Learning to Live
by k-marieee
Summary: I was lucky to have mates like mine, they were always there when I needed them and they were even there when I didn't want them to be, but I guess that's what it's like when you're the only girl marauder.You always feel protected. SB/OC JP/LE RL/OC FL/A
1. Introductions

First Chapter-Introductions

Two weeks! Two bloody weeks until I get to leave this hell whole and finally go home!(or atleast what I call home anyway). I'm locked up in my room(which is the attic by the way) and reading what I promised the boys I'd write this summer. As if I'd let them write it! This may be the the hundredth time I went over it but I want it to be perfect! I look down and reread it.

_The marauders, you've all heard of them. Infamous prankesters, respected by young and old. Here is for example what you know: That were good looking, which we are. That we pull of some damn good pranks, which we do. That we're always in detention, which we love. And that we can charm are way out of anything, which we can. But there is way more to it than that. And you ask how do I know this? Simple. I myself am a honorary Marauder member. And I can tell you anything you want to know about us, unless of course it a maraduers secret. But seeing as I was told to write this for our album so people can know the truth about us, looks like you get some secrets too! Here is what the marauders are like from the inside._

_James Harry Potter. My bestfriend since birth. He was already there, a built in mate if you will. He is tall around 6'2, hazel eyes, quidditch build and the messiest black hair you will ever see. I tried to tame it once with all the hair spells and potions I could find. I think its magically stuck that way. I believe it to be the potter curse. His father and grandfather both have it (in his grandfathers case had it). I shudder to think what if would be like if they had a girl. But I'm not afraid to say it, I don't care if hes my friend or not, James is good looking. He knows, I know it, the students know it, hell even the teachers probably know it! He shows it off too. Arrogant prat that he is. He's a bit on the cruel side (well if your slytherin or if you talk bad about someone he cares about) Hes my partner in crime, we've been knicking our parents wands since we could walk. Always the troublemakers we were, espeically when we got to Hogwarts. Which added Sirius another serious (no pun intened) prankster. James cares deeply about his friends. He is very brave and is one of the best people I know. You just have to look deep to see it (VERY DEEP)!_

_Sirius Orion Black. Boy am I glad we met on the Hogwarts express. He is one hell of a funny bloke. He is the only known member in his family to ever be in gryffindor. The black sheep of his family. His family (bloody prats) are pure bloods all the way. I mean look the family motto is Toujours pur ( always pure). It makes him sick. He was punished and beaten and disinheirted since he was 11 years old. And thankfully he finally got away. Mate, I would invited you here but well I seem to hate my parents as much as you hate yours and it wouldn't excalty be like the escape you wanted. Trust me.( I will explain later about my family seeing as I never told you guys. Sorry) Sirius is a damn good looking bloke too. He is same height as James with grey eyes if you think that it would look dull, think again. His black wavy MESSY hair falls just into his eyes. He just like James is also built. He is arrogant, egostical, and one of the biggest bloody prats you will ever meet. But since he is my other partner in crime I don't want to anger him to much by telling the truth seeing as he might purposly back fire our plans one day so that I get caught. He really is a great mate. He always has your back, always no matter what._

_Remus John Lupin. He is the most sensible one out of the marauders. Probably why Dumbledore made him a prefect last year. He is a little less stuck up than the rest of us, because he always feels like he isnt good enough just because of his furry little problem. Yes that's right Remus is a werewolf and if you read this and have a problem think again because I was hex you into next week. When we found out we all became illeagal animagi. James(Prongs) is a stag, Sirius(Padfoot) is a dog, Peter(wormtail) is a rat and me(stripes) is a tiger. He is taller than James and Sirius at 6'4. He has sandy brown hair and it less messy than the other boys but still just as long. He has amber eyes and also a quidditch build. He is a brilliant student ( not that the rest of us aren't because we are too he just studies and tries harder) He is the friend we all go to for advice. Hes always good for listening. I'm not saying he isnt hard headed or stuck up. I mean he is still a marauder and arent we all like that? When you get Remus pranking boy do you get him going._

_Peter Pettigrew ( hmm not quite sure about his middle name, never did mention it.) Shorter than the rest at 5'8, with blonde hair and watery blue eyes. He is a very loyal and faithful friend. He doesn't quite have the build that the other boys do but trust me, girl still want him just because hes a marauder. (oops didn't mention that before, James and Sirius are huge serial daters. I mean huge. Remus, well he sticks to girls longer, if he ever decided to say yes)! He is not a member of the quidditch team like the rest but is always there! He is quite funny when you get him talking. He is alittle shyer than the rest of us. All he needs is a good push! Acutally a large boost of confidence. But no the less he is still a great friend._

_Now all that's left it me. Xeomara Elizabeth Raes. I'm short and tiny and when I say that I mean short and tiny. I'm 5 feet tall and am lucky if I weight 110 pounds soaking wet. I have long dark brown hair(or black if you want because I mean really dark!) that falls in loose curls(naturally) to my waist. Big deep blue eyes or so I've been told. My whole family has been in ravenclaw for as long as anyone can remember. You see my family are decendents from Rowena Ravenclaw and Godric Gryffindor(as is james, so were distantly related somehow. I don't really know.) So noone has been in gryffindor in my family except me(even though were related, weird I know.) And I'm aboslutely hated for it. My parents just like sirius's are all going along with this bloke Voldemort about no muggle-borns, pure blood all the way. It bloody stupid. I've been beaten, straved, and treated as the family house elf since I came home that first christmas after the sorting(im sorry ive never told you this guys its embarrasing and you know I hate showing feelings.) You've seen the only time ive cried and you all did too. It was when we first found out about Remus. And trust me my family is rich enough to have a house elf, infact we have many but my parents(if you wanna call them that) make me do the work. Sometimes I think I was adopted because I look nothing like anyone in my family. They're all tall and thin with white blonde hair and brown eyes. Don't get me wrong I may be the only girl but I can hold my own. I'm just as arrogant and conceited as the rest and date just as many guys( though I only tell them about half because they seem to make a habit to scare the guys to death before we even date!)_

_All in all there is really more to us than people know, James, Sirius, Peter and Remus are my family and I know they feel the same about me. Together we make the best of friends and I hope everyone out there is jealous because they will never find better friends then me._

_With love,_

_Zee._

After reading over my letter a few more times, I realise its as good as its gonna get and I know my boys will love it either way. Just reading that letter makes me think about all the good times we had over the last five years and how in two years we will be graduating Hogwarts. I know we'll stay close as always seeing as we all have our own rooms basically at the potter's house. Buts its still sad. I mean hogwarts is my home. Where else am I going to go? I know I should have told the boys sooner about my family but better late then never right? It takes a long time for my to open up to anyone. Besides the marauders I only have one other friend. Lily Evan, a pretty, tall, redhead with the most beautiful green eyes. At first we hated eachother but sometime in second year we became friends. I also have to listen to her rant about how much of an arrogant toerag my James is. I wish she would just realise she loves him already its gets quite tiresome listening to the two bicker. I mean James figured it out ages ago. We probably werent friend sooner because I spent my whole first year in the boys dorm. I even had my stuff in there. They would all take turns sharing their beds with me. I was so small then that we had so much room, but after get caught by the head boy I was forced to live with the girls second year. Most of the girl hate me though because I'm with the most wanted boys in the school. Jealousy is such a useless emotion.

A loud knock on the door draws me out off all my thoughts. I know that I will probably have to answer it but it's always fun to make my mother yell.

" Xeomara! Don't you hear that? Go answer the bloody door girl!" my mother screams. I sigh and get off my bed and start my way down from the attic . " I'm coming mother, Merlin no need to scream so loud." She gives me a pointed look which obviousally means such your mouth or you will get beat extra hard later. Wonderful, I though I'd make it threw the day without so much of an argument. The beatings are tiring. I walk quickly to the door wondering who would be showing up without announcement seeing as my mother always has to have everything planned. I reach out and open our big french doors and my boys with the biggest goofiest smilies I've ever seen. Oh Merlin, this could get ugly.


	2. Different From What Were Used To

Chapter Two-Different From What Were Used To.

I stood there, unsure of what to do, while my mother was screaming "Xeomara, who is at the door?" When I didn't answer the boys looked at me like I had gone mad. Sure James has met my mother but ever since our parent stopped being friends over 6 years ago, he hasn't seen her since. I felt someone walk up behind me and internally groaned. The look on their faces was priceless and she walked up beside me. I could practically hear them thinking that we looked nothing alike. I watched as they took in her appearance and turned to see her taking in theirs. Her polite smile(which is usually fake) was turning into a thin line. I could feel my face getting red as she did this.

"Oh, daughter" she says coldy to me "why didn't you tell me you where having friends over?"

"Mother, I am just a surprised as you are. I had no idea that they were dropping by today, otherwise I would have most definitely informed you." I replied sarcastically. They noticed my tone but didn't say anything as my mother motioned for them to follow her. Reluctantly I moved and let them pass trailing behind. When we reached the kitchen. James spoke up finally and said "Hello Mrs. Raes' how lovely to see you again." Always the charmer that one.

"ah yes, James potter. And who might you boys be?"

"Remus Lupin mam'" remmie replied politely.

"I'm Sirius Black and He" pointing to Peter who look flustered. "is Peter Pettigrew."

My mother looked from me to Sirius with a look of pure disgust on her face. Not even bothering to hide it. Sirius looked somewhat taken back at the expression seeing as he usually only gets that from his mother and father. "Black, you say? Yes I know who you are." Sirius didn't answer probably thinking she was upset with his family. Which is quite the opposite actually seeing as our parents are friends. "and you are all gryffindors I take it?"

"Yes mother, **we** are all Gryffindors." She looked at me again and was opening her mouth to speak when a cold voice behind her drawled " Hmm, mum look a house full of Gryffindors. How lovely. I am Jessica Raes, Xeomara's sister. I graduated from Ravenclaw last year." She emphasized ravenclaw. "oh and dear sister mum has finally found you a bloke, it has taken her ages to find someone to agree to be married to you."

If possible the tension in the room grew. " MARRIAGE!" I blurted out angrily, leaving all dignity aside.

"Why yes darling, I arranged for your older sister Amanda's wedding and I arranged for Jessica to be married. Surely you didn't think just because you're a Gryffindor that I would find a nice pureblood Ravenclaw to marry you off to. Better hope your children carry on the father's tradition." My mother spoke with feigned politeness.

"Boys." I said abruptly. They looked at me with anger written all over their handsome faces. I could allow them to here this! They didn't know yet! "Get upstairs to my room." They looked at me like they weren't going to leave. "NOW!" I said loudly. They immediately did what I asked and turned to disappear through the swinging door.

"I will bloody well not get married ever mother! Especially to someone you choose! The boys you chose for my darling sister are PRATS! BIG BLOODY PRATS!" I screamed. "I refuse!

"Oh really, you refuse do you?" I tensed and watched and my father came into the view. My sister had a huge smile on her face waiting for what she knew was going to come. My father was a tall, built man with dark brown eyes. I'll admit that when he gives me that look I'm actually frightened of him. As he got closer I saw that his wand was out and pointed at my face. Oh please, not now! Not while the boys are here. "You will do what your mother and I ask of you without question. Do you understand?" I could feel my feelings quickly turned from being afraid to being angry, very angry. My blood was boiling and my hands were clenched into fists at my side.

"NO, I WON'T. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME FATHER!" He smiled as I screamed these words. A blue light shot out if his wand and hit me right under the eye. I felt the blood pouring down my face and splatter onto the floor. "DAMN YOU!" I yelled as I ran from the kitchen ignoring my fathers protests, my mothers screams and my sisters laughter.

-Sirius's POV-

We walked in silence up the stairs to the attic with Prongs leading the way. I kept replaying what just happened over and over in my head. I'm missing something. There has got to be something I'm missing. The way her mother acted and the way she acted back what did it remind me of something. My thoughts were cut short as we entered her room. It was huge. The walls were maroon for Gryffindor with cherry wood floors. She had a king size bed in the middle leaning on the opposite wall. Many big windows. A desk which had school books piled on top. In the corner was her big white owl standing on a perch. I noticed to doors on the opposite end of the room one was a large bathroom and the door next to it looked like it led it a walk in closet. Her room by all means was not clean. Her trunk was half opened with clothes and robes lying about the floor. The walls were covered with Gryffindor posters and pictures of us marauders and some of her and Lily.

"you know Sirius, her room kind of remind me of yours back at your old house. She also has permanent sticking charms on her posters!" I turned to look at James who was trying to lift of a picture of Lily he was looking at. When it dawned on me what he said. Like me. The room reminded him of my old one. Her mother and her remind me of the way my parents and I treated eachother! But no that can't be right. Zee got along with her parents. That's what she always told us anyway. And if something was wrong surely she would tell us? She wouldn't have anything to be embarrassed about seeing as I was treated the same way. And if she didn't want to tell the other why wouldn't she tell me? My thoughts again were interrupted by a loud deep voice.

"Oh really, you refuse do you? You will do what your mother and I ask of you without question. Do you understand?" I assumed automatically that that had to be Zee's dad.

"NO, I WON'T. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME FATHER!" I heard her scream loudly. Her voice was something I wasn't used to hearing. Sure she got angry and would yell but it never had that complete hatred. But it wasn't only that. It was the way it was spoken that got me curious it was spoken coldly but yet I could hear sadness? I'm not sure. It was quiet for a moment. None of us dared to speak when I heard her voice again "DAMN YOU!" I then heard the sound of the door swinging open extremely hard. I again assumed she had ran out of the kitchen. Her father was demanding her to listen to him, while her mother was screaming something along the line of you disgust me and her sister was like laughing madly. I heard her little foot steps running up the stairs and all of us turned towards the door. I knew it, something wasn't right.

When she walked in her head was down and her hair was covering her face. I thought I saw a flash of red and my thoughts were confirmed as I saw a drop or more of blood hit the floor as she tried to whirl into the washroom. James stepped out quick as a flash and grabbed her arm. He most have noticed too. I watched as Remus took a step closer as did Peter. I stood where I was in the middle of the room to stunned to say anything.

"Maurie, look at me. Look at me right now dammit." James ordered. She shook her head softly sending more blood to the floor. Remus backed James us "Zee, please. Look at us." I'm not sure whether it was his soft tone or she just didn't want to argue, but she looked up and I was even more shocked then before. There right under her right eye was a huge gash. It was from her nose to her ear. Blood covered the whole side of her face and was falling quickly onto her robes and the floor. It was the deepest cut I've ever seen.

Finally finding my voice I said "Xeomara, did he do that to you? Did your father do that?" She shook her head yes. I was instantly pissed. How could he! Zee was one of the best people I know and if she is going through what I went through…I just couldn't, I can't even think about how that would make me feel. How that would make James feel.

"Maurie, we have to get you to my house now! Your bleeding terribly my mum is really good at fixing these sort of things." James said.

"NO!" she said forcefully. "I can't leave I just-" she was cut of as she fainted no one was close to her since James had moved back. I lunged quickly and caught her before she fell. "James her fireplace now!" James went to the fire place yelled "Potter Manor!" and was off. I carried her with me and quickly flooed to the Potters. The minute I stepped out I heard James screaming

"Mum! Mum! Come quick and bring your wand. Hurry I need you!" Remus came out next followed by Peter who had still not spoken. I laid her down on the couch just as Jane walked into the door.

"Oh dear" she said spotting Zee. She quickly moved to her side without another word and began muttering under her breath while waving the wand over her gash. I looked at James who looked as pale a Zee was. I knew he was scared, They've known eachother since she was born and she was his little sister in every sense of the word. Remus was swearing under his breath and Peter was still just staring eyes widened in shock. When Jane stood up she looked at us with relief on her face. "Thank Merlin you got her here quickly it could have been bad but she'll be okay the wound will have to heal by itself but the it won't bleed anymore." She leaned down and brushed hair off Zee's pale face.

"Mum, what-what was that spell?" James muttered.

Jane look pained for a second as if she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell us or not but deciding in the end to tell us. "It was dark magic son, dark magic." She said quietly. James opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a soft little voice that brought music to my ears.

"Jimmy? Where am I? I-I James what on earth am I doing at your house! I'm going to be in so much trouble!" She quickly hopped up from the couch ignoring Jane's protests and heading towards the fire place. No one reached out to stop her. She looked at us and said "Don't come owl me until I owl you okay?" Without waiting for our replies she was suddenly spinning and was gone. James looked as if a vain was going to explode in his head. "Something is wrong, something is wrong" he said angrily.

-Xeomara's POV-

Suddenly I landed in my room and when I looked up I saw my father's pissed face, my mother's cold stare and my sisters evil smile. "Where have you been?!" He bellowed. His wand was instantly on me, I was lifted of my feet and landed roughly on the bed. Next thing I knew ropes were around my tying me down the bed. He walked over to me and looked down at my exhausted face. "You are not to leave this room unless we order you to cook, clean, or do any other dammed thing I want. Understand?" And without another word they all strolled out of my room. I heard my mother lock the door with her wand as she left. I closed my eyes and the next thing I knew I was asleep.

They kept their word, for the next week and a half I did nothing but scrub floors, cook dinner, clean the washrooms, and sleep. That's what I seemed to be doing most the most lately. I wasn't given any food and was watched while I was cooking so I couldn't knick any. It was pure hell. I was so tired all the time that I didn't even want to open my eyes. But I knew I had to. Even though I did as they ask that still didn't stop the beatings. I was punched, kicked and slapped around more than once. I didn't understand why this had to happen to me. Weren't they in the wrong? How could you do this to your own child. The answer came to me as soon as I thought it, because they hate me. The despise me. I am nothing to them, but a stupid little Gryffindor, that they won't even allow to attend Hogwarts anymore(yes that's right they want to keep me here!) But I already know that won't happen. You see, I have a plan. Everyday after they untie me and allow me to use the bathroom I've been slowly packing my trunk. By the time September 1st comes around, I'll be ready to fly to Kings Cross.

The night before Hogwarts I was awakened out of my sleep muttering "Please, Please not now, I'll do anything. No more." I stopped when I heard Sirius's voice in my ears. "Zee, It's us. You haven't owled us we've been worried out of our minds. Is everything okay?" he just finished when James chimed in "Zee, you better have a good explanation for not owling us."

"You guys have to leave right now! I got in so much trouble for leaving. I got punished and they took my owl away." Sure it was only half truthful but atleast some of it was right. "please" I added. I watched as they muttered something about okay and see you tomorrow then and left. I dropped my head and quickly fell back into a deep sleep. When I woke up the next morning I reached back as far as I could while being tied up and grabbed my wand(bloody idiots didn't even take my wand away) I pointed it at the roped that quickly disappeared and hurried around my room packing my trunk. I made it light and attached it to my broomstick. When suddenly my parents entered with my sister trailing behind. He saw that I was standing there "How did you- How did you- oh nevermind. CRUCIO!"I was shocked, as much as he hit me and cut me up he had never used an unforgivable on me ever. I was thrown to the floor and felt as though a thousand hot knives were stabbing every inch of my body. I screamed and kept screaming until finally what felt like hour he took it off. I knew I was weak but didn't care. I stood up quickly pointed my wand at my mother and a red set of light shot at her and hit her square in the chest. My father was shocked to say the least. I'm sure he didn't realize how accomplished at magic I was. We weren't supposed to learn nonverbals until this year. My sister threw a hex at me but I quickly blocked it with a wave of my wand. The force knocked her back into a wall were she quickly passed out. Without waiting for my father to turn and face me I stunned him and he flew out the door into the hall. I locked my door, grabbed my broom and kicked off.

It felt so good to be flying that I started to laugh as soon as I was in the air. I felt so carefree up here. Where there were no troubles to follow me around it. I loved the feeling of the wind blowing in my face. When the adrenaline was gone I felt terrible. My whole body ached and I was freezing. It was still summer out and I had a big sweatshirt and muggle jeans yet I was freezing. My head felt like it was going to explode. I landed in Kings Cross and starting sprinting towards the barrier without stopping I ran right through it. I had only one minute to spare as I ran on the train. I then went to the marauders compartment located at the very last part of the train and entered.

"Blimey Zee, I was so sure you weren't going to make!" James exclaimed!

I felt terrible but I couldn't let them know that. I started to pick up my trunk to put it on the top shelf when my arms give out. What?! I thought. I could always pick it up. The boys seemed to be along the same train of thoughts because they all gave me a look before Moony picked up my trunk and placed it on the rack for me. "Thanks" I muttered. Then I took my seat which was the window seat and sat next to James. Sirius was on his other side and Peter and Remus were across from us. "Merlin, I was so nervous I wasn't going to make it on time! Flying all the way to Hogwarts would have been bloody terrible!" I said. Right after I said that someone through open the glass door with extreme force. And in front of it stood a tall beautiful red head the I recognized as my only girl mate Lily. "Xeomara!" She squealed. "I've missed you! Ever since you left my house for these prats!"

"Flower, I'm hurt" replied Padfoot. His Hand over his heart. She gave him a call-me that-name-again-and-I-will-kill-you-look. She didn't answer him and said to me "Are you staying here or are you going to come sit with me?"

"I'm gonna stay with my boys" The all grinned at me when I said this and I laughed making my head feel worse and leaned it on James shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. "Okay, I'll see you later dear, and we'll catch up." With that she was gone and I was shivering. "you cold?" James asked me shocked. I nodded my head and he wrapped his arms tighter around me as I shivered.

"I am so tired." I whined.

"Sleep." Peter said softly. I smiled at him and no sooner than I closed my eyes,I lost consciousness.


	3. learning to get help

By the way I don't own any harry potter characters, except the oc's which you know who they are. J.K Rowling own them all the rest! Also her name is pronounced ZEE-O-MARA.

Chapter Three- Learning to get help.

-James' POV-

After Zee fell asleep we all sat in silence which is highly unusual for us seeing as we are the most obnoxious people at the school. I kept thinking about how thin Zee looked(well thinner than usual) and how she kept shivering in my arms. She has purple under each eye looking as though she hasn't slept in weeks. The color resembles something close to when you have a broken nose. Her cheeks are sunken in and her face is white. I knew the others boys were thinking along the same lines as I was but none of us made a move to talk about it. Moony had his eyes closed and a his thumb and index finger we placed along the bridge of his nose something I knew he did when he was upset or trying to conceal an emotion. Wormtail was fidgeting quite a lot and had a look of confusion on his face as if trying to think really hard of what was going on. Sirius on the other hand had a look of complete sadness etched upon his face. I'm not sure exactly how many hours passed but we were quiet for the complete first half of the train ride until. BAM!

The compartment door slammed open for the second time again letting me know that it was Evans. "ZEEEEEEEEE!" she screamed loudly.

-Xeomara's POV-

I heard my name being screamed really loudly but the pain in my head got so much worse that I couldn't open my eyes let alone even answer back so I just sat there acting as though I was still asleep which I wish I was.

"Evan's for merlin's sake be quiet Zee is sleeping. She doesn't feel good and your going to wake her up!" I was confused by his tone of voice I could tell something was bothering him.

"Sorry Potter." She replied coolly. "I didn't know." And with that being said I heard the door open and close again and Lily was gone. A silence fell over the group for a moment and I fell uneasy.

Remus broke the silence by saying "Zee, looks horrible." I was shocked I mean sure I knew I looked bad but Remus was never that blunt. Something was wrong with them. If I could just open my eyes.

"Remus!" hissed James. "That was quite-" he was cut off by Peter who said "I'm sure that's not what he meant James, he wasn't trying to be rude."

"Thank you Wormtail. What I'm saying James is look at her! She looks thinner than normal I wouldn't be surprised if she was under a hundred pounds! Her eyes have huge purple bags under them making her look like she hasn't had a wink of sleep in the two and a half week that we last saw her! Her face is as white as nearly headless Nick and she couldn't even lift her trunk. Since when have you known her not to be able to lift her trunk. She could even lift it in first year when she was about four foot." He said sarcastically.

"James, I think he's right mate. She has always been able to lift her trunk. Did you hear her voice when she said she was tired and when she tried to talk normally as if nothing was wrong when she got here? He voice sounded as if she hasn't talked in weeks James!" For Peter that was unusually perceptive. I noticed that Sirius hadn't spoken yet. Was he here at all or out snogging some girl? I wish I could open my mouth to talk but another part of me wants to know what they are going to say next. I also wish I had a bloody blanket I'm freezing.

"James mate" Remus started again. "Look at her, she has been shivering since she walked on the train! It's still blazing hot outside and she is wearing those muggle jeans and a big sweatshirt. Check to see if she has a fever." I felt James tilt his head down and rest his cold cheek against my burning forehead. He immediately lifted it off as fast as he could, as though I burnt him. I heard some ruffling and then a hand was placed on my forehead that wasn't James'. It was Sirius. Don't ask me how I know I just do. He also lifted his hand off quickly. So he was here. I wonder why he hasn't spoken yet.

"She's burning up Remus, her head feels like it's on fire." I could hear the frown in Jimmy's voice. "I know she hates the hospital wing but I don't care If we have to drag her in there by force, she is going to get checked out!" It was silent again and I thought about what James said. He was right of course I did need to get checked out. I knew that if I didn't I wouldn't be able to do anything. I wasn't able to do anything as it is. I need to tell him that I'd go without any unnecessary force.

I focused really hard and finally found my voice. "No force required" I croaked out. "I'll go quietly."

"Maurie, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked hurriedly.

"Everything. Everything hurts Jimmy." I shivered violently this time and I heard James mutter "accio james's blanket." I then felt something being wrapped tightly around me along with James arms. "But listen up because I'm only going to say this once. I don't think I could walk, hell I can't even open my eyes. Something isn't right so can one of you-" I trailed off.

"I'll do it." That was the first time I heard Sirius speak. He sounded upset. Really upset. "thank you." I murmured back to him.

"Go back to sleep, were almost there." James said softly as he bent down and kissed my forehead. Without a second thought I fell back into a heavy sleep.

I was jerked awake by someone lifting me up. I could tell it was Sirius by the smell of his cologne. "Sirius?" I whispered. "Sirius, can you please put the cloak on us I don't want to be seen. Please." Without question I felt something being draped over us and knew it was the cloak. "I'll get her trunk." I heard Peter say. And then we were off. Sirius was walking quickly dodging people left and right. I heard something from James that sounded like hurry up. I'm guessing we were in the castle when the cloak came off of us. I could feel myself get nauseous as he began to walk faster and faster. Then I heard Professor McGonagall's loud voice "Potter, Black, Lupin, Pettigrew? What on earth is going on? Why aren't you going to the great hall? Why are you still in MUGGLE clothes" She added on.

"Xeomara's sick mam', give us detention later if you want! But we have to hurry!" Remus said loudly. I was really surprised with Remus today, he must actually be worried about me. He never spoke like that. Especially to a teacher. McGonagall must have noticed to because she said "Oh dear, hurry up then I'll meet you there."

I heard a door swing open and Sirius shout "Madam Pomfrey! Hurry we need your help!"

"Black the feast hasn't even started yet and your already injured honestly. Up to know good I except. I- Oh. Hurry lay her down on the bed!" For she must have just realized he was talking about me. I felt myself being lowered onto a bed. "Step out for a moment boys while I change her." They protested a little, not wanting to leave my side but none the less heard the curtain closing. She then began to strip me of my blanket and clothes and I shivered even more violently then before. I knew I had bruises all over my body but that was something I could lie about later. She didn't say anything about them but quickly and sharply said "Miss Raes, when is the last time you ate?!"

I moaned softly from the pain and the strong wave of nausea I just had. The boys must have heard this because I heard the curtain being pulled open loudly. Madam Pomfrey didn't even bother to stop them. "two in a half weeks ago. I had this weird muggle stomach virus and well it lasted for a whole week and I was scared to eat after that." I lied expertly.

"Well yes, that could happen I suppose but why may I ask have you gotten all these bruises?" She began putting a hospital robe on me. Damn what was I supposed to say to that. I just wanted my head to stop pounding. Oh no. "Madam Pomfrey!" I said alarmed. She must have known what was going to happen because a bucket was quickly thrust into my hands were I promptly threw up, all that was in my stomach which was nothing but- "Bile." She said. She took the bucket away and I lay back down on the bed. I heard some bustling around as she was no doubt looking for some potions. She came back and I managed to open one eye.

"Hear drink this. Your are way under nourished and this will put you to sleep until your body feels ready to wake up again." I looked at the clear liquid she handed me. I guess I could stomach this. I then looked at the boys for the first time since sleeping. James and Sirius were extremely pale, Remus had his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose and Peter's eyes were more watery than usual. I quickly drank the potion. Before I could think to say anything I was knocked unconscious.

-Sirius's POV-

Bruises? Not eaten for two and a half weeks? There is no way that it was a muggle virus. She is lying and I know it. It's something more. No one spoke since Madam Pomfrey gave us permission to stay as long as we wanted and went to go speak with Dumbledore and McGonagall. I walked over to the chair beside her bed and sat down and took her cold hand in mine. James was at her head stroking her hair. Peter sat down on the edge of her bed staring at her. Remus had taken her hand on the other side. We sat quietly for merlin knows how long. She hasn't even stirred once yet. Not one damn time. I looked up and said "Why don't we take turns sitting with her until she wakes up. We'll each stay and hour and then trade off? I'll stay first. Prongs can come next, than you Moony the you Wormtail." They didn't speak just nodded in agreement. And then they were gone.

I laid my head down on the bed still holding her hand. Why? Why Zee. She was one of the best mates I could ever ask for. Sure I don't know exactly what happened but what more proof did I need. Her father already used dark magic on her by slicing open her cheek. I felt like it was something that would happen at my house. My father cursing me, my mother screaming at me for being a "traitor" and my brother just laughing. We could have gotten her out of there sooner. The Potter's would have taken her in without a moment's hesitation. They loved her as their own daughter. All she had to do was ask. How could she keep something like this to herself for so long. I was angry that she didn't tell us. If not me, why not James? They were closer than two people can be. Finishing eachothers sentences, reading eachothers thoughts (not that they ever admitted they could but it sure seemed like it). Maybe she just didn't want us to worry. But now were more worried. She must know we were going to ask questions when we wake up. How could she not? I was interrupted out of my thought by a hand on my shoulder.

"Padfoot?" James muttered softly. "Padfoot mate, go get some sleep." I sat up and he gave my shoulder a squeeze. "something's wrong mate, something bad happened I know it." I said.

"I know" is all he said before taking my place in the chair. I walked to the Gryffindor tower and up to my dormitory knowing I wasn't going to get any sleep. I laid down and closed my eyes and just stayed there. I heard James coming back and Remus leaving. Then I heard Remus coming back and Peter leaving and still I couldn't sleep. It was 6 in the morning when we all decided to go down and sit with Peter. We were permitted to stay there until she woke up and didn't have to go to classes. Lily ran up to the hospital wing demanding to know what happened. Remus told us he would take care of it and took her out of the hospital wing to explain. We sat there all day staring at her, hoping she would move or wake up. That night the same thing happened. I started out, I kept talking to her begging her to wake up.

Then the best new I heard all day happened when Remus ran up to the dorm. "She woke up!" He screamed happily.

"what?!" James, Peter, and I exclaimed in unison.

"I'll tell you." he said.

"I was sitting

_there after I woke James us and was holding her hand. I kept talking to her telling her how worried we all were and that we needed her to wake up. I noticed she was moving around quite a lot but she didn't wake up. Finally about 5 minutes before me shift ended, I saw her eyes open._

"_Moony" She said softly. I looked up at her and bent down to kiss her on the forehead._

"_oh Zee" I muttered. "Finally! We've been waiting for you to wake up." I told her how we've been taking turns staying with her and how Snappy James was being with everyone and how tired Sirius looked and how Peter looked sad all the time. She apologized for worrying us and asked how long she'd been asleep._

"_Tonight is the second night you've been sleeping for."_

_She looked shocked and said "Oh merlin, I am just so tired."_

"_go back to sleep Zee, we'll be here when you wake up. And I hope you better be prepared to answer questions because we have quite a few."_

"_okay" she said and closed her eyes._

"then that's when I came up here and told you!" Remus finished still extremely excited. Peter quickly left the room to go to the hospital wing. Remus and James laid down and I knew they finally got some sleep as there snores filled the room. I myself laid down and finally the snores got quieter as if being heard through a tunnel and soon I fell asleep.


	4. Getting Answers

-I own none of the harry potter characters except zee(so far).

Chapter Four-Getting Answers.

-Xeomara's POV-

I woke up to the sound of James' voice "are you absolutely sure she woke last night Moony? You weren't just dreaming right? We've been here for hours and she hasn't even opened her eyes yet!"

"Of course I wasn't dreaming James! I bloody talked to her for merlin's sake!" Remus replied heatedly. Didn't anybody realize I was sitting here with my eyes open? I inwardly laughed at the looks on their faces. I can't believe they were arguing about this. Why in the world would James assume Remus was dreaming?

"Did anyone bring her robes? I'm sure when she wakes up she'll want to be out of here as quickly as possible." Sirius said trying to break the tension.

I smiled broadly "You know me all too well don't you Padfoot?" They all looked down shocked. Then the next thing I knew I was engulfed in a huge hug by my boys. They sat back and looked at me as if they thought I was going to disappear. I tried sitting up felt a little weak, James and Sirius noticed so they picked me up under the arms and lifted me so I was fully sitting up. I brought my knees to my chest and laid my head on them. "You're so tiny" James teased.

"ah yes, making jokes at my expense. I bet you were waiting to do that weren't you? I joked back. His face sobered quickly. And then I knew what was coming, the questioning.

"What happened?" He then asked. "I don't know where to start" I said quietly not wanting Madam Pomfrey to know I was awake yet. "From the beginning" Sirius said.

"Uh okay…hmm" I started off. "Well you know obviously that Jimmy and I have been friends since birth right? Well are parents are distantly related somehow and were the only Gryffindors they ever tolerated. James and I both are descendents from Rowena Ravenclaw and Godric Gryffindor. All of James family has been in Gryffindor and My whole family has been in Ravenclaw, Except me." I looked down hiding my face and continued on. "My family is quite a lot like yours Sirius, all the stupid pureblood nonsense, worshipping Voldemort. That's why our parents stopped talking James, of course I didn't figure it out until I came home for Christmas holiday in first year.

I always wanted to be in Gryffindor with James always, and my parents knew that but excepted me to be a Ravenclaw anyway because that's what we were pureblooded Ravenclaws descended from Rowena herself is what they always told me. It sickened me. That sorting hat told me that I extremely bright the quality of a Ravenclaw. He then said I would do no good in Slytherin or Hufflepuff, Then he told me he noticed my bravery and that it outshined everything else. So when I was sorted into Gryffindor, I'll never forget the look on my sister's face. She was so disgusted. I was met with the same look on my parents face when I went home. I was immediately moved to the attic. I decorated it with money and help from my Aunt the only one that didn't hate me."

"Aunt Maryanne" James cut in. "I remember she was the only family member you really ever talked about. I remember when she died in the middle of our third year and you said how you didn't want to go to the funeral because you were scared but it was really because of your family right?"

I nodded but went on with my story. "I was the new family house elf. You all know I'm anything but poor. But I was told to do the cooking and cleaning. I was given barely any food. Just like you Sirius I was beaten and pretty bad might I add. First thing my dad did was push me down my stairs."

"Your stairs!" Remus spluttered out. "But we saw them they're bloody huge! Is that why you came back with a broken ribs and arms? You didn't fall off your broomstick did you?"

"Catching on huh?" I then told them off the injuries I had and how bad it was at home. I finally looked up from my knee and saw that they had tears on their faces. All of them. I then touched my own face and was surprised to fine tears on my own. "they hate me." I said softly. "They really despise me" I added more angrily. "Oh and Sirius maybe this is also a good time to mention that our parents are friends. Bloody gits, big stupid Voldemort supporters." Peter gasped when I said his name. I rolled my eyes.

"WHAT?!" Sirius all but screamed. "Keep your voice down and I'll tell you." He nodded and I said "Well it was in the summer before second year..

_I was surprised when I was called down from my room because I was never allowed downstairs when mother had her "friends" over. I walked into the dining area to find my mother and none other than Walburga Black. I was shocked._

"_Get us some tea will you?" It was more or an order than a question. I nodded and walked into the kitchen. When I came back out I quickly walked over pouring tea in both they're glasses and setting the sugar and cream in front of Sirius's mum while I fixed my mother's._

"_Surely you know my daughter Xeomara?" My mother asked ._

"_Why of course, Gryffindor isn't she?" I felt my temper flare up. "And bloody proud about it too by the looks of it. Just like my dear son Sirius." I was getting even angrier if she says one more thing.. "Dishonoring the family name, blood traitor, and a useless-"_

_I cut her off. "__**Sirius**__, is not useless! He is one of the most talented wizards of our age! You're his mother surely you know that?! He is also not the traitor! You and your family are the traitors to the wizarding world! Going along with Voldemort and his stupid purity rules. I know a lot more decent wizards that are muggle-born and I'm sure they're a hell of a lot better at magic than you! I bet voldemort isn't even a pure blood. There is hardly any wizards left that are completely pure. The times are changing either change with them or don't, but in the long run it's __**you **__who will loose everything." I screamed out!_

"_Xeomara, Damn you!" Mother spat out. "Don't you dare talk to that way!"_

"_No its quite alright Lynn." said. "May I?" She added pointing her wand at my chest. My mother nodded "Be my guest." With that I felt something cut into me. I put my hands to my stomach and when I pulled away saw blood. I can feel my eyes watering but I will not cry in front of her. She laughed at my face as she screamed "Stupefy!" The last thing I heard was my own mother join in on her laughter as I crumpled to the floor in a puddle of my own blood."_

I finished the story and Saw Sirius had pure fury written all over his face. "My mother- S-She hexed you?" He stuttered out. "You know," He began again his voice lighter and his face softened. "I guess I have you to thank for not getting hexed for a whole weak. She was so angry when she came home that she sent me up to my room and said something about my stupid friends and their big mouths. She wouldn't look at me for a week which was great for me." I laughed after he said that as did everyone else.

With the mood lighter I told them something I've been meaning to tell them. "Guys! I did it! I managed to transform! Okay so it was only once but I still did it none the less! When I get out of this damn place can we go outside and practice pleaseeeeee" They laughed again and my whining. "of course will take you out side!" Wormtail said happily. Before I could reply Madam Pomfrey walked out.

"Oh Miss. Raes'! Your awake! How long have you been awake?"

"For quite a while actually" I said giving her my most charming smile. She had no choice but to smile back. "I'm feeling better. Immensely so Madam. I'm quite ready to be released." I said still smiling at her. If this didn't get me out of here I don't know what would.

"I- Oh well I guess that would be okay dear. Well first off you've simply got to eat more food. Boys make sure she eats and get enough rest "They nodded "Well you can- WAIT!" She said suddenly. "The bruises."

"What bruises Madam?" I asked sweetly. "I have gotten any." She gave me a look clearly trying to remember if I have or not. "I'm going to go get Professor Dumbledore."

"Okay, I'm just going to get dressed so I can leave when you get back" I yelled to her as she was shutting the door. She looked at me and sighed knowing this was a lost cause.

"Quite the charmer aren't you Zee?" Moony said. I suddenly got up a little unsteady. Sirius straighten me out.

"Peter go get that mirror!" I said pointing to a mirror in the corner in the room. He came over with it. "Remus shut the curtains! Don't give me that look hurry up I've much stuff to do with little time!" He obeyed. The second the curtain was shut I stood in front of the mirror and started to take off my hospital gown. Standing there in my bra and knickers I froze. I looked at myself fully in the mirror and was disgusted. I was pale and so terribly thin. I could count the bones in my ribs.

James reached out and touched my ribs with two long fingers a sad look on his face. "You're so thin" He said sadly. I sighed. Not wanting to look at myself anymore I picked up my wand and started covering up the many bruises on my body. Starting at my face and moving all the way down to my legs. "Well don't just stand there staring help me!" James moved behind me kneeling down started covering them back of my body from my legs and up. Once that was done I leaned forward and covered the rings underneath my eyes. I didn't worry about my complexion. "When, are you going to tell us what happened?!" Remus demanded. I shook my head letting him know not now. I took the hair band from around my wrist and put my dark curls into a sloppy bun. "Robes?" I was handed a pair of Gryffindor robes and started putting them on. My hands shaking I started to button my top. Sirius brushed my hands out of the way and buttoned it up himself.

After I was done changing I heard footsteps. "Hurry they're coming!" Peter rushed to the other side of the room with the mirror and Remus opened the curtains fully. I sat cross legged on my bed with James sitting next to me. Sirius in one chair, Remus in the other and Peter on the edge of my bed. When they walked in. I breathed out in relief, knowing we just made it.

"Why hello there Miss Xeomara, Welcome back!" Dumbledore said politely. I smiled at him and he smiled back his blue eyes twinkling. ", , , ." He greeted them.

"Hello sir." They said in unison. I laughed softly at their unsure expressions.

"Xeomara! Show him." I looked at her confused. "The bruises." She explained.

"But I already told you Madam! I haven't gotten any!" I said innocently.

"Lift your shirt up Miss! I know what I saw!" I sighed and lifted up my shirt exposing my stomach, feeling extremely uncomfortable I turned red. She looked stunned. "No" she said to herself. "No. I know they were there! Professor I know what I saw!"

"Not to worry Poppy, people make mistakes your only human. The only thing I see is that you look quite thin dear. Would you care to explain?" The boys all got a nervous look on their faces but I remained calm.

"Sir, I had a muggle virus. I vomited everything I ate, and having not contracting it before I was actually quite nervous to try eating again." I laughed nervously as if I was embarrassed.

"Quite understandable. Madam Pomfrey may I take Xeomara to my office I'd like to have a word with her?" She nodded and I stood up. "I assume the boys will be joining us?" He added.

"You assumed correctly sir!" I said and smiled brightly. He answered my smile just a bright and we were off. Once we were half way there Dumbledore stopped and looked at me.

", I should warn you. The head of The Magical Law Enforcement is in my office right now waiting for you."

"I excepted nothing less, I knew they would be there why else did you think I agreed to come?"

"How did you- How did you know sir?" James asked.

"He's always known James, I've been having private meetings with him since after Christmas first year." He look surprised and angry. Angry? I thought why angry?

My thought we interrupted as Dumbledore said "I want you to know that no matter what is said or er- shown in there that your father has no chance of being arrested, your mother also." He said leading the way again to his office.

"I know sir. I've always known." Sirius opened his mouth and quickly shut it again probably not knowing what to say.

"But sir!" Remus said. "How could he not be! What he did to her it just doesn't make sense."

"Of course it does . Her father has a very high place in the ministry as you know. She also has had the time to modify her memory changing the events. Even though the ministry knows he has been up to no good they can't charge him. He has to be caught in the act. Also I'm assuming your fought back Xeomara?" he said smiling in my direction.

"You assumed right again sir!" By that time we reached his office and sure enough there he was. Young and built with brown hair and brown eyes. He held out his hand and said "Barty Crouch" I held out my own small hand and shook his. "Xeomara Raes. And this is Remus Lupin, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Sirius Black." nodded at them in greeting. Dumbledore conjured up a bench for us to sit on. I sat in between James and Sirius. Remus stood behind me and peter took the seat next to James.

"I would like for you to explain the week's events for ." He said.

"Explain the events? How are they supposed to know it's the truth?" Padfoot asked.

"We have a very different way of explain ." Said Crouch. "Surely you know ?" I nodded. He held his wand to my temple and I shook my head.

"I'm quite capable of doing it myself sir."

"You know how..?" he trailed off uncertainly.

"Why of course." I put my wand up to my left temple and pulled out the first memory. I placed it in dumbledore's pensieve. And soon the scene in the kitchen played out as if on an imaginary projector.

We watched as I told my mother I wasn't get married and then watched in silence as my father cursed me causing my cheeks to bleed. Remus hands were on my shoulders giving me support and no doubt giving himself his own comfort as he watched this.

"Next memory, Xeomara." Crouch said taking notes. I pulled my wand up and got the second memory. I placed my hands down and soon found them intertwined one with James' and one with Sirius's. I saw myself getting out of the fire place and tied down to my own bed. Listened as he told me that I wasn't allowed to leave unless I was told. It continued on showing my life throughout the week. Only getting up the clean or if they felt like beating me. On these part James and Sirius's hands would go tighter around mine and Remus would squeeze my shoulders. I heard sniffling and looked first at James who was crying hard as was Sirius, Remus and Peter. Finally the day came where I was escaping. This time I squeezed their hands. As my memory self reached for my wand Crouch said "They didn't even take your wand away?"

"No, those bloody idiots. You saw, I found in on my dresser when I was "allowed" alone time.." He only nodded. "sorry professor" I added. We watched as I stood up and saw my father enter the room. I heard him stutter out wondering how. Then said "Oh nevermind. CRUCIO!" I watched as I screamed and was twitching on the floor. It was then that I finally broke down and cried. I was sobbing hard but never taking my eyes of the screen. My screams filled the room for only thirty seconds but it felt more like an hour. I saw myself get up and stun my mother silently. Then saw as the force of my unspoken shield charm knocked my sister into a wall unconscious and the look of surprise on my fathers face as I stunned him and he flew out the door. With a flick of my wand the door was slammed shut with another flick it was locked. Then I hopped on my broom and I was on my way.

The memory stopped there. At the same time James, Sirius and I all put our heads in our hands and began scrubbing at the tears on our faces. When I looked up I saw that Peter was openly wiping his tears on his sleeve. I turned around to look at Remus. He made no move to wipe his off. I reached up and wiped his off softly with my fingertips.

"So he used an unforgivable curse on you? I wish we would have caught him. But don't worry we will catch him at something. I'm sorry there is nothing more I can do."

"It's quite alright" my voice cracking. He nodded and said "til we meet again." With a swish of his cloak he walked swiftly from the room.

I looked up and Dumbledore. He looked back at me this time not smiling. "I was waiting for something like this to happen. That's why I tired to prepare you. Giving you extra lessons, teaching you magic that you should be learning now and in your seventh year. If you would have used the way I showed you to communicate with me. I would have come, you know." He said softly. "but I am also very proud of you. It took a lot of strength to stand up after a curse like that. And even more to be able to produce magic. I just wish there was something more I could have done." He finished regretfully.

"Sir, I am happy with what you've given me and it means a lot. You and I both know there was nothing more that could be done. Sir, are we allowed to leave?"

"Thanks Xeomara. Yes go on be on your way" He said now smiling again. "Oh." He called after me. I turned around "For what it's worth, you truly are an exceptional witch."


	5. Stripes

-I only own Xeomara, all the other characters belong to the great J.K Rowling!

Chapter 5- Stripes.

I was still smiling after leaving Dumbledore's office but upon seeing the looks on my bestfriends faces, it fell short. Sirius spoke up first "Why?" he asked me. "Why for the love of merlin for haven't you told anyone? Zee, all the things we have told you over the years and the help you have given us, did you not except the same thing in return. What is it? Why wouldn't you tell us. And don't say you were embarrassed because I don't want to hear it! I could understand you maybe not wanting to tell them. But me Zee, Me!" he repeated again. "Why wouldn't you tell me?! We've been living with the same problems for five years. What would be wrong with telling me? I'd understand better than anyone! You know that! We could have even helped each other think about. Knowing we were both going through the same thing, it would have giving me some comforting knowing I wasn't alone. I'm upset with you. I'm upset with you know for not telling us. Me!"

I stared at him feeling guilty. I didn't know what to say. What could I say. I knew keeping this from them was wrong but every time I started to tell them I'd chicken out. Maybe if I explained that then he would- "No. Don't talk yet I'm not finished!" Sirius spat out. "Okay so you didn't want to tell me fine! But, what about James. Your best friend, your brother since birth! You have any idea how much he worries about you. If the littlest thing is wrong with you, he all but has a heart attack. You know how much he cares for you. Imagine if something was wrong with him and he kept it from you for five years! How would you feel? I know you care about him Zee. I know you care about us, but we're hurt. We can't imagine why you didn't trust us." With this being said he looked away and stared out the window. I was in complete shock. I always thought about what was happening to me. Never thinking about how my friends would feel if they knew. I knew stuff about them, and it hurt me as if it was my own problem. It was my own problem. We were best friends, if something was wrong with one of us something was wrong with all of us. I should have told them.

"I was wrong." I whispered. Sirius head flipped towards my own. His eyes filled with sadness. I took a step towards him. "You're right Sirius. I was being silly. To think my friends wouldn't understand, even when you were going through the same thing. To think you would all treat me differently if I told you. Giving me pity and not treating me like me. I tried. I tried to tell you. I was going to tell you in second year, but then after finding out about Remus I decided that I was going to do it. Not yet I told myself. We had enough to handle." Remus looked at me, his eyes shining. I took another step towards Sirius. And another until we were so close that if I was taller we'd being seeing eye to eye. He looked down at me and I stared into his deep grey eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." And with that I reached up and placed my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. After a moment hesitation he gave in and hugged me back just a tightly. "I was so worried" he said into my hair, not breaking the hug. "I knew something wasn't right yet I couldn't do anything. You don't know how much it hurt me, hurt them that we weren't there to help."

I pulled back from the hug and looked around at all of them. "But that's just it. You were there. All of you, every step of the way. Making me laugh, helping me get into trouble, something you all know I love and just being there. You may not have known but just being my friends and staying with me has helped more than anything. Even more than the lessons I've received from Dumbledore. I couldn't have done it if I didn't have you all." James looked at me and are eyes met. Finally understanding. A thousand of his thoughts poured into my head by just staring into his eyes. We were always in sync him and I. I knew my thought were filling up his own head. He held out one hand and I lifted my own and placed it in his. I knew he was hurt, angry and betrayed but he still loved me and that's all that matters.

"If I-If I would have lost you I'd-" I cut him off "You wouldn't have, and you never will." He smiled at me and pulled me into his own tight embrace. When we pulled back I knew I still had to make amends with Remus and Peter. I turned to Peter first and opened my mouth to say something. But he got there first. "You don't have to say anything Zee. I already forgive you." He then hugged me and I hugged him back and turned to Remus. I knew this affected him just as it has done to Sirius and James because he also knew what it was like to be hated, to be ridiculed.

"Remus, I" I started off not sure how I wanted to say this. "I didn't want to tell you Remus. I didn't want you to worry. I thought about telling you, time and time again but I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. When I found out about you, well you know your furry little problem I felt that I couldn't tell you. I didn't want to make you worry about me. I just wanted to be there for **you **and make sure you were okay. I didn't want something else to be added on for you to think about. You already had Sirius's problem on your mind and Worrying about James's Parents with this whole Voldemort issue and you had your problem Remus. I didn't need mine to burden you as well." He didn't speak but before I knew it his handed wrapped around my arm pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. "You will never be a burden to me, do you understand?" I nodded trying to hide the tears on my face.

I was stupid, so stupid to think I couldn't tell them. The tension was broken and I felt better than I had in years. They knew now, and they were there for me. They would always be there for me. I couldn't contain the smile that felt its way onto my tear stained face. They smiled back.

We began making our way to the Gryffindor talent in silence, James hand wrapped around mind giving me the strength I needed. When I suddenly stopped. "Wait! Didn't you guys agree to take me to the forest so I could practice?!"

"oh yeah-" Sirius started but was cut off by Remus "Not now we have to go see Lily first, We wouldn't let her in the hospital wing or tell her what was wrong. She's been driving me mad every time I saw her, asking me question after question. She almost resorted to asking James and well you know how that went. So we will go see Lily first and after she's sees your alive we'll go to the forest." He added on smiling.

"Oh alright" I said sulkily. They just laughed at my expression.

Soon we entered the common room after James said "mandrake" to the portrait. I walked in and instantly spotted Lily sitting with Alice Pervel a seventh year and another girl whos name I couldn't quite remember at the moment(even though she was part of our dorm) with short blonde hair that was framed around her face. "LILLLLLLLYYYYYYYY" I screamed loudly. Everyone in the common room turned and stared at me. Lily spotting me Screamed "ZEEEEEEE!" back as she sprinted at full speed across the room to where I was standing she leapt up and tackled me to the ground in a ginourmous hug. I fell to the ground with an "oof" her on top of me, red hair in face. Spitting it out of my mouth I said "Real lovely to see you Lily, but seeing as I need oxygen to live it would be best if you I don't know maybe got off?" She laughed shakily as the common room filled with later.

"You know, Xeomara, maybe you don't deserve oxygen for making me worry like that. Are you mad?!" I realized her head was hiding on my little shoulder as tears leaked out of her eyes. But none the less wiped her face quickly and stood up smiling down at me brightly. She extended her hand and pulled me to my feet. All joking aside she hugged me and said so only I could here, "I'm glad your okay." Then she added more loudly as she pulled back. "These idiots weren't giving me any information. I had to resort to charming them out of the teachers. Something only you and your friends would do Zee. I was so ashamed to stoop to that." She said hanging her head. I barked out a laugh and said "Oh Lily Flower, I'm shocked! You charming answers out of teachers, pity I was unconscious I would have paid a hundred galleons to see that! But all joking aside my dear, I'm must be going. My idiots as you call them and I have some things we have to attend to."

She gave me a knowing glance. "Xeomara Elizabeth. You're not off planning pranks already are you?" she demanded. "Honestly just like Potter, you are. Why am I friends with you again?" she added on.

"Because you love me and I make your life more interesting that's why flower. Well I'm off see you later, we'll catch up. Come on boys!" With that I headed out of the portrait the boys following my lead.

"Honestly, Evan is mental!" James was spitting out angrily.

"Oh Jamsie boy, don't be discouraged she'll come around soon." Sirius said laughing. James sent a glare his way and I joined in on his laughter.

When we reached outside the sun was leaving and it was quickly get darker. "oh, what time is it?"

"About hmm" Remus looked down at his watch "7:30. Which means were supposed to be inside in a half hour." I gave him a look. "I guess your right never followed the rules before why start now." Peter laughed. We reached a clearing in the middle of the forest and stopped.

"Okay" James said "Try and focus really really hard on your animal."

"Be quiet would you. You act as if I'm trying for the first time." I imagined myself as the tiger, the orange and white of my skin, with the black stripes across my body. Huge paw and big ears. I imagined the way the forest would smell and the way it would feel against my paws. I felt my body lurch forward and fall but before I hit my face my paws caught me. I grinned widely, my paws! I did it! James and Sirius immediately started laughing. Hmm lets shut them up. I laughed to myself as I thought of what I was going to do next. I took a step towards them and let out a huge roar. They both jumped back and I heard Remus's loud laughter fill my ears. Then everyone else joined in. I ran at James and knocked him on the ground. We began wrestling playful and I was licking his face. He was laughing hard but the next think I knew I felt an antler poking into my side. I was now wrestling with a stag. Both of us laughing in our animal forms were rolling all over the ground. Out of nowhere a black dog got in the mix. We continued on for god knows how long. Remus and Peter were laughing hysterically and Peter was saying something about why are we friends with them.

Then as if on some unspoken agreement we changed back, Still laughing. The sound of our laughs bounced off the trees and echoed through the forest. I was laying with my head on James's stomach and Sirius had his head in my lap. Pete and Remmie joined us laying down on either side of us. None of us moved for the longest time. Watching the sun fully go down. I looked up at the almost full moon and smiled softly.

"You know, tomorrows the full moon."

"NO!" James and Sirius yelled together still not moving from where they were laying.

"what, what is wrong you two?"

"You just got out of the hospital wing, your still weak you are not going." James answered.

"I am too going James! I've been waiting for this since we came up with idea in our second year! I'm not about to let what my idiot parents did to me stop me from doing something that I want to do. Got it?"

"What if something happens huh?" Sirius said.

"Nothing will happen, I can take care of myself. I'll be fine. And if something does happen. Well I've got you guys don't I?

"Yeah" James said his voice softening. "Yeah, you do.


	6. First day back

I Own nothing but Xeomara.

Chapter Six- First day back.

I woke up sometime later to whispering and also finding myself cradled in Moony's arms. "Oi! Let me down!" I said. Remus looked at me, laughed and set me down on my feet. It was then I noticed that we were almost at the castle.

"You fell asleep and we didn't want to wake up." Remus informed me.

I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and muttered something that I'm not even sure myself what I said, but it sure sounded like French. oh French that's right. I wonder if Sirius's family spoke French. He never mentioned it. I realized I was rambling in my head when I heard, "Sorry? Come again?" Sirius asked.

"To be truthful, even I don't know what I said." James just laughed. Once we reached the castle doors they stopped. "What?" I asked.

"Oh urm, we have something to do right Padfoot?"

"Yeah, Remus and Pete will walk up with you." He said.

Curiosity finally got the better of me, "Vous deux meilleur n'est pas de pranking sans moi, Sirius Black!"(You two had better not be pranking without me.) I said in French.

To say they all looked startled was an understatement. "Vous parlez du français?"(you speak French?) Sirius finally asked. Now the boys were looking back and forth between Sirius and I.

"Oui." I said simply. Then added "I was always curious to see if you could speak French as well, it seems like most families like our own did and I wondered if you knew it too. But of course I couldn't just come out and ask seeing as you didn't know about my family."

"Okay" interrupted James "Now that we established you both speak French can we please get on with what we had to do. Rem walk her to the common room."

"James! Je ne suis pas bébé. Je n'ai pas besoin d'une escorte!" James stared at Sirius waiting for translation.

"She said, I'm not a baby, I do not need an escort."

"Oh just be quiet and go will you, I'll see you tomorrow morning. Night."

"Yeah, Yeah good night you two, but remember if you plan a prank without me there will be some serious hell to pay!"

Rem, Pete and I made our way to the common room in silence. Something was going on. I guess I deserved to be kept out of the secret seeing as I did the same to them for five years.

"Remmie?" He looked at with a soft expression on his face. "I um was wondering…do you think I should tell Lily?" He looked like he was pondering this he didn't answer for a few minutes.

"I can't tell you who to tell and who not to tell, but she's your friend too is she not? It might be hard for her to understand and she might treat you a little differently at first but to be truthful, I believe you should tell her. Maybe not everything but start off with the little things. Maybe just say how your parents aren't too fond of you being in Gryffindor. It's the truth, just not the whole truth."

"Your right, I don't think I'm ready to tell her the whole truth. Not just yet."

I gave each of them a hug and kiss on the cheek. "Good night boys." And with that I walked up the staircase and entered the dorm. Lily was sitting on her bed reading a book and everyone else was sleeping. I looked at the clock next to her bed and realized it was 12:00. She looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back and walked over to my bed and began to change. I sat on my bed and motioned for her to come over. She walked over quietly. When she sat down I pulled the curtains closed, pointed my wand at it and said "silencio!"

"Hey! Where were you guys at?" she asked no longer having to be quiet.

"We walked around the ground for a little bit. And I guess we all fell asleep." She laughed at that and said "Yeah sounds like you guys. You all love to be outside."

"Lily?" she looked at me. "Why do you hate James?" She opened her mouth to answer when I said "No just listen, you like me, you like Sirius, Remus and Peter. I'm just like James, Everyone say it, so is Sirius. Everyone said we could be triplets. And Remus and Peter are no angels. Why James?" She thought about it for a second as if wondering whether or not to tell me the truth.

Finally she said "I blame him! I blame him for the reason I'm not friends with Severus anymore. He hated Potter, Hated him! That's the only reason he called me a mudblood! He never called me that before and I know he didn't mean to. It doesn't mean I'm ever going to forgive him for it because I won't but Potter, he made him like that!" I looked at her surprised. So that's why. I thought back to the end of the previous year. Sitting by the lake with James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. And them both complaining about being bored along with myself. While Remus studied and so did Peter. I remember James hexing him and Sirius too. I just sat there not reading over Remus's shoulder. Though I remember getting involved when he hit James with one of those revolting dark spells. Then Lily came over and got us to stop and that when he said it. Right in front of everyone. He called Lily a mudblood. I never remember being that mad in my life. After she left I then stunned him. He was out cold for 30 minutes.

"Lily. That is no reason to hate him. And besides we all know you hated him before."

"No that's not true. I didn't hate him, I just thought he was arrogant."

"That's because he is. So am I. So is Remus, and Peter and Sirius. But you never disliked us. You got over hating Sirius in the middle of first year. You always liked Remus and Peter. And we started talking in second year. I think it's time to forgive James, Lils." I said softly.

"I can't. I just can't. I'm not ready yet. Maybe someday but I just can't right now." She didn't say anything else. So I decided now was the perfect time to tell her. Not the whole truth but some.

"Lily, I have something to tell you." Not waiting for her to speak, I proceeded to tell her about how my family are decedents from Rowena and Godric and all about how no one in my family has ever been in Gryffindor but me. I told her that my parents hate me and resent me thinking I am a disgrace. I told her how my parents could be qualified as dark wizards seeing as they support Voldemort. I noticed she didn't gasp at the name like other wizards do. I left out how they beat me and or starved me now just wasn't the time, I could feel it.

"So, your family, the support Voldemort?" She asked after a few minutes of being silent. I was equally surprised the she said his name. I didn't comment on it though.

"Yeah but I was never like them! I always always wanted to be with James in Gryffindor. And besides I never really knew the full truth about them to I was sorted in this house." We continued talking until we both fell asleep.

-James POV-

After we left Zee, Sirius and I walked on to Dumbledore's office. Even though it was later I'm sure he wouldn't mind. I needed to talk my mum and dad.

"Sirius, why did Zee say that families like you and hers speak French?"

He looked at me for a moment before saying "Because they think they're better than everyone else and think it makes the different. I know its stupid but I was taught French my whole life growing up and I'm assuming she was too. Don't you find it weird that we never noticed that anything was wrong?" I did notice and I was ashamed, how could I not realize my best friend in the world, someone I call my sister, was in that predicament and I never knew.

I hung my head a little and said "I can't believe I didn't know, how could I not? If knew I would have-" he cut me off.

"Would have what? She wouldn't have asked for our help. You know that as well as I do." We then reached the gargoyles out in front of his office and started listing off every candy we knew. It finally open when I said "licorice wand."

We walked up to the stone stairs and knocked on the door. We heard a faint "Come in" I opened the door and Sirius followed me in. ", ? You realize the time don't you?"

"Oh yes, yes sir but I need to ask you a favor. I was wondering if I could use your fire place to speak to my parents its urgent."

"Urgent? Would this have anything to do with asking if Miss. Xeomara could live with you?" How did he know? Of course that is what I wanted. I wasn't going to leave her there. Me and the boys talked it over. Remus said that she could stay at his house but I wasn't having that. I told her my parents thought of her as a second child and she was coming back with me and Sirius, she wasn't leaving my sight. I didn't want to tell her until later though. I didn't want to keep bringing up what happened to her and Sirius didn't either. He said "I just want her to be happy James."

"Yes sir, Me and James and the other boys discussed and we can't leave her there. We knew James parents would take her in seeing as they love her probably more than they love James." Sirius joked. Dumbledore chuckled at this.

"Well then go ahead." With that being said me and Sirius walked over to the fire place and stuck our heads in. "Potter Manor, James and Jane's Bedroom!" we shouted together.

"Mum? Dad?" I said loudly. I heard rustling and then saw my their shocked faces in front of mine."

"James? Sirius? Is everything alright?" My mother asked.

"Well yes and no mum. We're okay but Zee-"

"What is wrong with her?!" mum asked sharply.

"Her parents, Jane. I'm afraid to say are just like mine. They- they oh she'll hate us for telling you, but they beat her up pretty badly and well they used an unforgivable curse on her." Sirius stuttered out.

"Mum, she was out cold for two whole days after we got her here. Starved and shaking with a really high fever. Why have to get her out of there. We already talked to Crouch but he can't arrest them because she faught back and well he is so high up in the ministry."

"Christmas holiday James. Me, you, Sirius, and Maurie are going to get her things and she's living with us. I'll have your mother set up the room next to yours and Sirius's. Now off to bed both of you. I'm sure you have classes early tomorrow. Good night." And they were gone. We stepped out and looked at Dumbledore. He eyes twinkling again.

"Xeomara is very lucky to have you both. Good night boys."

When we got to our dorm, Remus and Peter were already asleep. Without saying anything we both climbed into our bed. I was out the second my head it the pillow.

-Xeomara's POV-

We must have fallen asleep talking, because the next thing I knew it was morning. I removed the spell and undid my curtains, quietly moving to the showers so I wouldn't wake her up. After showering, I quickly wand dried my hair, making it fall in its natural curls to my waist. I didn't mess around with makeup just a little mascara. After getting dress not bothering to wear the cloke just my skirt, button up and vest I woke up Lily. Without saying anything to me, she got up and started to get ready. When she was finished she commented on the fact that my clothes were starting to look to big on me and that I needed to eat some food. I told her to sod off and we walked downstairs and found my boys waiting for me on the couch.

"Hey Zee!" They yelled. When they saw Lily behind me Remus, Sirius and Pete said hey to her as well. While James just nodded his head and said "Evans." I sighed and Lily walked away from me and them and left for the great hall.

"I don't understand why you can't just call her by her name." I shook my head muttering "it just makes no sense." Sirius barked out a laugh when I said this and James shot me a death glare. I swung my hairs around his waist and said "Oh Jamesie, don't get angry with me!" He laughed and ruffled my hair. "HEY" I protested.

We were almost at the great hall when I heard and smooth voice behind me say "Ah, the famous Marauders finally making and appearance." I turned around and saw Tim Johnson, a seventh year Hufflepuff standing behind me. He was tall, with dirty blonde hair that fell into his chocolate brown eyes. Nice build and had a killer smile. He was gorgeous.

I smiled at him and said suggestively. "Well you know us, we like to keep people waiting." I winked at him and he smiled back brightly. I heard James scuff and Remus muttering something that sounded like bloody prick. He walked towards me and I reached out and brushed the hair out of his eyes.

"I heard you were sick, are you quite better?"

"I feel even better now." I replied, flirting with him. Peter than joined in on Remus's muttering.

"Well how about you go with me to Hogsmeade trip next Saturday?" He said, his voice wavering a little bit. Ha, I made him nervous. I smiled even wider and leaned in closer to him.

"I would love to" I breathed. I took a step back and said "See you later." I started walking into the great hall with James and Sirius on either side of me. I noticed that Tim still hadn't moved from the spot where we just finished talking and I laughed. When we sat down, James turned to me "Tim Johnson? Why that bloody prick?"

"Because he's gorgeous. Didn't you see that? I had him, hook, line and sinker."

"That you did, love. But it doesn't mean that we still won't question him before your date." Sirius said.

"Oh joy." I sulked. "Jeeze, I'm a big girl I can take care of myself."

"Big you say?" Peter joked.

"Oh shut it will you. You guys nothings going to happen. You act as if I'm going to shag him on the first date. Snog him probably, Shag him? No." James looked murderous. I looked down and was getting ready to grab some food when a hand placed a plate in front of my piled with waffles and bacon. I looked up ready to tell them that I was perfectly capable to get my own food, when a hand tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned and saw another cute boy with red hair standing behind me. I raised an eye brow at him. "Oh, um Xeomara? My friend told me that he asked you out and you said yes and well I didn't believe him, so he told me to come over here and ask her for yourself and well I was wondering if you told Tim you'd go out with him because-" he rambled on nervously. I smiled at him and he stopped.

"Of course I said yes. And what is your name again?" I asked politely.

"Mark, Mark Stevens."

"Oh, well is that all you wanted then" I asked after he stared at me for twenty seconds.

"Oh um- uh" Remus interpreted. "You can go now." He said a little rudely.

"Remus! Oh sorry you'll have to excuse him. Well just tell Tim I'll talk to him later, will you?" He nodded and walked away. I rounded on Remus and was getting ready to make a comment, when I remembered today was the full moon and he looked terrible. His eyes were blood shot, his hands were shaking and he had bags underneath his eyes. "Remus, why don't you go to the hospital wing. You look more tired than usual."

"No." He said sternly. "This is our first day back. We have Charms and Transfiguration. I'm going."

The day went by quickly. The work we did was a lot of review from last year so naturally it was a breeze. The next thing we knew we were sitting back in the common room waiting for the adventure tonight. I sat by Remus as I always did before they left but this time I was going with them. I had my hand wrapped around his shaking one. Sirius was on his other side keeping his body in a sitting position.

"You know Zee, Tonight will be rough. He's not used to having you there like he is with us." James said.

"I know. But its okay. We'll get through it." We started making our way to the portrait hole to go into the shrieking shack but Lily came down right at that moment and saw us. Sirius and James were supporting Remus so he didn't fall over. Peter was in the front and I was behind him with my little hands on his back.

"Zee?" I turned around and saw Lily. "Damn." Sirius muttered under his breath.

"Oh hey Lils, listen don't wait up for me. I'm sleeping in the boys dorm tonight."

She looked at me with her eyes brows raised. "Is Remus okay?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine. Just a little tired. He doesn't want to come with us but we made him" I said smiling.

"Oh well, okay just don't get into any trouble." She turned on her heel and walked back upstairs."

I let out a deep breath I didn't know I was holding.

"It's almost time. Let's go."


	7. Full Moon

I Only own the oc's.

Chapter Seven- Full Moon.

We Walked Remus outside and into the shack. The moon wasn't up yet but it would be soon. He was shaking even worse than before. Seeing him in this much pain was killing me. I've never seen this before and I wondered how the boys handled it their first time. I sat him on the bed and everyone else backed up and transformed and looked at my curiously when I didn't.

"Not yet." I told them. I sat down next to Remus on the bed pulling him to me and wrapping my little arms around his shaking body. If he was confused why I didn't change he didn't say anything. He continued to shake and shake until finally then moon light hit the window. We both stood up quickly. The convulsions grew worse and I could feel the shifting taking place but still I didn't change I wanted to be there for him as a human while he changed. He was screaming out in pain and his body was lengthening and his back was hunching forward. He was screaming at me calling me crazy and telling me to transform. Prongs stepped forward pushing on my back. But still I didn't let go. The transformation was long and painful and finally his screams started turning into howls. I looked up and saw that I had my arms wrapped around not Remus, but Moony.

Padfoot was whining and barking tell me to move but I couldn't not yet. I stepped back and looked at him. His body was taller and hunched over slightly his claws were long and sharp and his muzzle was short and square. I then looked into his eyes and saw Remus's amber eyes looking back at me. "Remus." I said sadly and then I allowed myself to transform. I wasn't scared. Not in the least, I thought maybe if I saw him then I would be or maybe I would be disgusted but I wasn't. All I felt was sadness. Remus was such a great friend. My family. He didn't deserve these painful transformations. I once told him that I wish I could be a werewolf for him so he didn't have to go through that and watching him actually changing in front of my eyes didn't change that. I wanted more than anything to be able to do that for him. I walked into the corner of the room and laid down. Head on my paws watching Moony. Wormtail came was on Prongs' shoulders and Padfoot was watching me. Trying to see how I was reacting. Moony was clawing at the walls and the bed but was other wise pretty calm. Which surprised me. I began thinking back to the night were I found out he was a werewolf.

_I sighed and laid down on my bed. I was counting the weeks with my calendar, I looked up and saw that I had another month before I could go back to school. I then found myself thinking of my friends and all the pranks we got up to in our first year. I laughed to myself thinking of the fun detentions. I then found myself thinking yet again about Remus. Something isn't right. Something was telling me that he didn't go and visit his sick mother every month but I couldn't put my finger on why. I remember when he told us his mother was sick. What am I missing? I sighed again and reached over to my end table to pick up the book I was reading. Magical beasts and were to find them. Okay so my library is a little limited in the books we have. I open up to page 240 and my eyes went wide. Werewovles. My thoughts immediately went back to Remus but I shook my head and started to read. While reading the sign of how to spot of werewolf my mind kept traveling back to Remmie and I didn't know why. I continued reading on and then suddenly I understood. Remus is a werewolf. That is the only solution. He leaves every month of the full moon. He is always shaky and pale. It has to be it. I didn't feel any fear or any revulsion. I felt immediate sadness. Why Remus? He was such a great person, a good friend. I knew Remus, I knew he wasn't dangerous. It didn't matter that he was a werewolf he was my friend and always would be. I didn't want to be ask him in a letter, I didn't know if my parents would intercept it than I'd really be in for it. "Associating with mudbloods, and half bloods and now half breeds you disgust me Xeomara" is what she would say. I closed the book suddenly to tired to read, closed my eyes and fell asleep._

I looked again at Moony he was now rolling around with James on the floor playfully. And Sirius was barking loudly and I assumed he was laughing. I then thought about when he confirmed what I already knew.

_The full moon is today I told myself. I knew today was the day I was going to finally demand that Remus tell us. I didn't tell James, Sirius, or Peter that I knew. I didn't even tell Remus. School just started three days ago and I was bursting to tell them. I didn't understand why Remus wouldn't tell us. Did he honestly think we desert him? I was sure none of us would. How could he assume that we would. It was almost eight now. I walked out of my dorm and made my was to the boys'. I pushed the door open hard and they stared at my wondering why I was angry. I didn't speak yet and they went on talking. I sat down next to Remus and took his hand in mine. It was normal for me to hold hands with them. I did it all the time so no one questioned me. I broke into the conversation and said "Rem, you going to visit your mum tonight?" He looked nervous for a second._

"_Yeah, McGonagall is coming to get me soon."_

"_Liar." I said softly. If Remus looked nervous then he looked it even more now._

"_ZEE!" James screeched._

_I didn't answer him, I turned to Remus and my blue eyes met his amber eyes. I stared at him pleadingly. I gripped his shaking hands tighter. "Tell them. Tell the Remus. They can handle it."_

"_You- You know?" he asked hesitantly. _

_I nodded, he looked grim. "Tell them" I repeated._

"_Rem? What is she talking about?" Sirius asked._

_He looked at me and I gave his hand a squeeze to let him know I was here and wasn't going anywhere. He gave me a shaky smile and nodded. "I don't visit my mum every month." He started, "my mum isn't even sick."_

"_But what-"_

"_Listen." He said forcefully. They fell silent. "After I tell you this, I except that you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore. And I understand, a lot of people don't. So before I tell you, I want to say thanks. I've never had real friends before and now I know what it feels like." He eyes started to water and tears poured down his cheeks. and for the first time in years I felt tears running down my own cheeks and falling onto our hands. Remus looked up at me and lifted his other hands to wipe some tears off my face but they just kept coming. The boys knew something was wrong. They knew I never cried and to see both me and Remus crying at the same time they knew it wasn't good. "I'm you see, I'm a werewolf." I studied each of their faces separately. James had a look of shock on his face, Sirius's face was angry and Peter simply stared not knowing what to do._

"_Excuse me, you're a what exactly?" Sirius asked angrily. I ripped my hands away from his, stood up and pulled out my wand so fast and before they even blinked I had it pointed at Sirius's chest._

"_You better think again before talking Black. All of you had better think before speaking, especially in front of me if you don't want to get hexed. Remus is still a person. Yeah so what he's a werewolf big deal! We've known him for a whole year and he's never done one thing to harm us. So how dare you all stare at him like that! You make me sick and if ever tell a single soul about this you'll have to answer to me. I can't believe you. I excepted better from all of you, I though you could handle this. I guess I was wrong." They stared back at me but didn't say anything. I sighed held my hand out to Remus and said softly "Come on Remus." He took my hand and we started walking towards the door when I heard "Wait!" I turned around and saw Sirius's wand pointed at me._

"_How dare you assume that! I would never ever degrade him for that! Don't you know me at all! How could you even think that! I was in shock. I don't care what Remus is either. He could have three eyes and webbed feet and I wouldn't care. He is my friend and he was there for me when I needed him and why should I not be there for him. It isn't his fault. Its something that probably happened to him. How could I hate him?" Just as he finished that last sentence I dropped Rem's hand and ran to Sirius and through my arms around his neck in a huge hug._

"_Thank you for understand him." I murmured into his chest, crying. Crying hard. I felt tears dripping into my own hair and looked up to see Sirius also crying. I backed up a little and watched as James got up and walked over to a crying Remus. He stopped right before he reached him and said "I don't care what you are. Your one of my best mates Remus. I just wish you would have told us." He hugged Rem like a brother and when he pulled back he looked at me and saw that he was also crying. I then heard loud sniffling. Sirius and I whipped are head around and saw Peter sobbing into his hands. "I'm soo sorry Remus." He sobbed. I sat down next to Sirius on his bed crying into his shoulder. We all just sat there and cried until McGonagall came running up the stairs. She saw all and stopped whatever if was she was about to say. Then opened her mouth to say something else._

"_You know." I looked up from Sirius chest and nodded. "Oh well, I will discuss this with you all later as will the Headmaster. Come on , It's nearly time." With that she escorted Remus out and we sat awake all night starring at the moon waiting for Remus to come back to us._

I shook my head quickly, shaking off my thoughts and looked up to see Pads staring at me. I shook my head again letting him now I was alright and got up and walked over to him. Moony not really knowing I was there the whole time started to get wound up. Prongs noticed and looked at me telling me to get ready. I nodded back. At first it was fine, Moony just stared as Prongs and Padfoot started wrestling around. I watched as Moony made a step forward and knew he wasn't going to them to play around. I quickly ran up and stepped in front of Prongs shocked face just as Moony's claws came down on me. They ran from my top lip going diagonal to my shoulder. I whimpered and then pushed him back hard with my front paws. I heard Sirius growl and I whipped myself around giving him a warning growl to back off. I was already hurt, why risk anyone else getting hurt to. When I was turned around I felt Moony's claw come down again running down the middle of my whole back. I faced him again and began pushing him. Forgetting all my pain and forgetting all about the blood dripping all down the floor. I then bit his shoulder in warning as he raised his claws again. He back up a little whining in pain. Then with one good push he flew back into the wall and hit his head hard. I Heard something crack and he fell to the floor unconscious.

When I knew it was over I laid down right where I stood. Hiding my bleeding face in my paws wanted nothing more to just fall asleep. I felt something poking my in the side and looked to see Prongs standing there prodding me awake. I knew I couldn't sleep it wasn't good with these kind of injuries besides I needed to be awake incase Moony woke up. Prongs laid down next to me as Padfoot whining softly laid down on my other side. Be careful not to touch my back or face. I felt wormtail crawl up under my paws and rest in the crook of my elbow. We stayed like that until the full moon was over and the sun started to come up. Once the light hit my face I transformed back into a human. And I'm guessing they did too because I heard James frantic voice "Sirius, Wormtail go get lift up Remus Now! I got Maurie." I felt someone lifting me up off the ground and hissed in pain as the hands touched my back. "Sorry, Stay awake Zee,were going to the hospital wing."

"Remus, is he alright?" I croaked out. It hurt to talk .

"He's fine still unconscious from the hit on the head. He'll be alright." I was so scared for him. I was even more nervous for when he'd wake up, I knew he hated hurting his friends and I didn't want him to feel guilty for hurting me because that wasn't Remus. It was a werewolf. Not Remus. Soon enough I heard Madam Pomfrey voice as she was demanding them to lay us down on the beds. Barking out orders.

"Sirius, got into the closet and get me a bottle that has red writing and with brown liquid inside. James Go get the tube of lotion that says fast scars on it." She yelled. I heard moaning and assumed it was Moony but I found out it was me when Peter said "It's alright Zee, you'll be okay." Laying on my back was killing me and I wanted to scream out in pain but I didn't want them to worry so I laid there waiting for something. Anything.

"Sirius, open mouth and give him the potion. And then he'll be fine. James hurry up!" I heard running and then heard James hand Madam the tube. I felt her hands ripping open my robes revealing the claw marks that went down to my shoulder. I then opened my eyes and saw her running her wand up and down and muttering under her breath. "Okay, the bleeding has stopped. Listen for I am going to explain something to you right now while I rub this on you okay. It's going to sting and hurt but it's the best I can do. I'm not going to ask what happened and why but I know these are werewolf claw marks. And Miss Raes I don't want to tell you this but I can't heal werewolf claw marks. Not even the healers at can. Werewolves are magical creatures. Surely you know that."

"So wait what does that mean?" Sirius asked.

"She will have scars . The four claw marks on her face will turn into a raised scare. It won't ever heal." I felt her rubbing the lotion along my face and shoulder. Then I felt someone turn me over and heard the ripping of the rest of my shirt. As she stopped the bleeding and started to rub the lotion on. A scar? On my face? Forever? Thinking about it I know I would have done it again. If I didn't jump in front of it this would have been James and I would rather have the scars and have people stare at me for the rest of my life than have that happen to James. "The gashes will turn into scars by the time eight o'clock comes around. You make take her to her dorm now. Such a pity, she had such a beautiful face." She said softly.

"Excuse me? Are you saying that she won't be pretty now just because she has scars because-" James was cut of by Sirius. "Let's just get her out of here." I rolled over onto my back and started to sit up. James grabbed me under the arms and lifting me up so I was standing next to him.

"Zee, I'm so sorry." I heard Remus say. How long had he been awake? I tore myself from James' grip and walked shakily to Remus.

I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "Don't apologize you hear me? It wasn't you Remus. It wasn't you. You have nothing to be sorry for." I reached out and wiped the tears of off his face. "I'll see you tomorrow Moony." James grabbed me and supported me out of the hospital wing. I could feel my feet start to drag so he picked me up in his arms like a child and carried me the rest of the way. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up as he was putting me in bed.

"Thanks" I whispered. I didn't here is reply. I was already sleeping.

I woke up the next morning to Lily screaming my name and demanding that I get ready for lunch. "it's 12!" She screamed. "Wake up!" I sat up and half excepted her to be in here but I'm guessing she was screaming from the common room.

"Evans! Shut up! She'll be down in two minutes." I heard James yell. I got up sleeply and walked into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and screamed. How could I have forgotten. I heard running and James, Sirius and Peter were at my side in seconds. I stared at the right side of my face, where there were four long scars starting at the corner of my top lip going diagonal to my shoulder. The scars were raised and slightly tinted pink like usual scars. I looked hideous.

"Maurie, what's wrong?" James asked.

"My- My face! Oh merlin I can't go down there." I stammered.

"Think of how that will make Moony feel Zee." Sirius said.

Of course he was right. "Your right I have to go out there. Listen I'm don't want Lily to see yet so I'm going to run up to dormitory and get changed and I'll explain to her when I get back down. Just stand with her okay?"

"But what are you going to say?"

"Leave it to me." I ran down the stairs my head down, hair in my face. "Lils, I'll be right down. I brushed my hair quickly and got dressed in my robes. And bounded down the stairs to where Lily, Sirius, James, and Peter were standing. As I walked closer Lily said alarmed, "Zee, what happened?!"

"Lily, calm down."

"No I will not calm down! What in the name of merlin happened to your face!" I was thanking my lucky stars that the common room was empty. I told Lily that last night we snuck out into the forest and that a werewolf was about to claw James and how I jumped in front of him so he wouldn't get hurt. Then I told her I turned around to tell them to go get Professor Dumbledore when he clawed my back and that Remus was thrown against a tree and that's why he's not here.

When I finished my stories the boys looked shock at my perfectly made up story. "I cannot believe you five! Running off into the forest at night! There is a reason why it's forbidden you know, because something like this could happen! Oh, Zee, your face your pretty face" Lily finished sadly.

"Are you implying Evans that Xeomara look's ugly now?" James asked coldly.

"No, I would never-"

James cut her off "Well it sure sounds like it to me. Because let me tell you something Evans, Xeomara is still beautiful and those scars on her face show how much bravery she has, something you'll never have. So I suggest you keep your damned mouth shut!" With that he turned and stalked out of the common room down the great hall. I was shocked, James never yelled at Lily. Sure they argued but it was more on Lily's part than on James. Lily seemed to be thinking along the same lines because he eyes filled with tears.

"Zee, I would never, I didn't mean-"

"It's alright" I told her. "I know."

"Don't worry about James, flower he's just upset that it happened to her, when he should have been the one with the scars." Sirius said. Did James really think that? He has no right to feel guilty I did it of my own free will.

"Come on, let's go" When we reached the entrance to the hall Lily continued on but I stopped. I couldn't do it. Everyone was going to stare, talk about me.

"Zee, you can do this. I'm right here." Sirius said. I nodded and we set off. Peter and Sirius at my side. Everyone looked in as we entered like they always did. It felt like the longest walk in my life. My head down, hair in my face. I could hear the whispers. "Look at her face" many said while others said "I can't believe it, that poor girl she was so pretty. While other simply said it looked disgusting. "head up" Sirius whispered in my ear, "Your still a marauder." After he said that I thought you know what you're right. I ** am **a marauder. I lifted my head and shook my hair out of my face. And walked to where James was sitting.

When I sat down I through my arms around him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't feel bad, because I don't." I watched as Lily walked away from her friends and took a seat next to James. James and I stared at her while I heard Sirius say "No way."

"James? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to upset you this morning, I should have thought before I said anything. I was being stupid." She called him James?! I couldn't believe it. I think James was in shock. I elbowed him in the ribs and he jumped up.

"No, I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled like that, it was my fault I took it the wrong way. Thanks for apologizing." He stopped and added on "Lily." I smiled brightly as I watched the two talk.

"Look at them." I said quietly to Peter, and Sirius. They both had smiles on their faces.

"I see them, love. Maybe she'll finally realize that they were meant for eachother." Sirius said still smiling.

"I hope so" Peter said.

"Xeomara!" I heard someone say from behind me and saw Tim walking over.

"Oh no." I groaned. "Want me to make him leave" Sirius asked.

"No, its okay."

"Xeomara, are you okay? What happened."

"Hullo Tim. Just a fun time gone bad is all. I'm okay." I said sweetly.

"Good, were still on for next Saturday right?" he asked.

"Of course."

"Well good, see you around." I couldn't believe it! He still wanted to go out with me!

"Zee, you're going out with Tim next week? You are so lucky! Why didn't you tell me? When did you manage that?" Lily asked.

"You should have seen her flower, he came up yesterday and she puts it, she had him hook, line and sinker." Sirius told her. Lily laughed at that, as did everyone else.

"Always the charmer, huh Zee?" Lily asked.

"Always." I agreed.


	8. Amortentia

I own Nothing But Xeomara.

Chapter Eight-Amortentia

Throughout the rest of Saturday and Sunday Remus did nothing but apologize to me. I even got quite angry with him for apologizing so much that I spent almost all of Sunday with Lily instead of the boys. I woke up on Monday morning by Lily screaming in my ear threatening to pour water on my head if I didn't get up. I drug my feet and didn't say anything all morning as I got ready. When I walked into the common room half asleep I heard "Hey Zee!" from Sirius. When I only grunted in reply he asked Lily what was wrong with me.

"I except she's tired. I nearly had to pour water on her today to wake her up. She had a tough first week back if I don't say so myself. But it's not as though she wakes up well on a normal day either. Not exactly a morning person." Sirius just laughed and ran over to me picking me up and spinning.

"Sirius! Put me down now!" I demanded. He just laughed again as he set me on my feet. Lily was still laughing at the look on my face.

"Knew that would wake you. Come on Stripes, Prongs, Moony and Wormtail are waiting for us downstairs. They said you were taking too long so I stayed back to wait for you."

"Ha! Yeah right, you probably woke up late yourself!" Lily said laughing. We both glared at her.

"Alright enough making joking on our expense just because-"

"You're a morning person and we're not." Sirius finished. She stared at us like we had two head while we burst out laughing.

"You two are strange. Let's go" We looked at each other, shrugged and followed Lily to the great hall. When we got there and sat down I was surprised to see Lily sitting with us next to James. I looked across the table to Remus and smiled apologetically for walking out on him yesterday. He laughed and smiled back.

"Do you see them? This is the third day in the row that they sat next to each other talking!" I said to him. Sirius heard this and laughed.

"I know I'm still in shock, our flower, talking to our prongs. How sweet." We all started laughing hysterically. While James and Lily had no idea what we were laughing about.

"What's so funny?" James asked. "Oh hey Zee, good to see your finally up"

"N-nothing." I said still laughing.

"Uh,okay?" I grabbed a bagel with cream cheese and started eating. We ate in silence for a moment until I looked down at my schedule.

"YES!" I said loudly. People at our table looked at me because of my sudden outburst.

"Uh what is it?" Peter asked.

"We have potions and defense today!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, what so great about it. I know for a fact even though your good at it, you still think potions is somewhat boring." Sirius said.

"You didn't let me finish. I was just getting ready to add that we have both lesson with the Slytherins!" The boys looked at me with evil identical smiles matching my own.

Lily sighed and said "Oh no!" I laughed and said "Don't worry flower, will entertain you!"

"That's not what I was worried about." She sighed again.

"If you're worried about old snivelly. Don't worry I'll handle him" I said confidently.

"No I'm not worried about him! I'm worried about you starting trouble on your second day of lessons!"

"Lighten up Lils, Zee hasn't pranked any one yet. I think she needs this." Remus backed me up.

"Well said Moony!" I said saluting him. Everyone laughed and Lily rolled her bright green eyes.

"Well come on! I don't want to be late!" Sirius groaned and I grabbed his arm and pulled him up.

"Your quite strong for a little person you know."

"Bite me Padfoot."

"No that's Moony's job!" We all cracked up at this except Lily who didn't understand.

We all made are way to the dungeons. When I walked in there were only a few Slytherins here, and no Gryffindors. I started walking to a table where I smelled the most delicious thing I've ever smelled. I sat down and James and Sirius took the other seat. On the table was a potion with a distinctive mother of pearl sheen. Hmm looks familiar I thought. Lily Remus and Peter sat at the table next to us, I looked into the cauldron and smiled as I saw the thick bubbling liquid known as Poly Juice Potion. Professor Slughorn who just walked in the room spotted us and walked over. Sirius and James groaned, while I smiled.

"Good morning, sir!" I said brightly.

"Well, well,well. Raes, feeling better I hope? And I heard what happened in the forest. Brave little girl aren't you?"

"I'm feeling quite good sir. I wouldn't call it bravery. I would simply call it being there for a friend."

"Well reasoned Miss, very well reasoned! I saved these potions for when you and your four friends returned to class. I couldn't show them without some of my best potion makers here, now could I?" he said loudly. Snape snorted. Ah snape was here. Excellent.

"Of course you couldn't sir. I would never forgive you." I said sweetly.

"Ah, quite the little charmer aren't you." He said. I just laughed.

"Alright well, now that I see you're all here. They are four cauldrons of potions on four different tables-"I sniffed the air again.

"Do you guys smell that?" I said quietly so just James and Sirius could here.

"Yeah it smells so bloody good!" Sirius said back. James nodded.

"Can anyone tell me what that potion is over there" Slughorn said pointing to the potion of Lestranges' Table. Lily's hand immediately shot into the air.

"Yes Miss Evans?"

"It's Veritaserum, a colorless, odorless potion that forces the drinker to tell the truth!"

"Very good Miss Evan. Now this one here" he said pointing to the cauldron on Lily's Table. My hand beat Lily's in the air.

"Ah, Miss Raes?"

"It's Poly Juice Potion, a slow bubbling, mudlike potion that changes its flavor and color when a human hair is added. It changes the drinker into the person who's hair matches the one in the potion. It only last for up to an hour!"

Slughorn laughed "Seem to have quite a bit of experience with this one don't we?" I smiled innocently while James, Sirius, Remus and Peter started laughing.

"Moving on, Moving on. Can anyone tell me what this potion is?" Lily's hand flew in the air again.

"It's Amortentia Sir! I recognized it mother of pearl-" I stopped listening. I knew what Amortentia was. Love Potion. The smell represent what each person is attracted too.

"Hmm, well I guess we weren't smelling the same thing then eh? I said.

"Guess not." They said in unison.

"Well since you three like to talk so much, you can be first to share what you smell. Xeomara if you'd start us off."

I sniffed the air trying to smell out each scent. "I smell the wind as if you were riding on a broomstick, Lake water, Some sort of cologne, grass and a woodsy scent."

James started right after me, "I smell strawberry shampoo, fresh parchment, books, and some sort of floral scent." I smiled widely. He smelled Lily! It was all there, book parchment, her strawberry shampoo and she wears this floral perfume stuff!

"?"

"Um, a woodsy scent, peaches hmm or maybe not maybe it's a peach shampoo I don't know, lake water, grass, the smell when you ride a broomstick and some sort of perfume." He shrugged. I laughed and turned to James.

"Sounds like you smell a Miss Lily Rose Evans. Or should I say Lily Rose Potter!" Sirius laughed but look uncomfortable and Lily and James both glared.

"Go on Miss Evans, your turn" Slughorn orderd.

"Oh okay, well I smell wind on a broomstick whatever that smells like, woodsy scent, lake water, butterbeer, and this cologne that smells kind of sweet but bitter." I laughed aloud again and James glared. She smelled James. Oh this is just priceless. Remus and Peter went and some other students. Remus smelled, rubble, assortments of potions and broomsticks, while Pete smelled flowers and pumpkin juice.

"Well it seems as if we have a lot of broomsticks, lake water, and woodsy scents, in this classroom. Any way moving along. Can anyone tell me what this last potion is?" He pointed to the one under snivelly's big nose. I raised my hand while Lily stared at it. Did she really not know? He motioned for me to answer.

"Felix Felicis, its liquid luck, one sip, for one perfect day."

"Correct. I've drunk that potion once in my life so far. And what a perfect day that was. Today we will be brewing Draught of the living Death. The person who creates the best made potion shall win a bottle of the lucky potion. Enough for 12 hours of luck. Though mind you it's illegal in competitions." He took out his short wand and tapped on the chalk board. "The directions are on the board. Begin." I got up quickly grabbing the ingredients.

"I'm going to win." I told them.

"Yeah right, beat snivelly! I may hate him but that git is potions genious." James said.

"Oh nevermind Snivelly, I'll take care of him." I grinned as I thought of the plan I had in my head.

"Okay so forget snivelly, but what about Lily. Think you can beat her?"

"Oh yes, Lily's good but she doesn't have the determination I've got. You'll see."

I started brewing my potion, I checked the board every once and while to make sure they potion was the right color. I looked down and it was turning a pale pink. Sirius looked at me and back at his own purple potion.

"Merlin, you really are determined." He said quietly.

"Okay, two minutes left class." It's time I thought. I took out a dragon tooth from my pocket. Sirius and James watched curiously as I pointed my wand at it "Wingradium Leviosa!" I thought and the dragon tooth raised and I pointed my wand at snape's potion and dropped in the tooth. The reaction was immediate. The potion blew up in Snape's face.

"Oh!" cried slughorn. Snape reached up and wiped the potion out of his eyes and turned to glare at me. I glared back.

"Professor! It was that Xeomara! She put a dragon tooth in my potion!" Snape yelled.

"Professor, I didn't!" I said.

"Yes you did you nasty little liar, hanging out with mud-" I was at Snape's table in 3 strides. My wand at his neck. With him sitting down we were eye to eye.

"You dare even think about saying that word!" I screamed.

He looked me in the eye and smiled. "Mudblood." He said. Everyone gasped. Slughorn yelled "HEY BOY!"

"I warned you." I snarled. I took one step back, "Stupefy!" Snape and his chair were thrown back into the wall, the chair broke with the force. His head hit the wall but he was already unconscious.

"Xeomara!" Slughorn said loudly. Oh merlin. Did I just do that in front of a teacher. I never did that in front of a teacher. I looked back and met Sirius's eyes. He looked was shocked. I turned around to face Slughorn.

"I never! I don't even know what to say. Firstly fifty points from Slytherin for foul language. Miss Raes, you will be reported to Professor McGonagall and she will decide your punishment. Sit down please." I walked back to my seat without a word. Sirius patted my shoulder. "Oh and Miss Raes?" I looked at Slughorn again. "Excellent stunning spell, I have never seen a student with that power while using that spell." He smiled and began examining potions. Sirius and James looked at me wide eyed.

"Zee, you really shouldn't have done that. Stunning him in front of a professor, honestly!" Lily reprimanded.

"I know." Was all I said. Slughorn walked over to Lily's table and said ooh Miss Evan excellent, excellent. You might just be our winner. She smiled at him. When he reached my table he gave James and Sirius a good job. He looked at mine.

"Why, I think we have our winner! Excellent potion Xeomara! Its almost the exact shade of pink!" He handed me the little bottle of potion. Lily's eyes narrowed.

"Lils, don't worry you know if you ever need it, I'll give you a sip!" I said to her.

"All right, off to lunch all of you! Miss Raes, I'm certain your head will get your during lunch. Good Bye."

"What was I thinking?!" I said as we left.

"Your weren't" Remus answered for me.

"Thanks." I replied sourly. Sirius put his arm around my shoulder.

"Don't worry Zee, I'm sure it will only be detention and it won't be so bad because I'll get one with you!" Lily sighed and shook her head.

"Are you forgetting that I'm already in trouble for being In the forest?!"

"ooh your right, I forgot." I didn't even make it half way to the great hall when I heard

"Xeomara Raes!" I turned around slowly.

"Hello Professor."

"My office. NOW!" I said bye and followed McGonagall to her office. She sat me down and stared at me before speaking.

"What were you thinking, Stunning Mister Snape in front of a teacher!" she yelled.

"I wasn't mam'."

"You were already let off the hook once when you went into the forest. How could you even think to do something some idiotic so soon!"

"He called my friends Mudblood's." I said shortly.

"I well. Yes. But you should have left the punishment to the teacher instead of taking it upon yourself. You have Detention for 3 days with . Be off." I walked off without another word to the great hall.

-Sirius's POV-

As I sat eating my lunch I kept thinking about the potions lesson that morning. First with the Amortentia. It smelled familiar way to familiar but I can't put my finger on what. Then when Zee stunned Snape. Sure I've seen her stun Snape and hex him, but I've only seen her that mad at him once and that was last year when he called Lily a mudblood in front of almost the whole school outside. Which I personally think he deserves.

I sat there not talking to anyone. Lily and James were talking about what we missed in Charms on Friday, Remus and Peter were discussing their excitement for defense against the dark arts lesson were having today. Then the owl post starting coming in. Lily got one, as did James. He sat there reading it and turned to me and said "Mum, say and I quote "Hello Sirius Darling, Hope your having a lovely first term. And staying out of trouble I hope. Who am I kidding, you staying out of trouble? I think that goes in one ear and out the other when I tell you, James and Maurie that. But no matter, there's nothing wrong with a bit of mischief." I grinned as James went on. "I look forward to seeing you for Christmas. Thank merlin you left that awful house. See you soon dear. Love Mum."

"I love your mum, James! I'll have to owl her back later."

Lily said "Your mum sounds cool."

"She is very cool flower." I answered for him.

"When Maurie get's back I'll have to read her, the portion my mum wrote her."

Something landed on the empty seat next to me. I turned and say Zee's family owl sitting there waiting for her, with a howler. "Damn!" I said loudly. James looked over as did Remus and Peter. They all let out a stream of sware words so loud that made Lily gasp.

"I'll just be taking this out there." They all nodded. I pried the letter out of the owls hands and took off into the hall way. I was walking up to the tower when I ran into something tiny, so tiny that I didn't even stumble. I looked down and so Zee on the ground. I laughed and reached forward and picked her to set her back on her feet.

"What's the hurry?" she asked. I showed her the howler that was addressed to her. "Oh dear." She took it in her hands and it started shaking, she looked around making sure no one was near us and then slowly opened. The second she did it flew out of her hands and in the air in front of both of our faces.

"XEOMARA ELIZABETH RAES. HAVE YOU GONE BLOODY MAD! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING! YOU AND YOUR BLOODY GRYFFINDOR PRIDE. HOW DARE YOU STUN ME!" her mother screamed. Then another cold voice started up. Her sister. "ah, hello dear sister. Personally I say a job well done. You'll provide some great entertainment from me when you get home for the holidays. Can't wait til I see you then." She laughed with out humor, Then the long drawing voice of her father spoke, "YOU FILFTHY GOOD FOR NOTHING MUDBLOOD LOVER! YOU DARE CURSE ME AND YOU MOTHER? YOU THINK THOSE TWO WEEKS IN YOUR ROOM WERE HELL. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING GIRL, YOU HAVENT SEEN NOTHING YET. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! Let's just say I'll teach you a few spells I've learned recently." The whole time her father was yelling I heard her mother in the background calling her a disgrace, and traitor the usual I usually get and just basically screaming her head off in French and her sisters cold laughter. The letter immediately burst into flames and exploded loudly. She just stood there not saying anything. Get his hands on her. I'd like to see him try. She's never going back to live there ever.

"Zee, you okay?" I asked touching her arm. She looked at me and blinked a few times.

And said finally "Of course I'm okay." I knew she was lying so I called her out on it.

"You're lying."

"Yes." She said lowly. "You're right, I am." I pulled her into a hug, she didn't cry, didn't talk, she just hugged me back.


	9. The Date and After

I Own nothing but Xeomara.

Chapter Nine- The Date, and After.

-Sirius's POV-

The rest of the week went by quickly. None of us mentioned Zee's parent and she didn't bring them up either. People finally got over the drama of Zee's face. There were some many every changing rumors of how she got it but it always came down to one thing, Xeomara saving James. James was still sulking worse than ever. Even the ideas of pranks were making him feel better. Moony too, was a little on the down side. Zee did whatever she could to make them feel better, but to no avail it wasn't working. I suppose they just need time. I hope they get back to normal soon, I think they're making Zee feel even worse.

Lily was joining us at the table now and in the common room, sometimes her friends would come sit with us but she usually just came by herself. Her and James were getting on quite well now. I was happy to see that my bestfriend was able to talk to her without fighting. He wanted that more than anything else these last five years. Zee was also happy that they were getting along which meant she could spend time with all of us at one time, without feeling guilty about spending more time with us then she did with her.

Friday night we were sitting in the dorm, Zee was in her own dorm saying she needed girl time, which is ridiculous if you ask me. Since when has Zee liked girl time? I'm sure Lily probably put her up to it. James was looking at the map when suddenly he said "Seventh floor corridor, let's go!" We just stared at him.

"Uh, for what Prongs?" Remus asked the question we were all thinking.

"Zee's date, that damn prat is there! We haven't asked his intentions yet and they're going out tomorrow!" With that being said we all jumped up and raced out of the common room. We made our way quickly to the seventh floor. Where we spotted him.

"Oi! Johnson!" I yelled. He turned and faced us and looked a little nervous. He walked slowly to us and when he finally reached us he said "Oh hello, how's it going?"

"Just lovely." Remus murmured. I just laughed.

James just got right to the point, "What are you intentions with Xeomara?"

"My-My what?" He stammered out.

"Your intentions." That's when I heard a "Hey!" screamed down the hall way. I turned towards the voice and audibly groaned when I saw Zee. She reached us then and was glaring daggers at all of us.

"You." She said pointing at Johnson, "Do not need to answer that. Move along, I'll see you tomorrow." He walked away with a nod and she rounded on us. "And yous!" She said her little finger jabbing in the air. "Please, please stop interrogating my dates. I love you all to pieces but I can take care of myself you know. I've kept up with you guys all for five years, and James all my life. I can definitely take care of myself. But if he does something stupid, I give all permission to hex him, got it?" she added on smiling. She could never stay mad at us.

"Oh, I guess you're right." Moony said, always giving in first. "But how did you know we were up here" Peter added on.

"Oh you silly, silly boys." She said laughing. "Did you honestly think I wanted girl time? Lily put me up to it!" I laughed to myself when she said this. Boy did I know her to well. "I went to your dorm when I finally got away, and saw this," she held up the map. "Opened, and saw you guys cornering Tim. So naturally, I had to come. I couldn't let you ruin his gorgeous face." James groaned and I scowled.

"Gorgeous! Ha! We are all a lot better looking than him." James grumbled.

"Of course, you are Jimmy." She said smiling. "Now let's go shall we?"

I woke up the next morning to flower's screaming voice coming from the common room. I sat up and saw that I was alone in the dorm. I quickly got dressed for the day and headed down the stairs. Lily was standing at the bottom of the girl's steps with James, Remus and Peter behind her.

"XEOMARA ELIZABETH RAES GET YOUR ARSE DOWN HERE!" flower screamed.

I walked up behind them and said "What's going on?"

Lily answered "ZEE!" she screamed loudly. "Thinks she looks hideous, she said she refuses to go on her date! Which is absolutely ridiculous." My eyes widened and I looked to Remus, she said that with him here? "It's okay, I always had a hard time coming down with my scars Sirius, I don't feel bad anymore. It wasn't my fault." I was surprised to hear Rem say that. I guess Zee finally made him understand.

"ZEEEEEEEEE!" I screamed. "Get your beautiful self down here right now! Don't make me come up there!" I yelled to her.

"Shut up Sirius Black! I don't need your sarcasm!" She yelled back. James laughed.

"She's really going to make me go up there." I muttered. "James cover flowers eyes so I can get up there." Lily made a sound of protest and James covered her eyes. I pointed my wand at the staircase "soliduim." I said in my head. Only nonverbal spell I could do yet. I put one foot cautiously and the bottom step. When it stayed I ran up the stairs to her dorm. "You can uncover her eyes now!" I said to James.

"Sirius Black! You little sneak!" Lily yelled to me. I just laughed and burst through the door. Zee was staring at herself in the mirror, she kept touching her scar making little faces of disgust. I heard her muttering something about what would my mother say to this. I shook my head and walked quietly over and stood behind her. She looked shocked to see me there behind her. I guess she didn't hear the door open I thought. I placed my hands on her shoulders and sighed.

"Zee, love. Now what is the problem." I said softly. She narrowed her eyes.

"I can't go down there! Look at my face! Did you see what Lily picked out for me to wear? I mean sure the uniforms okay because you can't see how the scar goes all the way down to my shoulders. But no, Lily has to pick this low cut white shirt!" I had an image of Zee in my head with a low cut shirt. I shook my head quickly.

"Zee, he still wants to go with you. He told you that himself, you can't just not go. This isn't like you at all. If he says anything about your face I'll hex him, alright. And even if he does don't worry we all think your still beautiful."

"Oh yes, my bestfriends think I'm beautiful. You guys have to think that!" I laughed and shook my head.

"No we don't, now I want you to get dressed and be downstairs in five minutes. Okay?"

"Fine." I leaned forward and kissed her scared cheek. And walked swiftly from the room and down the stairs.

"She's coming." I told Lily.

"How did you- how did you-"I placed my fingers on her lips and smiled.

"Secret flower." We moved away from the stairs and sat on the couches. I smiled as James and Lily sat next to each other.

"Do you know too James? And Remus and Peter?" The all just smiled innocently and she sighed.

"Are you joining us today flower? I asked.

"Of course who else would I go with. My friends all have dates." She finished sourly.

"You didn't get asked?" James said shocked. I myself was a little shocked Lily, was gorgeous with her long fiery red hair, and her bright green eyes. Any guy would be an idiot not to think she's beautiful.

"Oh, no I did. I just said I didn't want to go with them." James faced looked confused and Remus opened his mouth most likely to ask why but then Zee bounced down the stairs. She had her long hair down and curly like always. Little to no makeup on. She was wearing tight jeans with black converse and a low cut white tee shirt. She looked plain but beautiful. She always looked that way. I smiled at her as she walked over to us with a frown on her face.

"Happy?" she asked us.

"Yes." All of us replied and then we laughed. James stood up and pulled Lily up with him. The rest of us stood as well and began making our way down to the Entrance to leave. Once we got there Tim spotted us and walked over. Zee straightened herself up as he walked over. "Well, don't you look beautiful." He drawled.

"Thank you." She said confidently. She sure could hide her emotions well, just a minute ago she was frowning. He held out his hand and she took it. Turning to face us she said "Bye, I'll meet you all later. Come find me!" I scowled as they walked away, surprising myself I never really cared about her dates. Well unless one hurt her, or was a complete prick. Lily sighed dreamily.

"What?" I asked her rudely. She looked taken aback by the tone of my voice but still put a secretive smile on her face.

"Nothing." She said quickly. Then laughed. We made our way to Hogsmeade. Stopping in all the stores but staying the longest in Zonko's. I was quite surprised to find Lily to be quite the little jokester. She wasn't as stuck up as everyone thought. At around three we headed over to ThreeBroomsticks. Where we spotted Zee and Tim. She was laughing when we walked in. I scowled harder.

-Xeomara's POV-

I was laughing at something Tim said we I heard the door chime. I turned to look at saw my friends coming in. Sirius scowled as he saw us. I thought it over quickly in my head but couldn't come up with why so I waved to them. I saw lily whisper something to them, they waved back but sat at a different table, one all the way in the other corner.

"Your friends aren't sitting with us." He stated more than asked. I turned my attention back to Tim.

"Hmm, I guess not. If it was up to them yes, but Lils probably told them to leave us alone."

"Good." He said simply. I raised my eye brow.

"Do you not like my friends?" I asked sharply.

"No its not- not that. It's just-"

"Well good because if you get me, you get them. We're sort of a packaged deal."

He nodded grimly. "You guys are really close aren't yous?" I noticed he once again quickly looked at my scar and back up again.

"They're my family."

"Ready to get out of here?" I nodded. He put the money on the table and took my hand. Right before we walked out the door I turned to my friends and winked.

"Want to go to the Shrieking Shack? It's supposed to be the most haunted building in England." I laughed to myself, thinking just how haunted it was. He didn't seem to recognize the smile on my face because he was too busy staring at my scar again.

"Sure." He brought his glaze up back to my eyes and smiled. We got there and sat at a bench right in front of it. Neither of us spoke, we just sat there enjoying the silence. Next thing I knew we were kissing. I returned the kiss back and it started to get deeper. Which was weird because I knew I never kissed like this on a first date but I let the thought go to the back of my mind as we continued to kiss. His lips were soft on mine. His lips broke off of mine and started traveling down towards my neck, when he suddenly stopped. I made a note in my head that he was kissing my scared side, but that was yet again another thought it pushed to the back of my head.

"What?" I asked him, breathing heavy.

"Sorry, but I think we should get back." He said also breathing a little heavy. I nodded a little disappointed. He was a good kisser.

After we agreed to have a study date on Monday, and I have him a soft kiss goodbye I made my way to the tower. When I reached the common room, I didn't see my friends anywhere. Instead of heading to my dorm I made my way up to the boys'. I pushed open the door and found them all sitting on their beds talk, Lily on the floor. I smiled to myself. Lily finally forgave James.

Lily then saw me in the door way. "Zee! Hey, how was your date." She asked as I walked and sat next to Sirius on his bed. I laid on my stomach next to him.

"It was pretty good."

"Oh come on Zee, you can do better than that! What happened, where did you go? Did you snog?" I felt Sirius tense next to me as she said snog. I looked at him and smiled and he smiled back, his body relaxing a bit. I changed the subject.

"Heyy guys, how was your day!" I said brightly.

"Don't change the subject Zee, We want to hear all about your date." Peter said. The boys and lils nodded. I sighed loudly.

"Well, he is very funny if you must know, not in the least as funny as you guys but still. He made me laugh a lot and he was nice. I'm not sure what else I can tell you. Uh we agreed to go on a study date Monday." Sirius snorted.

"You, study?"

"I think it's good she wants to study" Remus said quietly.

"Ha, yeah right, she just agreed because she wanted to go on another date with him. Right, Zee?" James asked.

"Boy, Jimmy. You know me all too well." He laughed, Remmie sighed. "Well did you kiss?" he asked sharply.

"Yes! And it was bloody amazing. He was definitely an eight!" I said referring to the numbers we always rate our snogs on. Sirius tensed again and I could feel his eyes on me. Realizing what I just said, I turned slightly pink and put my head in my hands.

"An eight? Oh please do not tell me you guys rate your snogs." Lily snorted.

"Of course we do flower, your kiss was a perfect ten." James said. I laughed taking my head out of my hands remembering when James kissed Lily last year during Christmas time under the mistletoe he placed at the common room entrance.

"Oh please James, That kissed last ten seconds if anything and besides I didn't even want to kiss you. Just imagine how good it would be if I had wanted to." She teased and then winked at him. I looked at Sirius and his eyes met mine, to say we were both shocked was an understatement.

"Think you're willing to show me?" James asked with a wink of his own. I stifled a laugh and I heard Peter turning his laugh into a cough.

"We'll see, Potter. We'll see." She said smoothly. "Well I'm off. Staying here Zee?"

"Yes I probably won't be back tonight. See you in the morning." She smiled at me and left.

"Whoa, Jamesie boy! Did you hear that, lily flower was flirting with you!" I exclaimed. "By this time next month, you'll be snogging each other senseless."

"Speaking of snogging. You really kissed that prat?" he asked. Sirius sighed and rolled over on his back. I looked at him for a moment wondering what was wrong. Then looked back to James.

"Yeah." Then I changed the subject again. This time to quidditch. "When's the try outs again" I asked.

"This up coming Wednesday." Sirius said. "Not that we really need to try out. Wood told us that we already had a spot on the team. He told us to tell you that as well. Really were just looking for a new seeker." We continued talking about quidditch and how we were taking the cup this year. I looked at the clock next to the bed and saw that it was nearing 12. I told them so and we all got up to get changed. I grabbed a pair of boxers and a tee shirt from Sirius's trunk and went to the bathroom to get changed. After putting my hair curls in a bun and brushing my teeth with an extra tooth brush I had in there. I walked back in the room and saw that they were already ready in bed, with the lights shut out. I chuckled softly and walked over to Sirius's bed pushing him over.

"I'm sleeping with you tonight." I told him. He lifted the blankets up so I could get in and placed them back over us. I rolled over and curled up next to his side. I heard him sigh and the next thing I heard was his snores. I smiled to myself suddenly feeling very comfortable, closing my eyes I fell quickly asleep.


	10. Bad Day

I Own Nothing But The OC'S.

Chapter Ten- Bad Day

Everything was slowly going back to normal, Well as normal as it can be for us marauders. What was surprising to most people is that Lily was now with us every day. Of course she didn't prank people with us, or hex slytherins in the hall way like we did but she was always there. What was even more surprising was that she and James had grown really close. You could always see those two next to each other. James had stopped asking her out and Lily had stopped yelling at him for pranking people. If she had problems James was the first one she told. If she failed a test or didn't understand transfiguration I would here her screaming James name and he'd calm her down. Me and the guys would exchange looks when they did this at first, but even we go used to it and learned to stop questioning it.

The full moons, were going well. Moony was restless sometime but other than my big injury only minor ones followed. Sirius didn't ask out as many girls which was, hmm let's say different and Remus was actually somewhat dating a girl! He wouldn't admit to them kissing or if they were really going out but he sure spent a lot of time with her. She was a tall blonde Ravenclaw named Amy Lukes. How she got into Ravenclaw I won't ever know. She's a bit on the ditzy and prissy side if you ask me. Peter, was being well Peter. He had one or two dates at the most but other than nothing.

Tim had finally asked me out, by our third date and all was well with him. Of course we did a lot more snogging then talking, a thing that drove the boys crazy but I still liked him none the less. It took him awhile to get over the fact that I was usually sharing at dorm with four other boys but he knew that I wouldn't give them up so he got used to it. Though that didn't mean we wouldn't argue about it. I noticed he also looked at my right cheek a lot and he'd stay away from it when we were kissing, a thought I usually just put in the back of my mind not thinking anything of it.

Soon September turned into October and October turned into November. And the next thing I knew it was December! I was sitting alone in my dorm(for once) thinking. I couldn't seem to get the smell of my amortentia potion out of my mind. And why was Sirius suddenly acting different around me. We're still the same in some way but I noticed that when I'm with Tim he backs off and doesn't really talk much. I didn't understand. I was thinking this over, when lily walked in. "Hey Zee."

"Hey, where were you?" I knew she wasn't off with the boys seeing as they went to prank without me. I told them I needed to think. Which I was doing until Lily walked in, I sighed inwardly.

"I was just walking around the lake." I raised my eye brow telling her to continue. "Thinking." She added.

"Same, about what?" She looked flustered for a moment.

"Zee, I uh- I think I fancy James!" she said in a rush. I smiled, a real genuine smile. I was really happy for them. I already knew James was in love with Lily, not that she ever believed him when he said it but I always knew they'd be together. It was just one of those things that was supposed to happen.

"I'm happy for you Lils. Tell him." She looked at me incredulously.

"What? I can't just tell him, what if he doesn't like me? I'd look like a fool.

"Flower, how could you be the smartest girl in our year, but be so dense?" She mocked me by raising her eye brow questionably.

"Lily, James has fancied you since fifth year. Hell, probably even before that. Just tell him."

"I-I okay." I smiled brighter. She smiled back and walked over to her bed and laid doing closing the curtains. As if she just remembered something she threw them open and said "Wait, what were you thinking about."

"Nothing, Nothing important." She looked as if she was going to protest but decided against it, closing her curtains back up. A few minutes later, her breath deepend and she was asleep. I just laid there with my curtains shut, listening to all the other girls file in and bustle around before finally falling asleep themselves, but I still couldn't fall asleep. Thoughts were rushing in and out of my brain. Why, why did I care if Sirius was acting weird. Because he's one of my best mates I answered for myself. But that doesn't explain anything I thought. I was driving myself mad with thoughts that I didn't sleep at all.

So when it was finally a reasonable time to get up, I started to shower and do my normal morning things. I walked downstairs before anyone else and just sat on the couch staring at the fire, getting lost in the flames. When I heard a door open and four boys laughter as they ran down the steps. I already knew who it was, hearing them laugh for five years it was obvious. The laughing stopped short. I didn't look around to see why. I was hoping they just wouldn't notice me.

"Zee?" I heard Remus shocked. They knew I wasn't a morning person so for me to be up this early would mean that I didn't even sleep. I turned around a saw them standing at the bottom of the stairs staring at me.

"Oh, hey guys. Sleep well?" I asked.

"Yeah, real good actually." Sirius answered. They started walking towards me. James plopped down on one side of me and Remus on the other. Sirius and Peter were both sitting in the arm chair.

"You look tired." James said softly. Probably seeing the circles under my eyes.

"Everything okay?" Peter asked.

"What-"I started "Oh, uh yeah fine." Sirius was staring at me. "What are you staring at me for Black?" I added angrily. They all looked at me as if wondering why I was angry. I never called them by their last names. The last time I called Sirius, black was in second year when I thought he was disgusted that Remus was a werewolf.

"Oh, Sirius. I'm sorry. I didn't sleep at all last night and I don't know. Sorry for snapping at you." I said rubbing my temples. I can feel it. Today isn't going to be a good day.

"s'alright." He said back giving me a little smile. I smiled back tiredly and sunk down into the couch. It was quite until I heard running down the stairs.

"James! Sirius! Remus! Peter!" I heard Lily scream. "I got up this morning excepting to have to drown Xeomara in water but she wasn't in her bed! Do you guys have any idea where she is?" She asked panicking. I didn't say anything just raised my hand. "Oh, thank merlin. You had me nervous Zee." She walked over to us and sat on the other side of James who moved over knocking into me to make room. Sighing at the lack of room, I slid onto the floor, putting my head in my knees. I heard Lily, James and Peter start a conversation about transfiguration today. While Remus was shifting through a book, I didn't have to look I could hear the pages turning. Sirius wasn't talking and I was trying to fall asleep with what little time I had left. If I had gotten any sleep at all I will never know because the next thing I knew Sirius was lifting me up and putting me on my feet.

"Time, for McGonagall." He said softly. I just sighed and leaned my head against his shoulder as he supported my tired body to her classroom. I heard James still talking to Lily and smiled a little thinking of what she told me last night.

"You know" I began quietly. "Lily fancies James, she told me so last night. I told her to tell him and she said she would. It will only be a matter of time before they're dating."

"No way" he muttered. Once we reached the class, Sirius took the seat next to me. I put my head in my hands and the next thing I knew, someone was elbowing me, while I heard "Miss Xeomara, is there a reason while you are sleeping in my classroom!" McGonagall shouted. I jumped up quickly, knocking myself off of my chair. I landed on the floor with a thud. I groaned and put my hands on the desk to support myself in standing back up. I slid back into my seat. "Sorry."I yawned. Her mouth formed into a tight line.

"Stay after class, Miss Raes and you too Mr Black." She said.

"WHAT!" Sirius said loudly. "What did I do Professor. The one time I didn't do anything.." he trailed off decided it be best not say anything else. I tried to keep my eyes opened the rest of the period while McGonagall had us taking notes. Every so often my head would begin to fall but I shake myself awake. Causing Sirius to chuckle and along with Lily, who was sitting next to me. After class, McGonagall droned on and on about sleeping in the class and the importance of this year. I just nodded and walked out next to Sirius.

Walking through the corridors I jumped to attention when I heard the people in front of me say my name. I glanced at Padfoot and put a finger to my lips telling him to be quiet. It was then I noticed the blonde hair and Tim's unmistakable laughter.

"-So your saying you don't want to shag Xeomara." His friend said, who I recognized as Stevens.

"No I bloody well don't. That scar on her face. Looking at it gives me the creeps." I felt my anger start to boil up. Sirius glanced at me nervously but I motioned for him to stay quiet.

"Yeah, well I would if I were you. She's gorgeous. Everyone school wants her. Are you saying you don't like her at all because if that's what you're saying I wouldn't mind taking her off your hands. She's got temper that one. I'm sure she'd be a great shag." I started breathing heavily. Today was the wrong day to mess with me.

"Sure, I mean I do a little bit, but I mean yeah I guess you're right. She would be a good shag." Okay that's it. I plunged my hands into my robes flicked my wand and hit him with the tripping jinx. I laughed as he tried getting to his feet. He pointed his wand at me not realizing it was me yet and I blocked it with a casual wave of my wand. Sirius didn't even raise his wand. Tim stumbled back.

"Zee?" He asked surprised. "Did you just-"

"Of course I did, who else did you think it was. You know you should really learn to keep your mouth shut Johnson. If this was something you wanted to keep quiet surely you're not that thick to talk about it openly in the hall ways, where your repulsive girlfriend might here you." I said loudly. Every one stopped and looked at us. I was making a scene but I didn't care. "Oh and I appreciate you thinking I was gorgeous Stevens, but then you lost my respect when you said I'd be just a good shag." I snarled. I pointed my wand at Tim and said "Levicorpus" he was hoisted into the air by his ankles. "Sirius, would you like to do the honor of taking off his pants?" I asked sweetly. Sirius was glaring at Tim.

"My pleasure." With a flick of his wand Tim now had his pants down to his ankles.

"Let him go!" Stevens yelled his wand pointing at me.

I laughed "Let him go you say?" I lifted the curse and he fell onto the hard corridor. I head the crunch of his arm braking.

"Your just mad because I don't want to shag you! It's not my fault you have that ugly scar on your face. Who in the world would want to shag someone that looked like you!" The hall fell silent. My blood was boiling again.

"Oh shut up Johnson!" Sirius yelled, "Don't talk crazy, you know have the guys in this hall way would admit to wanting to shag Zee."

"You mean you're not disgusted my her scar?" Sirius laughed and kissed me right on my scared cheek like he normally did. All of my boys did that. It became quite a habit recently when saying good bye.

"Of course not, don't be so thick." He answered.

"Oh that's right I forgot. Of course you wouldn't. You, James, Peter, and Remus probably aren't disgusted because she gives you all free shags!" I stared at him both eye brows raised. "Don't think I don't know how she sleeps in the dorm with you."

"How could you even think that! I'm not some slut! AVIS!" I yelled. A bunch of tiny birds burst from my wand a began pecking him angrily. "FURNUNCULUS!" I shouted again and bunch of big boils grew on his face. He yelled out in pain. I saw felt Sirius tug on my arm trying to get me to stop.

"You know, you're a waste of my time. Stupefy!" A shot of red light flew through my wand and hit on the chest.

"MISS RAES!" Oh no. I knew that voice. I know also knew why Sirius was trying to stop me. She pointed her wand at Tim and he was suddenly awake and the birds disappeared.

"Black, Raes, Johnson. My office NOW! Oh, Johnson quit your moaning lets go." She stalked off in the opposite direction. Johnson was limping behind her and me and Sirius were trailing behind them both. When we reached the office Sirius and I occupied the chairs in front of her desk while, Tim sunk into the chair against the wall.

"What were you thinking Miss Raes! No magic in the corridors! No dueling in the corridors! Did you not get in trouble for something like this back in September?" She yelled. I didn't flinch.

"He told me my scar on my face creeps him out. Him and his bloody-" noticing the look on her face I added "Sorry Professor. -Mate, Said I'd be just a good shag. Then he also told me that I gave Sirius, Remus, Peter and James free shags." I said coldly.

"Well, that's just- I excepted better from all of you! Xeomara, Fifty points from Gryffindor for dueling the hall ways. twenty-five points from Hufflepuff for inappropriate language-" she was cut off.

"WHAT! She broke my arm, sent birds attacking me, gave me blisters and stunned me and all she gets its fifty house points taken away?" he bellowed.

"I was getting to that and I'd appreciate it if you don't raise your voice to me again. You will both be receiving two weeks detention. As for you you will also be receiving a week's detention."

"He didn't do anything Professor." I said.

"Yes, he did. He pulled my pants down." Tim argued pointing to the pants still around his ankles.

"Shut your mouth Tim, he did not. I pulled them down myself. Did you not see Sirius pulling my arm in the hall way. He was telling me to stop the whole time but I didn't listen. It was my fault." Sirius was giving me a look wondering why I was covering for him, but he didn't interrupt.

"Is this true Xeomara. You aren't just covering for him because he is your friend?" McGonagall asked.

"No, Mam'" I said firmly.

Ignoring Tim's protests she said "Oh, alright then. Fifteen points for Gryffindor, for actually trying to do the right thing." Sirius gave her a little smile. "You may go. I'll see you down here for detention tomorrow night. Johnson get to the hospital wing and get rid of those creepy-" she emphasized creepy, "boils and get your arm checked out. That will be all." I got up quickly and swept out of the room with as much dignity as I could muster, Sirius was hot on my heels.

"Zee, you didn't need to cover for me." He whispered.

"I wanted to. Don't question it." I said. He just shrugged.

"Zee, I'm sorry you had to hear that. It was a terrible thing he said, he was wrong-" I cut across him.

"Sirius, listen I don't want to talk about it."

"But-"

"Sirius, please just leave it alone." I begged. He didn't say anything else and we walked the rest of the way in silence. When we reached the common room, everyone was waiting on the sofas.

"What in the bloody hell took you guys so long?" James asked.

"I just want to get some sleep." I said walking past them to the boy's dormitory.

"You are aware that you're going the boys dorm, aren't you?" Lily asked.

"Of course." I snapped. "I really don't feel like hearing stupid girl talk." And with that I walked the rest of the way up and collapsed on Sirius's bed. The pillow over top of my head. What could have been ten minutes later I heard someone walking up the stairs and open the door. Maybe if I didn't talk they'd think I was sleeping. The person sat down next to me.

"I see you've taken a liking to Padfoot's bed." James said in amused tone like he knew something I didn't. "I know you're not sleeping." He added on.

I took the pillow of my head. "Yeah I suppose so, I'm not sure why. I just find it extremely comfortable." I said rolling over and looking at him.

"He told us what happened you know. He's really upset about it. Kept saying something about wanting to go strangle the bastard. He also said how you covered for him." I just shrugged acting like it didn't bother me. "Don't even try acting like it didn't bother you. I feel it Zee and I know how you think. It does bother you. Just admit it." I shook my head no, knowing that he was right. It hurt me, it hurt me bad. " Dammit Zee, Come here." I got up and he pulled me into his arms. I sighed. He always knew just what to do to make me feel better. I welcomed the feeling of his hug knowing I felt the way I always did after he did this. Better.

"Thanks I said into his cloak. I should have known really. He always sort of avoiding my cheek and my back. I just didn't think anything of it." He stiffened.

"Did you really like him?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, no. I don't know. I've had a lot on my mind lately. I keep thinking about that damn love potion. I know, I've smelled those things before but I can't put my damn finger on it! It's driving me mad!" He laughed softly.

"Is that why you didn't sleep last night?" I nodded.

"You know what I think we all need?" I asked. He got a big smile on his face.

"Room of Requirement." We both said together. Evil grins on our faces. He stood up and grabbed the cloak and the map and held out his hand.

"Ready sister?" he asked still grinning.

"Sure am, brother." I replied. We walked down the stairs holding hands, still with big grins on our faces.

"Oh no." Lily said after seeing our faces. "I know those looks you have on your faces. What's going on?" Sirius catching on said

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He smile matching our own.

"This definitely got worse." Flower muttered.

"Room of Requirement." We said at the same time. "Excellent!" Sirius added on.

"Guys, maybe that isn't such a good idea. Zee just got two weeks detention and if we get caught-"

"We never get caught." Peter said smiling. "Come on Rem."

"You need this just as much as I do." I said referring to the full moon that just passed three days ago. "And tomorrow's Saturday. Please!"

"I-oh fine." He said giving in with a smile on his face.

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on!" Lily said angrily.

"I'll leave your guys to handle this. Don't worry flower you'll have fun."

"Who's going?" Rem asked pointing to the cloak and map in Prongs' hand.

"I am." I said at the same time James said "She is." We both laughed.

"Shouldn't someone-" Sirius started.

"Yeah right. Do you not remember SQ&S?" I said.

He laughed "Small, quick and silent. Everyone's favorite sneak." With that I took the cloak from James' hand laughing at the expression on lily's face when I put it on. He handed me the map. "I'll meet you there in fifteen minutes. Same room as always."

"What, in the hell." Lily said shocked.

"I'll leave you to sort that one out Jamesie." I laughed. Then said "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." The map appeared and I was on my way.


	11. Sharing,Friends, and Realizations

**I own, only the OC'S!**

Chapter Eleven- Sharing, Friends, and Realizations.

-Sirius's POV-

As we walked to the room of requirements I listened quietly as James and Remus explained to flower what was going on. She was furious but didn't change her mind about coming. Which I was happy about. She needed to loosen up and have some fun. So I told her so,

"I'm glad you're coming Lily Flower. You need to loosen up." She gave me a grateful smile.

"You're right of course. Oh merlin, I just agreed Sirius Black was right. What is the world coming to?" She said trying hard to keep a serious face. I just rolled my eyes. "Is Zee really going to be okay doing that by herself?"

"Of course she is, you've never seen her in action. I can barely hear her footsteps when she's under that thing." Remus said.

"I think it's really cool James, and it now also explains how you all have been sneaking out of the dorm after all these years. And that map! I want to take a look at it. That's real advanced magic, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised. You all are some of the smartest in our year." We all just laughed. When we reached the door, I paced by three times thinking off five beds and lot's of pillows and also a fire place. Simple but just what we needed. The door appeared and we walked into a spacious room with five big beds and a soft maroon carpet. We lit the fire place and all took seats on the rug. True to her word fifteen minutes later Zee burst through the door with a lot of bottles of firewhiskey.

"Damn that was fast. I almost got caught too, bloody cat." She said shaking the snow from her hair. I looked away. Damn James ever since he told me a few months ago that my scents from the love potion smelled like her, I couldn't get her out of my head. But it was impossible for me to be in love with her. She was one of my best mates. I felt someone tapping my arm and looked to see Zee sitting next to me handing me a bottle. I took it, opened it and took a large swig.

"In a rush mate?" Wormtail said laughing. I just shrugged.

"Lily, it's not going to kill you. Live a little would ya?" I heard Stripes persuading flower. She just looked at us before sighing and taking the bottle. I gave her a reassuring smile when she looked at me and she nodded back. We all sat there for a moment drinking from our bottles when lily said "So, it's almost Christmas! A week in a half til break!" I heard stripes sigh loudly. I turned and looked at her.

"What's up?" I asked.

"Home." She said simply taking a big sip from her bottle. The boys and I exchanged grins. "What on earth are you grinning about! This is not something to be happy about."

"Well, We've all been thinking Zee, and well we decided we simply could not just leave you there." James said. She gave us a look. I could almost hear her saying "What in the bloody hell are you talking about!"

"You're never going to live there again." I added on smiling. She raised an eyebrow. James motioned for me to continue. "Your moving in with Prongs and Me!" I said happily. She blinked a few times thinking this over. "We asked his parents months ago but we didn't want to keep bringing it up. Remus said that you could go to his house but James just wasn't having it. So we all agreed his house would be the best!" Lily was looking confused and I was suddenly wondering if she told her anything about it.

"You- I- Won't-" she stuttered. She put her bottle down and threw herself into James' arms, kissing him on the cheek, "You are honestly the best brother anyone could ever ask for!" she screamed. She got up and tackled Moony and Wormtail on the ground, covering them in kisses. "You guys are the best too. I can't believe you did this for me!" I knew what was coming so when she turned around I opened my arms. And she dropped into my lap, through her arms around my neck and kissed me on the cheek. "Thank you." She said simply, but she didn't let go. I looked at James and his eyes met mine and he smiled. Finally she untangled herself from me and took her seat next to me.

"Wait, why do you want to get out of your house, I mean I know that they're well, not very nice people but…" lily asked.

"Honestly Lil, they're bloody mad! They support Voldemort!" Peter flinched at his name. "Oh Pete, grow up. I well I never really told you this but the easiest way I can say it is. You obviously know how Sirius's parents treated him right?" She nodded. "Well that's how I was treated too. My dad locked me in my room this summer and used the cruciatus curse on me. That's why I was sick the first few days of term." She said matter of factly. Lily looked shocked. "oh flower, don't worry I'm okay now. Let's talk about something else.

She then reached for her second bottle of firewhiskey and I was shocked to find that I too had finished my first one and by the looks of it everyone else had too and were also grabbing they're second bottle.

"Well, I feel like I should share my secret seeing as I know secrets about everyone else here. It's only fair." I raised my eye brow, a habit I picked up from Zee. Flower had secrets?

"My sister, Petunia. You know her Zee." Xeomara nodded. "Well she hates me. She thinks I'm a bloody freak because I can do magic. We were always close as kids but when I started doing weird stuff she began to get freaked out. Then when I got my letter to Hogwarts." She blew out a loud breath "She freaked out. Telling me, that I didn't belong in the family. My parents were proud of course. But my sister, well she's barely talked to me since. I'm not invited to her wedding you know." She added looking at Zee. Zee's face suddenly turned angry. "Yep, she's getting married Christmas break but I was told I had to stay home because she doesn't want anything "freaking" happening at the wedding." How could anybody hate Lily. I've never really thought about how muggle-borns were treated by their families after they received their letters.

"How could anyone hate you flower?" James asked softly taking her hand. I looked at Zee and she was suddenly smiling, her eyes locked on their intertwined hands. She looked at Remus and winked. Lily then finished off her second bottle, rather quickly if I don't say so myself.

"You know Lils, she's missing out. You're a great person and a good friend. Don't let it bother you."

"She's right." Remus added. "You have us." She looked first at James who smiled.

"Okay, enough gloom, let's play never have I ever." She said.

"What?" Peter asked.

"It's a muggle game. For example I would say never have I ever been late to class, everyone that has even been late to class would drink and the people that hadn't would drink. The person who finishes they're bottle first loses." Sounded pretty fun to me. We all nodded and opened up our third bottles.

"Okay I'll go first. Never have I ever been shagged." We all rolled our eyes and took a sip of our drinks. "You've all shagged someone? Who?" she questioned

"Ask us no questions and we'll tell you no lies." We chorused to her.

"Okay, hmm never have I ever sat in the library all day." Stripes shot back. Lily sighed and took a sip of her drink.

"Never have I ever got off with someone in the astronomy tower." Peter said. I was shocked the Peter was the only one that didn't drink.

"Lily?!" I asked in shock.

"As me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." She mocked.

More questions were asked and When Peter finished off the last of his bottle Lily stood up, quite shaky and screamed "I'm Victorious." Okay she was definitely pissed. Zee shook her head and smiled.

"Sit down, won't you?" she said her words slurring slightly.

After our game we just sat around and talked. Taking turns telling funny stories. Sharing hook up and talking about random things no one else ever talked about. But one thing we all did was laugh. We laughed the whole time, everyone had tears rolling down their faces and were clutching at their stomachs. Zee was right, we all needed this night. At around eleven, Remus and Peter announced that they were both going to sleep and stumbled over to their beds. Lily who was now on her fourth bottle drinking slower than the rest of us, as Zee, Prongs and I were on our sixth. Said "Oh you two are such killjoys!"

Let me tell you, drunk Lily was fun and she was going to hate us in the morning.

"Zee?" she said suddenly serious, "Do you believe in love?" I was trying to figure out why she was asking that particular question but face it I was also a bit pissed myself.

"I'm not sure flower. I mean I believe in love that a person has for their friends and love that some parents have for their children but I don't know. Who am I to judge if there is such a thing as love." I frowned when she said this. How could she not believe in love, when I loved her. WAIT! I loved her? Since when? No, no this can't be happening, she's my friend. I can't love her. My thoughts were cut off by Lily standing up suddenly, hand over her mouth. "BATHROOM!" Stripes realizing what she was going to do crawled into my lap and placed her hands over her ears. She hated throw up. I saw James chase Lily into the bathroom we had in here. I heard the throw up and she winced in my arms. I placed my hands over top of her little ones to try a muffle the sound more. Once I was sure she was finished I lifted my hands off her ears.

"Thanks." She slurred but made no move to get off. It may seem weird but she feel right sitting here. I can't exactly explain what I mean but-

"I'm going to lay down with her Padsie, I'll see you tomorrow." Prongs said, carrying a passed out Lily and laying her and himself down on the bed closest to the washroom.

"You know, you're very comfortable Sirius. I mean James, Remus and Peter are too, but I feel different when I sit her. I can't explain it." I know she would have never mentioned that if she was sober but I didn't question it. In fact I didn't even answer her. Slowly she got off and laid down curled up on her side in a ball. I laid down next to her on my back starring up at the blurry ceiling.

"MMM, that smells nice." She said before her breath deepened and she fell asleep. I don't know whether it was the alcohol or what that made me realize it, but I was in love with my bestfriend. Hell I wasn't even sure if I'd remember it in the morning.

-Xeomara's POV-

I found myself the next morning curled up on my side wearing a pair of James' boxer shorts and his lucky tee shirt. I looked around trying to remember anything from the night before but I came up blank. I turned over and peeked one eye open, trying to ignore the pounding in my head. Sirius was laying next to me on his stomach, head buried in his arms wearing a pair of pajama pants and a white tee shirt.

"Finally awake are you?" I groaned at the loudness of Moony's voice. "Open up." He commanded. I opened my mouth a tasted a vile liquid being poured down my throat.

"Ugh. That stuff is nasty!" I said feeling better. Ah, hangover tonic I thought to myself. I sat up and looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"James and Lily went down to the kitchens to get something to eat. She's never been there before so she wanted to go. We tried waking you and Pads up but you were dead to the world." I sure as hell was. "Peter, went to the dorm to get his charms homework. Lily said she'd help him while we ate breakfast." I groaned in response still tired. "Give this to him would you?" he asked giving me a green vile and walking to the small table we had.

"Sirius?" he groaned and covered his ears. "Roll over doggy! Come on Sirius, roll over and open your mouth." He groaned another time before doing what I asked. I poured the potion in his mouth.

He sat up straight, giving me a weird look before shaking his head. What was with that look? "Where is everyone?" he asked noticing that only me and Remmie were in the room.

"Lily and James went to the kitchens to get us breakfast and Peter went to go get his charms homework. Apparently we were dead the world when they tried to wake up. Which isn't surprising seeing as we aren't morning people." I stood up and stretched out my sore back from sleeping on the floor.

James and Lily walked in, "Hey guys! Good to see your finally up? Sleep well?" I grumbled in response. "Didn't you take the tonic? Oh stupid question, you just aren't a morning person." They walked over to the table hands filled with food. I held out my had and helped Sirius up before walking to get some food. Peter rushed in with his books. I sat down next to Remus eating a bagel while Lily was on the floor tutoring Peter.

I was almost finishing my bagel when James stood up quickly. "Oh bugger! We have quidditch practice in fifteen minutes!" Sirius and I shot out of our chairs.

"We have to go!" I told them then added "Hey, we'll see you guys later okay?" Without waiting for their response we rushed out of the room. We were running towards the tower completely forgetting what I was dressed in until I heard two boys we passed whistle at me.

"Oh, sod off!" James yelled. But it wasn't only me, getting whistled at. James and Sirius got quite a few, HUNDRED, from most of the female population. I told most of them to stop being so pathetic, but they would just shrug. We finally got dressed and headed to the pitch arriving just on time. Bent over trying to catch our breaths.

"You three, were nearly late!" Wood shouted at us.

"Calm down, Oliver we weren't late were we?" Sirius asked. He disregaured that comment and began lecturing us about the importance of tomorrow's game. Finally after he dragged on for an hour and half we were finally able to get some real practice. Practice was a real mess to say the least. James and I hadn't scored half as many goals as we usually do. Oliver didn't say anything though, well atleast not until Sirius shot a bludger at Mckinnely's and breaking his nose. I heard Lily's bright laughter from the stands and Peter's high pitch chuckle.

"Damn you three!" He shouted, "What were you doing last night? No doubt out pranking and causing mischief! We're playing Slytherin tomorrow. We need this practice! If we lose tomorrow I blame you!"

"Oliver, calm down would you, they're probably just tired I'm sure. We have a great team Oliver. We already beat Hufflepuff in October by 250 points. Just take a deep breath okay?" I was completely shocked at the way Oliver calmed down by the other beater's words, a tall brunette named Maddie.

"Your right. Apologies you three."

"Oi!, Do you have something you want to tell us dear captain." I turned and was startled at not being the only one that shouted that. I looked at James and Sirius and saw they had the same looks I had on my face.

Wood just clucked his tongue and shook his head, "You guys could be triplets. So much alike you are."

"Thank you Oliver!" I said saluting him.

"That wasn't a comment." He replied. I just smiled sweetly and he smiled back. I was flattered to see my charm still worked even with this ugly thing on my face.

"Alright well, off you go then. See you all here tomorrow eight o'clock." He told us.

We walked off the pitch are bones aching. "What time is it?" I asked the boys.

"Um almost seven why?"

"Damn! I have detention with McGonagall! See you later!" I said before running off. I heard Lily say "Where is she running off to?"

"Detention." They answered. I ran as quickly as I could to her office. Sighing as I reached the door.

"I'm here!" I said when I walked in out of breath.

"Ten Minutes later, Raes. But I knew you were at the pitch so I'll excuse you this once." She told me. "Get to work scrubbing the classroom!" She gave me a bucket and rag. I knelt down and began cleaning the floors, trying not to look at Tim who was cleaning the desks. Before I knew it I had moved onto the walls and the chalkboard before I heard her say "My, look at the time it's close to midnight. Off you go. Tomorrow, same time same place." Tired and sore I walked slowly to the portrait.

"quidditch." I said yawning.

"Nope sorry, the past word changed at midnight dear. Though I am quite excited for the match tomorrow." I sighed.

"Devils Snare." I heard someone say behind me. I turned and saw James taking off the cloak as the door burst open. "I was just coming to find you. I saw you were walking back."

"Thanks" I said tiredly. He placed his hands on my back leading me up the stairs to his dorm.

"How was it?"

"We had to clean the whole transfiguration classroom. It was bloody tiring!"

"Oh, you poor thing." He said sarcastically.

"Your sarcasm is noted and not appreciated." I said. He threw me a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt when we finally reached the room. Usually I went in the bathroom to change but today I didn't. Not that It mattered I've been having sleep over's with them since I was eleven. They've seen me get changed before. It also didn't matter for the fact that everyone else was asleep but Prongs and I. I got dress quickly and crawled into bed next to him.

"So, how's it going with you and lily?"

"I'm not sure, sometimes I think she likes me and other times I'm unsure about how she sees me."

"She fancies you." I told him simply.

"She does? You wouldn't lie to me would you?" I shook my head no. "Well, wow. I don't even know what to say. You can't imagine how this feels!"

"I know Jimmy. I'm happy for you. Your finally going to get the girl you've wanted and pined over since first year!"

"I love her." He told me.

"I know you do."

"What about you, isn't there anybody?"

I shook my head, "If there is anybody, I wouldn't know who. You know who your potion smelled like. Mine, well mine is a mystery."


	12. Gryffindor vs Slytherin

**I own nothing but the OC'S!**

Chapter twelve- Gryffindor vs. Slytherin

The next morning I was sitting fully dressed in my quidditch robes waiting for the boys to get ready. James was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, Peter had fallen back to sleep after getting dress, Remus was reading a book (which didn't surprise me) and Sirius was walking around half-naked trying to find where his clothes in this mess of a room.

"Zee, have you seen my lucky tee shirt?" James asked me standing in the door way of the bathroom. Tooth brush in his mouth, wearing only boxer shorts and a towel dangling over his shoulder.

"No. Why should I know where it is?" I asked shrugging.

"Well, seeing as you were the last one to wear it! I would bloody think so. You know I can't play without it!" I wore his tee shirt?

"I wore your tee shirt?" I voiced.

"YES! You know the night we were in the room of requirements? You were definitely wearing it!"

"Hmm, so it seems I was. I thought I gave it back to you! I don't know where it is!"

"Xeomara, you better find my bloody shirt right now!" then muttered something about how he can't believe I lost it.

"You can hardly yell at me, seeing as I was pissed that night and it also was two nights ago! It's your fault you didn't ask for it sooner. I have no clue where it would be!"

"ZEE!" He yelled.

"JAMES!" I yelled back. Peter groaned. Sirius ran his hands through his hair, clearly frustrated.

"GUYS!" Remus yelled. We both whipped our heads back around. "Zee, shut up. You should obviously know where you put the shirt seeing as you were wearing it-" he was cut off by James.

"Hey, don't tell her to shut up Moony! It isn't all her fault you know."

"Merlin, Prongs I was getting to that. And you James should have asked for it sooner. Then we wouldn't have to be looking for it and we wouldn't have to miss breakfast."

"Well excuse us for not remembering, Mr. Perfect!" I said mockingly.

"James and Xeomara, don't double team Remus when he was just trying to stop your fight. God, sometimes you two drive me crazy. One minute you're at each others' throat's and the next minutes jumping down someone else's throat for yelling at you both!" We looked at each other and shrugged.

"Forgive me Jimmy?"

"Of course Maurie." Sirius sighed.

"Try and remember what we did after the room of requirements."

"Well let's see, we ran back to get changed for quidditch, then we went to practice, then I had detention with McGonagall. Then I came back here to sleep, oh hang on! We got changed for quidditch! Sirius you're a bloody genius!" I gave him a quick hug before running down the steps and running unto my dorm. I began searching under my huge pile of clothes.

"Zee, what are you doing?" I finally found it and tugged it out of the pile.

"James, lucky tee shirt." I replied while running out the door. I pushed open his door.

"Here Prongs." I chucked him the shirt and he caught it. He got dressed quickly and we finally made our way down to breakfast.

"Zee, what on earth were you doing this morning, I tried talking to you for 2 minutes before you finally answered me."

"Her and James were arguing about where he left his lucky tee shirt. So I intervened and told them to look at the last time she wore it which was before practice."

"Why, didn't they think of that in the first place?" she asked. He was getting ready to respond when his flavor of the week came by.

"Hey Sirius." She cooed. Lily and I exchanged a look both rolling our eyes.

"Hey Doll." He said back smoothly. It was a known fact that Sirius called all his girls doll. The nickname which he stole from me but refuses to admit! I said it first. It's also known that I call the boys I date doll too.

"Nervous for your game today?" she asked sweetly.

"Nothing a kiss can't cure, how about trying it darling?" Okay I think I may throw up the toast I just ate.

"Okay." She purred. I watched as she leaned in and they started snogging right there at the breakfast table! I made fake gagging noises and Peter laughed. Then Amy, the girl from Ravenclaw makes her way over to Remus. Of great another love exchange.

"Hey Rem." She said happily. I let out a breath, at least she didn't purr or have a pet name for him, Yet.

"Hey there Amy." He said smiling. She leaned forward kissing him on the cheek. "How are you this morning, sleep okay?" he asked.

"Sure did, what about you?" I droned out the rest of their conversation. I got up wordlessly to go sit with Wood and the other team members when suddenly someone got in my path. I looked up into the face of Mark Stevens.

"Stevens." I said coolly.

"Raes." He replied just as cold.

I raised my eyebrow at him, "Anything in particular you wanted?" Without saying anything he grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me hard on the mouth. My eyes were wide with shock. I couldn't even move. Finally the shock wearing down I pushed hard against his chest. At the same moment someone said "Oi!" When the kissed broke I was shocked to see that the person who shouted wasn't one of my boys but Oliver wood.

"Get off my player Stevens." He said coldly.

"Gladly, she wasn't that good anyway." I've never once tried to muggle fight before. It wasn't my area. I was much better at hexing. I left the fighting for the boys. But before I knew what I was doing I lunged to hit him on the mouth and I would have succeeded to if Wood hadn't grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back.

"Not good!" I screamed. "I'll show you good." I ripped myself out of Wood's arm thankful that the great hall wasn't filled with teachers or many students yet. I grabbed Stevens' face and pulled it violently towards mine and kissed him. I'd show him good. I opened his mouth with my own and before I knew it we were snogging. He responded immediately with my kiss. I was in control this meant nothing for me I was just proving a point. I pulled back with a smile tugging my lips.

"Not good huh? Seemed good enough for you." He was breathless and he didn't say anything as he turned and walked away.

I turned around and saw my friends and Wood staring at me, as was the rest of my quidditch team.

"What in the bloody hell was that Raes. Now you'll be distracted during the game! If you mess up-"

"Breathe, trust me that kiss didn't faze me at all." I smiled and went to sit back down and eat the rest of my breakfast. I felt all their eyes on mine and looked up,

"What?" I asked.

"You- What the hell was that!" James spluttered out.

"He tempted me James." I said simply.

"That doesn't mean you go and snog him senseless." Sirius said furiously.

"What were you thinking Zee, of wait that's right you weren't." Remus said. I looked at Peter waiting to know when he was going to chime in. He looked at me and cocked his head to the side.

"You didn't have anything to prove you know. You didn't even try kissing him back the first time so it didn't matter." Lily said.

"Well, he insulted me and since none of you were going to say anything while it was happening which was a first might I add. I did it for myself." I said firmly.

"Well, know I remember why we decided to say stuff on your behalf in the first place." Sirius muttered.

"Oh Sirius, why don't you leave her alone. Who cares if she snogged a guy, you act like she hasn't done it with a million guys." My eyes if they could popped out of my head. Before I did something I knew I would regret I stood up and walked began to walk out the door. I knew Oliver would already be at the pitch.

"See you." I said quickly. Once I reached the hall way I was sprinting. When I got to the pitch I sat there on the field waiting for the rest of our team to show. Why, why did I have to kiss him like that. Naturally Remus was right, I wasn't thinking. I tend to be a little impulsive.

Before I knew it, Wood at already said his speech and we were called out on the field by the announcer which was Remus. When we go into our positions in the air waiting while Madam Meyer read the rules. I turned and looked at Remus. I gave him a big wave and a big smile.

"Oh hello Xeomara Dear. Lovely day for quidditch don't you think?" He asked talking into the magical microphone so it was heard by the whole stadium.

"Yes, why yes it is Remus my dear old mate!" I screamed back to him.

"You better score a lot of goals Zee! You to James! I can't let those horrible Slytherins beat us!" I started laughing. He was talking to us as if we were sitting in the common room not in front of a whole stadium.

"Oh Professor, I'm sorry, I'll stop!" he said loudly to McGonagall. Finally the whistle was blown and we were off. I was racing alongside James who had the quaffle tucked under his arm. He paced it to me and I caught it just as a Slytherin knocked into me. The force caused my broom and to spin around but it didn't loosen my hold on the quaffle.

"That foul little git, If you hit Zee one more- okay I'm sorry. Raes has possession.-" I stopped listening and was started concentrating. I felt Sirius come up on my left side a knock a bludger that was aiming straight for my head out of the way. I throw the quaffle back to James but it was intercepted by Macnair.

"Dammit!" Remus cursed loudly.

I sped off towards the other end. He shots and he misses! Wood threw the ball to Edwards. I flipped my broom around and quickly caught the ball he threw at me. I then through it to James who scored! Loud screams erupted from the Gryffindor side. After me and James scored 5 goals each and 3 were scored by Slytherin the score was 100-30. And little Mary our new seeker who was up against snivelly had still yet to see the snitch! I was in possession again when someone else knocked into me hard.

Madam called for a penalty shot. I grabbed the quaffle and got ready. She blew the whistle and flipped my long hair over my shoulders. I threw the ball as hard as I could.

"She she shoots and Scores! Excellent job Zee!" Remus shouted.

And the everyone, me included turned to watch as they seekers were after the snitch. It was failing to the ground and Mary made a big dive and she, I don't believe it she caught it! We all flew to her as fast as possible and enveloped her in a team hug!

"Gyffindor Wins 270-30!"

"We Beat the Slytherin! We beat them!" Wood kept screaming. When we got on the ground I gave Sirius and James a hug. And Oliver surprisingly. He picked me up and swung me around before running off and snogging McKinnley.

"James!" I heard Lily yell. I turned to look as she flung herself into his arm and planted a huge kiss on his lips. The look on my face was probably priceless. Peter, Remus and Sirius who were at my side were completely stunned at watching them kiss. Next thing I knew Remus was also being kissed by Amy. It didn't even bother me. I was too happy at the thought of beating Slytherin.

The Next day in potions Slughorn wasn't too happy with his house loosing but agreed we played a great game. Defense was another story, When walked around collecting our essays that were due she stopped at where me and Remus were sitting.

"As a teacher I'm not allowed to choose sides of course, but I'm not going to lie and say I wanted to Slytherin to win. You won't tell will you?" she said smiling.

"Nope" we replied smiling back.

"Okay, Since the holiday's are coming up I think it's time for some practice. I will be calling out names for you to partner with. You will each get a turn up here dueling nonverbally on this stage I have set up. First pair Xeomara Raes and Narcissa Black." I looked over to see Sirius's cousin sitting with my cousin Maria. Yes Maria was in Ravenclaw but seeing as this was a NEWTS class everyone was added in. We got up the stage both at separate ends. "You will only disarm." The teacher added noticing our glares.

"Etes-vous effrayé ? Vous nastly le petit traitre de sang." She said coldy. The slytherins roared with laughter while me and Sirius who understood, scowled.

"De ne couler pas ! M'ai effrayé de vous ? vous devez plaisanter." I said back. Narcissa looked startled as did the rest of them. "Surely you haven't forgotten the family I came from have you? Don't be so shocked.

"You pathetic-" she started.

"Don't even dare speak about my family! You're not a part of it. Everyone must realize that your family hates you!" Maria shouted. Everyone looked shocked at this statement seeing as no one really knew about my family and I.

"Ah dear cousin. You speak the truth. But everyone also must know that I hate them as well. Oh and by the way, your mother seemed to like me." She grabbed her wand and pointed at me. "Don't make me laugh. I'll have you on your back in second."

"GIRLS! Enough! Get back to the duel!" Mrs. Lee shouted.

Narcissa turned to face me, her wand up and shout blue sparks at me. Oh playing dirty is she? I quickly deflected it with a flick of my wand and she stumbled backwards. I laughed as she started getting up blowing her long blonde hair out of her face. I quickly sent a spell at her which she blocked. Damn. Flipping my hair back I didn't wait before I shot another curse which put painful boils on her face. She yelled in pain and I laughed and she sent a curse at me cutting open my cheek.

"Damn you!" I yelled to her and with a swish of my wand was levitated in the air by her ankle. I dropped her quickly and she stood up. "Accio Narcissa's Wand!" I thought I opened my other hand as I quickly shot of another spell "Incarcerous!" and she was tied together by ropes that shot out of my wand as her wand finally fell into my waiting hand. The gryffindor's burst out in cheers. "Qui est pathétique maintenant?" I sneered.

Everyone else had they're turn to duel, Peter lost getting disarmed quite quickly. Lily also lost. But Remus, James and Sirius all won! As class was dismissed I was walking out the door when Maria brushed passed me hard knocking into my shoulder, Narcissa quick on her heels. "You'll pay for that cousin." She snarled. I just laughed.

"Bye dear cousin!" Sirius said cheerfully to Black.

"What was all that French about?" James asked.

I told him how she asked if I was afraid and called me a nasty little blood traitor and I said that I wasn't scared of her that she must be joking. Then after we dueled I said who's pathetic now.

"You really shouldn't pick fights with them. They're a nasty group of people." I gave her a look of disbelief.

"Of course they are Lils, they're support Voldemort! She's also my family. I can take care of her myself. And I'm not worried about Sirius's little cousin either! I can handle them." I told her.

"Yes, well if you get hurt don't come crying to me." She said sighing. James put his arms around her.

"Lils you act like me and Sirius would let something happen to her. We'll watch her."

"Good." She said before kissing him. I looked at Sirius and rolled my eyes.

"You know, I'm real happy you two finally stopped being so damn stubborn and got together. I mean it only took five years!"

"Oh very funny, Zee."

"She's right you know. You didn't have to listen to James complain at all hours of the day about how much he loved you and that you wouldn't give poor old Jamesie the time of day." James blushed at this.

"Come on Lily, Let's go." He grabbed her arm and pulled her away. I turned to Sirius and stared laughing, so did he at the blush James had on his face.

"Reckon we embarrassed him?" I asked regretfully.

"Yeah." He said also regretfully. The changed his tone, "Hungry?" he asked

"Starving."


	13. A Day of Parents

I own nothing but the OC'S! I Know I said Wood Snogged McKinnley, but that's also Maddies last name, her and her brother Edward are twins.

Chapter Thirteen- A day of Parents.

My two weeks of detention got cut short by the upcoming Christmas holiday, she didn't even bother to reschedule them. On the train ride home we were had more people sitting in our compartment as usual seeing as James was now dating Lils and Remus was dating that Amy girl. Sirius James, and Lily sat on one side while Peter, Amy and Remus sat on the other. I sat on the floor.

"My dad owled me last night while you were sleeping. He said were going there right from the train station." James said looking at me.

"Well this is going to be eventful." I said unenthusiastically. I leaned back my head and closed my eyes and the sounds of their conversations brushed over my head. Next thing I heard was,

"So stubborn she is." Sirius said and I felt myself being lifted up onto his lap. I meant to say something back but he was just so damn warm that I found myself drifting off again.

"Zee."

"Zee."

"ZEE!" Lily screamed. "Get dressed we're almost at the station!" I mumbled something and got of Sirius to get changed as everyone else did. Remus and his girlfriend were talking and she was laughing like some prissy little girl. Did I mention that I had a bad feeling about that girl? They're was just something I didn't like about her. When we all sat back down I didn't even bother going on the floor and just took my seat again in Sirius's lap and curled up against his chest. He sighed softly.

"Zee, are you nervous?" He whispered to me. I turned my head to face him.

"Do you want the truth?"

"Of course I do." He answered back.

"Then yes. I don't want you and James to watch this. I'm nervous about the way this might make you guys feel."

"Don't be stupid. Don't worry about James and I, it doesn't matter what we see, were not going to start acting differently." The train stopped and I got up slowly.

"Good luck." Said Lily hugging me. "Owl me later!" Her and James left the compartment first the rest of us following. When we stepped off the train we saw Remus's mum waiting for him. He kissed my cheek and wished me luck as did Peter when he saw his parents. James was introducing Lily to his dad and was in turn meeting Lily's parents. Sirius then grabbed my hand tightly. Looking at his questionably I saw that he wasn't looking at me but at something else. I followed his glaze and they landed on his parents. I knew that he hasn't seen his parents since he left home this summer. Regulus was walking over to them. At the same moment my face found theirs, his mother's eyes locked with his then mine. We both stood there stoned face as they walked over to us. I held his hand tighter in my own letting him know I was there.

"You-You worthless blood traitor." He mother said clearly pissed off.

"Oh very original mother, as if I hadn't heard that one before." Sirius said rolling his eyes.

"Don't you speak to your mother like that Sirius Orion. Disgracing the family name and then hexing your mother last summer! What is the matter with you. Have you gone mad! And look at you! Holding hands with that scum! You're a true Slytherin and no matter how much he try to act like you're not you always will be. Why can't you act more like your brother?" Before Sirius could open his mouth to say anything I stepped in.

"Scum?! Scum?! You think I'm scum! Has the Black family looked in the mirrors lately?! Disgracing the family name! HA! You disgraced it yourselves if anything. Following Voldemort, getting your fifteen year old son interested in being a death eater! And who in their right mind would want to be like Regulus who is to far stuck up your arses to have his own views! At least Sirius thinks for himself! And Sirius will never, ever be a Slytherin he was picked to be a Gryffindor because he _is _a Gryffindor!" I said narrowing my eyes.

"Why you! I will be speaking to your mother about this. Don't think we didn't here all about your little escape. I have half mind to hex you myself!" Walburga said.

"You hex her mother and you will get way more than what you got this summer!" Sirius said menacingly.

"Is there a problem?" I heard a voice ask and turned around to see James and His dad staring coldly at the Blacks.

"Why if it isn't James Potter. Took in my little blood traitor have you?" she asked.

"I didn't take in a blood traitor. Come on kids let's go." With that he turned on his heel, with us following not before I turned once more to glare at the Blacks. Stupid Gits! I hated them as much as I hated my own family. Mr. Potter suddenly stopped.

"Okay, first we are going to apparate but I will have to take one of you at a time seeing as you don't have your license yet. Zee, I'll send you and the boys' trunks home first and then I'll take you first." With a flick of his wand the trunks were gone.

"Um, dad we can all go at one time. We can apparate." James said quietly.

"I'm not even going to ask. Let's go." I turned on the spot feeling as though I was just crammed into a tiny space when with a loud crack I appeared in front of my large house. I looked at James and Sirius for reassurance before walking up the stone steps. Mr. Potter walking behind us. Without knocking I slammed open the door.

"Who in the hell!" I heard my mother scream. She walked into the living room and when she spotted me she said coolly, "Oh, it's you. I knew you'd come back. Stupid little girl."

"I haven't come back mother." I sneered, "I've come to get my things and I'm leaving. I had enough of your house and your pathetic pure blood mania." It was then that she noticed James Sr. behind me along with the boys.

"Ah James! And look you brought your son and who is that? Surely it isn't Walburga's son is it?" my mother said.

"I don't have a mother." Sirius said abruptly. She glared at him.

"Xeomara is living with us! I've wanted to for some many years. I knew she didn't belong here. I knew she wouldn't turn out like you!" Mr. Potter pointed a finger at her. "You are going to stand aside while we collect her things."

"Her things?! She doesn't own a dammed thing."

"I knew you never really paid me any mind but surely you had to realize that you haven't bought me anything since third year. Aunt Maryanne, yeah remember her, your sister. Well she left me a nice little fortune of money in her will. The lawyer was forbidden to tell you where her money went was he not? I remember you moping around and sighing because you thought her money was gone! Not because your sister was dead. But there I was laughing because I have it, she had two accounts one she shared with dear old Uncle Henry while the other held your parent's fortune. Slowly realizing how much money I have, aren't you?" I said looking at the shocked look on her face. "Your parents weren't poor everyone knew that! Let's just say I don't have to work for the rest of my life if I didn't want to!" I laughed, or more like sneered at her.

"You, how dare she! My own parents money, to you! A traitor. If she was alive right now I had half mind to kill her!" I rolled my eyes.

"Step aside mother, I need to get my things." She didn't move.

"You're lucky your father isn't home! You'd be getting way more than you got this summer. Think that hurt. Imagine the things he'd do to you now." The boys were still quiet listening as me and my mother argued back and forth.

"IS THAT A THREAT?!" I screamed taking out my wand and pointing it at her. "IS THAT A THREAT?!" I yelled again.

"No, it's a warning for what you're going to get."

"Don't you ever listen mother? I told you once and I'll tell you again. I'm not coming back! I'm not the little girl you can push around anymore. You push me, and I'll push you back! I'm past caring what you think! Now move aside!" When she didn't move I sighed. "You'll never learn. Stupefy!" I then screamed. She was thrown down to the floor as my spell hit her in the face knocking her unconscious.

"Useless she is, wonder how she ever made it through school, let alone being in Ravenclaw!" I muttered.

"Okay, we don't have much time. Boys, Zee upstairs!" James said. With that we were all running up the flights of stairs. I opened my door and ran into my closet grabbing my suitcase and filling it up with my clothes. Mr. Potter created a fire and put floo in there. Jane would be waiting on the other side for my things. After I filled up one suitcase I put it in the flames were it spun out of sight. Sirius was grabbing all my books and putting them in a bag. James took my shoes and Mr. Potter took my defensive things including sneakoscopes and such. After we cleared out most of my room James was pushing my towards the fire place. "You'll go first he told me." I was getting ready to step in when I saw the photo album sitting on my bed.

"Wait!" I said running to get it. After I picked it up without stopping walked right into the green flames. I was spinning and I felt myself fall forward landing onto the Potter's soft rug. Jane was there picking me up and hugging me tightly.

"I'm so glad your home." She said kissing my forehead. She pulled back and looked at me. "Oh Zee, your scar! What happened?" I was going to answer her when Sirius, then James, and then Mr. Potter appeared. She hugged them all and kissed they're cheeks telling them it was great they were home.

"What happened to your face!" she asked again.

"I well, you know the whole animagi thing and Remus?" why did I start off with that, of course she knew. She nodded "Well I've finally managed to change and well, there was an accident. Remus was a little keyed up and well he tried to claw James but I got in front and well this" I said pointing to my face "is nothing compared to my back."

"That's terrible, is Remus okay? I do know how he worries."

"He's fine." I assured her.

"Did you see your Parent's today Sirius?" she said turning to him.

"Oh, yeah. We exchanged a few words and Zee who couldn't help herself got quite loud with them." He said laughing.

"Well sorry! I couldn't just let them say those things! They piss me off."

"James, go show her the room she has. I need to talk to your mother." Mr. Potter said.

We walked up the stairs and to the room that was next to James' which weirdly enough I have never been in. I usually just sleep in his room. He opened the door and I gasped. The room was almost as big as mine at home with midnight blue walls and dark wood floors. In the middle was a king sized bed with curtains and a black comforter. There was a large bookshelf and a big desk against the wall. Two big windows that basically took up the wall from ceiling to floor. I then noticed to doors. One which I assumed to be a closet and the other was probably a bathroom.

"Wow, Mum really cleaned up the place. Last time I was in here it was just plain white with a little bed in here." I started running down the stairs. I heard a hey! And where you going but I ignored them. I found them sitting in the kitchen talking. I ran up to Jane and threw my arms around her and Mr. Potter both.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. You didn't have to do that for me. I don't deserve all that. I'm just grateful that you let me live here! Oh and Mr. Potter about what I said with the money and all, well once I turn of age I'm going to be-"

"Staying here." He cut me off. "You've always been a part of this family and you're going to stay. You're the daughter we always wanted. Don't ruin this fun for Jane." I laughed.

"You have no idea how grateful I am." I said looking into Jane's hazel eyes which were James' eyes. Sure James was the spitting image of his father, except for his eyes of course. He had no ounce of red hair on his head!

"I'm sorry it took so long, we've known for awhile how they've been but we couldn't do anything. We knew you weren't like them but Dumbledore told us we had to wait." Mr. Potter said.

"How did you know I was different and not my sisters?" I asked.

"Quite simple dear. You and James are basically the same person. You've always taken a liking to each other and we always said you could have been twins. Both with your dark hair and knack for getting into trouble. We always said you should have been born into this family." Jane said smiling at me.

"Thank you. Really." I said a little sadly.

"Not a problem dear, really. Go on, go unpack." She said shooing me out of the kitchen. I ran upstairs to my room and saw the James and Sirius were already attempting to put my things away.

"Oh, hey! Where did you go?" I turned to James.

"Just going to thank your parents, that's all." Then we were silent. We were hanging clothes up and organizing my books, hanging pictures on my walls. I opened the door I assumed to be for the bathroom and was surprised to find the same bathroom I always used.

"Yeah, we'll have to share a bathroom. See, my door is right on the otherside." He said pointing to the other door in the large bathroom. "I guess they assumed that we'd want to be close to you, instead of having you all the way on the otherside of the house."

"No, it's perfect." We made our way over to my bed and collapsed on it.

I rolled over and was shocked to find it was seven am. We must have fallen asleep after we laid down. Without waking them I walked quietly downstairs knowing that James' parents never woke up before eight. I called mina the house elf.

"Mina, I'm going to cook breakfast today, so you don't have to."

"Mina would love to cook for Miss Zee. Mina doesn't mind." She sqeaked.

"No, its quite okay. I want to do this."

"Well if miss is sure." Then with a crack she was gone. I walked around the kitchen and starting making a big breakfast. I stopped and set the table and then went to check on the pancakes. When the food was finally down I was setting it down on the table, filling three coffee mugs and two pumpkin juices when everyone walked in sleeply and rubbing they're eyes. I smiled at them.

"Oh! Good morning Maurie. Did you make this?" she said pointing to the homefries, pancakes, bacon and sausage.

"Yes I got up about an hour ago and decided to make breakfast." I said. They sat down and I took as seat between Padfoot and Prongs, my usual seat.

"You didn't have to do this, you should really get used to being served instead of doing the serving." She said referring to the fact that I was the cooker and cleaner in my house.

"No really!" I protested. "I feel like I should do something."

"Sirius lives here too and he doesn't feel like he should do something." Mr. Potter joked.

"Hey!" Sirius yelled. We all laughed and fell silent as we began to eat.

"Wow, I never knew you were a good cook!" Sirius said with his mouth full of bacon.

We spent a few hours with Mr and Mrs. Potter, telling them all about our jokes and pranks. I then decided it was time to finish my photo album so I went in my room and told them not to come in. I was going through picture, after picture trying to find the right spot for them. I laughed silently to myself while going through them. I'm so glad I had friends like them. I know I said it before but I'll say it again, if I didn't have them I don't think I would have made it. After many hours of slaving over this I looked at the finish project. Oh they are going to love this. I already had a spell on it that everything I added would duplicate on to their own copies, I wrapped them and they were ready to go. I then started to wrap their gifts, I was in the middle of wrapping Peter's broom when a large tawny owl tapped on my window, I recognized it as Lily's. I opened the window where it flew in and landed on my desk. I grabbed a few owl treats and let it relax for a little while. I took the letter and laid on my bed to read it.

_Dear Zee,_

_I hope you're doing well. I haven't heard from you yet and I couldn't stop myself from sending this letter from you any longer. I've been going mad worrying about you. I kept telling myself that if anything bad happened James or Sirius would have let me know but well…you know how I am. I'm sure you're just settling in. I've made plans to go to the Potter's sometime this holiday. I guess I'll just share a room with you. I was surprised my parent's okayed it. You know how over bearing my mum can be sometimes. My parents seem to have taken a liking to James._

_I'll becoming for the New Year's Eve ball the Potter's always host. I'm really excited I've never been to it before. Please, please write me back and let me know your okay._

_All My Love,_

_Lily_

New Year's Eve ball! How could I have forgotten! Just lovely, just real freaking lovely. I grabbed a piece of parchment to start scribbling my answer back to her.

_Flower,_

_Sorry I forgot to owl you. I've been trying to settle in. No need to alert the ministry, I'm quite fine. I'll tell you in detail how it went when I see you. I'm so excited for you to visit and of course you can room with me! Wait until you see it! Jane made it look so beautiful. It's all a lot to take in though, I'm still trying to get used to the fact that I'll never have to live in that house again. It just all seems too good to be true. Oh and thanks for reminding me of the ball. And I say that with all the sarcasm in the world. You know of my fear for dresses and such. Of course your parents have taken a liking to James, I talk good about him to them everytime I've stayed at your house. I was putting in a good word for later of course. Don't hex me for that one please, I wasn't pushing it, I was just simply guiding. I hope to see you soon!_

_With love,_

_Zee_

_Oh and by the way I'll be sending your Christmas present tomorrow, hope you enjoy._

I then walked back over to Lily's owl and attached my letter. I looked at the clock and found it to be quite late. I yawned as I walked into the bathroom to enter James and Sirius's room. I found them both already asleep. Blankets at the end of the bed, a book in James hand, and what looked to be a letter in Sirius's. I chuckled and walked over to James. I took the book from his hands and set in on the table, along with his glasses. I pulled the covers up and leaned forward and kissed his forehead.

Walking over to Sirius I thought I smelled a wiff of my potion but then realized I was probably still just driving myself crazy with thinking about it. I walked to him and picked up the piece of parchment off the bed and found another on the floor. I didn't read them just set them on the table next to his bed. I pulled the covers up and brushed his hair off of his forehead before kissing it. He then turned over abruptly, his grey eyes meeting mine.

"Zee?" he whispered tiredly.

"Sorry, to wake you. I was cleaning up a bit after you and James, looks like you both fell asleep in the middle of reading." I said also whispering.

"'S'okay. Sit with me." Without hesitation and I lay down next to Sirius on the bed. I rolled over on my side as he did the same so we were facing each other.

"Did you ever think about what would have happened if we, all of us never met?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was just thinking about how if I never had you guys, I was wondering if I would have turned out like my parents wanted me to. I like to think I would still be me even if we never met." I met his eyes trying to read them. They looked sad and uncertain.

"I think without James and you that I would have never gotten out of my what my parents wanted. I want to believe that I'd be me too, but it would have been hard because we were never taught anything else, or anything better." He said sadly.

"Yeah, your right." What would I have been like if I had been like my parents. Would I be a death eater, or would I just be on the sidelines like my parents. Or would I be dueling with the Gryffindors in the hall way and befriending the Slytherins? How could anyone live like that, with all that hate for no reason. Degrading someone for being who they are. How could anyone be that way. I knew I didn't know the answer, no one probably did. It was one of those unanswered questions in life.

My thoughts were interrupted, "Xeomara, are you okay? You've been quiet for the last five minutes." I wasn't sure how to answer that. Did I tell him the truth or should I tell him I'm fine. I thought this over for a few seconds when I decided he deserved the truth.

"No." I said quickly. "But I will be."


	14. Christmas,Birthdays,and New Years

I own nothing but the OC'S

Chapter fourteen- Christmas, Birthday's and New Years.

MMM, turning over I sank deeper into the pillow where my head was laying and smelled the most wonderful thing I've ever smelled. That was it! I thought immediately this was my potion. I knew I was awake but not fully enough to open my eyes or even move but I knew that where I was, I was smelling this scent and I never wanted it go away. If I could stay here forever I would. I vaguely remember a conversation James and I had about my potion, I told him that my potion would always be a mystery because even though I knew this scent and smelled it often I could never put my finger on where I know it from. I actually started to believe that I made it up in my mind.

"Zee?" I moaned softly as the scent began to fade away from me being over powered by another scent.

"Zee?" Why is that I can never wake up without anyone saying my name. I rolled over and opened my eyes slowly. James was standing over top of me with a slight smile on his face. I rolled my eyes and turned back around with every intention of falling back asleep, maybe I would dream about that scent again.

"Oh no you don't!" I heard Sirius say. Damn him, why can't they just leave me alone and let me sleep!

I heard them laugh out loud and when Sirius said "Damn me? What did I do? And why the hell would she still want to sleep its Christmas!" After he said that I was absolutely sure I said that out loud when I didn't mean to. What?! Christmas!

I sat up so fast that I knocked my head against James who was getting ready to attack me I'm guessing.

"Ow." I muttered. "Today's Christmas! Why didn't you say so in the first place" I said happily while rubbing my head. Sirius just laughed and pushed Prongs out of the way and helped me up. We walked downstairs and first sat down to eat breakfast. After breakfast we went to go open our presents.

"Zee?" I heard James ask while I began to open up a present Remus had gotten for me. I turned to him and raised an eye brow.

"What in the bloody hell is this?" he said holding up a mirror. I smiled and then looked as Sirius held up the other one.

"Hold on, I'll explain!" I said running up the stairs. I reached into my desk and pulled out a mirror identical to the ones the boys have.

"Sirius Black and James Potter!" I yelled into it. And I saw a line split in half on the mirror. James face was in one and Sirius's was in the other. They were both wearing a look of disbelief on their faces.

"Hey guys!" I said

"This is, brilliant! Where on earth did you find it!" Sirius asked.

"I found it in that weird invention shop in Diagon Alley. I asked the man what it was and he explained it, I thought it would be perfect for when we were put in separate detentions." I then remembered Jane was down there and heard her exclamation of What Detentions? "I mean uh, when we are in our separate dorm room and we need to talk." I said thinking quickly.

"Wow, Zee this present definitely beats out the present I got for you!" James said laughing.

"Oh, who cares! This thing is amazing!" I said laughing.

After returning downstairs, I finished opening Remus' gift which was a defensive spells book, oh Rem I thought this is perfect! Sirius had gotten me a hug supply of prank products which was a great gift especially for the simple fact that me and pranking were best friends! Jimmy got me this weird box thing with a magical lock. He told me it was a way to keep everyone out of my stuff I wanted hidden and it would open only for me. Now this was a perfect gift. Peter got me all of my favorite candies since he knew I could live on them alone. And lastly Lily gave me this white gold charm bracelet that jingled slightly when I walked. It had pictures and all other sorts of things I loved.

James, Sirius and I gathered up all our gifts to take to our bedrooms. When I got to mine I noticed my parents family owl sitting on my bed. I laughed as I thought of what was going to happen next. They looked at me questionatly. Suddenly the howler burst open.

"XEOMARA RAES! YOU COME HERE AND SET US RIGHT NOW! YOU AND YOUR DAMN PRANKS THINKING YOUR SO FUNNY! YOU INSOLENT LITTLE GIRL. YOUR LUCKY YOUR AT THE POTTERS RIGHT NOW AND ARE QUOTE PROTECED WELL UNQUOTE! I'VE LOOKED FOR HOURS FOR A COUNTERSPELL AND CAN'T SEEM TO FIND ONE. NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY UNDERSTAND ME YOU NASTLY LITTLE TRAITOR!" letter then ripped itself apart and fell onto my floor. By the time the letter was finished I was laying on my floor clutching my stomach as tears from laughing so hard poured down my face.

"What are you laughing about." Sirius asked at the same time James asked "What did you do?" After controlling my laughter enough so I could speak I started.

"Well, I just might have played a little prank on my mother, father and sister." They both raised they're eyebrows. "I sent them a letter knowing that my parents always read them first. I told them that I understood them a little better and was feeling quite sorry for running out on them and that all things considering this present would become useful. When they opened the box three black balls would float out of the box and would only blow up when they were eye level with the intended victim. Then magical paint, a color of my choice would blow up on them and well cause they're faces and any other touched my the paint to stay there for a month. I pity not being able to see my parents and sisters walking around they're face painted for Gryffindor!" I then started laughing again and this time Sirius and James joined in.

"Nice one, Zee. Wish you would have told me, I would have loved to send one of those to my dear old mum." Sirius laughed. We were interrupted by Mrs. Potter screaming that someone was here to see me. I knew it wasn't one of our friends seeing as Peter was in Germany for the holidays and Remus was coming until tomorrow.

Upon reaching the living room and seeing the face of my eldest sister, I whipped out my wand and pointed it at her face. She looked shocked as I walked closer to her, my wand still pointed at her. I heard James gasp and Sirius curse under his breath.

"Now wait just a minute Xeomara!" Mr. Potter screamed. "Don't go hexing her, maybe you should here her out before you do!"

I looked at her not dropping my wand. "Go on, explain." I said in a detached voice.

"Before I explain anything let me tell you, that I am nothing like our dear parents." I was about to protest when she commanded "Don't interrupt me just listen! No matter how I act or what I do. I don't believe in the same things as they do. I cannot stay long but I need to ask you something first. Have you ever heard of the Order of the Phoenix?" Amanda asked me. I starred at her, of course I have. I read about it in the prophet every morning, but I never perceived them to be real and I told her so.

"The order of the phoenix is an organization founded by Albus in hopes of defeating the Dark Lord and his followers. We already have quite I few numbers on our hands and had one too many clothes calls with deaths. Where some were lucky, other were not and we are in need of new numbers." She looked at Mr. and Mrs. Potter before speaking again. "Jane and James are members. As is Mrs. Lupin. I and my Husband are also members."

"What, Mum? Dad?" James questioned. They nodded solemnly. My sister continued on.

"I may have been placed in Ravenclaw like the rest of our wretched family but it was not for the things they were put in for. I was told by the sorting hat myself I had a smartness my parents did not. I learned to live the right way by my husband who was doing the same. So when our parents matched us up we couldn't have been happier seeing as we decided not to mention to our parents where our real loyalties lied. I was picked up a few months after my graduation. Even though I've been branded with this," She said pointing to thing on her forearm. I leaned forward and saw the dark mark and pulled back in disgust. "I am not more a death eater than Dumbledore, I turned spy for the order and have been feeding them information on Voldemort for years." I was thinking over what I she's told me and so far it makes sense. The order, spying for Dumbledore but I can't get the vision of the dark mark on her arm out of my head. My wand still raised I looked at her, starring into her black eyes.

"How do I know your speaking the truth?" I asked coolly.

"I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Potter will tell you. You can even ask Dumbledore himself!" she said. I looked to them for reassurance and when I received I lowered my wand in defeat.

"Okay, so you told me about the order and everything else. But what has this got to do with me?" I asked.

"Everything Xeomara, Everything." She said back. "I told you before we needed more numbers and so here I am to recruit you. Dumbledore was going to explain this to you and ask you after you finished school but I being your sister told him that I wanted you to know and we argued for quite sometime until he knew there was no way around keeping you from knowing and he thought you were to young and wanted to shield you from the truth." She was cut off my Jane.

"He's right! She is too young! Think clearly now Amanda, this your sister who hasn't even come of age yet! She's still in school! Can't you at least wait until she graduates to thrust her into this great war. What can you expect her to do against the death eaters, and if she's unfortunate Voldemort himself!"

"You're not her mother, and James you are not her father. I am her family by blood and I think I have the right to decide if I let her join or not."

"One, let's not speak about me as if I'm not in the room. Two I decide things for myself! I have my own thought and own mind to follow. And Amanda you may be blood related but I have never known you as a sister. You did not treat me as such and they are my family. They are more a family to me then I am your sister. I'm sorry to say that and I don't want to hurt you but it's the truth. Though I do thank you for telling me this and I want to hear more." I said confidently. I turned to Jane and James and smiled at them. They smiled back.

"Alright fair enough, this is your decision. It is your choice and your choice only if you want to join or not." I thought about what she was offering me. I chance to fight for what I believe in. To help save the world so that everyone can live again without terror of walking home and seeing the dark mark hanging high above their roof knowing what they would find inside. This was also a chance to prove myself, to show my parents and every other dark wizard that I was nothing like my family. To show Voldemort himself that I didn't fear him and never would and that I would never under any circumstances join him. I opened my mouth to give my answer when Mr. Potter said,

"Now before you give your answer, I want to tell you about what your risking. You will be dueling against grown wizards who are skilled highly in the dark arts. You will be hit with curses you have never seen before that could do anything from burning your insides to torturing you inside your mind. It is very dangerous even for us and we are some of the ministry's top auror's. And you are still sixteen years old! You could die. Think about what it would do to James, Sirius, Peter, Remus, Lily and us if you did. Please think this through." He turned away from me as I opened my mouth to speak. I knew what I said next would hurt him, hurt them but I knew it my heart what I was meant to do and this, fighting dark wizards was it.

"I'm in." I said simply.

"NO!" I turned and saw James and Sirius standing on their feet with a look of pure terror on their faces.

"Please." I begged. "Please understand. I have to do this. If I think about it, I was never really given a choice. Voldemort is after me to join his side. Either I stand by and let myself get killed or I fight and take down as many dark wizards as I can. I have to do this. I want nothing more than to get revenge for all of those innocent people who have had family killed for no reason other than simply have muggle blood. It makes me sick and I can't just sit by and watch it anymore." They nodded. They looked at each other for a moment as if have a silent conversation. When James starred at me I knew what he was going to say next.

"We're in too." He said firmly.

"No! You're not doing this James, Sirius! You guys have a chance, you have choices. Don't do this!" I yelled tears filling up my eyes.

James' parents didn't say anything as they watched our argument.

"I am doing this! Do you think I could just let you go out there alone? You think I don't want to fight? You think I don't want to prove to the world that I am not a Black?! You think I have a chance? Well you're wrong. Just like you I have no choice and even if you say I can't do it, even if you say you won't talk to me. I'm still going to do it because I know it's the right thing to do." I looked into Sirius' eyes and knew he was speaking the truth.

"Mauire, I want to help." James said sadly. "You are my bestfriend, we always stick together. I want to fight and be there just as much as you. I'm sticking by you and were doing this together. You, Me, and Sirius. We'll have your back and you'll have ours. Just like it's always been and like it will always be. I know you'd have my parents and other member to watch over you. But I'd feel much better doing it myself. You know how I get." I laughed a little as he said the last part. I knew they were right. And I knew nothing I said would make them change their minds.

"Okay." I said then turned back to face my sister. James and Jane looked happy yet disappointed at the same time.

"Excellent, you three were wanted by Dumbledore anyway. I'll let him know now." She got up to leave when-

"No, I don't understand why now? I can't stop them for making they're own decisions James and Sirius are of age and Maurie will be on January first. But let them graduate first, let them learn. There will be no use for them yet if they aren't fully educated. We'd have to watch them carefully, think of the distractions they'd be. And then after they graduate, let them join." Mrs. Potter said. Amanda thought this over for a moment in her head. Then she hung her head.

"Your right of course. I won't be able to come and visit you. And I know I haven't been much of a sister but I will be one day. When all of this is over." She said sadly. "Until graduation then." She said and then disapparted before I could say anything else.

"Mum, Dad? You're really members? What is it like?" James asked interested.

"Like nothing you've ever seen before. James, I don't wish to discuss this with you yet. Please go upstairs, we'll call you down for dinner." She said the turned away from us. We all got up slowly and made our way into James room the only sound was from my charm bracelet jingling on my wrist. We all sat down on James and myself on his bed and Sirius across from us on his. We all sat there for a moment not sure what to say.

"We won't die." Sirius said speaking up. "We won't I won't let it happen to either one of you and I know you won't let it happen to me. We'll be okay. Everything will get better one day. We'll be okay." He said again as if trying to reassure himself.

"We'll stick together. Whatever happens okay? I won't leave you, either of you." I said. I know it was silly to talk about this now but we were thinking of what was to come. And we knew nothing good would happen.

Christmas dinner, though good was very quiet. Laying in bed that night I kept thinking about my sister's visit, I didn't know what to make of it. I wanted to do this more than anything but the more I thought about it, the more scared I got. What if I lost James? Sirius? What would I do? I tried picturing my life without them and I can't.

The next day I woke up in James' bed which is funny because I knew I fell asleep in mine. I looked up and saw that James and Sirius were both staring at different walls, deep in thought.

"Hey." I said softly. They both shook their heads clearing they're thoughts.

"Hey" they said together, in the same tone I used.

"Well, uh I know I fell asleep in my bed so what am I..?" I started.

"Well, um you had a nightmare I'm guessing and we found you in your room thrashing around your bed. When we woke up you looked at us and said Thank Merlin, you're alive." Sirius said.

"And we didn't want to leave you in there so I picked you up and brought you in here with us." James finished for him.

I tried remembering the dream where I lost my two bestfriends but I couldn't, I guess my thoughts must of turned into my dreams seeing as that was the last thing I thought about.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Remus poked his head through. At the sight of our friend we all smiled and on some unspoken agreement decided not to tell him about what happened yesterday.

"Remmie!" I screamed getting up and throwing myself at him. He hugged me back and smiled.

"I loved the dark detectors. Though I'm slightly curious to how you got them seeing as you're not of age yet." He said.

"With a little help from Professor Dumbledore dear old Moony." I said smiling brightly.

"Dumbledore?" he said and I nodded. "Hey guys, Sirius thank you so much for the chocolate, you know how I am and James those prank books, Perfect!" he said laughing. We talked a little while, Remus telling us about his Christmas.

"I know Peter's not here, but he sent me a letter thanking me for the broom I got him and told me that I had permission to unveil the album without him. But I sent him his copy." They all looked at me excited. I went into my room and got three neatly wrapped albums and handed them to my boys. They ripped open there wrapping paper and opened to the front page. They all laughed, while reading the introduction page I wrote.

"Is this really what you think of me Zee, You really think I'm good looking?" James asked cheekily.

"Oh James, don't act as if you don't know it." I said shaking my head.

"And you really think I'm and arrogant prat?" he said grinning.

"Sure do." I answered.

"So I'm the sensible one am I?" Rem asked.

"Of course, you are Moony. We all know it." Sirius said the added "You really think I'm arrogant, egoistical, and the biggest bloody prat anyone will ever meet?" he said wearing the same grin as James.

"I wouldn't have wrote it if it wasn't true."

"I'm so honored." He said all of us laughing.

"Oh and by the way, you're lucky if you weigh 98 pounds soaking wet!" Sirius said.

"And you sure are arrogant and conceited." James said.

"Though you seem to have deflated your head a bit this year. Just a bit." Remus added. "You have really dated as many guys yet." Sirius tensed and I looked at him curiously then shook my head of what I knew I was about to think.

"Yeah well, when you look like I do right now, you wouldn't be dating around either." I said sulking.

"Oh you know your beautiful Zee, Everyone knows it." Sirius said soothingly. James and Remus both nodded and I shrugged my shoulders.

Remus was staying with us for the rest of the holiday's. The next few days we were planning pranks and such for when we got back and just sat around having laughs and talking about good times.

I was woken up slightly by the smell of my potion again but I was still sort of dreaming. In my dream I was kissing someone but I was watching from afar but I knew it was still me. I walked closer and when he moved his head slightly to the left I was shocked to find that it was Sirius! Sirius! Why was I kissing him! He is my bestfriend. I was trying to think of why it was wrong to kiss him but the smell of my potion was so intoxicating that I couldn't think of anything else. I felt myself being shaken out of my dream by something. I opened my eyes and saw Sirius. I screamed and fell out of my bed onto the floor. My heart racing. And I wasn't sure if it was because I was scared or the dream I just had. The dream. And suddenly everything made sense. Sirius gave off the smell of my potion. I was attracted to Sirius! No, he's my friend. It's stupid to think that. I looked up and saw that Lily, Sirius and Remus were laughing. James knew something was up and was giving me a look but- wait Lily?

I jumped up quickly and tackled her into a hug. "Flower! I missed you!" I said hugging her tightly.

"Do you know what today is Zee?" she asked. What was today? Monday wasn't it? Everyone looked at my incredulously.

"December 31 first. New Years Eve, Your Birthday at exactly twelve am tonite!" she said excitedly. I groaned.

"Damn, your stupid new years parties James. Now I have to wear a dress." I said scowling.

"Oh quit complaining Zee! Let's go dress shopping!" she added happily. My eyes widened in fear.

I looked at the boys, "Save me!" I pleaded.

But they were already walking away, "Sorry, no can do!" James said loudly. I sighed and got ready to go dress shopping.

When we reached diagon alley she began pulling me into every store that had dresses in them. Finally Lily found a long gold dress,that she looked beautiful in, it didn't quite reach her ankles but it was longer than most dresses. It tied under her boobs with a big bow in the back. It had little sleeves than hung off her shoulders. It took me another half hour to find my dress. I settled for a midnight blue dress that flowed down to my feet. It was strapless and hugged my tiny waist line. This dress was different from the short ones my mother normally made me wear. Lily said I looked elegant. I sighed thinking that I would have to actually where this in front of people tonight. I always dreaded this night only because I would attend this party. But none the less it was still my birthday.

Lily and I had just enough time to get showered and do our hair. Lily tied her hair up in a French twist with little wisps of hair framing her face. While I left my down and let it flow down my back, covering the top of the scar. I know my face can't be covered but they didn't need to see my back as well. I put on light makeup the same as always and walked into the boys room while Lily was finishing up getting ready to make sure they were decent.

"Boys, you better have started to get ready." I said as I walked in the room. I open my mouth to say something but stopped dead when I saw the looks on they're faces.

"You look beautiful, love." Sirius said from wearing he was standing. Trying to adjust his tie. I sighed walking over to him and began fixing and retying it the right way.

"You really do Maure, I don't know why you don't like dressing up." James added.

"The boys will be all over you tonight. We're going to have to keep a close eye."

I laughed and waved off their compliments. I went around and fixed both Remus' and James ties. I stood them in a line and stared at them making sure they looked good, and they really did. All of them in their black dress robes and different color ties. Their hair falling into their eyes. James as unkempt as ever. Sirius's who's was always in soft curls and Remus' who hair was pin straight.

"You guys look great! I'm not thick I know good looking blokes when I see one." I said smiling. I then found myself starring at Sirius' full lips and shook my head. Dammit! I am not attracted to him. Lily then walked in and Prongs' jaw dropped. She did look beautiful. Without saying a word he walked up to her and kissed her deeply.

"Well it shows how good James thinks she looks, doesn't it?" I asked them over the sounds of flower's and Prongs' snog. They just laughed.

The party was in full swing. Everyone dancing and drinking, including us. All of us feeling slightly tipsy were sitting outside getting some fresh air. True their words the boys did keep a close on me all night as I danced with various different guys. All that didn't seem to mind the scar on my face. But my mind wouldn't get off of the dream I had. I closed my eyes trying to focus and refocus my eyes.

"Zee? Hey Zee." Sirius slurred. I laughed at his voice as a drunken person would. "listen to that. They're counting down the new year." And they were I could hear them. 29,28,27.

"26 seconds til your birthday." We all started counting down the New Year with the rest of the party.

"3,2,1. Happy New Year!" Everyone coursed. James and Lily were snogging again and I found myself in a three way hug with Remus and Sirius. The both kissed me on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday Zee!" they said together. Realizing what that meant I pulled out my wand now able to do magic(legally) out of school and sent up blue fireworks with my wand. James and Lily pulled apart and both hugged me wishing me a happy 17th. The rest of the night was filled with more dancing and finally we all collapsed. James and Lily in his bed while me and Remus slept on the floor. Sirius was in his own bed. Before I went to sleep I thought, this is the start of New Year. Anything could happen.


	15. James and Sirius

I Own nothing but the OC'S

Chapter fifteen-James and Sirius.

We arrived at the Hogwarts express that Wednesday and boarded the train. Lily, James, Sirius and I were all squished on one of the long train seats, while Remus was on the other with his "girlfriend". Peter still wasn't here.

"Where is Peter?" I asked. "The train leaves in two minutes!" I felt Sirius shrug next to me and I tensed as his shoulder touched my own. If he noticed anything he didn't ask.

"Hmm, I'm not sure where he is. I hope he gets here soon because-"

The compartment door burst open which was usually a sign to announce lily entering but this time I knew it wasn't seeing as lily was here. In walked Snape and Malfoy.

"Ah, look at mudblood Evans and Potter looking all cozy." Everyone tensed as he said this. My hand inched towards my wand. He noticed.

"Not thinking about hexing me are you Xeomara dear? I talked to your mother over break, quite the charming women beautiful as well. Shame her face was painted in the ghastly maroon color." I felt the familiar sensation of my blood boiling. I was so angry I couldn't even speak. "Ah the great Xeomara Raes finally speechless, what as the world come to I wonder."

"Lucius is there a reason you're here?" Lily asked with feigned politeness. He looked simply disgusted. Snape opened his mouth to answer.

"Don't talk to him Mudblood." I looked him and his eyes locked with mine. I didn't see any hatred only sadness but I was clueless as to why. Just when I was putting my finger on it I heard "Stupefy!" Snape crashed to the floor and I saw Peter standing behind him his wand pointed where Snapes' back was.

"Damn git, he was in my way." Before Malfoy could even raise his wand at Peter I finally whipped out my wand and stunned him.

"Bloody hell Pete! That was brilliant!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I don't understand why Lucius always picks on Lily." Amy said

"Isn't it obvious?" I said. Remus shot me a warning look and I fell silent. I pointed my wand to the two idiots on the floor and levitated them out of the compartment and then flicked my wand and the door slid shut. I then looked to lily.

"Hey Flower, you alright?" I asked softly.

"Of course, I just wished I would have hexed him before Peter got the chance. I was just about to. Thanks a lot Peter, you ruined all my fun!" Lily said while laughing. Everyone just stared at her in shock. Sirius spoke first.

"You, Lily Rose Evans," he stopped and added on Potter she rolled her eyes at this and then continued, "Were going to hex snivelly? You never hex other people, well besides James but you haven't really done that in a while so, but anyway-"I cut of his babbling.

"What Padfoot was getting to was what suddenly made you change your mind to break a rule and hex someone miss future head girl?"

"I could hardly let you all stand up for me all the time could I? And besides Jane taught me an important message, what's life without a little mischief?" James smiled widely at Lily when she said this and leaned into kiss her on the lips. I knew it was only because his mum took such a liking to the Lily and he was happy. Usually I would look to Sirius when this happened to make a snide comment but as of late I was trying to avoid looking him in the eye after my strange dream. I knew it was wrong there was no way I could love him.

"Peter! I've missed you! Later on tonight we'll have to have a marauders meeting and we can all look at the album together seeing as you weren't there the first time!" He nodded and all the boys grinned. "How was Germany anyway?"

"Oh it was pretty wicked. My mum and dad brought me to all these muggle war spots to look at. It was pretty sad I guess. But I'm sure none of you know anything about world war two, except Lily you might?" He added on.

"Oh sure! My grandfather served in War World II. He used to tell my stories about it all the time. I'm really jealous that you got to see that Peter! I've always wanted to go." Lily said frowing.

I just shook my head. "How do muggles kill people without wands?" Amy asked. I raised both of my eye brows.

"Are you quite sure you're in Ravenclaw?" I asked. Remus shot me another warning look. "Oh alright, sorry." I said.

"Well sorry, miss I know everything! Though you obviously can't be much smarter, seeing as you're the only one in your family that didn't make it into Ravenclaw. Maria told me so!" she snapped. I heard Lily gasp loudly.

"Why you little snotty-" James put his hand over her mouth and held her arms down while she made a motion to get up and smack her. I stood up quickly and no one made a move to hold me down. Though Remus did look quite nervous. But I had no intention of hitting her. If Remus liked her then I would not get in his way.

"I'm going for a walk." I reached up for my trunk and pulled it down roughly from the shelf. I was so mad that when I looked at the glass it shattered into a million little pieces. I was a little shocked seeing as it's been a long time since I had no control over my magic. I stepped through the open door not even bothering to step over the two slimy gits on the floor and without turning back I walked forward. Every intention of finding an empty compartment somewhere I could get myself under control. I finally found one on the complete other side of the train and slid in, I closed the blinds so no one could get in and placed a silencing charm over the door way. This was just all too much suddenly every suppressed feeling I've ever had came back to me. All the stuff my parents put me through, all the times Snape and those slimy slytherins called lily a mudblood, When my sister came back and told me about the order of the phoenix and how she has that vile dark mark on her left arm, the times were I was so jealous about James for having the perfect life and perfect family, How my sister would stand by and laugh every time my parents would torture me, When Walburga stunned me, and last but not least the situation that just happened. All these years of things happening to me just finally caught up, it was all just too much I couldn't handle it anymore so I let out a scream of rage and began muttering swear words at the same time l was throwing my things around the compartment in complete fury.

"My damn Mother and father! I hate them, I really hate them!" After a while of cursing my parents I went and decided to curse Amy, I was breathing heavy my chest heaving up and down and my whole body was shaking. "Stupid, Bloody Ravenclaw! Never met anyone so stupid in my life! Me? Stupid ha!" I said. "I'll show her stupid, insolent little girl. Lucky Remus likes her, or I would have-"The door then opened slowly and the person froze and began looking over the compartment. I then took the time to look around myself. My clothes were thrown everywhere; Ink was splattered on the walls, windows, and seats. Quills were sticking to the seat which I had thrown at like darts. And books were all over the floor with the pages ripped out. Yes let's say it's been a long time since I let myself get this angry. Actually it's been the first time I have ever been this mad in my life. I could never do this at my house because if I did I knew what would happen. I always suppressed my feelings, I was never allowed to get mad like this and it felt good. So good in fact that I fell to the floor laughing my head off, tears from laughing so hard poured down my cheeks. I didn't know who opened the compartment and I didn't care, all I cared about is how good it felt to finally get mad.

I heard the compartment door shut and felt someone kneel down beside me. The person touched my shoulder that was still shaking with laughter. "Zee?" I heard the person say. I knew that voice and I immediately stopped laughing. Everything I didn't care about a few seconds ago came rushing back like a tidal wave. To say I was embarrassed for someone to find me like this was an understatement. I've never done something like this ever, and for Sirius to find me like was terrible. I stood up not meeting his eyes and began cleaning the room and repairing my things while blinking back tears. I didn't know why I felt the need to cry but I just know I did. He didn't say anything; he just took out his wand and helped. After my trunk was repacked and the compartment was cleaned I sank into the chair, my head down looking at the floor still nervous to meet his eyes.

I felt to finger go underneath my chin and Sirius raised my face to meet his. Still blinking fast I met his eyes. His eyes were sad and worried. They didn't judge me and they didn't patronize me. Suddenly my walls broke and I crumpled. Sirius reached forward and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I started to cry so hard, in fact I'm sure I never cried like this in my whole life. My shoulders were shaking with gut wrenching sobs and tears were pouring down my face. I then found that I couldn't breathe and was fighting so hard just to take a single breath.

"I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" I cried out. He didn't say anything and he didn't move to help me breathe. Didn't he understand? I was going to die if I didn't breathe. I still tried so hard just to make myself breathe normally. My chest was rising and failing quickly and I was still sobbing loudly. When was this going to stop? My chest hurt so badly and my throat was raw. But it didn't stop, I was wondering if I was ever going to stop. He held me tighter as if trying to hold my broken body back together again. I didn't understand what was happening to me. "Make it stop! Please!" I begged, but to no avail it didn't stop. I tried to stay calm and to keep myself from shaking but it was so hard. Finally after what could have been hours I felt my eyes go dry and found that it was easier to breathe. My breathing slowed down, but I was still shaking. Sirius still didn't let go of me and I didn't push him away. I moved my shaking arms and put them around his waist bringing him closer to me. He unwrapped my arms from around him and then shifted me so I was sitting on his lap, cradled against his chest.

His hand wiped the hair from my face along with my left over tears. "Can you breathe now, love?" he whispered softly. And then I found I could. My breathing was completely back to normal. I've never felt so alive in my life. It felt as if the last few years I've been walking around with a haze over my head and even at the risk for sound cliché I've never had everything feel so clear.

"Yes." I croaked back. "What- What happened to me?" I asked uncertainly.

"You mean you don't know?" he asked

"I've never felt that way before, not one time." He smiled sadly.

"You were crying Zee." He said simply. "Not just tears running down your face or the little sobs I've seen you do before. You were really crying." He added on. "What happened?"

"I just couldn't- I just couldn't do it anymore Sirius!" I said loudly. "Everything, everything I ever felt just came back and hit me. The reason I was laughing," I started looking up and starring in his eyes. "Was because I never got that mad before I've never been allowed to feel mad. I've always just suppressed it, suppressed everything and it felt good. If I would have known how good it felt to be that mad I would have down it years ago. Sure I've been mad before but I never felt it like that. I can't understand how I felt. I thought about everything my parents did to me, and all the times the slytherins called lily a mudblood and your mother hexing me, my sister laughing, and my other sister a double agent and the order of the phoenix and how I was lied to for most of my life. I just couldn't do it anymore." I finished still looking at him.

He looked extremely grave and sad. "I wish you never had to go through all that. I wish that you could have just lived a normal life, and that nothing bad ever happened to you. I wish I could that I would have done it for you. But I have. I've lived the same life you have and I've already gotten over it. I've felt that angry already and didn't hide how I felt. I never suppressed anything. I never needed too, and you shouldn't have either. You're supposed to feel Zee. What you did was kept everything to yourself for six years. You never let it hurt you, just pushed it away. You can't hide from problems. They'll only hurt more when you face them."

"I don't know how to live any other way." I told him. He just sighed and leaned my head back down against his chest.

I stayed there like that sitting quietly and laying my head on his chest. We only had one interruption and that was Lily who brought Sirius's trunk and set it on the floor and left without even saying anything. The train began to slow and that is when I finally got up and pulled the mirror out of my trunk. I looked horrible. My eyes were puffy and blood shot and my face and neck were blotchy. I covered up the marks on my face and brushed my hair. We both got changed into our school robes. Still not speaking to each other. I just didn't know what to say. Finally the train stopped and he moved to go out the compartment door when I stopped him.

"Thank you." I told him.

He smiled down and me and kissed my cheek. "You have nothing to thank me for." He said seriously. I smiled back and we walked side by side to go meet up with our friends.

Dumbledore welcomed us all back and told us he hoped we all had a wonderful Christmas. I smiled at James as he said this. Finally after his speech the food appeared at our table and I found myself not hungry. Everyone else began eating.

"Aren't you going to eat stripes?" Peter asked.

"Nah wormy, I'm not too hungry today." I said smiling reassuringly at him.

"Are you feeling okay Maurie? You're not sick are you?" James asked sharply.

"No Jimmy, I'm feel fine." I looked at Sirius as I said this and he nodded. "I'm just not hungry that's all." He looked from me to pads curiously for a second before giving in a nodding. I felt someone's glaze on me; I looked up and was met with amber eyes. He looked at me apologetically. "Xeomara? I'm so sorry, I-"he broke off not sure what to say.

"Moony, it's okay. You didn't say it. So don't apologize and besides I brought it on myself anyway I shouldn't have made a comment about her being too stupid to be in Ravenclaw." I said.

"But, Zee? You didn't say she was too stupid you just asked her if she was sure she was a Ravenclaw." Lily said.

"Really? Oops, well that's what I was thinking." I said smiling apologetically now at Remus. He just rolled his eyes and laughed. "Let's just forget about this, yeah?" I questioned. They all nodded in agreement. After the feast was over and everyone began filing out I heard a voice behind me, "Mr. Potter, Miss. Raes, and Mr. Black would please come here a moment?" I turned around and met the piercing blue eyes of the Headmaster. We walked over to the head table and stopped in front of him.

"I find myself wishing for a cockroach cluster." James and Sirius raised their eye brows. "Meet me there." He added quietly.

"Yes sir." I smiled at him. I turned around and my boys and I made our way to Dumbledore's office. We reached the gargoyles and I said "Cockroach Cluster." It opened and we walked up and sat in the three chairs in front of his desk.

"What do you think he wants?" James asked.

"Probably to talk about the order." I said back as if it were completely obvious.

"Are you sure? Because maybe it's about the bug I put in Snivelly's soup during dinner."

"No Mr. Black I assure you, it was not the bug you put in Mr. Snape's soup." We all whipped are heads around and looked at Dumbledore, he was smiling at us, he blue eyes twinkling. "But I find that I am quite forgetful in my age and have suddenly not remember anything I heard before entering this room." He added. He walked and took the chair behind his desk. His eyes no longer twinkling they looked sad.

"Your sister has mentioned to me about your wanting to join the order." He said slowly

I looked back and said firmly, "Yes sir."

"And you boys?" he asked.

"We're in." they said together. Dumbledore smiled a little at this.

"You know," he began. "I can't say I'm surprised that you boys would join as well. I already knew Xeomara would, so I already knew you boys would too." He said fully smiling now.

"Why do you say that sir?" Sirius asked.

"Well, you are always together. Never see one of you without the other two. I figured as much that when Xeomara would join you two would follow her. And I'm not saying that you don't have your own mind. I knew that you have other reasons for joining as well but I knew you wouldn't let her go through this alone. I've said this once and I'll say it again. Xeomara is lucky to have you two."

"I am sir, aren't I?" I said smiling at my boys. Who in turn grinned back.

"You three, all have your part to play in this great war, I've known it since the first time I laid eyes upon you when you were being sorted in your first year. The sorting hat speaks often to me about what he says to certain students and he spoke to me about you three imperticular." We all looked at each other sharing equally surprised looks. "You shouldn't look so surprised clearly you remember what the hat said to you?" we all nodded. "I still want to warn you, there are many risks in joining our ranks."

"I know sir, but when my sister mentioned the order, I felt like- I- oh how do I explain? I felt like it was what I was meant to do." I said quietly. He chuckled at this.

"Yes, Miss. Raes, I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way myself." I felt better when he said this and smiled gratefully at him.

"I want to help. I want to save all those poor muggles who are dying for no reason other than being different. It isn't fair sir." Sirius said.

"I knew you would Mr. Black, you who has always been ridiculed for being different. I knew that you would never want to stand for anything less." Sirius nodded.

"I agree with both of them sir. I feel I should do something. I just know that this is what I want to do." James added smiling at the headmaster.

"I feel you will all be a fine addition to the order!" he said smiling. "You three, along with your friends are some of the most exception witches and wizards I've seen in such a long time!"

"But sir, Why do we have to wait until graduation. Surely you must know that there are some death eaters in training if not already one in Hogwarts?" Prongs and Padfoot looked at me curiously. "I've been thinking about it a lot sir, and well I know it's not fair to blame it all entirely on the Slytherins but I feel that there are some in there that are going to be, if not all ready are death eaters. I also believe my cousin Maria is one sir. I can't really say about Lucy and Dean because they're a little young right now but I fear they will be also. And well if you had three order members' here at Hogwarts we could watch them. I mean I'm sure there are order members as teachers here. For instance Professor McGonagall, Hagrid, and . But it would be easier for us students to find out if they are indeed death eaters." I looked at him to see a surprised look on his face.

"You've really given this some thought. Well, you are right. The teachers you listed are order members. I trust that you won't relay this information to anyone so I have no fear in telling you such. I want you to get a full education before you become a member, surely you respect that. But that doesn't mean you can't do a little information digging for me?" he said smiling brightly at me.

"Of course not sir!" I smiled back just a brightly.

"Now, on the matter of your friends. I was thinking of asking them as well when they graduate."

"NO!" I yelled jumping out of my chair.

"Miss Xeomara?" he questioned.

"No! I can't have them fighting sir. I want them to live. Signing that piece of paper and swearing whatever you oath you have your members swear is like signing your death! I don't want them to be a part of this war." I told him sternly.

"Don't you feel the same for your other friends?"

"Of course I do! But I know them more than I know myself. I know that no matter what I say or do they won't change their mind. If there is anyone I want fighting beside me, it's James, Sirius and" I stopped myself.

"And who?" James said looking up. I groaned inwardly.

"Remus." I said reluctantly. James and Sirius both nodded.

"Sir, I think we should wait to tell them." Sirius said. "If they want to join, well I think that's their own choice. No matter how much me James and Zee don't want them too."

"That is a very wise choice Mr. Black. Are you two in agreement?" James and I looked at each other. I felt his fear enter me and I knew exactly who he was thinking of, Lily. I knew he didn't want her to join I could feel it in the way he looked at me. He didn't want her to die. But I didn't feel weird about him not letting her join and him letting me join. He loved me too, and didn't want me to die either. I could read it in his mind but it was different and I knew it. Because I felt the same way. I knew my thoughts were going back to him and reassuring him. I told him yes without speaking but I knew her heard me because I heard his yes back in my own head. We looked away from each other and looked to Dumbledore who was looking at us curiously and nodded.

"Very well. I want to know of anything suspicious you may here." He said seriously. "Well, your beds are awaiting you. You may go." We got up and walked down the stairs.

"James, Sirius?" they turned and looked at me. I wanted to explain to them how much it meant to me for them to do this, and how much I needed them, and how much I loved them, but I could find the words to tell them. They were both waiting for me to speak. "Never mind." I told them and walked in between them and took their hands. I knew one day I would be able to tell them that but right now, I just couldn't find the words. But one day soon. They would know.


	16. Three Little Words

I own nothing but the OC'S!

Chapter sixteen- Three Little Words.

After, having our Marauders meeting we went to bed early seeing as we had charms first thing. I walked over and laid down with James, he looked at my questionably but didn't say anything because of the look I gave him. He knew I took a liking to laying in Sirius' bed, but of course I didn't know why until just a few days ago. I acknowledged that even though I still believed it not be completely truthful.

The next morning at the breakfast table we all had identical evil grins that Lily stated she didn't like the look of. When Snape walked in the great hall we all nodded and set our plan into action. We all pointed our wands inconspicuously at Snape. Remus flicked his wand first and he had pink hair, and a pink beard growing to the floor. Next was Peter who grew his nose out to an incredibly large size. Then Sirius flicked his wand and grew his teeth out, then James who took his clothes off leaving him in a graying pair of knickers. Last was mine and I flicked my wand to make him not notice the change in his attire or appearance. As he got further into the hall, heads were turning and noticing him. The other houses were laughing madly except a select few of Ravenclaws and all the slytherins were glaring at us. Our laughs rang the loudest in the hall. Sirius' low and charming, James' loud and playful, Remus' deep and melodic, Peter's whose was loud and squeaky and mine that rang out like a wind chime.

Lily shook her head at us. "I knew you guys had something planned." She said this sternly but it was hard to tell since she was laughing as hard as us. Snape was still having a hard time understand what everyone was laughing at until Professor Slughorn insisted that he go be set right by Madam Pomfrey. With a glare for us, he swept out of the hall almost tripping over his pink beard.

"Lets go guys, we can't be late for Flitwick!" Lily said happily. Of course she was happy, she had quite the wand for charms.

We reached his class, Me, James, and Sirius sharing a desk, and Lily, Remus and Peter sharing the desk in front of us. Once everyone was settled in Little Flitwick Stood on his desk and addressed us. "Good Morning Everyone! Today we will be practicing what is known as the Patronus Charm. Does anyone in class now yet how to prouduce a full corpeal patronus?" I raised my hand as did Lily. "Excellent, Excellent. If you two would please come to the front of the room and show us I would be delighted." I got up hesitantly, I looked at the boys with questioning looks on their faces. "Dumbledore" I mouthed at them and they nodded. I stood next to Lily at the front of the room. We raised our wands and looked at each other. We both nodded and said "Expecto Patronum!" A big silver tiger erupted out of my wand and a silver doe erupted out of Lily's. To lily's great embarrassment the doe trotted over to James and rubbed her head against his arm. The class laughed as he patted it softly on the head. My patronus however looked at Remus curiously. Remus was clearly in pain, the full moon was today but I knew it was going to be rough seeing as the pain started earlier than usual. My tiger noticed this because she walked over to him and watched him carefully as if he was going to break. He smiled gratefully at it.

"Wonderful! Wonderful! You girls may take a seat." We both went back to our seats; my tiger not yet faded joined me and stood by my side. I droned out the rest of his explanations. Finally he had the class try. The room filled with voices screaming out Excepto Patronum.

James who was now on his tenth try, got nothing. "Which memory did you use to make yours?"

"I didn't really think of one memory I more or less just thought of all the fun stuff we all did together. And it worked for me. Try that." I looked away and stared at the rest of the class who was only producing silver wasps of light. I heard James' laughter and turned to see my patronus rolling around wrestling playfully with a silver stag. The classroom erupted into laughter. They laughed even harder as a big silver dog got into the mix. I looked at Sirius and James and I knew they were thinking about the time in the woods when I first transformed and how we wrestled around for hours. Lily's doe trotted over to us and looked at our patronus as if wanting to reprimand us.

Remus was getting frustrated. "Why the hell can't I do this!" he all but screamed.

"Calm down, or you'll never get it mate." I told him. "Just focus really hard on your memory. He finally did get it, with only two minutes left of class. From his wand came a big silver wolf. Siriu's dog noticed it first and walked over to stand in front of it as if guarding and watching over it. Then James' stag, then my tiger. Finally after they realized it was okay pushed it over and brought the wolf in the wrestling match as well.

"Why am I not surprised you four produced patronus' first in this class! Really extraordinary, Don't you agree?" We all nodded and my tiger walked over to me one last time before it faded out and we were shoved off to our next class.

The rest of the day passed slowly, especially I noticed for Remus. He was looking worse and worse as the day went on and actually for once gave into our pleas and went to lie down in the dormitory. James, Sirius, Peter and I decided it was best to just skip History Of Magic and go and keep an eye on Remus, and besides History Of Magic was boring, we more or less just used Remus as an excuse not that any of us mentioned that. Lily still knew nothing of Remus' furry little problems and we did not choose to tell her. We talked about it a few times but we decided it was too early but eventually she would need to know. Seeing as her and Prongsie were future husband and wife. The clock chimed eight and I knew it was time. We slipped under the cloak Peter already transformed to make more room and went down stairs and out the portrait hole quietly. Once we reached the Whomping Willow, Wormy hit the knot like always which froze the tree. We went up to the shack and like always the boys transformed but I stayed as a human until the transformation was complete. Remus was shaking worse than ever in my arms and was hardly conscious. We were sure in for a rough night.

Once he changed and I did too, he started going crazy. He was running everywhere and ripping up things. It was taking quite the self control for us to keep him together. He was snapping at us every chance he got. Finally after sometime, he slowed down and I laid down on the floor and my mind immediately went to Sirius. I was driving myself mad thinking about this. I couldn't stop thinking about him, his eyes and his smile. But I knew it was impossible. It had to be. How could I love him? I didn't even believe in love before now and know I'm trying to convince myself I'm not in love. He is my bestfriend, someone I've known as my brother for five years. How could he be meant for me? How could any of this work?

Suddenly I heard barking and looked up just as Remus was approaching me. I Didn't have time to react as his claw came up and was coming at my face. I saw something black jump in front of me and realized it to be Sirius. He fell to the ground and huge puddle of his blood was pooled around him. He lay whimpering on the floor in pain. I jumped up and grabbed his ankle trying to get him out of the shack while Prongs was getting Moony under control. I pulled him all the way through the tunnel and once we reached beyond the tree, I transformed back into a human and grabbed my wand from the hidden spot and made him transform back. I looked down and saw four claw marks running all the way down his chest. He was bleeding terribly and I knelt down and found him to be unconscious. This is all my fault. I quickly raised my wand a levitated him into the air. I then walked fastly towards the castle to the hospital wing. I screamed out for Madam Pomfrey when I entered, she took one look at Sirius and ordered me to put him onto a bed. I levitated him over to the bed in the far left corner and listened for any instructions on what to do. I got her the potion and lotion she asked for. I was then told to sit quietly as she mended his injury. It took quite some time for her to be finished. He was to have scars just like the ones on my face and back. She left the room and allowed me to stay there with him. I couldn't believe what I've done to him. Because I was thinking and not paying attention Sirius had to pay for it. It was all my fault. I shook my head slowly and turned away from him and began walking to the forest to check on James. I couldn't leave him alone in there.

When I was just about to transform I saw a sweaty James running towards me.

"How is he?" he asked sharply.

"He is asleep. He hasn't woken up yet, but James he will have scars. Just like me. Oh James it's all my fault! If I wasn't distracting myself by thinking of other things this would have never happened!" I yelled.

"Maurie, it's not your fault. It could have happened to anyone, don't think that way you know Sirius will only yell at your if you tell him that." He said seriously.

"Yeah, your right I guess, but I still feel responsible. How are you doing out here, need my help?" I asked, I wanted nothing more than to get away from that hospital wing.

"No, he's actually a lot better now. He's calmed down and fell asleep. Stay with Sirius."

"James, how about you go sit with him and I go watch over Remus I'm sure-"

He cut me off, "Zee, I had enough of this! When are you going to tell him?" But how could he-? He couldn't know that I- that I l-loved him. There I said it. I loved him. I knew it was true the moment I said it but I also knew it was wrong. He was my best mate.

"Tell him what James?" I asked innocently.

"Don't play dumb with me Maurie. You think I didn't pick up on it. I know you better than myself. Think I didn't realize the way you've been acting around him. I know you love him." He told me.

"James, Don't be silly, I couldn't love Sirius. He's my best friend." I lied. Of course James picked up on it.

"Well then that's even better. Didn't you ever here that most people fall in love with their bestfriend or if not the person they loved turns into their bestfriend. I consider Lily one of my bestfriends. Why couldn't you love Sirius. What's so wrong with it?"

"James! Of course it's wrong! How could I be in love with my bestfriend. Someone I've thought of as a brother figure for five years! It's wrong James!" I yelled.

"So you do admit it. You do love him." He said slyly. "He loves you too, you know." He said matter of factly.

"James, I know he doesn't don't tell me that." I sighed.

"He's known ever since he smelled the potion. Of course I might have hinted it out that is smelled like you and every since then he's been acting strange. I know it's because he's realized it. Seems it's taken you longer. I can't believe it! My two bestfriends in love!" he said happily

"James, we are not in love. We can't be. It's not right. Well fine I'll go sit with him. You better go check on Moony." And without waiting for him to reply I transformed and ran as quickly as I could back to the castle but I could have sworn I heard his laughter.

I entered the hospital wing and was sadden to see that Sirius had yet to wake up. It would be a while until I had the other boys to keep me company. I sat down in the chair next to his bed and took his hand.

"Oh, love. I'm so so sorry." I muttered, taking my other hand and wiping the hair out of his face. I sat there thinking over what James told me. Could Sirius love me too? No, he couldn't. It's just too impossible. There is no way he could return my feelings, just no way. I sat there for so long thinking over everything slowly in my head. And I came to the conclusion that there was nothing I can do. I couldn't lie to anyone and I couldn't lie to myself. I was in love with him. More than I ever meant to be. And I knew it wouldn't change. I felt a hand come up and rub my head affectionately. I looked up and was surprised to see Sirius' grey eyes looking back at me.

"Oh Sirius!" I cried out. "I'm so sorry! If I was distracted with my thoughts this never would have happened! It's all my fault. And your chest I'm so sorry. You'll have scars like me. I can't believe I was so stupid as to get distracted especially tonight of all night, knowing that he was really bad tonight. It was stupid and foolish of me. Can you ever forgive me?" I asked him seriously.

He smiled at me. "It's not your fault, don't apologize. It happens to everyone. Let's just say this is pay back for James and I not realizing when he was going to attack us and you saved him yeah?" I nodded sadly and put my head down unable to meet his eyes again especially after finally admitting what I admitted to myself. He put his fingers under my chin and lifted my head up. "What were you thinking about?"

"Oh, I couldn't tell you that." I told him.

"Well why not?" he demanded. "You always tell me everything don't you? What changed this time?"

"Everything changed. Everything." I said trying to avoid looking in his eyes.

"Come on, it can't be that bad just tell me."

"Sirius I can't, I can't tell you. Please don't ask me too." I begged.

"Too late, I'm asking. What were you thinking about?" I didn't want to tell him, I didn't. But I knew he would never back down. I looked at him and met his eyes and I knew that I had to tell him. How cruel could my life get?

"You! I was thinking about you!" I said loudly.

"What?! Me?!" he asked shocked, lifting himself into a sitting position wincing as he did.

"Yes you! I haven't been stopped thinking of you since we had that damn potion in the beginning of the year. At first I didn't even think why but now I know. I found out a few days ago why I haven't stopped thinking of you and it's driving me mad!" I told him angrily.

"What do you mean? Why would you be thinking of me?" he asked again.

"Are you thick?! **I love you!**" I snapped. "That's why, you bloody idiot!"

"You- You love me?" I looked at him trying to read the expression on his face and for the first time I came up blank.

"Yes! And it's been driving me mad because I can't love you. It's not right. We've been best mates for five years. I've shared beds with you, had sleepovers with you, told you all my secrets, how could I be in love with you? I kept asking myself and trying to tell myself that it wasn't true. But I can't do it. I can't lie because it is true. I can't believe how stupid I am to go off and fall for my bestfriend and not even realize it. Who falls in love with their best mates?" I asked him.

He look at me, making sure to catch my eye. I stared into his grey eyes and he stared back into mine and before he spoke I knew exactly what he was going to say. "Me." With that he reached up and pulled my face down to his. Our foreheads touched and we stayed there like that for a few seconds before he hesitantly put his lips on mine. His lips were soft and gentle against my own and once he did that I realized again that I really did love him. I knew it might have been wrong but of course it was right. It was right for me and Sirius to be together and I knew that now. How could I have ever thought any different?

When he pulled away we stayed there in the same position that we started the kiss in. "I love you." He whispered to me. My heart was pounding. I pulled back to look at his face. "And you're not stupid" he added on more loudly. "So it took you a little longer than me. Actually I wasn't sure if you were ever going to know, or ever you would ever feel the same way. I was going crazy all those months watching you with Johnson and knowing you didn't feel the same way. I finally understood how Prongs felt about Lily knowing that he couldn't have her. At first I thought it was wrong too. But over time, and the more I thought about it. I felt that it couldn't seem more right."

"I don't get it. I don't even believe in love so how could I be in love with you?" I wondered out loud.

"Of course you believe in love you just never felt it. Everyone does. I've never been in love Zee ever, not once. But I always believed in it. I just thought it wouldn't happen to me." He told me smiling a bit.

I reached out and grabbed his hand, but instead he pulled me down beside him on the bed. I sat up and put his head on my chest. "This changes everything." I told him seriously.

"I know." He told me. "I'm guessing we have to tell the boys and Lily."

"Well James already knows so that's one person down." I said optimistically.

"James?" he questioned.

"Well, I can't exactly lie to him. He all but yelled at me and told me to give in and tell you. I didn't even admit it to myself before he started telling me I was in love with you. Funny how he realized it before me huh?" I said laughing.

"He knew it before me too. Found it quite funny he did. Bloody prat!" he added. I just laughed and began running my fingers though his black locks.

"So that's it huh? Me and you?" He sat himself up again so we were level.

"Yup, me and you." He took my face in his hands and pulled my mouth to his. This wasn't like the first kiss, it wasn't hesitant. He parted my lips with his mouth and his tongue met mine. I reached my arms up and tangled them in his hair. He removed his hands from my face and put the around my waist pulling myself as close as I could get to him. We shifted positions and he rolled over on top of me still not breaking the kiss. He was so gentle with me, as if I was just going to crumble to dust in his hands. He finally pulled back both of us breathing heavy. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." He told me smiling.

"Sorry, I made you wait so long." I said sadly.

He leaned forward and kissed my nose. "Not to worry love." He rolled off me and we both laid down. He pulled me over and I laid my head on the uninjured part of his chest. I closed my eyes never feeling so comfortable in my life. With Sirius I could be myself and didn't have to worry about getting embarrassed. He's always been there. I didn't have to worry about hiding things or him getting mad for spending too much time with my friends. I could tell him anything and he knew me. The real me, he sees through all my bullshit and most of my lies.

"You know, since I had to fall in love , I'm glad it was you." I told him in all honesty.

"I'm glad it was you too, love." I sighed in his arms and I heard him yawn.

"You've lost a lot of blood today. You should get some sleep." I told him sternly.

"I don't want to." He whined.

"Go to sleep Padfoot!"

"Oh so I'm still Padfoot?" he asked laughing.

"Of course you are. You're still my bestfriend. Things aren't going to change much just because we're together now. Okay well maybe a little bit. But your still my fellow marauder member." He chuckled.

"Oh alright. Good night."

"Good night." I whispered. Before I even closed my eyes I heard his snore. I couldn't fall asleep. I kept replaying the advents in my head. I kept listening to his voice tell me he loved me in my head and I knew that no matter what happened as long as he was there I could make it.

It was around first sunlight that James and Peter supported in a weak Remus. James gave me a knowing smile and I nodded. They carried Remus over to the bed next to Sirius and laid him down.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin. Rough night?" Asked Madam coming out of her office.

"Yes." He barley croaked out. I slowly got up not wanting to wake up Sirius but when I moved he flinched and his eyes opened. I looked down at him not sure what to except. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I smiled gratefully and walked over to Remus.

"Hey Moony!" Sirius said cheerfully. He groaned in response.

"Hey there, how you feeling?" I asked softly.

"Tired." Was his reply.

"You boys, so damn stubborn. Go to sleep!" I then added "Sorry" to Madam after I saw the look she gave me for cursing. She gave Remus a bit of sleeping draught and walked swiftly from the room.

"You and Sirius huh?" James asked. I laughed thinking of how I said almost the same thing to Sirius. Peter looked from me to Sirius about a good ten times before staring incredulously at James.

"What?!" he asked loudly.

"Oh Peter, don't be so dense." Sirius told him.

"I don't think I get what you mean James." Sirius reached out pulled me towards him and kissed me for the third time tonight. It was soft and short but obviously got the point across. "No, No way!" he stuttered out.

I pulled back and smiled at Peter a little. I sat next to Sirius on the bed and took his hand. His fingers wrapped around mine, "Well James, why am I not surprised you realized it before I did." He laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Peter looked down at our joined hands.

"Well this is different." He said slowly. I looked up at him.

"It sure is Pete, it sure is."


	17. Moony,Wormtail,Padfoot,Prongs,Stripes

I Own Only The OC'S!

Chapter seventeen- Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Stripes.

-James' POV-

The news of Zee and Sirius was all over the school for weeks. No one believed it at first but after they thought about it all agreed that they were perfect for eachother. And they were perfect for eachother. Lily told me she wasn't surprised at all. She said she knew all along that it would happen and Remus when he was told just smiled like he also knew but he didn't say anything. Let's also say that there was a lot of jealous girls and guys in the school when it first happened. For the first week just to make it known they would kiss in the hall ways or in the great hall but after that they never displayed affection much. Everyone would ask if they were still dating but now after a five months no one asked anymore. They didn't kiss in the hallways or snog in public sitting in the common room. You could just tell they were together. By the way they acted towards eachother. Don't get me wrong, they had little arguments never anything over the top especially because they never argued much before. You could tell by the sound of his voice as he talked to her or the way his eyes watched her every move. You tell by the way she would run up and hug him when she was excited about something or the way they would clutch each other's hand walking down the corridors. Or you could just simply tell by their smiles. I couldn't have picked a better person for my sister to fall in love with, and I couldn't picture a better girl for my best friend. They deserved each other.

The time flew by quickly after we came back from Christmas break. Now we were in end of may. Our final exams were approaching and also the last quidditch game Ravenclaw Vs. Gryffindor for the cup. Lily and I got along better than ever, and I knew we would always be together. She told me she loved me for the first time a few days ago and I couldn't explain how it felt to hear her say those three little words. It meant more to me than she'll ever know. Remus was still dating the airhead and Peter was still as single as ever.

The marauders and I still got just as many detention as before, and played some damn good pranks while doing it.

Today we were all sitting by the lake under our usual tree spot. Sirius and Zee were sitting close to eachother with their hands intertwined; Lily had her head leaning on my shoulder studying for transfiguration. Remus was laying on his stomach(looking very tired) also studying but for him it was potions and his girlfriend Amy was reading over his shoulder. Peter was simply just looking at the water.

"Lily?" Zee said loudly trying to grab her attention from the book.

"hmm?" she asked not looking up. Zee sighed loudly and leaned forward ripping the book from her hands. "Hey!" she protested.

"This is the fourth time you studied for McGonagall in two days. Enough is enough take a break! And you Remus!" she added pointing her finger at him. "You are second in our class and one of the best potion makers behind snivelly and Lily, oh and me of course. Quit studying. You guys are driving me mad!" Me and Sirius roared with laughter at this while Peter merely chuckled.

"Didn't you study at all? Any of you?" Lily asked looking between me, Zee and Sirius.

"Nope, I haven't opened one book flower." Padfoot told her.

"Me either." I said at the same time Stripes did.

"You three are hopeless, how do you except to pass if you don't study?" Amy sneered, not even bothering to look at us but instead glaring daggers at Zee.

I watched as Zee rolled her eyes. "With ease my dear. I may not be in _Ravenclaw_," she emphasized. "But seeing as I'm third in our class, I'm confident I'll pass without opening one book." She said smugly. Amy glared and turned her attention back to Remus. Nice one Zee! She looked at me as if I spoke outloud and I could hear her saying. I know, I know. I laughed as did she and everyone stared at us.

"What are you laughing at?" Peter asked looking back and forth between me and Zee something he did when he was confused.

"Not a damn thing Wormy." Zee said.

"UHHH!" lily screamed. "I hate those damn nicknames, especially because I don't understand them. There is no way you just came up with them." All of us tensed as she said this. We were going to have to tell her soon, but we all kept putting it off. Zee was nervous about how she would react to us being animagi.

Everyone spilt ways. Zee and Sirius were sneaking into Hogsmeade, Lily and I were going to the hang out in the common room seeing as it was empty and Remus was dragging Peter along with Amy to the Library.

Lily sat down next to my on the sofa and put her head on my chest.

"I love you."

"Not that I don't like hearing you say that flower, but what's the occasion?" I joked.

"No reason, just felt like saying it."

"Well, in that case I love you too." She smiled up at me and I leaned down to kiss her. This kiss was like all the others, it was like fireworks everytime. I don't think I'll ever get bored of kissing her. She was so perfect to me in every way. Her long fiery red hair, that matched her personality, her bright green orbs that you could get lost in. Her tall, slim figure. Yup, Lily Rose Evans was perfect.

"Your coming over this summer right? My parents already okayed it they loved having you." I told her.

"Of course, my mom okayed it too. I'm going to spend sometime first and I'll come over in July sounds good?"

"July?" I whined.

"Oh James, I meant sleeping at your house in July. We can see eachother before then. Especially because my parents want you to come over for a family dinner. Which also includes Petunia and her fat old hag Vernon." She said sneering at her sister and her husband.

"Oh I'm really looking forward to meeting them." I told her sarcastically.

"James Potter! You're going to have to be nice you know. If I'm not allowed to prank her, than either are you!" she said smacking me softly on the arm.

"Yes, Lily dear." I said sweetly even though I knew damn well I was going to have to prank her in someway. We spent the next two hours talking, and snogging, until Sirius and Zee walked into the room. They didn't notice us yet. They were holding hands and smiling. Sirius being so much taller bent down to whisper something her ear. She pulled back and laughed out loud. Her laughter bouncing off the walls like a wind chime.

"They're really something aren't they?" Lily asked quietly.

"They sure are." I said this a little louder than she did causing both their heads to whip around.

"PRONGS! LILY FLOWER!" they said in unison. Then looked at each other and laughed. I rolled my eyes. They walked over to us and sat into the arm chair on our left.

"Hey you two!" Lils said.

"Enjoying your snogging time flower?" Maurie asked.

"You should be talking." Lily said back.

"Oh honestly, we have better things to do that waste all our time snogging though I quite like to snog him." Zee said raising her eye brows at Sirius who winked at her.

"You two." I said shaking my head.

"You two probably just plan pranks together don't you?" She asked.

They looked at each other again and then turned back to lily. "Yeah, what of it?" Sirius replied.

"James, there is definitely something wrong with those two." She said turning to me.

"Oh lily flower, leave them alone." I said kissing her lips. I heard some ones laughter turn into a cough and turned around to see Wormy and Moony walking towards us.

"Thank merlin Amy isn't a Gryffindor. There is something I just don't like about that girl. She gives off a bad vibe." Zee said. Sirius turned to her and laughed.

"Love, you just don't like her because she's always tries to pick on you."

"Shut it Padfoot." She said smacking his shoulder, hard.

"I just can't figure out, where you get all that power from. I mean look Prongs, she's so tiny!" this caused another smack but this time from lily.

"Flower!" he screamed. "What was the for?!"

"Felt like it." Was her reply. Then Remus spoke.

"Sorry, you don't like her Zee. But I appreciated you allowing me to keep her around, not that I would have listened if you told me I couldn't."

"Ha, that's funny. I'm sure you would have. Zee has all you boys wrapped around her little finger." Lily said laughing. We all scowled at her, including Zee.

"Oh, Sod off and leave my boys alone." She told her. All this laughing and joking went on until it was time to leave. I noticed Sirius looked nervous as it was getting closer to the time. I kept asking him if he was alright but he kept assuring me he was fine. Today Moony walked out first seeing as we couldn't get away from Lily. We found it was easier if he left first so it wouldn't cause questions.

"Alright lily, my love. We're off." I said leaning in for a kiss but she pulled back and glared at me.

"Off where?" she said.

"Oh you know, prank, getting into some mischief. The usual." Sirius said. Lily glared.

"Not helping Pads." He just shrugged. Finally after pleading my case we began to walk up stairs to get my cloak.

"I played a prank on snivelly today." Sirius said. I whipped my head around and looked at him.

"Without us?" Peter asked.

"What was it." I knew that was the wrong question to ask because Sirius turned a little red. That was when I knew it was bad.

"Sirius. What did you do?" asked Zee alarmed.

"I-I told snape where Remus go's." The reaction was instant. Zee swore loudly. Peter gasped and I glared.

"Sirius! What were you thinking?!" She didn't wait for an answer she spun on her heel and headed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked.

"To fix you mistake." She said back. I looked at Sirius.

"Stay." I told him and followed Zee out of the room. I ignored Lily's calls for me to come back and was sprinting as fast as I could behind Zee. We made it outside and I knew she was going to get there first. I saw a dark shape stop the tree and I knew who it was. I was running faster and faster trying to make it there. Zee reached him finally.

"Severus, Severus please, you can't go back there." I heard her say as I ran up to them.

"Oh, I'm not snivelly or snape. I'm Severus today. What are you hiding that makes you look so nervous Raes." She looked at me for help but I was at lost for what to say.

"That doesn't matter, please come with us. You're not safe here." He shook his head and continued on through the tunnel. It would be any minute now before Moony was here.

"Snape please, listen to her. You don't know what you're doing!" I yelled.

"Shut up Potter! I want to know why black told me to come here tonight and I will find out what you five get up to in here every month." At the same moment he said every month a howl erupted through the tunnel.

"Dammit!" Zee yelled.

"What was that?" Snape said sounding scared. Zee didn't answer. She ran up to him and grabbed his arm.

"Please Severus." She said trying to keep hold of his arm. The sound of footsteps was getting louder and louder. I also ran forward and started pulling him back.

"Get off me Potter! Raes!" he yelled. I heard a growl and looked up to see Moony not five feet away from us just staring.

"That's a- That's a. It's bloody werewolf!" he screamed. His body was stiff and was in shock.

"Come on! Move!" He still didn't move. "Dammit! Take him James. I'll hold him off. Go Now. PICK HIM UP! James go!" I couldn't leave her and she knew that. "If you don't leave James right now, were all done for got me? Take him and go!" I looked in her face unsure of what to do when finally I picked up Snape and ran with him. I heard a growl and a roar and knew that my two friends were going at it. I stopped running once I almost reached the front gate. I put him on his feet.

"That was-" he started.

"I know what it was. Snape you can't tell anyone what you saw." I told him seriously.

"And why should I listen to you Potter?" Snape said coldly.

"Because you will be punished if you do not Mr. Snape." I turned around and saw Dumbledore standing with Sirius and Peter. "If you two boys will kindly join me in my office. And Xeomara too, if you can find her."

"I'll go and get her sir, last time I checked she was sitting in the forest." Even though I knew it was forbidden and he would be angry I had to find some way to cover up the injuries I knew she would have.

"Very well. Come on you three." With that he walked away and I began running again. I reached the tunnel and spotted Stripes and Moony still at each other's throats. They were snarling and ripping pieces of skin of each other. Had she been a human right now I would be nervous about her being a werewolf but seeing as she wasn't the biting didn't shock me. I transformed into and stag and helped her push Moony back into the room. Once we got him in there we ran back down the tunnel and outside. When she transformed back she wasn't standing but was on the ground on her knees.

"Damn, he was really something tonight." She said wiping sweat and blood of her face. Her arm was bent at an awkward angle and she had cuts and bruises all over her body. Her clothes we ripped a little and she had a huge gash on thigh. I walked over to her and put her on her feet. Where I also noticed some bite marks on shoulders and arms. Her lips was bloody and her nose was broken.

"Dumbledore wants to see us. I suspect Sirius told him what he did." I said looking down at her.

"Damn him! Couldn't have just kept his mouth shut. We could have handled Snape! We didn't need to get the Headmaster involved. He's so stupid. What makes him think-" I cut her off.

"Let's just go." I put my arm around her uninjured shoulder and helped her walk to his office. The gargoyles were already open, waiting for us. I helped her up the stairs and opened the door. Everyone turned as the door opened and gasped at the sight of Zee. Though no one spoke. Dumbldore conjured up another chair and I placed her in it before sitting down in the chair next to hers.

"Well, I don't even know what to say for myself. Mr. Black this is obviously one of the most foolish things you have done. Yet I'm glad you came to tell me of the advents. Though I'm astounded that you three," he said pointing to me, Wormy and Zee. "went along with it, it –"

"Sir! They didn't know." Sirius blurted out. "I know it seems weird for me to plan a prank without them but I swear to you sir, that they had no idea." I couldn't even look at him. I was so disgusted with what he did.

"Damn right I didn't go along with it." Zee said wiping the blood yet again at her face. "Sirius Orion Black. That was the stupidest thing you have ever done in your life. You obviously weren't thinking. If you were you would have known what this would have done to Remus had anything happened to Snape." She opened her mouth to start to yell at him again when Snape interrupted.

"That, That thing was Remus?" He said clearly shocked. Zee stood up and glared at him.

"That thing, was called a werewolf and yes it was Remus. What of it?"

"You let that monster into our school when you knew what he was? Didn't you think of the danger he could of caused. I can't believe you would admit a half-breed to Hogwarts." A half-breed?! Was he serious? Zee whipped her wand out and pointed at his face. I could feel her anger and the familiar sense of her blood boiling. She was breathing heavy and her wand hand was shaking.

"How dare you! You filthy Slytherin! You dare talk about Remus being a monster. Calling him a half-breed. There is nothing wrong with him. Remus wouldn't hurt a fly though it would be nice for him to bloody up a few death eaters." She said pointedly. "If you ever call him that in my presence again I will personally make sure you can never speak again. Do I make myself clear!" she screamed. I looked at Dumbledore to see how he was taking this.

"Miss. Raes please sit down. You're quite injured. As for you Mr. Snape you are not to breathe a word of this to anyone. You owe them this Severus. You owe Mr. Potter and Miss. Raes for they saved your life. Mr. Black you will receive two weeks detention and 100 points from Gryffindor. But then it would only be fair for me to add 20 back to each James and Xeomara." He said smiling. Snape didn't interrupt he just looked away. "You all are dismissed. James please escort Miss Xeomara to the hospital wing." We walked down the stairs. Snape left without a word.

"Listen, I'm so-"

"Don't Sirius, just don't. Tell it to Moony." Zee said. I could hear the amount of disappointment in her voice. "Come on James, Let's go." We walked to the hospital wing neither of us saying a word. Zee had a dislocated shoulder, a broken nose that Madam Pomfrey would not heal saying that she has healed one too many injuries of Zee this year. Though she did heel the cuts and bruises and washed the blood of her face. This left Zee with a sling on her arm and two black eyes from her broken nose. We entered the common room and found it empty. Gratefully we climbed the stairs. Without a word to Sirius and Peter who were both sitting up in bed Maurie walked over to Remus' bed and laid down and rolled over on her uninjured shoulder. I also didn't say anything. Just turned off the lights and laid down to get some much needed sleep.

-Xeomara's POV-

The next morning we woke up to someone stomping up the stairs. I shot up in bed ignoring the throbbing in my nose and shoulder. Remus looked absolutely livid. He walked right over to Sirius' bed and punched him on the mouth. He then shook his hand and turned around walking out of the common room. Sirius lifted his hand to his mouth to wipe away the blood. He didn't say anything. He knew what he did was wrong and he was paying for it. As if he thought about something Remus walked back in.

"All of you. Including you Black. Need to meet me outside. Lily and Amy are there. It's time to tell them both the truth and I need you all there." He turned around and walked away again.

"I'll meet you in the common room in five minutes I need to get dressed." The boys nodded and I walked quickly to my dorm and quickly got dressed being careful of my arm. I looked into the mirror and grimaced at my noticeably broken nose. After meeting up with the boys we walked down to the lake without any of us saying a word. I sat down next to Sirius and James took the seat next to Lily. Remus was sitting with Amy and Peter sat down on my other side.

"Rem, what is all of this about?" asked Lily. "And Zee, What in the world happened to you. And Sirius what's wrong you look-"

"Lily, all of what happened has to do with me and what I'm about to tell you. Please don't interrupt until I'm finished." Remus begged. He then began the story of how he was changed into a werewolf. How when he was little he got lost in the woods and was attacked before his father reached him. His father upon seeing sight of the werewolf was killed immediately but Remus got away. "So you see, I'm a werewolf." He said sadly. I looked to Amy's face and saw what could only be known as disgust but she didn't speak yet. I looked to lily. She stood up quickly and walked over to where Remus sat. She offered him a hand and he took it hesitantly. When he was standing up Lily grabbed him and pulled in into a big hug. Where I could recognize the sound of her crying. "Oh Remus! I always knew, but it feels more final hearing the truth from you. I'm so sorry Remus. But I'm not going to turn you away so don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." Remus kissed her forehead and smiled at her, she pulled back and wiped the tears from her face and smiled back.

"Thank you Lily, you have no idea how much that means to me." During this exchange I was watching the face of Amy. She stood up quickly.

"A werewolf? You're a bloody werewolf? My boyfriend. Is. A. werewolf." She said shaking her head. "I can't believe it." Remus reached out to touch her arm. "Don't touch me!" Remus faced showed immediate sadness. She turned and began running away. My blood was boiling worse than ever before. "Damn her!" Lily swore loudly. James looked shocked and Sirius looked angry. But no one was as mad as I was. I stood up quickly and called after her. She turned around having heard me.

"Either, you walk over here right now or I will make you. We're not finished yet." I said menacingly. She walked over slowly and stood in front of me glaring.

"I don't care what you say. Everyone needs to know about the monster running around our school. He kissed me! I kissed a werewolf!" She said in disgust. In that moment I forgot the fact that my shoulder was dislocated that my nose was broken and that I was in school. I raised my good hand and punched her hard in the mouth. She fell on the ground and I jumped on top of her punching every inch of her that I could reach. I've never gotten in a muggle fight before but I found it quite satisfying. I felt someone pull me off. Amy stood and I got a good look at her. Two black eyes were forming and blood was pouring down her lips, and a nice bruise was forming on the side of her head.

"Lily, let me go." I was struggling to get out of her grasp, my shoulder screaming in protest. Lily let me go but only to reach forward and slap Amy hard in the face. Her head turned with the impact. Lily raised her hand to hit her again when James jumped up and grabbed her hand. Peter took a hold of my arms so I wouldn't fight her again and Sirius grabbed Amy making sure she didn't move.

"If you tell anyone. I swear to you. You will never be able to speak again." I said repeating the same thing I said to Snape last night. Remus just stood there awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"That won't be a problem." Lily said. She whipped out her wand and said "Oblivate!" To say I was shocked was an understatement. Amy's face turned slowly confused.

"Sirius, get off of me." She told him. "Rem, tell him to let me go." Remus looked confused.

"Break up with her Remus." I told him. He then broke up with her without taking his eyes off the ground. She walked away crying and muttering about how her face hurt and not remembering how it happened.

"Remus, don't worry about her mate. I always told you I had a bad vibe. It was only one person, we don't feel that way and that's all that matters." He nodded sadly.

"Lily, we have to take you into the forest to explain you, the next part." He told her. We walked into the forest, me wiping blood of my knuckles.

"You know, I quite like muggle fighthing." I told them. James laughed and patted my injured shoulder and I cringed.

"Sorry,forgot. Apparently you did too. Muggle fighting was stupid of you with your shoulder." He said to me. I just shrugged. "Though you do throw a damn good punch!"

We stood waiting for Remus to finish the story. He told Lily how James and I came up with the idea to stay with him when he transforms, we told her how it took up more or less three years to finally change and how hard it was. She shook her head in disbelief.

"No, there is no way." We looked at eachother and sighed.

"I'm Padfoot." Sirius began and transformed into a dog. Lily gasped.

"I'm stripes." I said before changing into a tiger.

"I'm wormtail." Then instead of Peter there was a rat in his place.

"And I'm Prongs." James said and then turned into a stag.

"I can't believe it. You really did it." She said. "Though that was incredibly dangerous!"

"I know, it's stupid Lily, but what they did meant a lot to me. They help me when I change which is hard and painful and I'm grateful for what they did for me. I couldn't ask for better friends. Not all of it is good though. It is dangerous and we know that. Zee's scars on her face and back. That was done by me. Sirius' scars on his chest. Also done by me, though we usually find a reason to laugh about our "adventure" later." He said solemnly. We changed back. "and that" he said pointing to me. "Was done by me last night when something went wrong." He said glaring at Sirius. I took a step towards her and told her what happened last night. But to my greatest surprise she defended him.

"What you did was wrong Sirius on a lot of accounts but I can see why you did it. I know you're sorry and I can tell by your face how much you regret it. I can see it in your eyes." We all stared at her shocked.

"Remus. Remus. I am so sorry. I-I wasn't thinking. I didn't think ahead of what could have happened and it was horrible of me, and I'm ashamed of myself. How could I ever do that to you. I-" Remus stopped him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Sirius, what you did was wrong and well I can't hate you Pads. You're always there for me and even though you did something stupid, well we're still mates." He told him.

"Thank you." He pulled back and looked at me waiting for my reaction. I sighed and went to him and pulled him down to kiss me. Which was painful seeing as I had a broken nose and swollen lip. When I pulled back he smiled and kissed my nose softly.

"Padfoot man, just don't do anything stupid like that again!" James said and Peter agreed. Sirius walked towards Lily and hugged her. "Thank you so much flower." He said quietly and I had the suspicion that that was meant only for her to hear. "Thank you."


	18. Regulus Black

I own nothing but the OC'S

Chapter eighteen- Regulus Black.

Sirius was out of detention, the fight was forgotten, exams were taken, and Gryffindor one the quidditch cup! It was our last day night at Hogwarts and my boys and I were upstairs longing on the beds talking about nothing like usually. Lily was at the last slugclub meeting of the year. Really we should have been packing seeing as we didn't have much time left but did we pack? Nope not at all. I sitting cross legged on Sirius' bed while we talked.

"So I think all in all this year went pretty well, yeah?" Jimmy asked.

"Yeah I believe so." I told him back I knew what he was really thinking about was Lily. "You're just glad because Lily finally admitted to herself and to everybody else that she was in love with you." He didn't deny it.

"So? What's your point?" I opened my mouth to argue when Remus cut in.

"Don't even bother Zee, you know how he gets. Next thing you know we'll be getting a my Lily flower is so perfect speech and I don't think I can stomach that one again."

"How right you are Moony." Sirius agreed. I just nodded.

"Hey! Don't act like you don't talk about Zee, Sirius!" I looked at Sirius and winked.

"I don't need to, you all are her friends you know how perfect she is." He leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Good point Sirius." Wormy muttered.

"I can see I'm not going to win here so I'll just stop." James said frowning.

"Good idea." I told him jokingly.

"Can you believe that next year we'll be in seventh year?" Remus asked excitedly. We all nodded. "What are you guys planning on doing after?" Leave it to Remus to talk about careers.

"Auror." I said but I wasn't the only one who said this. James and Sirius said it too. We looked at each other and laughed.

"You guys are too much alike." He said

"Yeah yeah, how about you Moony?" Sirius asked.

"Maybe a teacher, I'm not really sure. I mean Dumbledore let me in as a student, but a teacher would be completely different." He said looking down.

"Ah cheer up Moony, I'm sure you'd make a great teacher." James told him.

I was getting ready to say something but suddenly I got a weird feeling. Something wasn't right and something was telling me to check on Lily. I reached forward and grabbed the map off of James trunk.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." I said quickly.

"What are you doing?" James as startled by my sudden movement. I didn't bother to answer. I spread the map on the bed and began looking for Lily's name. I searched everywhere and finally found it dungeons. She was accompanied by Bellatrix, Malfoy, Avery, Snape and Regulus. Damn! I hopped off the bed and took of sprinting down the stairs. I heard them screaming after me but after they saw the map they'd come. I was taking the steps four at a time jumping down them. I turned the corner and the exact moment I did, I saw Lily lying on the floor. Avery had his wand pointed at her "Crucio!" she began to writhe on the floor in pain.

"NO!" I shouted making myself known. I fired off a stunning spell before he could even raise his wand to defend himself. He was thrown back into the wall where he crumpled unconscious. I heard the boys run up behind me and make sure Lily was okay. A blue jet of light shot by Bellatrix was coming at me. I raised my wand and deflected it.

"Dear little Bella. Don't count on getting passed me. You won't win!"

"Oh won't I?" she sneered. "I who am acquainted with the dark lord!" she said proudly. Everyone else behind her just laughed. I heard Sirius curse under his breath. I turned my head a fraction to see only James and Sirius. I assumed Peter and Remus went to get help.

"Oh I'm so scared. Voldemort taking on Fifteen year olds!" I laughed and she sneered and sent another blue light my way. I blocked it again.

"I don't think so. Stupefy!" the jet of red light hit her right in the head and she crumbled were she stood.

"James!" I shouted as I blocked a spell sent at me by Malfoy. "Get her out of here!" this time I ducked and the jet of light hit the wall behind me. I ran towards them.

"No point in dueling when were far away is there?" I asked. Regulus stared at me with a look of amusement on his face. Snape's was cold. Malfoy; disregarding me and sent a stunning spell at Sirius. "Protego!" I heard his scream and Malfoy was thrown off by the shield charm. That gave me just enough time. I stunned him and waited for my next victim. When one didn't step forward I didn't look towards Regulus but instead stunned Snape.

"I won't duel you Regulus. So go on, leave." I told him seriously. "My other friends went to go get a teacher if you don't want to get in trouble, leave and I won't say a word that you were here." I knew he wasn't like the others. I could feel it. He didn't want to do the things he's done but he's scared and doesn't know what he can do. He didn't make a move to leave. I walked up and stared into his grey eyes that were so different from Sirius' were his were bright and shinning, Regulus' were dull. He looked so much like his brother. The wavy long black hair, the high cheek bones, the aristocratic features. He didn't move as I reached for his left arm and yanked up his sleeve.

"Zee? What are you doing?" I heard Sirius ask but I didn't answer. I looked down and was relieved to see that there was no dark mark.

"Just because there isn't one there now, doesn't mean there won't be." He said laughing. I stepped back and frowned.

"You don't want that." I told him, he looked startled for a moment.

"I do want it. More than you'll ever know. I'll prove it to you." I didn't raise my wand as he pointed it at me. If he was resolved to cursing me I was going to let him.

"Zee!" Sirius and James yelled.

Regulus looked from him to me and smiled. "Ah, brother. I'm ashamed to say this but your mudblood girlfriend is quite the looker." He said still pointing his wand at me.

"Not that it matters dear, but my blood is pure. Don't act like you don't know what family I come from." I told him. He snarled.

"Crucio!" I fell to the floor in pain but I couldn't help but think that this was nothing like what if felt like when my father did this spell. I could feel the hate and rage in it when my father used it, but right now I only felt determination. This proved my point. I knew he really didn't want to do it.

I heard him laughing. "Looks as if she doesn't scream. What a brave little one you have brother." My eyes closed. "Going to hex me brother I am after all torturing your love." I knew Sirius wasn't going to hex him, but it didn't matter because I didn't want Sirius to hex him.

"Sirius!" I said with as much control as I could while he put the curse on me again. "Don't you dare hex your brother!" This threw Regulus off guard. He took off the curse and I stood up.

"That- That little curse you just used on me. It only proved my point. You don't want to be a death eater. I couldn't feel any hatred in what you just did. Sure I won't lie, it hurt because that's what it's made to do but I didn't feel ½ the hate I felt when my father used it on me this summer." I told him looking him straight in the eyes, he frowned at me wondering why I was tortured by my father but he didn't have to think very hard, but then the smirk was back on.

"Of course it hurt! Look at you! You can barely stand, and you have the nerve to tell me that I don't wish to be death eater?"

"You're afraid! You want to be like Sirius! I can see the way you envy him. You wish you had enough bravery to leave your parents, defy your peers. You want nothing more than to live a life without what you are told to do. I know you want to make your own choices so do it! I can help you do it! We can help you!"

"I-" he was cut off.

"All of you! Headmaster's office now!" I turned around and saw Professor McGonagall. I pocketed my wand and walked shakily over to Sirius, James and Lily.

"Why didn't you leave?" I asked James roughly.

"I couldn't leave." He told me sternly. I sighed. We walked along the corridors to Dumbledore's office while McGonagall woke up the Slytherins I stunned so they could to go to the headmaster office.

"Ah, Miss Raes back again so soon?" he asked in a laughing tone.

"I am sir." I said smiling. Soon after I took at seat everyone else starting filing in.

"She stunned me!" Malfoy screamed pointing a finger at me. Dumbledore looked at me.

"Do you deny it?" he asked.

"No sir, I don't. But let me say that Avery, used the cruciatus curse on Lily, Bellatrix sent some vile dark arts curses at me. I had no choice but to stun them sir." I said innocently. He looked at me his eyes twinkling in amusement. He couldn't issue out punishment seeing as the school year ended tomorrow but none the less took how points off. One by one people were leaving after being addressed by the headmaster. Finally all that was left was Sirius, James, Regulus and I. Remus and Peter had taken Lily to the hospital wing and the Slytherins were told to go there as well seeing as I made the all hit their heads. Accidently.

"And what of Mr. Black? What did he do during this duel?" he asked looking at me. Regulus remained quiet. Sirius opened his mouth to speak but I got there first.

"Nothing, Sir." I told him firmly. Regulus and Sirius both shot their heads and looked at me. The resemblance in their faces was uncanny. James then turned to look at me with his eye brows raised.

"Nothing?" he asked making sure.

"No, he arrived after the duel right when Professor McGonagall showed up. He had nothing to do with it." I lied. Dumbledore looked at me curiously but however let it go.

"I hope you all have a wonderful summer. See you all September 1st. You may go." We all got up, James and Sirius left the room first, I was behind them and Regulus was behind me. I felt him put his hands on my shoulders and I turned around.

"Yes?" I asked coolly.

"I have no choice in what I do. Even if I did I would still choose to live the way I am now. Don't think you know how I feel, or can determine what I can and cannot do. I am nothing like my brother and I don't wish to be anything like him." He told me staring into my face. I studied his carefully for a moment before I decided yet again he was lying.

"You know, you aren't a very good liar for a soon to be death eater. Better practice." James gasped and Sirius looked shocked. "You know, I've always assumed you to be better than this. Don't disappoint me." I said sighing.

"Disappoint you? I assure you that I want nothing more than to be a death eater. You will see! I have nothing to prove to you!" He turned to walk away and then added "Good Bye dear brother. Hope to see you soon! I shall be sure to tell mother and father about your lovely girlfriend." then he was gone.

"Why did you do that Zee?" Sirius asked harshly.

"Because I know he's better than that. I know he doesn't want to do this." I told him.

"Don't stick up for what he's done! He wants to do this. He's always wanted to do this." Sirius said beginning to get frustrated.

"He is better than that Sirius! He will change. I have faith in him."

"Well you sure are wasting it on him!" he said angrily. "He used the-"

"I know what he did Sirius!" I said cutting him off. "I'm not arguing with you about this. Don't question what I did. I did it, and it's done with." It told him. He opened his mouth to retaliate. "Please, I just don't have the energy right now." I said rubbing my temples.

"Sirius, just give it up." James said walking over and putting his arm around my waist supporting most of my weight. Sirius just sighed and walked to my other side and supported the rest of my weight.

"Damn cruciatus curse." I snarled.

We made it to the hospital wing. The beds were all taken up by the four slytherins and Lily. Remus and Peter were at her side. She looked tired. They walked me over to her and sat me down on the bed. I looked at her and smiled. "Hey there flower. Madam give you something to numb the pain?" she looked at me and finally smiled tiredly.

"Yeah, can't feel much of anything right now." She slurred. We all laughed at her voice and the slytherins glared at us.

"Oi! Raes!" I turned around and faced Avery. I raised my eye brow. "You'll pay for that." He said pointing to his head which was bruised. I just laughed at him.

"If you say so." I turned my back on them.

"Xeomara dear, you are positively shaking. Are you in pain?" I heard Madam Pomfrey from behind me. Yes! I wanted to scream. But of course I didn't.

"What? Oh no, not at all. I feel fine." I said waving off her antics.

"No, Madam Pomfrey she's-" I cut Remus off with a glare.

"Really, I'm fine. Go check on the slimy gits over there." I said pointing my hand in the directions of the slytherins. She huffed and left.

"Zee! That was stupid. Look at you! You're a mess." Lily pointed out.

"Thanks flower, I'll remember that next time when I go off to save your life." I told her sarcastically.

"That's not funny Zee, and you know what I meant. I felt horrible, my body hurts and I was tired. You had the curse put on you three times and you wave away Madam! Suck up your pride and get help!" she yelled.

"Alright Lily, why don't you get some sleep. If Zee say's she's fine, she's fine." Sirius said. Though he gave me a look which insisted that I get some help from Madam.

"Thank you love." I said kissing the tip of his nose. He sighed drastically.

"Everyone who is not being treated OUT!" Madam screamed.

"I guess that's our queue, by flower." I said. Sirius helped me up. James kissed her forehead. We all started towards the door. The second I stepped through the threshold Sirius picked me up. My eyes closed automatically and I could have sworn I heard Sirius say "She just needs to learn to accept help once in awhile. Stubborn girl." Before I fell asleep.


	19. Numb

I Own nothing but the OC'S

Chapter nineteen- Numb

Mr. and Mrs. Potter welcomed us back happily. We spent the time learning muggle sports, telling them about our jokes and pranks and exciting things that happened near the end of the year. In turn we made them tell us a little about the order work they've been doing. They haven't got many leads on Voldemort and the ministry's worse than ever Mr. Potter told us. More and more deaths were turning up in the papers and people were beginning to flee. Anyone who made their children leave Hogwarts was not very bright, seeing as Voldemort only fears Albus Dumbledore.

We spent our days mostly with each other. We met up with Lily at least once a week in Diagon Alley, seeing as she wasn't allowed to come over yet (order from her parents) until it was time for her to sleep there. They didn't want her to be a burden. A burden? Yeah right, they loved us kids. James went to her house for a family dinner. It was quite eventful. It ending with Petunia in tears, Vernon cursing James. Mr. and Mrs. Evan leaving the room, and Lily trying to control the situation. If only someone would have took a picture. Watching James prank Petunia would have made my day.

Mrs. Potter wasn't shocked about me and Sirius she told me so one day when we were outside tanning while the boys went to learn yet again another muggle sport.

"It was just one of those things I knew was going to happen. I always thought you to would even each other out greatly. Not just because you've been through the same thing though that is a big part because you'd understand each other better, but more or less because you two could always act like yourselves. Your comfortable around each other and well you are more or less the same people." She finished laughing.

"You think so?" I asked.

"Of course! You really love each other." She said simply.

"We do." I said smiling.

"Oh!" she began excitedly. "You'll let me and James give you away at the wedding won't you?" I nearly fell off my chair.

"MARRIAGE?" I blurted out.

"Well of course, Maurie. A lot of people are rushing into marriages with all this death eater business, scared they aren't going to live long enough." She told me seriously.

"Yeah, but marriage? I'm on 17 and Sirius just turned 18. And besides marriage isn't really are thing. This is the longest relationship we've ever had. I know we'll stay together but I'm not so sure if we'll get married. But if we do." I added on sighing. "I wouldn't allow anyone else to give me away but you and James, and well Jimmy too!"

"Of fair enough! But Jimmy and Lily, they'll definitely get married." I nodded in agreement.

"If anyone was to rush in and get married it'll be those two. You should see them, they can't keep their hands off of each other. But I know they really do love each other." I told her.

"I like Lily, she's such a sweet girl. And I know she'll be able to keep him out of trouble." She said laughing.

"I think the Potter's must like redheads." I told her laughing. "Grandmom Potter had red hair too."

"Yes, I think so too. You know James and I were like you and Sirius at school. We were always bestfriends. We met on the Hogwarts express first year and realized we were in love in seventh year. Well I actually knew it fifth year, but James, well he was a little dense with the whole love thing. Didn't realize it til way later. And talk about how lucky we were that our parents liked our joining. They said it saved them trouble of arranging a marriage. So it all worked out well. We were very much in love." She told me.

And they were too, Mr. Potter was forever buying her things, and treating her gently. Always sharing kisses and holding hands. I've never seen love like that between parents. I don't even think my parents are even in love. If I feel bad for anything, I feel bad that they didn't get the chance to love. Mr. Potter was different though, he did not except me and Sirius at all, and he wasn't as enthusiastic he sat Sirius down and had a talk with him. It was really quite comical.

James was extremely excited today seeing as today was the day Lily was moving in for two weeks. We were going to diagon alley meeting up with her to get ice-cream and bringing her home. It was eleven o'clock when we finally got up. I showered first, then James and then Sirius. Sirius took the longest and James and I were pounding on the door for a half hour so we could finish getting ready. I just finished wand drying my hair when I heard something. We were all in the bathroom getting ready. James and Sirius were making so much noise I couldn't hear a thing.

"Be quiet." I told them sternly. They stopped moving and then I confirmed what I thought I heard. A muffled scream. Then I knew it. The death eaters, they were here.

"We've got company." I told the boys. I left them and starting quietly running down the stairs my wand in my hand. They followed me but I put up a hand to stop them.

"You don't have your wands." I whispered. "Accio James and Sirius' wands!" I said under my breath. The wands flew into my waiting hands and I handed them each their wand. We continued on quietly down his many flight of stairs. We reached the landing I noticed that it was only three, two grown men and- No! it couldn't be. Regulus. I barely had time to look around to survey the damage when I noticed Mr. and Mrs. Potter were tied up. When the death eater realized we were there, he shot off two killing cursing more quickly than I could have imagined, hitting both Jane and James square in the chest. I watched as they fell to the floor side by side.

"NO!" I shouted "NO!" It couldn't be true. They weren't gone they just weren't! Without realizing what I was doing I had my wand pointed at the man's chest.

"Stupefy!" I screamed and it was echoed by James and Sirius. The man was hit in the chest by three stunning spells, he flew back and hit the wall hard and slid down. I hopped over the railing and ran straight for Regulus. I heard feet land behind me and made a note that it was James and Sirius. They both began to duel with the older death eater. I sprinted to Regulus and pushed him roughly against the wall. I stood on my tip toes, and had my left arm held acrossed his throat trying to cut off air supply while my right was holding a wand at his neck. He was laughing hysterically as if it was the funniest thing in the world.

"I- I trusted you! I thought you were better than this. How- how dare sit there and laugh!" I told him. I didn't even raise my voice.

"I told you." He said in between bursts of laughter. "I told you this is what I wanted." His words hit me and I took my arm of his throat and lifted the sleeve on his left arm. Starring back at me was a skull with a snake wrapped around it, burned into his forearm. The snake was writhing. I recoiled in disgust.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!" I screamed at him. "DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY, TO WATCH PEOPLE GET KILLED. PEOPLE WHO HAVE CHILDREN AND A FAMILY. DO YOU LAUGH EVERYTIME YOU WATCH SOMEONE GET KILLED? DO YOU LAUGH WHEN _YOU _DO THE KILLING."I hit a nerve."Is this really what makes you happy?" I asked him. He nodded still laughing. With every ring of his laughter my blood began to boil. I was now shaking with fury.

"You think this is funny? You think this is funny?!" I heard the familiar cry of "Stupefy" I heard something hitting the floor. James and Sirius had finally over powered the other death eater. I took a step back and stared Regulus in the face. Before I even realized what I was doing I heard myself cry out "CRUCIO!" He fell to the floor with the force of my spell. I put every inch of hate I felt towards him in that curse. He was screaming and twitching in pain. "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW REGULUS?" I screamed at him. Then I heard a pop.

"Xeomara." I heard a gentle voice say. It was that person who broke through the hatred I was feeling. I lifted the curse and turned and met the piercing blue eyes of Dumbledore. He was looking at me sadly. Then it hit me. I just used the curse my father had used to torture me. I was no better than them. Then those vile death eaters. My hand began to shake and I dropped my wand on the floor. I couldn't hear anything. Not because anyone wasn't talking but because I went deaf. I couldn't hear what Dumbledore said as I dropped my wand, but I saw it flying into his hands. Regulus I noticed was still on the floor looking up at me in complete shock. He too was shaking but for a very different reason than I was. I turned and saw Sirius starring out the window; his shoulders were shaking with what I realized to be sobs. I then turned to Dumbledore and saw he had a single tear dripping down his face. Why were they crying? I saw Molly and Arthur Weasley. She was in his arms and her shoulders were also shaking with sobs. Arthur like Dumbledore had tears rolling down his cheeks.

Then suddenly every sound came back. But I wished it didn't. I heard the worst cry I have ever heard in my life. The sound of it shattered my heart into a million pieces. I turned towards the sound and my eyes landed first on Jane and James Potter, they were lying side by side eyes opened, though I knew they could not see. Their faces didn't show any sign of terror, just peace. How could I have forgotten. I looked up and saw that it was James who was making my heart shatter. Suddenly my mind was filled up with his emotions and it was at a time like this that I wish me and James weren't connected as such. His sadness and pain entered me making it ten times more unbearable. I didn't want to feel this. I didn't want to feel all the pain. So I just stopped. I blocked out every feeling, mine and his. Even the sound of his cry didn't shatter me anymore. I was completely numb.

I walked towards him and kneeled next to him, pulling him to me and laying his chest on my shoulder. I could feel him shaking in my arms. I felt more than saw Sirius' eyes on me. I held out my arm and I then felt him walk into them. He too had his head on my chest. They both sat there and cried. I don't know how long we sat there. I just sat there not crying. I couldn't cry, I found that the tears wouldn't come. Maybe it was because I couldn't feel anything. I just looked in the faces of the people that were the only real parents I ever knew. I knew we sat there long enough for Molly and Arthur to walk over to us. They patter our heads and said words of sorrow and apologies but it meant nothing to me. I didn't acknowledge them. Still just looking blankly into their faces. Soon after Dumbledore walked up and lifted a sleeping Sirius out of my arms. I never even noticed he was sleeping. I had a moment of shock when I saw that Dumbledore was carrying an 18 year old boy up the stairs, without using magic but it quickly went away and I soon forgot about it. James shifted from my arms and lifted his head off my shoulder. I was reaching for his hand and he reached for mine. I knew what I was doing before I had conscious thought of it. I leaned forward and the first flicker of emotion I had passed through me and I squeezed his hand. He squeezed mine back tightly. I put my two fingers out and closed first Jane's beautiful hazel eyes, and then James deep blue eyes. I leaned back, and Still we sat there. Even long after Dumbledore returned downstairs, and even after they had healer's from St. Mungo's remove their bodies. I was starring at the spot where their bodies had been what felt like hours ago. Then finally Dumbledore spoke up.

"Your friends will be worried, shall I owl let and tell them to come here?" he asked softly. NO. I thought in my mind. I wasn't ready for them to be here I- James must have heard me because he said quickly.

"No, I'm not ready to see them yet. Though you can just owl them and let them know." He said in a croaked voice.

"If you are sure James. I will owl them and tell them not to come until you send them word." He said.

"That's fine, thank you." James told him.

"Your parents were extraordinary people." Dumbledore told him. "They were also two of my closet friends. Surely you know that. I miss them terribly as I know you, Miss Raes and Mr. Black do. But do not linger on those feelings. Though they are gone, they will live on through you. They will always be there. Right here." I looked up and saw his hand over his heart.

"Thank you sir." James said tearfully. Dumbledore eyed my blank look curiously but didn't not say anything on it.

"I think it may be best for you two to get some sleep. You'll need it. And I must got inform the order members of this tragedy. We have the men that killed your parents, we haven't turned them into the ministry. We are questioning them ourselves. We let Regulus go." Let him go? I didn't feel any anger or resentment just nothingness.

"Okay." James said. Dumbledore met my dull eyes.

"Take care of them Xeomara." He said before I heard a pop and he was gone. Yes. If I had to do anything it was to take care of James and Sirius. That was all I needed to do. James stood up not letting go of my hands and pulled me up as well. I found that I couldn't walk as well as I thought I go for half way up the stairs, James put his arms around my shoulders and took my weight. He walked me and into my room where he laid me down. I starred up at the ceiling thinking of how I wouldn't get any sleep. All I saw was green jets of light. Replaying over, and over and over again in my mind. I felt James kiss my forehead. I heard him tell me good night before he walked out, leaving my door opened. Even then I didn't let myself feel anything, because feeling nothing felt better than anything else.

-Sirius' POV-

I heard Prongs open our bedroom door and I sat up. I looked at him, his eyes were puffy and red and his face was pale. What was I supposed to say to him? To my best friend who just watched his parents being murdered?

"James. James I am so sorry." I told him sincerely. He sighed softly and sat down on his bed facing me. His eyes filled with tears and in turn so did mine.

"I know Sirius." I felt bad for crying in front of him. They weren't my parents. If anyone had the right to cry it was James, and maybe Zee. As if he read my thoughts he said, "They loved you too Sirius. You don't have to feel bad to cry. They loved you like a son." Tears fell from my eyes and I looked down.

"I know Prongs, I loved them too." I said my voice cracking.

"I know." He said his voice also cracking. "Sirius?" he asked I looked up and saw tears on his face. "What do I do now?"

"I Don't know mate, I just don't know."

I woke up the next morning my eyes stiff from crying. I sat up and heard the shower running and saw that James wasn't in his bed. I sat there thinking of the day before. Why them? Out of all the people in the order why did they have to die? They took me and in raised me like their own son. What did they do to make them deserve this. My thoughts were interrupted as James walked into the bedroom, his hair wet and still dressed in his pajamas.

"Sirius, do you smell food?" he asked unsurely. Then I realized I did to.

"Yeah, but who would be cooking. You gave Mina clothes last night when she woke up remember?" he nodded. Zee. We both quickly walked from the room in her bedroom. The bed looked clean, like it was never slept in. How could I have forgotten about her? How was she feeling? They if anything were her parents too. We walked downstairs. The living room was spotless. I know it wasn't like this yesterday. Muggle cleaning products were laying in the corner.

"Did- did she do this?" I asked him. He just nodded. I pushed open the swinging door, more loudly then I intended and I heard the shattering of glass. My eyes followed the noise and saw that Zee was bending over picking up the glass, without magic. I watched as a huge shard cut across her skin. She didn't even flinch. I raised my wand and with a wave the glass cup was repaired. She tried smiling at us but failed miserably. She set the glass on the table and sat down. I walked over to the sink and wet a towel. When I got back to her I took her hand and wiped off the blood. I didn't know any healing charms or how to wrap her hand but she just took her hand from grasp pointed her wand at her hand and suddenly tape was there cover her cut. It was then I looked at the table. It was covered in food. I then noted that only two plates were set, in mine and James' spots. In front of her was nothing but a glass of water. I took myself and James took his. I eyed my food curiously and found that I was hungry.

"Did you make all of this Maurie?" James asked her raising his eyebrow. She nodded. And picked up her glass of water and took a small sip. "Aren't you hungry?" she shook her head. She sat there quietly while me and James picked and ate our food. When we were done she quickly got up and took our plates over to the sink. She wrapped then remaining food and stored it in the refrigerator. James and I didn't move from our seats, just watched as she cleaned up the kitchen without magic.

"Maurie, why don't you just use your wand?" he asked her slowly. She didn't answer him. She turned to face us and my eyes were locked with hers. She looked blank. Her eyes that were usually shining were dull. Her face was pale and she had rings under her eyes as if she didn't sleep. Her movements were quick and sharp as she cleaned the dishes by hand. I turned and looked at James to question her movements but he just shrugged. She walked out of the kitchen and towards the back yard.

"What is she doing?" We both walked over to the window and looked out. She walked all the way down to the lake and I watched as she placed a bubble head charm on herself. She took off her clothes leaving herself completely naked, not caring if anyone saw and walked into the lake. She went under and after five minutes of watching I realized she wasn't going to come up. Not yet.

"Something is wrong with her." James said. "I've never felt her like this before." I raised my eye brow. He ignored me. "She looks terrible. Sirius, I don't think she's dealing with this. I think she's trying to forget and not even attempting to get over it." I thought about that day on the train so many months ago when she cried for the first time. I remember what she told me afterwards. She said she didn't know any other way to live.

"She doesn't know any other way to live. She wasn't allowed to feel anything before. She doesn't know how to deal with feelings James. She's hurting and I'm scared for her." I told him seriously. There wasn't much more to say about it. In fact there wasn't much to say at all. We both went upstairs and just laid down on our beds. I closed my eyes and before I knew it I was dreaming of green lights and staring eyes.

-Xeomara's POV-

The water felt warm on my skin and I never wanted to leave. I knew I had been in there for a long time and decided I'd get out to go check on my boys. It was what I needed to do. I needed to be strong for them. I broke the surface and got up and walked to the shore. When I reached there I saw a towel I knew wasn't there before. I picked it up and wrapped it around my naked body. I then took the charm off and grabbed my clothes and walked into the house. The second I entered the cold air hit me and I shivered violently. I wasn't ready to go my room yet, to be honest I don't think I could even make it that far. I sat down at the table and laid my head on my arms. I was still shivering and then I began thinking. I started to think about the look of pure joy on the death eaters face as they killed Jane and James. I thought of the laughter on Regulus' face when they were murder and then I saw the pain and fear flicker across his eyes as I lifted the curse I never intended to use.

I opened my eyes and realized I most have fallen asleep on the table. But this didn't feel like a table. I looked down and saw that I was laying on my bed with the covers on top of me. I lifted them off, and saw that I was still in my towel. I got up and changed into a pair of sweatpants and one of James' tee shirts. The clock read five. Which meant it was time to cook dinner. I walked into the boys room and saw that they were sleeping. I went downstairs and began cooking. By the time 6:30 hit the food was done and the table was set. Right on cue the boys walked in and took their seats.

"Not hungry?" Sirius asked me. I just shook my head. If I even thought about eating food it was enough to make me sick. I couldn't eat not when Jane and James had I forced myself to think the word, died. I didn't flinch as I thought this and was glad I didn't feel anything. They ate dinner in silence and when they were done they left the room. I cleaned the table off, and the moved onto the dishes. I heard a door slam open. I grabbed my wand and turned around to face the person.

"Whoa, Maurie!" James said. "It's just me. No one else." He said. My hand shook and I dropped my wand. I just stared at him, not knowing what else to do. He walked over and picked up my wand. He held it out to me and I looked at it not sure what he wanted me to do.

"Here." He said softly. I took it and quickly sent it back down on the counter. I started washing the dishes again doing my best to ignore James. When his hands touched my shoulders I jumped. "Sorry." He told me then added, "Why don't you come watch tv with Sirius and I?" he asked me. I nodded not looking away from my task. "I wanted to let you know I carried you upstairs this afternoon, I didn't want to wake you, you looked tired." When I didn't answer he walked out of the room.

I finished the dishes and walked out to the living room. I took my spot in between the boys. Sirius moved over and took my cold hand in his. I could feel the warmth of his hand spreading through my body. He laid his head on my shoulder and James moved closer snuggling up to me. We sat there for so long and watched movie after movie. When Sirius snored was when James decided we should go up to bed. I levitated Sirius and walked up the stairs behind James. I laid him down on his bed and tucked him in, I kissed his forehead and then walked over to James. He had already laid down and was laying on his side. I saw his shoulders shaking with sobs. I pushed him over slightly and laid down next to him. I took him into my arms and held him until he fell asleep. I then sat there, all night running my fingers through his soft hair. Not thinking about anything just starring.

The next morning I wasn't sure if I slept or if I just sat there all night. I saw an owl pecking at their window and let it in. I noticed it to be Dumbledore's handwriting. He told us that he was planning the funeral and such, that we shouldn't worry it was all taken care of. It was to be for the Thursday of this week. I tried remembering what day it was. Ah it was in his letter. Today was Tuesday. Then I remember. Funeral, there was to be a funeral for Jane and James. I didn't know how I felt about that.

The day went by the same as yesterdays, me not talking. I haven't said one word since I asked Regulus who was laughing now. After dinner I went straight upstairs. I didn't know James followed me until I heard his angry voice from behind me.

"Xeomara! What are you doing?" I didn't turn around but I did stop. "What I meant to say is what are you doing to yourself? You're not feeling anything, you're not getting over it. You're hiding from it. You can't run away from this Zee! You don't have to be strong for us. I'm worried about you. Sirius is worried about you. You haven't spoken. You haven't eaten. Zee! You can't do this to yourself. You can't do this to us." I listened to him speak but I didn't say anything still. "You don't have to take care of us, screw what Dumbledore said. We can take care of each other. It's okay Maurie." He told me softly. "it's okay to cry." With that I whipped my head around and looked at him. I met his hazel eyes, the ones identical to his mothers. And I spoke for the first time.

"I can't!" I screamed "I can't cry!" I said this even though my voice was cracking and my chest was heaving. I continued to tell him that I couldn't even though I felt the familiar sensation of losing my breath. I felt tears pour down my cheeks. "I can't- I can't-" I couldn't finish what I wanted to say because finally I was crying. I would have fallen if James didn't catch me and hold me up. He pulled my tightly to him and supported all my weight. The feelings that I was running away from and hiding came back and I didn't feel numb anymore, just a terrible sadness that seemed to go on and on forever.


	20. The Funeral

I own nothing but the OC'S

Chapter twenty- the funeral

He held me in his arms whispers reassuring things in my ear, he didn't tell me it would be okay and he didn't tell me not to cry because he knew better. We all knew it would not be okay. At least not for a while. I continued on crying, I couldn't understand why. Why them? The nicest people in the world. The only people I ever considered to be my parents. They raised me, helped me grow up, they were there for me. Why them? Why not my biological parents? He shifted me so instead of simply holding me up he was carrying me. He set me down on the bed and without a second thought pulled me towards him. I buried my head in his shoulder thinking about the why's and what if's. I knew know that it was stupid for me to hide my feelings. Sirius always told me I couldn't run from things but it was how I am. I always run from things no matter what they are. I was never taught any other way.

I raised my head, not untangling myself from his arms and we locked eyes. At first I was shocked to see Jane's eyes staring back at me, but it was something I would have to get used to. Zee, please? He was pleading with me. He was trying to help me in every way possible. I think-, no, I know, my crying was breaking him. He wanted me to cry to let it out, but watching me cry because he's never seen me like this was, breaking his heart, just as his cry had shattered mine. I know I told him, I know. Still with minds connected we went on with our silent conversation of pleading and reassuring. Then I heard the door opened. Both of us fully crying now finally pulled our gazes away from each other and looked towards the door. Sirius stood there in the threshold unsure of what to do. But I could see a sudden relief on his face and I heard James, he was worried about you too. I raised my hand and beckoned him over. Without hesitation he walked over to us and he took me from James arms. I wasn't ready to let go of James yet and he knew if for he grabbed my hand tightly. Sirius was resting his head on top of mine and I could feel tear drops leaking onto my hair. I reached up and with my free hand wiped the tears off.

Next thing I knew all three of us were laying down on my bed. I was in the middle with James and Sirius on either side of me. I was had my one hand wrapped tightly around sirius' and my other around Jimmy's.

"Xeomara?" Sirius said breaking the silence.

"Yes?" I answered him, not looking away from the ceiling.

"I missed your voice." He told me sweetly. My eyes started burning with tears again and not even bothering to hide them I let them fall. "Don't do that to us again please?" he begged.

I couldn't even begin to sort out all the pain I was in right now. Everything was so jumbled in my mind that I'm not sure I could even try to relive what happened that day. Then suddenly I remember what else happened that day. I jumped up quickly and looked Sirius in the face.

"I am sooooo sorry! I didn't- I didn't- Your Brother! Oh merlin, I-" James cut of my rambling.

"What are you talking about?" surely they didn't forget what I did.

"I-Me- unforgiveable curse?" I finally said. Recognition immediately covered their faces. I looked down ashamed

"How did you do it?" James asked curiously, "I don't even know what happened, all I know is that after I finally stunned the death eater, you were laughing at him while you used the curse I-"

"I'm not sure how I did, I didn't even think of to stun him, or any other hex or jinx's I knew. It just came out. I didn't plan on using it, when I pointed my wand at him that's what burst through my lips. I'm just like them." I said closing my eyes. I felt two long fingers lift my chin up. I opened my eyes and was suddenly staring into fathomless grey eyes.

"You are _nothing_ like them. Do you hear me? Absolutely nothing like them." My wand hand starting to shake like it did the day I screamed that curse.

"I am! I am like them! I used the curse on him and laughed! I bloody laughed Sirius! How am I not like them? I even asked him who was laughing now like it was some big joke! I'm ashamed Sirius. How could you even look at me? Your brother, Sirius." I raised my voice to a yell. "I used the FUCKING cruciatus curse on your brother!" Both James and Sirius stared at me. Clearly at loss for words. I felt James take my hand again and we locked eyes. NO. I heard his voice clearly in my mind. You're Not! I just shook my head and I saw Sirius raise his eye brow.

"Love, listen to me." He told me sternly. "He is not my brother. Maybe by blood but he hasn't been my brother since age eleven. He's one of them, Zee. The dark side. How could I consider that, my brother?" I didn't have an answer for that but I still knew what I did was wrong. Prongs picked up on it.

"See! That proves our point! You care about what you did, you showed remorse for what you did. Do you think a death eater cares about killing, or torturing their victims? NO! They don't care at all. So you are nothing like them. You are Xeomara Elizabeth Raes. And you are my sister and best mate. Don't ever consider yourself to be as low as them. Do you hear me?" he all but screamed. James and Sirius words reassured me.

"Yes, I hear you." I told him. "But what would your parent's say?" I questioned him. We all sat quietly for a moment.

"They would have been proud that you faught back. They loved you Maurie, you were the daughter they never had. They always considered themselves your parents as much as they were mine. Don't ever feel you were an inconvenience or that they didn't love you. They did. You were their daughter. And I know you loved them. As your parents." I nodded sadly, tears filling my eyes again.

"Listen go to sleep okay? You look tired." He said softly.

Sirius added, "When was the last time you slept?"

"Three nights ago." I mumbled quietly. They both hopped out of bed quickly.

"Alright that's it! BED!" Sirius said. "Good night love." They turned around but stopped when I yelled out "Wait!"

They both turned around with the same expression on their face. To the raised eyebrows to the tight line of their lips.

"Can you stay with me?" I asked in a small voice. Their expressions soften and they both took either side of me on the bed. I laid my head on Sirius' chest, and James snuggled up to me gripping my hand tightly. I closed my eyes and before I knew it, I was finally sleeping.

I woke up the next day feeling better. Then I remember last night and then I remember Jane and James. My heart clenched. Does it ever get better? I answered my own question with a no, it doesn't I looked down and saw I was tangled with Sirius and James. I slowly slipped out from the bed without waking them to go downstairs to cook breakfast. Cooking was a great distraction. It was also a long distraction. Finally after an hour or so later the food was down and the table was set. I set down, again not eating. I might have not been feeling numb anymore but the thought of food. Uhh. I sipped my tea and finally the boys trotting down the stairs. When they entered the kitchen they both looked at me while they sat down as if waiting for me to crumble again, but I wouldn't. I gave them a small smile. They smiled back and began to eat.

"Still not eating Zee?" Sirius asked his mouth full. I smiled sheepishly and shrugged my shoulders innocently.

"Well eat soon okay?" James asked.

"Oh alright. James are you ready to see Flower, and our friends yet?" I asked him.

He looked up from his food thinking hard about something, wondering if he should tell me or not. But obviously he can't hide anything from me. I met his eyes and I felt the thoughts pouring in. Ha, he should have known. Then I stopped my triumphant smile. He didn't invite them over because he knew _I _wasn't ready.

"James! You could have invited them over; you shouldn't have worried about me. I would have just kept to myself anyway. If you wanted to see them, why didn't you say so!" I told him, clearly pissed off that he would do that. Sirius looked confused seeing as we didn't say it out loud. We never did tell him about how we could basically read each others thoughts. It was weird enough as it is, even me and James didn't talk about it we just used it to our advantage.

"Well I knew you were somewhat nervous, and well I heard you say it and then, I couldn't watch and suffer Maurie so don't get angry with me!" he yelled back.

"Oh alright. Accio Parchment and Quill." I said raising my wand. The paper and quill zoomed and landed in front of me on the desk. I wrote out three messages and walked over to the family owl sitting on the window. I handed him the messages and he was off. "I told them to come over as soon as they could. The funeral is tomorrow." I said looking down. Neither Padfoot or Prongs said anything. I chanced a glance up. Both of their plates were pushed away from them and their faces were blotchy and red. At the same time they put their faces in their hands. I walked over to them and put my hands on their shoulders.

"We'll get through this." I told them. "Together."

A knock on the door interrupted our movie we were watching on the muggle tv thing. I looked at the boys and got up to answer the door. When I pulled it open I saw Remus, Peter and Lily starring back at me. Their faces were red and tear stained. Remus grabbed my arms and pulled me in a bone crushing hug. I heard Lily run past me screaming "James!" Peter walked in slowly and I could hear him talking to Sirius.

"How are you Zee? Okay?" he asked still holding me.

"No, but I will be." I said he released me and then looked over my appearance. I saw him look me up and down and then he finally said.

"You're eating right?" I opened my mouth to say something when I heard,

"No, she isn't eating this is her third day!" Sirius said loudly. "Talk some sense into Moony, because she won't listen to us if we tried." He huffed. I grabbed Moony's hand and pulled him into the house. I looked and saw Peter giving James a hug. And Lily tightly wrapped in a hug by Sirius, her shoulders shaking with sobs. I heard him muttering soothingly in her ear trying to get her to stop.

"It's just so horrible!" she yelled pulling herself from his grasp and then her glaze turned on me. She must have saw something in the expression on my face because she cried slightly harder and walked over to me, her long skinny arms holding me. "Oh Xeomara." She said softly. Stroking my hair. I started crying with her and I heard Peter grasp. I didn't care that I never cried like this especially in front of everyone. They were my friends. I put my arms around lily and squeezed her tightly. When we both finally calmed down I pulled away and smiled at her through my tears.

"Hey Flower." She chuckled a little at this and gave me a watery smile.

Then we all found ourselves on James' very large sofa. Sirius sat on the end, and then came me, James, Lily, Remus and Peter on the far end. My hand was intertwined with Sirius'. Everyone was silent, just thinking. There didn't need to be words right now. We were all together and that's all that mattered. James, Sirius and I could have clearly died that afternoon to had we not fought back. Sirius then leaned in and I turned to find my eyes locked with his.

"I love you." He said leaning forward to kiss the tip of my nose, something we always did.

"I love you too." And it felt good to say it. Because I knew I always had him to fall back on. I looked at my boyfriend, my best mate and knew that if I had him everything would eventually be alright. He meant so much to me, I couldn't even begin to contemplate myself just how much. Then Remus spoke up.

"I know the basics, but how did they-," he broke off, and then forced out the word "die?"

James, Sirius, and I shared a look. Which one of us were going to say it. I looked at James and knew he wouldn't be able to. And I knew Sirius couldn't either. I know I couldn't but I would anyway. They deserved to know.

"We were upstairs getting ready to meet flower at Diagon Alley, because she was supposed to be staying with us. When I heard a scream. We grabbed our wands and then second we reached the part of the stairs were we would be seen, the one death eater he- he shot off two killing curses so fast that I could have imagined it." I closed my eyes feeling the tears well up. "All of us raised our wand and stunned him. I jumped over the railing as did the boys. They went after the other death eater while I went after," I paused and opened my eyes, tears running down my face now. They all stared back at me. All with their tears matching my own.

"After who?" Peter asked. I took a deep breath.

"Regulus." I spat out.

"Regulus-what? He isn't- He wouldn't?" Remus spluttered out.

"Oh but he would, I saw it with my own eyes. The dark mark." I heard Sirius exhale loudly. They all looked shocked.

"I dueled Regulus, while they dueled the other death eater. Then Dumbledore and the Weasley's came. The death eaters were taken to be questioned while, they let Regulus go." I finished the story. Neither James or Sirius decided to point out what I missed.

"Let him go?" Lily asked outraged. "Let him go?"

"He's sixteen Lily." I said. "Dumbledore would never harm a sixteen year old, no matter the circumstances."

"Well that is just bloody stupid! He is a death eater! Voldemort's," Peter gasped. "Oh Peter grow up! Followers. How could they not take him in that stupid vile-" I looked at Sirius and saw that his eyes were closed. No matter what he said they were still brothers and listening to this must have been painful. James was thinking along the same lines.

"Lily, Enough alright?" he said forcefully. She shut her mouth immediately. I started to tap my finger against my leg, now that I replayed the story in my mind it kept coming. The green lights, the blank stares, the laughter. Gods I hate feeling this way. I stood abruptly.

"I'll go make some lunch okay?" Without waiting for their replies I rushed out of the room the kitchen door swinging behind me.

-Remus' POV-

I watched as Zee, rushed out of the room. She was never like this, she was always calm and collected. I looked at James, who shook his head and got up to follow her. Sirius stayed where he was looking blankly at the ground.

"How bad was it Sirius?" I asked hesitantly. Lily locked her green orbs with mine silently thanking me for asking the question she was thinking.

"Bad." He croaked out. "She wouldn't even talk to us. When it happened she just shut down. She walked over to James and held him, then she held out her hand to me. We sat their James and I were both crying but she did nothing. I don't know what happened after I fell asleep, though James mentioned that Dumbledore carried me to my room. The next day we walked into the kitchen and the door swinging must have scared her." He looked up and stared past me staring at the kitchen door. "because she broke the glass she was carrying. She bent down and picked it up without magic!" She always used magic, she never did anything the muggle way. His eyes moved back to me. "Remus, it was terrible, she didn't even flinch as the glass cut her hand. I had to force her to clean it up. She then washed the dishes the muggle way." I saw how distressed Sirius was by this. I reached out around Lily and gripped his shoulder tightly and Lily grabbed his hand. "James was beside himself, saying how he never felt her like this whatever that means. He tried talking to her but I guess he scared her again because she almost hexed him. Then she dropped her wand and he had to tell her to take when she wouldn't take it from his hand. She didn't sleep, and she didn't eat."

I reached up and pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and pointer finger. "But she's better now?" I asked.

"A little, James got her to talk last night, after crying that is." He said solemnly. He then started to cry. He put his head in his hands and sobbed. Lily crying hard again grabbed his shoulders and brought him closer to her. I heard Peter sniffling next to me. I closed my eyes and let the tears run down my face. James' parents. They were some of the only wizards that didn't judge me because of my problem, they accepted me and cared for me when I was here. They didn't recoil from me in disgust but embraced me with love. I know everyone probably asked themselves this question, and I know I've been asking myself this since I found out, but why? How cruel can the world be to deprive James from his parents, and I added on Zee's parents. They were the only ones she's ever known. Sirius' too in a way. Mrs. Potter and Mr. Potter loved them all equally. To be truthful she loved us all. The number of times we stayed here. Hell, me and Peter had our own room. Though Zee just always choose to sleep with James and Sirius they could never seem to separate themselves. I wondered when this would get better for them, and if they would ever be themselves again.

I got up slowly and walked to the kitchen door, I was about to open it when I heard them talking.

"Jimmy, look at me. Look at me." She told him. "Getting revenge isn't going to help you now. When we graduate and we become official members of the order it will be our turn okay? We can save people from having this happen to them." The order? They knew about the order? I knew because my mom was a member but- then it hit me. Jane and James. They were member. Of course, it all made sense.

"I can't wait for that day Zee. I can't wait."

-Xeomara's POV-

I woke up the next morning and I didn't move I just laid their staring at the ceiling, something I've been doing often. I looked to my left and saw Lily sleeping peacefully. And I remember some of the conversation we had last night. We just talked for hours about today and how hard it would. Today being the funeral. I would have to deal with the fact that they were never coming back. I would never see them again after today. I got up slowly and walked into the bathroom. The shower was running already but I didn't care, it was probably only James or Sirius, seeing as Peter and Remus had their own bathroom in their own room. After two minutes of standing in there the water turned off. I stuck my hand in the curtain to give whoever was in there the towel they had sitting out.

"Love?" I heard Sirius ask.

"Hey." I said to him. He opened the curtains and pulled me into him arms. He kissed me softly on the lips and pulled back. I leaned in forward and kissed the tip of his nose.

"I'm scared." I said quietly.

"Me too." He answered back. "I've never done this before I don't know-" I cut him off with another kiss. This one lasted slightly longer. After what happened there is one major thing I realized. We never know what's going to happen and I wanted to spend as much time as I could with Sirius and my mates. I now understand what Jane meant about rushing to get married. It all made sense there was no guarantee to tomorrow. He pulled back.

"Alright, I'll let you get to your shower. I'll send James in when you're done." I nodded and he walked out. I got in the shower and let the hot water warm up my cold body. I was always cold now. I still haven't eaten and I'm still barely sleeping. Maybe after today I can start to move past this. Maybe after today I can finally comprehend that I will never see them again.

We all walked to the graveyard, my hand wrapped in Sirius. We were all wearing black dress robes. Lily had no makeup on today and her hair was wrapped up in a loose bun. My hair hung down in my face, covering up the scars so people I didn't know wouldn't question me. Today wasn't the day. We reached the part where the ceremony would begin. James, Sirius and I sat in the front row where the immediate family sat. Sirius and I protested but everyone including cousins and Aunts insisted they we were their children too, so we were moved to the front. I sat in the middle as per usual and the rest of our mates sat behind us. The minister started to speak.

"Today we our brought here today to celebrate the life of Jane and James Potter, two great people, extraordinary aurors, and loyal friends…" I blocked out his voice not wanting to here the minister speak. He had no idea what kind of people they were. What they stood for, what they lived for. Finally Dumbledore stood up first to speak.

"What can I say about the Potter's. They were close friends of mine, I've known little James, and Xeomara since they were babies." He talked on and on about the great friends he knew and about the funny times they had at Hogwarts. Like the times where they snuck out of castle or when they were seated in countless detentions. Or when they charmed their way out of trouble and I realized that it was true, we were just like them. He then sat down and by this time everyone was crying. Countless order members stood up to speak including Remus' Mother Luna (which yes, is a little ironic.) After everyone went that wanted to speak, James, Sirius and I stood and walked to the two caskets and faced the crying people. James spoke first.

"I may be conceited on countless occasions but I'm not afraid to say that I had the best parents in the world." A few people gave teary laughs at this. "I loved them more than myself, more than anyone. It was cruel. So cruel the way they were taken from me." He broke off and I squeezed his hand harder. "They were the best parents I could ever ask for. I'm not sure how to get on without them." He stopped again unable to utter another sentence. I spoke up my cracking.

"You all know, of course about my parents." I turned around and pointed to the caskets. "Here, they are right here. These two wonderful people are my parents. They raised me, punished me, cared for me. They were the greatest and most caring people I have ever met in my life. I loved them. No, I still love them and always will. And it was cruel, so incredibly cruel, but all we can do is not forget, and we can try and help the countless people who are doomed to have this same fate. I know them. I know this is what they wanted to do and they had no regrets." I couldn't continue at his point and I cut off and turned my head and laid in on James shoulders. He wrapped his arms around me and cried with me. Then I heard Sirius speak up in a hoarse voice.

"I'm a Black, yet these people. Jane and James, they took me in and gave me a home when I needed one. They were the best parents anyone could ever ask for. I used to be so jealous of James to be gifted with these wonderful parents. But then they accepted me. They accepted me into their family. And for that I will be forever grateful." I looked up and watched as he turned around and looked at them. "Good bye." He looked at us then and held out his hand to me. I took it aware of everyone and how their eyes followed us but I didn't care. I held on tightly still to James as we walked over and joined Sirius in front of the caskets. They had their arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I had my arms wrapped around their waists. I could hear everyone sobbing hard. I could even make out so people saying "Look how much they love each other" or "Aww those poor dears." But I didn't care. I looked into the faces of my parents. And I whispered to them exactly what I was thinking.

"Thank you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for taking care of me. Thank you for being my parents. I love you." I could barely make out the words.

James spoke up, his voice cracking worse with each word. "Good bye mum, Good bye dad. I love you." With that we turned around and made our way back to our seats. I put my head down and closed my eyes not wanted to watch the next part. I could hear the minister saying the ceremonial words. I could not watch them go into the ground. I couldn't bare seeing that. I kept seeing their smiling faces in my head and then I would see the faces I saw today, the blank peaceful expressions of Jane and James Potter. When I opened my eyes again I saw one headstone in its place:

**Jane Potter James Potter Sr.**

**December 14,1938-July 20,1977 August 29,1938- July 20,1977 **

**Beloved Parents, Loyal Friends**

**They Will Live On.**


	21. New Allies

I only own the OC'S!

It may take a little bit for the next chapter. I broke my thumb playing softball and well it's quite hard to type with a full cast. I'll get it up as soon as I can.

-smithchickx13

Chapter twentyone- new allies

The funeral ended leaving me with much more closure than I had before. It was still hard though, Pete, Remus and Lily decided to stay with us for the rest of the week. Most of it was spent outside in the lake or laying in our bedrooms. We had good days and bad days. Someday's I couldn't force James out of bed, and someday's he was the one forcing me or Sirius out of bed. Remus was constantly trying to get me to eat something seeing as Sirius and James gave up because for some reason, now they were barely eating themselves (I suspect they were only eating before to try and make me feel better). After the week was up they all went home with promises to owl us, I'm sad to say that after they left, James Sirius and I cut the crap and didn't even move out of bed most days. We didn't have to act like we were okay and we didn't have to pretend to smile. It was so much work getting out of bed for all of us that we were tired all the time. As school was only a week away we finally little by little started to get out of bed and go back outside to enjoy the lake. Little by little I also started eating again, seeing as James mentioned how much weight I lost when we were swimming in the lake. Finally five days before we were to go back to school our Hogwarts letter's came. I passed everything with flying colors, even without studying shows what that prat Amy knows. The boys also passed with the same grades I did. Then we were both surprised to find James made Head Boy. Even Sirius and I weren't too upset to tease him about this. It was the first time we all had a good laugh since it happened. He assured us that it didn't mean we couldn't prank people every once in awhile. Sirius made a slip by saying imagine what Jane would say. That shut us all up pretty quickly. The laughing stopped and ended with tears.

It was hard, so hard to think about them. How could someone simply be here one day laying out by the pool with you asking if they could give you away at your wedding and be gone days later? How is possible for someone to take away what meant so much to you? How could those death eaters kill without a care in the world? There were so many questions that I had, that would never be answered. And I hated it. Me, who always had the answers to almost everything, was clueless.

On the first day going back to Hogwarts we woke up a half hour before the train left. I woke up in the middle of James and Sirius as usual seeing as we didn't even bother to sleep separate anymore because if we did then one or two of us would have to get up and lay in the other bed for the rest of the day because we never left. None of us were too excited about going. We had a talk about whether or not we would go for our last year, or just go straight to the order but we all knew what Jane and James would say, so we decided to go.

I rolled over Sirius and stood up. "Well this is it." I told them. I got up not bothering to do my hair just putting it in my sloppy bun. I got dressed in jeans and a hoodie. James and Sirius got up and dressed quietly, dressing the same way I did, jean and hoodie. We all looked horrible. I know, I know we're supposedly the three best looking kids in our year but after what happened we didn't sleep, we hardly ate and we just plain looked tired all the time. I felt tired all the time, like it physically drained me to walk.

We walked into the train station with five minutes to spare. Our heads down watching the ground as we walked. We carried our trunks and didn't look up and we made our way through the barrier. Everyone was bustling around and were really loud. Seeing as I haven't heard this much noise in awhile I dropped my trunk and covered my ears. I looked and saw James and Sirius did the same thing. As they walked by us people would stare and whisper things. Of course they all new. It was a huge story in the Prophet. Jane and James Potter, head aurors killed by death eaters! And also do you know how many witches and wizards attended that funeral. Everyone saw us.

When we walked by another seventh year Hufflepuff, she gave us a pitying look. "Don't look at me like that you pushover." I snarled. She looked taken aback. I felt Sirius hand on my shoulder pushing me forward. We walked along the train everyone stopping dead in the tracks and conversations to stare.

"I wish they wouldn't stare." I said quietly.

"I know, Maurie believe me, I know." James said. Finally we reached the compartment in the back where we always sat and walked in.

"Merlin, I was beginning to think-" Remus started. Then said, "What in the hell happened to you guys, you look terrible." We all stared at him dryly.

"Thanks mate." Sirius said sarcastically. We all put our trunks on the shelf and sat down. Lily put her arms around James and gave him a big hug.

"Hey sweetie." She said kissing his cheek.

"Hello flower." He said back. I guess since I haven't been around people much I haven't noticed how dull his voice sounded. Did mine and Sirius sound that way too?

"Hey guys." Peter said.

"Hey wormy" I said back trying to smile but failing miserably. My life sucks.

"Well don't you guys look," Lily was trying to search for a word, "Happy." She eventually said.

I just shrugged. "What did you guys do after we left? Did you even attempt to get out of bed?" James, Sirius, and I exchanged a look wondering what we should tell them. We decided with the truth.

"No." James muttered.

"Oh, James." Lily said sadly. He just shook his head. Then Lily hopped up from her seat quickly.

"Whoa flower, too much movement, you're making my head spin." I said clutching my spinning head.

"Sorry," she said quickly. "James, we have to go to the Heads Department!" She said loudly. I clasped my hands over my ears as did Prongs and Padfoot.

"Alright women, just don't yell." He whispered. Everyone gave us strange looks but didn't comment. She pulled his hands up and pushed him through the door.

"See you later!" She said brightly, then closed the door. With more room on the seat I stretched my body across it with my head laying in Sirius' lap.

"I'm tired." I said yawning.

"Tired?!" Remus asked. "I bet all you guys did was sleep!" When Sirius nodded Remus made a noise of outrage. "And you think you'll feel better if you just lay there thinking about it all day, as oppose to getting up and doing something distracting?" he asked.

"Moony I don't know, you're making my head hurt with all these questions." He sighed.

"Did you guys do your summer homework?" I sat up quickly. No I didn't. Dammit!

Sirius looked at me wondering if I did it. "Don't give me that look, you know damn well what I did the last month and it was nothing! Dammit! McGonagall is going to murder us. You know, I think I'm going to take a trip to the Astronomy tower when we get to school." I told them.

"Why is that?" Wormy asked.

"To jump off." I said seriously.

"I think I might join you." Sirius told me, also seriously.

"Okay! That's it! I will make you three get up and do something. No more moping. You know what Jane always said, What's life without a little mischief. She wouldn't want you moping around! You guys are going to get up and do something dammit!" Remmie screamed at us.

"I-I don't know what to say to you." Peter said. He to sounded mad.

"Be prepared for a discussion when Lily and James get back." Remus snarled. I just sighed and resumed my position.

About an hour or so later they came back, James still looked tired and a mess and Lily looked angry. "Remus! Peter! That's it we are having a talk with them right now!" she demanded.

"I was thinking the same thing Lily, I waiting for you to get back." Remus said loudly.

"Uhhhhhhhhhh." I groaned.

"You three cannot continue to do this. I know I hate all your pranks but I will bloody allow you to go play a prank on the Slytherins." Lily said.

"Don't feel like it." James said. Wait. James not wanting to prank anyone? I just realized how seriously bad this situation was. I didn't want to either and that's what's scaring me. I always want to prank someone.

"James, I think we are in a seriously bad situation." I told him.

"How so?"

"We don't want to prank anyone. Think about. You, Sirius and Me not pranking and or planning a prank. This is bad." James eyes widened.

"Oh Merlin! You're right!" he yelled.

"This is bad!" Sirius agreed. Then it was like we suddenly snapped out of our slump.

"Who should we get first?" I asked.

"I was thinking hmm, Snape? He's always fun." James said.

"Yeah, maybe we should bring Avery in to this. We could sneak into the Slytherin common room, we haven't really done that before." The others looked at us as if we were crazy. We suddenly went from depressed kids, to the most notorious pranksters the school as ever seen. In other words we were sort of acting like ourselves again.

"No wait!" I interrupt them.

"What is it?" they ask in unison.

"Maria." I say with an evil grin. I watch as they grin back at me.

"Maria." They agree.

"Ravenclaw common room. I have a feeling, she is going to love for her blond hair to be dyed maroon. It would look simply lovely on her." I said still smiling.

"You know, I believe you're right." Sirius said. "But I think we should add it in her shampoo along with itching powder."

"Excellent idea, mate." James laughed.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh no, what have I done?" she asked herself. We just cracked up.

The rest of the ride was spent planning our prank for my cousin Maria and just laughing. I felt better than I had in weeks and this time it wasn't an act. And I knew they felt better too. After the speech and the great dinner, we were once again called to the headmaster's office. He sat in front of us his eyes sad.

"Well good evening James, Xeomara, and Sirius." He said smiling, but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Good evening sir." We said back.

"I haven't had time to check on you since the um- funeral, we've been quite busy with the order."

"Quite alright." I said to him. He looked at us strangely for a moment.

"I need your help." I looked to my left and shot a confused look to James who mirrored my expression.

"With what sir?" Sirius asked him.

"I know you're not order members yet, but I was wondering if you would do a mission for us." I smiled broadly at him.

"Of course!" I told him. He smiled down at me and this time his eyes twinkled.

"I should never of course ask this of students, or allow you to break school rules but times are tough and it needs to be done. I want you three to do whatever you can to spy on the slytherins and the ravenclaws. I need you to find out which students are death eaters though I'm assuming you already know. I want you to keep track of what they do and let me know if you hear anything." He stopped for a moment and then said "suspicious."

"I think we have just the tools for that sir." James said laughing a little.

"Why am I not surprised James." He said laughing along with him. He turned serious again. "You three had better make sure you don't tell anyone of your mission and don't get caught because if you do.." he trailed off.

"We won't sir." I said smugly, some of my confidence coming back.

"Good, you may go." With that we walked down the stairs. We were laughing and talking about the prank we were going to pull tomorrow night when I heard a voice behind me call my name. I whipped my head around to see Regulus coming out from behind the tapestry. What does he want to talk to me for? And besides is he crazy, what is he playing at. Does he honestly think I want to talk to him?

I walked over and cornered him. James and Sirius standing behind me.

"Oh, and what could you want of me Black?" I sneered. He looked a little scared of me and then I remember what happened last time we met. "Ah, this predicament is similar to the last time we met is it not?" I asked laughing coolly.

"I- I wanted to-" I cut him off not wanting to listen to him.

"Wanted to what Black? What do you think you're playing at coming to talk to me. What are you even doing here? We all know you serve Voldemort. Why bother coming to school. You know, I think you must be extremely thick. You are aware that the headmaster is Albus Dumbledore right? Who also knows you're a death eater. And yet you come to this school why?" Not waiting for him to answer I pulled out my wand.

"I wanted to talk to you actually- I wanted to-" he looked away nervously.

"Talk to her?! What could you possibly have to say to a blood traitor?!" Sirius questioned him angrily.

"Brother please, I-" I cut him off with a fist the nose. I heard a loud crunch and Regulus lifted his hand to hold his nose which was now leaking blood.

"Xeomara I-" I raised my hand to him again but James grabbed my wrist.

"I think you've done enough damage to the kid, don't you think? It's not worth it." He was referring to the curse I used on him summer break. I nodded and dropped my hand and pocketed my wand.

"You're lucky. It was stupid of you to come here." I then spun on my heel and stomped away. I noticed James next to me but Sirius hadn't moved. He was looking at his little brother but he didn't say a word. He opened his mouth but closed it quickly and the turned to follow us.

We reached Gryffindor tower and the common room was empty. I kissed Sirius good night and gave James and hug and kiss.

"I think we'll sleep better tonight now that we're not home, yeah?" James asked. I nodded and went to my room. I didn't sleep though, not yet. I laid there staring at my ceiling which I enchanted to look like stars. Then I heard the fluttering of wings and turn to see a silver patronus in the shape of an eagle.

"Meet me outside the forbidden forest." It said. I didn't know anyone who had an eagle but I knew I was going anway. I got up not bothering to get changed into clothes and ran out of the portrait. I made it to the forest and no one was there yet so I transformed to wait for who it would be. Hidden behind a tree I waited for ten minutes until I saw a dark shape walk towards where I was supposed to be meeting the person. As the person got closer I realized it was Regulus. I transformed back quickly and stepped out of the trees.

"Black." I greated coldly.

"Xeomara." He used my first name?

"You better have a good reason for pulling me out here in the middle of the damned night." He didn't answer for a second and it was then that I took a good look at him. He normally tanned skin was pale and his cheeks were sunken in. His eyes were more duller than I had ever seen them and he looked like he lost a lot of weight. I feel like I could pick him up and snap him in half like a tooth pick. His hair was messier, and longer than before. I looked back to his eyes again and saw that they were filled with tears. Regulus? Crying?

"I do." He said his voice cracking. I then felt bad for him, I know after what happened I shouldn't but I can't help it. He is my boyfriends brother.

"Regulus? What is it?" I ask softly. His face breaks and then he starts to cry. His hands in his head and his shoulders shaking with loud sobs.

"He's horrible!" he says loudly. "I hate him, I hate him!" I reach forward and put my hands on his shoulders.

"Who Regulus? Who?" He looks down and meets my eyes.

"Voldemort." He snarles, tears rolling down his cheeks still. At first I thought he was lying, then my second though was he called him voldemort not the dark lord, or master. Then my third though was why is he telling me this? As if reading my thoughts he said. "You said you could help me. I want your help. I want to get out." I still wasn't sure if he was sincere or not. How could I trust a death eater. How do I know it's not a trap and it won't get me killed.

"Why?"

"I-I at first I was astonished by his power, and I wanted it. I wanted all the power he could give me. I didn't care about all the pureblood and muggle-born crap I just wanted the power. Then now that I have it, I don't want it. Not the way he uses it." I stare at him while he speaks and I then realized how different he looks from Sirius. At first I always thought they looked alike same features same hair, and color of eyes but really, where Sirius looks young and playful, Regulus even though he is younger looks old and worn out. "The things he makes me do." He shuddered. "I can't do it anymore. When Dumbledore sent me back that night, I was punished. I was sent there to kill my brother and I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill him." He looked down.

"Regulus, I don't know what to say. I don't know if I can trust you. I want to help you. I want to help you so much but how do I know you aren't lying."

"Take me to Dumbledore. Give me the truth potion." He said simply. Good idea.

"Let's go." I grab him hand and hold it in mine. He seems a little shocked by this but doesn't lets it go. When we reach the gargoyles I already know the password "lemon drop." The gargoyles jumped aside and we walked up the stairs and I knocked on the door. After a few moments of silence I heard "Come in."

I walked into his office with Regulus at my side. He looked at me with his eyes brow raised.

"I need your help sir." With that being said we sat down and both explained to him what Regulus told me just a few minutes ago. I thought he would look shocked but he didn't.

"I excepted as much." He told him. "I could tell you were different. I knew you were only in there for the power, but power can only take you so far." Regulus nodded.

"I am going to give you Veritaserum." He summoned it with his wand and gave it to Regulus to sip, he took a large sip and handed it back.

"Do you wish to leave Tom's ranks?" he asked sharply.

"Yes. I despise Voldemort." He answered back. I was surprised at all the hatred in his voice.

"Do you wish to do anything you can to get away from him?" Dumbledore asked again.

"Yes sir, I'd do anything."

"Curious, would you become a spy for the order of the phoenix?" I gasped, was he serious?

"Yes." He answered back again.

"I think that's all the questioning we need. Welcome to the right side Regulus." He said extending his hand. Regulus shook it without hesitation. He then turned to me. "Thank you." He sounded sincere.

"You're welcome. But sir, a spy?" I asked turning my attention to Dumbledore.

"Yes. It would be the only way for now. Later when things change for the better it would be safer to pull him out but if he really wants this then this is the only way."

"I want this sir." He said definitely.

"This could go bad for all us, if you are not true." Dumbledore told us. "Especially for you Xeomara." He looked at me, then to Regulus. "You are aware that this could get her killed." Regulus looked at me. "If this goes badly and you are lying or you fail in your mission all it takes is some simple mind reading, and Xeomara would be killed." I could feel Regulus eyes on me but I looked at Dumbledore. "Are you willing to risk this Xeomara, do you believe in him that much?" I thought about it for a second. Was I willing to risk everything to help someone get away from Voldemort. No, not just someone but Sirius' brother? Imagine how this would make Sirius feel to know, what his brother wants to do. Would I die for this? Yes. Of course I would.

"I trust him with my life sir." I said staring at Regulus now. "Don't disappoint me."

He smiled at me gratefully. "I owe you everything Xeomara, Thank you." He told me again. I smiled back at him.

"Here are the rules. Every month after you're meetings and such you and Xeomara are to report back to me. You are a team understood? Xeomara is a spying on the children while you are spying on the out of school death eaters. Be careful and don't get caught. You both are forbidden to tell anyone of what you do or hear but me. Xeomara, you must keep this a secret from your friends for now." I looked down thinking of how I was going to lie to James. But I needed to do this and I would. I would find someway.

"I will sir." I told him.

"Good. Now Regulus, I will see you this time next month. Or if you have urgent information contact Xeomara using you're patronus and get to me immediately. Same for you Xeomara. Everything understood?" he asked again

"Yes Headmaster." Regulus said.

"Okay, off to bed both of you. I seem to always be saying that to you don't I Miss. Raes." He laughed.

"You sure do sir." Once we reached the hallway he stopped me.

"I want you to know something, your eldest sister Amanda and her Husband our death eaters."

"Thank you for telling me, but since I already trust you I have no fear as to tell you this. They are also spies for the order. If you speak a word of this to anyone I will kill you myself." I told him seriously. He nodded. "I'm sure Dumbledore will have you meet with them so they know you're on both sides. If not things could go wrong."

"I know. I really can never thank you enough. My brother is lucky to have you. Xeomara really, you-" I smiled at him.

"Call me Zee, and really you can stop thanking me. This is just as much my job as it is yours. I'll become an order member when I graduate. This is I guess a test mission."

"Zee, you really are something." He said and then he gave me a true genuine smile. "Be good to my brother yeah?" he asked.

"I will, I promise you, that one day you will be able to have a real relationship with him. It won't always be like this. It will get better. I promised I'd help you get away now I'm promising you that. Now do something for me. Be careful Reggie." He didn't comment on the nickname I used for him.

"I will, and you better be as well." With that he turned and walked away, but then called over his shoulder "See you soon." I stood there watching him walk away. I didn't have a bad feeling about this at all. I knew I did the right thing and I had complete faith in him. I knew he wasn't lying, I knew he was telling the truth. I thought back to when he cried and told me how horrible he was and how scared he looked. Then I remembered how I used the cruciatus curse on him this summer. Next time, we meet I'll apologize. Though one thing continued on in the back of my mind as I walked to Gryffindor tower, what if this ends badly?


	22. The Black Brothers

I Own Nothing But My OC'S!

Oh and by the way I'm writing another Sirius/OC story. I'll post the first few chapter soon. It's called "Our Angel." It's written from the Marauders and my OC'S Point of View.

smithchickx13

Chapter twentytwo- The Black Brothers.

The next day I'm sitting in lunch with my head slumping on the table. After getting back from the Headmaster's office I tried sleeping but seeing as luck chooses to rarely ever be on my side I couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Regulus and Voldemort were slipping in and out of my mind for the rest of the night.

"What's wrong, love?" Sirius asked me. I removed my head from the table and met his fathomless grey eyes.

"Tired." I sighed deeply and turned my head to James who at the exact moment turned away from Lily and caught my eye. He smiled warmly at me and my thoughts and painful memories vanished leaving me feeling calm. I closed my eyes and sighed this time in relief. "Thanks." I thought. James seemed to get the message because he laughed.

"What are you laughing at James?" I hear Lils ask him. I opened my eyes and shot him a grin.

"Nothing, My sweet Lily flower." She huffed and looked away, muttering under her breath.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." Remus told her, his eyes twinkling.

"Oh sod off Remus, I barely slept last night with Zee entering the dorm at a late hour." My eyes widened in shock. Dammit! I thought she was asleep. I felt all eyes turn to me.

"Where were you?" Peter asked me.

"I assume she was with Sirius." Lily said. How in the hell am I supposed to lie my way out of this.

"No, she wasn't with me." Sirius said accusingly. I searched and finally met James eyes once again. Where we began having our silent conversation. "Where were you?" he asked me, "I wasn't cheating. Honest James." "Obviously." He said back in a duh sort of way. "I can't tell you now, but I will soon and it will be for the best. Promise you won't question it." Alright he told me, "I won't question it." "And" I began. "Don't search for it either!" I just heard his laughter inside my head. "Fine."

"Just leave her alone guys, maybe she just wanted some alone time. She's been through a lot in the last year." James said aloud.

Remus always the first one to give in sighed out, "Oh alright." With Peter quickly agreeing. Lily nodded her head. Sirius however didn't say anything. I gripped his hand underneath the table. He turned and looked at me.

"It will get easier." He said. I almost laughed out loud at this. I don't think my life was meant to be easy. If anything, it will only get harder.

James and Lily left the common room at about eight, along with Remus who had head and prefect duties. I was laying in the common with my head in Sirius' lap. Peter was in the arm chair.

"Isn't funny how Prongs sort of deflated his head a bit?" I asked them. I heard Sirius' charming laughter at this and Peter's little squeak.

"To be honest I think we all did." Sirius told me. Well I guess he was right in away. "For some reason this year, us the Marauders didn't think we were god gift to earth. In all honestly I guess it was really Jane and James death that brought this on. We lived in a perfect world where we thought that we could be forever away from the horror of the war." He said. I nodded at him, smiling sadly.

"It's like a wakeup call, huh?" I said, they just nodded.

Sirius was right of course. Once I left my parents house I thought everything would stay the same. Nothing would change, I could live with James and Sirius and His parents and not have to witness death or fight before I was ready. Until it was my choice. But as my fate has it, things did change. I watched two people who I thought of as my parents die right in front of my eyes, I used the cruciatus curse on Reggie, and fought death eaters. Nothing stayed the same. Everything is different and it always would be.

Sirius began running his fingers softly through my hair. My eyes closed at his touch and I breathed out a sigh. "Why don't you get some sleep before we go play that prank, love." My eyes still closed I nodded and I felt his lips graze my forehead.

"I love you." Was the last thing I said before sleep over took me.

I was shaken away by Sirius what felt like only ten minutes later. "How long was I asleep?" I mumbled sleepily.

"About a good five hours. It's 2 we had to wait for Lily to finally go to bed and to make sure the Ravenclaws would be asleep too." He told me. I stood up and slowly and stretched.

"Well are we ready?" Moony asked us.

"Of course!" James, Sirius and I said in unison. Peter rolled his eyes. Without warning Peter transformed and James picked him. We huddle close to eachother as Sirius threw the cloak around us. I was handed the map and quickly opened it. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Sirius and Moony were handed the itching powder and hair dye.

Quietly and quickly we traveled over to the Ravenclaw common room. We stopped right outside a knocker in the shape of an eagle. Looking around to see that no one was there I signaled for Remus to take the cloak off. Once it was off the eagle spook up.

"What is something you can see inside yourself, but others having a hard time believing?" I thought about it for a moment. Something you can see inside yourself, yet others find it hard believing. What would someone have a hard time believing? Just as James was asking if anyone understood it the answer came to me.

"The Truth." I told the eagle smiling. I felt the confused glazes of my boys on me.

"Correct." The doorway swung open. "You may enter." Without waiting for the boys I walked into the common room and gasped. It was beautiful. The circular room had a midnight blue carpet and the domed ceiling painted with stars. It was easily the highest tower excluding the astronomy tower. It was airy and during the day I could tell that the Ravenclaws would have a great view of the mountains surrounding the school. The arched windows hung with blue and gold silks. The room was furnished with tables, large couches and endless amounts of book shelves. By the door leading to the what I assumed was the dormitories was a statue of Rowena Ravenclaw carved in pure white marble.

"Wow." I heard Peter exclaim. At the same time Sirius said "It's really something."

"Sure is." Moony said. I walked over the statue and ran my fingers lightly against. So this was my great times probably a thousand grandmother. I looked up into her face and smiled. She really was royally beautiful. Her face was carved in uttermost beauty with sharp features that made her look almost aristocratic.

"Come on, lets go." Remus said close to my ear. I nodded and pulled open the door. I pointed my wand at the girl staircase and muttered the spell so that the boys could walk up. We slowly made our way up the stairs and entered the room that marked 7th year girls. Smiling devilishly, I opened the door and cast quick silencing charms on the bed hangings so we wouldn't wake the girls. I walked over to my cousins bed ready to just curse her personally when James grabbed my arm. I turned around to face him and he rolled his eyes impatiently. We hurried into the bathroom, pouring the itching powder and maroon dye in the shampoo bottle marked "Maria" I laughed softly to myself thinking of how long she would have to walk around with maroon hair. Oh this was just to priceless.

Without slowing down we ran down the step and through the cloak back over us before, walking back to our own common room. We walked up to the boys dorm and got into our respectable beds. I climbed in next to Sirius and snuggled up next to him. My head buried into the crook of his next. I kissed it softly, murmuring "Goodnight". He sighed deeply and spook into my ear,

"Goodnight love. Sweet dreams." His breath tickled my ear and I shivered slightly. He chuckled to himself and wrapped his arms tighter around me. Soon the sounds of his deep breathing, matched my own and I found myself thinking of how lucky I am to have found him before I fell asleep.

The next day was Saturday and when I woke up, and found the boys still sleeping I detangled myself from Sirius, not wanting to wake him and all but ran to my own dorm. I took and quick shower, trying not the think about the lying I was doing to my friends and my boyfriend. Shaking myself of my thoughts I got out of the shower and got dressed into some muggle jeans and tee shirt. Lily was up and about when I left the washroom.

"Hey!" She said happily, getting dressed.

"Hey there. Hot date today?" She grinned sheepishly.

"James and I were actually thinking about going to Hogsmeade." My eyes widened.

"Lily Evans, sneaking out? Simply amazing!" I said jokingly.

"Well yeah." Her smile was still a little sheepish and then changing the subject "Well you seem better, more like yourself." Well to be honest I did feel a little better. I had quite a few things to which have become distractions for me.

"Yeah, I feel better." I told her smiling. Her own smile was sad and she reached forward and hugged me. I hugged her back tightly, feeling very comforted by being in the arms of one of my bestfriends.

"I'm glad." Me too Lily, me too. I thought

Down at breakfast I was sitting in our usual spot talking loudly with the boys when suddenly the great hall burst out in laughter. I turned towards the door and my own laughter chimed out loudly. There stood my cousin violently scratching her now maroon colored hair. The other boys burst out laughing as well, though Remus was trying to hide his with a cough. Maria made a bee line for us stopping right in front of us glaring.

"Vous avez fait ceci! Vous et vos petits amis!" She screeched at me in french, pointing to her hair. {Translation: You did this! You and your little friends!} I smiled at her in a mocking short of way.

"Petits amis ? Ils sont n'importe quoi mais peu. Mais cela outre le point, je mon cher cousin n'a fait rien du genre." {Little friends? They are anything but little. But that's besides the point, I my dear cousin did nothing of the sort} Her glare hardened. People were staring at us seeing as we were speaking French and no one but the Slytherins, a select few ravenclaw and Sirius knew what we were saying.

"Don't lie!" She yelled this time in English. "You did it! This has you and your friends written all over this!"

"But my dear cousin, I'm curious. How is it that you think _I _or my mates would be able to enter the Ravenclaw common room. Surely you haven't forgotten that I am a Gryffindor?" I sneered.

Her lip curled slightly. "Oh trust me cousin, I haven't forgotten. Neither have your dear parents." My face lost its smirk and my hand reached automatically towards my wand. I felt a warning hand on my back and took my hand away from my pocket.

I leaned into her and whispered very softy, "Ces murs de bleu, cette belle vue, et la jamais belle statue séduisait simplement." {Those blue walls, that lovely view, and the ever beautiful statue were simply alluring.} Sirius coughed out a laugh and her perfectly fixed eyes brows raised in shock. I then heard a voice.

"Is there a problem Xeomara? Maria?" I turned around and faced McGonagall. I put on my most charming smile, but before I could speak Maria got there first.

"Not at all Professor. Just merely associating with my dear cousin. I'll just say goodbye and take my leave." She turned towards me and pulled me into a tight embrace. I stood there frozen. Her icing voice in my ear tore me from my shock. "You will pay, someday cousin. Someday." With that she pulled away and strutted to go and sit with Black. I put the smile back on my face as McGonagall looked at me questionatly. Once she walked away I sat down in my seat.

"What in the bloody hell was that all about." Peter said.

"Oh just the usual, you're going to pay cousin. I told her I loved the walls, the view and the statue. I said I found them alluring." James grinned at me.

"Excellent."

"So it really was you?" Lily asked us not in the least frowning. She seemed to be quite pleased.

"Who else would it be Lily." Remus answered for her. Sirius leaned forward and placed his lips at my ear. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"You know, we haven't really gotten much time to ourselves lately." Realizing what he was hinting I stood up suddenly and grabbed his hand.

"Sirius and I are just going to uh-urm go uh leave- Yeah leave. See you all later." With that I all but pulled him out of the hall urging him to hurry up and we headed towards the Room and Requirements. We reached it, was only then that I dropped his hand and paced back and forth three times before the door appeared. I grabbed his hand again and pulled him through the door way roughly. I slammed the door with my foot and pushed him up against it and violently put my mouth on his. He responded immediately. His finger tips trailing softly up my spine making me shiver and push myself harder against him. His tongue was doing circles in my mouth, making me almost want to groan in pleasure. He pulled his mouth from mind trailing kisses down my jaw line to the crook of my neck, nuzzling and sucking on it briefly before going up to my ear where we gently began nipping at it with his teeth. Getting frustrated my I pulled his mouth to me again. He began walking up backwards until my knees hit the end of a bed and he pushed me on, climbing on top of me.

He body was pressed against mine in every way possible. We fit together perfectly. Our hands connected behind my hand laying flatly on the soft bed. He groaned it my mouth before, I broke it and began trailing kisses down his neck and softly biting and sucking it, my hand inside his tee shirt running my nails along his back. He groaned again and his tongue began to attack mine. On an unspoken agreement like always we broke apart. He rolled off of me breathing heavily. My own breaths coming in short gasps as I tried to control it. Sirius and I have still yet to have sex. Don't get me wrong, Sirius and I are no virgins both of us having a few partners before but we've never done it with someone we loved. It was different and we both knew it. When Sirius and I had sex I want it to be special, because I know it will be a lot different than doing it with anyone else and I knew he would feel the same way.

He rolled over on his side, and I rolled over on mine facing him. He had an alluring smile on his face. His white teeth showing brightly in the dark.

"I like the room." It was then that I took the time to notice the room. Everything was black. The walls, the carpet, the curtains, the furniture. The sheets were made of black satin and the comforter was pure silk. I smiled at my taste.

"I think I do too." Running my hands over the silk of the comforter. "It's been awhile huh?" I asked him.

"Sure has." I closed my eyes briefly before opening the again and staring into his.

"We haven't really talked either without James, the boys and Lily." He nodded. "How are you really feeling?" He looked away from me and down at the bed.

"I just still can't wrap my mind around it. They're gone. They're really gone." I took a deep breath before answering.

"They really are, love. They really are." He cupped my cheeks in his large hands and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"I love you." I stared deep into his shining grey eyes. I knew he really meant it. I felt it everytime he's ever told me, but it still felt good to see it in his eyes and not only hearing it in his words.

"I love you too."

I was heading up to the boys dorm later that night with Sirius when I felt something gently nipping at my ankles. What I saw made me almost gasp. It was slivery white patronus in the shape of an eagle. _Reggie's_. It faded quickly before Sirius saw it.

"What were you looking at?" I met his eyes quickly.

"Nothing." I knew I had to get to him fast but I couldn't for the life of me come up with a good enough lie. I heard a pecking at the window and saw a small black owl. I ran over to it, and it dropped a letter in my hand.

**Xeomara,**

**I wish to see you in my office. Meet me first in the corridor, and I will then give you the password. It is a most urgent matter.**

**Sincerely,**

**Professor Dumbledore.**

I knew for a fact that it wasn't Dumbledore's hand writing seeing as I used to take private lessons with him all the time. I read the letter aloud to Sirius.

"I'll be back soon." I said kissing him one last time before sprinting out of the portrait. I ran through the halls quickly trying to get there as fast as I could. I came to a halt when I almost ran into Regulus. He steadied my shoulders and light chuckle escaped his lips.

"Alright Zee?" He asked. I nodded trying to catch my breath. I began shouting different candies at the gargoyles before they opened to "Sherbert Lemon." We both ran to the door at the top of the steps and knocked loudly.

"Headmaster!" I called out.

"Well do come in, Mr. Black, Miss Raes." I heard from behind the door. Without a second though we burst through.

"Sir, we have no time to spare. The death eaters are heading towards that large wizarding village just south of here! They were ordered to take hostages and kill anyone who does not wish to serve him. Please alert the Order!" He yelled out. Dumbledore, his eyes hard quickly got up from his desk and walked over to the fire place.

"Arthur and Molly Weasley." He yelled into the flames. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I could guess basically what it was. He turned sharply on us after speaking.

"You two are to stay here until I get back." Without another word he walked over to spot in his office and quickly disapparated.

"Thank you." I told him.

"For what?"

"For doing this obviously. I hope you know how many lives you're saving." He looked down and nodded his head.

"What's it like? Being a death eater? How do you get initiated? What is Voldemort like?" I blurted out all at once. He looked up and chuckled uneasily.

"You sure ask a lot of questions." I grinned sheepishly. "Well, I never honestly ever wanted to be a death eater. I wasn't quite sure I believe in all that pureblood nonsense I mean, I saw muggle-born wizards every day and I knew that from the books I read they could do extraordinary magic just like any pureblood."

"I thought the same things. So did your brother." I interrupted. He smiled fully at me now.

"My cousins talked me into it. Narcissa, and actually your cousin as well. Bella was bursting with excitement about joining, she begged and begged until I finally agreed. Seeing as we were Blacks, Voldemort over looked our ages and wanted us in right away. We were told to be brought the next meeting which was the day after we left Hogwarts. My mother and father were so excited and so proud of me yet I couldn't help but think about what you and Sirius did. How you got away and I almost wished I could do that. But I was a coward and I wanted to make my parents proud. Do something my perfect brother never did." I nodded and he continued.

"For our initiation we were brought into this large, cold and damp basement. There was only five recruits. Me, Bella, Your sister Jessica, and two others whose names I can't remember."

"My sister?" He nodded, "She wasn't a death eater before that?"

"Nope, first timer." He said sarcastically. "There were cells down there filled with five muggles. 2 old men, a man about thirty, and a women about 25. And there was one little boy. With the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen. He don't look as frightened as the other people, but I could still tell he was scared. He brought us in the center of the circle and spoke to us. He is tall and I admit I was scared of him. He had dark black hair, and the blackest eyes but somehow I could see a tinge of red in them. He was powerful, so powerful you could almost feel it coming off of him." I shivered at the thought. "He began to speak to us about how this was a great honor and such and about how we shouldn't be worried. He then told us our task which was to practice the three unforgivable curses on the muggles." My eyes widened at the thought of Regulus killing someone. But even as I tried to tell myself maybe he didn't I know from the look of regret as he spoke that he did.

"He took the muggles out of the cell and stood one of them in front of every new member. The little boy stood in front of me. I couldn't believe that he would make me torture this little boy in front of everyone that couldn't have been any older than eight years old. It was the hardest thing to look him in the eye as he stood before me. I instantly thought of you."

"Me?" I questioned. He nodded.

"His eyes were almost the exact same color as yours. I couldn't get what you said to me out of my head. I was the last one to go. The little boy had to watch as the others around him were tortured and killed. I almost wished that he would have let me go first just so he wouldn't have know what was coming. Throughout the whole thing I kept my hand lightly on his back as a way of comfort. No one saw me do this, because I except I would have been punished." I smiled softly at the thought of Reggie with his hand on the back of the little boy. "It was then my turn and I was called into the very center. The boy stood to face me and I tried to apologize with my eyes hoping he caught it. I was terrified. I've only done the cruciatus curse once, and that was on you. Sorry." He added.

"None taken."

"And that was only a day before, and I only did it as a façade to try and prove to you I wanted to be a death eater. But I knew that I never wanted to use that curse again. First I started with the imperious curse making him do silly things like tap dancing and singing, spinning in circles. He stopped me and ordered me to torture him. I did as I was told hestantitly. At first he screamed loudly but then after a few seconds he did nothing. I knew that he was still conscious and I admired his bravery. This little boy was being tortured and he wasn't even screaming. Slowly the little boy got to his feet after I took the spell off of him. He was shaking from head to toe and didn't look away from my eyes not once. I struggled to get the words I had to say from my mouth. I looked at Voldemort and saw him staring at me coldly. When I turned back to the little boy he was silently pleading me with his eyes to do it. I then obliged and said the words killing the little boy in front of me. His eyes still open and a begging look across his face." My breathing was uneasy as he finished the story and I was trying not cry, as I pictured what he told me. That little boy. Regulus.

I turned to look at him and saw a look of pure self disgust at what he did. "His face has been haunting my dreams since." I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him tightly. Hesitantly he hugged me back just as tight.

"I'm sorry you had to do that. But it will get better. One day you can just be yourself. I'll help you if it's the last thing I do Regulus. Do you hear me?" he nodded sadly. I pulled away and said "You are very brave Regulus." He opened his mouth to protest but I stopped him. "You are. Regulus listen to me, you are going against Voldemort himself, spying for the order."

"It's what I have to do."

"I think the same thing." He closed his eyes before changing the subject.

"Was your home life as bad as my brothers?" I swallowed loudly.

"Somewhat." I admitted.

"Tell me about it." He asked curiously.

"Well after, I was sorted into Gryffindor naturally they were pissed. I didn't know just how into the purity of blood they were until I got home for the holiday. The first thing my father did was throw me down a flight of stairs. And let me tell you my stairs are not small, and they are not carpeted." He visibly cringed. "I was moved into the attic where the only Aunt, Maria's mom that didn't hate me gave me money to fix it up. I was the new family house elf. I worked with them preparing dinner and cleaning up the house. Of course getting beaten every few hours. About two weeks before school last year, Your brother and my mates came over unexpectedly and Mother was pissed. She was rude and ignorant making smart ass comments. My sister than walked and announced that my mother found me someone to marry. I immediately protested saying that since she ignored me I should have just be ignored all the way. I told the boys to go upstairs and I stayed down there fighting with her about how I refused to marry some snotty pureblood. My father came in and told me I had no say in the matter and used some dark arts curse to cut open my cheek from the side of my nose to my ear right underneath my eye. I ran upstairs trying to hide the blood from them but they saw it and when I fainted, your brother brought me to James' house where his mother healed it."

"Your parents did know the dark arts then?" He asked slowly.

"I except your dear old mum and dad taught them." I said grinning. He rolled his eyes and muttered probably. "Well I knew I was in trouble when I got back. They were all waiting in my room for me. My father tied me to my bed and told me I wasn't to get up unless he untied me to clean and such. They starved me for two weeks, I was planning my ecaspe the whole time seeing as they told me I wasn't allowed to attend Hogwarts anymore. My parents aren't too bright seeing as they didn't exactly hide my wand very well. September first I had all my bags packed and ready but I was caught before I left. He used the cruciatus curse on me, but I fought back and stunned them all before flying off to Kings Cross. I fell extremely sick and your brother had to carry me to the hospital wing. They were quite pissed I kept the whole pureblood parent thing away from them and that I didn't ask them for help but they got over it." I looked up at his thoughtful expression. "Well, that's pretty much it."

"Pretty much it? Seems pretty eventful." I just smiled at him. "I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Well, everything happens for a reason I guess." He just shrugged. A loud crack interrupted our conversation. Dumbledore, his blue eyes piercing was striding over tiredly to sit behind his desk.

"Are you okay sir?" I asked him. He nodded.

"Yes, dear I'm fine thank you."

"How many deaths." Was the first thing Regulus asked.

"4." He said, his eyes locked on Reggie's. I looked at his face and saw complete grief. "2 adults, and 2 children."

"That's sick." I said my voice filling with anger. "That is completely and utterly disgusting. Damn Voldemort!" I said loudly.

"Xeomara." Reggie said placing a calming hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes working on controlling my anger before I spoke again.

"Did you capture any death eaters?" He shook his head.

"So it was for nothing then?" I asked sullenly.

"Nothing?" he questioned. "Nothing? Of course it meant something. Are you aware of how many innocent lives were spared?" I looked up and met his eyes. I nodded. I opened my mouth but stopped when a yawn came out. "I see, it's off to be with both of you." We both stood up. "Thank you Regulus. I'll see you both soon." With that we swept from the room, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"See you later." He told me, giving me a hug.

"I except nothing less." My trip back to the common room was slow placed. I was trying to process all the information that I learned tonight, but my thoughts kept going back to that little boy. My heart clenched painfully everytime I thought of his bright blue eyes and the way he didn't scream as the torture curse hit him. I was interrupted out of my thought as a person sitting on the couch nearly gave me a heart attack.

"What took you so long?" He asked. Not at all in a possessive tone, just merely curious. What could I tell him? I thought back to every lie and thought it through before telling him, then the perfect one hit me.

"Seeing as I can't see my sister often, she's going to come and visit me in Dumbledore's office. It's the perfect way to get to know her again. She said she is going to be coming around quite a lot and I'm actually kind of excited." I lied expertly. He stood up quickly and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me softly on the tip of my nose.

"I'm happy for you love. Now let's to bed." With that he swooped me off my feet and carried me all the way up to the dorm.


	23. My Family

I own nothing but Xeomara.

Chapter twenty three- My Family.

Over the next few months my time was spent between the two black brothers. Of course Sirius didn't know about the time I spent with his brother. Regulus and I have gotten extremely close hanging out every free moment we had. He was more confident now about what he was doing. He accepted the fact that he was saving lives and no longer had the guilty feeling. I was also happy to know the little boy stopped haunting his dreams. We talked about everything from school, too much deeper topics. I even told him about Remus and us being animagi. I felt guilty about telling him but I had to give him a reason why once out of every month we couldn't meet.

We usually met at night time when Sirius fell asleep. I'd sneak out of the dorms and go to the room of requirement where we always had the same room. The walls were my favorite color, midnight blue and the ceiling was made of pure glass so the stars were visible and there was a large door leading out a balcony.

One night late in December I snuck out of the boys' dorm, after getting the signal from Reggie. I walked quickly and quietly to the room and found Regulus already there, Sitting outside on the balcony in the pouring rain.

"Reggie?" I called out. He turned around and motioned for me to join him. I knew what had happened without needing it confirmed he was always like this afterwards. Quiet, sad, and there was nothing I could do for him. I sat next to him, not caring in the slightest as the rain plastered my hair to my face and soaked my clothes.

"I killed a pregnant woman tonight." He said regretfully. I sighed and grabbed his hand tightly in mine; he didn't hesitate to squeeze it back. I forced him to meet my eyes. He grey eyes that now had a new shine to them were hard and pained, his black hair sticking to his forehead, his face a sickly pale color.

"How long have you been out here?" I asked ignoring what he just told me.

"Since I've been back. So about two hours then."

"You're going to get sick." I pointed out, but made no move to go inside. He just shrugged.

"Is there really a point to any of this?" He asked.

"We've been over this! You get like this every time after you get home. You do what you have to do! If you didn't do it, then you'd get killed and after all this hard work I've done for _you_ it would be all for nothing. And for the simple fact that I refuse to lose you to Voldemort!"

"And if I died?" My blue eyes flashed coldly.

"Shut your mouth Regulus. You're not dying on me."

"I have something that we should tell Dumbledore, something I figured out tonight. I've been thinking about it for awhile but now tonight I'm sure it has to be true. I wanted to tell you what it was before we went to him."

My eyes softened. "What is it?"

"I think Voldemort made horcruxes."

"A What exactly?"

"A Horcrux is the word for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul. They split their soul and hide part of it outside of the body, then even if their body is attacked or destroyed they can't die because one part of their soul still remains."

"H-how do you do that?" I asked him feeling stupid for never hearing of such a thing before.

"By killing I suppose. I'm not entirely sure." I shuddered at the thought

We had just finished telling Dumbledore about Reg's theory.

"You believe Voldemort split his soul? Impossible."

"You really think it impossible sir?" He asked.

"Well, I don't understand where you would get this idea from." Regulus sighed deeply.

"Voldemort came to me, as asked me for an elf."

"An elf?" I asked having not heard this part.

"Kreacher. My family house elf." I frowned remembering the miserable elf that had always used its magic on Sirius when ordered to by Walburga.

"He said he had a job for him to do. So I sent my elf with him without a second thought with every intention of ordering Kreacher to tell me where he took him. When he returned he was shaking and wet. He told me about this little cave, near an orphange where you told me Voldemort was raised. And he used a small boat to take him across the lake to the other side. Where there was a basin full of potion. He ordered Kreacher to drink it, he told me he saw horrible things. After the basin was empty he put a locket at the bottom and filled it back up. The lake is filled with inferi."

"And you think that was a horcrux?" Dumbledore asked unsure.

"Yes, I listen to him when he talks sir. All these little hints and riddle's about living for ever, and being immortal it all makes sense! I don't know how many he has but I'm sure it's not just one."

"Regulus, you're talking about very dark, very advanced magic. Do you really think he did this?" I was confused as to why Dumbledore didn't believe him. I wouldn't put it past Voldemort to do this. I mean, he is the evilest, darkest wizard around.

"Sir, I'm sure and I want to go the cave."

"NO!" Burst through my lips before I knew what I was doing. Both the headmaster and Reg stared at me shocked by my outburst.

"What did I tell you Regulus? I told you that you are not to go off and do anything to get you killed. It's dangerous. What if something went wrong? We've worked so hard, saved so many lives with your help. We need you. I need you."

"Mr. Black I forbid you to leave this school and go to the lake. Do you understand me. Take this thoughts about the horcruxes and forget about them." Regulus looked ready to protest again but then nodded in agreement.

He bid us good bye and we walked out of his office still dripping wet from the rain.

"Do you believe me?" He said his eyes boring into mine.

"Of course I do. But Regulus wait, don't go by yourself. Wait until I can go with you. Or Dumbledore wait until we can convince him and we can all go, okay?"

"Fine." He looked at me and then smiled in amazement. "I've told you once and I'll say it again my brother is so lucky to have someone like you."

"Thank you, but I'm nothing special I'm just doing what I believe in. What about you Regulus, isn't there someone you like." If I blinked I would have missed it but Reg blushed slightly. At sight I never thought I would see. "Who is she?" I asked him smiling.

"Aubrey Williams, a Ravenclaw she's in my year."

"Go on."

"We were assigned Potions partners this year, but after the potion was done we still met to study in the library. My friends never go in there so it's easy to get away with seeing her. Her friends think she hates me, and vice versa but in reality we're friends. She's a great girl, beautiful, smart."

"You love her." I told him simply.

"What?" he spluttered out. "I do not there is no way. I couldn't love her. We're to different, I'm a death eater and she's an angel." I raised my eye brow at him.

"You love her." I told him again. "Does she like you?" He looked down at the floor.

"I'm sure she doesn't. She would never fall for someone like me."

"Hey!" I protested. "Why wouldn't she? Your smart, funny, brave. She would be crazy not to. When is you're next study date?"

"Tomorrow night actually. We're studying for potions."

"I'm coming!" I said happily.

"Wouldn't that defeat the purpose if you're there? She knows you date my brother who hates me." I rolled my eyes.

"Oh Reggie dear, how little you know me." Even though I knew he knew me quite well I always called him my little brother. "I have my ways. I'm simply helping you study for your exam. I'm quite brilliant at potions you know.

"You're brilliant at everything." He muttered under his breath.

"I heard that you know. But that's beside the point, I'm coming. Just tell her you can talk freely in front of me."

"But I-"

"Oh come on, please?" I begged.

He sighed and gave in, "Oh alright."

"Yes!" I said and gave him a tight hug. "See you tomorrow!" I said brightly skipping down the corridor.

I walked into the boys dorm quietly trying not to wake anyone up. I started taking off my wet clothes and going through Sirius' clothes trying to find something to wear to bed.

"Where were you?" He voice made me jump in shock. I turned around my hand gripping my heart tightly.

"Sirius." I whispered. "You scared me."

"Sorry." He said sounding not at all sorry. He's been this way lately. Every time I leave he thinks I'm up to something which I am. But he is getting way to curious, especially for the fact that I bring the map with me every time I go so he can't search for me.

"My sister was there." I told him.

"Well then why are your clothes wet?" Shit.

"I had to meet her by the gate, it's raining you know." I closed my eyes, and breathed in.

"Oh." That was all he said. I hurriedly got dressed and layed down next to him. I grabbed his hand in mine. I knew he wouldn't be mad at me long. With a heavy sigh he leaned over me and kissed me.

"Good night."

"Good night." I said back feeling nothing but extreme guilt. But this was all for him, I had to remind myself. Him and Regulus could be brothers again. He'd get his real brother back. It was all for something.

The next day I met Regulus outside the library having to lie to Sirius again. I walked up to him and he gave me a swift kiss on the cheek.

"Hey sis." He told me. I ruffled his hair.

"Little Brother." I greeted back. He laughed a little. He walked into the library me following behind. We walked all the way to the back table in the very far end away from sight. There was a slightly tall girl sitting in the chair. She was beautiful, her dirty blonde hair fell just to her shoulders framing her face, she had violet colored eyes, and tan skin. She had a slender figure, but was curvy in the right places.

"She's gorgeous Reg." I whispered to him as we walked closer. He just nodded.

"Hey Reg! I-" She cut off when she saw me, her eyes widened. I looked to him and saw him mouth the words "It's okay." To her. She didn't question it.

He then said louder, "Hello Aubrey." She smiled at him and blushed slightly. I smirked in Reggie's direction and he shrugged slightly.

"Hello I'm-" She cut me off.

"Xeomara, I know. The only girl marauder. Girlfriend of the infamous Sirius Black." I laughed out loud. She looked curiously at me.

"Yes, that's me. But I am also brilliant at Potions which brings me here today as a favor to Slughorn to help you to study."

"Oh." She told me looking curiously at Reg. He nodded in response and she calmed down slightly.

"You have cousins in Ravenclaw right?" I stiffened.

"No, they're not my family." I felt Reg hand on my knee under the table and he gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Oh, that's right I'm sorry. I forgot about well you know." I gave her a smile back.

"It's alright. Anyway let's get on with this." The rest of the time was spent with me studying them. I didn't miss the looks that they gave each other or the way she looked at him with admiration in her large eyes. She definitely loves him.

I told him so when we were walking away from the library that night the corridors empty.

"There is no way."

"Trust me. Why would I ever lie to you?" He nodded.

"You wouldn't. It's just so hard to believe. Actually it's something I never thought I'd feel. Love. It's amazing isn't it?" He asked smiling.

"It sure is." I said thinking of his brother. "Once this whole thing is over, you'll be able to get married, have kids. You're kids would be quite adorable don't you think?" He blushed crimson. "Is that a blush I see?" I said teasingly.

"Oh sod off. I suspect I'll have a niece or nephew sometime after you graduate yeah?"

"I don't know. We never actually talked about what we'd do after school, you'll just have to wait and see." He smiled in response.

"Well I should get going, we have to get up early for the train tomorrow. Take care of yourself during the break okay? Write to me often, and don't do anything reckless understood?" I asked him.

"I will. You write to me to okay? And I hope you have an okay Christmas. I know it will be you, James, and Sirius' first one with the Potter's." I nodded sadly.

"You'll be okay." He told me.

"I hope so."

"Me too." I gave him a kiss on the cheek before making my way back to the tower.

I walked into the Potter manor after the long ride home. I could almost here, Jane and James bustling around welcoming us home with hugs, and food. But all there was, was silence. I squeeze James and Sirius' hands as we stood in the door way.

"I miss them." James said his eyes filling with tears. I closed my eyes as a tear found its way down my cheek.

"I do too Jimmy." He squeezed my hand tighter. "Well let's get unpack and see if I can make us something for dinner okay?" Both boys nodded as we headed up to our room. As I walked by the living room, my mind was filled with the memories. Jane and James laughing as we told them about our pranks, last year, Christmas morning, when we learned about the order, first day of summer vacation, and the last one was the horrible memory I would never forget. The green lights that bounced off the walls as they fell to floor. I visibly cringed and shook my head trying to clear my head of my thoughts. I entered my bedroom, admiring the midnight blue walls, and the large windows against the back wall. Remembering how Jane decorated it for me and how James had told me even when I became of age that I was the daughter they never had so I had to stay there. Even though my account at gringotts was bursting with gold. I put my trunk on the floor and collapsed on my bed curling up into a tight ball. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to control my emotions as they were going out of whack. So many things were happening right now. I couldn't help but think that I might be a little bit over my head. I felt the bed sink down on both sides of me. I rolled over on back and opened my eyes. Both James and Sirius were laying down next to me, sad smiles on their faces. They didn't speak, or say anything, just grabbed my hands where we laid there for what could have been hour until it got dark. All of us lost in our different thoughts. Slowly I sat up.

"I think I'll go make some dinner. Did you ask Remus and Peter if they were coming over after Christmas day?" I asked the boys.

"Actually they told me they were coming over Christmas." James told me. "They wanted to have Christmas dinner with us. We invited Luna over too." I smiled brightly.

"Good, Now I know how much food I need to buy. I'll have to go after I make dinner tonight. Boys, go and set up the Christmas tree alright?" They nodded.

"Wow, I feel like a mother." I said laughing and shaking my head.

"You'd make a great mother Maurie." James said laughing loudly.

"Oh be quiet you." I told him, I walked down the stairs and began preparing dinner. I set the table as I was waiting for the food to finish, leaving James and Jane spot empty. I sighed as I walked by their seats. I opened the swinging door quietly so James and Sirius wouldn't see. They were laughing and throwing tinsel at each other as they decorated the tree. I hurriedly grabbed the camera I knew was in the cabinet. I opened the door again and took pictures of them, smiling to myself. I walked up behind them and pointed my wand at them making ribbons fly at them. I laughed loudly brining the attention to me.

"Why you!" Sirius yelled tackling me to the floor. James then joined and we wrestled around throwing tinsel and ribbons at each other. I heard a loud beep from the other room and ran to go get dinner.

"Wash your hands before you eat!" I yelled to them from the kitchen. "It's ready!"

"Yes Mum." I heard them both yell back. I shook my head, and rolled my eyes. I put the food on the table and started dishing out food on the three plates.

"You know," I heard from the door way. "I think we're old enough to put food on our own plates don't you think Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"Oh shut it Padfoot!" I yelled.

"But stripes I was simply telling the truth." For what seemed like the hundredth time that night I rolled my eyes. Being away from the school seemed to kill Sirius' suspicion in where I go. We ate dinner silently; the three of us secretly glances at the two places that weren't set.

The rest of the night was pretty quiet, after I got food for tomorrow night, neither James or Sirius went to their own room but came in mine instead after they got in their pajamas. The three of us laid down, I heard their snores fill the room but I couldn't sleep. But I had nothing to do to keep me busy. The house was clean, the food was bought, the presents were wrapped. I untangled myself from Sirius and James and without grabbing my cloak walked outside to the lake. I shivered slightly as the crisp December air hit me, but none the less kept walking on. I sat on the chairs, where me and Jane sat last summer where she asked if Her and James could give me away at my wedding. I was lost in my thoughts again when I felt something nipping at my fingers. I looked down and saw a small black owl that I knew belonged to Regulus. It was carrying a small package with a letter tied to it. I opened first the letter.

_Dear Sister,_

_Merry early Christmas. I sent this at night, rather than tomorrow when I know my brother won't see or question it. I hope you like it, it was a little something for you to remember me by, trust me you'll understand it when you open because I knew you probably will read this letter first. Don't make that face I know you're making right now because no it's not obvious no one will know what it means but you seeing as I never shown any one else before I pretend I can't do it. _

I laughed softly because I was indeed making a face.

_I hope you're doing okay at the Potter's. I imagine it's really hard for you. If not right now, it will be tomorrow. I'm here to talk if you need me. Home is pretty tough right now, my parent are tougher than ever with all this pureblood stuff. Your parents actually were there when I got off the train. They questioned me about you for at least a good twenty minutes. I told them that I didn't know anything, though they know you're dating my brother. I'm assuming from Bella, or Maria. The next meeting isn't scheduled until we get back, he didn't plan anything for Christmas that I know off. I'm hoping he doesn't because it will be a little hard for you to get away with about being suspicious._

_Well on a lighter note, have a good new year. Write me often so I don't die of boredom, and I hope you like my gift. And you better send me one! Oh before I forget to tell you, me and Aubrey decided to exchange gifts. I bought her a locket. I hope she likes it. Til next time._

_Love always,_

_Reggie._

I smiled at his letter. I set it down next to me, and opened the small package. I opened the little red box and saw a beautiful white gold charm in crested with a thousand tiny little diamonds in the shape of an eagle. I laughed out loud now understanding what Reg meant. An eagle was his patronus which would definitely remind me of him. Oh clever of him. I immediately hooked in on my charm bracelet Lily got me last Christmas and smiled at it. Feeling a little better I walked inside and slid back into bed in between James and Sirius. Remembering to make sure I write to Reggie tomorrow.

"Zee."

"Zee!"

"ZEE!"

I jumped up quickly rubbing my eyes. "Bloody Hell!" I yelled loudly. I opened my eyes seeing James and Sirius staring at me with huge grins on their faces.

"Happy Christmas!" They chorused both placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Yeah, yeah Happy Christmas." But still I was smiling. "Let's go downstairs." They both agreed happily. I made them a quick breakfast and when we walked out into the living room the mood suddenly changed to one of sadness. We sat down on the floor where our presents were usually stacked. I sneaked a glance to where Jane and James would usually sit, but the spot was empty. I looked over and saw that both James and Sirius were looking at that spot. My eyes started to burn with tears, and I felt someone glaze on burning onto my face. I opened my eyes and met James'. The second I did he burst into tears, as mine fell faster down my cheeks. Sirius who at the sound of James cry looked towards him and pulled him into a brotherly hug immediately succumbing to tears. I got up and wrapped my arms around both of them.

"We're supposed to be happy it's Christmas!" I told them. They both gave a watery chuckle.

"I know, I know." James said.

"Yeah, they would want us to be happy." I smiled through my tears. "Let's open our presents now." Sirius said.

I opened first the present that Peter sent me, it was another charm for my charm bracelet, it was small rat with diamonds. I smiled as I opened Remus gift, it was there was three packages.. First was another charm, it was a small square photograph with a picture of Sirius, Remus, Peter, James, and I after first year, I attached both the charms. The next thing in there was a bag of my favorite candy. The last though was my favorite, a small white kitten with electric blue eyes.

"Awwww!" I cooed as I picked up the tiny kitten in my arms petting it's soft skin. "Isn't she cute?" I asked the boys.

"Yeah, her eyes look like yours." James told me. Reaching a hand out to pet her softly on the head.

"What are you going to name her?" Sirius asked me. I looked at my little kitten, well not snowball that's to cliché. She was tiny even for being a kitten, and she was mine. She was my little baby. That's it. It's simple.

"Baby." Sirius laughed.

"Why did I have a feeling you were going to name her that?" I just shrugged.

I opened the second to last box. It said from James and Sirius. It was in a black satin box. When I opened it I gasped. Laying inside was a white gold necklace with a tiger charm. The tiger was obviously made of diamonds. It was gorgeous, and it must have been extremely expensive.

"Guys, this is way too much." I told them.

"Oh shut up." Sirius said as he took the box from my hand and put the clasped the necklace around my neck. My hand automatically went up to the tiger. James smiled at me.

"Thank you so much."

"Really it's nothing." I shook it off.

"No, not just for the necklace but for everything. I don't think there is any way for me to thank you for all you both have done for me. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am that I have you two. I say it jokingly all time but I want you to know I really mean it. I love you both so much. Without you two I just- I just would be lost. Sure it sounds cliché but I really mean it." I told them earnestly. James met my eyes and I could everything I felt towards him come back to me.

"I love you too Maurie." James told me, and I could feel that he meant it. "You've done so much for me too you know. So you don't owe me thanks. That's what friends are for, that's what brother and sister do." I smiled at him.

"You already know how much I love you. I tell you daily." Sirius told me lightening up the mood. "But without you and Prongs honestly, I would still be at number 12 grimmauld place." We both smiled at him.

I ran upstairs wanting to right and send Reg his Christmas present before Sirius and James came back from they're snowball fight. I sat down at my desk,

_Dear Little Brother,_

_That gift was very clever of you! It was wonderful and I loved it. And I loved how you knew exactly what face I was making when I read the letter. You really do know a lot about me. I'm glad we finally got to meet properly even under this horrible circumstances but without them we wouldn't even be this close. This morning was pretty hard while opening Christmas. James, your brother and I cried before we even opened presents. I know you it would probably make you uncomfortable to know that Sirius thinks of James and Jane as his parents. He is really quite shaken about their death. Well I hope your Christmas was okay. Screw my damn parents. I bet they were just bursting with pride about Jessica's wedding I heard all about it. Disgusting is what it is. And I'm glad he didn't have a meeting either. It would have been interesting to see how I would escape from the watchful eyes of my mates. Oh and I'm sure Aubrey will love what you got her. She's such a sweet girl. Make sure you tell me what she sent you. Well I hope you like my Christmas present. I have to go make dinner. Remus, and his mother and Peter are coming over for dinner so I have to go cook. See you soon._

_With love,_

_Zee_

I attached the box with a white gold watch, though it wasn't a normal watch. It was hooked up with my mirror. So whenever I needed to talk to him the watch would grow warm and my face would appear in the glass. It also had built in dark detectors. I quickly wrote a list of directions for it, I then attached it to the second present I bought him. It was a small pensieve. If anyone need one it was him. I put a charm on the box to shrink it and lighten it before sending it away. I hurriedly started bustling around in the kitchen making dinner and setting the table with the good china. When dinner was almost done I ordered Sirius and James who already took their showers and was dressed to watch the dinner to make sure it didn't burn while I went to take and shower and get dressed.

The water was warm and comforting, and I stayed in there a little longer than I should have. I wand dried my hair, and instead of leaving it down in my usual curls I clipped it back into a little twist, I applied light make up as always, and got dressed in a black sweater and dark jeans.

On my walk down stairs I heard a knock at the door. I bounced down the stairs and opened it. Remus, Luna , and Peter stood there.

"Oh Xeomara dear! How are you?" Luna said pulling me into a tight hug.

"Hello Luna! It's so good to see you. It's been awhile."

"Yes it has." She said then seeing James and Sirius pulled them both into a hug, while I turned towards Remus.

"Hey Moony." I said hugging him tightly. He kissed my cheek.

"How are you? You guys holding up okay?"

"We've been better." I said pulling away.

"Wormy!" I said hugging and kissing his cheek.

"Stripes! You okay?"

"I'm alright."

I left them to talk while I finished putting the dinner on the table. Once it was done we all sat down leaving James and Jane's spot empty again. Dinner was good, it was nice to be surrounded by them. But I kept thinking about the two people we were missing. After dinner Luna left but Peter and Remus stayed. We sat up late into the night talking something we haven't got the chance to do it quite awhile. I haven't realized how much I missed this. How easy it was just to be with them. My family.


	24. The Break up

I own nothing but Xeomara.

Chapter twenty four- The Breakup.

The rest of the holiday was quiet and relaxing. New Years day, and my birthday were a little sad. Even though I hated getting dressed up for the New Year's party every year now that we don't have it I sure do miss it. Remus and Peter stayed with us the whole break, and Lily came over two days before we went back to Hogwarts with her trunk.

The night before we went back instead of Lily sleeping with James and me sleeping with Sirius, Lily and I slept in my room.

"You know, ever since we got boyfriends we never do seem to get enough alone time." Lily told me. I rolled over and faced her as she did the same.

"I know, now all we seem to do is hang out with them."

"I think James is it for me." I smiled remembering what Jane and I agreed on.

"I think you're it for him too." She smiled widely at me, and I watched as she glanced down to look at her ring finger but I didn't comment on it.

"I think you and Sirius are it for each other also." I searched her brilliant green eyes wondering if she really thought that. I knew I felt it but I didn't know if it obvious to most people, seeing as we never really showed any affection in public.

"I hope so."

Talking with Lily was great and I wanted nothing more than just to come clean about the whole Regulus situation but I knew I couldn't. I wondered to myself if there was ever going to be a time when I could tell them.

I opened my eyes as I felt a jet of water hit my face. I sat up angrily wiping it off. I opened my eyes and saw a laughing Lily.

"Lily!" I snarled. "Run." She looked at me and burst out laughing before she ran out the door. I hopped up and grabbed my wand chasing after her. I pushed a stunned Remus out of the way. And I shook off Sirius as him and James were asking what was going on. I followed her all the way out back, where I then proceed to use my wand to drop a huge pile of snow on her head. She screamed loudly as it hit her. The scream fully woke me up and it was then that I realized I was standing outside with no socks on, in a cotton tank top and cotton shorts. My teeth started chattering.

"Truce?" Lily asked me holding out her hand. I shook it.

"Truce. Now let's get inside I'm freezing!" She laughed loudly and connected her arm with mine as we walked inside. Lily and I began to make coffee and breakfast and set the table for the boys. The kitchen door swung out, and Sirius walked in.

"What the bloody hell were you two doing?" Lily and I looked at each other and burst out laughing while we told him what happened.

"Prongs does that to me every day and I don't chase him around and dump snow on his head." He told me before kissing me.

"No you just stun me, or hang me upside down. I think I'd prefer the chasing and snow." James said walking in. We all started laughing.

"Well I'm just not a morning person!" Sirius protested.

"Me either love, me either." I said before kissing him again.

Remus and Peter walked in a few minutes later, and we all sat down and had a full English breakfast. Since Lily, James, and Sirius and I were sharing the bathroom it took a little longer to get ready than usual. Seeing as Sirius and James both take longer showers than me and Lily put together. Finally with only five minutes to spear we made it to platform 9¾. Hurriedly we rushed to our compartment in the back. Sirius James, Lily and I on one side, Peter and Remus on the other. We were in the compartment for only about five minutes before Malfoy and Snape walked in.

"Merlin are we making this a tradition?" I snorted loudly as Sirius said this.

"Hello Blood traitors, oh and how could I forget," Snape said turning towards Lily "Mudblood." My blue eyes flashed dangerously, as my hand gripped my wand tightly.

"Hello Snivellus." Lily said coldy. I looked to James and Sirius, and they were both wearing the same surprise on their faces as I was. Remus coughed out a laugh while Peter just sniggered. Snape and Malfoy however were not amused.

"You sound just like Potter and his little friends." Malfoy told her.

"Oh how silly of me to forget. I didn't greet you Malfoy." She said smiling sweetly. "Hello you slimy haired git." This time I didn't bother hiding my laughter nor did anyone else.

"Well said Lily Flower." I said cracking up. "Though I would have added in the words greasy and sleazy, but it's your choice." She just laughed. I turned my attention to the two Slytherins. "What would two slytherins like yourselves be doing in Marauder territory? Bad things happen to those who enter it."

"Oh we just wanted to tell you about the lovely time we had at your house on New Years Raes." Malfoy said speaking up.

"I didn't know they let half-bloods in. I thought the Raes' detested anyone with muggle heritage?" Lily asked. My eyes widened. Lily's eyes were on snape glaring a whole through his head.

"Who's half-blood? Surely not me." He said shooting Snape a look.

"No one is." Snape told him, looking strangely nervous. "Let's get out of here." They turned around and began walking out. I shot Lily a questioning look, she mouthed "later" to me.

"Going so soon?" Sirius called out during our exchange. Snape turned around to with his wand out. I heard Lily sigh loudly.

"Stupefy!" she said lazily as Snape fell to the floor.

"Why you little!" Malfoy said pointing his wand at Lily. I heard another cry of stupefy and Malfoy fell to the floor. I turned around and saw that it was Remus with his wand pointed at Malfoy.

"Nice one! Moony, Flower!" I told them appreciatively.

"Thanks Zee." Lily said. "Ah that felt good." James smiled and kissed her. I looked towards Sirius like I normally did and rolled my eyes.

"Why thank you Miss Stripes, I think the stunning spell looked quite lovely." Remus told me.

"It sure did, Mr. Moony!" I said back.

The rest of the journey was uneventful and I spent most of it asleep. Arriving at the castle was brilliant I couldn't get away from home any faster. When I walked into the entrance to the Great Hall my eyes immediately sought out Regulus at the slytherin table. I found him in the middle of the table with the other six years. He was sitting in between his cousin and mine (who I guess couldn't be bothered to sit with her own house that she was supposedly so proud of). Almost as if he felt my glaze on him, he looked up and met my eyes. I smiled at him and he smiled back quickly, so quickly that if you blinked you would have missed it. Sirius however did not.

"Why did Regulus smile at you?" He asked curiously. I turned myself away from the table to Sirius as we walked to our seats.

"What are you talking about?"

"He just smiled at you." He told me.

"No he didn't, all I saw was that damn smirk he always wears. You probably just imagined it." He looked at me incredulously.

"I know what I saw." I rolled my eyes.

"You obviously need to get your eyes checked." He just glared at me but none the less dropped it. I was going to ask James what Sirius' problem was but was interrupted when Dumbledore spoke.

"Hello everyone! And welcome back to Hogwarts. I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. I know the student here did, why just the other day I heard this lovely joke about a-" He was cut off by a "hem hem" made by McGonagall. "Ah right, not the time. Yes, well I am sorry to say that over the break there was a large attack on a surrounding village of Hogwarts. Many of your fellow students lost parents and relative. Let us all have a moment of silence for those lost." My head shot towards Regulus. I glared a hole in his head for not telling me. He again felt my glaze. "Later!" I mouthed angrily. He nodded by using his eyes.

"How long do you think this war will last?" Lily asked in a hushed whisper.

"Well, it could really go either way right now, though no one is really winning." Remus told her. I looked at all my friends before saying quietly.

"The war is far from over."

"How do you know?" Peter piped up. James eyes and mine met. Reading through the sureness of my thoughts he nodded quickly before saying,

"She's right. It is far from over."

After dinner with everyone now extremely full we slowly made our way up to the common room. I sat down on the couch next to Sirius. I noticed he was definitely acting weird towards me as if he figured something out.

"What's up?" I asked him. He just shrugged in response. When I took his hand in mine he didn't hold it back he just kept it there. Alarmed I looked up into James hazel eyes. They didn't reassure me like they usually did because I could tell he thought something was wrong too. Calm down, he was telling me. But I was far beyond being calm.

"Hey, Hey!" James said. I shook my head and looked at him again. I could feel our friends glazes on our faces wondering what the hell was going on. "Breathe Maurie." I shook my head again. "Don't worry, I'm sure it's nothing."

"What on earth are you guys going on about?" Remus asked us.

"Nothing." We muttered at the same time. He just tweaked an eye brow.

"You know they always do that, those stupid silent conversations." Sirius said. I ripped my hand away from his limp one.

"What is your problem?!"

"I don't know why don't you figure it out."

"No, how about you tell me seeing as I have no clue!" I yelled.

"You obviously know, don't play stupid now!"

"I don't know!"

"Well than maybe you are stupid!" My eyes widened.

"Hey now, Sirius. Don't call her stupid. And if you're mad at something else you better stop taking it out on Zee." James yelled.

"Of course you'd take her side." Sirius muttered before getting up and walking away. Not caring that we were in the common room I stood up and pointed at him.

"Don't you walk away from me Sirius Black!" I screamed. "We are not finished!" He just kept walking. "Sirius!" When he didn't come back, I sighed loudly.

"I'm leaving!" I said before walking out of the portrait and slamming it shut. I walked aimlessly around the corridors until I ran into someone. The force of it knocked me off my feet cursing loudly in French.

"Such a filthy mouth you have there." Someone said in a mockingly Recognizing the voice I looked up into Regulus' shining grey eyes, that were beginning to look more and more like Sirius' each day. He offered me and hand and helped me off. I began furiously wiping the dirt of my robes.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked me sounding concerned.

"I just argued with your brother." I said my voice filling with anger.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know, he's been acting weird since we got back. He saw you smile at me I guess, and I guess my lie didn't convince him. When we were in the common room he wouldn't talk or hold my hand or anything. Then he called me stupid for not knowing what was wrong, then James yelled at him for calling me stupid and he just got up and walked away. Even when I told him to come back! Uh he is so infuriating. How the hell am I supposed to know what he's angry about!" I heard a loud noise from behind me. My head whipped around and there was Sirius staring at me with the coldest glare I have ever seen. I shuddered at it.

"I'm angry about this." He said in a voice so cold and detached that I would have never believed it was him.

"Sirius it's not what you-"

"I don't care if it's not what I think! I know what it looks like. Okay so you want to cheat on me fine. But why my brother?! Why not some random bloke?!" He thinks I cheated on him? How could he think of me that way?

"Really Sirius-" Regulus started.

"Be quiet Regulus."

"Sirius, how could you think I'd cheat on you? You know I wouldn't do that!" I said my voice raising in anger. "Is that really what you think of me? That I'd cheat on you? When I tell you I love you every day?"

"Well obviously that means nothing to you now does it? And I guess it means nothing to me either." My eyes widened.

"W-what are you saying?" I asked him, tears pricking the corner of my eyes.

"I'm saying were over." Then he walked away, not once looking back. I stood there for a few minutes just staring at the spot where he used to be standing, trying to process everything in my head. We were really over. The person that I thought was it for me, the very person that made me shove my views on love out the window, just walked out of my life because he thought I cheated on him. How ludicrous! I was doing this for him. For him, and he has the nerve to tell me I cheated on him!

"Zee?" Reg asked hesitantly.

"Yes?" I said without looking at him. I heard him sigh and his hands came down on my shoulders.

"This is all my fault, maybe we should just tell him. He'd understand, and then you two could get back together. If we just-"

"No, I worked too hard for this. We worked too hard for this. I'm not ruining it now. And besides if it was really meant to be it would have worked out. I guess we really just weren't right for each other."

"What? Don't be stupid! Of course you are! He loves you. I may not know him well now but he's still my brother I know his faces, I know how he thinks. I know how hurt he was right now even though he was covering it with anger. And I could tell how much he loves you. And you love him. If we just tell him, it will be fixed."

"Reg, just leave it alone. We are not telling him."

"But-"

"Reg please." I begged. I turned around to face him; the look on my face must have been horrible for he gave in a hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I said then added on, "Though you should be, but not about that. About the death eater attack! Why didn't you tell me?!"

He suddenly laughed. "I wasn't allowed to tell you. Dumbledore forbid me, because he said that you would try and leave James to go and fight and he didn't want you to get involved." I laughed with him.

"Yeah, sure does sound like him." I then pouted. "But I want to fight! I can't wait until I graduate. It's time for me to do something worthwhile."

"You are doing something worthwhile." He told me. "You are doing something very brave, only few people could do. You are going to play a big part in this war Zee. I can feel it." I looked at him, thinking about everything I've heard about the war. How could I play a big part in it? I only just turned eighteen. Though thinking back to everything I learned and heard I know that in my heart he was right. _I _would play a big part in this war. I just hope it will pay off in the end.

I went back in to the common room, hoping for it to be empty. I guess I didn't get my wish because James and Remus were waiting for me.

"What the hell, Zee?!" Remus yelled upon seeing me. James however looked into my eyes and so how I was feeling and knew immediately that I didn't cheat like Sirius thought I did though he was clueless as to why I was with Reg.

"Lay off Moony." James told him.

"Lay off? Lay off?" Remus asked shocked. "She was with Regulus! A death eater, someone who laughed when you're parents were murdered! He used the cruciatus curse on her! Yet she stills talking to him like old friends! Actually more than friends! They're together!" I interrupted then.

"WE ARE NOT TOGETHER! I yelled loudly. That stopped Remus' pacing and he looked up.

"Your, You're not?" I laughed loudly.

"Of course not!"

"Well then-"

"I can't tell you why, not right now anyway. But listen to me. I'm doing this for Sirius no matter how stupid you think this is. That's why I begging you to make sure Sirius doesn't tell anyone about our meeting and for you guys not to tell." I said pleading with my eyes.

James spoke for them, "Fine. But this better be a good reason."

"It is."

New that me and Sirius broke up spread like wild fire and already the girls were chasing after him, and the boys were chasing after me. I turned down boy after boy hoping that they'd get the hint. Even if Sirius didn't love me anymore, I sure as hell would keep loving him. I said he was it for me and I meant it. It's been two days since it happened. I talked to Reg about it some last night but he was act strangely. More strangely than usual I mean. I hardly even saw him all day, which is weird because usually I see him in the halls or in the library but the only time I saw him was at breakfast, and after that I haven't seen him. Ever since he told me about the horcruxes I've been keeping an eye out to make sure that he hasn't left the castle and such. I checked it a few times today and found him to still be in the castle but I had a really uneasy feeling. It was approaching 11:30 and I was still just walking around in the corridors trying to avoid the common room. I didn't want to talk to anyone, and I was tired of the boys hitting on me. I stopped when I saw Dumbledore walking quickly around the corner.

"Xeomara!" He said upon seeing me, "I was just looking for you! It's urgent!"

"What is it sir?" I asked him nervously. I already had a inking feeling of what it was.

"Regulus is missing. I went looking for him, and his 'friends' said he's been gone for over an hour and hasn't been back. Have you seen him?" I swallowed thickly.

"Sir, if you'll excuse me. I'll meet you in the entrance hall in 5 minutes I just need to check something first." I said sprinting at full speed to the common room.

"But Xeomara!"

"Sir, please!" I yelled back. Once I reached the common room I hurriedly gave the password and ran without stopping up the staircase to the boys' dorm. The place I avoided for two days. I slammed the door open and without speaking heading towards the spot where we always kept the map. I dug it out and quickly opened it muttering the words to bring the map on the parchment. I began searching for his name; I searched the whole map twice making sure I just didn't miss his name. All the while the boys kept questioning me but I didn't answer. I knew why he's been acting weird. He's gone. He went without me. Without Dumbledore. I told him not to. I gripped my wand tightly in my hand and began running for the door. I stopped when someone grabbed my shoulders to stop me.

"Xeomara!" James yelled.

"Just let me go James." I said breaking free and running again out the common room to the entrance where the headmaster was waiting for me.

"Well?" He asked when I reached him.

"He's gone sir!" I yelled. If I was listening carefully I would have heard him swear but I wasn't thinking.

"Gone?" He asked to make sure.

"Yes."

"Let's go." He said starting to walk towards the front gates.

"You're allowing me to come?" I asked.

"Of course, I think you've earned the right. Do you not want to come?"

"No of course I do, I love Regulus. If anything happens to him-"

"I'm hoping it will not. If we get there fast enough." He said cutting me off.

"Me to sir, me too."

When we reached the gate where we were allowed to apparate, he gripped my hand and I didn't protest. After the feeling of discomfort, I opened my eyes staring at the lake. Inferi was covering every inch of it. I turned my head when someone cleared their throat. In front of me was a tall, thin man, with dark black hair, and black eyes. If I looked closely I would see a tint of red and my mind jumped back to the time in Dumbledore's office when I was asking Regulus about Voldemort and he gave me that exact description that fits this man. Standing next to him was a house elf. Regulus and Sirius' house elf. It was then that I knew who the man was.

"Voldemort." I snarled.


	25. Life is Everything

I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter twenty five- Life is Everything.

"Oh hello, Miss. Raes! I'm so glad I do not need to introduce myself. And ah Professor Dumbledore! How lovely to see you!" Voldemort exclaimed in a mock pleasant voice.

"Hello Tom." Dumbledore said shortly.

"It seems Regulus had you well informed." He said his cold glare turning towards me. My eyes locked on his, and we both continued staring at each other. The connection broke when I heard a strangled cry. The house elf had dropped to his knees sobbing loudly into his hands.

"Master Regulus! Master Regulus!" He said again and again.

"Get up! You silly creature!" Voldemort yelled. "He is gone and you shall never see your dear Master Regulus again!" I gasped.

"You liar!" I screamed at him. My hand clasped my wand tightly.

"You dare call me, Lord Voldemort a liar? I do not lie you insolent little girl. Isn't this pathetic creature prove enough for you?" He said pointing down the kreacher rolling around on the ground wailing loudly. "That," He said pointing now to lake filled with the inferi. "Is what you get when you betray me! That silly little child, dying for something that wasn't even real." My eyes widened in shock. Regulus was in there? He couldn't be dead yet. He just couldn't be. And fighting for something not real? Then the horcruxes were there? "And such a brave little girl you are. Helping him, you were almost, almost successful. We could use you. I've heard of your powers since your birth and I want you. Join my side Xeomara."

I stared at him unable to move. But I was screaming NO! over and over again in my head. Regulus. Regulus! He can't be dead, it wasn't right. Not after all we've been through. I had to get him out. He couldn't stay in there. What did inferi hate? Fire, that's right fire. I raised my wand.

"Incendio maxima!" Large flames erupted out of my wand flying towards the lake. With a flick of his wand Voldemort stopped my flames in mid air. They hung between us like a curtain.

"Don't be silly, girl. He is dead. Nothing will bring him back now! Tell me, will you join me?"

"NO!" I screamed. He laughed.

"Fine, have it your way." With another flick of his wand my own flames began flying at me, I saw Dumbledore attempt to get to me faster. I had no hope of avoiding them, on reflex my hands raised and covered my face. The flames burning my hands, and robes covering my body in burns. My whole body was on fire, but I didn't scream. Dumbledore who knew the countercurse, said it loudly and suddenly the flames were gone.

"You're strong aren't you? That is why you will belong to me!"

"That's likely!" I yelled. I then sent another curse towards Voldemort, no sooner than I did I felt a cold hand gripping my burnt hand pulling me into nothingness.

Before I knew it I was back in Dumbledore's office in the corner where I knew you could apparate and disapparate from. What was he doing? We needed to get Regulus!

"Regulus was in there sir, we have to go back!"

"Xeomara." He said putting his cool hands on my shoulders. "He is gone, there is nothing you can do for him."

"NO!" I screamed. "No! He can't be. I love him! I love him! He can't be gone. Not after all this work, all this struggle. It was all for him! For Sirius!" I turned on the spot with every intention of returning to the cave beside the shore. When I hit a blank wall I looked at the headmaster who had just casted a anti-disappartion jinx.

"There is nothing you can do for him." He repeated.

"But we can't just leave him there!"

"You can and you must. I will not allow you to go back there. You need some rest why don't you-"

"No! I don't want any rest. I want Regulus!" I said break free of his grip and running out of his office. My feet seemed to know where I wanted to go because I was sprinting at full speed towards the Gryffindor Tower. I didn't stop until I reached the 7th year boys' dormitory. I flew open the door, not able to hold the tears back anymore I dropped to my knee, sobbing loudly.

"Zee?" Lily asked. At the same time James said "Maurie? What happened to you?!" I didn't answer I just continued crying. He's gone, He's gone. I thought. That was the only thing I thought. I couldn't process anything else. I just knew I wouldn't see him again. He was really gone.

"Who's gone Zee?" Lily asked. I looked up, ignoring her and sought Sirius' grey eyes. When I found them I said,

"Reggie."

"What? Regulus?" He asked his voice sounded choked.

"Y-yes."

"What happened?!" Remus asked. "Zee?"

"H-h-he g-g-one." I couldn't even finish a sentence. When James pointed his wand at me I cringed back. His eyes widened.

"Maurie? It's me James. I won't hurt you. I want to help you. Will you let me?" Breathing heavy I looked in his eyes and nodded. Instantly a calming sensation came over me and I felt myself able to stop crying.

"Sirius." He looked towards me.

"How?"

"Well, you were right in a way. We were meeting secretly. Just not in the way you think. We had been meeting since the first day back. You remember when he asked for me after we left Dumbledore's office and I broke his nose? Well he wanted to talk to me. So later that night he sent me a message and I met him outside near the forest."

"That was a little stupid." James muttered.

"He came to me, crying. Crying, Sirius. He told me about how much he hated Voldemort and how much he regretted becoming a death eater. He told me about all the horrible things he had to do. I didn't understand what he wanted me to do until he reminded that I told him I could help him."

"How do you know he wasn't lying?" Sirius asked rudely.

"We used Dumbledore's strongest truth serum. He then became a spy for Dumbledore. For our side. It was tough to do. He went to the meeting still and still had to do as Voldemort asked to hide his tracks, but he reported everything back to me and Dumbledore. We met up every month and well more because we got really close. Sirius, your brother was such a great person. I just wish you could have known who he was now." He cut me off.

"I don't care about that. Tell me how he died dammit!"

"One night before break he came up to Dumbledore and I with that idea that Voldemort had created a horcrux." When I saw Lily's questioning glaze I said, "A horcrux is very dark advanced magic. You hid a piece of your soul inside an object outside of your body, so even if the body is damaged you cannot be killed until both pieces are. You become immortal. Dumbledore naturally didn't believe him, saying he didn't have enough proof. I believed him but now I'm not so sure." I broke off my voice trembling. "He wanted to go and kill it. He told us about the cave by the shore where it was supposedly hidden because Voldemort used your family house elf, Sirius. Dumbledore forbad him to leave the school to go look for it. I begged him and he promised me he wouldn't go look for it." I started crying again. "He promised me he wouldn't go! I checked every day making sure that he didn't leave. I kept a close eye on him and when Dumbledore came up to me and said he hadn't seen him, I knew that he went. I checked first, and Dumbledore than took me with him to the cave. When I got there Voldemort was there." Peter cringed at his name.

"Voldemort?" Lily asked shocked.

I nodded, "He had kreacher with him. Kreacher was crying and Voldemort was taunting me. Telling me that he was dead, but I didn't believe him. I tried to get rid of the inferi where he told me that Regulus was. I created a large amount of flames but he stopped them in mid air. He asked me to join him and when I told him no he sent my flames back at me and I couldn't get them off. When Dumbledore said the countercurse, I sent another curse at Voldemort but before I could see if I hit him, Dumbledore took my hand and disapparated." I finished the story, and everyone had the same wide eyed look. "Sirius, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

"You're right." He told me. He stood up looking down on me. "It's is your damn fault! You didn't give a damn about my brother!"

"I did!" I protested. "I loved him!"

"Yeah right. You are just like your family. How could I ever have thought you to be different. You're manipulating, uncaring, and selfish. You don't care about anyone but yourself!"

"Sirius!" James screamed. His words hit me like ice. Maybe he was right. It was all my fault. If I had just minded my own business, he would still be alive right now. Alive and safe. I stood up backing towards the door.

"You're right." I croaked out. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry to all of you." I said before turning around and running from the room. I heard Lily scream after me, but I kept going. Aubrey, I thought. Regulus would want Aubrey to know. I ran to the Ravenclaw common room. I approached the eagle knocker.

"Is death the end?" it asked me.

"Yes, life is everything." I answered. The door swung open and I entered the dome common and to my luck sitting by the fire reading was Aubrey.

"Xeomara?" She asked. Then after looking closely exclaimed, "What happened?"

"Nevermind that! I need to ask you something." She nodded. "Did you love Regulus?" She blushed slightly before looking down. "Answer me!"

"I-Yes. I do. He kissed me yesterday and ran, then I only saw him once today at it was late around 10. He kissed me, and I didn't like it he looked like he was saying good bye. And he told me he loved me, and before I could answer back he ran off on me!" She finished in a huff.

"I heard about that. Well about yesterday." I told her.

"You said _did _you love Regulus. What is that supposed to mean?" I looked at her pointedly. She put her hand over her mouth and shook it slightly. Tears filling her eyes, and rolling down her cheeks.

"No." she muttered. "No!" she said slightly louder. I just grabbed her and pulled her into a tight hug where she sobbed onto my singed robes. After a few minutes or maybe hours she pulled back.

"W-what happened?" I figured he would want her to know, so after she swore to secrecy I told her the whole story. She cried through most of it.

"I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I'm so sorry that you guys can't be together. He really did love you." I said regretfully.

"It's not your fault. He wanted to do it." I shook it off. "Thank you for telling me. I think I need some sleep now." She said before turning around and walking up the stairs.

I think I also needed sleep. Slowly I started the walk to the Gryffindor tower. My brain getting foggier with each step. Soon I was stumbling to take one step. Regulus I thought before I fell forward into blackness.

I woke up to a cold rag gently wiping at my face. I popped open my eyes to see Lily wiping my face, and Madam Pomfrey putting lotion and bandages over my burns.

"Oh, your awake. Remus and James found you. They carried you back here." I looked around noticing I was in my dorm. I moaned and closed my eyes tightly. Trying to block out what happened earlier. My burns stinging, and my head spinning.

"Miss. Raes, you are to stay put until and get some sleep. You will be excused from classes tomorrow. Come now, Miss Evans let's let her get some rest." She said. Lily leaving the cold rag on my forehead slowly bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Get some rest okay Zee. I'll be here if you need me." It was then that I started crying again. "Don't cry Zee. It will be okay." But I didn't stop.

"Come now, Miss Evans." Lily slowly backed up pulling the curtains around my bed shut. I searched for my wand, and grabbed it in my hand. I performed a silencing charm around my bed, before rolling over into a ball. I wrapped my arms around myself shaking with sobs. Why? Why Regulus? He saved so many lives, he wanted to change. He got a second chance. Why did that get taken from him? Why did he get taken from me? I needed him? My crying got harder and louder. Making it hard for me to breathe, sounds like waves crashing in my ears. I clutched my chest which felt like I had a large gaping hole. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly waiting for unconsciousness. The waves in my ears crashed around me, and I did not resurface.

-Sirius' POV-

The door opened, "Sirius?" I heard James asked. I tore my eyes from the ceiling and looked into his face.

"Yes?" I asked him.

"We found Zee, she was unconscious in the Ravenclaw corridor." He told me.

"I don't care."

"But Sirius-"

"No James! She killed my brother!" I yelled. Peter flinched.

"She didn't! Voldemort did! She did this for you Sirius!" I shook my head at him.

"Sirius, she already blames herself don't make it worse for her!" Remus said.

"Who's side are you on, Remus, James?" I asked them.

"I'm not on anyone's side Sirius!" Remus screamed. I raised my eye brow at James.

"You know I wouldn't pick sides."

"I think it was her fault too." I heard Peter say quietly. James rounded on him.

"You what?!" He yelled. "How could you think that?!" Peter just shrank back.

"Oh leave him alone James." I yelled. He opened his mouth. "Just let it go James!" I said rolling over pulling the pillow over my head.

My little brother. Little Reggie, who would come in my bed during thunderstorms because he was afraid, who would cry when mum yelled or when dad hit me, who repeatedly played pranks with me during our large family party's. He's gone, I may not have known him now but I he was still my brother. And he died doing the right thing. He was like me. He wanted to leave the family just like I did, and I left him. I should have tried harder earlier. I should have taken him with me. But I over looked him because he was a Slytherin. Was I any better than my family? Than what Xeomara did? I left my brother, deserted him because assumed the worst. I should have taken the time to look at the full picture. I've been so stupid and now he's gone. I rubbed a tear that fell down my cheek. He's gone.

I rolled over, finding it light out. Realizing I fell asleep I quickly looked at the clock. It said 12. I sat up. I missed my morning classes! The room was empty. The sound of the door opening brought my glaze to it. Dumbledore strode into the room.

"Good Afternoon Mr. Black." He said, he blue eyes piercing me.

"Sir." I nodded.

"I excused you from all of your classes today." He told me.

"Okay."

"Mr. Black? Would you like to talk about it?" I shrugged.

"What is there to talk about?"

"Sirius, your brother was murdered by Voldemort. There is a lot to talk about!"

"What's done is done."

"You can't hide from your feeling Mr. Black. Xeomara is already hiding." My blood boiled.

"I don't give a damn about her." I snarled. He looked taken aback. "She is the reason he's where he is now. And if I think about it, you are too." I said glaring at me.

"Believe what you want Mr. Black. Hate me if you want. But don't hate Xeomara. You need her." I scuffed. "And remember Sirius, this is what your brother wanted." He said before walking out of the room.

What my brother wanted huh? I thought.

James, Remus and Lily were avoiding me. They didn't believe that Xeomara was the reason he was dead, but I knew she was and I was holding my ground. Lily told us that she won't come down and she won't eat. She locked herself in her bed and won't answer anyone. This made James glare harder at me. I went to classes the next day and the news still hadn't gotten around yet, though a large amount of people noticed his absence. That night at dinner thought, everyone knew. It was announced to the students, everyone was shooting glances in my directions for the rest of the night but not bothering to avoid me seeing as I was supposed to hate him. My cousins or anyone else for that matter weren't aware of the circumstance.

I was walking back to the common room with my mates when a cute ravenclaw sixth year stopped me. Her violet eyes watery.

"Excuse me? Sirius?" She asked. Upon looking in my eyes, her tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I'm s-sorry about your brother." I raised my eye brow at her. "I know." She whispered to me. We all looked at her in shock. "Your brother and I had, well I guess a secret friendship. Our friends hated each other, but we didn't. We got on well actually and well, I was in love with him."

"You were?" She smiled sadly and nodded.

"We met up every free chance we got in the library, and well one day you girlfriend I mean ex girlfriend came with him. I was confused but it was all explained to me last night. Before h-he went to the cave, he told me he loved me." She said, sobbing now. I grabbed her hand tightly. "And when Zee came to me last night, I couldn't believe it, but she swore it was true and now that Dumbledore's said it. I guess it's true. I know you didn't see eye to eye, but he was such a great person, Sirius. I hope you know that." She said before dropping my hand and walking away.

"Wait!" I called after her. She turned around, "What's your name?"

"Aubrey Williams." She said again, then walked off without looking back. I heard a sniffle and turned around to see Lily sobbing into James' chest.

"H-how horrible. They can't even be together! And they loved each other. Imagine not being able to be with someone you love! I just-" She couldn't finish for her sobbing got worse.

"Shhh Lily, it's okay." James said trying to soothe her, but was looking pointedly at me. I looked quickly away.

Soon, one day turned to two and two turned to three. Next thing I knew a whole week flew by, and Xeomara had still yet to come to class. Lily said she was worse than ever. Every day she would leave a tray of food and some water by the bed, and every day only the water would be missing. She didn't leave her bed, she didn't talk to anyone, and she wouldn't go to class.

We walked down into the common room on the seventh day, and saw Lily huffing and puffing as she walked down the stairs.

"She still refuses to get up!" She yelled upon seeing us. "I can't believe she'd act this way. It's been seven days! She hasn't eaten or talked to anyone!" I opened my mouth to make a smart arse remark when the portrait swung open revealing Professor McGonagall.

"Miss Xeomara still not up?" She asked sternly.

"No Professor."

"She has been in bed long enough!" she said stalking past us up the stairs. We all crowded around the bottom to listen.

"Raes! Raes! Wake up!" She yelled. When she didn't hear an answer she said, "I know you can hear me!"

"Merlin, what could you possibly want?!" I heard Zee scream loudly. Lily gasped.

"I will not be spoken to that way! You have missed four days of classes! I will not tolerate you missing anymore. Enough sulking-" Xeomara cut her off.

"SULKING?! I THINK I HAVE EVERY RIGHT IN THIS DAMNED WORLD TO SULK. REGULUS IS DEAD! DEAD! AND IT IS ALL MY FAULT. AND TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE I WAS DOING THIS FOR MY BOYFRIEND WHO BROKE UP WITH ME BECAUSE HE THOUGHT I WAS CHEATING AND NOW BLAMES ME FOR HIS BROTHER'S DEATH! AND YOU THINK THAT ISN'T REASON ENOUGH TO SULK?!" My jaw hit the floor.

"Damn, I've never heard her this angry. She's yelling at McGonagall!" Remus stated.

"Poor Zee." She Lily looking down. A scream brought me out of my thoughts.

"MISS RAES! WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!" McGonagall screamed.

"Getting dressed what's it looked like?" it was silent for a few more moments before she exclaimed "HAPPY?!" I then heard the door slam open, and watched as she bounded down the steps. Her hair was pulled into a sloppy bun, he tie was undone and her shirt just barely buttoned. Her blue eyes were dull, and were red and puffy showing that she been crying, and also the rings of purple underneath shown her lack of sleep. When she saw us she started for a second but continued on anyway.

"Maurie?! What the hell!" James said loudly grabbing her wrist.

"Get of me James." She said in a quiet even voice. She pulled her wrist back and tried to walk around him when he got in her way.

"Maurie listen I-"

"Move Potter!" she snarled. I hurt flash through his eyes as he slowly moved aside, she didn't look back as she walked out of the common room.

"James?" I asked touching his shoulder. He looked quiet dazed.

"She called me Potter! Potter?!" He then turned on me, his usual warm hazel eyes were hard. "This is your fault! The reason she's like this is because of you! If you didn't blame her for something she didn't do!"

"My fault?! It is her own fault Prongs." James head snapped up.

"Don't call me that!" He said walking away and back up the stairs to the dorm.

"You're wrong Pads." Remus said before walking away. "I'm going after Zee, Lily you get James." She nodded and walked off. When I opened my mouth to say something he snarled, "Shut your mouth Padfoot." Before walking out. I turned to Peter unsure of what just happened.

"I know I'm right." I muttered to myself. "I have to be right."


	26. A Letter Of Good Bye

I own nothing but my OC'S.

Chapter twenty six- A Letter of Good Bye.

I was sitting in my favorite spot in the astronomy tower, the one no one knew about. Well besides me and the other marauders. It was hidden from the view of everyone else by tapestry with a password. It was common knowledge around my mates that this was _my _spot. The one I came to when I needed to think, or be alone. (Well besides the lake but everyone knew about that.) And usually they would leave me alone when I was here. But apparently not today.

I was already sobbing hysterically by the time Remus found me. "Zee." He said softly before sitting next to me and pulling me into his lap, pushing the hair back from my face. We sat there for a few moments in silence while he stroked my hair gently. When I cried myself out I sat up facing him. He wiped the stray tears on my cheek with his thumb. "Don't cry." So much for crying myself out. The sound of his voice made a few more tears seep out. He chuckled lightly at this and kissed them off my cheek.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to him. He looked flabbergasted.

"Sorry?! For what Zee? This isn't your fault. Padfoot is just being stubborn. He knows deep down it wasn't really your fault." I just shook my head.

"It is. I persuaded Reggie, I put the thought in his head. If it wasn't for me, he would be safe and alive and-"

"Living the life he never wanted to live. The live of a death eater." He said cutting me off.

"But he would still be alive. Nothing else matters but that. The fact that he's d-dead." I said as more tears fell. "Well that kills me. Not just because I feel guilty. But because I really did love him. I got to know him so well; he was so passionate and caring. He worries a lot. The biggest worrier I have met in awhile. Almost like you." I said starring him in the eyes.

"Like me?"

I laughed a little but it made me sad so I cut off. "Well sure, he was so sensible. He liked jokes just like you but he was a lot like you in other ways. You are both something you never wanted to be and that gets in the way off your life. Don't look at me like that you know it does. You let it rule you." I say after noticing the look he gave me. "He cared a lot about people, and was always second guessing things a hundred times just like you. Maybe that's why I liked him so much." I said tearing me glaze away from him. "But yet." I began. "He was so much like Sirius sometimes that it made me smile. So arrogant." I said remembering all the fun times we had where we didn't worry about the war or about death eaters or the order, when it was just two friends being friends. Being family.

"He sounded great." Remus said, "I wish we could have all met him the way you knew him now. Instead of how we saw him. I almost feel guilty for not knowing. I know Sirius does. That's why he is putting the blame on you because he doesn't want to put it on himself, when he knows deep down that he should have paid more attention to his little brother."

"No." I told him. "Don't try and justify what I did. Please." I closed my eyes wishing nothing more for a change of subject.

"James was really upset you know." When I gave him a questioning glance he added, "When you called him Potter." I grimaced. I knew I hurt him but I couldn't talk to him, I would die if he turned me away.

"If he was paying close attention to me and listening to what I was telling him, he would have noticed that I didn't mean it. I needed to get away, I felt like I was suffocating." I saw the look of bewilderment on his face as thought I explained something he has been thinking for awhile, but for the life of me I could not think of what it could be that I confirmed.

"I guess he was just to hurt." I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut tightly.

"I can't face them. I can't- I just-"

"You can face them. James, Lily and I we know it wasn't your fault." I noticed he left out peter so I asked him about it. "He seems to think Sirius is right." He curled his up lip in disgust. "Personally I could beat his little ratty ass." I almost smiled at the thought of Remus being violent. Almost. The sound of Remus' watch brought us away from our thoughts.

"Class started." We mumbled together, both knowing what the beep meant.

"You're coming right?"

I nod reluctantly and he stands up offering a hand that I take so he can pull me up beside him. I'm grateful that when we walked down the hall way together he doesn't let go of my hand. Giving me the strength I need to get there without collapsing as long as I have him right now, it doesn't matter because even though my heart is asking for someone else I know that Remus is my brother and that he would look after me no matter what.

When we enter Transfiguration five minutes late the class turns around to stare at us. All eyes looking at our joined hands that he refused to drop, and my disheveled appearance. Even if he tried to let go, I wouldn't have let him. I could feel the way Sirius glared in my direction and I saw the distinct hurt in James' eyes. I looked away not wanting to see the pain I caused him. My eyes sought Lily. She looked at me, not in the least in a pitying way but the way you would look at a friend, a sister when she has been hurt. The love and sadness shown in her eyes calms me down enough so that I don't hyperventilate as Remus leads me to the desk next to theirs. Lily reaches across the aisle and takes my free hand in hers giving it a gentle squeeze that I'm grateful for before dropping it to pay attention to McGonagall.

Seeing as I missed a whole week of school well almost, I only missed four days seeing as I was pretty much yelled at this morning to stop _moping. _ She called me up to the front of the room in front of the class to perform the spells and answer questions about what the other students learned this week. I could tell by the way she did this that it was punishment for me yelling at her, and getting dressed in front of her that which know that I think about it, it was really unnecessary but I was making a point. Not wanting to back down from the challenge or charm my way out of it I stand and perform every spell perfecting it on the first try. Most of them I've done before but even the ones I haven't I seemed to master them just fine. I put little effort into them, I knew I could do it seeing as I _was _one of the best in our year. And I had the determination of a bull. No one was going to stop me a getting a something I wanted.

As I sat down Lily leaned over, "Good job on the spells, I was hoping you could help me on some of them later?" I realized this what just an excuse to talk to me though James hadn't because he said,

"Why wouldn't you just-" I cut him off.

"Sure." I whisper to her, causing James to shoot a look at me. I avoided his glaze again. After class was our free period before potions. I left the class before anyone even go out of their seat. I hurried quickly to the library, confunding the librarian as I passed so I could be unseen as I entered the restricted section. I was never really one for books. I mean yes I could read and I did enjoy a book from time to time but honestly I only used to read when I was locked up in my house, and the feeling then is how I feel now. Only this time I feel like I'm locked inside my own body. Eating isn't an option and hanging out with my friends won't help. So I pull out the thickest book on defensive spells and begin to read. I reach page one hundred by the time I feel someone behind me. I could tell it was Remus, I didn't even need to look so without taking my eyes off the page I ask,

"How did you get in here?"

"I didn't have to try very hard, Madam Prince looked awfully confused. Almost like someone confunded her." My lip twitched a little.

"Hmm really? I wonder who would do that." He sighs and takes the seat next to me. I still didn't look up.

"Zee, would you stop hiding from us?" I didn't answer his question, instead I asked my own.

"Us?"

"Lily and James. They miss you, and they are both really worried about you. Let's go meet up with them. I bet you're hungry, we can go to the kitchens."

"No." This time I look up from my book as he sigh and pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger, his eyes closed tightly.

"Zee." He pleads not moving from his position.

"I-I can't." He moved his hands away from his face in frustration and as he opens his mouth his watch signals that we have class.

"Dammit." I stood up waiting for him. "This conversation isn't over you know." I pointedly don't answer him.

I take a seat next to Remus and to my surprise Narcissa sits down next to me. I glance around and find the seats completely full and notice she isn't too happy about the seating arrangements either. Professor Slughorn walks in smiling as always. He looks around the room and does a double take when he sees me.

"Oh Miss Xeomara, I've missed you. I take it you're feeling better." I shrug.

"McGonagall forced me out of bed this morning sir." I tell him bitterly. He looked shocked by my tone of voice and turned to address the class about the potion we're brewing today.

Once we got started on the potion, Remus and Narcissa doing all the work and me for once not caring about whether or not I contribute. I was just sitting there absently when Narcissa points her wand and sets my robes on fire. I don't even flinch as the fire hits my skin.

"Oho! Miss Raes are you okay?!" Slughorn bellows. I sigh and point my wand lazily at my burning robes shooting them with water. I hear a loud laughter erupt from the slytherins and my cousin Maria's laugh was ringing out loudest against the walls. I don't even acknowledge the fact she cursed me. I don't dry off my wet robes or take care of the burns on my already burnt shoulders. I just start to work on potion acting as if it never happened.

"Zee?" I heard Remus questioning me. I ignored him but to everyone surprise I turned to Narcissa.

"Can you hand me the dragon teeth?" I ask politely. She raised her eye brow in surprise then covered it by sneering at me.

"Get it yourself." She was obviously trying to get a rise out of me but I knew I deserved it. So I just shrugged and reached across her to get the dragon teeth. I counted one then two and dropped them in the potion. I could still feel everyone's glazes on me, and my hand twitched slightly.

When we were dismissed I again raced began to raise out of the classroom but stopped, well more like fell as a tripping curse hit me. I slammed my head hard on the corner of the desk. I closed my eyes for a second in pain before masking my emotions and starting to stand. I felt a comforting hand on my arm helping me up as I heard someone else yell at my cousin.

"Raes! Twenty points from Ravenclaw, and if I ever see that again you will be serving detention with Filch. Understand?" Lily yelled. I looked up and met amber eyes that I knew belonged to Remus. His hand and body was moved out of the way by Lily who was seething in anger. She helped me up and placed her hand on my back as she led me out of the classroom.

"I swear, the nerve of some people." She stopped me and pulled me out of the way of the students. Remus standing next to her, as James stood further away with Sirius and Peter. She lowered herself down to my level to examine my head that was now sporting a bump the size of a large egg. My eye twitched slightly as she poked at it.

"Why don't you go to the hospital wing?" Then as she seemed to remember something she moved my robes out of the way to look at my shoulder and sighing, she then grabbed my hands looking at the still raw burns from Voldemort.

"You should have kept getting this looked at. They'd go away much faster if they were healed by Madam Pomfrey."

"They're fine." I said ripping my hands out of her grip. "I don't need to go to the hospital wing. It's a little burn and the bump on the head. I've had worse." I turned my back on her and started walking away, heading in the complete opposite way of the great hall.

"Why don't you sit with me today at lunch?" Lily said grabbing my arm. She bent down low and whispered, "If you want people to think you're okay, you have to act like you are." Was this a challenge?

"Let's go." I said as she linked her arm with mine. We walked into the great hall to our normal seats. James, Remus, Sirius, and Peter filling in their seats next to us. Everyone else piled they're plates high while I picked at the tiny piece of chicken on my plates, not taking one bite. The owls began swooping in and my heart stopped as a tiny black owl landed in front of me. It pecked my hand affectionately. I had to bite my lip to hold back tears. There was a small package and a letter tied to Sunshine. I smiled as I thought his name remembering the story Regulus told me of how he named him. I stand up quickly grabbing the letter and all but running out of the great hall. Without stopping I run straight to the room of requirements hardly having to think about the only place I'd want the room to look like. When the door appeared I entered looking at the familiar midnight blue walls and the large open door way that leads to the balcony. I sat down on the ledge and opened the letter with shaking hands.

_Hey there Zee,_

_I'm not going to say the 'if you're reading this than I must be dead' because you're not thick and you obviously know I am. Firstly I want to apologize. I wanted nothing more than to have the life that you set up for me. Reuniting with my brother, marrying Aubrey, being free but I couldn't do that. Not when I knew what was happening out there. I couldn't just let it go; it's all I think about. I know I promised you that I wouldn't go and I knew you asked me to wait for you but the truth is I can't wait. I didn't know how long it would take for you to come and for Dumbledore to believe me and I just feel like I just have to do it. Just me. Secondly I want to thank you. You spent so much time and sacrificed so much for me. The last time I felt like I belonged with someone was when Sirius and I were still little. You treated me like and little brother and you helped me so much more than you'll know. You helped me be me again when I lost myself and for that I will be eternally grateful. And I loved you for that. You know before I met you I wasn't so sure there was such a thing as love and I sure as hell never told anyone that but with you, you told me everytime I left and I never felt comfortable saying it back even though you know I did. Now that I think about it you probably did that because you didn't know how much time we had left. And to be honest we didn't really have much time. I wish we had more time. But in the short amount of time I knew you I've grown closer to you than I ever have with anyone else. So remember the good times Zee because they'll always be there. I have something to help you remember and that brings me to my third thing. I'm leaving you the pensieve you bought me for Christmas with all my memories filled in there. I emptied them in there right before I wrote this letter. I want you to look at them. For me. I want you to see how much you changed me because I know you. I know that you feel guilty right now but you shouldn't. Though probably no matter what I say you'll always feel guilty. But try for me okay? The memories might even help you. I also wanted to let you know that I left Sirius my fortune. All of it. I figured you wouldn't want anything as superficial as money and besides you are rich enough as it is. My parents don't know where it is going though. I also left you my owl. I figured you'd raise him for me. Little Sunshine would love being with you. I'm dropping this letter and my things off at the ministry before I go do what I have to do. I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad at me. Well there isn't really much left to say, well there is one thing and it makes it so final that I don't want to. So final that when I think about your face when I say it that I have tears pouring down my own. I don't want to say it, I want to say anything but this but well I can't not say it because I want you to have this, even though you can't say it to me. Well here it goes: Good Bye Sister, We'll meet again. I Promise._

_Love always,_

_Reggie._

I put my hand up to cover my mouth as I stifle a sob, the tears roll down my cheeks and on the parchment that I'm holding with a shaking hand. This does make it more final, way more final then I ever wanted to. And even though he asked me, how can I not feel guilty. When I could have prevented it. I would have rather watched him like a hulk and followed him around than wonder off on his own. I could have done something. I was just too worried about the break up and thinking so hard about it that I didn't even think the check the map until Dumbledore had told me he was already gone.

Wow gone. The word sounded weird in my head even though I've said it plenty of times. It just, when I was in my room for that whole week I didn't think at all. Not one though crossed my mind. I'd be lying if I even said I was awake because I remember nothing from the last week. But now thinking about it. Well it hurts even more. How could he think I would be mad at him? If I'm mad at anyone it is myself. If only I got there faster, maybe just maybe I could have saved him. He was 16 years old dammit. 16! And it's my fault he won't make it to graduation. Get married, have children and grow old. I ruined his life. And I will never let myself forget it.

The rest of the day I spent in a haze, my mind going over the letter a thousand times in my head until I memorized every word. So throughout the whole day it was kept playing and replaying itself. I wondered if I'd ever have his words stop ringing in my ears. Because the fact is I can still remember the exact sound of his voice, his smile and the sound of his laugh. And I know he won't ever do that again. I groan in frustration for thinking about it again. And Remus shoots me a look.

We're in charms and there is only 5 minutes left. I managed to get through lunch and through the other classes. This was the last class of the day and I couldn't be more happier than to just run to my dorm and stay there. When the bell rings I don't even grab my books I sprint up to the Gryffindor tower and into the girls dorm where I change quickly before the girls can enter and lock myself in my bed. I stare at the memories in my hand wondering whether or not I'm going to look at them. In all honesty I don't know if I can. So I continue to stare at it.

In the end I don't do it, but I stare at it the next day and then on Sunday I decide that I should do it. If Reggie really wanted me to see them, I was going to see them. I pulled myself out of bed for the first time since Friday night. I showered quickly not bothering to dry my hair just pulling it up in a messy bun and pulling on a pair of sweatpants and one of James' tee shirts. I grab the pensieve and walk swiftly out of the dorm and down the stairs, hoping that no one was awake yet. But of course just as my luck would have it, I'm not the only one awake because when I walk into the common room I stop dead at the sight of Sirius sitting on the couches. As if he feels me there he turns around and looks at me. I try and read his expression. First it shock, then surprise, then confusion, then the anger settles in and he glares at me. I drop my head down and look at the floor as I walk as quickly as I can out of the common room. When I get out I break into a run as fast as I can to the room of requirement. Reggie's and my room. I place the pensieve in the middle of the room facing the blank wall and just like a movie the first memory appears on an imaginary projector and I smile at the three year Regulus sitting in his crib.


	27. Memories

I own nothing but my OC'S.

Chapter twenty seven- Memories.

_Regulus is sitting in his crib smiling and laughing and for the first time I notice someone in front of me, a little boy that could only be four or five making faces at Reg. I realized it to be Sirius. In this scene they both had the same color eyes. They twinkled in the light and shined in a way I wouldn't believe possible, I could see the love radiating off of Sirius' face as he looked at his younger brother. The scene changed and I saw this time a four year old Regulus and a six year old Sirius. They were running around a family party playing tricks and creating little pranks for they're on amusement. Then I saw Walburga Black. She walked towards them as beautiful as ever as she yelled and scolded them for causing problems during the party. They both just smiled at her before running off, not even bothering to listen to a word she said._

I watched as many different scenes unfolded and I wondered how nobody noticed the way Regulus worshipped Sirius. He was like him. He followed him everywhere. How they never have noticed that he wanted to be just like him. That he was never cut out for the life a death eater.

_The scene changed again and this Reggie was still about four, he woke up with a start as the sound of thunder crashed outside and lighting lightened up the whole room. You could hear the rain pouring down loudly on the roof. He hopped up quickly and walked out of his room. You could tell he was scared. He jumped again as the another sound of the thunder hit. He slowly opened the door across the hall that had the words Sirius on it. Sirius was sitting up in his bed smiling at Regulus._

"_I knew you'd come." He told him. "Well don't just stand there come here." He said playfully. Little Regulus walked over quickly and climbed up in Sirius bed, again he jumped when the thunder hit and tears rolled down his pale cheeks. "Hey it's okay, Your okay." Sirius said wrapping his arms around his little brother trying to control the crying. "It's just rain."_

"_A-and thunder." Reggie stuttered. Sirius chuckled a little bit. As the both laid down Sirius arm still around his shoulder. They sat there in silence Regulus still jumping everytime thunder hit until finally he fell asleep. Sirius realizing it. Sat up and pulled the blankets higher around Reg and kissed his forehead in a brotherly fashion._

"_Good night, Little Brother."_

A tear rolled down my cheek as I watched the life of Regulus Black. I could see the love in his eyes when he looked at Sirius and that admiration. But slowly I could see a change in him. As they grew older Sirius began acting out more and more. And Regulus, well he followed his parents out of fear. I watched Sirius get whacked a few good times and all the while Regulus would cry and plead. Asking Sirius why he couldn't just do as their parents asked. I could see a huge distant start to grow between the two brothers and it was painful to watch. To see how much they loved each other and then just nothing. By the time Reg was in fourth year and Sirius was in fifth they didn't even speak. And it only got worse.

I watched all the hard times he had, and I could tell he never really fit in with his friends. And his eyes that used to be so bright and shiny they were dull and lifeless. Then the day that I never really knew what happened came. The day Sirius ran away from home. He never really told us the full story just bits and pieces. It was nothing like I excepted.

_Regulus was standing at the top of the stairs while his brother pushed passed him with his trunk in his hand and running down the steps._

"_I had enough of the dammed house. If you except me to come back Mother you've gone completely mental because I won't come back. NEVER!" Regulus was pushed aside again as his Mother ran down the steps after Sirius._

"_Sirius Orion Black. You get back here this instant. If your father was home-"_

"_There is nothing he can do! I'm done! I hate this house. I hate being a pureblood. I hate seeing you treat people like dirt. Humans Mother, they're humans. And I absolutely refuse to join Voldemort like my cousins. I hate him, and you know what mother? I HATE You!" He said emphasizing the word hate. Sirius had pure fury written over his face and when I looked towards his mother they were wearing the same expression. Regulus however had a tortured look on his face as if he didn't know what to do._

"_You make me sick! You were born into a perfect family. You didn't have to work for anything! Everything was handed to you your whole life. I raised you to be different than this. You are nothing. Nothing but a blood traitor and a disappointment. You shame the name of the Black family." Sirius raised his wand and shot a hex at his mother just missing by an inch. "Why you!" She screamed. She pointed her own wand at Sirius. "CRUCIO!" She bellowed loudly. Sirius fell to floor, twitching and screaming. The sound of his scream ran through the room, bouncing off the walls. I looked at Regulus and saw that he was terrified. However the third black in the room raised his own wand and pointed it at his mother._

"_STUPEFY!" Mrs. Black dropped to the ground unconscious. Reg dropped his wand as Sirius stood up, he looked at Regulus with a look of surprise etched on his face. He was grateful, I could definitely say that. And he was also pained._

"_Reggie I-"_

"_Don't say anything Sirius, Just go." Regulus told him. He voice low and dull._

"_But Reggie I-"_

"_JUST GO DAMMIT!" Regulus screamed. Sirius jumped back in surprise and nodded. Both brother turned around walking in opposite directions. Sirius towards the door and Regulus towards his room. At the same moment they both reached up and wiped a tear off their faces before both slamming their separate doors._

Regulus helped Sirius escape. Sirius never told us that? Could he really have hated his brother as much as we thought he did? He wouldn't. I guess I almost missed judged the hurt for hate. It never really occurred to me that Sirius maybe didn't hate his brother.

Next I saw memories that was him and Aubrey. All the study sessions at the Library. I saw the way they acted around each other and more tears rolled down my cheeks knowing that they loved each other and that they couldn't be together. Soon I reached the memories I was in, when this whole thing started. With the cruciatus curses and his death eater initiation which was just as he explained. I cringed as the little boy fell dead to ground. I watched all of our meetings and his. And he was right. From the moment that we started hanging out and becoming friends, becoming family the light was back in his eyes. You could tell he was happier. His eyes would twinkle and shine like they used to. Then I got to the night before he left. The night before he left me. I should have picked up the signs.

_I watched as he kissed Aubrey and ran away. Coming straight towards me and the our room we shared. He found me sitting on the balcony. My back was to him as he walked up and sat down next to me kissing me on the cheek._

"_Hey Zee."_

"_Hey Reg." I watched myself as I looked him over. "You look happy. What happened?" he smiled brightly._

"_I kissed Aubrey."_

"_You- You what?!" I exclaimed. "Tell me everything!"_

"_Well I went to the library to meet her like usual and well before I left I just kissed her, she kissed me back but then well, I bolted."_

"_You ran? Oh Reggie please tell me you're joking." I asked flabbergasted._

"_No sorry, I'm not joking. I ran right here." I watched as I shook my head in disbelief._

"_I can't believe you. Well she kissed you back, that's a good thing right?" _here is the first sign I should have picked up. _He looked uncertain and sad, as he shrugged his shoulders._

"_I guess."_

"_You guess? It's wonderful. And I just wanted to take the time to rub it in your face that I was right. She clearly loved you!" I teased._

"_Yeah, yeah." He then asked a different question changing the subject. "How is coming with Sirius?" I watched as I put my head down in defeat._

"_It's not coming." I told him. "He won't even look at me."_

"_Promise me you'll try and fix things with him." I looked at him questionately. _Another sign I missed.

"_Of course I'll try I just don't think he will take me back. He's really mad. I can't even explain to him."_

"_He'll take you back. I know it. He loves you!" I just shook my head._

"_I'm not so sure."_

_I watched as we talked about this and that. It was the longest time we spent in that room. Talking about anything we could think off. Most of it was about school and stuff not war related. But in the end the topic came up. It always did._

"_Zee?" he asked after a moment of silence._

"_Huh?" I muttered lifting my head from his shoulder._

"_Thank you. For everything." He added when I looked confused._

"_Don't thank me now, wait until you have you family and your brother. Then you can thank me." He looked sad._

"_I hope that will happen." He muttered._

"_Of course it will!"_

"_How can you be so sure?" he asked me._

_I watched as I looked at him, I know exactly what I was feeling at that moment and the look was on my face. "Because I'm hoping it will turn out that way, and hope is all I have."_

"_So you're not positive it will work out?" I close my eyes and shake my head._

"_No." I said finally admitted the truth to him. "And I'm scared."_

"_Don't be scared. What happens will happen. And there is nothing you can do. You can't go up against fate, not matter how hard you try." A tear rolled down my cheek and he wiped it away before standing and pulling me with him. We reached the door and stopped just like we always did, before we went our separate ways._

_He pulled me close and hugged me tightly and slightly longer than normal. He kissed my cheek not breaking from the hug. When he pulls back I opened my mouth to say I love you just like I always did, because in truth I did never know how long we would have together, how long he would have to live, how long I would live. Especially since the danger we were both in. I told James I loved him all the time and why should Regulus be any different. I considered him my brother too. But to my surprise he said it first._

"_I love you Zee. Thank you so much." I watched as I blinked in surprise, he didn't wait for me to respond, he just opened the door and I watched as he walked out, not once looking back."_

The memories stop there and I'm left staring at a blank wall. The thought are swirled around in my head. So many things to process at once. He knew. He knew that night we talked that, that would be the last time he would see me. I should have known. It was the first time he admitted he loved me. Not that I didn't know. I mean I was like his sister. But I should have known. I wish I would have picked up the signs. Then I definitely would have been able to save him. But I couldn't save him. I couldn't!

I picked up the closest thing to me and through it across the room. The sound of glass shattering didn't faze me. Him and Sirius were supposed to be brothers again. They loved each other, well used to. The fact that they couldn't talk to each other anymore made me feel guilty that I wasn't talking to my own brother. I was avoiding James and I shouldn't be. If those memories taught me anything it was that, I did in fact change him, and that you couldn't fight fate. What happens, happens, just like he told me. You can't fight fate.

Now that I watched them I didn't know how to feel. Did I still feel guilty? Yes. Did I believe it was all my fault? No. Was I angry? A little. I mean how could he do that to me? To Aubrey and Sirius? I wasn't mad at him. I was mad that he didn't tell me. To be honest I would have went with him. I would have rather died with him. We were a team. We should have done it together.

But if I was honest with myself right now, I would say that all I wanted was James. Actually I needed James' strength to feel whole again. I knew it wouldn't help all the way but maybe a little. I left the pensieve there, making a promise to come back for it as I sprinted from the room. I knew James patrolled the corridors Sunday mornings by himself. Now the hard part was to find him. I ran all over the castle looking for him, but when I found him it wasn't in a place I'd except him to be. He was in _my _place. The place I went to think. The secret passage in the Astronomy tower.

"James?" I said. He stood up quickly and whipped his head around. I stared at him deep in the eyes are minds connecting just like always. "I'm sorry." I told him without speaking. "So Sorry." I thought again as tears rolled down my cheeks. He never could handle the sight of me crying. Because when I cried he cried. That's how it always was. Ever since we were little. It was the same way with me. Or whenever he was mad I was. And I think it's just because we could share feelings that it happened but I felt his love and sadness enter me, and he caught me before I fell. I cried on his shoulder, his own tears cascading through my hair. "I'm sorry." I voiced. I kept repeating it over and over again, as I cried.

"Don't be sorry. Please don't be sorry." James begged. My lower lip trembled, and he put his finger on it so it would stop. I calmed at the little touch and hugged him tightly. As my tears dried. And in turn his did too.

"I should have never have avoided you. I was scared. I couldn't stand it if you turned me away. What would I have done without you?" I asked him.

"I will never turn you away. Never. I'll always be there for you. You know that. I don't even have to say it. You're my little sister and I love you. We're supposed to be there for each other. Just don't do that again okay? I get anxious when I can't protect you. Got it?"

I laughed softly. "I won't." I promised and I vowed silently that I never would.

-SIRIUS' POV-

After I saw Xeomara leave with the package in her hand I couldn't help but follow her. I grabbed the cloak first of course but I caught up to her anyway. I entered the room behind her and almost gasped at the sight of it. The room with huge with midnight blue walls. There was a large opening leading out to a balcony and the ceiling was pure glass. I watched as she opened the package and took out a pensieve and I was wondering why she would have one. She set it up playing it on an imaginary projector.

My heart stopped at the sight of my little brother and me. I watched the memories she did, silently crying to myself as I remembered each one that I had forgotten. I forgot how close we were, and I knew that I should have looked closer. I should have seen the change in him. How his eyes no longer shined and how he closed up but instead I became selfish thinking nothing of my little brother. Finally I watched the memories I've always wanted to see. The ones that included him and Zee. I watched the first time he decided he wanted to change how he cried to her. My heart clenched as I watched on seeing how close the two became. The fun times they had together, Zee beggin him to take her on his library date with that Aubrey girl. The way they talked about it afterwards. I never thought I'd see Reggie blush but he did and it made me smile. They really did care about each other. I watched all the death eater's meeting and all of Zee, Reg, and Dumbledores. Knowing he did all this only made it harder. He really wanted to change. And What did he get? Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.

The last memory was the hardest for her to watch and I heard her muttering something about the last day. I'm assuming this was the night before he died. She sobbed the whole time muttering to herself about wishing how she noticed. Just watching this made me cry. You could tell he was trying to say good bye. It was obvious and yet she didn't see it. The sound of broken glass brought me from my thoughts. I realized she had just thrown something at the wall. She then opened the door to leave and I quickened my pace so I could leave as well. She took off running again but this time I didn't follow. I was trying to memorize my brother and the way Zee saw him. The side of him that I'd forgotten existed.

I was sitting in the common room in silence for who knows how long. Everyone was still asleep and I was sitting by the fire, thinking. What else it knew I thought bitterly. The door opened I turned and saw Zee walk in her hand wrapped tightly around James' I automatically narrowed my eyes. I don't care if she really did love him, because no matter what it comes down to. It was still her fault.

"Sirius." James greeted. We were still a little touchy about our fight. But none the less I've forgiven him. I knew how upset he was when Zee ignored him.

"James." I glared at her, but didn't say anything. She looked uncomfortably at James before whispering something in his ear and kissing him good bye. She ran up the stairs and towards her dorm. I turned on James.

"So I see you two made up?"

"Of course we have, she's my little sister. Did you except me to turn her away?" he asked raising an eye brow.

"I won't ask you to choose." I said my voice sounding like it didn't belong to me.

"Merlin Padfoot. Just lay off her. It wasn't her fault. I wish you'd stop blaming her for something your brother wanted. She told him not to go. She didn't give him a free pass to do whatever he wanted. She wanted him to stay but he went anyway. So tell me Sirius, please tell me how it's her fault?" I opened my mouth to answer and when I couldn't tell him. He smirked at me.

"I knew you couldn't because you know deep down that it wasn't her fault. You know deep down you are just looking for someone else to blame so you won't have to blame yourself. Well guess what Sirius? It's not your fault either. It's just something that happened. Something you can't change." I just shook my head. "I'm done arguing with you and trying to convince you because no matter what I say you won't listen. Really Sirius, Just think about what I've said." With that being said he turned around walking up the stairs to our room.

I sat down again, thinking over what James said. Did I really blame myself? Of course not that's just silly. It wasn't my fault. Sure I've admitted to myself that I should paid more attention to him and maybe I would have seen him. The real him. But was it might fault too? Okay if I'm being honest it was my fault. But it was more Zee fault than it was mine. And nothing anyone can say will change my mind. I'm determined to stand my ground. It was Zee fault and that's it.


	28. Welcome Back

I Own Nothing But My OC'S!

Chapter twenty eight- Welcome Back.

Two full moons. Two full moons passed without Zee. And the third would be tomorrow. Even though we aren't on the best of terms I knew she would still come if it wasn't for the fact that she can't transform anymore. Apparently James said she tried just before the first one she missed and it was so painful she passed out only half transformed. To be honest she couldn't really do much anymore. She didn't laugh, or smile. She only talked if someone asked her something or addressed her first. She didn't even fight back when the Slytherins picked on her. She instead remained indifferent. She doesn't hang around with anyone either, she's spent some of her time in the library in the restricted section, and some in the hospital wing. But the place she spends her time in the most is in the room of requirement, and I'm sure it's the room her and Regulus used to use. The slytherins beat her up on a daily basis and it wasn't just the girls. Sometimes she would get beat up by three boys at once. I knew she could take them, but she didn't. She never raised her wand at them.

So in other words she was a walking talking robot. I'm long past believing it was her fault for the death of my little brother. I came to realize it wasn't her fault as my anger wore away the only thing left from us being friends was my damn pride. I know it's wrong and I know I should just apologize but I can't. Not after everything that happened. I know that doesn't make much sense but it does to me. I'm on better terms with all my friends now though they are a bit angry at the fact that I just won't step up and apologize.

Everyone is worried about Zee. She looks a mess. And I don't mean that in a mean way. She comes to class with her hair in the same sloppy bun, dark circles under her eyes, her blue eyes that usually shine are dull and looking more grey than blue, her shirt with buttons undone and her crooked tie loose around her thin neck. Even her clothes are starting to look big on her. I miss her smile, her laugh, her voice, the way her eyes turn electric blue when she's angry, the smirk she gets on her face after she plays a prank, her charm, her wit, her intelligence and the jingle of her charm bracelet when she walks. I just miss _her_. Everyone does, the girl that usually brightens up our group, taking care of us isn't here. James looks like he's in pain every time someone mentions her names, Remus looks sad and tired, Peter gets quiet, and Lily's eyes fill up with tears. They've all tried getting through to her, but nothing is working. Remus follows her to Library every chance he gets, James follows her up to her place in the astronomy tower, Lily to the lake, and Peter trails behind her when walking to class, but she just brushes them away or finds an excuse to leave. We are losing our friend and I'm scared that if she doesn't get help we'll lose her all together.

I look over to Remus and see him looking pale and tired. I sigh thinking of the full moon tomorrow and I look unconsciously over at Zee. She's staring down at her plate moving it around with her fork not once taking a bite. I frown harder. Does she even eat? But then I shake my head, there is no way someone could go almost three months without food. Could they? I study her, trying to decide if she looks thinner or not but I'm interrupted as the mail swoops down. I look at James quickly and see he has the same look in his eye every time the mail comes knowing he won't get any letters from his parents again. I pat his shoulder.

"S' alright Prongs." I tell him, he manages a weak smile. Lily squeezes his hand. I hear an audible gasp come from Zee. Which surprises me because she hasn't shown any emotion in, well three months. I look at her sharply and she two owls sitting in front of her. One I recognize as her family owl and the other is- No. It can't be. My own family owl is sitting right in front of her. Both owls holding howlers. My eyes widened.

"Shit." James says. I turn to see that he is staring her in the eyes and that she is staring back and I can tell they are silently communicating. The owls fly away leaving the howlers in the air. The hall gets quiet as the two letters burst open together. Her mother's voice and mine ring out through the great hall. I can only pick out certain things.

"Blood traitor"……"Killed my nephew"………"Dishonoring the family name"……."Murderer"……… "L'excuse pathétique pour une sorcière."………."You're lucky your father and I"……"Stupid Little girl"…………."I'll kill you!"……….."Next time we see you"

I couldn't take hearing it anymore, with the reflexes of a seeker I reach out and grab both howlers in my hand crumpling them. The great hall is still quiet until the sound of someone yelling "Meurtrier." Breaks the silence. Soon most of the Ravenclaws and all of slytherins are chanting that from their seats. Zee stands up quickly. To anyone else she looks calm and collected as she stares around blankly, but I know better because her right hand is shaking slightly. Something that always happens when she nervous, or upset. She pushed out her seat and walked with her head held high through the isle towards the door. The sounds of "Meurtrier. Meurtrier." (Murderer, Murderer) Still ringing out in the hall. I closed my eyes for a second and when I opened them she was gone.

"SILENCE!" I turn towards the staff table, Dumbledore, his blue eyes piercing angrily. "That is enough, continue eating your breakfast then off to class." I turn and look towards my friends.

"What did they say?" Lily asked me quietly.

"They called her a murderer." I all but snarled. James swore loudly and this time Lily didn't yell at him because she swore loudly too, Peter gasped, and Remus stood.

"I'm going after her."

"No." They all looked at me.

"What?" Remus asked looking shocked.

"I'm going."

I all but ran out of the hall in search of her but I didn't have to look very far because standing with her back leaning against the wall near the door breathing heavily was Zee. Her eyes closed tightly, her hands still shaking at her sides.

"Zee?" She jumped and her eyes shot to mine. Her used to be blue eyes were staring at me in complete shock. She just stared at me not blinking for a few minutes then closed her eyes, almost convincing herself she imagined it, which she didn't.

"Zee?" I repeat again. This time she looks at me and recognition crosses her face.

"Sirius?" she croaks out. I smile softly and nod.

"Hey there." I watch as she swallows thickly.

"Hi." I sigh, wanting to get passed the greetings. I'm at her side in three strides and I take her shaking hand in mine. Her eyes flare blue for a second but revert back to grey.

"I'm sorry." She takes a shaky breath and closes her eyes. "I was wrong, so wrong. Words can't even explain how sorry I am. I was stupid, I was a prat. I look at this guilt you have and its all wrong. You should feel guilty because if anything you helped Regulus do something he wanted to do. You risked your life for my brother. So thank you." She opened her eyes and stared at my face.

"You're welcome." She whispers. "If only I had gotten there in time I could have-"

"Done what? What could you have done? It was Voldemort. You couldn't have done it alone." I traced the burn scar on in inside of her palm. "You were very brave. Sorry I blamed you. Will you ever forgive me?"

"Yes." She said without answering. I grin wider, she opened her mouth to say something when I heard a very sarcastic voice ring out.

"Oh Cissy, look how sweet! The blood traitor and the murderer holding hands. Isn't it sweet?" We both look to the voice of my cousin Bella.

Narcissa just sneers. "I actually think it's disgusting. But if you like that sort of thing Bella."

"Shut your mouth Bella. Narcissa." I voice out. I reach for my own wand but Zee puts a hand on my arm.

"Leave it Sirius. Let's go." She tugs on my arm. When I don't move she just sighs and starts walking away. I was so busy glaring at Narcissa that I missed Bella taking out her wand and sending a hex towards Zee. With surprising quickness Zee spins around deflecting the spell, the only sound is her charm bracelet jingling, her eyes now an electric blue and flashing dangerously.

"I'm not in the least surprised that you hexed me behind my back Bella. Only a cowardly slytherin like yourself would. You have no chance of beating me, you've known this and yet you still try. Don't be so foolish Bella." She says the young girl with the wild dark hair and heavy lidded eyes who was now on the floor her face contorted in pain from where she collided with the wall.

"Cowardly Slytherin? Don't make me laugh. You've been running from arguments since you killed my poor little cousin. How is this bravery?" Narcissa said with her signature smirk. I watched as Zee blues eyes flashed dangerously again before she performed magic I've never seen. She swished her wand in an angry motion, purple light shot from her wand, but before it reached my cousin it expanded into a shield and made my cousin fly back and join her younger sister on the wall.

"Shut up! Just shut up!" Zee screamed. "I'm so tired of listening to all of you! I didn't kill your cousin! Didn't Voldemort tell you what happened? Your perfect little death eater cousin was trying to kill him! How do you feel now that you found that out? So I suggest you shut your mouth before you speak about things which you have no idea about." Her eyes were still blue and were now glaring daggers at the tall fair haired and fair skinned girl. "Oh and by the way, I saw your master after it happened. He wasn't too happy. Morbid? Isn't he? But if you like that sort of thing." She said mocking Narcissa's earlier words. "Don't hex me behind my back again, or you'll get much worse." With that she turned her heel, taking her hair out of its usual bun, her long curls, longer than usual now landing at the bottom of her lower back.

Without a word towards my cousin I followed Xeomara down the corridor.

"Hey Zee, Wait up!" I yelled. She whipped her head around and I was glad to see her eyes went back to her normal ocean blue. She stopped and waited for me to catch up. "Where did you learn that spell?" I asked when I reached her and fell into step next to her.

"I've read quite a few books on defensive spells." She replied quietly. The rest of the way to the empty common room was spent in silence. When we walked into she walked slowly and all but fell onto the couch. She sighed and placed her head into her shaking hands. I sat down next to her, and placed my hand on her back.

This time she looked up, tear falling freely from her eyes. "I'm the one that should be apologizing Sirius. Not you. I just wanted to help you. I wanted you to be able to know and understand your little brother. But all I did is make things worse. I-" She broke off, sobs taking over her small body. I pulled her into a hug but after I felt the pile of bones she was I retreated back quickly. Angrily. She hasn't been eating, that much was obvious.

"What?" She asked confused at my expression.

"Get up stairs now."

"Huh?"

"Go." I repeated. She got up and I put my hand on her back pushing her up the stairs. Once we got in there, she put her hair into its sloppy bun getting it away from her face. "Take off your clothes." This time she looked extremely confused. She raised her eyebrows.

"Sirius?" She questioned.

"Just do it." From my expression, I think she understood what I was hinting at because her hands shook again, making me realize she was nervous. She stood with her back to me and slowly took of her shirt. I stared at her back, her bones visible on her pale skin. Her shoulder blades stuck out drastically. I walked up behind her and traced my fingers along the long scar made by Remus' claws. I then grabbed her thin shoulders in my hand and turned her around to face me. I sucked in a breath when I saw it. Her ribs were visible. All of them. Her collar bone stuck out as did her breast bone. She looked even thinner than she did back in the beginning of sixth year. I walked back to my bed where I and covered my face in my hands. Looking at her caused me pain. The pain I knew she was feeling. My lower lip trembled and before I knew it I was crying. I felt her thin arms wrap around me as she kneeled on my bed next to me. Her head resting on top of mine. I shifted in her arms, so I could wrap mine around her. My arms encircled her thin body and I cried slightly harder. I can't believe she would do this to herself. I can't believe I helped her to think it was my fault. I was so disgusted with myself.

"Why?" I asked her when I calmed down. I moved back from her embrace.

"I can't Sirius."

"You can't what?"

"I can't eat." She told me. How could you not eat? I wondered.

"No I mean it. I've tried. At first it made me sick looking at it. But I realized I haven't ate in awhile and by then it was too late. I get sick every time I eat. You know how much I hate throw up. So I stopped trying."

"There is no way." I said.

"I'll prove it." She went into my trunk and pulled out a bag of candy. She ate it, swallowing thickly every time. We sat quietly and no later than fifteen minutes she was running for the bathroom, her mouth over top of her hands. I ran in after her and placed my hands on her back as she got sick one, two times. Once she was done I sat back leaning against the wall as she placed her head on the cold toilet seat. Her body shaking.

"T-told you." She said weakly. I grabbed her and pulled her to me, laying her head in my lap. I took her hair out of her bun and ran my fingers through it as her eyes fluttered shut. I sat there for who knows how long just running my fingers through it as she slept curled in a ball, her head still in my lap. Not wanting to wake her, I gently pick her up in my arms and placed her down on my bed covering her body before I layed down next to her on top of the covers. She unconsciously snuggled up next to me. I took a deep breath in and sighed. The next thing I knew, I to was sleeping my troubles away.

-Xeomara's POV-

I snuggled closer into the blankets, wondering why I felt so weak but yet more awake then I've been in along time. Then everything came back to me, the howlers, screaming mothers(Sirius' and mine) the screaming of murderer, Sirius apologizing, narcissa and bella, Sirius find out about me not eating, the throw up. Damn, I thought. A lot of things sure happened to today. I took in Sirius' familiar scent telling me I was laying in his bed. Without opening my eyes I put my hand out feeling for him. When I found nothing I heard a light chuckle.

"Looking for me?" He said, I could tell his grey eyes would be twinkling, and I could already see the smirk on his face. I open my eyes and found him sitting on Remus' bed staring out the window, he turned and face me and I pouted slightly.

"No." I mumble. He barks out a laugh.

"Sure you weren't." Then he adds "Come here." And opens his arms. I get up from the bed, my top still off and go over and snuggle into his side looking out on the grounds. The sun was setting. Wait, the sun was setting?

"Sirius? How long was I asleep?"

"Since after you got sick." He replies.

"Wait what?! Why didn't you wake me? I miss all of my classes."

"You really did change." He mumbles.

"What?" I asked not sure what he meant by that.

"You never cared about missing classes before, but ever since Reggie-" He left the word hanging there and I was grateful he didn't come out and say it.

"I don't really care about classes. It was just something to do."

"But now you can come back." He tells me.

"And now I can." I agree.

We're silent for a moment and then he says, "We have to tell James about this."

Sighing I say "I know, I don't know how I hid it from him in the first place." He raised an eye brow at me but I ignored it. "Your brother wrote me a letter you know."

"Yeah before he left, he dropped it off with the stuff in his will. I don't know if he told you but he left you all his money." His eyes widened.

"He what?!"

"Oh he didn't mention in the letter if he told you or not, but your parents don't either. But you'll inherit all of their money and Regulus'."

"Damn." He said blinking hard.

"Well,"

"Well what?" He asks me.

"Do you want to read the letter?" He looks at me his eyes wide.

"You'd let me?" I give him a smile, the first smile I gave in a long time and nod. I pull the letter out of my pocket where I always keep in and unfold it.

"You carry it with you?" He asks staring at the letter.

"Every day." He takes the letter from me and reads it not once but at least three times. He closes his eyes as he finishes and I place my hand on his shoulder.

"Thank you. Thank you for being there when I wasn't. He really loved you then. You were a good sister to him. You were good for him."

"I loved him too, he was the perfect little brother." I said smiling through my tears. He gave a watery chuckle.

"You can watch the memories if you want." He looks up at me, his expression guilty.

"I already did." He admitted. I narrow my eyes.

"How?"

"Well you know the day you saw me in the common room like really early in the morning." I nod. "Well I followed you out because I was curious, and well I followed you in that room and watched them with you."

"oh." He looked at me nervously. "I'm not mad Sirius. I was gonna show you eventually anyway." His nervous expression gone. I lean into his embrace and we both look back out the window to watch night fall.

-Sirius' POV-

I roll over and when I open my eyes I'm surprised to see I'm looking at the window. This isn't my bed is the first thing I think. I roll over the other way, and see Zee next to me sleeping. It's then I realize we must have fallen asleep in Moony's bed last night.

"Finally awake Sirius?" A grinning James says walking out of the washroom buttoning his uniform shirt.

"Yeah…" I trail off.

"We found you sleeping when we came back from dinner so we left you there." Remus answers my suspicion.

"Oh."

"So does that mean…?" Peter asked.

"No. We're friends." I tell them. James frowns.

"You don't love her anymore?" What a stupid question. Of course I love her. I always will love her but I just feel like we need to take it slow. Get back in order.

"I want to take it slow, so that's what I'm going to do. I want us to be friends again first." Remus nods.

"I think that's reasonable. But now I think you should wake her up so she can get ready for school." I poke her side.

"Zee?"

"Zee?"

"ZEE!" I yell louder. She jumps so high she falls right on the floor with a thump.

"oof." I hear. I roll over and look down at the floor grinning. "Sirius Black! I'm going to murder you!" She yells when she sees me.

"Well good morning to you to my darling Stripes." She just scowls.

"I'm guessing we fell asleep then?" I nod.

"Hey Maurie!" James yells. She hops up quickly not even caring at the fact she's in her bra and runs at James.

"Jimmy!" She says jumping into his arms. He picks her up and spins her around planting a kiss on her scared cheek. He leaned down to her ear, I strained to her what he was saying though it sounded like, "I'm glad your back, I missed you." She let go of James and ran over to Remus.

"Moony! I'm so sorry I've missed the full moons!" She said hugging him, he also liked James kissed her cheek.

"I should be apologizing." He said pulling back. "You're missing all the fun!" Her laughter rang out like a wind chime, a sound I thought I wouldn't hear again. She turned to Peter who was standing next to Remus and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Hey there Wormy!" He kissed her cheek smiling brightly.

"Missed you." He told her. "All the boys are so mean when I ask for help in charms, and Lily isn't very good at explaining. She gets to impatient with me."

"Well that's because you aren't very bright wormtail." I tell him. Zee turns around and scowls at me again but still comes to me and greets me with a tight hug as well. I just like my other Marauders kiss her cheek.

"Good morning."

"yeah, yeah. Well I'm off to get ready. I'll see you all in the great hall!" She said skipping out of the dorm."

"She's back." We all mumble shaking our heads.

Everyone noticed the change in Zee. During breakfast she was laughing, talking and smiling. No one understood the transformation in her because just yesterday she was embarrassed in front of the whole school, but none the less everyone was happy she was joking again. Especially Dumbledore. I watched him watch her at the table talking with her hands, he had a huge smile on his face his blue eyes twinkling.

We walked into Transfiguration the first class of the day. She sat down sharing a desk with me. James and Lily were in front of us and Peter and Remus next to them. McGonagall was walking around collecting our essays that were due. When she walked to our table she said,

"Welcome back Xeomara." I watched as Zee smiled charmingly at her.

"I wasn't aware I went anywhere Professor." She said but her eyes were twinkling. McGonagall smiled and moved on. She began discussing the importance of human transfiguration and saying how we were going to transfigure our partners.

"GO!" She commands.

On an unspoken agreement after we both spare glances at Lily and James. I began transfiguring her into Lily while I knew she transfigured me in James. When I was done I looked over her grinning madly. She looked exactly like the red head in front of me.

"You look just like her." I said at the same time she says, "You look just like him."

"Ohhh James." She coos.

"Oh Lily. I could gaze into your eyes forever my beautiful flower."

"James you really are such the sweet talker. But I could gaze into yours too, they are so warm and comforting, they remind me of the morning sun."

"No my flower, our love is like the sun. it never changes. I shall love you for the rest of my days."

"I love you more." Says Zee, who looks like Lily.

"No, I love you." And then we argue on. Aware of every one staring at us. Then I lean in my hand covering my mouth as she does the same and we pretend to snog passionately.

"Sirius! Zee! Stop!" Says the real Lily glaring at us.

"Well that's how you act." The two Lily's glare at each other. While the two James laugh loudly. Then James turns his glare on me.

"We do not act like that." He says confidently. Then says "Do we?" Zee laughs.

"Sorry Jamie, but you do." His eyes widen in shock.

"Well this is how you act!" Lily says. I watch as they transfigure their selves into us and I crack up. They immediately clasp hands.

"I don't like public display of affection Sirius, but you do now I love you right?"

"Of course love. I love you too."

"Let's go play a prank."

"Okay. Hmm who should we prank?"

"I know how about Severus." And to everyone shock in the room Lily and James both turn to Snivellous sitting in the room and Lily yells "Tarantallegra!" Snape stand up and starts dancing madly.

"That was wonderful love!

"Thank you My dear padfoot!" Everyone in the room bursts with laughter.

"Finite! All right you four, that enough now! Though excellent transfiguration." McGonagall says. The adds on, "Mr. Potter must have been helping you because you've been doing excellent in this class Miss Evans."

"Thanks Professor." James and Lily change back into their selves as we stay the same.

When class ends instead of changing back we walk out of the classroom hand in hand still pretending to be James and Lily.

"Dammit Change back!" Lily yells, as her and James start chasing us.

"Never!" Zee says back gripping my hand tighter as she starts running down the corridor dropping all her books in the process, I do the same as we sprint away from a very angry Lily and James.

"Sirius!" Lily screams.

"Maurie!" James yells at the same time.

We turn around to face them still walking away quickly.

"I believe you mean Lily" I said pointing to Zee. "And James." I say pointing to me. As we duck two red jets of light.


	29. The Right Path

I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter twenty nine-

-Xeomara's POV-

"Sirius, I'm not really sure about this." I say as we walk to the kitchens for dinner.

"What do you mean you're not sure? I promised James, and so did you that you would start trying to eat again. So that's what we're going to do." I scowl at him, thinking about after we got chased by the love birds, how Sirius made me tell James. We brought him to the dorms during lunch and showed him, he was furious to say the least. He yelled for a good portion of the conversation. He was angry that I never told anyone, not angry at me, just what I did. I sat quietly during the whole exchange, Sirius also got in on the lecturing. It was quite boring. Even though I apologized repeatedly I wasn't let off the hook. Both of them were going to take turns monitoring my eating.

"Master Sirius! Mistress Raes!" Squeaked Minnie as we entered the kitchen. "It's been such a while since Minnie has seen Mistress!"

"Apologies Minnie." I reply with a smile.

"Can I have two plates of what they had for dinner Minnie?" Sirius asked with a charming smile at the house elf.

"Anything Sir!" she replied happily. We walked over to the tables and sat down. After the plates were set in front of us we sat quietly. Me picking at my food, while Sirius devoured his.

"Tell me." He begins.

"Tell you what?"

"What it was like, you know Voldemort." My hand comes up and touches the healed burns on my shoulder. "Were you scared?"

"Not in the least." I reply, he looks astounded. "Sirius, I was angry. I was running on pure adrenaline. I do wish I could have seen if my curse hit the mark. I was so mad afterwards that I'm ashamed to say I yelled at Dumbledore. I haven't talked to him since." He reached forward and grabbed my hand.

"I'm sure he'll forgive you. That week," he starts, "The week were you didn't leave your room, what were you doing?" I swallow the food in my mouth thickly.

"Nothing." I tell him, "The first four days I was basically unconscious, not because of my burns or anything I think I was just in shock. I'm not sure I couldn't process anything. I never knew if I was awake or sleeping. Then when I woke up, all I did was cry. I didn't know what else I was supposed to do. I didn't want to talk to anyone and I didn't want to see anyone I just couldn't face it. I was scared and upset." I look down at our hands. "Then when McGonagall came up to get me, well that was the first time I got mad, I was so mad that I yelled at her and then got dressed in front of her."

"You changed? In front of McGonagall?" I smiled slightly.

"She told me to get dressed and go to school. So I did what she asked."

"But afterwards you were so empty. I thought we lost you." Tears welled up in my eyes but I blinked them away, I've done enough crying.

"I was trying Sirius, I was trying so hard to forget and act normal."

"It hurt to watch." I look up at him, with a confused look on my face. "It hurt to watch you try. I've never seen anyone try so hard. It nearly killed James, he looked like he was in physical pain every time someone mentioned your name." I cringed when he told me that, of course I knew James was hurting. I cheated a few times and searched through his thoughts. I know it was wrong of me but I suspect he cheated too.

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize." He says, and I open my mouth to say something as the nausea hits me.

"Oh no." I manage to mutter, Sirius thrusts a bucket under me, where I promptly throw up everything I just ate. I groan as I sit back, Sirius vanishes the bucket and smiles at me.

"It will get better." I snort.

"It better, because if I have to get sick for the rest of my life…"

xx

I sat up staring at the moon, wondering when this night was going to end. I hated not being out there. It made me feel like fifth year after the boys managed to transform and I still hadn't. I wanted nothing more to be out there, helping Remus and going on another adventure. The full moons where never really bad. We all had fun, sure there were so bad times. But we laughed at them later on. Remus howls loudly, and I hear another loud sound that sounded like a bark. The sounds kept coming and I was getting really nervous. Something was wrong. I could feel it.

I ran out to the grounds, not getting caught once, and forgetting that I couldn't transform, ran through the tunnel that led to the shrieking shack hoping to get to Remus. When I open the door I take in the mess in front of me. Prongs was laying on the floor, passed out blood coming from the side of his head, Sirius was barely hanging on in the fight against Remus, and Wormtail was cornered on the floor blood coming out of his back. I watch as Moony sniffs the air, smelling me. He throws Padfoot to the ground with little effort and charges at me. Change, I tell myself change!

Without thinking I threw myself into the air changing in the process and met Remus claw to claw, jaw to jaw. We were snipping and biting at each other. I heard Padfoot whimpering on the floor, and the sound of hooves moving told me that James was waking up. I push harder against Remus' chest, hoping that he'd give up. No such luck I thought as he throws me to the ground. I get back up and run at him again. I knock into him pushing him back against the wall, my paws at his throat. I give him a warning growl to back off. He then whimpers in response and slumps down against the wall. I don't let up though. For the rest of the night I stand over him, and every time he so much as moved or growled I was on him, fighting again.

I stayed transformed, until the sun came up, and Moony slowly and painfully turned into Remus. I quickly change back and walk over to James, Sirius, and Peter. Peter was still unconscious but James and Sirius were laying there with their eyes wide open. I kneel between them.

"How?" James asks thickly.

"We'll talk about that later, come on. I need to get you three to the hospital wing. But I can't do this alone I'm calling Lily."

"What don't! I don't want her to see me like this!" James protests.

"You love, her mate. Just let her come." Sirius says speaking up. James mumbles something that sounded like fine. I conjure a patronus with my wand and send it to Lily with word to help me out at the shack. We sat in silence until Lily burst through the door. Dear merlin, the poor girl must have sprinted.

"James!" She drops by his side and takes his head in her hands. Tears run weakly down her face as she kisses his lips. "I love you."

"I love you too." He replies.

"Is this really the time?!" I ask, as I help Sirius into a sitting position. Lily turns to look at me and Sirius.

"Sorry. Oh you two look horrible. I'll support James, and levitate peter, while you'll do Sirius and Remus." I nod. Once I get Sirius standing up, I carry his weight and turn my wand on Remus, with a flick his is floating next to me and I make my way out of the shack.

"Lily." I say, as we are nearing the common room. "You need to take the boys up to bed, I can't bring them in there like this. Madam would go ballistic. I can heal most of their cuts and gashes."

"Okay. Come here Sirius." She says holding out her other arm. He looks at it hesitantly.

"I don't think you should go either. Look at the state of you!" I look down at my torn robes and bite marks along my shoulders and neck.

'I'll be fine, go!" Reluctantly he lets go and goes into Lily's arms. I walk as quickly as I can to the hospital wing.

"Madam Pomfrey!" I yell as I enter. She comes in and takes one look at Remus.

"Get him over to that bed now! It must have been one of the bad nights." I nod absently. I take my place at his side, while she begins to heal various bite marks, from both himself and me, and the large bumps and bruises on his head. When I'm just about to leave he stirs slightly.

"Zee? How did you-?"

"We'll talk later, get some sleep okay?" I say leaving a kiss on his cheek.

I walk into the boys' dorm. Lily is pacing and the boys are laying on their beds.

"I was wondering what took you so long! They're going to bleed to death."

"They are not going to bleed to death. I was making sure Remus was okay, they understand."

"Yep." They reply together.

"Oh good, you've woken up Peter!" I turn to Lily. "Go to Peter, and starting wrapping up his back, and put this lotion on it." I say walking to the cabinets where we kept such things for nights like these. She does as she's told as I walk to Sirius.

"What were you thinking?!" James asks angrily. I stop mid step and turn to him.

"What are you talking about?"

"You knew that you couldn't transform when you came down there. You were just hoping to distract him while we got away weren't you? You just got lucky that you transformed!" Lily spun around sharply, and Sirius sat up in his bed.

"You did what now?" Lily asks, her green eyes blazing.

"Well excuse me for being concerned. I hated not being out there, and I heard all these howls and barks, and I knew that it wasn't a good night. I knew something was wrong so I brought my wand hoping that I could help out."

"You couldn't- you could have- I can't believe you! Do you have a death wish?" Sirius yells.

"Of course not!" I say sharply turning on him. "I was making sure you all were okay. Sue me because I'd rather be hurt than have my brothers get hurt!"

"Maurie. I was just nervous that's all. I was scared, I smelled you the second you entered. You're what woke me up. Just don't do that again." I soften as I turn to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry." I think in my head. He sighs audibly then I hear his reply in my head, "I know."

"Lily?" I look to her and see she was still seething. "Lily is alright, it all turned out fine."

"Yeah this time! What about next time! I understand you're helping you friend. I do, but what happens if next time I have to pull out one of your dead bodies!" It was then that she breaks down and I run to hug my friend.

"Shh." I tell her, "It would never happen. Never."

"Lily." Lily's head lifts itself off my shoulder as she looks to James. "Come here, baby." He says soothingly. She walks out of my arms and into his. "I'm okay. We're okay." She clings to him while she cries, not caring about the blood she's getting on herself.

I turn my back on them, it was too painful to watch, I walk first to Peter. He was sleepy soundly all ready, with his back taped tightly. I pull the covers up around him and kiss his cheek. Then slowly make my way to Sirius. When I reach him he is glaring at me. I almost shrink back from his glare, but instead I meet it dead on. Without saying a word, I start, trying to stop the bleeding on various claw and bite marks. When I finish I rub the lotion on them and wrap them tightly. I begin to walk away when he grips my wrist, and pulls me back.

"Don't." He says. "Don't scare me like that again. When you threw yourself at him. I thought I was going to lose you." I breathed heavily.

"I won't I promise." I tell him. He lets out a breath and his eyes soften, he reaches up and pulls me down next to him.

"You should really get yourself healed too." I close my eyes and inhale the scent I've come to miss so much.

"Not right now, now all I want to do is sleep." I snuggle closer and he wraps his arms tightly around my waist. Then he whispers something in my hair that sounds strangely like,

"Thank you."

xx

"Sirius? Zee?" I hear someone vaguely calling my name, I try opening my eyes but they feel so heavy. "Come on." The voice coaxes "Wake up." I try opening my eyes again but fail.

"James, why don't we let them sleep." Says another voice. A smart voice. Yes. Let me sleep. "Actually James, it think you should stay in bed yourself. You all had a very rough night. I'll go to class to get your work."

"You're an angel my love." I almost want to laugh at the voice but I'm just too tired. I turn my head onto something soft, inhaling the scent and sigh at how good it smells. I bury myself deeper and without a second thought fall right back asleep.

"Alright! That's it!" I hear a voice scream. I blink open an eye and see Lily standing in the middle of the dorm. "I've come up here various times during the day to wake you all up and not one of you moved! So get up! And go eat some damn dinner!"

"I'm sleeping." I hear someone grunt beside me. I turn and see Sirius, with one squinting at Lily. She ignores him and continues to banter on for another five minutes. It was getting quite annoying.

"FINE!" I exclaim getting up. "Fine! Are you happy now?" I stand up and stiffen as a pain shoots up my back, I fall back onto the bed with a plop.

"Oh! Zee are you okay?" The boys immediately jump to a sitting position. Sure as hell woke them up.

"Maurie! Are you okay?" I grin and roll my eyes.

"Don't have a heart attack James, my back was just a little sore." He looks calmer but more awake. He starts sitting up slowly, and I know he's going to go take a shower like he normally does. I watch as Sirius slowly starts getting up too. They always fight over the shower. At the same time they stand up and run at full speed to the door, but stop when the door is slammed in their faces.

"What?" Sirius asks confused.

"I'm guessing none of you saw Peter walking towards the bathroom?" Lily asks amused.

"No." They both say shaking their heads.

"Well come on, let's get you cleaned up." Lily says offering me a hand. When I stand I cringe at the pain on my back. "Let me just see.." She says starting to lift my shirt. I freeze, if Lily sees how skinny I am.

"NO!" I yell and she jumps back in surprise. "I mean, no Lily that isn't necessary I'll take a look at it later. I'm sure it's just a bruise." She looks at me with an arced eye brow.

"Fine, but you better look at it." I give her a smile.

"Yes Mum." I say good bye to the boys and head over to my dorm with Lily to get showered and dressed.

"You were all very tired."

"It was a bad night." I tell her simply.

"What's going on with you and Sirius?" I ignore that comment and start to take my shower. Nothing, is the real answer. Nothing is going on with us. I'm not sure if it will ever be the same again. Too much has changed since we told each other how we felt. Maybe we were better off being friends. I know _I _still loved him. I just didn't know how he felt about me. I want to be with him, more than anyone. He is it for me. I've known it for a while now, but no one would could compare to him. So if we didn't get back together. Well I'd just be single for the rest of my life. Really, it was all up to him.

xx

"You alright?" I hear Lily ask me for the hundredth time at dinner, while I picked at my food. I obviously couldn't eat in front of them without throwing up.

"Fine." I say stiffly. Wishing to merlin that she would stop asking. Dinner was almost over and most of it was spent in silence. I guess we were all sort of thinking about our own things. I for one, missed Remus. It was always so different when he wasn't there. It didn't feel right when all of us weren't together. I was always too focused on the fact that we were missing someone then to pay attention. I know it made the other boys feel like that as well.

I get up with the rest of my friends with every intention of going to the warm common room when "Miss Xeomara." I hear a voice call out. I turn my direction to the Head Table and smile at Dumbledore.

"Good evening Headmaster." He smiles at my cheekiness.

"Could I have a word." I nod. "In my office."

"Of course sir."

"You know what would be lovely right now?" I shake my head. "A licorice wand."

"Yes." I say agreeing. "It would be lovely." When we walk outside the great hall I look to my friends.

"Alright, I'll meet you back in the common." They nod, and Sirius squeezes my hand.

I walked down the familiar corridor to Dumbledore's office. I could help but think of Regulus. He always was with me here, and I haven't been down this way since it happened. I remember all the conversations we've had here, all the laughs, the smiles. I shake my head forcing myself to think of different things but I knew this was what Dumbledore would want to talk about.

"Ah, Good to see you." Says Dumbledore walking in his office. I was sitting in my usual seat in front of his desk.

"You too sir." Without waiting for him to comment I blurt out, "I'm sorry." He smiles at me.

"You do not have to apologize Miss Raes. I understand what you went through. You were angry, but I needed to make you understand that there was nothing you could have done. Though I'm sure you'll be happy to know that your spell hit the mark."

I look at him in surprise. "Really?"

"Indeed, for what I saw you nearly blew his nose off his face." I grin wider. "That was some pretty amazing defensive spell work for someone your age." I frown a little.

"I had a lot of extra time on my hands sir." He nods grimly.

"I suspect you did." He looks down and when he looks back up at me, he looks the oldest I've ever seen him. "I was worried about you." He admits. "I've never seen anyone go through grief like you have. You wouldn't even talk to James which surprises me because you to are close." He looks up and his eyes tells me he knows more than I thought he did. "Very close, surely you know." I raise my eye brows. "Another time." I nod. "No one seemed to be getting through to you. And I felt guilty."

"Guilty?"

"Incredibly so. I was the one who forbade you to tell anyone, I didn't have to include you in this whole situation, but I did. And now I wish I wouldn't have."

"I don't" His blue eyes pierce mine. "I wouldn't change what I did for a second. I know now that I did something for him that we wanted to badly. And I'm glad I was the one to do it. Regulus turned out to be such a great friend. I'm glad of the time I spent with. I would never take it back. Not even for my relationship with Sirius. Not even for the world." He smiles sadly. "And besides, Voldemort's got a weird looking nose now. I can't wait until I meet him again."

"I'm glad you see it that way Xeomara." I smile at him. "I'm also very proud of you. You've over came everything that your parents had planned for you and took your own path. You will play an extremely big role in this war. I have reason to believe that you'll see it too the end as well." I cock an eye brow.

"You think I'll actually make it through the whole war? How could you know that?" He shrugs.

"Call it a hunch. But you most know, how important you are to this war. How many lives you could save. You have incredible power Xeomara. And I'm glad to know you're not using it to help them, but using it to help us. The side that you choose, the side that is the right side." I look at him, wondering if what he meant was true. "Remember that. Everything you've done so far in your life has been for the good. Not all of us have been that way. Some of us," he says and I have a strange feeling that he is talking about himself. "Had to take a wrong path, before they got back on the right one."


	30. New Relationships

I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter thirty- New Relationships.

After my talk with Dumbledore I through myself into searching for conversations I shouldn't be listening to. AKA the Slytherins. I was looking for an information I could supply to Dumbledore and the Order. Now that we didn't have Regulus information was hard to come by, even though my sister was also a spy she couldn't get away as much as Reg could so it left us in the dark. James and Sirius began to thinking I was gaining an obsession but I couldn't help it. I was determined to prove myself and to help any way I could. I was constantly looking at the map, for any times when the slytherins would meet or leave the castle, but they were not as often as usual.

I was feeling much better these days, almost a month had gone by since I became friends with Sirius again. I can eat now, though it's only a little at least I'm not getting sick. Sirius hasn't mentioned anything about us getting back together and I'm starting to think he wouldn't. James insists that he still loves me and is always trying to reassure me but I don't know. I can't tell, because sometimes he looks at me and I feel just like we used to. Then other times he's reclusive and barely talks to me. It's so damn frustrating. So damn frustrating that I used to want to pull out my hair, but instead of doing that I cut it. My hair that used to be down to my butt was cut to my shoulders, layered, though my curls were still there, trust me I was never getting rid of them. Everyone nearly had a heart attack when I walked in the day after. It went something like this.

"_Hey boys! Lily!" I said as I walked into the dorm._

"_Hey Maur-" he stopped dead at the sight of my hair. The room was suddenly filled with silence and everyone just stared at me. In fact it was beginning to get extremely uncomfortable._

"_So, anyone do McGonagall's essay? I started it in class but I didn't finish it." No one answered. "Okay guys seriously?! It's just a hair cut."_

"_Yeah but it's not you." Sirius answered finally speaking up._

"_It's not a big deal I just needed a change."_

"_A change?" he huffed out._

"_Yeah sure, what's wrong with that?"_

"_Nothing." He answered shortly._

I shake my head as I walk down the corridor wondering what he meant with that expression on his face. I glanced down at the map again hoping to see a secret meeting or something. To be honest I was dying for something to happen. Anything.

"Hey Zee." I turn to the sound of my name being called. Amos Diggery stood there, tall and lean.

"Hey Amos." I give him a warm smile. "How've you been?" He smiles back.

"I've been alright. So you and Black aren't together anymore?" I grimace but shake my head no. "He was stupid to give up a great girl like you." I couldn't help the grin that broke out on my face. I agreed with him, not about me being great I wasn't that conceited but about the fact that he gave me up.

"Well, everyone has their reasons." He leans forward and traces my scar.

"I wouldn't have given you up." My breath catches and I stare up into his hazel eyes that were so different from my bestfriends.

"Oh really?"

"Really." He smiles down at me, "So there is a hogsmeade trip coming up, you interested in going with me?" My eyes widen and I look away. Did I want to go on a date with him? My first thought was, that he wasn't Sirius. And no matter how much I wish he was, he wasn't. My second thought was, was I ready to give Sirius up. Well I guess I'd have to do it eventually. I mean I'll never love anyone as much as I loved him, that much is for sure. And I mean it was only one date right?

"Can I get back to you on that?" He nods and kisses my cheek.

"Take all the time you need."

Xx

**-James' POV-**

"Lily, I'm worried about Zee and Sirius." Lily peeps her head off of my shoulder and stares at me.

"Why?"

"Well, Sirius isn't making a move to get her back and Zee is getting restless. She's so worried he isn't going to be with her again and I'm scared she's going to do something like get a date with someone else and then Sirius is going to mad and then-"

"James." She says silencing me with a kiss. "They're made to be together. Even if they don't get together right now. One day they will again, I promise. It's just one of those things that are meant to happen."

"Yeah, well I hope he says something soon. It's beginning to kill Zee."

"Jamsie! Lily Flower!" Speak of the devil, I thought.

"Hey there mate!" Lily replies happily. "What are you so excited about?"

"I'm going to talk to Zee today." He says sitting down. I grin at him.

"Damn it's about time mate, you were really making her nervous."

"Yeah well.." The common room door busts open and Zee, with her new short hair runs in, looking panicked.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned, I hope nothing with the slytherins she's really become to have quite an obsession with them lately.

"Amos Diggery just asked me out." She says out of breath from running.

"Well did you accept?" Sirius asks nonchalantly. The expression on his face shows no emotion as if he didn't care but I knew better, apparently Maurie didn't. Hurt, flashed across her face before she looked him dead in the eyes, and masked her emotions.

"Yes, we're going to hogsmeade together." One quick look in her eye had me knowing she was lying. Then I cheated, she told diggery that she would get back to him, but now I was certain she would accept. Dammit, why did Sirius wait so long.

"Wonderful, you'll have fun. Though I'm sure James, Remus, Peter, and I will have to check him out, just like old times. Right James?" I blink quickly clearing my head of the thoughts running through. Zee was really sending out her thoughts like a light and it was giving me a headache.

"Oh yeah sure." She swallows thickly, and her right hand shakes. Sirius looks at her hand, but turns his head away. His face an expressionless mask.

"Well, I'm off. See you all later." He turns on his heel exiting the common room.

"Zee?" Lily is trying to pull Zee out of her thoughts and is failing miserably.

"Maurie?" Her head picks up at the sound of my voice and she forces a tight smile.

"Well I better go find Amos and let him know that I'll be joining him." With that she leaves too.

"Find him, I thought she had already accepted." I shoke my head.

"No, she only said that because Sirius acted like he didn't care. She told him she already said yes so that she could act like she didn't care."

"It's scary how you can read each other like that. I swear it's almost as if you two can read each other's thoughts." I smile at her words.

"Don't be silly, no one can do that." If only she knew

"Well, where were we?"

"We actually were talking about Sirius and Zee." She sighs and places herself on my lap.

"I was thinking we could do something else actually." She said with a suggestive grin.

"What did you have in mind?" She reaches up and kiss me long and hard, her tongue shoved forcefully into my mouth. I stand up and cradle her in my arms without breaking the kiss. As I begin to head up to my dorm she breaks from the kiss.

"Now you have the right idea."

Xx

The news that Zee was back on the market raided the school the next few days, she was getting asked out in every class, corridor and even during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sirius was not taking it well. I could tell by the way he closed up every time a boy asked her out and I know he was dying to stand up and punch the bastards. To be honest I wanted to do the same thing. She belonged with Sirius not any of those other stupid boys.

I was pulled out of my thoughts as I heard a familiar voice, "Ooh Sirius Baby, I've missed you." Maurie tenses beside me. I look up to where my best friend is sitting across from me. Sitting next to him is his ex girlfriend Lena. A tall, blonde haired, hufflepuff. She was extrememly ditzy, nothing at all like Zee, actually she was the complete opposite.

"Hey Lena." He says back leaning over to give a kiss that turned into a full blown snogging session.

"Damn." Remus cursed under his breath. "Hey Zee, wanna go to the library with me? I need you to help me in charms."

"Rem, I could help you why don't you-" Lily starts but I cut her off. I had caught on to what Remus was trying to do.

"Go on, Maurie. You're just as good as Lily. Besides Lily and I have patrolling after dinner so go ahead." She nods, following him out of the great hall. It's a common fact the Zee doesn't like the library because it reminds her of her house. Sure she's been in it more times than Sirius and I. I was just a little bit frightened by the library to be honest. I never went in there unless I could avoid it.

"Hmm, where'd Moony go?" Sirius asks resurfacing.

"Went to the library with Zee." I answer with a grimace. He looks away from my expression and back to Lena. Where they engage in more snogging and cooeing, that in all honesty is making me sick.

"You ready Lily?" She nods, and I stand up and take her hand. We walk down the isle and once we get out of the great hall I let my anger unleash.

"Is he stupid?! Does he think this is going to get her back. To make her jealous? With Lena of all people?! He's such an idiot." Lily rubbed her hands up and down my arms soothingly.

"He is an idiot." She agreed. "But he's your bestfriend too. You can't pick and choose. I know Maurie is like your little sister, but Sirius is also your brother. This puts you in a hard position but neither one of them will make you choose." I turn my head away and she pulls it back to her and leaves a lingering kiss on my lips. "Don't stress too much, it will all work itself out. Maybe not soon, but eventually it will get better." I nod, as she takes my hand and we walk off. I wish there was something I could do. Maybe I'd talk to Remus….

Xx

"Remus! We've got to do something! They can't go to hogsmeade separately. That would ruin of tradition!" Remus shakes his head.

"Well you don't except them to bring their dates with us do you. Can you say awkward."

"James, listen I know your worried but I told you, you should just let it work itself out." Lily tells me.

I shake my head, "Remus? Peter? We need to make a plan. We need to get them back together." Remus raises an eye brow while Peter nods.

"I don't like them not together. It doesn't feel right."

"Of course it doesn't!" I agree. "Come on then, let's go into three broomsticks." I walk in and my eyes land on Zee. Well the back of Zee's head anyway. Was that a hand running through her hair? I glance closer, are they-

"She's kissing him!" Lily says frantically. I can't believe she's actually kissing-"

"Who's kissing who?" A voice says from behind me. No one answers him so he moves up and sighs. "Ah, well good for her." Sirius pulls Lena by the arm to take a table all the way on the opposite side.

"This isn't good." Peter mutters.

"No." I agree. "It isn't.

"Well," I begin loudly as Zee enters the common room. "How was your date?" Before she could open her mouth Sirius stands up.

"I have to go." We all watch him leave, as if that wasn't obvious. Remus and Peter stands up so he doesn't look foolish.

"We'll join you." Remus says, while him and Pete follow him up.

"Just me and you huh James." I grin.

"So." I prompt.

"It was bloody horrible." I cock an eye brow. "Well for starters, he was a little forceful and boring. Secondly he's in love with some other girl in Hufflepuff but she doesn't like him so he went out with me. Which I guess I can't say anything about that because I'd be a hypocrite. And thirdly.." She stops.

"Thirdly?"

"He's not Sirius." She says on a sigh.

"Oh Maurie." I pull her forward and wrap an arm around her, she lays her head on my shoulder.

"I will get over him James, I really will." I shake my head in the negative. "I will find a way too James. Nothing is impossible. If I want to do it, I'll do it. Simple as that." She stands up and offers me a smile.

"It will work itself out." I say mimicking Lily's words. She kisses me on the cheek and starts walking towards the girls' dorm.

"Good night Brother." She calls to me.

"Night Sister." I reply with a smile. I head up to my own dorm and slam the door open.

"If you would have stayed." I said looking to Sirius. "You would have learned that she had a horrible time. But instead you choose to make a fool of yourself and make her feel bad at the same time. She probably thinks you hate being in the room with her."

"I'm sure she doesn't James. Remus and Peter came up here so it didn't look strange."

"She's been our best friend for years Padfoot, she's not stupid. She knows exactly what Rem and Pete were doing." He shrugs.

"I don't care who she dates. It's her choice." I sigh and head to my bed, ending the conversation.

Xx

"Sure looks like she had a horrible time." Sirius mutters to me as we pass Maurie and Diggery snogging at the entrance to the great hall. I was shocked. She really did tell me she had a horrible time but yet she's still kissing him?!

As if reading my thoughts Lily says, "She told me last night she accepted another date from him.

"Why?" I ask her incredosouly.

"She said, they had a nice time. They got along well, and had similar interests." If my eyes brows raised anymore they'd be in my hair line. Hadn't she told me her date was horrible. I forced myself to look away from her and not cheat, but I couldn't help it.

In reality, they did get along. But they weren't together because they really liked each other. They were together because it was convenient. They liked each other enough but both of them were in love with some one else. Or so says Maurie. I guess that makes sense but it is also a bit stupid if you ask me.

"Remus." I say sternly. He stops and walks back to me.

"What?"

"If this were the old days then we wouldn't allow our Zee to snog in public, let's go."

"James I don't know she's really- oh okay." He says as I start tugging on his arm.

"James!" Lily yells but I don't listen. I walk up to Zee and Diggery.

"AHEM!" I say loudly. Zee pulls away, and they both stare at me, both red in the face.

"Jimmy, Hey."

"Don't hey Jimmy me. Let's go." I tug on her arm the same way I did Remus and she just sighs in defeat.

"Meet you later?" She calls over her shoulder.

"You sure will." He answers back.

"Alright James, you can let go now." She tells me and Remus sighs and pats her shoulder.

"He's just worried about you is all." Remus walks ahead and Zee and I slow down our pace.

"I know what you're doing." I whisper in her ear. She stiffens but replies back.

"I knew you'd figure it out. It's convenient James. We both know we're in love with someone else so it doesn't bother us."

"Yeah but Maurie-"

"Just let it go James." I look at her face and see how tired she was and I did exactly what she asked for. I let it go.

A few days went by and Zee barley hung out with us anymore. For one Sirius left everytime she entered a room which probably made her upset and when he entered the room she left because she just assumes that he hates her. I just wish it would all be over soon.

"James, where is she?! We have to go!" I shake my head, in truth I had no idea where she was tonight. But she wouldn't miss the full moon for the world.

"Oh hold on let me get the map. Accio Map!" the map zoomed into my waiting hand, and I searched for Zee.

"Aha!" I said spotting her by herself in her favorite spot. "Let's go she's in her spot."

"Alright." Peter answers and we walk towards the astronomy tower.

"She's by herself right?" Sirius asks hesitantly.

"Of course, I wouldn't lie about that." He just shrugs. After about 15 minutes we finally make it to the spot.

"Maurie!" I yell slamming open the door, and stop dead in my tracks. There was my bestfriend, my little sister, laying on top of Diggery. Naked. I hear Sirius stiffen beside me.

"James?" She asks unembarrassed, though I have to say Diggery looks like a tomato.

"We have to go." She gets off of Diggery, not bothering to cover up in front of us and hurriedly turns on her back on us to collect and put on her clothes. She walks over to us and bends down to kiss a startled Diggery on the cheek.

"Finish this later, alright Amos." He nods. "Bye then" She walks out leaving me, Peter and Sirius staring at Diggery. I was fuming.

"Watch your hands Diggery. If I ever walk in on that again," I don't bother thinking of bad things to do to him, I just say simply "I'll kill you." And I turn on my heel on walk out.

"I thought you said she was alone." Sirius snarled.

"She was."


	31. Overheard

I own nothing but my OC'S.

Chapter thirty one- Overheard.

-Xeomara's POV-

"Damn." I say wiping bead of sweat on my head.

"Damn is right." James agrees wiping the blood that was dripping down his arm.

"Moony has been getting restless lately, I wonder what's going on with him." Sirius says, kneading the bruise on his forehead.

"I don't know, but we have to figure it out. I can't keep going through full moons like that." I flinch as James begins wiping my bloody lip with a wet towel.

"Hurt?" I just shrug my shoulders. And take my own wet towel and wipe at the blood on arm, hoping to clean it up so I could heal it.

"Shit." Sirius swears and I turn to see him, looking at a new gash on his back, one we didn't notice before. I jump up and walk towards him.

"Here Sirius let me help you." He looks like he just saw a dead person. He stares at me for a few seconds, and I start to get nervous. "Okay nevermind then." I turn back towards James.

"No." I turn towards Sirius again. "You can help me." I give him a tight smile, and go back over to his back, and start wiping the blood away, he cringes.

"Sorry." I mutter concentrating fully on his cut. After I heal it, I walk over to wormy who is sleeping completely unscratched by the looks of it.

"I don't think he ever get's hurt." I say with a small laugh.

"That's because he's a bloody coward." Sirius says back, a hint of anger in his voice. I roll my eyes at him, and walk back to James bed and lay next to him.

"How's the lip?" He asks, I don't answer him.

"How's the arm?" he just laughs. I lay my head on his shoulder, and my exhaustion takes over.

Xx

"Hey! Hey!" The voice sounds like it's coming through a tunnel. "Wake up!" I roll over, sure that I was dreaming, when I feel a jet of water hit my face.

"Argggh! Dammit Lily!" I say sitting up.

"How'd you know it was me?" She asks with a smile.

"Because you're the only one who does that. James and Sirius just push me off the bed." She mouths an oh.

"She's right, we do." James says walking out of the bathroom, half dressed. "Hello my love." He says pressing a kiss on Lily's lips. I look away.

"I'm going to go get dressed, then to visit Remus. Meet you at charms." I say quickly all but running out of the dorm.

"Hmm, what's got in to her?" I hear Peter say from behind me.

I look in the mirror, and sigh when I look at my fat and split lip, and the little bruise the forming on the side of my eye. I shake it off and hurry to get dressed before Lily comes back in. Once I'm done I race down the steps and out of the common room hoping I don't run into anyone.

"Remus!" I say when I enter the hospital wing. He looks at me and frowns.

"Bad night." We say together, and then share a pained smile. I cringe as the smile hits my lip.

"Sorry." He says noticing it. I wave my hand, sitting next to him.

"Don't worry about it." Then I point to the bite mark obviously made by me on his shoulder. "Sorry about that." He laughs.

"You've been acting up lately. What's going on?" He looks away. "Hey, look at me Moony. What's going on?"

"It's a girl." He finally says, and turn to look back at me, his expression pained.

A small smile tugs at my lips, "Who is it?"

"Jade." My mind starts instantly running over every Jade in our school trying to pick out which one.

"Jade Green?" I ask.

"How'd you know." I smile.

"Good guess?" I say with a shrug.

"She's my partner for patrolling and we talk a lot. And well the last few times, we've been uh we've been-"

"Kissing?" I supply helpfully.

"Yeah, I'm not even sure who it happened. We were talking about something, nothing of importance and then it just happened."

"How long?" I ask unsure.

"Well, since a little after we came back from break."

"What?! Remus that was four months ago! You've been kissing her for four months and haven't said anything?!"

He looks away. "We didn't start kissing then. I _knew_ I liked her then. We kissed only about a month ago. We haven't done anything else since then."

"So you haven't talked about what it means? You just snog?" He nods. "Remmie, she'd be crazy not to like you."

"Look at me Zee, I'm a werewolf. Of course she'd be crazy to like me." I grab his hand.

"No Remus, she'd be crazy not to like who because of the person _you_ are. Not the werewolf. You're smart, funny, good looking, caring. You're a great person Remus. She'll love you." He looks away, and squeezes my hand.

"I think I love her." I smile.

"She's perfect for you Remus." I think about the small seventh year ravenclaw. She was really a sweet person. She was nice to everyone, even certain slytherins. She was tiny, probably my height and delicate looking with light brown hair and hazel eyes. "You'd compliment each other nicely."

A smile now tugs at his lips. "You think so?" I nod,

"I know so." He leans forward and hugs me.

"Where would I be without you?"

"At home, hiding." He laughs at my joke even though we know it's both true.

"So you'll talk to her then?" He looks uneasy. "Please talk to her, one for yourself because you love her and two for us. We're dying at these full moons." He cracks a smile.

"We have patrolling tonight. I'll talk to her then."

"Good." Remus clock beeps.

"Shit. I'm late for Charms!" I start running towards the doors. "Bye Moony!"

"Later Stripes!" He calls after me. "And thanks!" I stop and turn to face him.

"Anytime Remmie, that's what I'm here for." I say as the door swings closed.

"Miss Raes, you are ten minutes late." Flitwick says as I run into the room.

"Sorry sir," I pant. "Hospital wing." I say pointing to my lip and head. "Fell out of bed this morning." His face softens.

"Alright then, I won't take points off." I look around the room for an empty seat. "Take a seat next to Mr. Snape." I walk to the desk in the corner of the room and slam my books down. He looks up and glares at me.

"Was that necessary Raes." I grit my teeth.

"Was you being born necessary." He huffs angrily and looks away. I sit quietly not wanting to get in an argument with him because really me just sitting next to him makes me want to hex him.

"Correct Miss Evans. You really are the brightest witch of the age." Flitwick tells her. I smile in her directions but my smile falls when I hear snape mutter,

"filthy mudblood." I whip my head towards him and say loudly.

"Excuse me snivellous. Care to share with the class what you just said." Everyone turns and looks at me.

"Care to share with the class where you were last night?" I ground my teeth together.

"I'd be happy to share." The boys tense. "I was with Amos last night obviously." I say with a shrug. Suddenly happy that he didn't make it to NEWT Charms.

"Alright enough! I did not want to hear that." Flitwick says to me. I sit down and grin victoriously at snape.

"You can't out smart me slytherin." I snarl.

"How's Remus today?" I squeeze my eyes tightly.

"Want to find out? I'll be happy to send you to the hospital wing." He turns his head away, and shoot a glare at James, who glares right back. When class is dismissed I hurry out of my seat and wait outside the class room door.

"Move." Snape says shoving past me. I clench my teeth in pain as he hits a bruise.

"What were you're going Snivelly." James says. "Nice save." He says grinning at me.

"Well it's the best one I could think of on short notice. I'm just hoping it doesn't get back to Diggery."

"Who care if it does? You were with him last night." I raise an eye brow at her, and she mouths "James." I just nod. "Anyway how's Remus?" I smile.

"Good. He'll be better next full moon."

"How do you know?" Peter asks.

"A master never reveals his secrets." I say heading off to History of Magic.

"Wait! Zee!" I hear behind me, but I just laugh.

Xx

"Just go get the map Maurie, I don't want to come with you. I'm tired off looking."

"James, this is important! If we still had Reg-" I trail off. He nods noticing my blocked off expression.

"Fine, I'll come with you." We head up to the boys dorm, and James opens the door and freezes.

"What is it?" I ask looking around him. I too freeze. Sirius was having sex. Sirius was having sex with that dumb tart. I swallow the lump in my throat."

"James? Xeomara?" he asks pulling his mouth away from Nile.

"Just go get the map James. Don't worry Sirius you'll be alone soon. We didn't mean to interrupt." I walk out, and a few seconds later James follows me down.

"I'm really sorry, I didn't know." I just shrug.

"Who cares, he saw me with Diggery didn't he? He didn't seem to care too much."

"Maurie, I-"

"James, let it go." We walk down the hall ways aimlessly. I stop as I hear a loud moan.

"Why can't people use beds anymore!" James yells incredously.

"You're Head Boy aren't you? Open the damn door." He nods and the door slams open.

"Get back to your dorms you- Remus?" My eye brows raise up as I peer around the door. Remus was indeed there, his shirt half way off. Jade was fully clothed but her hands were the one taking off Remus' shirt.

"Oh, Uh Prongs, Stripes." He says, turning red. He stands and straightens his clothes, and then offers a hand to pull up Jade. She takes it also red in the face. He puts an arm around her waist and pulls her closer leaning down to kiss her forehead. I smile widely.

"James, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend Jade Green." James holds out a hand, and shakes her.

"Hi James." She says with a smile.

"Girlfriend?"

"Hey Jade!" I say pulling her in for a hug, happy that she's decided to be with Remus. She was a little taken aback but still hugged me back.

"Yes James, girlfriend."

"Well I'm assuming you already knew because he didn't introduce you." I shake my head.

"No actually I just gave him a little advice." Jade grins at me.

"Thank you! I was wondering when he was going to show that Gryffindor courage and finally ask me out."

"Yeah Remus is a bit slow in that area. Sorry." I say apologizing for him.

"Alright, we're just going to go." He says pushing past us.

"So this is what you were talking about this morning huh?" I smile, watching the walking down the hall way hand in hand.

"He loves her." James looks startled.

"Does he?" I nod.

"Told me so this morning. I know she will accept him, when he decided to tell her. They're perfect for each other." I look down at the map.

"Just like you and Sirius." I ignore him.

"How do you feel about breaking in to the Slytherin common room?"

Xx

"Alright, ready?" I ask James as we stand outside the slytherin common room. He nods his head and looks down making sure that our feet are covered. "James calm down."

"Lily is going to kill me!"

"Lily is not going to find out! She can't know because we can't tell her about the order!" He nods.

"Look, here he comes." I say pointing to Mucilber. We wait quietly as the door opens and we walk in behind him silently.

"Finally!" Narcissa says impatiently. I give a start when I notice my cousin sitting beside her.

"Sorry, I got held up by the werewolf." James and I stiffen.

"Oh who cares about the damn Half blood. We've got bigger things to worry about." Snape says.

"It's going closer to the time. We have to be ready."

"We'll be ready." Malfoy says. "We have 10 days to prepare."

"Yeah but the Dark Lord doesn't want any mistakes." Snape says.

"How could we possibly mess up! The death eaters are coming here!" my eyes widen. They're coming here? To Hogwarts?

"Yes, as if we didn't know that Avery. You are so dense." Bella says. "We have to be ready to fight for him."

"What if we get expelled?" Snape asks.

"Get expelled?! Are you a death eater or not Snape! Don't be thick! You should fight and serve your master!" Bella yells.

"Fine. So ten days?" Everyone shares a grin.

"Ten Days." Bella says with the largest grin. We wait for another ten minutes as they all walk up to the staircase. I grab James' hand and we run out of the common room.

I rip of the cloak. "Dumbledore!" I tell him.

"Wait! We need to get Sirius! This was his job too!"

"Dammit!" I snarl and change directions sprinting for the tower.

"Sirius!" I yell as we enter the dorm. He notices my expression and looks up from Nile.

"What is it? James? Zee?"

"We need you!" I yell. He looks towards Nile. "Sirius please!" I beg. He hops up and grabs his clothes.

"I have to go."

"If you leave here, we're through." She says pouting.

"Fine, get out!" he yells and runs after us down the steps. I couldn't help the happiness that filled me.

We fill him in as we sprint towards the headmaster's office. I start screaming different types of candy and when it finally opens I bang on his door.

"Professor! Professor!"

"Come in." He says and we burst through the door.

"What is it Miss Raes."

"Death Eaters! Coming to Hogwarts." He stands up.

"When?"

"Ten days. I overheard it. Just now, me and James."

"How exactly." He asks curiously. Not bothering to lie, I say

"Snuck into slytherin common room." He smiles widely.

"Impressive."

We all take our seats.

"You're sure."

"Yes sir." James says.

"They're talking about fighting as well." I supply then look towards him. "I'm helping you." He looks up sharply.

"No, you are a student Xeomara. I will not permit it." I stand up quickly.

"I need this sir! I deserve it! Let me fight!" He looks at me in wonder before and it's silent for a few minutes.

"You may fight Xeomara. I believe you are indeed ready." I sigh in relief. "But only you."

"What?!" James asks. "We're not allowed?"

"No James, Sirius. You will not be allowed."

"But sir, I can't let her go by herself! It will drive me crazy!" James yells. He thinks about if for a moment.

"I will allow you to stand at the doors to the school. And if we need help, or if Xeomara asks for you, you may join in. That way you can watch. Understood?"

"Fine." He grumbles.

"You may leave, but I will call you three in my office over the next few days to advise a plan."

"Thank you sir." He nods.

"Good bye then."


	32. Death Eaters at Hogwarts

I own nothing by my OC's.

Chapter thirty two- Death Eaters at Hogwarts.

Over the next 10 days, we had been meeting in Dumbledore's office almost every night. The plan was finished and know all we could do was wait. Dumbledore had a curfew set for 6 tonight so that the other students wouldn't be wondering around the hall ways. I had broken up with Diggery, well it was more of we broke up with each other because we decided we couldn't allow this to go on anymore. But we ended as good friends.

We haven't told anyone of our friends about what we going to happen, even though Dumbledore said we could. We were waiting until tonight I guess. Because if they knew before they'd want to go as well but we couldn't allow that.

After six that evening we were sitting in the common room.

"James? Sirius? Zee? What is the matter with you three, you've been as pale as death all week. But tonight.." She trails off.

My right hand started shaking and I knew now was a good as ever to tell her. I had to be at my position in ten minutes anyway.

"We don't have a lot of time to explain so don't interrupt." I say quickly and quietly.

"There is an organization that Dumbledore founded it's called the-"

"Order of The Phoenix." Remus says. I give him a sharp look. "My mother's in it." I nod.

"That's right. Well James, Sirius, and I were asked to join last Christmas of our six year. We didn't tell you guys because we weren't allowed. We aren't official member's but we've been given the job to watch the slytherin students to make sure nothing was going on." The nod all of them looking nervous.

"Ten days ago, Zee and I broke into the slytherin common room and we overheard them saying that the death eaters were coming to Hogwarts."

"Wait." Remus interrupts. "Coming here?" I nod.

"And we're going to fight."

"No, Zee is going to fight." Sirius interrupts sourly.

"No." Lily says standing up.

"Yes." I say just as angrily. "I'm going, and so are James and Sirius. They are going to be guarding the doors to make sure no one enters the school. And you two." I say pointing to Remus and Lily "will be patrolling the school."

Lily glares down at me, and I glare back. "Don't even try stopping me."

"I'm coming with you." She says standing her ground.

"Lily I will hex you so you can't walk if you even try following me. Do you understand me? I didn't tell you for this exact reason! If it was up to me James and Sirius wouldn't be going either. Do you think I want any of you to get hurt?!"

"Do you think we want you to get hurt?" I turn my head away.

"I don't have a choice."

"Whether you like it or not I'm joining after I graduate." Remus says. "I don't care if you never talk to me again. I'll still join." I smile thinking of Sirius and how he said about the same thing.

"Acutally Dumbledore asked for you. But the job you would be doing…" I trail off.

"I'd be working with Werewolves." He answers.

"Yes." I look at my watch and sigh.

"We have to go." Lily stops glaring at me and throws herself on me.

"Be careful please!" She begs her eyes watering. I hug her back.

"I'll be fine."

"I love you." She tells me. "Remember that."

"I love you too." I turn so she could hug Sirius and James and I turned to Remus.

"Don't tell Lily but I want you to be there with me." He hugs me tightly.

"I want to be there with you." I hug him tightly, breathing in his scent. I could feel that something was going to happen tonight but I don't know what. And I know it wasn't good. "I love you." He whispers to me. I cling tightly, as I whisper "I love you too." I exchange the same good bye's with Peter as we leave the common room.

"Hold down the fort!" I yell over my shoulder. As we walk through the halls silently James and Sirius both grab my hands.

"You ready?" Sirius asks.

"I was born ready." I reply with a tight smile. We reach the doors to entrance. I look around at the spot where Dumbledore informed us that various Order members would be. I see Luna and she gives a tight smile and waves. I nod back, not wanting to give her position away just in case we were being watched.

We waited for a good twenty minutes and I was starting to get restless wondering if they'd ever come. As soon as I thought that I saw a flicker of movement behind the gates. I noticed the black cloaks.

"They're here." I point my wand, and mutter "Expecto Patrnum." I send message to Dumbledore like he instructed me to do. In no less than five minutes just as the Order member started coming out of hiding Dumbledore appears beside me.

"Are you ready Xeomara." I nod. "Lets go." I squeeze the boys' hands before letting them go briefly. We head out and the second the death Eaters notice us, one screams out,

"Dumbledore!" and all hell breaks loose. "They knew! They knew!" More scream as the order member jump out from the hiding spots. I turn and head into battle, my wand raised shooting curses quickly.

-Sirius' POV-

"Dammit." I curse and watch as Zee shoots off curses faster than I can blink. I watch as she spots Malfoy and the other students.

"Ah, Raes, I shouldn't be surprised to find you here." She smiles wickedly.

"You should know Malfoy. That I am the reason the order members are here." He stalls.

"But how? How could you have known." She gives him a nod as he realizes what she did.

"Damn you!" He yells shooting a hex. She blocks it quickly and fires another back.

"Leave her Lucius! I will take her on!" Bella screams and runs forward. Zee barks out a loud laugh as she twirls her wand around dueling with expertise.

"Don't make me laugh Bella!" she finally says and she successfully stuns malfoy. Bella then jumps into to duel with her as does her sister Narcissa.

James breathes heavily beside me. "I can't take this anymore!"

"Quiet James!" I say as I watch Zee wand slashing through the air quickly as she blocks and sends out various spells, with a twirl of her wand she blast out a spell I've never seen before. Purple shoots out of the tip and both of my cousins fly back unconscious.

Without waiting for anyone else she does the same curse again and knocks out the remaining slytherins at the same time.

"Wow." I say impressed. She levitates all the bodies and ties them together. After she gathers all their wands she looks towards me and James. She ties them in them together as well and send them our way. I catch them in my hand and nod at her.

"Look out!" I yell to her as a large death eater flings a curse at her. She turns quickly and deflects the spell making the death eater stumble a bit.

"Impressive, little Xeomara." She stops as he says her name.

"Who are you?" He grins at her from behind the mask.

"I'm not surprised you don't remember me. But I should warn you of why we are here."

"Go on." She tells him fingering her wand, as if she's not bothered that he has his pointing at her chest.

"We've come to get you." She stops dead.

"All of this." She gestures around with her hands. I follow it and look around seeing various death eaters and order member dueling. Many bodies lay on the floor from both sides, and I noticed some running away, only to be pulled back. Loud shouts and screams were echoing through. "For me?" she finishes with a laugh.

"You have great talent Little one. Our master would love to have you." I watch as she stiffens and I know she's getting mad. Her eyes turn electric blue and she clenches her jaw.

"Well Voldemort better keep dreaming. I will never. I repeat NEVER! Join his side." The death eater steps closer.

"You dare speak his name." She grins.

"You are pathetic." She tells him. "You are following around someone that can't even do what he wants for himself. You are nothing but a pawn in his little game. It makes me sick."

"I am not a pawn you insolent little girl. I am one of his most prized death eaters!" She snorts.

"A pawn then." She concludes. "And you're quite naïve for your age. Honestly, you make me fucking sick." She repeats.

"How dare you!" he screams throwing curses at her. She duels back their wands flashing, she was twirling and blocking curses as fast as she was sending them. They both stop out of breath.

"Don't you know who I am yet? I'm surprised I thought you were smarter than that." Her lip twitches, and she stares at him.

"Let me give you a hint." He says and points to where we're standing and laughs madly.

Recognition crosses her face. "Damn you!" She says.

He laughs madly. "So you've figured it out have you? Yes it was me I killed your friends parents. I came here hoping to finish them off as well." James stiffens beside me and I put a hand on his arm. He takes off his mask and then I recognize him as well.

"They're not my friends!" She yells.

"Oh they're not are they?" He says still laughing at her.

"They haven't since I killed Regulus." That was when I knew she was lying to him. Because we all knew she didn't kill Regulus. "Don't you know anything? I thought you were his right hand man."

"You killed-" She grins.

"Of course I did. And Sirius well he couldn't stand the fact that I killed his brother. We broke up. And James," she turns and glares at us to add the effect. "Well he took his side." She spat out.

"I don't believe you." He says uncertainly. I knew she was trying to save us but when she glared at me, it almost felt real.

"Ask them, go on."

"You two wouldn't be here, if you weren't her friends!" He yelled over to us. I stand straighter and glare at him.

"So you think we don't want to be here, it doesn't matter if we hate each other. All that matter is that we hate the same person." When he looks at me. I say, "Voldemort." He glares.

"Wait until I see your mother you brat!" He turns his glare on Zee, "I still don't believe you. Maybe this will prove if they hate you or not." He raises his wand. "CRUCIO!" I manage to hold my spot as I watch Zee twitch on the ground. She didn't even scream. He lifts the curse and smiles.

"You're not a screamer are you?" She glares at him and starts getting up. "You'd really make the perfect death eater. Are you sure you don't want to join?" She shakes her head.

"Very well, then CRUCIO!" he yells again and glares at us the whole time. James stiffens and he moans in pain.

"She's hurting Sirius!" he says impatiently. I looked to him wondering if he was feeling her pain. He looked like he was, he was white as ghost and his jaw was clenched, his breathing heavy again.

"You can't do anything James, because then he'd know."

"He hasn't lifted the curse yet." He says. "Sirius dammit! It's been 3 minutes!"

I watch growing restless, it was then when it almost reached five minutes that she began to scream.

"DUMBLEDORE! DUMBLEDORE!" I ground my teeth together wanting nothing more than to cry as I heard her screaming. I look to where Dumbledore was dueling two death eaters. He looked at her for a quick second and put out more force, the one death eater got knocked out and he stunned the other one. But then another death eater came up on his side, and more and more kept coming. I knew he wasn't going to make it too her. I step forward just as he takes off the curse.

She was laying there breathing heavily, panting loudly. He laughed.

"I knew I could make you scream." He points his wand at her.

"Zee!" I yell. He looks up and smiles.

"Avada Kedevra!" The second the words shot from his mouth Zee rolled over, the curse narrowly missing her. She looked up from where she was laying at the stunned death eater.

"INCARCEROUS!" She yells and ropes shoot out of her wand. She stands up shakily. I could tell she was running on pure adrenaline.

He smirks at her, "What are you going to do stun me?" She laughs harshly, not sounding like her at all.

"You killed my parents!" She yelled.

"I did not kill your parent's your parents are-"

"They are not my parents! Mine are dead!" She yelled again jabbing her wand in the air.

"What are you going to do then, little one?"

"I would have thought that we be obvious, Christopher." She says using his first name. "I'm going to kill you." Her eyes were electric blue again and he cringes.

"You wouldn't." He says nervously.

"I would."

"she's going to do it." I whisper to James, who looks murderous.

"Xeomara!" I hear a voice yell, and I turn to see Dumbledore finishing off the last of the death eaters. She raises her wand higher.

"AVADA-" She stops, and I see her hand shaking.

"She was never going to do it Sirius." James says, at the same time she screams,

"STUPEFY!" The death eater falls to the ground as does she.

"Zee!" I say running forward. I kneel down beside her as Dumbledore and James reach us.

"It's over he announces." I look to see that various death eaters, were being tied up and being apparited to the ministry. "How long." He asks looking at me.

"6 minutes." I say closing my eyes and picking her lifeless body up in my arms. His expression closes off. "Sir, is she going to be okay." He doesn't answer. He turns to stare at James."

"James, What do you think? Cheat." He tells him. James raises his eye brows completely shocked and focusing on Zee. He stiffens and his expression turns murderous again.

"Nothing." Dumbledore closes his eyes. I close my own to but open them as I hear a shout from James.

"YOU!" he screams. "You did this! You killed my Parents! You hurt Zee! I'll kill you, you good for nothing bastard!" I look to see, the death eater awake, I guess Zee didn't have much power when she stunned him.

"Going to kill me Potter?" he asks with a grin.

James raises his wand. "AVADA KED-"

"NO!" Zee screams and touches James back from where she was in my arms. I looked down surprised. James softens under her touch. She kept her hand firmly on his back. He raises his wand again.

"Stupefy!" The death eater was knocked out again. Zee's hand went limp.

James turns around, his expression closed as he kisses her forehead.

"Get her to the hospital wing Sirius." Dumbledore says.

We head in the direction of the hospital wing, when I hear a shout from behind me.

"James! Sirius!" Lily and Remus run towards us and Lily kisses James, but she stands still not moving.

"James?" She asks again. Then she notices Zee. "What happened." I stare at her wondering if I should tell her.

"She was put on the cruciatus curse for 6 minutes." Lily's knee buckles from under her as she lets out a loud scream. Remus catches her, and looks towards me.

"But Sirius, if she-"

"Don't." I warn. "Don't say it." I knew what would could happen when she woke up, if she wakes up, but I didn't want to believe any of it.

"Same as last time?" Remus asks, as we stand by Zee's bed.

I nod. "Peter will go first then me, Lily, James, then you Sirius." Remus tells us. I nod again, and kiss Zee's forehead, I turn on my heel leaving my friends in the hospital wing. I love her, was the only thought I could process. I love her.


	33. I Need You

I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter thirty three- I Need You.

-Lily's POV-

I stare at the ceiling from where I'm laying in James' bed. I've barely moved from this spot all week. Ever since we left the hospital wing on that horrible night the only time we left was to shit with Zee when it was our shift. I was getting nervous, a week was a long time. A very long time. James was in bad shape, he hasn't muttered a single word since it happened, he hasn't even cried. I tried talking to him, I tired getting him to eat or say something but he wouldn't and it scared me. But Sirius, he is what scared me more. He woke every single night screaming at the top of his lungs. The sound of his screams broke me. The first few nights I didn't say anything because I didn't know if he'd want me to but by the fourth night I couldn't take it. I got out of my bed and walked over to him. He was curled up in a ball crying. And when I saw him crying it made me cry too. I've never seen him cry before and to see Sirius who you would think would never cry was never scared, actually cry. Well it was horrible.

"_Sirius." I say softly, not wanting to wake up anyone. He looks up at me, and tries to wipe away his tears. "No." I tell him. "it's okay to cry." He looks up and lets more tears loose. "Move over." He moves over and I pull him into my arms as he cried._

"_Why did you scream?" I say curiously. "He looks up after he calmed down."_

"_I keep seeing it. That night. I can't get it out of my head." I look down._

"_I wish I was there." I told him. _

"_No, you don't." I look away. "If you want to see it go ahead." I look up to him. "Read my mind."_

"_Your sure?" He nods. I point my wand at his forehead, and mutter the spell. A bunch of memories come flooding into my mind but I force it away and find the one I was looking for. I watched in horror as she screamed Dumbledore's name and just plain screaming. When I was pushed out, I heard another scream._

"_Shh Lily. I shouldn't have showed you that. I'm sorry." It was then that I realized the screaming was me. I calmed down and hugged him tightly._

"_No." I said. "I wanted to see it."_

I think back to that night a few days ago and stifle a sob.

"Lily?" Remus says walking in the dorm. He touches my shoulder and I turn to look at him. "You okay?" I nod. "Well it's your turn." I get up and walk out of the room, taking James' cloak from Remus.

On my way to the hospital wing I can't help but think about how Remus was handling it. It must have been hard to be the soul group supporter, he was the one taking care of us. Trying to make us eat food, trying to get us up. He even got all of our homework from the teachers. We were permitted not to go to class until she woke up. I feel bad that Remus has to do this but I'm grateful for him. Without him, we would all be nothing.

"Zee." I plead again for the twentieth time. "Please, please wake up." I say as the tears roll off my face and onto her cold stiff hand. "We need you." Nothing happens.

"Zee please!" I say crying harder. "Please!" Still nothing. I lay my head down on her stomach and sob. The tears roll down my face at a fast pace. I needed my friend. I needed her. She was the only friend I had besides the boys. She was my family. How would I ever get along without her.

I give her one this kiss, before my shift ends and I walk back to get James.

"James." I say shaking his shoulder. He looks up at me, and I cringe at the look in his eye. He stands up and without another word, grabs the cloak and leaves. Before I lay down a scream echoes in the room. I know everyone heard it but I don't think they had it in them to go to Sirius, but I did.

I run over to him and shake his shoulder as he continues to scream. "Sirius! Sirius!" I yell over his screams. "Wake up!" his screams stop and his eye cracks open.

"Lily?" he asks.

"It's me." He sighs, and reaches for my hand. I take it and squeeze it. "Let's get out of here." I tell him. "I could use some tea, and I think you could too." He nods and stands up. I hold his cold hand in mine wondering who's hand was colder his or Zee's.

When we reach the kitchens the house elves aren't they're usual happy selves. They knew about "Mistress Raes" and were just as sad was we were. We sat down at the table quietly as I sipped my tea. He wiped a tear off his cheek, and sipped his also.

"What if she doesn't wake up?" he asks me suddenly.

"I don't know Sirius." I say truthfully.

"I need her." He moans into his hands. "I need her." Tears roll down my cheeks as I watch him sob.

"She doesn't know that I love her." He cries.

"She does know. She has to know." I tell him softly.

"No Lily, she thinks I hate her." He says finally able to breathe again. "She's it for me. She's all I ever wanted. I need her to wake up Lily. I miss her, I miss her smile, and her laugh. If she doesn't wake up I don't know what I'd do."

"You'd be okay." I tell him evenly.

"No. I wouldn't." He says shaking his head.

"We'd help you Sirius. We'd get through it together." He shakes his head again.

"No, you don't get it." He says.

"What don't I get?" I question him.

"I won't be Sirius without her." I stifle a sob, thinking about how much he loves her, but I give in and sob into my hands. He joins me on the bench wrapping his arms around me as we both cry.

"She will wake up, she has to!"

Xx

-James' POV-

I stare at my best friend. No, not just my best friend but my sister. My other half. What would I be without her? She was who I turned to when I needed help. I didn't even have to say anything she just knows. She always knows. We've talked about how we could hear each other thoughts and we came up with the same option. That we were literally soul mates. It surprised me that Dumbledore figured it out, we never told anyone we didn't even know if it was possible. When she was being tortured I couldn't let her be in pain alone so I slipped into her mind and her pain was my pain. I could feel how hard she was fighting and it killed me. Then afterwards when Dumbledore had me try and read her I came up blank. It was nothing but a white wall. Even know when I try, nothing happens.

She means the word to me. How could I ever get over it if she didn't wake up, or if she wakes up mental. I knew the possibilities if she wakes up there is a chance that she won't have a memory. She won't be anything but an empty shell. Could I handle that? How could I handle that?

Lily was worried about me, I could tell. I haven't said a single word since waking up, not even to Maurie. We were told that if we talked to her that maybe she'd recognize our voices and wake up. But I couldn't make my mouth form words. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't eat. Hell most of the time I couldn't sleep.

I could hear my best friend screaming in his sleep and I wanted to help him, but I couldn't. It killed me to hear his scream but what could I do? I couldn't even go to sleep myself without dreaming about it. Lily would get up every night and help him. Last night when I got back Lily informed me that they went to the kitchens together, that they had to leave. I wanted to leave to; I wanted to be anywhere but here, staring at her unresponsive body.

It was now that I wished that I would have killed the bastard. No he deserved so much more than death. So much more. I lean forward and squeeze her hand before walking out of the hospital wing.

"James." I look up from the ground and see Dumbledore standing there. I opened my mouth but let it close. "Were you visiting Xeomara?" I just manage a nod. "James, have you talked to her yet?" I shake my head no.

He stares at me for a few seconds, before saying. "You should talk to her. You never know what could happen." He says with a twinkle in his eyes before walking away. I stare after him, wondering what he could mean by that. I shake my head, it probably was nothing, just one of his meaningless riddles.

Xx

-Peter's POV-

It's been two weeks since the accident, or so we've taken to calling it. Two weeks since I've heard Zee's laugh or seen her smile. I stare down at her wondering why it had to be her, why out of every one there was she the only one who was like this. After all she's been through in her life it was her who got hurt, her who has been unconscious for two bloody weeks. Anger flooded through me as it has been since it happened. When they came to common room to get me, it felt like I couldn't even breathe. Zee was a huge part of the marauders. The most important person in our lives. She was the one who helped us, who made sure we were okay. Without her here, it was Remus who had to take on her job. I hated watching him try so hard. I've never seen someone try as hard as him. He tried smiling and cracking jokes to make us laugh. Sometime it worked, he even had Lily and Sirius smiling yesterday. But not James, I really wish he would just talk. Or do something to let us know he was okay. Lily was in tears every time she looked at him. She couldn't even be next to him anymore. Instead of sleeping with James, she slept with Sirius, who woke up screaming every night. I hated hearing him scream. He always seemed so invincible to me. Him and Lily have become really close, and Sirius is getting very dependent on her. He is hurting badly and I wished that I was laying here instead of her. Everything would be different if I was. If only I could trade places with her.

"Xeomara." I say using her full name. "Wake up! This isn't funny. We all need you. Padfoot's a mess, James doesn't speak, Lily spends most of her time crying, and Remus is trying to take on your job. He's trying to support everyone."

"And yourself?" I hear a voice say behind me.

"Remus." I say acknowledging him as I wipe a tear off my cheek. I didn't even notice I was crying.

"What about you Peter, how are you doing?" I turn my head away as another tear rolls down my cheek.

"Bad, I'm angry Remus." I clench my teeth together.

"I'm angry too. It's okay to be angry Peter." I stand up, not wanting to talk about it anymore.

"It's your watch." I say shoving past him, when I hit the hall way I'm running and I don't look back.

Xx

-Remus' POV-

"You need to let yourself grieve too!" Jade yells at me as we patrol the hallways in place of Lily and James who could barely stand anymore.

"I need to make sure everyone is okay." She grabs my arm and forces me to face her.

"That is not your job Remus! You are supposed to be helping each other! You can't act like you're okay. Because you are not okay Remus, you're not!" she says loudly.

"I am okay." I say.

"You're not okay Remmie." I stiffen at the nickname, that's what Zee calls me. And for the first time in two weeks, a tears rolls down my cheeks, followed by another one, and another one, until my breath catches and I can't breathe. Jade pulls me in her arms and squeezes me tightly.

"Zee calls me that." I cried.

"Shh." She tells me, rubbing my back. "It will be okay Remus."

"What if it isn't?"

"She'll wake up, she is the strongest person I know. She'll wake up."

"You don't understand." I say, and then I start babbling. "She's been there for me through everything. When she found out I was a werewolf she almost cursed Sirius because she thought he was digusted, when Amy found out I was one she beat her up even though he had a dislocated shoulder it was- What?" I say noticing the expression on her face. I run over everything I just told her and freeze. I just admitted that I was a werewolf. I was so comfortable with her that I didn't even notice. I take a step back, and then another. She reaches out and grabs my hand.

"I already knew." She says with a smile. "I figured it out, we've been patrolling partners since the beginning of this year, did you think I wouldn't figure out that you couldn't patrol every full moon. I'm a ravenclaw Remus, I pick up on little things and details."

"W-why didn't you tell me?" she gripped my hand tighter.

"I was waiting until you would tell me. I don't care what you are Remus. You could have webbed feet, and tentacles for all I care. I _love _you Remus. Not who you become once a month." I stare at her in surprise. Did she just say-

"Yes, you heard me. I love you." A tears rolls down my cheek, and one rolls down hers' as well.

"But I'm a monster." She steps closer.

"I don't care."

"I could hurt you."

"I'd heal."

"I could kill you."

"I'd die happy.

"No, Jade I mean it, what if I make a mistake and I kill you."

"You won't make a mistake, and if you did well it's okay because I want to be with you." She takes another step closer.

"We leave Hogwarts in two weeks, you'd be shunned. No one here knows but everyone out there-"

"I don't care what people think Remus. I care about you, and only you."

"What about your parents?" I ask her.

"My parents will love you, because I do."

"But you're beautiful, and I'm rugged and have scars. I'm not someone you want to be with." A smile tugs at her lips.

"You Remus John Lupin are very good looking, the scars make you even cuter. It shows how brave you are. And you are brave. And Kind. And smart. Why can't you just accept that I love you and say it back already!" She finishes with a yell.

I stare down at Jade, and look into her beautiful hazel eyes. I knew for a fact that I loved this girl more than anything and this just made me love her more. She accepted who I was and still wanted to be with me.

"You." I say reaching my hand up and brushing her brown hair off her face, "Are an angel. You're _my _angel." She lets a tear slip out of her eye. "And, I love you too." I say against her lips. Then I close the little space left between us and kiss her.

I drop Jade off at the Ravenclaw common room and walk towards the hospital wing. When I enter I stare down at her, and smile.

"You were right." I say, a tear slipping down my cheek. "You're always right. She loves me Zee, and she's knows what I am." I grip her cold hand tightly.

"I need you. Who is going to reassure me and keep me together? You've always been there for me. How could I get through my life without you there?" She gives no response. I sit there quietly for the rest of the time, just watching her chest rise and fall. Just that gives me the most reassurance. At least she's still alive, I tell myself.

I'm just about to enter the common room, when Dumbledore approaches me.

"Remus." He says his eyes tired.

"Hello Professor."

"I have so bad news." My mind immediately races the thought of her being dead. "No Mr. Lupin Xeomara is still alive." I sigh in relief. "But if she doesn't wake up by tomorrow night I have no choice but to send her to St. Mungo's."

"But sir, she hates-"

"I know she does Remus. But she will be under better care there." I look down. "I'm leaving it up to you to tell the others." I nod.

"You are a good friend Mr. Lupin." He says as he walks away.

I enter the dorm and when I do I light the lamps. Lily and Sirius sit up from where they were laying on his bed, James' cracks an eye open and Peter too sits up.

"Dumbledore told me that if she doesn't wake up by tomorrow night that he's sending her to St. Mungo's." I barely get the words out of my mouth as Lily lets out a loud sob. The sound of her cry echoes through the room and I slump my shoulders in defeat. She had to wake up. She just had too!

Xx

-Xeomara's POV-

I heard various different voice, different conversations, and different sounds. They're all familiar too me, but I can barely make anything out. I don't know what they're saying or who they are but I still know them. I can feel that I know them. I can feel their presences there holding my hand, kissing my forehead, but I will myself to move. In all the sea of voice I haven't heard the one voice I'm waiting to hear the one voice that I needed to hear. I've felt him there, I know I have. I don't know how long I've waited for the voice, and I don't know if it will ever come.

Suddenly the waves break and I heard words clearly for the first time.

"Maurie." The voice says. "I need you." The door slams closed and my eyes blink open.

_James._


	34. I'm here now

I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter thirty four- I'm Here Now.

-Sirius' POV-

Lily gave me a kiss on the cheek, as I got up to go visit Zee. James had just come back and he's still as silent as ever. I know it's killing Lily, because the one I love is silent too and it's sure as hell killing me.

Remus had just told us that if she didn't wake up by tomorrow night that she'd be sent to St. Mungo's. That means they don't think she's waking up. But she had to wake up, she just had too. I know if she didn't that I'd still have my friends and Lily who I now thought as my sister. We've grown closer over this whole experience and I can finally see what Prongs has been bragging about for years. She really is a great person. I think that if I had her to help me I might come out of this alive. Well half alive.

She has no idea how much she means to me, I regret so much. I wish I never yelled at her and blamed her for Regulus' death and I wish I didn't act like I didn't care when Diggery asked her out. I should have told her I loved her sooner. I should have told her I loved her after she risked her life for my brother. I should have never let her go. No, I corrected myself I should have listened to her when she tried to tell me she wasn't cheating on her. I was so stupid and I wasted so much unnecessary time with my damn pride. I almost hate myself for this. I do hate myself for it, because if she wakes up and doesn't remember me or anyone else. I couldn't handle it.

I creak open the door slowly and slowly make my way over to her bed.

"Sirius." Someone croaks. I glance my head up sharply. That wasn't Zee I was hearing things. I had to be. I walk to her bead quickly and glance down. Her blue eyes were staring back at me. My knees give away and I fall on them. Those blue eyes, the ones I thought I would never see again. Tears leak out of my eyes, and then before I know it I'm sobbing loudly. She really was alive, she wasn't dying on me. And she knew who I was. She wasn't lifeless she was Zee. My Zee.

"Say it again." I say looking up at her.

"Sirius." I choke off another sob.

"Say it again."

"Sirius." She laughs, and I close my eyes as it bounces off the walls. That sounds, it was the most beautiful thing to me. "Why do I keep saying your name?"

"Because you remember me." She smiles and my heart clenches.

"Of course I remember you."

"I need to make sure you still have your memory."

"Okay.." she trails off.

"What does James call you?"

"Mauire." She answers.

"What is your animagus form?"

"A tiger."

"How old are you?"

"18."

"What is your-"

"Sirius." She stops me with a hand on my shoulder. "I remember everything."

"Even the bad stuff." I ask, as I stand up and take the chair next to her bed.

"Even the bad stuff." I was quiet for a moment.

"I thought you wouldn't wake up. I thought you left me."

"Wake up?" I glance up in shock.

"You don't remember what happened then?"

"Not exactly." She says. "I remember the fight and then almost killing the guy, and then I know I was passed out but I could somehow hear James about to kill the death eater. I stopped him, then all I remember is feeling people and hearing them talk sometimes but I couldn't talk back." A tear falls from her eye. "It was scary, I couldn't exactly hear what they were saying but I knew they were talking and I couldn't make myself talk back." She starts crying harder.

"You were in a coma. We didn't know if you were going to wake up. You were asleep for 2 weeks. It was the longest 2 weeks of my life."

"2 weeks? Oh my-" her words get cut off as she sobs loudly. I reach down and hug her. She squeezes me back lightly.

"It's okay, you're here now. And that's all the matters." She stops crying and sits back.

"How is everyone? Was anyone else hurt?"

"Everyone is terrible. James won't talk he hasn't said a word since it happened, Lily cries all the time, Remus is trying to hold everyone together, and Peter is picking fights with anything that moves. It's bad." She looks down. "I'm not doing so good either." She looks back up.

"Sirius I'm-"

"Don't apologize. I knew what you were doing when you said we weren't your friends. You were trying to save us, and I should have done something I shouldn't have stood there. So I'm sorry."

"Yeah but-"

"No! Don't interrupt me I have something to say and I want you to listen." She nods. "I've been so stupid, so, so, stupid. I should have listened to you when you said you weren't cheating on me. I shouldn't have blamed Regulus' death on you and I shouldn't have broken things off with you. I knew I loved you the whole time but I waited, I felt like I needed to get things on track first. Then when you went out with Diggery well I acted like a jealous arsehole, and snogged the first girl I came across. And during this whole week all I kept thinking about is how you thought I hated you when in reality I felt the opposite. I really am in love with you, so much. You don't understand how much you mean to me. I told Lily that I didn't know what I'd do without you. She said that I would be fine but the truth is I wouldn't be fine, I told Lily something and I meant it. I wouldn't be me without you." She looks up at me and cracks a smile.

"I wouldn't be me without you either." I sit back and breathe a sigh of relief. "Sirius?" I look back down.

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"I've waited so long to hear that again." I say squeezing her hand.

"Sirius." She says again.

"Yes love."

"I don't want you to tell them I'm awake."

"Why not?"

She grins at me, that grin I love so much and says, "I've got a plan."

Xx

Zee walks into the bathroom at the usual time when everyone comes down the hospital wing to check on her. I put my head in my hands, as the door opens.

"Sirius?" I hear Remus ask. I don't lift my head from my shoulders. "Where is Zee." I don't answer, but a smile breaks out on my face. "Sirius!" Remus yells.

"They took her!" I hear Lily sob. "Zee!" She yells.

"Yes?" The sobbing stops dead and I turn around and grin. Zee walked out of the bathroom with a wide smile on her face. I looked first to Lily who had her mouth hanging open, to Remus who was smiling, and to Peter who finally got the chip off his shoulder. But when I looked at James, nothing had changed. He still had the same cut off expression.

"Zee!" Lily yells again and throws herself at Zee. "Don't ever do that to me again! I missed you so much!" She cried hugging her tightly.

"I promise I won't." I walk towards the group as Lily let's go and Peter hugs her.

"Oh Peter." Zee sighs as Peter starts to cry.

"I-I missed you so much. It wasn't the same." She kisses his cheek and smiles at him.

"Don't hog her Peter, hand her here." Remus says. Remus grabs her quickly from Peter and hugs her tightly. He doesn't let go off her and I strain to hear the conversation.

"I love you Xeomara, please please, never put me through that again. I wouldn't be able to handle it next time." He says as he breaks down in tears.

"Shh Remmie, it's alright. I love you too."

"Hey don't kill my girlfriend! I just got her back." I take Zee in my arms bridal style and for the first time since Christmas I kiss her. He mouth parts and my tongue meets her. And I couldn't help but think that this was the best feeling in the entire world and nothing would ever beat this. I pull my mouth away from her reluctantly and put her down in bed.

"I take you to are back together." Remus say walking over.

"It's about time." Lily says.

"Agreed." Peter chimes in. I look to see Zee staring at James who had yet to say a word. She gets up slowly and starts to walk towards him.

"Jimmy." She says, his face breaks and his lower lip trembles. "Jimmy don't cry."

"Maurie." He says and she throws herself at him, as they both sob and starting muttering incoherently to each other between kisses. I had no idea what they were saying but they knew. I didn't even care that they kissed on lips, because I knew that they would never had what we had. And I would never have with her what they had together. Tears rolled down my cheeks at them being together, and I looked to see that my other friends were crying too. He really does need her.

-Xeomara's POV-

James brings his lips down and kisses me in a brotherly fashion, I kiss him back. "I love you." I sob.

"I love you too." He kisses me again. "Don't you ever do that to me again do you understand me."

"I won't. I promise." I stare into his hazel eyes and he stares back at me.

"I heard you." I didn't say it out loud my I knew he heard.

"You were what woke me up; I was waiting for your voice James." He stifles out a sob and then I hear his voice in own head.

"I'm sorry I took so long."

"Don't be." I say out loud. "Never be sorry, I would never be mad at you. Ever."

"I know, I know." He sobs. I reach forward and kiss the tears off his cheek.

"Stop crying because I can't stop if you don't." I say with a laugh, he laughs too and I sigh in relief and hug him."It's okay James, I'm here now."

Finally both of tears melt away and we were just left hugging each other. I lean up and kiss him again.

"Okay, look I put up with the other hundred kisses but if you kiss my girl on the lips again Potter I will take that beautiful red head off your hands!" Sirius says playfully. I laugh and turn to see Lily and him standing arm in arm, both wiping tears off their cheeks. James swings me up and carries me to bed.

"Stay." He orders. "You need to relax so you can get better."

"Yes Dad!" I say with a salute. He rolls his eyes at me.

"I thought I'd never see you smile again." Lily says, I reach forward and grab her hand.

"That pathetic death eater, he'd never been the end of me!" I say confidently.

"Still the same." Remus mutters under his breath I shoot him a mock glare. "And you were right." He adds louder.

"I usually am, but what about this time?"

"She loves me." He beams. "I told her about me, well accidently because I talking about how much of a great friend you were, then she told me she already knew and well we're together." I sigh in relief I was going to give that girl a large hug when I see her. She made him so happy.

"Thank Merlin. See Remmie, I told you that you just had to wait for the right girl. I told you you'd be perfect together."

"Thank you." He says.

"Didn't I tell you that that was what I was here for?" He nods.

"Heard you were picking fights with people Peter." He laughs nervously.

"Yeah about that," he says looking around at us. "Sorry."

"It's alright wormy!" James says from where he was standing with his arm against Lily, who leaned into him.

"You should be the one apologizing James!" She says with a whack on his shoulder. "You who haven't said one damn word to anyone for two weeks! Two bloody weeks!"

"Sorry?" He says leaning down and kissing her lips. I watch as she melts against him. When she pulls back she pouts and mutters,

"How can I be mad at you when you kiss me like that?" He grins.

"You can't be." He says kissing her again. The door swings open, and in runs Jade.

"Remus, listen I know- Oh My goodness! You're awake!" She says to me, as she walks over. I lean up and pull her in for a hug.

"Thank you so much for being with him." I whisper. She hugs me tighter,

"I wouldn't have it any other way." She pulls back and I say with a large smile.

"Welcome to the family." I say gesturing around at all of us. She grins back as Remus reaches forward and pulls her to his side.

"Sirius wasn't very helpful last night. What happened to the slytherins?"

"Most of them got away, but the ones that didn't were expelled." Remus says.

"And the guy that killed our parents, he was trialed and founded guilty. His punishment was the dementors kiss." James says grinning.

"Dammit! I wish I could have seen it!" Everyone laughs.

"Yeah me too." James and Sirius say together. I grab Remus' watch and see that they still had ten minutes till classes.

"Alright, I appreciate you all being here, but NEWTS are in two weeks and you all need to go study!"

"But Zee-" Sirius starts. I cut him off with a kiss on the lips.

"Go!" he sighs and stands up.

"Yes, love." He pouts and starts walking towards the door. We exchanged good byes and then I'm left alone. I sigh, they have no idea how good it was to hear them again. To be alive.

"Xeomara." Madam Pomfrey says with a smile. "How do you feel?" I smile.

"I actually feel great."

"Good. Just as long as you keep taking the potion I gave you, you should be okay."

"So I can leave tonight?" I ask hopefully.

"Well," she starts then sighs. "Yes, very well." I jump up and hug her.

"Thank you Madam." She shakes her head and hugs me back.

"I think we're past last names don't you. Call me Poppy." I grin.

"Fine then call me Zee."

"Fair enough." She starts walking away again.

"Poppy?" I call after her. "Could you not tell my friends I can leave, I'm going to surprise them tonight."

"My lips are sealed."

I smile at how great it's going to be to be back in my own bed. Well Sirius' bed whatever, same thing. I-

"Xeomara." I hear a voice say in relief. I look up into the twinkling eyes of Dumbledore.

"Hello Professor." I say and to my surprise he leaned down and gave me a hug.

"You had us all very worried." I smile apologetically. "But no matter, no matter." He says.

"You handled yourself well out there." He tells me. I frown.

"If I handled myself better I would be here right now." He shakes his head.

"No, you being here shows your bravery. You stood up for your friends and put yourself in danger to protect them."

"I'll always try and protect them. I wouldn't be anywhere without them."

"They wouldn't be anywhere without you either." I smile again but frown as I remember something.

"I almost killed someone."

"Yes, but you didn't." He counters.

"But I wanted to, I felt the curse on my lips. If I said it I have no doubt that he would have died. Does that make me a bad person?" He shakes his head.

"No, it doesn't make you a bad person. You were angry and upset. Your emotions were everywhere. He killed the people you knew as your parents and had just tried to kill you as well. But you stopped. You didn't kill him, and that proves what kind of person you are. It proves that you won't let grief get to you." He stops thinks before he says the next thing, "Xeomara, sometimes you have to kill people. It may not be right, and you may not like it but the order members, they've killed before. It doesn't mean that they are bad people. They did what they have to do. And if someday you do kill someone, it will be because you have to do it." He tells me.

"Are you sure?" He shakes his head yes.

"I've done things I'm not proud of in my life. Everyone has. But I don't regret doing some of those things only because I had to. But the other ones.." He trails off and I have a feeling he's talking about something very personal. He stands up and walks towards the door, right before he walks out, I ask him,

"The other ones?" He turns to me his blue eyes no longer shining, and he looks more than 100 years old.

"I'll regret until the day I die." Then with a swish of his cloak he's gone.


	35. Proposals

I own nothing but my OC's

Chapter thirty five- Proposals.

Still shaky on my feet I bid Poppy good bye and start heading towards the tower. About half way there I stop and lean against the wall for support. Damn, being asleep for two weeks really takes a lot out of you. I rest my head against the wall and close my eyes. I want to surprise my friends, that is if I even make it without collapsing. That damn bastard, he is so lucky he's dead.

I blink my eyes open quickly as I feel myself getting picked in the air and cradled against someone chest. I breathe in the scent and close my eyes again.

"Sirius." I say with a sigh.

"Mhmm." He says with his face in my hair. I blink my eyes open and stare into his grey ones. "Weren't trying to escape were you?" He says a wicked glint in his eyes.

"No, actually Poppy let me out and I was trying to surprise you all but well.." I trail off.

"Tired?" I sigh.

"My legs felt like rubber." I admit, he cracks a smile.

"You were in a coma for merlin's sake. Of course your legs would feel like that. But luckily I'm here to help you surprise everyone else."

"Lucky you are here." I say as he leans down and kisses me.

"I missed that."

"I missed you." I laugh.

"Good to know."

"Ready?" Sirius asks me placing me on the ground and grabbing my hand.

"Yes love." He pushes open the door and we walk in.

"Hello there." I say with a bright smile.

"Sirius! I told you that you're not supposed to sneak her out! She needs her rest!" Lily yells to him.

"Calm down sister. I didn't sneak her out." He says.

"Poppy let me out, and I was trying to surprise you all and then Sirius found me!"

"Oh, well you still need your rest!" Lily says.

"Yeah, yeah." I wave off her order. I look around the room. "This place is a mess, it looks like you haven't left it." Everyone shifts uncomfortably. "You did leave the room right?"

"Urm-" Remus begins when Jade interrupts.

"No, they barely left the room once. They didn't go to classes and really the only time they left the room was to go to the hospital wing!"

I was shocked, firstly because Jade was here and she wasn't a Gryffindor secondly because they didn't leave the room. Why wouldn't they leave? What if I didn't wake up what would have happened then?

"What would have happened if I didn't wake up?" I say angrily. They all look away.

"We would have eventually got up, we would have to for Lily and James' wedding." I shoot my head towards my brother with a frown.

"You got engaged?!" He looks away nervously.

"Well I didn't buy her a ring or anything I just asked because I figured that we might as well."

"No!" I yell. They looked shocked

"Why not?" Lily asks.

"James take it back you have to do it the right way!" He looks at with a raised eye brow.

"So being half dead really did change you a bit didn't it?"

"JAMES!" Lily shouts, clearly shocked at his blunt comment.

"Hmm, guess it did." I say with a grin, that comment not fazing me in the least. "But since I'm not going to get a fairy tale wedding because it's not my style, Lily has to." He smiles at me.

"Fine, fine."

"Thank you!" I turn to Lily, "Don't worry I'll make myself think like a girl so I can help him plan this all out."

"I'll hold you to that." It got quiet and then Remus spoke up.

"We've been talking Zee, and well-"

"We're all joining the order after we graduate." The smile falls of my face. "I'm not letting James face this by himself or you or Sirius for that matter. We already talked to Dumbledore."

"We're in this together." Remus tells me.

"We all want to do this; it killed them last time not knowing what was going on. It killed me." Peter says speaking up.

"I can't stop you, but I wish you wouldn't." I say.

"You're right you can't." Lily says. A smile tugs at my lips.

"We then, looks as if we'll be kicking arse together than." They beam back.

"Damn straight." Jade says.

"So then, day after graduation?" Remus asks.

"Day after graduation." I repeat with a smile.

Xx

A loud scream wakes me from my sleep, I turn over to see Sirius screaming. Lily rushes forward and shakes his shoulders.

"Sirius! Sirius!" She yells. He then stops screaming and I'm so shocked I couldn't move. What was wrong with him?

"Lily?" He asked. She wraps and arm around him and kisses his forehead.

"I'm here, and so is Zee. Everything is okay now." She says trying to soothe him. He shoulders sag. "I'll leave you too him." She kisses his forehead again before she walks back over to James' bed.

"Love, are you okay?" He nods, and tried to control his breathing. "Let's go to the room of requirement we have quite a few things to talk about it looks like." He stands up and reaches for me, picks me up in his arms and we walk towards the seventh floor. He sets me down as I walk past it three times thinking of the same room Sirius and I always use.

He picks me up again and lays me on the bed under the covers and climbs in with me.

"I love this bed." He says smiling.

"Me too."

"I dream about it." He admits. "For the last two weeks I woke up like that, and Lily would always be there talking to me, and taking me to the kitchens to get a cup of tea. I guess I'm just not used to the fact that you're back."

"Well get used to it." I say leaning forward to kiss him. "Because I'm not going anywhere." I look down nervously and he must have noticed because he titled my chin up to meet his eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Sirius I've been thinking, well you're it for me. I mean I can't picture being without you. And well I know marriage isn't exactly our thing but-"

"Love, I already picture us as married." He says interrupting me.

"You do?"

"Of course, me and you, we don't need any of that marriage crap. I love you and you love me and as long as we know that isn't going to change then we're already married."

"Okay then husband." I say with a grin.

"Mrs. Black." He says, and I start to laugh.

"Mrs. Black? Hmm Xeomara Elizabeth Black. It has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"

"Sure does. So does that mean you're still going to use my last name even though we're not legally married?" I shrug my shoulders.

"I believe so." I say leaving a kiss on his lips.

"You believe so?"

"I do." I tell him, he barks out a laugh.

"Do you like children?" I ask him suddenly.

"Love them." He replies, "I want 10."

"10?!" I say incredulously.

"How about 2?" He pouts, "You're not the one that is going to carrying them around for nine months."

He huffs, "Fine."

"But after the war." I tell him.

"After the war." He agrees.

"Sirius, there is only one thing left." He looks up and meets my eyes knowing exactly what I'm talking about.

"Are you sure you just got out of the hospital wing. I could-"

I shut him up with a kiss, I push my tongue at his lips and he opens it meeting my tongue. We kiss passionately for awhile, my whole body plastered against his. His mouth breaks from mine as he trails kisses up and down my neck. I suppress a shiver, and nibble on his ear lobe. He groans and flips over laying on top of me. He leans down and kisses my mouth forcefully, his tongue moving fastly in my mouth, as I begin to tug on his tee shirt over his head. He breaks the kiss for only and second I remove it all the way off.

I lean forward and press kisses on his chest, sucking lightly at his neck. My hands come forward and I scratch up and down his back. He shivers under my hands and starts tugging my own tee shirt over my head. My naked chest meets his as he leans down and kisses me. I wrap my arms tightly around his back, rubbing my hands along the hard muscles of his upper back. I run my hands along his back until I reach his pants and begin pushing them down. He leans back and kicks them the rest of the way. I too sit up and push his briefs off, as he starts working on my pants. Once we're both naked his falls on top of my and runs his mouth up and down my scar and then works its way back up to my mouth. I suck on his tongue furiously as he pushes into me. He moans into my mouth, and his kiss comes more forcefully. I break the kiss and start biting on his neck, my breathing labored as was his.

I close my eyes and lean back as he rolls over and lays down next to me. I snuggle up to him and put my head into the crook of his neck breathing in his scent.

"I love you." I say pressing a kiss to his neck.

"I love you too." He whispers in my ear. "And I always will."

Xx

"We really need to go to class today." I say in between kisses. We were back in his dorm laying in his bed waiting for everyone else to finish getting ready.

"You're recovering, you need to stay in bed."

"And that what requires you to look after me?"

He laughs, "A husband always takes care of his wife."

"Husband? Wife?" James says staring at us. Sirius rolls off of me and we both sit up and stare at James. "When in the hell did you marry my sister Black?!" he says sounded pissed.

"James, we're not really married. We talked last night and we decided that since we really didn't want to have a wedding that it didn't matter if we were legally married because to each other we _are _married."

"Oh." He says, nodding his head. "That makes sense. I was just a little mad because I thought I didn't get invited to the wedding."

"You know us mate, no weddings." I frown and remember something.

"I feel bad though, Mum wanted to give me away at my wedding." I say referring to James' mum.

"Mauire, mum wouldn't care just as long as you're happy." I smile at him, and sober up.

"I am happy." Sirius leans over and kisses me.

"Good."

"So I guess you're the first one in our group to be 'married'". Lily says smiling.

"Sure am."

"But you don't have a ring." She says.

"Lily I don't need a ring because we're not-"

"I'll get you a ring." I grin at him.

"See Lily, I'll get a ring still." She laughs.

"You two, I swear." I look at Sirius and shrug my shoulders.

"NEWTS are next week! We need to get to class!" Remus says frantically tugging his shirt on.

"Remus!" Jade yells, slapping his hands out of the way and buttoning his shirt for him. "Calm down. I know you're nervous but you'll do fine." He sighs and leans down to kiss her.

"Jade I congratulate you for being able to calm him down, it takes me at least twenty minutes. I should have tried kissing him."

"I'm glad you didn't." Sirius says grabbing my arm as we make our way to lessons.

"I would never dream of kissing anyone else dear Husband."

"You better not wife." He tells me kissing my lips softly.

"That is going to take some getting used to." James mutters.

"Yeah what happened to the couple that didn't like to kiss each other in public." Lily agrees walking hand in hand with James.

"I don't know, but I miss them." Peter says.

Xx

This last week was complete torture what with me recovering, the teachers were all giving us extra work just to make sure we were completely ready for the finals, and what with Sirius and I skipping off to the room of requirement every free minute we had, I was swamped with work.

"James." I warn, as he starts playing with my hair. Sirius then leans forward and starts to press kisses on my neck. "Sirius!" when they don't stop I spin around furiously. "I need to finish this essay!

"But we're bored." Sirius whines.

"Aww poor baby."

"Maurie!" James pleads. "Please let's go do something!" I groan and put my head in my hands.

"We graduate next week! We need to leave with a BANG!" Sirius says talking fast with his hands. My head perks up.

"You caught my interest at BANG!" He grins. "So what are we going to do?"

"Obviously something that effects the whole school." I turn around and spot Remus.

"They got you in on this too?" I ask.

"There is no way, I'd miss this. Even if it means taking a break from studying."

"True, we need to-"

"Uh!" Peter says running forward.

"What's up Pete." He bends over out of breath.

"Running from slytherins." James, Sirius, and I burst out laughing.

"Oh Peter! They're slytherins what's the worst they could do." He looks away and doesn't answer.

"Anyway I was just saying that we needed to find Peter, so we could go upstairs and plan."

"Excellent idea, and since we don't have to find our cowardly friend we can plan now!"

The rest of the night went smooth sailing with our plans for after the graduation, except for of course when we had to kick out Lily and Jade because they weren't allowed in on our idea. They huffed angrily and told us they were sneaking into hogsmeade to get drunk.

"So do you think this will work?" Peter asks nervously. I make a face at him.

"Honestly Pete, are you kidding. We're the marauders! Of course it will bloody work!

"Merlin I was just asking.." He says trailing off. James and I exchange looks and burst out laughing.

"Stop laughing guys it's not funny!" Peter yells. This makes Moony and Sirius start laughing as well.

"Well Wormy honestly-" Pads starts only to stop when the door bursts open and Lily and Jade fall down on the ground in heaps of laughter.

"What in the name of Merlin?"

Lily gets up very shakily might I add, and helps Jade. They lean on each other for support and it's then that I can tell that they're actually drunk.

"James baby." Lily cooes. She starts walking towards him again but falls, which brings on another bout of laughter from them.

"Honestly Lily. You're a bloody mess!" James yells.

"Calm down Jamsie." Jade says, which make my eye brows raise. "She's fine, we had such a nice time. I mean we were in the hogshead minding our own business when this random bloke starts buying us drinks!" I grin at them.

"A bloke bought you guys drinks?" Lily gets up and leans on Jade nodding enthusiastically "Excellent!"

"Maurie! That is not excellent. A bloke bought them drinks. They were drunk, in a bar." James yells.

Ignoring James I look to the girls, "So what did he look like?" They both start thinking very hard which causes them to laugh.

"He was extremely fit." Lily says. "Though I can't quite remember his bloody name. Do you have any idea?" She asks Jade.

"Not a clue, but agreed he was fit."

"So what did you do with this 'fit' bloke?" Remus asks angrily.

"Remus honey, you're one of the smartest people in our school but you can still be quite dense."

"I say the same thing about Lily all the time!" I say speaking up.

"Hmm, it must be something with smart people then." Jade agrees.

"Right so why was Remus dense?" Peter asks.

"Oh right!" Jade says, she lets go of Lily and drops herself onto Remus' lap. "Because why would I do something with any other bloke when I have the best bloke right here." She says giving him a kiss. He blushes scarlet and smiles.

"I have no clue why you would do that angel." She kisses him again.

"Mmm, I love you." Jade says against his lips.

"I love you too." I turn to Sirius and make a face of disgust. He nods at my face meaning he agrees with me.

"What about you Lily? Did you do anything with this fitty?" She snorts out a laugh, from where she was now sitting on James' bed.

"As if, I just wanted the free drinks." At this James, Sirius, and I exchange looks and start cracking up.

"That's my girl." James says bringing her down from the bed and kissing her.

"I wouldn't dream of being anyone else' girl." She stops and thinks before looking at Sirius and saying, "Well except for Sirius'." She winks jokingly at him.

"It's okay Lilykins I dream about you too." I smack him upside the head.

"Do you hear this Jimmy!" I say playing along.

"I hear it Maurie! And I don't like it!" He yells.

"Me either!" I yell back.

"Would you two shut up!" Remus yells. We look at him with raised eye brows he smiles and says quietly, "Jade's sleeping."

I mumble an "Oh." At the same time as Prongs.

"Well we should probably get to bed we have NEWTS tomorrow." Peter says speaking up.

"That might be the smartest thing you ever said mate." I tell him. He rolls his eyes and walks over to his bed. James picks up a now sleeping Lily and carries her to bed laying down himself.

Sirius tugs my up by the hand and we curl up on his bed. I roll over and face him.

"This is our last week here." I start out. I look down nervously as does he.

"Yeah it is."

"Are you scared?" He looks up and meets my eyes questionatly. "About joining the order?"

"A little. Aren't you?"

"Yes." I answer truthfully. With that he cracks his beautiful smile and leans forward to kiss me. Our lips meet and all my fears for the moment melt away. When he pulls back I grin and say, "As long as you keep doing that I'll be fine."

"As long as you're there with me I'll be fine." He answers back.

"Good answer." I comment.

"Thank you."

"This is just the start of a new adventure is all. I'm also a little excited too. I mean I've dreamed about joining the order since last year. I wanted to do nothing more than fight."

"Same here, but now that is came so quickly…"

"Yeah, I understand. We'll get through it."

"Together?" I smile and lean forward, my lips almost touching his.

"Together." I say before his lips crash on mine.


	36. New Beginnings

I own nothing but my OC'S!

Chapter thirty six- New Beginnings.

The week of finals James, Sirius, and I tended to keep to ourselves. Lily, Remus, and Peter were driving themselves mad. Lily looked like she was going to rip out her hair. Peter looked like he was going to cry and Remus yelled at everyone he talked too. And right away I knew I was going to keep my distance. And surprisingly Jade was completely confident, she had no doubt in her mind that she was going to pass, so she stuck with us. And I'm glad she did. This last week I got to know Jade, really know her. She is a half blood, her mum was a pureblood and her dad was a muggle born. She was an only child until this year her mom announced she was pregnant which Jade said made her wanna throw herself off the astronomy tower. She lives in down town London and she hates her house. She said her parents are too weird and that she can't wait to move out on her own. She's already looking around for flats! Of course James gave her permission to stay at our house seeing as pretty much all of us were going to live there now. I mean the house is big why not?

Lily, though still has to live at home which is driving James crazy. Her mum is extremely over bearing and can't quite work out why her daughter would want to leave home. Though James bought her ring, so he should be proposing soon! And apparently Peter is staying with his parents too. So it will mostly likely be James, me, Sirius, Remus and Jade. We're going to have a blast. Well in between order meetings and training of jobs. James, Sirius, Lily, and I all got accepted into the auror training program. Peter got accepted as some weird secretary at the ministry and Remus didn't apply anywhere, yet. If I have anything to do with it, and Jade got accepted for healer training.

These 7 years went by so fast and I can hardly believe I'm graduating today. I'm leaving my first real home and I'm actually nervous. But I know that I'll be okay. I'll have Jimmy and Sirius, and my family behind me. My stuff is all packed and ready in my dorm, and my bed is made seeing as I don't even sleep in there anymore. All that's left on the bed is my Hogwarts robes, and today will be the last time that I wear them.

"Xeomara?" I blink my head of my thoughts and turn towards Sirius who was looking quite pale.

"Happy graduation." I say kissing the tip of his nose. He pales even more. "Oh Sirius, you'll be fine!"

"I know, I know. I'm just nervous." He looks down, so he misses when I roll my eyes.

"Sirius, stop being nervous. I'm going to go get ready and I except you down in the common room in a half hour. We have to go to the ceremony!" I get up and slap his butt. "Get moving!"

"Yes dear." He mumbles into the pillow.

"James! Peter! Remus!" I yell loudly. "Get up!" Remus falls off his bed landing hard on the floor. Peter shoots up so fast he hits his head and James just blinks an eye open.

"Alright I'm up, I'm up." Remus says over my yelling. I stop and shoot them all my most charming smile.

"Don't try that on me." James says standing up, at the same time Sirius does. They start racing towards the door to take a shower. The door slams in Sirius' face and he sighs.

"HAHA!" James yells from the bathroom.

"You are such children! See you in the common room." I say walking towards the door. When I enter my own dorm I see Lily just getting out of the shower.

"Happy Graduation!" I say giving her a hug.

"You seem excited." She says hugging me back.

"I am excited!" I say and then add, "A little nervous too but I'll be okay." She just shakes her head and moves around so I can take a shower. The warm water hits my skin and I'm calmed down a little. Just a little. I take my time getting ready, blowing drying my curly hair which is now back to its original length thanks to Lily's hair growing charm. I put on my usual light make up, and put on my uniform. Wearing only the button up and vest leaving the cloak off. Lily does the same. I bounce down the stairs following Lily. Where we meet up with the boys. None of us speak, my excitedness turns to nerves and we walk silently to the great hall where every other seventh year is acting just like us. Everyone is quiet as we eat breakfast waiting for the ceremony to start. My hand is squeezing Lily's tightly underneath the table and she looks like she's going to cry.

"Seventh years, today is a day to remember." Dumbledore begins standing up. "Today is the day where you leave the school behind and enter the world. Where you begin your jobs, get your own homes and use the knowledge we taught you hear at Hogwarts. When you leave this school the protection is gone and you must learn to live with your own protection. The war out there is the cold hard truth. You can either fight it or go along with it, but once you leave here the choice is yours." I exchange glances with my friends. "I'm proud to call myself your headmaster as you were all exceptional students. Some of the best I've ever had. You were passionate, caring, funny," he looks to us as he says this. "And great learners. We all wish you luck in your future years." Lily's hand squeezes mine tighter when he begins calling out the names. One by one the students walk up to Dumbledore and get their diplomas. I can tell Lily is nervous to see whether or not she made top of the class. Which I'm sure she did. Her names wasn't called, Sirius' wasn't, either was mine, Remus' or James'. We all cheered loudly as Jade and Peter were called up and stood in line next to the other seventh years. As he called the last person he smiled brightly and looked in our direction.

"Next I will call the students that made in top three of their class." I look towards the boys and nod, letting them know to get ready for our last bang! "The top of the class," Lily squeezes my hand again, almost breaking it. "Our Head girl this year, Lily Rose Evans!" She jumps up out of her seat as we cheer loudly and walks over to Dumbledore, and McGonagall. Then goes to stand with the other students. "Second in the class, Remus John Lupin!" Moony grins at us before walking up the steps to Dumbledore. Surprisingly McGonagall hugs him which causes him to blush and Sirius to whistle. "And for third in the class, we have more than one student. Firstly, our Head Boy James Harry Potter!" I stand up and hug him before he walks over to Dumbledore, who hugs him before handing him the paper. Everyone was quiet as that happened because Dumbledore never hugged anyone. I grinned wider. "Next, Sirius Orion Black!" I kiss his cheek as he stands up.

"Love you." He whispers in my ear.

"Love you too." I whisper back before he too walks up. Dumbledore and McGonagall hug him. Dumbledore turns to Sirius and whispers something in his ear which makes Sirius laugh loudly. The sound of his charming laughter bouncing off the walls. He nods and turns to grin at me. "And Lastly, Xeomara Elizabeth Black!" My own laughter joins Sirius' as I walk up to Dumbledore. I should have known he would somehow hear about that! Everyone in the hall looked between me and Sirius with shock. I could hear the whispers as I walked through the isle. The whole time laughing. When I reached them I hugged McGonagall first and then turned to Dumbledore. I hugged him tightly.

"Thank you for everything." I whisper to him.

"You're very welcome Mrs. Black." I look at him stunned.

"How'd you hear that?"

"Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies." I laugh out loud at the motto the marauders used.

"Zee!" I turn around and she Sirius at the bottom of the stairs holding his hand out to me. I take it, and at the same time we face McGonagall and bow.

"It's been a pleasure Minnie!" We say laughing. At that moment Fireworks boom in the enchanted ceiling. Creating M's and our names in the sky. James takes Lily's hand and starts sprinting out of the hall, followed by Peter and Remus who was holding Jade also by the hand, then Sirius and Me holding hands. Everyone was looking at the ceiling with shock as the fireworks kept booming loudly.

"Excellent work Mr. Lupin!" Dumbledore calls.

"Thank you Sir!" Rem yells over his shoulder.

"Xeomara, Good work teaching him!" I stop briefly and turn towards him.

"I'm glad you recognized my work Sir!" he laughs and Sirius takes my hand again and we don't stop until we reach the Marauders compartment. Where we break down in laughter. Finally we stopped laughing all of us wiping the tears of our faces.

"Merlin, that was a laugh!" Lily says. "I can't believe you didn't tell us!"

"That's not all flower." I say and both her and Jade exchange looks. "Those names won't go anywhere."

"Come again?" Jade asks. I exchange looks with the boys and they nod.

"It's permanent. It's going to say The Marauders: James, Sirius, Xeomara, Peter, and Remus up there forever! There is no way to take it down. You can move it, and flip it upside down but you can't take it down!" They looked shocked.

"That's really advanced magic! Zee you taught him this?" Jade says pointing to Remus.

"Sure did, it's one the same spells I used over top of my bed to enchant the ceiling with stars."

"Wow." I grin wider.

"I know." I says smugly.

"Great, now you guys are going to make her head even bigger!" Sirius says. I turn and smack him on the back of his head.

"Ow! See what I mean James! I don't know where the power comes from!" James just shakes his head.

"Who knows!" Eventually it gets quiet again leaving us all to our own thoughts. I assume we were all thinking about how this was our last time on the Hogwarts express, and how we were never going back. This was it. Our lives were officially starting. I start auror training in July, as does everyone else and Jade starts her healing training next week. This was it we were officially adults. And tomorrow marks the most important day of our lives. The day we become official members of the Order of the Phoenix.

We dress quickly in our muggle clothing waiting for the train to come to a complete stop. When it does we all look at each other and Sirius takes my hand.

"This is it." Remus mutters sadly.

"Yeah, it sure is." James says. We look around the compartment we had since first year. I lean forward with my wand and carve the same thing we had on the ceiling in the great hall but added on Lily and Jade's name and the date.

"Now we'll be here forever." I say, as we walk off the train. I'm hit with the bustle of everyone hugging their parents and saying good bye to their friends. This time we don't see Walburga and Orion Black, or James' Mum and Dad. Lily leaves with her parents and Peter with his. And Remus leaves to introduce Jade to his mum. They would be coming over later to start unpacking their things. I walk on with James and Sirius looking at the ground and stop when I see feet in front of me.

"Raes." I look up into the cold eyes of Snape, and standing next to him is Malfoy arm in arm with Narcissa.

"You will pay for what you did to us." Malfoy says. "Welcome to the real world. The headmaster won't help you now." Sirius grips my hand tighter and moves to grab his wand I stop him and glare at the trio,

"Good Luck." Was all I said and walked away James and Sirius falling in my lead.

Xx

The next morning I take a short amount of time getting ready and hurry down stairs to make breakfast. The meeting was at one at we only had an hour to spare. James and Sirius took the quickest shower of their lives and Remus and Jade who were completely unpacked now were getting ready in their own bathrooms. Jade took the room across from Remus.

I just finished setting the table when Jade walked in.

"I was hoping to help, but it seems as though you're already done." She says smiling.

"Yeah I got up pretty early today, or late actually. We have to be there in an hour." She looked at me nervously.

"Are you nervous?" She asks sitting down, and piling food on her plate.

"Yes and no." she raises and eye brow. "I've wanted nothing more than to do this since sixth year but I'm still a little nervous to actually get in on the fighting but I know this is what I want to do." She nods and we sit quietly as we eat breakfast. One by one the boys follow in and also sit down. We talk for a little while but really we were all too nervous to say more than a few words. I clean up with the help of Jade and before I know it we're walking out the door.

"You ready?" Lily asks walking up to door that we just walked out of.

"Yeah, where's Peter?" I hear a loud crack and suddenly Peter is standing right there next to me. "Excellent. Let's go." Everyone nods and I turn on the spot thinking of the burrow, where Molly and Arthur Weasley lived with their two sons.

Suddenly I'm standing in front of the most homiest place I have ever seen. It was magnificent.

"Whoa, check this place out. It's wicked." James says with a grin.

"Damn straight." Sirius adds. We walk up the front door and knock, just like we were instructed to do.

"Who's there?" Asks the voice of Arthur Weasley.

"Xeomara Black, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans, Jade Green, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew." I answer back.

"Prove it." I roll my eyes at the protocol.

"Open the door and I'll show you." He opens the door and I point to my face, the slightly faded scar from Moony's attack was proof enough.

"Very well come in." I nod and enter the house, where I was led into a large room where many people where sitting on the benches at the table. Dumbledore at the head. I noticed Mad Eye, Hestia Jones, The Prewetts, and a few others who I hadn't seen before. I also noticed Alice and Frank Longbottom who graduated last year and were recently married. They weren't sitting down like the rest of us and I automatically assumed they were joining today as we were. Dumbledore stood and the whole room got quiet.

"Welcome! Today we will have new numbers joining us! They have been properly viewed and I will have no doubt in my mind that they are excellent choices for the organization." Everyone nodded but I could feel Mad Eye Moody's glare on me, I glared back. "Xeomara Elizabeth Black!" I walked to the front of the table and looked across at Dumbledore. I hushed whisper went through the room at the sound of my "new" last name.

"Hello Professor."

"I'm not your Professor anymore Xeomara. Call me Albus." He said lightly. I grin.

"Alright Albus, only if you call me Zee." His blue eyes twinkle and he barks out a laugh.

"Very well. You wish to join the order of the phoenix?"

"Yes."

"Can you handle the life that comes with it?"

"Yes."

"Are you willing to do whatever you can to protect the members?"

"Even if it means death." I answer truthfully.

"Well than I guess I don't need to ask the next question." I grin at him. "Sign the paper right there. And welcome to the order." I quickly sign my name and take one of the empty seats that were left for us.

"Sirius Orion Black!" Sirius grins at me before walking up.

"You wish to join the order?"

"Naturally." He grins and I snort out a laugh.

"Can you handle the life that comes with it?"

"Of course."

"Are you willing to do whatever you can to protect the members?" Sirius looks right at me, and his eyes meet mine.

"Yes."

"Even if it means death."

"Yes." He says not breaking the stare.

"Very Well, welcome Sirius." He signs his name and joins me on the bench. Next they call up James, then Lily, and the rest were called.

"Well, everyone take time to get acquainted with your new order members." Dumbledores says before he sits down.

"Honestly Alice, they're not that bad anymore. They really deflated their heads." I hear Lily says to Alice from where they're sitting across from me. My head shoots up.

"I really don't Lily. I mean all those pranks they pulled and what about Raes? I know the kind of things her family gets up too, how do we know she's not on their side? How can we really trust her, she isn't exactly trust worthy."

The whole table gets quiet and stares at me. I glare at her but my voice remains calm and cool. "Two Summers ago I was locked in my room by my parents who made me the family house elf, when I tried escaping my father used the cruciatus curse on me, I fought back and arrived at Hogwarts after being starved for two weeks. The end of sixth year I saved Lily when she was cursed and endured the cruciatus curse yet again by Regulus Black. That summer I watched the people who I knew as my parents die right in front of my eyes and dueled with death eaters. In the beginning of seventh year I helped Regulus Black defy Voldemort and become a spy for the order of the phoenix. After Christmas I went to go save Reg from Voldemort and endured third degree burns from Voldemort and still managed to curse the nose off of his face. About a month ago James and I broke into the slytherin common room and heard that they planned to have the death eaters attack Hogwarts so they could recruit _me_ to become a death eater. I was put in a coma after capturing some death eaters for two weeks after I endured the cruciatus curse for a third time, for 6 minutes. I lived through more in the last two years that you have in your whole 19 years of living. While you were at home planning your marriage and buying houses and I was actually doing something worthwhile. So don't sit there and accuse me of being like them because they are not my family." Her mouth was hanging wide open and it was deathly quiet. "Everyone does things that their parents don't want them to do. I mean its common knowledge that Mrs. Longbottom doesn't like _you _and Frank still married you. I am no different. I went against my biological parents beliefs. I am my own person. So don't you dare ever accuse me of that again." When I finish everyone was staring at me, she opens her mouth while looking at Sirius and he tenses. "Before you even ask, Sirius is nothing like his parents either. He lived through the same things as I have. So don't accuse him either or I'll hex you into next week."

"Albus I don't know." Moody says looking at me.

"I don't care if you are my instructor for my training this summer, I will not take your bull shit with your prejudice against my biological family. I except you to treat me the same as you do to your other students." I say with a glare. He suddenly grins and I'm taken aback.

"I know I said that I wasn't too sure about this one Albus, but I like her she's got such a fiery temper. She'll make a great auror." I grinned back at him.

"Damn straight. Who knows I might even be better than you some day." Suddenly the table was loud and talking again.

"I'm sorry about her Zee." Frank said speaking up. I turned and grinned at the boy I played quidditch with the year before and smiled.

"Not a problem I'm sorry about brining your marriage into it I was being rude." He grinned and started to laugh.

"You were right though."

"I guess I was." I say with a laugh.

"Well you handled that well." James says.

"Thank you." I say arrogantly. Jade smiles.

"Xeomara?" My head whips around to Alice who was red in the face. I raise an eyebrow. "I'm sorry. It was wrong of my to accuse you and I shouldn't have said anything you really are-" I cut her off.

"Alice." She blushes again. "No harm done. You don't have to apologize." I give her a smile and she smiles back. Lily rolls her eyes.

"So you're married to Sirius?" She asks.

I ignore the married part; he squeezes my hand and smiles at me. "He's my husband."

Frank opens his mouth but is cut off by Dumbledore who started the meeting. I listen carefully to all the problems that have been going on lately as he assigned jobs. The newer member are too patrol crowed areas, like hogsmeade and diagon alley, and knockturn alley especially. I was assigned first to knockturn alley and Sirius wasn't too excited about this, but I was and I was set to relieve Hestia at 12 midnight.

After the meeting everyone was saying their good byes when Albus called for me and James. We followed him into the back room.

"I have something for you both." We exchanged looks. "This was left in my possession given to me by your parents about a few months before they died. She had these since you two were born," I sucked in a breath. He pulled out two rings. One was large clearly a men's cut and the other was for a girl. He handed my ring to me and I studied it. There was a large sapphire stone, as was on James'.

"They had it made for you both. The ring will burn when either one of you is in trouble so you can help each other. She didn't want you two to be apart. It has your names engraved into it as well." I flipped it over and my name was written in cursive in the white gold.

"Wow." James says wiping a tear from his eye, I felt my own eyes welling up. He slipped the ring on his right hand while I slipped mine own on my left middle finger.

"Clasp hands, we have to initiate them." We grab hands tightly and hold them to Dumbledore. He placed his wand over top of our joined hands.

"Do you James Harry Potter swear to protect your sister Xeomara Elizabeth Black?"

"I do."

"Xeomara Elizabeth Black do you swear to protect your brother James Harry Potter?" I grin at him and he grins back.

"Naturally." Suddenly my finger burned and I could feel James' burning as well. Then the light went out.

"Albus." I start. "I've been meaning to ask you." His eyes twinkled and James looked confused. "What exactly do you know about James and I?"

"I've actually been wondering that too." Dumbledore smiles at us.

"You two are actual soulmates. It's rare but not unusual I've only seen it thrice in my life. I've seen it happen three different ways. The first time, the couple got married, the second time they were twins and the third time, which is you two."

"How could you tell?" I asked curiously.

"Oh I think everyone could tell Xeomara."

Xx

"Well that was cool." Moony says as well all plop down on couch when we get home.

"Agreed." Jade says yawning. "I think I'm going to head up to bed. Coming Remus?" He nods.

"Zee, wake me up before you leave I have to go to diagon alley at one." I kiss his cheek as he lifts Jade on his shoulder and walks up to their room.

"I don't like the idea of you being alone in knockturn alley." I roll my eyes.

"She'll have my cloak and besides I'll know if she's in trouble." James says pointing the rings we explained on the way back.

"Well that makes me feel a little better, I guess." Sirius grumbles. I lean over and kiss him.

"Get some sleep, I'll see you in the morning." He nods and gets up. Not before grabbing both sides of my face and staring deep in my eyes.

"Be careful."

"I will." I tell him.

"I love you." He leans in his lips almost at mine.

"I love you too." He kisses me long and deep before disappearing upstairs.

"He is always so worried about you." James says from where he was now laying stretched out on the couch his head in my lap.

"Yeah well so are you." I counter. "And don't act like you aren't always worried about Lily. You're going to blow a casket when she has to go relieve me at 11."

He scoffs and closes his eyes. "See you won't answer me because you know I'm right!" He scrunches his nose up. Still not answering me. "Fine be a child about it!" I say with a huff.

"I'll be a child if I want to be one." He says sticking out his tongue.

"Oh mature James." He just grins. We're quiet for a moment and then James asks,

"Do you think she'll say yes?"

"Are you really worried about it?"

"Yes, of course I'm worried about it."

"Jimmy she already basically said yes. Don't stress it will be fine."

"Yeah but that was when you had just woken up from your coma-"

"James! She'll say yes. I know she will." He stands up and kisses my forehead.

"You better be right Maurie!" he yells from where he was walking up the stairs.

"I always am!" he laughs loudly.

"Be careful! Love you!" I roll my eyes even though he can't see them.

"Love you too."

A half an hour later I'm shaking Remus awake.

"Hey Rem!" he stirs slightly. "REMUS!" he jumps up quickly wiping sleep out of his eyes.

"Merlin Zee-" He starts but I cut him off.

"I have to go, listen take the cloak." I say stuffing the invisibility cloak in his hands.

"Oh no! James told you to use it! I'm not taking it!" He says trying to give it back.

"Remus, take it. It will make me feel better."

"Xeomara I-" I push the cloak at him one final time before picturing knockturn alley in my head and turning on the spot, with a loud pop I'm gone.


	37. Patrolling and Engagments

I own nothing but my OC'S

Chapter thirty seven- patrolling and engagements.

Knockturn alley is a place right outside of Diagon alley. I always hated coming here as a child. I hated the streets, the shops, I hated the creepy looking witches and wizards. I hated everything about it. I never thought I would have to come back here. It reminds me way to much of my childhood. I can almost see myself at age 7 trailing behind my two older sisters and my parents. The way people nodded in respect when they passed. I didn't understand any of it then. I don't know what I thought it was but I hated it. And I still hate it now. Even though it's late and most people should be at home sleeping, they're not. All different types of witches and wizards are walking around talking, gambling, and some are just standing there. An old wizard looks at me a grins a toothless grin and it makes me shiver. I almost wish I didn't give the cloak to Remus. James and Sirius are going to murder me when I get home. I stand my ground and walk along the streets looking for anything, any sign of death eaters, but so far I get nothing.

I look down at my watch and notice I've been here for over three hours already. I didn't get anything no flicker of movement no mysterious people, nothing. I'd almost welcome a duel right now to be honest. I lean my head against the wall of an alley and just look around. A stone skids from somewhere behind me and I turn towards the sound.

"Xeomara?" A cold voice says, I squint my eyes at find my sister staring at me, her hand tightly wrapped against her husband's.

"Jessica." I nod my head, and kick my foot of the wall and walk towards her. "A romantic outing?" I say nodding my head again this time towards their hands. Her upper lips curls.

"What are you doing here?" Her husband asks me. I hold my hand out.

"I'm sorry but I don't think we've met. I'm Xeomara the black sheep of the family. And you are?" I prompt. He looks at me with a cold glare.

"Daniel Biggs." And takes my hand.

"Pleasure." I reply dryly taking my hand back.

"You didn't answer his question, what are you doing here?" She asks me, flipping her long blonde hair from her face.

"Well father's birthday is coming up so I thought why not pick him up something, and then I realized I didn't get you a wedding gift so-" Her hand reaches out and smacks me hard across my face. The cheek she hit was stinging and I could feel a welt. "You asked me and I told you."

"That wasn't an answer little sister." She snarls.

"Why are you so worked up with what I'm doing? You should be worried about yourself." Her husband glares "Big sister." I add on with a sneer.

She lets go of Biggs hand and take a close step towards me, we were so close that I could see the little freckles on her pale face. "You are messing with the wrong people."

"Or maybe you're messing with the wrong person. We may never know."

"You're in way over your head. It's time you realized it." My lips curls and my hand inches towards the wand in my pocket.

"Don't even think about it." She abruptly turns away and walks back to Daniel. "Let's go." They turn they're back on me and begin walking towards diagon alley. I immediately conjure a patronus.

"Remus, my sister and her husband are heading your way. Stay hidden. Follow them." A second later the silver tiger is sprinting away. I look around and the shops look deserted. I step out of the alley way and walk towards the shops, the first sign of light is coming and I'm exhausted. Wanting nothing more for this to be over so I can go to sleep. But I still have almost six hours left. I take a right turn and suddenly a silvery wolf is in front of me.

"They left through the leaky cauldron, didn't do anything suspicious. This is going to be a long night." The wolf disappears.

"It sure is." I say to myself.

Xx

"Xeomara?" I voice asks, I whip my head around and see Lily striding towards me. "Oh, what happened to your cheek?"

"It's nothing. I would stay and talk but I'm beat, I'm heading home. Be careful." She nods. I turn on the spot thinking of the Potter Mansion. With a loud crack I appear at my house and head towards the front door and unlocking it with my key.

The second I walk through the door I'm engulfed in a large hug.

"Thank Merlin you're home!" Sirius says. I push him off of me.

"Of course I'm home." I snap. He raises an eye brow. "I'm tired and my feet hurt. I just want to-" I stop as he cups my face in his hand and stares at my cheek.

"What happened to you?"

"Oh it was nothing big, met up with my sister and her husband. I pissed her off a little bit and she slapped me."

"And you did nothing to her." I turn my head away.

"No."

"Alright. You should go to bed you're tired. But not before attempting to calm down James. He's a nervous wreck." I roll my eyes and yawn.

"Where is he?"

"Bedroom."

"Moony home?" He nods.

"Sleeping, got in an hour before you." I give him a quick kiss before slowly making my way up the stairs; Jade stops me half way up there.

"You want some breakfast?" I shake my head.

"Nah I'm going to sleep." She nods.

"You should really try talking to James he's-"

"I'm already on it." I say cutting her off. I make my way up to his room and walk in quietly.

"Hey there." I say dropping onto his bed next to him, I place my hands behind my head a close my eyes. "What's got your wand in a knot?"

"Oh be quiet I'm just nervous!" he answers. I blink my eyes open.

"James, she's in broad day light. Nothing is going to happen to her. I didn't even see-" but I stop when I realize that wasn't true. I notice his eyes lingering on my cheek and I'm started to wonder if the slap was really that bad.

"What happened?" He asked placing his cold hand on my cheek softly.

"Jessica." He motions for me to continue. "I was leaning against the wall when her and her husband came up. I pissed her off a little then when she asked what I was doing there I told her that father's birthday was coming up and that I never got her a wedding gift. Then she slapped me."

"You didn't hit her back." He says after a few moments. I shake my head no. "I understand what you're feeling. But you're not a little girl anymore, you don't live in that house anymore. You don't have to take that from her anymore." I close my eyes again.

"I know I'm just not used to it yet I guess. I haven't really seen her since I moved out." He pulled me to him and laid my head on his shoulder.

"You should really go to sleep." I nod. "I'm not sure if you'll be up before I go so wish me luck."

"You don't need luck. You'll be fine Jimmy." His hand comes up and strokes my hair.

"You'll be fine too Maurie." I'm almost ready to question him but I was feeling more and more tired. Right before I fell asleep I heard him mutter, "Good night." Then I was out.

Xx

-Sirius' POV-

"Alright mate, good luck." I say clapping James on the back.

"Zee told me that I didn't need any." I just shake my head.

"She's right you don't." Jade says from beside me. "She's clearly in love with you. She doesn't want anyone else."

"Well said."

"I'm off, be back later. You better still be home!" He yells walking out the door.

"We'll see!" I yell back before the door closes.

"So it's just me and you." I say turning to Jade.

"Guess so." She looks towards the kitchen and then back at me. "Hungry?"

"Starved."

A half hour later Jade and I are eating the dinner she just whipped up.

"So did Rem say anything when he got home?" I ask her.

"Nah, he gave me a kiss and hopped right in bed. Didn't say a word."

"Good thing too, he's so grumpy when he's tired. Zee almost bit my head off this morning. She was really tired."

"You know," she starts. "I always knew you guys would end up together. I was Remus' patrolling partner fifth year too, and the when he talked about you all I could just tell that you guys like each other."

"Really?"

"Well, also for the fact that Remus used to tell me he thought you two loved each other." I bark out a laugh.

"Yeah she's a great girl. Couldn't imagine being without her now." I admit. She smiles. "So how did you and Remus.." I trail off.

"I knew I was in love with Remus the beginning of this year. I thought he liked me too at first but then he became sort of distant. It was around Christmas when I realized he was a werewolf and I understood the fact that he might not want to get close with me. I didn't like it but I didn't want to push it." She blushes slightly before saying the next part. "It was weird though, sometimes I was sure he was going to kiss me and other times he looked like he wanted nothing more than to be away from me. Then like the end of April or beginning of may I don't know. It happened again, we were talking and laughing and he looked like he was going to kiss me, but he back away. And this time I got angry and I told him that if he wanted to kiss me then he should just kiss me dammit." She starts laughing and I join in. I can't imagine that coming from her. She looked so sweet and innocent. "So he kissed me. I realized that he probably wouldn't ask me out and that this was all I was going to get. I was really surprised though when he finally admitted that he liked me. I was even more surprised how he let it slip he was a werewolf. It was almost like he was-"

"So comfortable with you?" A voice says from behind me. I turn around a grin at Remus. "I was listening at the door. It's a lot different coming from your point of view."

She blushes, but ignores him and turns back to me. "Anyway after that I told him I already knew and told him I loved him. He then proceeded to go on and on about how he was dangerous and how I'd be shunned and that he wasn't the one I should date so I-"

"Yelled at me to just say it back." Remus interrupts, she grins.

"He was really taking forever and I was getting impatient."

"Damn Moony, you should have told her you loved her the second she said it. How dare you make this poor woman wait?!"

"Oh quiet Sirius, the only reason you sucked up your pride is because stripes was in a coma."

"Not true. I was going to tell her the day she got asked out by Diggery. But then after she got asked out I changed my mind."

"Excuses, excuses." He says shaking his head.

"Moony I-"

"Honey do you want dinner?" Jade asks interrupting us.

"Oh yeah sure." He says turning his attention to his girlfriend.

"Alright Moony, Rocky I'll see you later." I say walking through the kitchen door.

"Rocky?!" She yells after me.

"Well you need a nickname, we all have one! And a jade is a rock isn't it?"

"It's a stone!" Her and Remus yell in unison.

"Yes exactly what I said, a rock."

"Sirius!"

I ignore them and head up to my room where Prongs told me Zee was. When I walk in, I saw her curled up tightly in a ball on James' bed. I walk over to her and place my hand lightly on her swollen cheek. She rubs her cheek into my hand, causing me to smile. I slide into bed next to her and place her head on my shoulder.

"Sirius?" She says her eyes still closed.

"Yes love?"

"Sorry for snapping at you early I was just-"

"Tired." I finish. "It's okay." I stare at her for a second then say, "You know,"

"What?" She asks sitting up and looking at my face.

"Something interesting happened when Remus came home. Do you know what he had in his hand?" She blushes and looks away nervously.

"No."

"James' invisibility cloak. I wonder how it got there."

"Uh yeah me too." Suddenly there a small weight on my lower leg and I look down to see a small white cat.

"Baby!" Zee yells bringing the cat in her arms. "She's getting so big."

"Of course, change the subject." I mutter. She sighs and places the cat down.

"I wanted him to have I'd feel a lot better if he did."

"I would have felt better if you had something on too, but apparently you didn't because your sister saw you."

"Yeah well, I'm okay and that's all that matters right?" I sigh and lean in places a kiss on the tip of her nose.

"Yeah I guess." I grumble and she smiles widely.

"You go tonight right?" I shake my head yes.

"Hogsmeade in about two hours. I hope James is home by then."

"Are you taking James' cloak?"

"Oh so I still have to take it?" I ask raising an eye brow. "Well James is relieving me at about 4 so yeah I'll have it so he can take it. Though I'd much rather Jade take it."

"Me too." She answers honestly. "When does she go?"

"Same time as I do. She'll be walking around Hogwarts so we'll be close. I'll keep an eye out for her."

"Good." She mumbles leaning up and kissing my lips. She pushes me flat on my back and climbs on top of me.

"Very good." I agree as she kisses me again. I part her lips with my tongue, and trail my hands up and down her back over top of her scars causing her to shiver. Her hands slide underneath my tee shirt and breaking the kiss only to slide it over my head. Her hands trace the scars on my chest. She breaks the kiss again and frowns down at them.

"They're only scars. They aren't you fault." She looks like shes about to say something but I cut her off with a kiss. I put more force into this kiss and she moans into my mouth. I echo the moan as her finger nails scratch lightly up and down my arms. I slide her shirt over her head as she begins fiddling with my pants pushing them down to my ankles. When I flip her over and kiss her neck I kick the pants off bunched at my ankles that we restricting my movements. I sit up on my knees and slowly push the sweatpants down her legs along with her knickers. I grin up at her and she grins back before pulling me by my shoulders back down to her and I meet her mouth in a heated kiss. She breaks this kiss as I enter her, and trails down my neck with bites and kisses sucking lightly at my ear lobe. I groan loudly, and her laugh rings out like a bell. As she sucks harder on my neck.

"This is James' bed." She announces after I roll over next to her for the third time. I sit up abruptly.

"He is going to kill us."

"What he doesn't know won't hurt him. I'll wash the bed before he gets home."

I nod and pull her up. "You should eat something, and besides I have to get ready." She reluctantly starts getting dressed as I too start putting on my clothes. When we're both dressed I pull her to me and place another kiss on her lips.

"Mmm I love you." I say against her mouth.

"I love you too." She says, and then screams "HEY!" when I pick her up to carry her down stairs. I enter the kitchen where Rem and Jade are still sitting,

"Hey there!" Zee greets with a smile as I set her down.

"Jade we have to start getting ready to go." I tell her not bothering to sit down. She jumps up and grabs her wand.

"Well I'm ready." She announces.

"Me too."

"Be careful!" Zee calls to me.

"I always am, love."

"Jade if you don't come back in one piece." He warns kissing her.

"Moony I'm a scream away. I'll be there if she needs me."

"You better be." I smile.

"Alright let's go." Jade says.

"Oh and Tell James congrats for me would ya?" I yell to them.

Xx

-Xeomara's POV-

I watch as Sirius and Jade leave the kitchen door. I hear a pop letting me know that they disappirated.

"They'll be okay right?" I ask Moony picking at the food on the table.

"I hope so. I know Sirius wouldn't let anything happen to her. I'd kill him if he did."

"I think I would too." We sit quietly for a few moments. "So are you glad you took a chance?"

"I couldn't be happier. She is so perfect for me. She's my little angel." I smile at him, Remus deserved her. He deserved to be happy.

"Good because I-"

"HELLO!" I hear James yell from the living room. Remus and I exchange a look before both getting up quickly and running to the living room. Lily and James are standing arm in arm grinning madly.

I didn't wait for them to speak I just blurted out. "I told you she'd say yes!"

"Of course I would. Is he thick?" Lily says. I run up and hug them both.

"Congrats. Oh and Sirius told me tell you that as well. Him and Jade just left." I step back to allow Remus to hug and congratulate them.

"So Remus, when's your turn?" He looks shocked.

"M-my t-turn?" he stutters out.

"Well yeah." Lily says with a pointed look on her face. "You know, you proposing to Jade."

"Marriage is a whole different thing Lily. Sure she agreed to be with me, but I haven't met her parents and who knows what they'll think of me. Then the simple fact that I don't have a job. I could never ask her to marry me."

"Remus John Lupin!" I say sternly. "Her parent will love you. And you will find and job, and you will marry her."

"I don't know.." he says trailing off.

"Mate, she loves you. You love her, what's stopping you."

"James." He says pointedly.

"I told you not to let it rule you." I say thinking of the conversation we had the day Remus found me after Regulus' death.

"I want to ask her, I want to be with her for the rest of my life. Let me just meet her parent first then I'll decide."

"She won't care what they think. Everyone always does something their parents don't like." I grin wider and start laughing. "Just look at me!" He cracks a brilliant smile and starts laughing with me.


	38. Panic

I own nothing but my OC's.

Chapter thirty eight- Panic.

"It was truly magical Zee! You have no idea." Lily stops to think that over and then says, "Well you probably do, you planned it didn't you?" I grin sheepishly, and she pulls me into a hug. "Thank you! You made last night amazing! The dinner, all the roses, candles, music! And the ring was beautiful!" I look down at the white gold ring with a large diamond, and little emeralds surrounding it.

"Well we all agreed it fit you perfectly."

"We?" she asked.

"It was a family affair! James, me, Sirius, Remus, and Peter!" She barks out a laugh, then her face turns uneasy.

"I have to tell you something, and I'm not sure if you're going to like it."

"Alright, go on then."

"We decided to have a short engagement." She admits. I raise an eye brow nervously.

"How short exactly?"

She bites her lip, "September." She says in a small voice.

"WHAT?!" I scream loudly. And the door bursts open, and Remus runs through.

"What's wrong?" He asks out of breath.

"September?!" I say in outrage. "September?!"

"What?!" Remus questions surprised. "How'd she figure out? James says that you decided that the best way for her to find out with for him to tell her. And he was going to wait. A while." He adds.

"I couldn't lie to her! She's my maid of honor she has a right to know!" Lily says.

"Exactly I do deserve to do know I mean I am-" I freeze. "I'm your maid of honor?" I ask towards Lily with a huge grin. She smiles back.

"Who else would I ask?" I scrunch my nose up realizing the responsibility.

"You could have asked Jade I mean, I'm terrible at the whole planning thing. I could ruin your wedding and your bachelorette party. It could turn out bad!" My eyes widen. "Lily no! I can't do this! I'll ruin everything! I'll be the worst maid of honor!" She shakes her head back and forth.

"I wish Sirius was awake to calm her down."

"I agree Lily, he'd-"

"Lily!" I protest, interrupting her and Remus.

"You're being my maid of honor."

"But I can't! Honestly Lils, what if-"

"I'm not getting married if you won't be my maid of honor." She says stubbornly.

Thinking of James, I turn to Lily and groan. "Uh! Fine. I'll be your bloody maid of honor. But if this wedding gets messed up don't blame me!" Lily squeals and hugs me.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I pat her back sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah." She pulls back.

"Don't worry! You'll have help, I'm not going to let you plan it alone. I'll help, and I'm sure my mum will, and of course Jade and Alice."

"Alice?" I ask unsure.

"Oh don't get hung up about that silly thing she said. She was just so used to you being an egoistical toe rag." I raise my eye brow at the insult but choose not to say anything. "And she's my friend and I need her as brides maid!" I roll my eyes.

"Fine, fine. Your wedding."

"I was thinking that we should-"

"Oh no. Wedding talk. I believe it's my queue to leave." Remus says quickly walking out the door.

"Wedding talk?" I say with a frown.

"Quiet you!" Lily scolds. I make a face and sit down on my bed. "Okay so I think the safest place for us to do it would be here, in the back yard. We could set it up so the audience is facing the lake. We'd have a little platform set up for us, and we'd have chairs for the guests." I nod.

"Seems simple."

"Then we could have orchids on the walk way, candles also lining it, a large arch way, balloons, then we could have a makeshift dance floor, and tables circling around it. Then a head table in the front where we'd be sitting."

"Did I say simple?"

"And a band of course." She says ignoring me. "We'd need drinks and a caterer."

"Oooh Wedding talk!" Jade says walking in the room, finally waking up from when she got home this morning at 4. The door is still left open so I watch Sirius walk by.

"Sirius!" He stops and looks in nervously. "Help me!" He looks past me to Lily and whatever was on her face made him shrink back.

"Sorry no can do!" He says rushing towards his room.

"I hate you Sirius Black!"

"You love me Xeomara Black!" He says laughing, before his door slams.

"I hate him." I grumble turning back towards the girls. They both had big smiles on their faces.

"You two are so cute together!" Lily exclaims.

"I don't know why you won't get married."

"Because I don't- Nevermind. Anyway you were saying." I prompt Lily. Who completely forgets about bombarding me with a wedding I don't want and starts writing down a list of things we need. I try to tune most of it out but well, she needs my input so I try to listen as much as possible.

By three she finally lets me leave, and I head right to Sirius' room. He's sleeping on the bed face down into his pillow. I look and see James is sleeping in the same position on his bed. I tip toe over to his bed and slide in next to him. His body immediately responds to mine and curls up next to me. I grin and wrap my arms around his waist. His eyes blink open and meet mine.

"Not mad at me?" He whispers with a grin. I scowl. "Oh don't try being mad now. I know you've forgiven me for leaving you in there."

I smile, "Good I didn't feel like acting like I was mad at you." His hands rub my back. "How was patrolling?"

"Boring, I would have welcomed a few death eaters." I nod my head.

"Trust me I felt the same way. I'm going to die of boredom tonight. I'm not sure what is worse planning a wedding or patrolling. It might come a close tie."

"James made me best man." I lean forward and kiss him.

"I knew he'd make you best man! Did you here when they're planning it for-"

"September. I know."

"I freaked. I scared Remus half to death he thought something happened to me. Sprinted right into the room." He barks out a laugh.

"Yeah I did to but James-"

"Wants you to get out and let him SLEEP!" James yells getting louder with each word.

"Merlin, Jimmy. No need to shout. A simple please be quiet and leave would have been nice."

"I know I don't understand why you yelled. I'm hurt prongs!" Sirius says on a whine.

"Please." James begs. "Just please get out."

"Fine, fine." I say getting out of bed and pulling Sirius with me. We head towards the living room where the rest of our friends were.

"So Lils, how long ya staying?" I ask sitting down next to her.

"James kick you out? I thought I heard his yelling." She says when I nod. "Um not sure, I told my mum I'd be home sometime next week. She can't really say anything now that I'm engaged." She says admiring her engagement ring. I exchange a look with Sirius who looked ready to crack up.

"Um speaking of mums Remus." Jade starts looking down, and wringing her hands together. "I think it's time you met my parents." I looked towards Remus who's faced turned into a blank wall. "And well they wanted me to come home tonight for dinner, and I thought it'd be the perfect time."

That brings emotion on his face. First was shock, second was uncertainty, third was anger. "Tonight?" she nods. "You told me- what time is dinner?"

"6." She answers with a sheepish smile.

"So you told me about 3 hours before dinner that you want me to meet your parents." She nods. "You're crazy! I need time to prepare for this! You can't just spring this on me. I mean what if I say something stupid. Do they know I'm a werewolf? What if they hate me? Or worse, what if they're repulsed by me?!-" He says starting to panic. She swallows thickly, and looks towards me for help.

"Remus." I say stopping his rant. "They'll love you. You should go."

"Really Remus, I'm sure it will go fine. They'll have no choice but to love you." Lily says her bright green orbs staring into his.

"Moony, I'm going to say this simply." He looks at Sirius waiting for him to continue. "Suck it up mate." He gives Sirius a look. "What I'm just being honest!" he yells out.

"Don't listen to Padfoot." Jade says.

"Rocky! That was mean I give good advice!" He says to Jade.

"Rocky?!" Lily and I ask in unison.

"Well sure! We all have nicknames. Mines Padfoots, James' prongs, Pete's wormtail, Remus' moony, Zee's stripes and Lily's flower. Jade needed one too. And since a jade is a rock-'

"It's a stone!" All four of us say together.

"Yeah exactly what I said a rock. I decided on Rocky. I think it fits." I just shake my head.

"Sirius it's a-"

"Don't bother, you'll never get through that thick skull." I tell Jade looking at Sirius with a questioning glaze.

"Anyway, you know what listen to Sirius. He's right! You'll be fine! And sure maybe I should have told you sooner but I was nervous and they suggested I bring you. Don't make me look like a fool and show up alone. My mother is eight months pregnant and she's hormonal. She'll nag me about why you're not there. And my dad will yell at me for making her upset. So please just come!" She begs. I watch Remus, stare at her for a second before leaning forward and kissing her forehead.

"Fine, I'll go." She smiles at him. "What should I wear-"

"Muggle clothes." She answers. "We should start getting ready." And then they're both jumping up quickly from the couch sprinting towards the stairs.

"You have three hours why get ready now?" Lily yells.

"We uh-urm have some last minute details to work out!" Remus yells back.

"What details?" Lily asks. Sirius and I exchange looks.

"They're going to shag flower." I state bluntly. She makes a look of disgust.

"Gross, image that I don't need! Thanks!" She says. I just shrug.

"What time is it?" I suddenly ask after a few minutes of silence.

"About 4." I jump up.

"Shit!" I running towards the door.

"Where are _you_ going?" Lily yells exasperated.

"Knockturn alley!" I yell back. "I'll be home at around 12!"

"I love you!" Sirius yells.

"Yeah, yeah! Love you too." I say as I slam the door closed, I turn on the spot. I blink my eyes open after landing in knockturn alley and staring at all the wizards.

"I think I'd rather be planning a wedding." I mutter to myself.

Xx

A weeks gone by since I became a member of the order and nothing's happened yet. All we've been doing so far is patrolling. Jade stared her training for healing yesterday and she loves it. I picked up her shift for patrolling when she's working. I figured why not I don't have anything else to do until July when my training to become an auror starts. Jade's parents loved Remus, which was no surprise to us but a big surprise to him. He doesn't understand how anything of this worked for him. He doesn't believe he deserves happiness and that sure as hell makes me want to hit him. Of course he deserves happiness. We decided that we were going to stay with him to transform and we'd still be allowed to use the shrieking shack. Which worked towards our advantage. Not that Dumbledore knew we were animagi.

"Zee!" A voice hisses. I whip my head around and start walking towards the sound of someone whispering my name. I stop abruptly when I run into someone or something very hard and fall right on my arse.

"Dammit." I hiss in pain.

"Oh I'm so sorry Zee!" A voice I now recognize as Lily says offering me up a hand from mid air.

"James' cloak?" I ask as I stand up.

"Yeah."

"With this new extra shift I took I'm beat I'm going to head back."

"You really shouldn't have taken that shift! There is other people that would have taken it! You were at Hogwarts from 12-11 and now tonight you went from 4-12. You slept three and a half hours today!" I roll my eyes. "Just because you can't see me, doesn't mean I can't see you."

"I'm leaving. See you at 11. Our meetings at 8, I'll wake you up around 7." I add in a whisper. I assume she nodded.

"Bye." I turn on the spot and head up to the house and unlock the door. When I enter all the lights are off and the house is completely quiet. I slowly walk up the stairs and only to stop when I see a dark figure in front of me heading towards Jade's room. Only to start again when I realize it's Remus.

"Merlin, you almost gave me a heart attack." I tell him with a grin.

"My bad." He says, "Just getting home?"

"Yeah, it was pretty deserted tonight. Not a death eater in sight."

"Same here, well you should get some sleep you only slept about 3-"

"I know, I already got the speech from Lily." I kiss him on the cheek and start heading towards Sirius' room. "Night."

"Night." He says as I close the door. I walk over to Sirius' bed and not even bothering to get changed I slip right into bed and close my eyes.

"You're home." Sirius says sleepily, kissing my nose.

"Yep, I say snuggling into his shoulder. A minute later his snores echo through the room, mingling with James' and I finally fall asleep.

Xx

I blink my eyes open as I hear the dorm close. Lily is walking sleepily towards James' bed, where he's face down still sleeping. She puts a finger to her lips telling me to be quiet. I nod and turn to look for Sirius who isn't next to me. She points down stairs noticing my startled expression. I nod and walk quietly into the bathroom and strip of my clothes and hop into the warm shower. I stay in there for a while letting the warm water soak through my sore skin. Until finally getting out and quickly wand drying my hair, and then I head to my room to slip on a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt of Remus'.

"Hey love." Sirius says slipping his arms around my waist when I enter the kitchen. I bring his face towards mine and leave a long kiss before walking over to make some tea.

"Hey Sirius, Remus." I say noticing Remus sitting tiredly in his chair drinking black coffee.

"Zee, what time do we have to go tonight?" He asks.

"8." I reply, while making some toast for breakfast. "I wish Jade wasn't working yet, she always had a good breakfast made by the time I woke up."

"Yeah same here." Remus replies. "Guys." He says after a moment. I stop and turn towards him at the sound of worry in his voice. I walk to him.

"Remmie?" I say grabbing his hand. "What's wrong?"

"I-I need your help."

"Of course mate, what is it?" Sirius says.

"I think I'm going to propose to Jade." I smack his arm. "Hey! What was that for?!" He yells.

"For making me worry, you toe rag! I thought something was seriously wrong with you!" I tell him shaking my head.

"Well, I need help picking out the ring, and how to do it." I nod absently. "You helped James!"

"Helped James with what?" James says entering the kitchen in only sweatpants.

"Moony wants to propose to Jade." James lets out a whoop of excitement!

"That's wicked mate."

"Of course we'll help." I tell him. "James go get a shirt on and Sirius owl Peter." They both raise their eye brows.

"Why?" I grin.

"We're going ring shopping."

Xx

"I can't believe I'm shopping for an engagement ring." Remus mutters.

"Better believe it mate, because you are." I tell him with a smile. While I scan over the rings in the muggle jewelry store.

"I don't want something to big."

"Mate if it's the price." Sirius starts.

"No it's not the price!" Remus says loudly. "I'd pay anything for a ring for her, but it's just I don't think she's that kind of girl. I think she's more about the little things." I nod in agreement.

"Moony's right. No big rings. Simple rings." I command as we separate and walk all over the store looking at the selections.

"Ooh I found one!" Peter says. We all walk over to him and stare at a thin gold band with a small square cut diamond.

"It's beautiful." I say admiring the simple ring.

"It is, except I think I found a better one." Remus says leading us over to where he was standing. He points down to a gold band with an oval shaped diamond. And I smiled, something about this ring definitely said Jade.

"You're right. It's perfect." Sirius says looking at the ring.

"Excuse me Miss?" I call down to the sales woman. "We'll take this one."

Xx

"Where have you been?!" Lily demands as we walk in the door a little after seven. Making sure Jade is nowhere in sight I lean in and whisper.

"Remus is proposing to Jade!" She jumps up and down excitedly and hugs Remus.

"Oh that's wonderful. But that doesn't explain while you were gone all day!"

"We went out to eat, and did some planning. Bought some things he'd need for the special night." She nods.

"Oh, well you should start getting ready. The meeting starts in a half hour." I nod and start heading up to my room. I quickly change into a pair of black robes, and head back down stairs.

"Remus!" A voice says from behind me and Jade walks pasts and throws her arms around Remus and kisses him. I turn towards Sirius and grin, he smiles back and takes my hand. "Where've you been?"

"We all went out to lunch and stuff, just hung around." He answers smoothly.

"Oh no, looks like our lying skills caught on to him." Sirius nods.

"Such a shame. He was always such an honest boy." He whispers back, I crack up.

"What's so funny?" James asks us curiously.

"Nothing. Nothing." I say in between laughs.

"Alright anyway." Jade says giving us a look. "I'm just going to grab something to eat real fast and then we can go."

Twenty minutes later I found myself walking up to the burrow.

"I really love this place." I say pulling on Sirius' hand.

"Me too love." He then adds casually, "You know since James and Lily are getting married in September I think we should actually start looking for some place to live." My heart stops and I grin at him.

"You really mean it?" He smiles down at me.

"Well I know James wouldn't kick us out, but we're basically married as well and I figured we should get a place of our own anyway."

"I'd love too." He leans down and kisses me, before we walk towards the door.

"What's with that goofy smile?" James asks as he takes him seat across from us.

"Zee and I decided we were going to start looking for our own place." James frowns.

"Are you sure you're ready. Maurie that's a big step and well-"I roll my eyes.

"James you're just saying that because you're playing protective big brother roll. I'll be fine, besides Sirius and I are pretty much married anyway." He nods.

"Well if you really want too."

"I think it's great. That way when James' here gets on my nerves, I have some place to go to. I would never dream of voluntarily entering my own home." Lily says.

"Fine I see how it is if you think-"

"Hello everyone! Welcome back. We're missing two member but we've already waited long enough. They'll catch up when they arrive." Albus says standing up from his seat at the head of the table. "I'd like to go around the table and listen to everyone's reports on their week. If you'd start Hestia I'd-"

"Albus!" My sister says running through the door, her husband following behind.

"Amanda what-" He starts.

"We don't have much time! The death eaters! They're going to Diagon Alley! I only just got away!" Panic rises through the room at the announcement. I fidget in my seat, and my head shoot towards James' and our eyes lock. His thoughts pour in to my head as mine poor into his. But I know he's ready, and I am too. He nods and turns to Dumbledore as I do the same.

"Hurry quickly and go back. Don't blow your cover." She nods and with a loud crack they're gone.

"Everyone stay calm. I'm assigning groups. When I say you're name and place appariate there quickly. She's right we don't have much time. Hestia, Amelia, Alastor, and I will be the first group. The alley behind the bookstore. I'll meet you there. Molly, Arthur, Fabian, and Gideon. The ice cream shop." They nod and with a crack they're also gone. He turns to us. "Lily, James, Zee, Sirius, Peter, Remus, and Jade. I know you're a large group but I want you all together." I nod and stand up along with my mates and wait for my location. "Ollivanders." I think of the wand shop and with a crack I'm gone.

I appear in the alley beside the wand store with my mates appearing at the same time beside me. I can already hear the battle taking place. The cracking and breaking of windows, screams, and the sounds of spells colliding in mid air. We walk to the front of the alley in silence. James and Sirius on either side of me.

"Ready?" Lily asks. We all raise our wands; my breathing gets heavy as adrenaline starts rushing through my body.

"Let's go." Jade says. In unison we all step out from the alley into the chaos of the battle.


	39. Death Eaters at Diagon Alley

I own nothing but my OC'S!

Chapter thirty nine- Death Eater at Diagon Alley.

I watch my friends around me as they duel, Lily duels with determination, James with pure anger, Jade with a carefree way, Remus with a blank face, Peter who looks frightened and Sirius who duels with arrogance. He has a large smirk on his face and he laughs every once in a while. It makes me wonder what I look like when I duel. I suspect it's something like a mixture of James and Sirius but I'll-

"Shouldn't you be paying attention to your own duel Raes?" I tall masked figure asks me. The voice sounds familiar but I can't pick it up.

"I don't need to pay attention to win this duel. Nice try though." I say as we slash our wands in the air, blocking and sending out spells quickly. He sends out a spell I've never seen before that misses me by inches. The shock written on my face was enough to make him laugh. I recognized that laugh.

"Snivelly!" I yell loudly. He looks shocked that I recognize him which makes me laugh. "Didn't think I'd recognize you did you?" He doesn't answer as we circle each other, our wands pointed at the other's chest. "Of course I would, I made it my life goal in school to make you miserable. I'll always know who you are."

"Raes, this is school anymore. You can't beat me out here." He shoots another spell of quickly and I deflect it with a flick of my wand. He stumbles back.

"Don't make me laugh snape. You will never beat me. You couldn't in school and you couldn't out here. Just because you're one of Voldemorts men. Oh how sick that makes me." I say my blue eyes flashing dangerously.

"Sectumsempra!" he yells loudly a blue light comes towards me in hits me on the arm, where blood starts pouring relentlessly.

"Stupefy! You nasty old git!" And suddenly snape is on the ground unconscious. I turn towards the voice and see Lily with her wand pointed at Snapes chest. "Incarcerous!" Ropes tie around his body.

"Thanks Lils." I say attempting to wipe the blood that keeps flowing from my arm.

"Anytime." I look around noticing that we're alone.

"Where are the others?" She too looks around, and spots some death eaters coming our way.

"We must have lost them!" She yells to me.

"We need to go find them what if-" I stop as six masked figures approach us.

"Dammit!" I yell as they all start firing spells at us. I block as many as I can while some of them hit me, I send some back just as quickly narrowly missing them and some hitting the target but we keep dueling. Lily and I were each dueling three death eaters at a time. I put an extra spin on my wand and shoot one of the death eaters so far back that he goes through a shop window screaming as he does. I couldn't help but smirk a little.

"You think that's funny Raes?" I shake my head and send out another curse that was deflected making me stumble back.

"Naturally!" I yell as I block another curse silently. I peek a glance at Lily as I do she levitates the one guys' body and swings back and lets go. The body flies about 10 feet and hits another shop window. There is no way in hell he survived that. I grin at her.

"Excellent Lily." She grins back.

"Thanks Zee!"

"You two think you're so arrogant don't you." Says one of the death eaters I'm dueling.

"Oh Sod off!" I say sending a stunner his way that misses.

"Stupefy!" I scream again.

"Protego!" he yells back. I start send some of the curses I've never used before, the ones I've only read about and hope to merlin they work.

"You shouldn't know these spells! How do you know these spells!" I grin but don't answer as I keep them coming. One of them finally hits the mark. A blue light comes out of my wand and picks him in a fury of wind. He flies back a good twenty feet before he smacks on the concrete.

"Stupefy!" I hear a voice from behind me, letting me know Lily stunned one of her death eaters as I hear a loud thud.

"Crucio!" This time I know it's Lily, I hear her fall beside me and start screaming loudly. I turn my wand on the guys only to be hit by another curse that cuts open the side of my cheek. I send a spell back to him, that he deflects and I put on an extra boost of power so I can get to Lily. But the guy doubles mine.

"Dammit!" I yell as she screams again. I keep throwing spells left and right as my fury builds. My blood is boiling with each scream I hear.

"Stupefy!" This spell I sent had so much power that he too flew almost twenty feet. Without thinking I turn my wand on the other death eater.

"Avada Kedarva!" I scream and the death eater torturing Lily crumples to the floor dead. It's at the moment that I realized what I've done. My wand hand starts shaking as I stare into the blank face of the death eater who's masked had falling off. That is someone's father, someone family member and I killed him. I swallow thickly, and I feel someone grab my shaking hand. My head shoots up and I stare into the tired brilliant green eyes of Lily.

"Zee?" I swallow the lump in my throat before answering her.

"I-I killed someone." The rest of my body starts to shake, Lily clamps her hand on my shoulder to stop the shaking.

"You killed someone who was hurting me. He didn't deserve to live after what he's done to people." I shake my head. "Xeomara listen to me!" she commands. And I do. "Xeomara know is not the time to lose composer! Get a hold of yourself we got a battle going on. Don't think about what you did because you can't change it now." I nod. "We need to go find the others." She grabs my hand and we start sprinting in the opposite direction.

I sprint past Molly who is dueling with skill, twisting and twirling her wand every which way blocking and sending curses as fast as she can, past Albus who was dueling five death eaters at a time clearly winning, past Arthur who had just stunned his death eater and picked up and another, past aberforth who was screaming names at his death eaters as he dueled them which reminded me strangely of Sirius. We keep running shooting stunners out of our wands hoping to hit people as we pass, but we don't stop to look to see if they actually hit. We come to a complete halt as a stunner narrowly misses Lily's head.

"Good reflexes mudblood." I hear a drawing voice from the left side of me. We both turn towards two masked death eaters but the mistakable voice and the long blonde hair give them away.

"Black. Malfoy." I greet.

"Ah I knew you'd recognize us." Malfoy says stepping closer, Narcissa following his lead. I roll my eyes.

"Shame Snape didn't think so." I mutter and he stops where he's walking. "Scared to take of that mask malfoy? Scared for everyone to see you're a death eater. Is that why you lot where your masks? We duel without them. We're not scared. You're nothing but a bunch of cowardly slytherins." I finish. I can tell he's glaring from behind the mask.

"Impedimenta!" he screams, at the same time I scream, "Flipendo!" The spells collide mid air with a loud boom. I can hear Lily and Narcissa screaming spells and jinxs at one another, as I face malfoy again.

"Locomotor mortis!" He screams, and suddenly my legs are locked together.

"Dammit! Lily!" I yell she turns around after quickly, and points her wand at me. "Finite!" The spells is broken and I can move my legs again.

"Expelliarmus!" I say pointing my wand at Malfoy. His wand is sent flying into the air with the force of my spell, landing somewhere behind him.

"No wand Malfoy?" I taunt. "Stupefy!" He crumples towards the ground unconscious.

"How dare you!" Narcissa screams and tries to get past Lily and towards me but Lily isn't having it. Her face is contorted with pure anger as she duels Narcissa, spinning, and block spells. Her wand slashing quickly through the air.

"I'll get her Cissy." I hear and look away from Lily towards the figure in front of me; I can already tell it's my cousin Maria just by the sound of her voice. She takes off her mask anyway. Her cold black eyes stare at me, and I stare back.

"Oh really Maria." I say referring to what she had just said to Narcissa. "You really think you could beat me in a duel?" She laughs loudly.

"Why of course I can cousin! I used to beat you all time as a child of have you forgotten." I stiffen as she mentions my childhood. She's right though. All the times my mother would take my wand away and let my cousins and sisters curse me until I was conscious. I can't even count how many times that's happened.

"This time is different." I tell her.

"How so?" She says with a smile.

"I have a wand." She regards it as nothing.

"Not for long!" Then we're going at it. Sending different jets of light at each other hoping to disarm each other before the other does. And finally after a few minutes I feel the wand flying from my fingers and I watch in horror as it lands in her hand.

"Not so different now is it?" I couldn't speak, all I could do was stare as she advances her way over. I couldn't believe I couldn't beat her. I let my fear of my family and what she told me get into my head. That was exactly how she planned it. She planned it get into my head. I close my eyes, as she walks over and starts hitting me with curses and jinxs nothing that would cause lasting damage but it sure hurt like a bitch at the time.

"I'm bored." She declares. "Stupefy!" and then my world goes back.

Xx

"Ennervate!" I hear someone screaming at me, but I can't move yet. "Ennervate!" Still nothing. "Dammit Zee! Wake up, I need you! We have to find the others! Ennervate!" She screams again and this time it's like a rush of life hits my body and I gasp a full breath of air and my eyes blink open.

"Lily?" She nods and grabs my hand lifting me up.

"Hurry!" She says as we start walking quickly still firing hexes as we go.

"How long was I out for?"

"Not even two minutes I stunned Narcissa the second you fell unconscious, then I threw Maria through a window and that where we're at now." I nod and she grabs my hand to keep my steady. Nothing hits us, we dodge spells and send them back as we run and finally I see them.

"Lily!" I say and point at where they are. I see relief flood her face. She has a split lip, and a black eye forming but she doesn't stop running. James is in battle with a short and stumpy death eater, Remus and Jade are both dueling Bellatrix, and Sirius is dueling two death eaters. And I couldn't see Peter anywhere.

"Locomotor mortis!" I yell to one death eater that was dueling Sirius. He evaded the jet of life and sent one back. I run closer landing next to Sirius and he turns towards me.

"Oh thank Merlin." He says to me. "We couldn't find you and I was scared that-"

"Not the time Sirius. I'm okay." I say as I block another jet of light. I see him nod out of the corner of my eye. Lily flies past me laughing as she does, and stuns the death eater I was dueling.

"What gives Lil?" I yell. "I was just going to stun him!" But she just laughs and I join her laughter. Sirius stuns his death eater and turns to look at me.

"You're a bloody mess." He says examining my wounds. "Literally." I look over his bruised and bloody body.

"You look about the same I'm sure." He looks at me again before a bubble of laughter hit his lips.

"Honestly! What death eater hit you with a stinging jinx?" I join him in laughing.

"Maria, I'll tell you about that later."

"Oh little sister!" I hear a cold voice call. I turn my head and see the death eaters part ways for my sister and her husband to walk through. They nod they're head in respect. I'm disgusted.

"Jessica." I say in greeting. "Daniel." I add to her husband. "Right now you look so much like you did when we were kids. Did you meet Maria along the way?" My body stiffens and I glare back at her. I was not going to let her get in to my head. "You must have, you're going for that oh I don't give a damn look." My expression turn startled. "I am your sister you know. I've lived with you since birth. I know your facial expression especially because I've seen it so many times after you know our parents got to you." The death eaters that were once dueling my friends hiss out a laugh. They all stood there watching me.

"My parents are dead!" I yell out.

"No matter how much you want them to be your parents. They're not. And right now they won't ever be!" And then she starts to laugh. My blood boils and my eyes flash. I send a curse at her but she quickly blocks it.

"Now now." She says, with a smile. "I want to propose a challenge." I look to the faces of the death eaters and I can tell that it was probably planned so I told her so.

"Don't act all spontaneous. This isn't something you made up because by the looks of your little friends it was either an order or you planned it yourself." She smiles again.

"You always were a smart little thing. It's a little of both actually." She says. "The dark lord ordered it, but I worked out the finer details." Suddenly the six death eaters circle us. My friends also in on the circle wondering what was going on. I could see the confusion on Sirius face and in James' eyes.

"Ordered what exactly?" Her smile is cold.

"Your death." I manage not cringe at her words.

"Oh and then finer details?"

"Well I think we should have a duel."

"Sounds reasonable." I tell her.

"You're missing the most important part. We don't stop," she starts. "Until one of us is dead." I glare at her, while her husband laughs beside her. Thinking it over, well I already killed someone tonight. Why not kill her too, but she was my sister how in the hell was I supposed to kill her. "Coward." She mutters and that sets me off. I was no coward.

"I'm in." I hear a loud protest coming from James as he screams out curses at my sister.

"James be quiet!" I yell. His eyes meet mine and he's pleading with me not to do this. I have to I tell him. I just have too. He looks away clearly angry but at this point I don't care.

"Shall we get started?" She asks. I nod, a second later we're dueling with all we got. Curses were being shot left and right hoping to disarm each other or render us motionless so we could say those two words that would end the whole thing. I myself was trying to get around it. I sent a red jet of light at her, but she deflects it.

"Were you not listening to the rules?!" She yells as a green jet of light flies at me. It misses by inches. She looks shocked. I don't answer her as she continues throwing more jets of green lights. She's flinging them off quickly with her wand.

"Avada Kedarva! Avada Kedavra!" Is the only sound that's being made, as I dodge each one. I could feel the words building up on my own lips. And I could tell it was time. I dodge one more jet of green light before screaming,

"AVADA KEDARVA!" A green jet of light shoots from my own wand and hits my sister square in the chest. She falls to the ground where she stood with a smirk across her face. Suddenly the world get's shaky for me. I drop my wand as my hand shakes so bad that I can't hold it, and I walk over to my sister's body. Her eyes are staring up at me. I swallow back bile that rises to my throat.

"I don't think so!" I hear a voice say. I'm pretty sure it was Jade but I didn't raise my head. The next think I knew her husband was failing down next to her. I assumed it was jade who stunned him. Then spells and various curses were shot, but I kept staring at her face. Suddenly it was quiet and I couldn't work out why. I noticed bare feet in front of me and I worked my way up the long dark robes and then finally I stared in to the eyes of Voldemort. And he was laughing.

"I knew you had it in you." He tells me as I stand up, and take a step back. "I ordered her to kill you tonight in hopes that you would finish her off. I was curious about you, you see." I keep staring at the spot where his nose should be and I have to try and bite of my laughter. It gets too much and then before I know it I'm laughing hysterically.

"Zee, what are you doing?" Sirius asks from a little behind me.

"What is so funny?" Voldemort asks glaring a whole in my head.

"I hit the mark!" I say in between bursts of laughter. He seems to understand what I meant, but everyone else was clueless.

"What are you going on about?" James asks angrily.

I ignore him. "I love your nose." I tell Voldemort. Then everyone seems to get it because they're laughing. I then take time to notice that the death eaters were all unconscious on the ground and that my friends must have won.

"Care to finish what we started?" He asks casually. I turn my back on him, and see my wand a little ways behind me. I pick it up slowly and twirl the black wood between my fingers. Acting as if I'm not about to duel one of the most wanted man in England.

"Yes." I answer. It becomes quiet again.

"Well I presume we shall bow to one another, yes?" He asks. I nod and we lower our backs into a bow, and then before I know what I'm doing I point my wand at his chest.

"Ventusdium!" I yell and a large gust of wind picks up and circles around Voldemort. He blows it back adding fire into the mix. It comes my way circling around each other until it's nothing but fire and it grows larger.

"Protego." I think in my mind and it's deflected disappearing in mid air. I hear someone breathe a sigh of relief behind me.

"Impressive. You my dear have the best shield charm I have ever seen." He says firing curses off quickly. I only just manage to block them, and one gets passed my guard. The pain shoot through my shoulder and before I can stop myself I let out a loud scream and fall to my knees holding my right shoulder with my hand.

"Zee!" Remus screams. I couldn't answer him it felt like, it felt like my shoulder was on fire but clearly there was no fire there.

"It hurts doesn't it?" Voldemort asks me. I'm take short breaths of air trying to control the pain. "What does it feel like I wonder?" I grit my teeth against the pain but answer him none the less.

"It feels like my shoulder is on fire." Sirius gasps from behind me.

"That's because it is." He answers.

"Impossible." I say shaking my head.

"Your shoulder muscles right now as we speak are on fire. The fire will spread to every muscle in your body until you are dead." I close my eyes in pain, and try standing up again, but he's right. It's spreading and quickly. The whole pain shoots down my right arm and I can't hold my wand anymore.

"Tom!" I hear a voice from behind me and manage to breathe out in relief I'm saved. Albus bursts through the circle. He spots me on the ground and does a double take.

"Take her and go! You've done enough! I'll meet you at the manor!" And I know he's talking about our house. Him and Voldemort start to duel and I'm mesmerized. They way they moved their wands like a dance, and I wanted to keep watching.

"We have to go!" Remus yells, he swings his arms down and picks me up cradling me against his body as he starts to run, as if shielding me from the curses still ringing out in the air. We make it behind and alley way and before I know it I'm being suffocated and squeezed very tightly before I land with a pop in my living room. I moan against the pain that was now going to my back.

Remus sets me on the couch, "Dammit, Zee!" he curses shaking his head. And then Sirius is there stroking my hair and kissing my forehead.

"You're okay, you're okay." He says as I keep moaning from the pain. My mind slowly slipping.

"Where the hell is Dumbledore!" I hear James scream.

"James stop yelling calm down." Lily pleads.

"NO! I won't bloody stop yelling. We need a healer we need someone!" He stops and then screams, "Jade."

"J-James." I open my eyes and see that he's walking towards Jade; he takes her hand and stares into her eyes. I can tell he's begging.

"Heal her." He pleads. "Please heal her."

"James, I don't know anything about that spell I only just started training I can't-"

"Please try! Think back on everything you know." She nods as a tear escapes her eye.

-Remus' POV-

"Please try!" James pleads again, and I watch as Jade nods and walks over to Zee wiping a tear from her eyes only for her to flinch back as Zee lets out a scream of agony. I cringe against the sound never wanting to hear that sound come out of anyone again.

"Please!" James yells his face contorted in pain. I don't know if my suspicions are true about them being able to read each other's mind but right now I swear he is feeling her pain.

"Zee." Jade says taking her hand. "Zee look at me." Zee barely blinks open her eyes. "Where is the pain?"

"Whole right arm." She says in a huff of breath. "Traveling down my back." I close my eyes.

"Which side?"

"Right, only right." She answers. I open my eyes against the stinging as she continues to moan in pain. Sirius kept whispering reassurances in her ear and stroking her hair.

"The only thing I can suggest it a numbing potion to stop the pain for now but other than that-" Two loud cracks enter the room. And I turn to see Dumbledore and Hestia Jones standing there.

"Oh thank Merlin! Hestia!" Jade says. And then with a jolt I realize Hestia is a healer.

"Jade, I need you to go to St. Mungos, use my card and got to the potions cabinet. In the back there is an assortment of potions for dark arts spells. There is one box that says Includo Flamma. Get the box and bring it back here as soon as you can!" Jade nods and with a crack she's gone.

"Xeomara." Hestia says. "Stay awake." Zee blinks her eyes open. "Someone talk to her, I need to talk to Albus." No one makes a move to talk to her so I take Hestia's place and kneel at her side.

"Stripes, hey stripes!" I say loudly enough so he can hear me. She opens her eyes again and smiles.

"Moony." She breathes.

"I'm here, and you need to stay with me. Stay with us okay. It's important to be awake." She nods and a tears slips down her cheeks that I wipe away.

"I can't watch this!" James yells walking out of the room. Lily stands up and quickly follows him.

"I think its karma." She tells me a sad smile on her face.

"Karma? Why would you say something like that? What did you do to deserve this?"

"I killed my sister tonight." She says as more tears slip down her face. I could tell how much pain she was in, but I knew nothing would stop that so I didn't say anything. She lets out another loud moan. "My leg! My leg!" She yells.

"Hestia!" I scream and Hestia runs back into the room Albus following along with James and Lily.

"It moved to her leg." Her eyes widen.

"Dammit. It's moving more quickly that I thought. I'll have to start the healing process without the potions for now." I stand up and let Jones take my spot. Sirius has tears on his face.

"Come on mate, let's go get some tea for when Zee get's up." He shakes his head but allows me to help him up anyway. We walk into the kitchen, James and Lily behind us. I noticed something.

"Where is Peter?" Lily's eye brows go up.

"Peter?" She asks worriedly and with a crack she's gone.

"Lily!" James yells, but she's already gone. "Fuck." James swears and rubs his temples. Another loud crack sends us all running in to the other room. Jade was back and was handing Hestia potion after potion. All of Zee's clothes were ripped off and she was laying on the stomach. Jade was rubbing lotion all down her back, arm, and leg. Jade picks up another potion and repeats the process. While Hestia is moving her wand in the circles running over the same route. Zee was still moaning. Sirius ran over towards her head and began talking to her.

"Hey Zee, you're alright. You're alright."

"Sirius." She pleads, as groan rips through her lips. Suddenly Lily is standing with and conscious Peter. She walks up stairs and I assume she is putting him to bed. Good, I think. He's okay.

Jade rubs a wet cloth down Zee's back, leg, and arm before Hestia flips her over. She tilts her head and opens her mouth. "Drink this." She pours it down her throat and once she's finished Zee lays her head back in relief.

"The fire gone?" Zee sits up on her own and smiles.

"Thank you Hestia, Jade. I owe you one."

"That's what we're here for." Hestia replies with a smile. "Take this potion every day for a week. And you're good to go." She turns towards Albus. "See you tomorrow." He nods and then she walks towards the front door, and I hear it slam shut.

"Tomorrow?" I ask. Albus turns to me.

"There were two deaths tonight. We all look towards him, but I stare at Zee and see how her face is contorted with pain. "Gideon and Fabian Prewett." I close my eyes and blink back the tears. I knew them ever since I went to Hogwarts. They were the funniest boys I've ever met. Always making everyone laugh.

Zee gets up without a word and walks towards the kitchen door, it swings open and then I hear the back door open and close. Sirius starts to get up to go after her when Jade says, "Sirius let me heal some of those for you." And I knew she was doing it to give Zee some privacy. Lily however gets up and walks outside followed by Dumbledore, and I'm wondering if they know something we don't know. They're out there for awhile. Jade begins to heal all of our cuts and bruises. She's walks over to me and starts applying pressure on my split lip.

"Sorry." She says as I cringe. I just nod and let her continue. A loud pounding on the door makes me jump back. I look towards James who is favoring his right ankle and towards Sirius who is half asleep.

"I'll get it." I walk over to door and pull it open. In front of me stands a woman I have only seen once in my life, but haven't figured out where. She's tall and slim with long blonde hair and dark brown eyes. The cold expression of her face makes me remember where I've seen her. And a memory rolls through my mind of the summer before sixth year when we were standing in a kitchen while she looked down at us as if we were nothing. I look at her in shock. Her lips curve into a smirk.

"Mrs. Raes?"


	40. Orion Black

I own nothing but my OC'S!

Chapter forty- Orion Black.

"Xeomara!" Lily yells from behind me. I wasn't surprised to see that her and Dumbledore followed me outside. I don't answer her, I just squat down and run my fingers through the lake water.

"Xeomara." Albus says softer. I don't turn towards them, but this time I tell them what I'm thinking.

"I killed two people tonight. Two people that had family, and who had people that loved them."

"You killed two people, who tortured and killed for their own amusement." Lily answered heatedly. "They deserved it."

"Did they?" I ask with bitter amusement.

"Of course they did! Your sister Zee-" I cringe and turn to face them both, she didn't stop. "Did everything she could to growing up. She made your life miserable. She wasn't a sister to you. She was trying to kill _you_!"

"It doesn't change the fact that I killed two people Lily!" I say cradling my arm that was still sore.

"Yes but-"

"I'm just like them! You heard Voldemort. He told me he knew I had it in me. He knew I was going to kill her! I'm a horrible person!"

"You are not a bad person Xeomara." I blink tears out of my eyes. "I told you there would come a time where you would have to kill someone. And I told you that you wouldn't do it unless you had to. You did nothing wrong. You only fought for what you believed in." He stopped and thought something through before saying it. "Everyone has it in them to kill someone. You, Xeomara killed someone who tortured you since you were younger. When you couldn't fight back. Of course you would kill her. It's only natural to want to hurt someone who hurt us back. And if I was told correctly that was the rules of the duel." I swallow the lump in my throat and nod.

"Don't feel guilty Zee. You saved me." Lily tells me, with tears in her eyes. Her split lip has dried blood on it and her eye looked painful.

"Okay." I answer and take her arm and start heading inside. "Let's get Jade to heal those up for you." She rips arm from me and hugs me tightly.

"You're my best friend Xeomara, and you're not a killer."

"No, you're my sister." She hugs me tighter and then lets go. I smile to myself but the smile falls off my face when I see who bursts out the back door.

"Xeomara!" My mother yells running towards me. I stop dead in my tracks, Dumbledore and Lily a few feet ahead of me now. They too stop, and when my mother reaches me she creates a shield charm, shielding us from them. The force sends them tumbling back a bit. And then I notice that James, Sirius, Jade and Remus followed them out. Jade and Remus stood at the door, while James and Sirius joined Albus and Lily.

"Mother." I say nervously.

"You killed my baby." I gulped. "You killed your sister. Your own flesh and blood." She says and I'm shocked to see that even she looks upset. I didn't think she had a soft bone in her body, and it only made it worse. "Your father and I agreed and it's time we take you home." Was she crazy? Take me home. "We won't hit you anymore, everything will be different. We can forgive you for what you've done to us-"

"Forgive _me?_" I ask in disbelief.

"Yes, I can forgive you for everything. Even for killing your sister. If you would just come home, then you could take your sister's place as a death eater like we've decided since you were little."

"Like _you_ and father decided since I was little. If I had a say you sure as hell wouldn't have promised Voldemort that I'd be one of those spoiled little death eaters. Don't make me laugh mother. I have no intention of coming home." She looks shocked. "I'm not a little girl anymore. I told you that last time. I'm not someone you can push around anymore-"

"But we won't push you around! I told you it would be different!" she interrupts. I laugh.

"I'm not coming. And I would rather die than become a death eater. Actually I'd rather die than become your daughter again. Don't you understand yet?" I ask her. "I hate you. I always have. You have never been a mother to me, and I have never been your daughter. I was nothing but the family elf." She glares at me.

"I was going to take you in. I was going to forgive you! I would have forgiven you for killing Regulus, I would have forgiven you for stunning us, for running away, I would have forgiven you for dating that little Black brat."

"Mother." I interrupt again. "I'm not _dating _that little Black brat as you call him. I'm _married _to him." Her eyes widen.

"Hello Mother." Sirius says from behind the shield with pure amusement written all over his face.

"No, you're mother will blow a casket when I arrive back to her house tonight!" My mother yells. She looks coldly at me.

"If you want to play it that way fine, you will pay!" She shoots a hex at me that I quickly deflect.

"Xeomara!" A loud voice booms. I turn in the direction and see my father striding across the grass, on the same side as my mother and I.

"Hello Father." I reply sweetly.

"Dammit." I hear James growl.

"Remus! Take Lily and Jade inside and keep them there." I say noticing the look on my father's face.

"Saving the mudbloods are you."

"Remus!" I yell again and turn to make sure he's bringing them inside. Once I see them in safely I turn to my parents. "To what do I owe this pleasure father?"

"Looks as if you're going to follow your sister." I start laughing madly.

"Oh Father. It seems your sense of humor has gotten better." He glares at me.

"Avada Kedavra" he yells the same time I scream "Stupefy!" Red and green collide in mid air. If looks could kill I would already be dead.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" A voice screams from behind my father.

"Mother?" He asks outraged. Her cold laughter sends chills up my spine.

"Ah Looky here. The cowardly Gryffindor that murdered my son." I cringe.

"Voldemort murdered your son." She shrinks back. "Does it make you disgusted to know that you raised two failures? They both hated all your pureblood nonsense. How do you feel about that Walburga?!"

"H-How dare you!" She screams.

"Walburga, calm down." Orion commands standing beside her.

"Great my parents and my in-laws on the same side. I must be blessed tonight."

"In-laws?!" Walburga screams.

"Oh yes Mother!" Sirius screams. "I'd like for you to meet my wife!" Her eyes widen in shock.

"Hello Mother." I taunt. My own mother makes a scream of outrage and send a curse my way. Her concentration slipping and the shield is broken. My father disappirates like the coward he is, and my mother gets knocked down by my shield charm, and I too loose my balance. Suddenly Walburga and Orion are standing over top of me.

"Kill her! Kill her!" My mother screams. Walburga points her wand at me glaring madly at my head. I look towards Orion and his face is pained and I'm instantly confused.

"Avada-" Walburga starts.

"CRUCIO!" two voices scream in unison I look up shocked not before I see Walburga and Orion fall to the ground twitching madly in pain. Sirius and James exchange looks of surprise clearly not knowing the other was going to use the spell.

"Sirius! James!" I yell. "STOP!" They look surprised again but the spell is lifted.

"I just cursed your mum." James says. Sirius just looks shocked. Orion gets up quickly and grabs my mother and Walburga and disappirates. A moment later he's back and he has a look of pride written on his face.

"Sirius." He starts; I look at him curiously wondering what he was doing here. "I don't care what your mother says; you are still part of _my _family. I know you don't want to be. And I know that you hate me, but you're still my son. At first I was mad because you didn't seem to think the way your mother and I do, but now I'm proud that you went your own way. You truly are a Gryffindor nobody else would be able to do that with the same courage you did. I wish Regulus had chosen the same life you did instead of only following us because we were his parents. You are very brave and I respect the choices you made." Sirius raises his eyes in shock but doesn't say anything. Then Orion turns to me.

"Xeomara, I want to thank you for my sons." My eye brow furrows in confusion. "You helped Sirius grow into what he is today, and you tried to help Regulus get out of the life he choose. Even though he did stuff that you detest you still managed to help him. And for that I thank you. I've always like you. Even when you were a child. You were witty and intelligent. I always knew you'd be perfect for my son. I apologize for the stuff my wife and your parents put you through. And also I apologize to you Sirius for the stuff we put you through. I regret it greatly." He looked at both of us as Sirius walked up to me and grabbed my hand, our fingers intertwined. 'Welcome to the family Xeomara." Then he looks at Sirius one last time. "Good Bye, Sirius." And then with a crack he's gone.

I stand there for a few seconds staring at the spot Orion just stood. I was trying to run over everything in my head.

"Did my father just-?" Sirius asks unsure.

"I think he did." I answer back. "Wow."

"Sirius mate." James starts. "I-we-" He couldn't finish his sentence.

"I just used the cruciatus curse on my father." Sirius says in horror. I hurriedly turn to face both of them and put a hand on their shoulders.

"No." I say shaking my head. "Don't you two go and feel guilty. You did nothing compared to what I've done. I don't want you thinking you're bad people, because you're not. Sirius you're my husband and James you're my brother and I love you both. And you are NOT bad people." I say and they start to calm down under my harsh glaze.

"Okay." James says after taking a deep breath. "I'm okay."

"Yeah." Sirius agrees.

"I think I'll leave you three now. I'll see you tomorrow. Be there at 1." I nod.

"Good bye Albus." And then quickly add. "Thank you." His blue eyes twinkle before he's gone with a soft pop.

Without speaking I grab both of their hands in mine as we head in the house. We enter the living. Jade is curled up sleeping on against Remus' shoulder, and Lily's head in laying in his lap.

"You okay?" Remus whispers.

"We'll tell you later." He nods, James hand untangles from mine as he lifts a sleeping Lily in his arms and starts bringing her upstairs. "We'll all talk tomorrow." Remus lifts Jade in his arms who cracks an eye open.

"Xeomara." She says her eyes meeting mine, I manage a smile. "I wanted to-" She stops as a yawn hits her.

"You're tired, we'll talk tomorrow." She nods and closing her eyes again after Remus presses a kiss to her forehead. I look towards Sirius with a raised eye brow. He laughs softly and picks me up in his arms.

"Thanks love." He rolls his eyes.

"It's what I'm here for." He carries me up the stairs and when we enter his room his takes my clothes off for me, leaving me in my bra and knickers and he strips down to his own boxers. He covers the blankets over both of us and I push my body up against his, my head buried into his neck.

"I love you." I say pressing a kiss to his neck.

"I love you too." He says. "Get some sleep. You went through a lot tonight.

"'kay." I mutter. "G'night."

"Night love." I take in his familiar scent and sigh. The smell of it, and the way he rubs my back makes my eyes flutter shut until finally I drift off into a dreamless sleep."

Xx

-Sirius' POV-

I'm staring at the ceiling waiting for Zee to get up. My hand unconsciously goes to her back and starts rubbing little circles. James and Lily have been up for hours but have just laid there in bed not moving. The door creaks open, and Remus and Jade enter. Jade leaning sleepily on Remus. Remus conjures a mattress out of thin air and him and Jade sit down on it.

"Hey." Remus whispers.

"Hey moony." James replies, and the door opens once again and Peter enters.

"Should I wake up Zee?" I ask. Lily nods. I press a kiss to her forehead.

"Zee, love." He stirs a little bit. I press another kiss this time her cheek, and she squirms. I press a third kiss to her neck and she shivers and blinks an eye open.

"Good morning!" I say loudly. She hops up quickly and noticing everyone in the room groans and rolls over, not before I notice her cradling her shoulder.

"Jade, should her arm still be hurting." Jade nods.

"From what Hestia told me last night, the spot that was originally hit with the curse will hurt for over two weeks, but the potion is only good for a week."

"Just bloody fan-fucking-tastic." Zee says sarcastically. Everyone starts laughing.

"So Pete, what happened to you last night?" James asks.

"I don't really know, we all left the alley way and then I think I was stunned. Didn't really see much action. Then I woke up here."

"I brought you back." Lily says no one bothering to mention that we came home first.

"Jade?" She turns to Remus and nods.

"Well Remus and I ran out together, and we just dueled a bunch of death eaters. I was scared because Remus was hit with some weird curse I've never seen before and he started screaming madly but the second I stunned the person he stopped screaming and returned to normal."

"I wasn't hurt but my mind was telling me I was in pain so I started screaming. It was strange." Remus adds.

"Yeah I think I heard you screaming, but I was so bloody worried because I couldn't find Lily and Maurie." James says and I nod in agreement. "Sirius and I couldn't find them. We spent most of our time looking for them and just stunning who ever we passed and then they found us later on. So the real question is what happened to you two?" Lily and Zee grin at each other.

"Well first I was dueling snape and we were getting real into because I was making fun of him and such and then he split open my arm with that damn curse of his and Lily stunned it him."

"It was quite comical really." Lily adds.

"It really was, she called him something like a slimy git? Ah, I don't really remember." James kisses Lily. "Then we couldn't find you guys but six death eaters came at us so we couldn't go look. Lily and I each dueled three of them. I threw one into a window and Lily did the same. Though Lily's way was much better." Lily grins at her. "Then we both stunned our second death eater and was left with one. Then I heard Crucio and Lily started screaming. I couldn't get to her because the man I was dueling kept matching my skill. I tried so hard to get to her as fast as I can I was so mad by the time I stunned my death eater that I-" She stopped and I was wondering what happened when Lily says,

"She killed him." In a complete normal voice like it happens every day, I squeeze her hand. "I took her hand and we started running looking for you all, and then Malfoy and Black appeared in front of us. Zee taunted Malfoy for a while calling him a coward and such then she dueled him and I took on Narcissa. After a while Zee disarmed him and stunned him with so much force he flew back like 20 feet. Narcissa of course got angry and tried to get to Zee but I wouldn't let her." She points to her split lip. "She actually punched me. I was shocked so we started muggle fighting. And then Maria comes and starts where Malfoy left off. I'm actually confused about this part, Zee." She says looking at Zee.

"When I was younger my mother would take my wand away and allow my cousins and sisters to hex me until I was conscious." They all gasp and I squeeze her hand again. "So she taunted me about that and she won. Just like always. She took my wand and hexed me until I was conscious. Then Lily revived me and we started looking for you all again. Then we found you and well you know the rest." She finishes.

"Wow." Remus finishes. "Eventful night for all of us I would say." We all nod.

"Did anyone see Gideon and Fabian?" I ask. Everyone closes off.

"No." James says with a gulp.

"I didn't either." Lily and Zee say in unison. "I can't believe they're gone." Lily adds.

"Yeah." Jade says. The room gets silent again leaving us all to our own thoughts.

"So what happened with your parents?" Lily asks looking between Xeomara and I.

"Let's just say that Orion Black isn't such a bad man after all." Zee says and I nod.

"He basically told me that he respected me and he thanked Zee for me and my brother saying we wouldn't have been the same without her and then welcomed her into the family." Remus' eye brows raise so high they went up to his hair line.

"No."

"Yes." Zee counters.

"I can't believe it." He says.

"Well believe it, because it happened." James says and looks down.

"Why do I get the feeling something else happened." Lily says. This time zee squeezes my hand.

"James and I, we um used the cruciatus curse on my parents." I answer for us. Lily leans over and kisses James long and deep.

"I love you, you know." She says when she pulls away.

"I love you too flower." He says back with a grin. Zee and I roll our eyes.

"We should eat breakfast before we go." Zee says standing up. She holds her hand out to Jade, "Shall we?" Jade takes it and stands up. "We'll call you when it's done!" She calls to us as they close the door. I lay back down with a sigh.

"They're angels." James mutters as his stomach growls, the rest of us just laugh, letting go to our worries for now.


	41. Hell Week and Mission Accomplished

**I own nothing but my OC'S!**

Chapter forty one- Hell Week and Mission Accomplished.

-Xeomara's POV-

It finally reached the middle of July and we'd be starting our auror program tomorrow. I was still doing the double shifts for the order which drove Sirius mad because we barely saw each other because every time I'd be patrolling he'd be sleeping and he'd be gone when I came back. We got lucky every once and a while but rarely never. So he was excited about the auror training because it meant I'd have to drop the double shift.

I was less enthusiastic about the training. I loved patrolling and doing work for the order. Following around death eaters and providing information was great. We hadn't really had any more battles or such with the death eaters. I take it they were trying to recoup. We basically destroyed them.

The order still mourned the loss of Fabian and Gideon Prewett. I had some good times with them at Hogwarts having dated Fabian for a short amount of time. One of the boys my boys ever approved of. Molly took it especially hard, I took time out of every day to go and visit her and we became pretty close. She was an amazing woman, and someone that I know called a good friend. She cried often about her brothers but she still managed to be there for her husband and her little sons. Billy and Charlie were the cutest little boys and I often played with for hours when I went over there. And Arthur was such a sweet heart. He really knew exactly what to do to make Molly feel better. Just being in that house made me smile. Even Alice became my friend in this short amount of time. She was actually quite funny and was nice except of course for that little comment about me but we hung around with her and frank when we got the chance.

Sirius and I were still looking around for a place to live. We both were loaded with money but didn't want anything to do with a big house. It just wasn't us. We were however looking for nice large flats to live in. We've come across a few in muggle London that we liked. We wanted to stay in the city so we could be close to the Ministry. James still wasn't excited at the fact I was leaving home, but he'd get over it eventually. Jade and Moony were also looking for a place to live, and we decided that we were going to be staying close to each other. They're been looking in all the same places as we have, hoping we'd find flats in the same building. Moony is asking Jade to marry him tonight, we have it all set and ready. He is extremely nervous but I'm excited. This means so much to him and I'm so excited at his happiness because even though he had us he was never truly happy and well she's the missing piece to his puzzle.

"Maurie!"I hear James calls me from his bedroom. I turn over and bury my head in my pillow.

"Zee!" Sirius calls. I roll my eyes even though they can't see me.

"Would you get your arse up! We have to get ready and go meet Lily. Training starts in a half hour!" I hear footsteps walking in to my room and then I feel the sheets being ripped from under me. Next thing I knew I landed on the floor.

"Dammit James! Wake me up like a normal person would you?"

"How'd you know it was me?" I grin and look at him with a raised eye brow.

"Sirius has other ways of getting me up." He pales.

"Okay, that's disgusting I didn't need to hear that!" He says walking away; I hear Sirius' loud laughter from the other room. I get up quickly and push past James stripping as I do and getting in the shower. I rotate my shoulder under the warm water to loosen it up because no matter what I did it still felt stiff. I crack all my sore bones from standing for more than 8 hours and quickly washed my hair and body. I stepped out of the shower and someone was there wrapping a towel around me.

"Hello Love." He whispered in my ear. I shivered against his breath in my ear. That didn't go unnoticed past him, because he chuckles lightly. I melt against him and sigh.

"Good morning to you too." I tell him, he turns me around so were completely pushed up against each other, and he kisses me. My mouth parts against his and our tongues meet. And I can't help but think that I could never get tired of this. Of being with him. I smile under his mouth and he pulls back.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked his eye brow furrowed in confusion. I smooth it out with my fingers and grin.

"Nothing that concerns you." I say walking in my room. He starts following me,

"But what-" I slam the door in his face.

Xx

"Lily!" I say and give my bestfriend a hug. I haven't seen her much lately because her mum has been making her stay at home because "Her Baby" as she says is going to leave her soon and she wants to spend time with her. So the only time I've seen her is when she relieves me of patrolling or at the meetings.

"I missed you! My mum and dad are driving me mad! And Petunia! Oh I don't even want to begin to talk about her. So has her own place and she's married yet she still comes home every day!" she rants.

"I can only imagine. She's such a rotten little person." I say causing her to laugh.

"She is isn't she?" I snort. "I've said this once and I'll say it again. I am not going to my house after I move out. Sure maybe once every month or something. If James just gets on my nerves I'll come to your house."

"You'd be most welcome flower." Sirius says appearing behind me with his hand pressed on the small of my back. She leans forward and kisses his cheek.

"How's it going brother?" She asked.

"Pretty good, except I got a door slammed in my face this morning." He says looking at me with a glare. I just smile in return.

"What-?"

"I'll tell you later Lily flower." She rolls her eyes. "Now we're just waiting on James! Where the hell could he have gotten too? He's been yelling at me all morning!"

Suddenly Lily gets a bright smile on her face, and I'm said to say I was a little confused until James pushed past me and threw his arms around her and brining her in for a kiss. That turned into a long drawn out snog.

"Well, uh." I say looking towards Sirius who looked startled.

"Yeah." He agrees.

"Um LOVE BIRDS!" I shout. "I hate to break up this snog session. But if you don't hurry up, WE'LL BE LATE!" James and Lily break apart both completely red in the face.

"Right, uh let's go?" I shake my head, and disappirate on the spot.

"Today is the first day of training." Moody says walking into the room. "Today is the first day of your life as an auror in training." He says, and I'm wondering if he realized he basically just said the same thing twice. "You will need CONSTANT VILGIELNCE." He yells the last two words and I feel Lily cringe beside me. "You were all very lucky to be chosen for this line of work. There will only be six of you as you know, and every six months we choose six more. Your training will be complete by then so you won't have to worry about having any other partners and such." I nod my head.

"Raes!" He shouts.

"Black." I correct, he waves his hand at the correction. "Yes sir?" I ask with a grin.

"Why is it that you want to be an auror, be brief." He adds, and now I'm seriously questioning his sanity. Isn't it obvious?

"I want to catch dark wizards?" I say ending it like a question.

"Are you sure? You don't sound very sure."

"Do you want the truth sir?" I ask him and he nods. "Well honestly I was wondering why in the name of merlin you would ask me such a question when you should already know." He raises an eye brow. "It was written on my resume." And to my surprise he barks out a loud laughter.

"Very good Black." I make a face of disbelief. "As an auror you have to pay attention to little details. Little details like that could save your life. If you are talking to someone and they ask you questions they should already know then they're not really the person you should be talking to are they?" I grin at him, he's a little mad but brilliant.

"Follow me." He grunts. We follow him through the halls and into the elevator, silently. We reach the basement past the department of mysteries and I blink to make sure I'm seeing correctly. In front of me is a large room, on the right side is a track, in the middle is a large swimming pool, there is a large work out section, and different types of punching bags and such. That I was a little confused on. Did he plan on teaching us muggle fighting?

"That," he said pointing to the track. "Is what you will be doing first. One time around is equivalent to one mile. I want two. GO!" he shouts. Without waiting for anything else to be said I start sprinting towards the track. I haven't ran like this since quidditch practice and I'm sad to say that it was killing me. Is this really supposed to help us became an auror?

"Black!"

"Yes." Sirius and I both answer, he groans.

"Uh, not you." He said pointing to me, "You." He says pointing to Sirius.

"Yes sir?"

"You were the only one who did it right. You should all be able to run two miles in less than 12 minutes and Black here did it in 11 minutes and 55 seconds." Sirius grins. "The rest of you, you need work."

"Longbottom!"

"Yes sir?" Alice and Frank both answer. Moody groans again.

"Dammit! I'll have two couples with the same last name!"

"Three." I correct. He raises an eye brow.

"Lily and James, they're getting married September third. Remember?" He rolls his eyes.

"Right, right." He shakes his head. "I meant Alice."

"Yes?"

"You specifically need to step it up. 14 minutes is horrendous." She blushes and I suddenly feel sorry for her. Thank merlin I ran mine in 12 minutes and 20 seconds.

The rest of the day was filled with sit-up, pushups and other assortments of workouts, I was as sore as you could get.

"Well children," He says right before we leave. "Welcome to your first week of training."

"Or first week of hell." I mutter and Moody just grins.

Xx

"I think I'm dying." James moans, later on after we said good bye to Lily and arrived at our house. We were now all sprawled out on our beds, me on Sirius'.

"You're not the only one." I rub my stiff shoulder hoping it will get better soon; Sirius sensing me doing it removes my hands and rubs it for me.

"I need ice!" James whines. I grab my wand and conjure a bag of ice from mid air and throw it at him. It hits him on the face, and he groans but doesn't say anything and puts it on his ankle that's been bothering him since the battle. He sighs in relief and I shake my head and conjure a bag for Sirius, and one for me. I place mine of my shoulder, and Sirius takes his and places it on his lower back. After that we all just sit quietly waiting for the pain to go away.

"Zee, Sirius, James!" I hear a voice scream, jump up only to cringe back when I realized I must have fallen asleep.

"Hmm?" Sirius mumbles starting to wake up. James just moans. The door is thrown open and Remus and Jade walk in. The stop dead at the looks on our faces.

"Are you guys okay? How was training?"

"Don't." I plead, and James finishes,

"ask about training." Remus laughs.

"That bad huh?" Sirius makes a noise that Rem takes as a yes.

"Well I think you'll be happy to know that Remus and I are engaged!" Jade says happily. James, Sirius, and I all jump up and hug them.

"Congrats!" I say in Jade's ear as I hug her. She hugs me back and I'm surprised to see some tears roll down her face. "Aww don't cry!" I say pulling away from the hug.

"You should have seen her when I did it, cried like a baby." Jade smacks his arm.

"Remus!" I say on a laugh. "Don't make fun of your fiancé!"

"Sorry." He says clearly not sorry at all. I pull him in for a hug.

"I told you." I tell him. "I told you just wait for the right person."

"You are always right." I pull back as Sirius steps forward to take my place.

"Please answer this for me." I start hesitantly. "When's the wedding?"

"Next May." Remus answers promptly.

"Oh thank Merlin."

"Zee I have something to ask you now." Remus tells me. "Firstly I want to apologize to James and Sirius. I already apologized to Peter when I saw him. But Zee will you be my best man?" I burst out laughing and lean forward to hug him again.

"I'd love too!"

"What?!" Sirius and James exclaim in unison exchanging a look of horror.

"But she's not a man!" Sirius says at the same time James yells, "She's a girl!"

"You're just jealous!" I shoot back. They just turn their heads away from me.

"There is a reason that I want her to be next to me when I'm getting married. She was there from the beginning with me and Jade and she's the one that got me with her in the first place. So I want her there when we get married." I smile at him.

"I was also mad." Jade says looking at Sirius and James. "I had it all planned out, since Lily was going to be married by then I was going to have her be my matron of honor, and Zee be my maid of honor because I'd never choose between you two, but then Remus stole you!" She said shooting Remus a glare.

"I would say that we should go out and celebrate, but let's do it after our hell week." Remus raises an eye brow.

"That's what Zee decided to call our first week because all we'll be doing is working out, running, sit-ups, pushups, the works." Jade grimaces.

"Glad I picked healing." We all shoot a glare her way.

Xx

"I want you to put all you got into this training!" Moody yells after he ordered us to run two miles for the third time today. "You should make it in 12 minutes!" This time I was smart, the first day of training. First day I wore sweats pants and a hoodie, today I had on a sports bra and gym shorts, as did Lily and Alice. They boys were running in just shorts no shirts. I had to try not to stare at Sirius with all his muscles and the sweat-stop. I tell myself for the fifth time. I needed to concentrate. I just finish my mile and walk over to where James and Sirius were standing who had finished only seconds before me hoping to hell that I made 12 minutes.

"Congrats Little Black." Mad Eye said using the new name he'd taken to calling me so we wouldn't get confused. He called Alice, little longbottom. "You made it in 11 minutes and 48 seconds. I close my eyes and breathe a sigh of relief. Sirius pats me on the back and James grins.

"What did you guys get?" James grimaces.

"Sirius beat me!" I roll my eyes; leave it to them to compete against each other.

"11 minutes and 17 seconds." Sirius replies proudly.

"11 minutes and 19 seconds." James says, and the look on his face had me cracking up.

"Evans! Better luck next time 12 minutes and 15 seconds."

"NO!" she yells out putting her head in her hands.

"At least you beat Frank and Alice." I say as they both walk up together.

"There is still three of you that haven't made the time limit. We'll pick up running tomorrow. I grin tomorrow was our last day of these ridiculous all day work outs.

"We only have three hours left, so I'm going to announce your partners. You will be working with them during your career. So lucky all of you are friends. There will be no marriage partners I repeat you will not be working with your husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend." I exchange looks with Sirius who suddenly got extremely fidgety.

"Little Longbottom and Evans." They grin at each other. "Hit the pool." They nod and walk off removing their shorts and jumping in. "Potter and Black." James shoots me a nervous glance. I assure him I'm fine in my mind and he nods. "Hit the weights." He turns to me and Frank, we were grinning at each other. I was perfectly happy with my partner I liked frank and I think we'd work well together. "Longbottom and Little Black, hit the punching bags." He smiles and then adds, "Literally."

"Tomorrow, I'll see you bright and early for your last day of work out sessions." Moody grumbles as we head out of the building. I smile as I step outside and the sun hits me, I look at my watch and see that he let us out two hours earlier. It was only 6!

"He let us out early today." I say to them, Frank turns to me.

"What?"

"Yeah it's only six."

"Excellent." Sirius and James reply together.

"I think tomorrow we should all go out and celebrate the end of these day workouts especially because we have off on Saturday." Lily says.

"Wicked idea flower." Sirius says.

"I know, I know." She said arrogantly.

"James, what did you do to her?" I ask in horror. "What did you do to my humble Lily flower?!" He starts laughing.

"If anything it was your attitude that did it to her." He replies.

"What me? Never."

"Alright well we're going to get going." Frank says and punches me on the arm. "Later partner."

"Later." I say punching him back before he disappirates.

"Maurie, maybe you and Sirius should switch partners." I roll my eyes.

"I knew that was coming. James you don't need to watch over me. Besides I'll be perfectly fine with Frank. We work well together." He sets his mouth in a straight line.

"James, give it a rest." Lily says, and I smile at her. "Well I'm off. I'm telling my mum I'm staying at your place tomorrow so we can go out." She hugs me and kisses Sirius on the cheek. "I love you, and for Merlins sake James don't pester Zee. Behave." She says kissing him.

"Yeah, love you too." She laughs and with a crack she's gone.

Xx

Sirius decided on a muggle club to go tonight, after our last day of hell week. I was a little unsure but in the end everyone agreed. Lily entered my room where a black cocktail dress and black strappy high heels. Her vibrant red hair wild and curly.

"Damn Lily, trying to drive James crazy tonight?" She grins wickedly.

"Maybe." I look down at my own tight skinny jeans and tight red top. "Zee." She whines.

"What?"

"Are you really wearing that out to a club?"

"Yes?" I answer. She opens her mouth but stops when we hear,

"Lily? Zee?"

"We're up hear Alice!" I call down to her, she walks into my room and I look over her outfit. She too has a cocktail dress on but it's dark blue and hugs her curves, she's wearing silver heels. Her blonde hair is framing her faces in little waves and pushed back by a head band.

"Looks like you're going to drive Frank crazy as well." Her grin matches that of Lily's.

"I was just getting ready to tell her that she shouldn't wear that to a club." I frown.

"What's wrong with this?"

"Well," Alice begins. "Nothing really, you still manage to look sexy in it. But don't you want to tease Sirius a bit?" Suddenly I grin and see the problem with what I'm wearing.

"Well then, you two better get to work." They both grab my arm and take me into the bathroom. What have I gotten myself in to?

A half hour later Lily walks me to my long mirror and places me in front of it. I don't look anything like me. My long dark almost black curls are wilder than usual, my bright blue eyes are lined with black eye liner and my eye lids are smoky. The scar on my face has faded quite drastically. I have clear lip gloss on my full lips. I'm wearing a deep red cocktail dress that hugs my whole tiny body, coming to mid thigh. I stop at my feet and notice the four inch strappy black heels. And I had to admit I looked kinda good, different but good.

"You will without a doubt drive Sirius absolutely bloody mad." Alice declares.

"And everyone else for that matter." Lily adds.

"This so isn't me."

"Sure it is. You just never wear anything like this is all." Alice says with a smile.

"Oh alright."

"Let's go downstairs." I shake my head, suddenly self conscious about how I look.

"I'll be down in a second. Where's Jade?" I add.

"Oh she's downstairs already. And she's in on our plan." I frown, what plan. They both head towards the door when Alice stops almost falling into to Lily.

"Another thing. If you really want to drive them crazy like we do, I'll give you a little tip. Play hard to get, and give him a little attention not as much as usual." Alice says.

"Play him." Lily agrees, as they both walk out the door. Ah, so that's the plan.

-Sirius' POV-

"James, what in bloody hell is taking them so long! They said 20 minutes." James shakes his head.

"That means an hour in girl time, mate." Frank says. I look towards Jade who's been down here for a half hour waiting with us. She's barely said two words to Remus which is strange. I did a double take when she walked in I couldn't believe the girl who was standing in front of me was Jade. Her light brown hair was pin straight, her eyes were lined with makeup, her thin body was wearing an emerald green dress that fell mid-thigh and I wondered if she could even breathe in it. In other words she looked good. But I could never see Zee in one of these and I liked my girl just the way she was. I knew she would come down looking just as sexy in a pair of tight skinny jeans and shirt that hugged her little waist line.

The sound of heels on the wooden stairs make me look up. Lily and Alice were walking down the stairs looking amazing. James' mouth was hung open and Franks eyes widen. Even Remus had a look of lust on his face. Who wouldn't?

"James." Lily says giving him a kiss on the cheek before walking over to Jade. Alice did the same thing.

"Where's Zee?" I ask them. Lily grins at me.

"She said she'll be down in a minute." I nod and sit back down on the couch. A minute could be a year to that woman. I hear the sound of heels and I just assume it's Lily until James whispers,

"Uh mate, you might want to take a look at this." I stand up and turn towards the stairs and stop dead. I was sure I couldn't even breathe right now. Her usual neat curls where wild, she was wearing a red dress that hugged her whole body tightly and fell mid-thigh, and she was wearing strappy heels. And for merlins sake she was wearing makeup. She literally had me speechless. Even if she had stuck to the way she normally dressed I would have been speechless. I've never seen her wear anything like this. When she walked over to me I stuttered out,

"Y-you l-look-" She laughed and it sounded like music to my ears and she leaned in to leave a soft kiss on my cheek. She walked over to the girls that were grinning ear to ear.

"Shall we?" She asks holding out her arm. Lily took the one and Alice took the other, while Jade linked with Lily. With a loud crack they were gone.

"Uh." Remus says intelligently.

"They looked-"

"Hot?" Frank supplied. James shakes his head.

"Amazing?" I ask.

"Your word sounds better." Frank said shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well let's go." I turn on the spot and arrive behind the muggle club I chosen in a dark alley.

"Let's go find our girls, yeah?" James' asks.

When we get inside the club I start searching everywhere for the girls but the dance floor was so crowded that I couldn't see a thing. I nod my head to the balcony where a bunch of people were standing. We grab drinks, and head up there. When I reach it I start looking through the crowd of people making it easier to see.

"That can't be them." Frank mutters and I follow the direction of his eyes. And he was right there was no way it could be them because they were surrounded by four guys and they would never hang out with other guys, let alone muggles!

"No, I really think it is." Remus argues. I watch as Zee excepts a drink from a blonde haired man and smiles at him. He leans in and whispers something in her ear but she shakes her head and looks over the crowd. Her eyes scan up until they land on mine, and I know she could see me. She winks at me and turns back to the other guys laughing as she does and takes a large gulp of her drink.

"Did you see that?" I ask in outrage.

"Yeah mate, I can't- what the hell is Lily doing?" James yells. I look at the girls again and see Lily leaning at the edge of the bar stool sipping on her drink. Her hand resting on another blonde guy's knee. I notice Alice and Jade doing similar things. Though Alice even went as far as to start dancing with one of them. If you could call that dancing. Jade was smiling and flirting madly with a dark brown haired man.

"I- Jade?" Remus says in horror.

A second later they're all dancing, I watch as Zee presses her body close to the one guys and I'm sad to say that I was suddenly the most jealous man alive. Well maybe besides the three guys sitting next to me. I glared at them even though they couldn't see it.

They did this for the first three hours, dancing with various guys accepting drinks from them and not once did they say anything to us. I was to mad to even ask another girl to dance. We stood there on the balcony watching them, each throwing back shots and drinking beer.

"I can't believe they didn't talk to us yet." James says as he throws back another shot.

"Easy dude, you'll be wasted by the time it hits 1." I look at the clock. "Never mind it's one now."

"Damn we've been here since at least 10 right?" Frank asks.

"Yeah." Remus says. I look over the balcony again and see that this time the girls are alone. I wonder who that girl is because that it no way my Zee. She would never act like this. They start whispering to each other and sneaking glances up at us.

"I'm drunk." Frank declares. I snort.

"Hmm, maybe I am too." James says.

"Without a doubt I am." Remus mutters.

"Yeah." I agree.

"Sirius?" I turn my head around and see the girls walking towards us, they didn't look drunk in the least, they were wearing big smiles and looking hotter than I remembered.

The other girls call out there husband/fiancés names but neither of us answer them. I watch as they exchange nervous looks. Zee steps up to me and pouts out her lower lip and I suddenly want to lean down and kiss her.

"Love?" She asks me slipping her hand into mine. This is my Zee, not the girl out there earlier. I look to James and see that his lips are already all over Lily and trailing down her neck. Frank and Alice are walking towards the stairs calling back that they're leaving. And Remus has his arms wrapped around little jade.

I only use the hand that she's holding to pull her close to me, her body reacts to mine instantly and I do what I've wanted to do since I watch her walk down the stairs. I kiss her deeply, my tongue meeting hers as my hands roam her body trailing them up and down her back. She shivers under my hands, and pulls back.

"Uh, I'm tired, should we leave now?" she asks everyone. Lily pulls away from James.

"Yes!" I raise an eye brow at her enthusiasm while jade starts tugging on Remus' hand. Zee grabs mines and leads me down stairs and out the door, we go back into the alley way and all of us instantly disappirate.

"Good night!" She calls to everyone as she leads me into her room. Without waiting for me to say anything she slams the door and pushes me back on the bed. She climbs on top of me and pours everything into one kiss. I kiss her back before I remember the way she acted at the club tonight and break the kiss.

"What was up with you tonight? The makeup, the dress, you hardly talked to me! You spent more time with that blonde arsehole." She bites her lips and blushed slightly.

"It was Lily and Alice's idea. And I guess Jade's as well. They all dressed that way to purposely drive you all crazy. So they dressed me up and told me to be distant. They said it would drive you crazy and well I never dress up or anything and I wanted to do this because I thought maybe you'd find me more attractive this way." She finishes on a rush and I stare at her incredulously.

"You've got to be kidding me." She looks away and swallows thickly. I take my wand out from my pocket and with a swish the makeup is gone off her face. I cup her cheeks in my hand. "You are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, no matter what you wear. Sure you looked hot tonight but if I'm being honest I like you best when you're wearing you jeans and tee shirt, with no makeup and your hair naturally. And I am attracted to you all the time. And just to let you know, you did drive me crazy tonight." She smiles.

"Really."

"Incredibly so."

"Mission accomplished." She says right before her lips crash on mine.


	42. PreWedding Problems

**I own nothing but my OC'S!**

Chapter forty two- Pre-Wedding Problems.

-Lily's POV-

I hate this house, and I mean I really hate it. But tomorrow that will all change. Tomorrow I will be Mrs. Lily Rose Potter and I won't have to stay here with my over bearing mother and my eccentric father. No more Petunia and her fat hag Vernon. It will just be me and James. Sirius and Zee got a flat, a very nice flat. It's one of the biggest ones I've ever seen with wooden floors, 3 bedrooms, the master bedroom was huge and painted in all black. When I asked them about it they both suddenly burst out laughing, Zee promised me she would explain later. The other bedrooms are large too, even the kitchen and living room is large. Though it wasn't easy moving in there, the whole week they argued. I thought they'd never stop. She must have left a billion times and came to our place freaking out about what an arrogant toe rag Sirius was and that she couldn't "bloody" stand him anymore. It always ended up the same way. Sirius would come to the house apologize in the most sweetest ways that even had me blushing. It was more like a penthouse if you ask me. It was the only one on the floor and naturally it was the highest one with a set of stairs to go on the roof. Zee loved the roof, she loves the stars. I guess it reminds her of the astronomy tower and that's why she loved it so much. She begged Sirius to get it; I've never seen her beg so much. Remus and Jade got a flat in the same building. It's on the bottom floor an nowhere near as big as the Sirius'. It's a two bedroom flat, with a nice sized kitchen and living room. It was very hommie and I loved it.

I think back to a few years ago, I would never dream of marrying James. Now that's all I think about. I can't wait to start our life together as a married couple. But tonight, Zee and the girls were taking me out while the boys took out James. But James and I promised to meet each other before hand. The directions were already set up complements of Remus, Jade, and Zee who aren't brilliant at charms and such. I tried to help but they wouldn't allow me since it was my wedding. They won't let me look at the back yard either but from the sneak glance I took it looks gorgeous. Everyone in the wedding was getting dressed and such at James' arriving at around 11. The wedding wasn't until 7 but there was a lot to be done.

"Mum!" I scream over the loud music playing in my living room. I get no answer so I scream it again, "MUM!" Still no answer, I give up and take my bag that I packed to head over to James'. When I enter the living I groan. My dad has my mum pulled closely to him while they salsa dance around my living room. For the love of god! They're forty years old! Talk about mid-life crisis. I walk over to the stereo and turn it off.

"Oh honey did you say something?" My mum asks moving to my side. I close my eyes and count to ten before I say something I'd regret. After I reach ten I open my eyes and smile.

"I just wanted to tell you I was going to James' we promised to meet before we went out with our friends." She takes my hand and her eyes start watering.

"Oh honey." She says wiping tears off her face. "I'm going to miss you so much! You're my little baby-"

"Save it for tomorrow, yeah?" She nods and kisses my cheek.

"I love you, have fun!" I mumble that I love her back and go and kiss my dad.

"Have fun hon, don't get to drunk." He says with a wink.

Xx

I unlock the door to the house and walk inside.

"James!" I do a double take when I realized I didn't have to call for him. He's sitting in the living room with a grim expression on his face and Albus standing in front of him.

"Oh Hello Albus." I say smiling, and sit down next to James. "How are you?"

"I'm good, hope you are." I nod. His eyes flicker back to James.

"You should tell her, good luck. See you tomorrow." With a crack he's gone. Nervously I turn towards James.

"Good luck?" I ask, and then add, "James what are you supposed to be telling me." He grabs my hands in both of his and now I'm really nervous.

"He's sending me on a mission."

"Oh well that's fine, are you leaving after the wedding because we don't have to go on our honey moon I don't mind if-"

"No you don't understand Lily." He tells me.

"What don't understand?"

"I'm leaving tonight." I rip my hands out from his.

"Well tell him you can't go!" He too stands up.

"I can't tell him that! I took an oath. I signed the paper!"

"We're supposed to be getting married tomorrow!" I yell. "Doesn't that mean anything to you!"

"Of course it does! He said we'd be back before the wedding but right before, if we do this right."

"How do you know you'll make it back in time!" I question, glaring at him.

"That's just the thing. I don't know! I don't bloody know what time I'll be getting back." She says shaking his head.

"James don't do this to me! We sent out invitations, everyone is coming!"

"You don't think I know that?!" he asks outraged. "I want to get married too Lily. For fucks sake I've been in love with you and dreaming about marrying you since first year don't you-"

"And now you're throwing it away over a mission, over this war! We aren't supposed to let this come between us!" He runs a hand through his hair looking clearly frustrated.

"I'll try my best to make it back in time. I want to marry you Lily, I really do." I scoff and turn away from him and his apologetic eyes.

"It sure doesn't look like it James. You've chosen this over me. I except you there tomorrow, if you're not there than we're done." I close my eyes thinking of Zee's flat and with a loud crack I'm gone.

"Zee! Sirius!" I scream pounding on the door, angry tears pouring down my face. I try knocking again. "Zee please! I need you!" I hear running and then the door is pulled open. Zee looks at me for a second.

"He told you." I nod and she lets me in, she closes the door behind me. I see Sirius leaning against the door way to kitchen casually. He's dressed in all black, black jeans, black tee shirt, black sneakers.

"Wait how'd you know. Albus just told James he-" I suddenly stop and look down at what Zee's wearing. She has black skinny jeans, and a tight black shirt. "You're going aren't you?" I ask softly as more tears pour down my face, she swallows thickly but doesn't answer. "Aren't you?!" I yell this time.

"Yes, Albus came over before he went to James' they said they needed us three because-"

"I don't give a damn why they need you." I start wiping at the tears on my face but give up as they just keep coming. "I'm getting married tomorrow! I'm getting married tomorrow and my maid of honor and the best man aren't going to be there. And guess what?" I add bitterly. "The fucking groom isn't going to be there either!" Zee cringes back at the anger in my voice. I don't care that I'm making her upset. This is supposed to my wedding. I've dreamed of my wedding since I was little and this was not how it was supposed to be.

"I'll do my best to try and get there. Do you think I want to miss my best friend's wedding. I will get James there if it's the last thing I do and I mean it." I stare at the truth in her face but right now I don't want to hear it.

"I don't know why. I don't know why this has to happen to me? This is my wedding, Zee. My wedding. James and I just got in fight and he clearly choose this over me but yet I'm still the idiot that wants to marry him. You know why because I love him." I shake my head. "I love him and he doesn't give a damn!" I say louder.

"Aww Lily," Zee says reaching for me but I back away.

"Don't." I warn. "Just don't." I turn towards the door, and start sprinting down the steps. I don't stop until I reach Remus' door. I pound on it loudly, until the door opens and Remus is standing there. I throw myself into his arms and he wraps them around me tightly pulling me into the house and shutting the door. He sits me down on the couch and sits down next to me and takes my hand.

"I take it James told you." I nod. "He just owled me, he seems to think you'd be coming here. I take it Zee and Sirius are going too." I nod and more tears fall down my face. "Oh lily." He says pulling me into another hug while I cry into his shirt. "They'll make it. I know they will. James loves you."

"He chose the order over me." I cry.

"He didn't chose it over you."

"He did! He did!" He just holds me tighter until my tears dry up.

"Are you okay now?" I nod.

"I just can't believe they're going. I feel so, so-" I shake my head not able to finish the sentence. "We got in a big fight, and I yelled at Zee. I don't know what to do. I'm so angry."

"Lily?" I turn my head towards the sound of the voice and see Jade, dressed up for our night out. "Zee owled me, apparently I'm still supposed to be taking you out. Let's get you dressed and ready sweet heart." She says soothingly.

"I don't know if I want to go." She shakes her head and smiles.

"Remus is coming to. We combined the parties. Come on." She takes my hand and sits me down on her bed as she ruffles through my bad pulling out my outfit. She does my hair and makeup wiping all the traces of tears off my face, and helps me get changed.

"You look amazing." She says, "Come on, let's go party."

Xx

"Lily?" a soft voice asks. "Lily honey, wake up." I roll over and blink an eye open. Only to have the light blind me and my head pound. My stomach rolls and I stand up abruptly and start sprinting for the bathroom, where I throw my guts up into the toilet.

"Oh dear." The voice I know recognize as Jade says. "Remus!" She calls loudly and my head spins. Remus runs in the bathroom and tilts my head back.

"Open your mouth." He commands, I do so and he pours a vile tasting liquid in my mouth. I swallow it and my head ache is gone.

"Thank you." I say wiping my mouth. He nods and offers a smile as we head back to Zee's room. I sit on her bed and look down at my clothes. I was still wearing the clothes from last night. "What happened? I don't remember a thing!"

"You wouldn't, would you?" Alice replies walking in the room. Molly, and Hestia following.

"The second you walked through the door you started throwing back shots like they were water." Molly tells me. I groan.

"Did I have fun?" Everyone cracks a smile.

"Well I'd say." Remus tells me.

"Well that's good." Everyone gets quiet, "They're not back yet are they?" Remus shakes his head.

"No. I'm sorry." I blink back tears.

"S'okay." The rest of the day I spent getting ready, my hair was done first, as was everyone else's. Last minutes details were being done and gifts were being given. My mum and dad arrived around noon. Around four I started growing nervous.

"The wedding is in three hours! They're not going to make it!"

"Sure they are, he wouldn't-" Jade's voice is cut off by a large silvery tiger landing in front of me.

"Lily, I'm sorry we're doing everything we can but-" Even through the patronus she sounds like she's going to cry. "We fucked up. Please don't send one back. I'm so sorry Lily." And then it's gone. My face cracks and I start to cry.

"Lily, Lily no!" Jade says wiping the tears off my face. "They'll make it I just know they will."

Xx

-Xeomara's POV-

"Zee! Sirius!" I hear someone scream at the door. I exchange a look with Sirius. He nods. "Zee please! I need you!" I start running towards the door; I pull it open and just stare. She was crying hysterically.

"He told you."

"Wait how'd you know. Albus just told James he-" She stops and I watch as she takes in our clothes. "You're going aren't you?" She asks softly as more tears pour down her face. I don't answer but I swallow the lump in my throat. "Aren't you?!" She yells this time.

"Yes, Albus came over before he went to James' they said they needed us three because-" I start but she cuts me off.

"I don't give a damn why they need you." She tries wiping the tears off her face but gives up when they keep coming. "I'm getting married tomorrow! I'm getting married tomorrow and my maid of honor and the best man aren't going to be there. And guess what?" She adds bitterly. "The fucking groom isn't going to be there either!" I cringe back at the anger in her voice.

"I'll do my best to try and get there. Do you think I want to miss my best friend's wedding. I will get James there if it's the last thing I do and I mean it." I tell her meaning every word.

"I don't know why. I don't know why this has to happen to me? This is my wedding, Zee. My wedding. James and I just got in fight and he clearly choose this over me but yet I'm still the idiot that wants to marry him. You know why because I love him." She shakes her head. "I love him and he doesn't give a damn!" She says louder.

"Aww Lily," I say reaching for her. She moves back.

"Don't." She warns. "Just don't." She goes to the door opens it goes through it and then slams it shut. I cringe as the wood hits the metal. I'm staring at the spot that she just left and I feel like I want to cry. Sirius sensing this comes up behind me and places his face on my shoulder so were touching cheek against cheek.

"She'll forgive you." He tells me. I shake my head but inside I'm wishing that she does.

Xx

"James." I say as we reach the building. "I know you're upset but you need to focus. We need to be 100% in there. A lot of things are riding on this. Those muggle are riding on this." I look up to the large abandoned factory and cringe. The vile death eater are keeping muggles in there. Real human beings being locked up because of their heritage. "We need to get in and get out." James nods. I look between Sirius and James, who are both dressed in black, black jeans, black tee shirts, and black sneakers. I look down at my own outfit, basically the same, black skinny jeans, black tight tee shirt, and black sneakers. I take my wand out of my pocket.

"Let's do this." We sprint to the back, and I find an open window. I point my wand at it, so it will silently open. After it does, I push Sirius threw it, then James, before I climb through myself. I check my watch, telling me it's 10:30. We have plenty of time to get this done before the wedding as long as we do it right.

"There should be a guard around the corner." Sirius whispers. I nod, as we start silently making our way around the corner. I knew we needed to be at the top floor. But damn I didn't even want to count how many windows high this was, and right now it wasn't helping being on the bottom floor.

Sirius points his wand and silently stuns the death eater standing at the corner.

"Silencio!" I whisper so when he wakes up no one would hear him.

"The stair case is right there." We sprint to it, and up the small stair case.

"No." I say when we reach the next level. "There is a different stair case for each level." Sirius and James raise their eye brows.

"Dammit!" James curses. I keep replaying Lily's hurt expression again and again in my mind. I shake my head of my thoughts and open the door quietly. James and Sirius follow. I'm walking down the hall way when I hear a noise behind me. I know it's another guard.

"Listen." I say loudly, James and Sirius shoot me a look questioning my sanity. "There is a guard behind us." I whisper this time. "He doesn't think that I know he's there. He's following us waiting to see what we'll do. Whatever I do, I don't want you to stop, and don't look back."

"What are you going to do?" Sirius asks nervously. I walk a few more feet waiting for this to work. It has to work. Still walking I swing a look backwards at the same time I raise my wand and shoot of a curse. The curse send the death eater flying silently back into a wall. The purple light surrounds him, binding him to the wall so he can't move. I fling my head around quickly as if I never turned it around in the first place and just kept my pace with the boys.

"You're awesome, you know that?" James mutters.

"It will be even more awesome if I get you home in time for the wedding." He nods in agreement. After stunning and curses the guards on the first four floors we reach the fifth floor.

"How many floors left?" James asks me. I shake my head not having a clue. I look down at my watch and see it's a little past one. Damn, our time is running out.

"Do you really think we'll make it?" Sirius asks me.

"I don't know Sirius, I-" I cut off as I'm hit in my back my a curse. I bend over slightly and turn around pointing my wand at the four masked figures.

"Dammit!" Sirius yells. We all start firing curses some missing and some hitting. I watch as a red light shoots towards me and before I can deflect it I feel it hit my chest and then everything gets black.

Xx

When I open my eyes the first thing I see is a door way, I turn my head and take in the rest, the room is large and empty. I try to move my hands to wipe the blood I can feel running down my face but stop when they're restricted by something.

"They tied our hands together." James says from beside me. I turn to him and frown. His lip is split, his eye is black, and he has a large cut on the side of his head going into his hair line that is still bleeding.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry James." Sirius says. "If I hadn't been talking." I shake my head and turn to him. He has a huge bump on his cheek and a large bruise covering it. He keeps moving his jaw as if it's in pain and I can hear it cracking.

"I shouldn't have gotten distracted. I kept thinking about Lily's face and how upset she was. It's not just your fault Sirius. In simple words we fucked up." They both nod. "What happened?"

"We all turned around, and then you were stunned. I kept fighting but he threw me into wall, and I really don't want to rhyme right now but I think it broke my jaw." Sirius says cringing every time he talks.

"James?"

"After you too went down I kept fighting. I managed to stun three of the four death eaters, but the fourth one punched me and cut me open. Then he stunned me." I shake my head.

"What do I look like?"

"You have a large gash on your head, your lip is swollen, and I believe you have a broken cheek bone. That's what it looks like anyway." I groan.

"Fan-fucking-tastic. Can either one of you look behind me and read my watch?" They both turn their heads as far as they can and look down.

"It's not on my side. James?" Sirius asks.

"It's 11." I scream out in frustration.

"We were out that long?" James shakes his head.

"You were I woke up when they were tying us in here." Shit I curse mentally.

"How often do they come in and check on us?"

"Once every three hours I'd say. So if it's 11 now, they won't be coming back until around 1."

"What are we going to do then?"

"Shut up Sirius let me think." He gets quiet.

"How many guys come in?"

"The same guy every time, he's tall, blonde hair, maybe thirty." James replies.

"Okay." I start thinking things over quickly in my head.

"I've got a plan." James and Sirius exchange looks over my head.

"Well they want me to be a death eater right?" I ask them, "Well it's simple I give myself up and you two get out of here."

"NO!" They both yell.

"But it's a good plan I mean really I could-"

"Not gonna happen Maurie." I sigh.

"Fine, plan B then."

"What's plan B?" I smile.

"Just wait and see." I just hope this works.

Xx

"Okay, he should be coming in any minute now. Are you going to tell us you're plan?" Sirius asks. I look at the door nervously.

"Oh for fucks sake! You don't have a plan, you're just going to wing it." Sirius says in outrage. I shrug.

"I have a beginning of a plan but the rest all depends on the guy. He could do a number of things with what I'm going to do so I just hope he does the right one." They nod and I hear footsteps. "James the time!" He looks down quickly.

"It's almost two." Strange, I thought. "Sirius, what ever I do next don't take it the wrong way okay?" He just raises an eye brow.

The door opens and the guys walks in grinning when he realized they're all awake. Merlin I hope it works

"Well look what we have here. Black, Black and a Potter." I find myself smiling at him. He does a double take on me and I'm relieved maybe it will work after all.

"Excuse me." I say sweetly. "I was wondering if I could use the bathroom." I look down noticing his wand in his hand loosely.

"Sorry, can't allow you to do that." I pout.

"But I really need to use the bathroom. You look like a nice guy just please."

He stands his ground. "Nope sorry." I make my lower lip tremble.

"Please, I'll be good. I promise." He considers the options for a moment before sighing.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you." I cringe thanking merlin I really don't have to go. He walks over to me and helps me up. He reaches behind me to untie my hands making sure to touch my arse while he's at it. I hear Sirius growl in response. It's then I make my move, when my hands are free I grab his face and kiss him. He kisses me back.

"Of all the things!" I hear Sirius say in disbelief behind me. I slide my hands down his chest while I kiss him until I get to his arm. I open my eyes and slide them down until I see his wand. I grab it with my hand and push him away.

"Why you dirty little-"

"Silencio!" He's mouth is still moving a mile a minute. "Stupefy!" He falls to the ground where he stood and I take in a breath of air. I walk over to Sirius and James.

"Diffindo!" I say cutting through James' and Sirius' ropes. They stand up and I notice the raw area around their wrists and I notice mine have them too.

"Seriously, what were you thinking-" James starts.

"I was thinking about finishing this and getting you home to your soon to be wife." I say cutting him off.

"What do we do now?" I look around the room until I spot a window. I look down and notice we're still on the fifth floor. I open the window and stick my head up and start counting. 1,2,3-

"We have 4 floor left until we reach the top floor." I announce. "We could climb the building, but there is no way in hell I'm leaving my wand here. And they're going to notice if he doesn't come back so we'd better think quickly."

"Summon our wands." Sirus says. I smack a hand to my forehead and cringe. Of course!

"Accio mine, Sirius, and James' wands!" I wait a few seconds and I sigh in relief when the three wands fly into my open hand. I toss them they're wands as the door opens. Five death eaters come in and start shooting spells every which way. We respond by shooting curses and hexs. I manage to stun one death eater, but I got hit with a curse that pushed me back into the wall and I could hear the sound of my ribs breaking. I grit my teeth in pain, and push myself off the wall. I stun the death eater who's laughing at me. Now there was even numbers, three on three. The adrenaline rushes through my veins as I put on extra force. Another jet of light gets passes me cutting open my arm. I cringe against the pain and a red light shoots at him hitting him in the chest. I turn and see James with his wand pointing at him.

"Thanks." I mutter wrapping my arms around my ribs, they both look terrible. They're clothes are torn and bloody. They're also singed in some places. I look down and notice mine are the same. "We need to go." They nod and I start running as fast as I can down the whole towards the other stairs case. I stop when we reach two floors up, having no interference.

I look down at my watch, "It's almost four, I think we should tell Lily we might not make it." James looks away and nods. I conjure a patronus.

"Lily, I'm sorry we're doing everything we can but-" I stop as I try to control my breathing wanting to do nothing more than cry. "We fucked up." I tell her then add, "Please don't send one back. I'm so sorry Lily." Sirius places a hand on my shoulder as the silvery tiger disappears.

"Hopefully we'll-" he's cut off as we hear someone screaming at us.

"You three!" I turn around my eyes flashing dangerously as I fire off spells. I will get James at that wedding if it's the last thing I do."

Xx

-Lily's POV-

I'm staring at the clock as it ticks the time away. It's now 6:15. My hair is done, my makeup is done but I don't' have the heart to put on my wedding dress. Not if I'm going to have to take it off a few minutes later. Zee told me she's trying and I believe her but what if they don't come? What if they're hurt? I couldn't deal with it if the last thing I ever did was yell at both of them.

"Remus, do you think they're okay?" He nods.

"Lily, I'm sure they're fine. Why don't you put on your dress?"

"Remus I can't-"

"Lily, I can feel it. They'll be here." Jade says I shake my head.

"Lily Honey." My mum pleads, as I blink back tears.

"Molly, go get the dress off the rack." Hestia orders.

"Lils, you'll be fine. Even if they're a little late it doesn't matter." Alice says. I stand up wanting to do nothing more than leave when suddenly the door is slammed open. James, Sirius, and Zee trying to get in at the same time all end up in a heap on the floor. I don't say anything as James and Sirius stand up, but I know something is wrong. They lean down and lift up Zee by her underarms and she leans against them weakly. Their black clothes are singed, bloody, and torn. James' left side of his face is caked with blood, his lip is split and his eye is black and blue. Sirius' jaw is sticking out at an unnatural angle, his whole right side bruised. Zee looks the worst. Her face is caked with blood also and her cheek bone is popped out clearly broken. I look down and only because her tee shirt is so tight can I see her that her ribs are broken. The whole room is quiet as everyone takes in their appearance.

"Lily," James says. I walk towards them.

"Thank merlin." I say and James smiles.

"I told you, this meant a lot to me too." I shake my head.

"I don't care about that anymore. I'm just thankful you're alive. That you're all alive."

"I told you, if it's the last thing I did I would get him here." Zee says.

"There's plenty of time to get them ready." Molly says walking forward. I lean in and kiss James long and hard.

"I'll see you out there." He says as he him and Sirius support Zee out of the room, with Molly and Remus following.

"You sure will."


	43. The Wedding

**I own nothing but my OC'S!**

Chapter forty three- The Wedding.

-Xeomara's POV-

"Are you okay?" Lily asks me for the twentieth time since I got out here.

"I'm fine." I lie through my teeth. I am in pain. I mean like serious pain. The kind of pain where you just want to throw up, and cry and complain. Yes that's the kind of pain I'm in. We got back a little less than half an hour ago. All we had time for was to get dressed and for me, get my hair and makeup done, no time for healing cuts and bruises, no time for healing broken bones. Again in my case a painful broken set of ribs, or actually all my ribs and my cheek bone which is sticking out at an odd angle, and completely black in blue. All in all along with the gash on my forehead I look a beautiful mess, as Lily calls it.

"You're lying." She says in a sing song voice. Of course she's happy and fine, she's getting married in about ten minutes.

"Line up!" Alice starts commanding everyone. The flower girl which is Sirius' little cousin Nymphadora, who despises her name walks out first, next to Charlie who carried the ring. They make faces as they walk down the aisle because boys and girls have cooties at that age. Next walks Jade and Remus, both looking great. All the brides mates dress are yellow. Yes sunshine yellow, I could have murdered Lily for that one. The dress flows lightly on Jade's thin body. All the dresses are the same, spaghetti straps flowy except mine which is strapless and ties around my tiny waist line. Lily swears to me that I had to be different. My hair is in my natural curls to my waist, well actually no more close to my lower back, covering the scar that long since faded to barely nothing, but still noticeable. Before I know it it's mine turn. I turn around a smile at Lily and she nods. I take a step under the arch way that is decorated with flowers and vines and start walking slowly down the aisle by myself seeing as Sirius is standing next to James. I wink at them when they spot me and I try not laugh at what a mess they look, especially James on his wedding day. The aisle is lined with candles and lilies and white cloth is on the ground for the people to walk on. I walk up to the plat form that were supposed to be standing on which was again covered in candle and I thank merlin that it wasn't a windy night. It truly looked amazing, the candles reflected off the lake water which was a little behind the platform and the flowers from the tree were slowly falling. If I was a girly girl I probably would have cried from the sight. I stand in front of James and kiss his cheek, he in turn kisses mine. I step back into my spot and our eyes connect.

"Thank you so much for everything. I would be nowhere without you." He says in my mind. "That's what a sister does James." I tell him back and he smiles. "Love you." "love you too." I say back and we all turn to look at the arch was as the wagner's march sounds through the grounds. I smile as my best friend emerges looking truly beautiful. Her red curly hair is pulled back in a light French twist with pieced framing her face, Janes' goblin made tiara is on her head, she's wearing light makeup and the dress was gorgeous, it was off white and the bodice clung to her body with goblin made jewels, the rest of the dress flowed out leaving a train on the floor. I turn to James and watch as his split lip breaks out in a breath taking smile. I look past him to Sirius who is grinning madly from ear to ear, as if he feels my gaze he turns to me and smiles, I smile back.

Lily reaches us then; her dad kisses her before shaking hands with James. Lily turns to me to hand me her flowers but when she does she kisses my cheek and whispers,

"Thank you for bringing him home, you're the best sister I could ever ask for." In my ear. I smile and kiss her cheek in return.

"I'll always be there for you." I tell her and a tear rolls down her cheek. We share a little laugh before she turns and takes James hands.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls…" I can see all the muggles looking confused at that but they don't question it. I stare at Sirius and he stares back.

"I love you." I mouth to him, he mouths it back.

"Please exchange the vows." The minister says loudly. James smiles as he looks at Lily and I couldn't have been more happier in that moment. It was as if the war wasn't happening and that we could all just be here in this moment forever. It made you forget about all the bad stuff.

"Lily, I've loved you since our first year at school together. You were this little stuck up know it all that wouldn't fall my charms the way the other girls did." Everyone laughed at that. "But I knew this is where we would end up. Even though you turned me down 754,988 times and yes I did count. I didn't give up hope. I knew that one day you would see me the way I saw you. You mean everything to me and I couldn't imagine marrying anyone else. I've dreamed of this day since the moment I saw you. And now you really can be mine forever. I love you." To my surprise I had to blink back tears. Sirius saw this and laughed silently, I frowned at him.

"James, James, James." Lily starts, creating a chuckle from the crowd. "You were the most annoying, most egomaniac person I had ever met." She stops and then says, "Besides Zee and Sirius of course." I laugh harder as does the audience. "I hated the way you would follow me around on valentine's day giving me roses, and I hated the way you ran your fingers through your hair like you were god's gift to earth. I hated that you asked me out 754,988 times because I hated saying no to you when all I wanted to do was say yes. I've loved you James Harry Potter since third year. At first you were just some little boy who got on my nerves, but in sixth year when something happened to Zee you showed me how much you cared about the people you love. And how devoted you were to them. And I was scared at the way I felt about you. Scared that I actually fell for the arrogant toe rag. But now I know that I was just fighting fate. I was being ridiculous and I'm glad someone set me straight." I smile as I remember our conversations. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, no matter what. Even if do run your fingers through your hair, and think your god's gift to earth. I love you more than anything." She finishes and I hear her sniffle letting me know she's crying. I put my hand on her back soothingly.

"The rings please." I grab the ring and hand it to Lily, as Sirius gives James the other ring. "Do you Harry James Potter take Lily Rose Evans as your wife?"

"I do." He says as Lily slips the ring on his finger.

"Do you Lily Rose Evans take Harry James Potter as your husband?"

"I do." Lily says as James slides the ring on her finger. My eyes meet Sirius' again as we just stare at each other like we did during the other parts of the ceremony.

"…..Then I declare you bonded for life. You may kiss the bride." I don't stray my eyes off of Sirius, but I shake my head quickly as I step forward to congratulate the new couple. I hug Lily first who is crying her eyes out.

"Lily flower, it was amazing! I loved your vows!" She smiles and I wipe the tears off her face. "You picked the right one. Congrats." She nods and turns away from me throwing her arms around Sirius' neck. He just manages to catch her.

"Jimmy." I say walking towards him, he engulfs me in a hug.

"You've done so much for me Maurie. I can never thank you enough." I shake my head as I feel tears running down my cheeks.

"Now I have to share you." I say, he laughs and wipes my face with his thumb.

"You'll never have to share me; there is no one in the world that could take your place. Literally." He says about the fact they we're soulmates. I give a watery chuckle.

"Go get your bride so we can party." I say lightening it up. Lily takes his hands as they walk down the path. Sirius turns to me and discreetly takes most of my weight as we walk down the aisle.

"You're in pain huh?" I shake my head. "I saw the pain creases on your forehead." I grit my teeth as we walk. "Let's go in the bathroom yeah? I can try that cooling charm."

"How's your jaw?" I ask and he grimaces. "Not good? Thought so." We start moving quickly though all the people as the reception starts. Just as we're about ten feet from the door I hear,

"Xeomara sweet heart." I frown because that's what Lily's mum calls me, and Lily's mum is a talker. I'll be here forever.

"Hey Mrs. Evans!" I say as she hugs me tightly. I grind my teeth together. I pull back.

"Sweet heart." Mr. Evans says giving me a softer hug.

"Hello Mr. Evans."

"I haven't seen you in quite some time dear, I except it's because of this organization thing am I right?" I nod.

"Yeah I've been pretty busy, moving into my new flat and all."

"Oh who's this?" Mrs. Evans says finally noticing Sirius. He walks forward and wraps his arm around me again.

"This is James' best mate and my husband Sirius Black." Her eyes widen.

"You're married?!" I give a sheepish smile. She pulls Sirius into a hug as well. "Oh pleasure to meet you!"

"You too Mrs. Evans." Mr. Evans holds out his hands and shakes Sirius.

"You treat this girl well, she's wonderful."

"He treats me perfectly, better than perfect actually." I assure them. "Sorry to end this chat but I really have to go, we'll catch up later?" I ask hopefully.

"Of course dear, go on." I sigh with relief as we walk inside the house; Sirius picks me up and carries me to the nearest bathroom. He sets me down and looks the door with his wand. I start unbuckling his pants so I put the cooling charm on his gash on his thigh. I push his pants down to his ankles while he starts unzipping my dress. A loud knock on the door interrupts me.

"I'm in here!"

"Oh it's just you." James says as he bursts through the door with Lily. "Merlin! Couldn't you wait until later?" James says covering his eyes.

"Honestly Jimmy, I'm doing a cooling charm on his cuts and such. Don't be a prat."

"Oh."

"Yeah, shirt off James." I order as I finish casting the charm on Sirius' jaw as well. My dress falls down to my waist as I stand up straight so I'm in nothing but my strapless bra.

"Lily help him take it off, he's probably in pain."

"Oh I thought I heard some- MERLIN! Couldn't this wait?!" Remus exclaims walking in and closing the door behind him and James.

"Honestly! They're using a cooling charm Remus!" Jade says. "I can heal some of those cuts now."

"No you can't." James says as he sighs in relief from the cold. "All the muggles saw us with the cuts and bruises what would they think if they magically disappear?"

"You're right. Zee stand up and let me cast the cooling charm on you." I stand up as Jade moves on front of me moving her wand over top of my ribs. I sigh in relief as the pain is gone and all I can feel is coldness.

"What a relief." She moves up my cheek and does the same thing as I sigh again. "That feels bloody amazing."

"I know what you mean." Sirius and James exclaim in unison.

"What the hell-?" Peter says walking in.

"Hey Pete!" I yell. "We're using the cooling charm." I explain he nods.

I pull up my dress and turn around so Sirius can zip if for me, when he does I turn around and start fixing his pants and tucking in his white button up shirt, I fixed his tie and his tux jacket.

"Good to go Mr. Black."

"You are too, Mrs. Black." He says as he leans forward and kisses me. "You look breathtaking." I blush and look away.

"Not me, that's Lily." I announce she blushes deeply, the color matching her hair.

"I don't know about that. I mean yeah I look good but breathtaking?" Lily says cockily. I shake my head. Remus grins suggestively at us.

"Let's go party shall we?"

xx

"Alright I want you over there, no not you," The photographer said pointing to Frank. "You." He said pointing to Sirius. We've been at this for at least a half hour; the pictures are driving me mad. First it was just pictures of Lily and James, and then it was lily and the grooms man, James and the brides mates. James and I, Sirius and I, Lily and I. The reserve, but with Lily. Then it was the marauders. Then Lily and The marauders and so on.

"Okay one more picture." He says. I smile at the thought. "Okay happy couple stand together right there under the arch. Best man and maid of honor on the side of them. Yes, good." He says as we stand there. "Arms around each other everyone." He nods. "Smile." I smile and tilt my head in towards Lily as she does the same to me. The flash goes off and I sigh happily.

"Thank Merlin that's over." I whisper in her ear.

"You have no idea."

"Now it's time for the bride and grooms first dance." The band announces. Lily grins and grabs James' hand. I walk over and stand between Sirius and Frank.

"Did you have this many people at your wedding?" I ask my partner, who I was now extremely close with, even though he did punch the punching bag so hard it swung back and broke my nose. Moody just looked at me and told me to clean up the blood.

"Yeah it was mad! My mum was upset you, James, and Sirius didn't make it, but you lot were at school soo.." I scrunch up my nose.

"I haven't seen your mum in ages! She's doing good yeah?" He nods.

"She's around here somewhere. She's taking a great liking to you three." I smile, that is definitely a complement if I ever seen one because Augusta Longbottom didn't like just anyone. Hell she hardly did like anyone.

"What about you?"

"Huh?" I ask shaking my head of my thoughts.

"Your wedding did you-"

"Mate, we didn't really get married." Sirius interrupts wrapping his hand around mine.

"W-what?" He asks confused.

"Well, you saw how we dated last year." He nods. "Well we broke up for a stupid reason this year and after I was in a coma we decided we couldn't live without each other. I know that sounds so romance novel but it's true." He smiles at my words. "And we me and Sirius aren't really the type of people to get married so we just skipped the marriage part but we are married. Girlfriend isn't in our vocabulary. We might not have made it legal but he's my husband in every sense of the word."

"That's cool, I get that." Frank says.

"Yeah it's perfect." Sirius says kissing the top of my head.

"Everyone knew you'd be together anyway. It seems like the only ones who didn't know were you two."

"Yeah guess it did take me a long time. Wish I would have known sooner." Frank smiled and punched my shoulder.

"Everything can't always happen the way we want them too." He said walking over to his wife, and starting spinning her around the dance floor.

"Can you dance?" Sirius asks me. I nod and take his hand as we head to dance floor.

I danced with Sirius most of the night, except for leaving him a few times to dance with Peter, Remus, Frank, and Albus of course. Everyone was here, hell even Mad-Eye was here. I look over to where James and Lily are dancing, he barely let go of her all night. I break away from Sirius and stride over to them.

"Can't ask you Sister to dance James?" I say placing my hand on my hips, tapping my foot.

"Lily my love, I'm sorry but I think I should dance with her." He kisses her and then adds, "Before she kills me." I grin and take the hand he holds out with Sirius grabs Lily and pulls her close to dance.

"So it all turned out okay." I say as we sway to the music.

"Yeah I guess it did. Remember how I told you that you were awesome earlier?" I nod, "Well you're way cooler now."

"I still can't believe we managed to save those muggles. Those poor muggles, half starved, beaten almost to death. It made me so sick to look at." He holds me close as I shiver as I picture the scene in my mind.

"But we _saved_ them. They're alive and back home with their families because of _us. _ It's an amazing feeling isn't it? Saving someone's life, we made a family whole again just by doing what we did. Even if we hadn't made it home in time for the wedding it would have still be worthwhile."

"It would have been you're right." He grins and leans his chin down on my shoulder as I rest my head against his chest.

"Don't tell Lily that though." He adds seriously.

"Oh James, what am I going to do without you for two week? What am I going to do when I need you and you aren't there?" He pulls back and looks at me.

"I'll always be there, just come over for Merlins sake. You have a key to the house." We dance silently and when the song ends I lean up and kiss his lips in a sisterly fashion.

"Thank you James."

"For what?"

"For being you."

Xx

"Take this potion, and this one." Jade says handing me and Sirius two different potions. "Your bones will reform and fix themselves over night. It will probably be a little painful but I'm sure you'll make it."

"If they can't dance like they did all night I'm sure they can take a little pain." Remus adds stepping forward. He leans down and kisses my cheek, before grabbing Jade's hand.

"Good night, see you tomorrow I suppose?" I nod my head.

"Night!" I call as they close the door. Sirius immediately grabs the potion in my hand and takes a mouthful like she said after drinking the one in his hand. I take them both doing the same before I set them down on the end table.

We enter our room and I smile. The whole room is black, black carpet, black walls, black furniture, the sheets were made of satin and the comforter made of silk. It was an exact replica of the one we used to use in the room of requirements. I loved this room. Lily asked me after we decorated why everything was black. I just told her I'd tell her later, Sirius and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Unzip me?" I ask turning around, he unzips me rubbing his hand up and down my back as he does.

"Not tonight Sirius." I warn as I grit my teeth against more pain. He groans and removes his hand as we change him into just boxers no tee shirt and I'm wondering if he's trying to tempt me, while I changed into sweatpants and one of his tee shirts. I lay down on the bed and he pulls me close wrapping his arm around me, I lean my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes only to open them when I feel coldness on my ribs. Sirius hand his hand holding an ice pack there.

"You're an angel." I tell him leaning over and kissing his chest.

"Not tonight." He mimics. I roll my eyes. His hand starts digging through his bedside table.

"What are you doing?" He ignores me and keeps digging. I sit up curiously as he pulls himself up to and takes the hand holding the ice box to hold something in his hands. "Sirius." He doesn't smile as he hands me a small velvet black box. My eyes widen as I take the box, and open it with a shaking hand. I gasp when I see the ring. It's the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen. It's a thin white gold band with a large and I mean large square cut lapis lazuli stone. I knew it would match the color of my eyes perfectly. I look back up to him and see he know has a small smile on his face obviously liking my reaction.

I take the sapphire ring off my left hand and switch it my right. "Put it on me." He takes the box from my hand and slowly slips the ring onto my ring finger.

"I told you I would get you a ring." He says. I don't answer him but continue to stare at the ring as tears flood my eyes. I was never one to cry, never one to get emotion when something like this happens to them but hear I was crying. "Xeomara." He says as he wipes the tears off my face. "What is wrong?"

"It's beautiful." I tell him.

"That's why you're crying?" He asks. I shake my head no.

"It's just you this means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me." I look up and I notice that his eyes were also sparkling with tears. "You're crying too!" I say pouting out my lower lip.

"I am not." He says as tears fall down his cheeks. "Fine, I am." He says pouting as well. "It means a lot to me too. I just couldn't imagine being away from you ever again, and I don't know just being at the wedding got me thinking about things like this and the war. I love you so much. Way too much, I've never loved anyone as much as I love you." He says and now we're both crying freely.

"Sirius, you mean everything to me. Everything. I need you now, and I'll need you in ten years from now, and I'll need you when we're both old and dying. I'll even need you when we're in heaven. I love you more than you probably understand." He shakes his head. "No I really do. I'm glad I fell in love with you. You're perfect for me. You're Sirius." He grins.

"Yes I am."

"Look at us, we're a mess." I say wiping the tears off his face as he wipes mine away as we both laugh. The laughter comes to a sudden stop we our eyes lock blue on grey. We stare at each other for what could have been weeks, months, hell maybe even years. We stare into the passion over takes me and I can't stand it anymore. I crash my lips against his, and roll over top into our bodies are plastered together, if we get any closer we'd just mesh together. He holds me tightly to his body as he returns this kiss with as much passion as I put out. I feel him smile against my mouth and pull back.

"Not tonight." He says yet again mimicking my voice, as he starts to sit up. I push him down on the bed as I growl,

"Shut up." And trust me when I say he did.


	44. Gone

**I OWN NOTHING BUT MY OC'S! Hey guys! I want to thank you for all the reviews and I want to thank you all for reading my story! I wrote a new story called "The Girl With The Purple Hair" It's another Sirius/OC story and the first four chapters are already up, so check it out! The full summary is inside.**

**-smithchickx13**

**xx**

Chapter forty four- Gone.

A loud crack echoes through my bedroom, I sit up quickly and blink my eyes open. Lily is standing in the middle of my room clutching something in her hand. It's been at least 3 months since Lily and James had gotten married. We had only one month left until we were official aurors, Jade had been accepted as a healer full time now, Molly was pregnant with twins. She was due in april. Everything was going well, well as well as things could be with the war going on. We all still did a lot of work for the order, patrolling or going on mission, which was where Sirius and James were right now. They'd been gone for two weeks and should be coming home sometime next week. They update whenever they could which was rare because they had a lot to do. I was trying to stay positive hoping that they were okay but it was nerve racking not being there with them.

"Lily what's wrong?" I ask wiping sleep from my eyes. Her hands were shaking as she walked over and slipped into bed beside me.

"I- I-" she stutters, and then starts to cry. That sure wakes me up, I grab her hands and she drops what's in hers.

"Lily it's okay, just tell me-" I stop when I glance down and see a muggle pregnancy test.

"I think I'm pregnant." She said sobbing loudly.

"Oh Lily." I say wrapping my arms around her tightly. "It will be okay!"

"No it won't James will hate me!"

"He will not hate you!" I protest pulling back from the hug and looking at her. "He would love to have a child. He's always wanted kids."

"But-but-"

"You haven't taken the test yet have you?" she shakes her head no. "Come one get up. I'll owl Alice and Jade to come over and we'll all do it together okay?" She nods. I stand up and rotate my stiff shoulder before walking over to the desk in the corner and scribbling the same message on two different pieces of paper and sending them off. No more than three minutes later there was a loud bang on the door and Jade barged it.

"What's wrong?!" She asks glances from me to Lily, before I answer a loud crack sounds and Alice is standing there.

"Lily thinks she's pregnant." To my surprise Alice hugs her.

"Oh Lily! Congrats!" Lily hugs her back.

"How long have you thought this Lily?" Jade asks.

"Well I've been throwing up a lot recently, and I missed my period actually and well I've been tired all the time."

"Lily it would be great if you were pregnant, Molly and your kids could play together." Alice says grinning madly.

"Well what are we waiting for let's go take this dammed thing." I announce. Lily nods, she goes into the bathroom and after she's finished she sticks the stick in the cup.

"How long does it say?"

"About four minutes, I'll set a timer." Jade tells her. She nods and I grab Lily's hand and grip it tightly.

We all sit there quietly for four minutes no one knowing what to say when finally the timer I set beeps loudly. He hand shakes as she reaches for it.

"Do you want me to?" She nods gratefully. I pull it out and see a tiny negative sign. I know this should be a good thing because there is so much stuff going on but something tells me Lily wanted this baby, and she's not going to be excited.

"It's negative." I say softly. Jade hugs Lily.

"Well that's a good thing right?" Lily nods and manages a smile though I can tell she's dying to burst out in tears. "Listen Lily I would stay but Remus and I are going to my mother's today to visit the baby and such. I'll owl you later?"

"Bye." She says as Jade walks out the door.

"Lily, I'm sorry." Alice says.

"No it's fine I didn't want a baby anyway." Lie.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure Alice!" She says testily. Alice smiles.

"If you say so." She kisses Lily good bye with a promise to drop by later.

"Lily." I say and she looks at me before blinking quickly and looking away.

"I guess I just have the flu then huh?" I swallow thickly.

"I guess so." She looks down and bites her lip. "Lily just cry."

"No. I told you I didn't want the baby."

"Lily, you wanted the baby."

"I didn't!" She says angrily.

"Lily it's only me you don't have to lie."

"I didn't want the bloody effing BABY!" She screams, her chest heaving and then she starts to cry. I get up and wrap her in a tight hug as she sobs into my shirt.

"Lily it's okay, you can try again." She doesn't say anything just continues to cry. I walk her into my bedroom and lay down with her on the bed. She lays her head on my shoulder and that's where we stayed all day. We didn't get up to eat, we didn't go to the bathroom, or go watch tv. We laid in silence all day in the darkness of my room falling in and out of sleep while Lily continued to cry.

Lily was currently crying silently on my shoulder, while I stared up at the ceiling rubbing my hand in circles comfortingly on her back when I hear my front door being unlocked and two laughing voices.

"Honestly, once we found them didn't put up much fight did they." Sirius.

"Not at all. I excepted more, that was fairly easy." James. I don't say anything, but I feel Lily bury her head deeper in my shoulder as she tries to muffle a sob.

"What was that?" James asks.

"I'm not sure, come on." I close my eyes when I hear their footsteps walking towards the bedroom. When the door is pushed open I blink open my eyes as light floods the room.

"Lily? Zee?" Lily doesn't more from where she is laying and I don't move either.

"What happened?" Sirius asks nervously, looking back and forth between Me and James.

I open my mouth to speak but curse mentally when I see the muggle pregnancy test sitting on the desk. James and Sirius' eyes both move around the room and land on it. Sirius walks over to it.

"What the hell is this?" He says looking over the box. Lily starts crying slightly harder.

"Lily." James asks hesitantly.

"Go away!" She commands her voice thick.

"But Lily I-"

"Please leave! Zee!" She begs.

"Sirius, James go sit in the living room I'll be there in a minute." They nod and leave the room.

"Lily." I say sitting up and looking down at where she now curled into a ball. "Do you want me to tell them?" She nods. "Do you want to sleep here tonight?"

"Yes." She answers. I kiss her forehead.

"I'll be right back." She nods and takes in a ragged breath of air. I slip out of bed and walk towards the door and open in heading towards the living. Both Sirius and James are sitting on the couch with nervous expressions on their faces.

"What was that?" Sirius asks as he sees me.

"A muggle pregnancy test." I answer.

"It was obviously for Lily." James asks looking over me, I blank my thoughts from him. I'd rather tell him outloud. "Don't do that. Tell me." He commands. I clear my throat.

"Lily came over earlier today and told me she thought that she was pregnant. I owled Alice and Jade who came right over and Lily took the test." I explain.

"Okay, I don't care about that. Tell me whether or not my wife is pregnant." James says angrily.

"Not." I say.

"Not?"

"Not pregnant." Sirius places a hand on his back in comfort and James closes his eyes.

"Good." Sirius removes his hand and I widen my eyes in shock.

"Excuse me?"

"I said good, I didn't want the baby."

"Lily wanted the baby, she's been crying all day James! We haven't moved from my bedroom! She's really upset!" James' face is blank.

"Well I didn't want the baby." I walk up to him and for the first time in my life I reach my hand out and smack him across the face. The sound echoes in the room, and his head turns with the force. He reaches his hand up to his cheek and we lock eyes. His eyes start to water and in turn so do mine.

"Thank you." He says, I stare into his hazel eyes.

"For what?"

"For the wake up call." He says swallowing thickly.

"Oh Jimmy." I say pulling him into a hug. I can feel his thoughts and pain pouring into my head and I wish there was something to make it easier but there wasn't.

"I think I should go see her." He says removing himself from the hug.

"Actually James, she doesn't want to see you right now. She wants to spend the night here." I admit.

"She doesn't want to see me?" He asks dejected.

"Not tonight. I'll bring her over tomorrow morning after I give her some breakfast and tea okay?" He nods.

"Coming Sirius?" Sirius stands.

"I'm glad you're both okay. We'll talk tomorrow." I say giving Sirius a quick kiss before running back into my room and slipping into my bed next to Lily.

"D-did you tell them?" She stutters as I hear the door close.

"Yes, James is upset as well. I told him I'd bring you home tomorrow." She nods and lays her head back down on my shoulder. We sit in silence again like we did all day as she cries into the night.

Xx

"You ready to see James?" I ask as we sip our tea. She nods, looking considerably better than yesterday.

"I think so." I stand up, putting my arm around Lily's shoulder and walking out my door after locking it. I don't wait for her to say anything, I hold onto her as I appirate to the Potter Manor. I feel squeezed and suffocated before landing with a crack on the front lawn. I unlock the door with my key and walk inside.

"Think they're still sleeping?" She asks, I'm about to answer when I hear so cluttering in the kitchen. We walk towards it and open the door. Sirius and James are both moving zombie like while making coffee and toast. Both of them are shirtless with just sweatpants, I notice burns and cuts across their backs.

"Love?" I ask softly. They both drop what they were holding and turn towards the sound of my voice. I watch as James sighs in relief and lunges to pull Lily in to his arm where she breaks down and starts to cry yet again. He sits down and pulls her on his lap muttering things in her ear as he tries holding in his tears.

"Hey." Sirius says walking up towards me.

"Hey." With a sigh he pulls me into his arms and just holds me. We didn't say anything we didn't kiss I was still just relishing in the fact that he was alive and home. That he had come back to me okay. I clung to him tightly not wanting to let go.

He murmurs something into my hair that sounds like, "I love you." But I can't be sure. Finally after what could have been hours he pulls back from the hug and his hand comes up to brush against my cheek pushing the hair out of my face.

"I missed you." He admits.

"I was so nervous, I didn't know if you would come back. What would I have done if I lost you and James?" He laughs and his lips brush mine.

"I would be an idiot not to come back to you." I smile finally and pull him into a longer and deeper kiss.

"You would be an idiot." I tell him, and we both laugh. I reluctantly let him go and eat his breakfast, sitting down at the table next to him. His hand gripping mine rubbing soft reassuring circles.

"However you today flower?" Sirius asks, his eyes intent on Lily's face. She brushes a few tears out of her eyes.

"Better now that you're both home." She says lean into James' embrace.

"So what have you guys been up to?" I ask.

"Well it was said that some death eaters were traveling aboard to spread word of Voldemort, so we were supposed to tail and catch them. Went simple enough." Sirius says on shrug before he sips his coffee.

"I didn't take as long as we excepted. We were only gone for about 2 weeks."

"That's good." Lily says.

"What about you guys, what did you do?" Lily smiles and I groan.

"Wedding plans." We say in unison except Lily sounded happy were as I sounded miserable.

"I'm sure you wanted to die." Sirius says his expression amused looking at me.

"It wasn't so bad because I usually found a way to skip out of it and hung around with Remus." I tell them.

"What about Peter?" Lily and I exchange glances.

"He's been quite busy lately apparently. We haven't really seen him much have we?" Lily says looking around at us.

"Do you think he's okay?" I ask worriedly.

"I'm sure he's fine." James says assuring us. A loud crack brings our attention towards the living room.

"Lily!" Alice yells.

"In here!" She calls back. Alice and Frank burst through the door and grin.

"Hey guys." Frank greets shaking hands with the boys. He punches my shoulder in greeting like we always do, and leans down to kiss my cheek aswell.

"Lily do you want to go um-urm talk upstairs?" Alice asks, pointedly.

"Sure." Lily says standing up, and kissing James.

"Zee?" Alice asks and I shake my head no. They both nod, and walk out the door.

"I heard about Lily, you okay mate?" Frank asks James.

"Yeah, I guess. I never really thought much about having kids until she could have been pregnant." Frank nods.

"It's scary stuff, Alice thought she was pregnant in seventh year."

"Ah, that explains why your mother hates her." I say. He looks thoughtful for a moment before laughing and saying,

"Among other things." I bark out a laugh.

"So mission accomplished?" Franks asks looking between the two boys.

"Of course." They say wearing identical grins. A loud knock sounds on the back door.

"I'll get it." I say walking towards the door, when I pull back I see Albus.

"Oh hello Albus! Come in, we're just having some breakfast."

"Thank you Xeomara dear." He says coming in, I shut the door behind us and he takes a seat with us around the table.

"Is something wrong?" Sirius asks.

"Urgent news." He says. "There has been word that up near northern France that a lot of death eaters having been spreading rumors and such. There have been many attacks that the French minister doesn't know what to do. They don't have enough aurors to work up there and they are in need of some help. Whole cities are being burned down as we speak, families turn apart."

"That's terrible." I voice out.

"I, well the minister asked me to send two of my order members to help them out." I raise my eye brows.

"Who are you sending?" James asks, with a nervous glint in his eye.

"Xeomara I would like for you assistance." He says looking at me.

"I-well of course I'd like to help."

"And you Frank?"

"You require me and Zee?" He says sounding unsure.

"Yes, I thought long and hard about who to send and in the end I decided you to would be perfect for the job." Frank sucks in a breath.

"Then I'm in." I nod my head in agreement. James and Sirius look livid.

"You would be staying there from three to four months, working for the French Ministry. We'll have you staying right near the ministry in a flat that is already paid for. You will not be able to contact anyone from where you are staying. The only way will be through me, when I arrive. Which won't be very often." Albus says. Wow, three to four months without Sirius, without contact. "You leave tonight." He adds.

"NO." James says standing up and shaking his head. "No."

"James?" Albus asks.

"I am not having her being sent there where the war is extremely bad right now. Not knowing if she's okay because she can't contact us. No. It is absolutely not going to happen." I absolutely abhor that he doesn't think I can handle myself.

"You are not my father James." I say too standing up.

"Well it's not like you real father gave a damn about you, so maybe someone has to take his place." I raise my eye brow in shock. He did not just go there.

"That James Harry Potter was a low blow. I can take care of myself. I don't need your constant worry about me."

"Is is that bad that I'm worried about you, that I don't want you to get hurt?" He asks angrily his hazel eye flashing.

Mine too flash dangerously. "No it's bad that you don't think I can handle myself."

"You've been hurt enough haven't you?" I glare at him.

"I do just fine thanks. You're not my keeper James; you can't always be there to protect me. And besides I don't _need_ you to protect me."

"You don't need me?" He asks with smirk. "You don't need me?" He repeats again.

"No." I say not taking my eyes of his. "I don't."

"Fine." He says with a shrug. "Fine." He leans close to me, and glares so harshly it almost makes me cringe. "Xeomara Elizabeth Black we're done then. If you swear you don't need me and you walk out this door we're done." My blood boils angrily.

"Fine." I say and with a turn of my heel, I push open the swinging door and walk through the living room and out the front door slamming it shut. I close my eyes and turn on the spot thinking of my flat, I'm suffocated before I end with an angry crack in my living room. I rush into my room and begin packing all the think that I think I'll need. Which mostly include black clothes and black robes. I pack pajamas and shampoo and such. I add in a few cocktail dresses and nice clothes incase there are parties that we have to attend. I continue stuffing things in my suitcase thinking about what James said. How could he not think I can handle myself? I proved on many occasions that I could take care of myself. Sure I got hurt a few times and got stuck in bad situations but I did that best anyone could do for themselves. And what he said about my father well that was without a doubt the biggest low blow someone could ever give. I can't believe after all these years our friendship finally ends. I shake my head bitterly.

A knock on the door interrupts my thought. When I pull it open Albus enters.

"Xeomara." He starts.

"Don't Albus. I don't want to hear it. Me and James are through." He sighs heavily and sits down on my couch.

"You can't just end what you two have."

"Well I did."

"Zee," he says using my nickname, "I just think-"

"Please let's not talk about this." I say staring at him. He sighs and nods. "I've pack some clothes, mostly black and then I added a few nice things incase there are parties and such we have to attend. Do you know of anything else I'll need?"

"I believe that will be fine." He says. "Frank agreed aswell and he's already told Alice. He'll meet you hear tonight to appirate to the ministry." I nod. "I've talked to Alastor and he agreed to pass you in the course even though you won't be there to complete you last month."

"Good, I was actually worrying about that." He smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Well that will be all." He hugs me and then pulls back. "I'll see you as soon as I can."

"I'll be waiting." He walks over to the door and right before he walks out he turns to me again. "Just think about talking to James." Before I can even say anything back he turns on the spot and with a crack he's gone.

Xx

"Zee, just talk to him." Sirius pleads for the fiftieth time today. "You're leaving in about 15 minutes, just talk to him."

"No."

"You'll be gone for months, without be able to contact us. Are you sure you don't want to talk to him before you leave?" I was going to say no when I thought about it.

"If he shows up tonight before I leave that's fine but he's the one that ended it. If he wants to talk he'll come." Sirius sighs and brings his arms around me in a tight hug.

"I'm going to miss you. I just got home and you're leaving me for 3 to four months. What am I supposed to do without you?"

"Go to the bar, pick up a few chicks." I reply with a light chuckle.

"Don't even joke about that." He warns. "I would never want to be with anyone that's not you." I smile against his shirt. "I don't want you to go." He whines.

"Sirius this is my job. This is what I'm working for. I have to go." He nods.

"I understand that I just wish you didn't have to."

A knock on the door separates us and I open it to see Alice and Frank. Frank is carrying a large suitcase, and Alice has tears running down her face. Behind her is Peter, Remus, Jade, Molly, Arthur, and the boys. I stand back to allow everyone to come in.

"What are you all doing here?" I ask surprised.

"You didn't think we'd allow you to leave for three months and not say goodbye, did you?" Molly asks moving forward to hug me tightly.

"Be safe, do you hear me?"

"I will." I say hugging her back tightly, before she lets me go and Arthur takes her place, tell me also to be safe. I lean down to make myself eye level with the boys.

"Will you come back?" Little Charlie asks me.

"Of course." I say with a smile.

"I'm going to miss you." Bill admits. "Whose gonna play pranks with us." Molly rolls her eyes.

"Well Sirius will of course." I say reaching my arms around both little boys and hugging them. "Be good for you mother and father." I say not in the least bit meaning it. "I'll miss you both." They hug me back and after exchanges similar good byes with Frank they leave, just as Lily runs in. By herself.

"James didn't come?" I ask almost feeling like I want to cry. I was so sure he'd come. He shakes her head solemnly. And runs forward crying as she does and hugs me tightly, so tightly that I almost can't breathe.

"I'll miss you so much. It's going to kill me not being able to see you, or know if you're okay." I nod and feel my eyes welling up, but I don't let them spill.

"I'll send letters with Albus when he comes to visit. I'll miss you too." She pulls back and kisses my cheek.

"Please, please be careful. Love you!" She tells me before running at Frank and throwing her arms around him. "likewise!" I call to her.

"Be careful." Peter warns as he hugs me. I hug him tightly missing him around.

"Hang around with the boys alright Wormy? We all miss you." He nods and says good byes as he too walks out. That leave Remus, Jade who have yet to say good bye to me.

Jade steps forward, crying hysterically. "I'm going to miss you so much. If you get hurt I don't know what I'd do. I'm going to hate it when you're gone!" She says throwing herself at me. I wrap my arms around her in a hug. She steps back and Remus steps forward. He cups my cheeks in his hands and I'm stuck staring at amber eyes.

"Don't do anything stupid, Don't take any unnecessary risks, and do not, I repeat do not get yourself killed. Do you understand me?" He asks sternly.

"Yes."

"I love you." He says through tears on his face, I allow myself to cry a little as well.

"I love you to Remus. And I promise to be careful. And I also promise to write when I can." He nods and finally pulls me into a hug. He steps back tugging on Jade's arm.

"Come on beautiful, let's let them exchange good byes." He says looking at me and Sirius. Finally Sirius grabs my arms and turns me towards him.

"I hate when you're not hear. I hate being apart from you. I'm going to hate even more not knowing what is going on and what is happening. I'm going to have to rely on the news. If anything happens to you.." He states trailing off.

"It won't." I promise.

"I love you, remember that okay. Remember that when some cute French guy asks you out. Remember you have me waiting for you alright."

"I could never forget." I say reassuring him with a kiss on the cheek. I can hear Alice crying while her and Frank exchange good bye's. He takes me in his arms and kisses me deeply, as kiss filled with so much emotion that my head is spinning and my knees grow weak.

"Ready?" Frank asks and I reluctantly pull away from Sirius. I nod.

"I'll miss you so much, take care of my Frank for me." Alice says hugging me.

"Of course."

"You better take care of Zee." Sirius warns sternly. "If you come home without her…"

"You'll kill me?" Frank says and they both laugh. Sirius gives Frank a manly hug before Frank stand by my side and takes my hand, I take one look around towards the door hoping to merlin James would coming running in to say good bye. But after a few moments when I realize he's not coming I turn back around.

"It's time." He says. I allow tears to roll down my face as I stare at Sirius who has his arm wrapped around a sobbing Alice.

"I'll see you soon." I say with a small smile.

**-Sirius' POV-**

See gives me a small smile through her tears as her and Frank vanish with a loud pop. Alice sobs harder.

"What if something happens Sirius?" She says clutching my shirt with her small hands as she sobs into my shirt.

"Nothing will happen. I have faith in them."

"I couldn't stand it if something happened! What would I do?"

"I don't know Alice." I say sadly, "All we can do is-"

"Sirius!" I turn towards the door and see James standing there panting. "Where is she?" I shake my head. "She left?" James says looking more defeated than I ever saw him.

"She's gone mate." I confirm. I release Alice and walk over to where James is standing shell shocked.

"She thinks I hate her. I yelled at her. What if that's the last conversation we ever have and she think I hate her." I place a hand on his shoulder as Alice walks up and grabs his hand.

"She knows you love her James." She says. He shakes his head, as a tear rolls down his cheek.

"If that's the last thing I ever said to her, I'll never forgive myself." He says. "Never."


	45. The French Ministry

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for the reviews!!!!!**

Chapter forty five- The French Ministry.

I landed outside the French ministry tears still on my cheeks, Frank's hand still in mine. He didn't tell me it would be alright and he didn't let go. Throughout the whole process of getting in we stayed silent. I didn't know what to think. I mean I'm going to be over here for four months with only one of my close friends, I can't contact my other ones and James didn't come and say good bye. I guess that's really it between us. I just don't understand. It's going to be bad around here. I can already feel the panic in the air. I'm going to have my work cut out for me.

"Frank Longbottom and Xeomara Black?" I look towards the older woman who called our names.

"Yes." Frank answers. She walks towards us her hand extended.

"I'm Jane Dechamp." She says her accent thick. Frank shakes her hand then I do.

"Nice to meet you." I say politely.

"I was told by the Minister to meet you down here. If you would just follow me.." She says turning around and walking towards a large elevator. Frank and I follow without and word and squeeze into the elevator filled up with employees, all of whom were speaking French. I could tell this made Frank uncomfortable. I leaned into his ear, not letting go of his hand.

"They all know who were are. They're talking about us." He raises an eye brow.

"You speak French?"

"Fluently. They're saying we don't look as great as Dumbledore said we were. They said we were too young." He shakes his head.

"Well we'll show them won't we?" I smile for the first time since leaving. Finally we make it to the top floor. We follow Mrs. Dechamp out of the lift and down a long and narrow hall way. We reach a large wooden door at the end and she opens it for us to walk in. The office is very large and painted midnight blue. There were couches in the waiting room and three more offices inside; one I'm guess was the Minister's.

"Go straight through that door, he's expecting you." I nod my head and turn to the very last door. I knock politely first.

"Enter." I step inside, Frank next to me. The office if possible was larger than the one out there. It was filled with book shelves covered in books, many pictures of past Ministers, and a large desk with seats in front. Frank and I walk up to front desk our hands extended. The minister was a tall and slim man, his dark hair was receding and his smile was charming. There was another man sitting next to him who I guessed was the head of aurors. He was tall and built, not too much older than we were maybe late twenties early thirties, he had dark hair, hazel eyes, and was handsome, very handsome.

"Hello Minster, I'm Xeomara Black." I say extending my hand when we finally reach him. He takes my hand and then turns to Frank.

"I'm Frank Longbottom pleasure to meet you Mr. Devault." He takes Franks hand as well.

"Yes, Pleasure. This is my head auror, Gaspard Franco." I shake his hand as well, as does Frank.

"Well take a seat." He said in a very thick accent. Frank and I take the seats in front of his desk while he turns to Franco.

"Ceci qui est Dumbledore nous a envoys?" He asks. (Is this who Dumbledore sent us?) I narrow my eyes. Franco looks over us before turning to Devault.

"Ils regardent des jeunes, la droite de l'école." (They look young, right out of school.) Now I'm fully glaring at the men.

"What is it Zee?" Frank whispers. I shush him so I can hear the rest.

"Oui, j'ai pensé comme beaucoup me. La fille est petite, peut-être même trop petite. Et le garçon bien il a construit et a la série sur mais ils comptent juste sur les jeunes pour savoir n'importe quoi de la guerre." (Yes, I thought as much myself. The girl is small maybe even too small, the boy well he's built and has the right set up but they just look to young to know anything about the war."

"Excuser me Secourt. Nous pouvons être jeunes mais nous ne sommes pas d'idiot. J'ai vu si une bonne partie de la guerre dans le dernier trois ans. Je même ai fait face à Voldemort deux fois. Donc s'il vous plaît excuser nous est aux jeunes pour vous. Si vous aimeriez que nous pouvons vous partir court numéroté et la feuille maintenant." (Excuse me Minister, we may be young but we are not fools. I've seen so much of the way these last three years. I have even faced Voldemort twice. So please excuse us for being too young for you. We can you short numbered and leave right now) I say glaring daggers at the two men.

"I wasn't aware you spoke French Mrs. Black." Devault says.

"Well now you know." Frank grabs my hand.

"I want to ask you two a few questions."

"Go on then." Frank says rudely. He might not have known what he said but he knows enough.

"You both are avid members of the order of the phoenix are you not?"

"Yes." We both answer.

"Now Dumbledore didn't give me any information on you two, I asked him for help and he sent you both right away. What are your ages?" I make my facial expression Blank.

"I'll be 19 New Years Day." He turns to Frank.

"I'm twenty." He nods.

"And you graduated when..?"

"In June." I answer promptly.

"The June before last."

"Were you trained under Auror Moody?"

"Naturally." I answer Franco.

"But you did not complete your training."

"We were told this would count as our last month sir." Frank tells him.

"Okay and how long have you both been members?"

"I was doing work for the order since my sixth year in Hogwarts, but I was not a full member until June."

"June." He nods.

"I apologize for my rudeness earlier, it's that your age caught me off guard."

"Understandable." Frank says, still not warmed up to him.

"I'm not sure yet if you've done battle sights, but we have many here. You will be cleaning up the messes along with the other aurors, and you two will have the job of telling the families about the loved ones they lost." I swallow thickly. "That will complete your auror training. And after that you may fight as an auror for our ministry." We nod.

"Tomorrow please report to the ministry at 6 am sharp. Take an elevator to the basement and I will meet you there." Franco says. I nod.

"Well it was a pleasure meeting you. I hope to see you both soon." We shake hands one last time before Frank and I leave.

"What the hell was that all about?" Frank asked once we reach the elevator.

"They were stuck on our age, and how short I was. I told them that we'd leave if they wanted." He grins and slings an arm around my shoulders.

"Let's just get to this flat yeah?" I nod. Once we get out on the street, it's late and no one is outside.

"It must be really bad around here." Frank comments. The eeriness of the street almost sends chills down my spine. We walk in silence to the flat we were told was ours. I sign in at the front desk and retrieve our key. We walked all the way up to the top floor and I unlocked the door. I pushed it open and just stared. It was small, not too small but a hell of a lot smaller than my flat. It had three doors which I assumed were the bathroom, and the two bedrooms. The kitchen was connected to the living with a small round table in the corner. There was two couches and a muggle tv thing. The walls were off white, the floors were dark cherrywood.

"Which bedroom, first or second?" He shrugs.

"First I guess." I nod. I head over to the third door. The bedroom was the same color as the living room with the same wooden floors. There was a door which connected to the bathroom in between our bedrooms and it was the same with Franks. There was a small closet and a desk, and a full sized bed with a tan color comforter. I set my things on my bed and started unpacking, filling the closet up with my clothes and setting certain things on my desk. I gathered up my shower things and started walking into the bathroom where Frank was doing the same.

"The whole house is painted off white. Everything is off white and tan." He states. I place my shampoo and conditioner in the shower.

"I know, it's creeping me out. Complete opposite of my entirely black bedroom." He nods. I start placing the little makeup I had in the cabinets along with toothpaste and a tooth brush.

"Well I think I'm just going to head to bed, we have a long day ahead of us." He nods, with a kiss on the cheek I'm back in my room. I change into a pair of Sirius' sweatpants that I had taken and one of James' tee shirts. I turned off the light with my wand and climbed into bed. I stared up at my white ceiling. I wonder what Sirius is doing right now, and Lily, and Jade, and Remus. I wonder what James is doing. I wonder if he's regretting our fight, if he's regretting not coming to say good bye. I start playing with the ring his mother had made for us, wondering if he's still wearing it. Do soulmates stop talking? Is it possible for us not to be friends? Has it ever happened before? Somehow I think it hasn't but hey, I guess there is a first time for everything.

Xx

We've been here for three weeks now, no contact from anyone. I haven't even seen Dumbledore. We've spent most of our time training with the other aurors in the basement. We have yet to have a battle sight to clean up. Frank and I kept to ourselves, not really talking with the other trainees. Though a few of the men had asked me out on a date. I just told them no, not wanting to talk about Sirius because it was painful because I missed him so much. Frank and I really shocked everyone. We were beating every trainee when it came to dueling. Let's just say that we could have probably beaten most of the aurors there. Gaspard Franco was very impressed, even the minister who I was still iffy about told us he was impressed. After work Frank and I would cook dinner, watch tv and then go to bed. None of us talked about what we were missing back at home. He never mentioned Alice and I never mentioned Sirius, it was just easier that way. Though I was sure we both thought about them constantly.

"I want you all two run two miles! Go!" Gaspard blew the whistle and then we were off. I could hear a lot of the French cursing as we ran. I just stayed as close to Frank as I could, some of the French were very persistent in asking for dates. None of them knew we were married.

I finished second with Frank, and that's when the alarm went off.

"Everyone! Get with your partners now!" I looked at the time and saw that it was five. Frank grabbed my arm tightly. Then a young man ran through the doors.

"There has been an attack, downtown Paris. The aurors are on their way." He nods.

"Okay listen up everyone. When we are given the signal, I want you all to apparate to the battle sight, where you will be doing damage control understood. Black, Longbottom." We look towards him. "After the injured and dead if any are sent to St. Alphard, Longbottom you will inform the families of the injured, Black those of the dead." We nod. The hours ticked on and I was wondering just how bad a mess it would be when we found it. I was not used to waiting, if there was an attack I was there raising hell and capturing as many death eaters as I could. I hated the French Ministry, it was nothing like our own, and now was one of the times where I wished I could be back in London. Another alarm signaled.

"Go!" I didn't apparate, but Frank who was holding my arm turned on the spot bringing me with him. I landed in the middle of the street. I'll never forget the sight that I saw. There was blood running down the street, large fires everywhere and the smell of burning flesh. The survivors were screaming over the friends and family they had lost, and some were simply screaming from the pain. That was the only sound we heard. I went around from person to person, some were completely mangled, while others were so burnt you could barely see their faces. Others were just simply dead, staring into nothing. We sent all the bodies to St. Alphards injured and dead. It took at least four of us to rid the street of the fire. After that we washed the streets of the blood and Frank and I apparated to St. Alphards. Where we were told to wait for our lists. A little over an hour later, I was handed a list with twenty five names on it. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I'll meet you at home okay?" Frank says gripping my shoulder. I nod and he kisses my forehead.

"Mrs. Johnson, I am sorry to inform you…."

"Mr. Leeds, I am sorry to inform you…"

"Mrs. and Mr. Allcot, I am sorry to inform you…"

The whole night went on like that, most people screamed before I even finished my sentence. I visited people who had lost husbands, daughters, son, wives. It was the hardest thing I had ever had to do in my life. I walked into the flat where Frank was sitting.

"Hey, I'm just going to go to bed okay?" He nods. I climb into my bed not bothering to change out of my robes that was covered in dry blood. I closed my eyes tightly, listening to sounds of the screams in my head. The sound of their cries and screams tore at my heart. Some parents tried not to believe it, but after I had handed them their loved one's wand they had believed it. Some had even passed out, and some didn't say anything at, and I think that is what hurt the most. They just simply slammed the door in my face like I was the one to blame. I got up and walked out into the kitchen and made a cup of tea. I placed my hand in my hands, the screams still echoing in my ears.

"Zee?" Frank asks. I was out of it that I didn't even hear him walk up. He sits down and pours himself a cup of tea as well. "Can't sleep?"

"I can still hear their screaming." He closed his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." And so we sat there all night, both of us not saying a word, and sometimes someone just being there was enough and no words were needed.

Xx

**-Lily's POV-**

"Congrats Mrs. Potter." Moody says to me as he hands me my certificate. It's been four weeks since Zee and Frank had left and today we graduated from the auror academy and would now become official members of the ministry.

"Thank you, Mad-Eye." He just grins. I watch as James, Sirius, and Alice got their certificates as well, and I wondered whether or not Zee and Frank were getting theirs too. We weren't given any information on them, I asked Dumbledore every time I've seen him but he gave me nothing, no word, he couldn't even tell me if they were alive. But I didn't want to think that way because they had to be alive, they just had to be.

"Lils?" I look towards James and try to smile, which I failed.

"Do you think they lived long enough to get their certificate?" He pales instantly.

"They're alive." Is all he says. And I'm wondering how he knows that, or if he just keeps telling himself that. James has been really beat up about it. Sometime I hear him getting out of the bed late and night and not coming back until early morning. I never ask him where he's going and I don't comment on the fact that I know he leaves. Maybe Sirius (who has been living with us) and him just talk. I don't know. Sirius rarely talks anymore. I think he doesn't feel right if Zee is not with him. I couldn't imagine James leaving me for that long without any word, but there was nothing I could do for Sirius, no matter how hard I tried. Alice was also living with us, not wanting to be in her house alone. I think it scares her being alone. Either way we had enough room and I wasn't going to leave my friends alone, neither was James.

"You all should go out and celebrate!" Moody says. Sirius shrugs. "I know you lot are nervous, but Longbottom and Little Black are excellent duelers, I'm sure they're okay."

"Let's go get Moony and Jade then." Sirius says. Moody pats him on the back. I shake hands with Mr. Riley, the minister, as I pass and walk out the front door taking in a breath of fresh air. We all turn on the spot.

I'm sitting with Jade and Alice in my bedroom while the boys are downstairs. Alice is nervously picking at her lip.

"Let's try and have fun tonight." Jade says smiling at Alice, Alice smiles back.

"Okay, I think I need a little fun." I grin widely. _I think we all do Alice._

The night is going great, we went to a muggle club where we've all been drinking and dancing. I think this night was doing wonders for everyone. Even Sirius livened up and talked more like his old self. We took a seat at the tables after hours of dancing; we were all just sitting there with our drinks. Suddenly James stiffens next to me. I look nervously at his face which was a white as a ghost.

"James? James what is it?" Everyone's attention turns to us, and Sirius pales.

"James?" He asks.

"Dammit James!" Remus yells. He takes in a shaky breath, and holds up the hand with ring that his mother had made for Xeomara and him.

"My ring is burning."

Xx

"Congratulations Mrs. Black and Mr. Longbottom. Welcome to the French Ministry." Gaspard says as he hands me my certificate. We both nod our heads in thanks. We were the only one of the trainees that graduated seeing as they still had another month to go.

"They graduated today as well." He states.

"Yeah, they did."

"Do you think they're okay?" Frank asks nervously.

"I hope so." I say fingering the ring I wore. "I really hope so."

Frank and I had decided to go to a wizarding club that night just to get out of the house. I was dressed in a nice top and skinny jeans, as was Frank. Surprisingly many witches and wizards were here. I guess no one is too scared to party. We danced most of the time just laughing and having a good time, which was different for us. I guess we both decided it was time to get over what we were missing and just focus on good things. Not that was wanted to forget about them but we needed to move on slightly so we could at least try and enjoy being here, even if it was for work. At around 12 a patronus in the shape of a bear appeared next to me, I knew it to be Gaspard's.

"Longbottom and Black report to the ministry there's been an attack." Without a word we turned on the spot and arrived at the ministry. Frank and I sprinted to the auror department as fast as we could, running into people and knocking people over but we didn't care.

"Good you're here." He announces as we enter the room, 12 or so aurors stare at us their faces blank. "Northern Paris. Capture as many death eaters as you can. I want you to kill, do you understand me? A dead death eater is as good as one alive. Stay with your partner. GO!" I grabbed Franks arm and turned on the spot.

The street was in mad chaos. People were screaming and running trying to get away from the black cloaked figures, fires were burning, and I could hear spells being shot.

"Ready?" Frank asked. I nod we pointed our wands and started firing spells in every direction. The sounds of buildings falling down and the smell of burning flesh stayed with me. A little ways down I saw a little boy being tortured. I did was I was told to do. I killed him on the spot. Frank was running forward sending stunners every which way, and I followed closely behind guarding his back.

"Avada Kederva!" Frank shouts as a man who was a half werewolf was biting a little girl. The spell hit him in the chest and he keeled over. I couldn't help but think of Remus in my mind but I knew he was nothing like moony so I shook it off. We spent hours upon hours capturing death eaters and dueling, saving as many people as we could. At about 4 in the morning just when the light started to hit, death eaters started disapparating and the cleanup crew came in.

I slid down a wall breathing heavily and Frank slid down next to me.

"Our first attack." He nods. "This is nothing like in England. We didn't have to kill them." He nods.

"I can't count the number of people I killed." He shakes his head. "I really hate it here."

"I do too Frank. I really do."

Xx

**-Jade's POV-**

We were all back at James' house just waiting, waiting for any sign, any information. We sat in silence all night with the radio on listening to the news; the only thing we knew was that there was an attack in northern Paris. That's all they could tell us.

"It stopped." James suddenly said. I looked towards the clock to see it around four in the morning.

"That's not helpful!" Sirius screams. "She could be dead right? That doesn't mean a damn thing!"

"Sirius, please we're all nervous." Lily says putting a hand on his arm.

"No." He says shaking it off. "No! I just want to know what the hell happened to my wife!"

"We all do Sirius." I say in a small voice. He shakes a little bit but none the less doesn't say anything.

"Maybe they'll say something on the news Pads, just wait." So we waited for another two hours.

"Here we have with us Head Auror Gaspard Franco." The radio person says. I perk up. "Can you tell me about the attack?"

"It was total chaos, bodies everywhere, fires burning, buildings falling down." I swallow thickly.

"How many deaths?"

"16." I pale. 16 deaths?

"It was really tough, but we managed to capture 10 death eaters with the help of two of our newest auror, Frank Longbottom and Xeomara Black who captured five of them by theirselves. I am very glad the English sent them two us, they were a great help."

"So about the..-" I stop listening as James turns off the radio. Lily spills tears from her eyes,

"They're alive." She says. "They're alive."


	46. Hope Is All I Have

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for the reviews.**

Chapter forty six- Hope Is All I Have.

"Hello Mrs. Dechamp." I say upon entering the minister's office with Frank beside me.

"Good morning Mrs. Black, Mr. Longbottom." Frank nods his head in greeting. "The minister will see you in a moment, have a seat." She says waving her hand to gesture towards the chairs.

It's been a month and a half since we left England. Every day is something and some place new. Rarely is there ever a break between the attacks. I don't think I ever saw anything as gruesome as what I saw here. My time spent here in France I'll never forget only for that reason, and I don't think I'll ever come back. This actually is taking a toll on me, a person can only see so many mangled bodies and I've seen enough for a life time. Frank and I have trouble sleeping all the time, so we just sit together in the kitchen drinking tea in complete silence, because like I said before sometime you just don't need words. I haven't heard any word of my family back home and how they're doing and I doubt they've heard word on us, though I did hear we were mentioned on the radio and hopefully they were listening so they know we're okay. Well, okay physically if anything. We've managed to come off okay physically, sure a few broken bones here and there but they can be mended in a heartbeat by healers, there were no everlasting injuries. Voldemort had yet to show himself in France and that just makes me more nervous for my family back home, I mean sure me and Frank are at the worst spot for the war right now but that doesn't mean the war isn't all around. My family are still members of the order, but then again I would feel if James was in trouble and right now my ring has yet to burn, which I'm grateful for.

"Mrs. Black, Mr. Longbottom, the minister will see you now." I nod, my head and follow Frank into the office. After handshakes and greeting, we take the two same seats in front of his desk.

"Well, well, well." He starts off, in a thick accent. "I've been keeping an eye on your work, and it is now that I deeply want to apologize. I did not expect for you two to be, well to be this good." He shake his head. "I owe you my deepest apology that I doubted your ability.

"Quite alright sir." Frank say. I give him a small smile.

"There is another thing, tonight there is going to be a party for the muggle prime minister and also the English Prime minister. That has death eater attack written all over it. I will be there of course, and Gaspard but I told him I'd get him to guards to watch over him tonight. And I chose you two, will you do it?"

"I-I'm honored Minister." I tell him, I exchange a look with Frank and He nods. "We'll do it.

"Okay here's the plan." I lean forward in my seat.

Xx

"Frank stop moving!" I command later that night while trying to transfigure him.

"I don't want you to change my face!" I roll my eyes.

"It will be back with a wave of my wand tonight! So quit moving!" He scowls but none the less stands still. I make Frank's nose a little longer, his lips fuller, his eye brown, his hair a longer and red, also changing his eye brows red, and giving him a red beard. "Alright you're finished, Mr. John Darling." His lips quirk, he walks over to the mirror and lets out a string of curse words. "Watch your mouth dear husband!" That get a laugh out of him, the fact that we have to play husband and wife.

"Yeah, well I look like a ginger!"

"Some of our best friends are gingers, be polite." He rolls his eyes. "I'll just go get ready and I'll be right back to make sure you look decent." I head to my room and pick out a long burgundy dress that fell off my shoulder and tied at my waist, with a slit going up my side. I walked over to the mirror, and make my nose shorter and more button like, my lips a little thinner, my eyes green, and my made my hair blonde that fell to my shoulders pin straight, I also made myself taller, a lot taller as in like 5'8. I stood back and admired my work, I really did look different. I applied makeup more than usual because tonight I'm not Xeomara Black, I'm Mallory Darling. I slip on the dress and the heel that make me closer to 5'11. I walk out into the living room and Frank immediately starts laughing.

"Oh honestly! It's not that funny."

"You don't look anything like yourself." I pull out my wand from where was strapped on my thigh, and mock point it at him.

"Don't make this harder for yourself Mr. Darling." He raises and eye brow.

"Sirius would have loved that." I smack the back of his head.

"Honestly, you're such a man!"

"Good of you to notice." I roll my eyes. "It's February." He announces.

"Yes?"

"Well we only have to be here until April, so that only another two months." I smile.

"It will be drawn out though, what with all those attacks." He nods.

"I can't wait to see Alice again." I nod.

"I can't wait to see everyone."

"Including James?" My heart clenches. "You look pale, I'm sorry I didn't mean to bring him up."

"No, it's okay. It's just hard getting used to the fact that we're not friends. He didn't come to say good bye Frank." Frank pats my hand.

"I'm sure there was a reason." I just shrug.

"Let's get going, yeah?"

Xx

**-Sirius' POV-**

It's been a month and half since they left here, it's been a month in half since I last saw Zee. She missed her birthday here, and Christmas. I hate that she's not near me. Lily is worried about me, I can tell see is. She keeps trying to get me to talk but every time James' ring burns I feel like I just want to die. And it burns often almost every night and makes me wonder how she's feeling. She's only human and seeing things like that every day…It's just that I know her, I know how she thinks and this is probably killing her. I doubt she'll be the same for a while when she comes back. I've been busying myself with order work, more than anyone else has. And well being an auror isn't what I thought it would be, we don't do nearly as much work as the order does. Remus found a job but it's not really anything special just in a shop selling dark detectors in diagon alley, but it's a start.

"Sirius you ready?" I hear James ask. I look up to see him casually leaning on the door frame in the bathroom that connect our rooms since I have been sleeping in Zee's room, looking absolutely nothing like himself, with his short blonde hair, green eyes, button looking nose, thinner lips.

"I guess so."

"Look on the Brightside maybe we'll see Zee tonight." I shake my head.

"I doubt it, even if she was there she wouldn't recognize us and we probably wouldn't recognize her. And who's to say that she was chosen to watch the minister?"

"My sister is good, who else would they choose?" I roll my eyes. "You look different." I snort, _well spotted prongs. _ My hair was to my shoulders, light brown and tied back in a pony tail, my eyes were hazel, and I thinned out my lips, as well as made my nose larger.

"So do you." I state.

"What's mine name again?" He asks me.

"Honestly Prongs, I have no clue how you made it through training. Your name is Danny Far, and mine is Jack Far. We're brother, 3 years apart, I'm oldest…Ring a bell." He shakes his head yes. "Alright good, let's get out of here."

Xx

When we arrive at the party it's already in full swing. We head up to the room we were told to go to. The muggle minister and the French muggle minister were sitting in an office waiting for their guards to join them.

"Yes, I understand." The French Minister, Mr. Franco says.

"But what exactly are these aurors?" Mr. Down asks.

"Well my son is an auror, so I know about them pretty well. They're like muggle cops." I exchange glances with Prongs before we open the door. "He is head of them, they'll keep us safe." I push the door open.

"Good evening Mr. Downs, Mr. Franco."

"Good evening and you two are?"

"Its better you don't know our real names." I state.

"I'm Danny Far." James says sticking out his hand, and exchanging handshakes with the ministers.

"And I'm Jack Far." I say doing the same.

"Very well, and you are here to guard me?" Mr. Downs asks. I grin.

"Yes sir, I'm not sure when-"

"Hello Ministers." Says a voice from the door way. I turn around to look, and see a tall blonde, skinny, with bright green eyes. She was remarkably pretty I noticed but I shook the thought out of my head, Xeomara was more beautiful than that. Beside her was a tall and lanky red head, with a full beard. It's almost like she glides into the room with the man holding her hand.

"And you are?"

"Its better you don't know our real names." She states and I grin. "I'm Mallory Darling." She says extending her hand to the ministers then to us.

"And I'm John Darling." The red head says doing the same.

"Danny Far, and Jack Far." Prongs says introducing us. "Do I know you from somewhere?" James says eyeing the blonde.

"I'm not sure because I feel like I know you…" She says twirling her hair around her fingers in a way that made her look just like someone I know, but I can't for the life of me think of whom.

"Let's get going shall we?" Mr. Down asks. We nod and follow a little ways behind him, as the other two people do the same.

"You don't have an accent." James says to the girl. She immediately lets out a string of French.

"It's covered by a charm I've learned. It's quite useful." She says.

"So are you to really married?" James asks.

"Are you really brothers?" The male shoots back. I bark out a laugh as does Mallory.

"Good point." It get's quiet after that, as we watch the ministers. They're sitting at the head table talking to members of their office. I search the crowd high and low for death eaters, but my mind is elsewhere. I'm in France right now and I'm not even permitted to see Zee or Frank. I asked Dumbledore and I asked Moody. They don't know her where abouts and they told me not to go looking for her, but stay on my case. I shake my head but, it automatically drawn to the blonde girl. She's familiar, so familiar but I just put where I know her from. We were told to interact with the guest and that's exactly what I was doing, but my eyes kept straying the girl from where she was dancing with her husband.

"Danny, I really think I know her." I say to James.

"She does seem awfully familiar, so does the bloke." He looks over to where she's dancing and back to me. "Just stay focused Jack." I nod. "I haven't seen any sign of Zee."

"Yeah me either." A little later I'm dancing with a short red head and James is dancing next to me with a tall black haired girl, when Mallory dances closer to us.

"May I cut in?" She asks the girl politely. The girl nods and backs away.

"They're here." She says once she's in my arms. My head shoots, up and James who was dancing next to me stares at her.

"I know the people. They rarely disguised themselves, and besides they're not exactly hiding it they pulled a wand out of their pockets." I nod and start scanning the room. I count four, wow I guess I would have seen them earlier if I was really focusing.

"Alright I see four, how many are their?"

"Eight all together." I stare at her in wonder. "We may not need back up but I'd feel better if we had some."

"Same here." James says.

"Listen, go back to the dinner table, we'll meet you there." I nod, and we part ways.

"Mate, she's good." He nods,

"Without a doubt."

"Alright listen, I don't know what they're going to do but it's obvious they're here for the ministers." John states.

"John's right, we have to keep an eye. You saw four you said, do you remember what they look like?" I close my eyes and try and remember each individual face.

"Yes." James and I answer at the same time.

"Okay, keep an eye on them. We'll take the other four." She stands up and starts laughing loudly. "It was lovely meeting you two! We'll have to chat later!" I laugh as well.

"The pleasures all mine." We exchange fake good byes and they walk away.

The next hour or so I'm watching them closely, while watching the ministers as well. I catch Mallory's eye from across the room. She winks and turns her head away. I watch as her brow furrows and anger crosses her feature. I follow her gaze and see the death eater holding a wand. Malfoy? She knows Malfoy? She grabs her wand from where it was tied to her thigh and points it at him. A large gasp comes from the crowd. I watch as James pulls out his and magically locks the doors. The ministers look appalled. Suddenly a large fire erupts through the room. I place my wand on my neck and raise my voice. So I can speak over the screaming.

"Everyone remain calm. We will get you out of here." Then I turn my wand on the two death eater's that appeared in front of me, and James and I are dueling. James' guy tries running away and James follows him.

"Dammit!" I say before I stun the death eater, I start running through people trying to find James. I stun another death eater who didn't notice me. That's two, I count mentally hopefully the other's have stunned some. I change my directions and head towards the muggle ministers. Mallory is already there trying to escort them from the room.

"You!" Someone screams. Mallory spins around and starts dueling. The look on her face…" I'm pulled out of my thoughts by another death eater. This one I notice as Snape. The heat from the fire is making everyone cough and I can feel it burning some of my skin. Snape cuts open my cheek and we duel before finally a piece of wood from the fire falls on him and he's knocked out. I run towards Mallory to help her get the ministers and their wives out. We grab their hands and start quickly running them outside were an emergency car was waiting.

"I want to thank you for saving my life." Mr. Franco says as we place him in a car.

"One day, I'll meet you as myself and then you can thank me." Mallory tells him. He nods.

"We need to get back." She states as the cars pull away. She kicks her heels off as she runs. The fire has gotten worse in the building, and the smoke is thick.

"How many did you stun?" She asks as we run.

"3." She sighs in relief.

"John stunned one, and I stunned two. What about Danny do you know?" I shake my head. "There might still be two left then." I nod.

"Everyone!" Mallory says loudly. "I want you all to huddle together. NOW!" Everyone starts moving together in a tight circle. I could see bodies on the floor from where they had fallen from the smoke, and I didn't know whether they were dead or alive.

"We need to- STUPEFY!" I watch as another death eater goes flying against the wall. "Damn Malfoy, he kept avoiding me." She says with a grin. I eye her curiously again.

"What were you saying?"

"We need to find our partners." I nod and we start pushing through peoples looking for them.

I call out "James" at the same time she screams. "Frank."

"What?!" We both say stopping and turning to each other.

"James?" She asks, as I ask "Frank?"

"Sirius?"

"Zee?"

"Oh Merlin." She breathes out, and tears start filling her eyes.

"I knew there was something familiar about you." Without wasting time, she grabs me into a deep kiss that I return back eagerly. I've been waiting for this moment since the second she left me.

"I would love to talk but we need to find them, and get the people out of here." I tell her, she nods then shakes her head.

"No, we need to get the fire out. Everyone needs to stay here so we can modify their memories." I smack a hand to my forehead.

"You're right." We raise our wands to the fire doing as best as we can to put it out. It takes at least twenty minutes. By the time we're done Zee dress is half singed off as is my tux. She's sporting burns on her neck and I can feel my hands burning.

"Aurors Longbottom and Black please report outside!" A voice bellows from on stage.

"That's Gaspard, I have to go." She says looking at me.

"But you haven't seen James he-"

"Don't Sirius just don't." She kisses me long and hard.

"I love you." And then she's running. I watch as she meets up with Frank and grabs his arms, before their sprinting out the door together. I start looking everywhere through the people getting oblivated.

"Prongs!"

"Padfoot?!" I turn around and find James standing there.

"James Mallory, she's Zee!" I blurt out.

"What?"

"The girl blonde hair auror, that was Zee and the red headed male was Frank!" His face pales.

"She was here. They're okay." I nod.

"They're okay."

"Thank Merlin."

"I tried telling her you were sorry but she didn't let me. She thinks you still hate her." He curses.

"We need to get out of here, Jade can fix our burns." James nods.

Xx

Finally after hours of talking to Moody we were allowed to go home. Even Moody was excited when we told him that we saw Zee and Frank. He was even more excited to know that they did a kick arse job. I walk into Prongs house; Lily and Alice immediately attack us with hugs. I pull back from the hugs.

"We saw Zee and Frank!" James and I burst out in unison.

"What?!"

"They were disguised as a married couple. I kept thinking that I knew them from somewhere, but then later on after we got rid of the fire I screamed James which was stupid of me, and she screamed Frank at the same time. Then we figured out who each other were."

"Frank's okay?" Alice asking tears spilling down her face.

"He's okay." Lily stifles a sob, and then eyes James and I, looking over our injuries.

"Should I owl Jade?"

Xx

"Frank it was him!" He stares at me in a mixture of shock and excitement.

"So I was talking to James?" I nod. "I wish I could have known, then he could have told Alice I loved her." I suddenly feel sad for Frank, I mean I got to see Sirius but he still hasn't seen Alice.

"You'll see her soon." He shrugs his shoulders. "Trust me Frank, you'll see her."

Xx

The days went by slowly well actually it's the night that passed slowly. Even the sight of Sirius didn't bring me out of my thoughts. Every night Frank and I still sat there in silence. Pictures of the bodies, and the fire and the sounds of them screaming run through my mind all the time. We finally reached three months. We'd be going home next month and I was looking forward to that more than I ever had in my life. I couldn't wait to get home. I hated it here. Frank hated it here. We were both behind ready to go home. Tonight Frank and I were asked to go out with the other aurors. Out of pure I need to get drunk feeling we decided to take them up on their offer. Which is where I'm at now, dancing in a club with Frank.

"I'm kind of glad to get out of the house." Frank mumbles as we dance.

"Same here." I say nonchalantly

"May I cut in?" A deep voice asks, Frank pales. I turn around to face Gaspard.

"Of course." I say, I kiss Frank's cheek. "I'll be up in a minute." I tell him nodding towards our table on the balcony. Gaspard takes me into his arms and we start to dance. He was handsome, very handsome but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. It wasn't like dancing with Frank or Remus or James or Arthur. It was different. After a few minutes he leans down towards my ear.

"You leave next month." I nod my head.

"I- would you like to go out with me?" I pale and pull back, Sirius' words from three months ago running through my mind.

"I'm sorry, but I have someone back home waiting for me." He looks confused, I reach down and show him my ring that I decided to wear tonight. "My husband." He grimaces.

"Oh I apologize." He says bowing formally, before walking away. Feeling bad about upsetting him I walk back up to Frank.

"He asked me out!" I state the second I sit down. Frank raises an eye brow at my outburst.

"I expected as much. He's had his eye on you since the first day or training." I pout.

"And you didn't tell me?!" He just shrugs and I punch his shoulder. "You're supposed to be looking out for me Frank." I say in mock hurt.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that…" I smile.

"Ready to get out of here?"

"You bet."

Xx

"Frank, do you think I'll ever forget the looks on their faces?" He cocks his head to the side. Tonight is the first time we had ever talked during our late night tea drinking sessions. I figured after 3 and half months we might as well.

"No." He answered truthfully. "Because I know I won't. I won't ever forget anything I saw here. Every time I close my eyes I see it." I swallow thickly.

"Me too." Frank leans back, his head looking at the ceiling that I enchanted.

"Frank?"

"Hmm?" He asks.

"Where do you think people go after they die?" The question makes him snap his head back to mine, we lock eyes. After a few minutes of staring, he sighs.

"Hopefully some place where all your friends are. Some place where you don't have to worry about war or whether or not you got along with a person. Some place where it holds everything you love." Then his eyes harden. "I don't really know to be truthful; I only know what I hope for." I manage a sad smile and stare him dead in the eyes, and say the words I remember saying to another boy outside under the stars in what could have been a different lifetime.

"Hope is all I have."


	47. Life and Death

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thank you all for the reviews! I just wanted to let you know that I'll be going down the shore until Friday so I'll update if there is an internet connection and if not I'll update when I get back!**

**XX**

Chapter forty seven- Life and Death.

"Black, Longbottom!" Gaspard says as we walk into the ministry on the morning of April 1st.

"Yes sir?" I ask politely, I was still a little nervous to talk to him after he asked me out a month or so ago.

"I want your help today."

"With what?" Franks asks, taking my hand. He eyes it but then brings his face back up to ours.

"I want you to duel each other in front of the new trainees today. They have no idea what they're in for." Frank and I look at each other.

"You want us to duel?" He nods.

"Yes."

"I'm in if you're in." Franks says.

"Well I guess I'm doing it as well."

"Excellent. Meet me in the training room in ten!" He says running off.

"Hey Listen up!" Gaspard yells. He then starts talking to them in French explaining what Frank and I were doing here and that they should watch because they are all acting like immature children and such. I greet them of course in French and Frank in English.

"Ready?" I ask taunting Frank.

"The question is, are you?" I just laugh. "Ventusdium!" I scream, he blocks it with a wave of his wand.

"**Adstringo!" He screams I block it and he stumbles back. We start twirling and waving our wands frantically, every once in a while getting hit with a curse or hex nothing to drastic. Finally after about 20 minutes, both of us sweating madly.**

**Frank screams, "Stupefy!" And I see the jet of light coming towards me and it gets passed my guard. It hits me square in the chest and then everything is black.**

"**HEY ZEE!" I hear a voice scream. I sit and rub sweat off my face.**

"**Dammit, you beat me!" I say rubbing the sore spot on my chest, he offers a hand and helps me up.**

"**Of course I beat you!"**

"**No one beats me; James and Sirius have a hard time beating me!"**

"**Then it looks like I'm the first one!" He says laughing I scowl.**

"**Alright, I want to thank you both. My students enjoyed that." Gaspard says. "Shame you two are leaving us." I just shrug my shoulders.**

"**I'll see you both later." We nod and head up to our office. I pull open the door and sit at my desk while Frank sits at his.**

"**Anything?" He asks. I shake my head. "Me either."**

"**Two weeks." I say finally. "Two weeks and then we can go home!"**

"**I'm ready." He states. **

"**Me too, without a doubt." I look at the clock and notice it's only 1.**

"**Uh I'm bored and we have until 9 to leave." He nods his head.**

**The day drags on with absolutely nothing happening. And I don't have a good feeling about it. Something is going to happen tonight, something big. The death eaters were never this quiet. And then it happened at about five, a large alarm sounded.**

"**All Ministry members report to the first floor, I repeat report the first floor!" Frank and I grab our wands in sprint into action, we don't bother with the elevators but run right to the steps and sprint down them as fast as we can. I pull open the door and just stare. More than a hundred cloaked figures are dueling and cursing as many people as they could find. Those cloaked figures being the death eaters. The secretaries and people just passing through are dueling as many as them as they could, most of them dying and being burnt alive. The scent goes up my nose and I cringe. The elevator dings and at least twenty five people run out, and immediately start shooting off curses.**

"**They're trying to infiltrate the ministry." I say in shock.**

"**Zee, don't freeze up. It's time to go."**

"**Frank you're a great friend." He grabs my shoulders.**

"**Are you trying to say good bye?!" I nod.**

"**Look at them, they're killing and torturing everyone. If that keeps happening, how do you except us to live?"**

"**We are not dying." He says each word slowly as if talking to a child. "We are going home to our family and we are going to be okay. Don't you dare try saying good bye again Xeomara Black! I have never known you to freeze up like this in your entire life. They need us."**

"**You're right." I state breathing deeply.**

"**Are you ready?" I feel my eyes flashing dangerously.**

"**Without a doubt." We both emerge from the doorway flinging of curses as fast as we can.**

"**Stay near me!" I order to him.**

"**I will." He yells back. I hear more people joining the fight as well. The fire is burning madly and I can feel my hands burning.**

"**Black!" A voice shouts. I turn my head towards the sound of my name being called. I wave my wand and the mask flies off.**

"**Snape!" I snarl and we begin dueling. I don't know how long we dueled for or what spells we used but by the time he sprinted away from me, my head was cracked open and I was supporting a fat lip. Ignoring the pain I look for Frank and glad to see he's right next to me.**

"**Are you okay?" He asks. I nod. I watch as a death eater approaches Frank from behind.**

"**Frank watch out!" I scream and with stunning speed he whips around and blocks the curse.**

"**Excellent work Longbottom, where is that pretty wife of yours." I recognize the voice of Malfoy.**

"**Where is your slimy one?" I taunt as they begin to duel.**

"**Right here." She suddenly appears in front of me, so close I can see the whites of her eyes.**

"**So you admit you're slimy?" She growls at me and jabs her wand into my neck. I push her back and drawl my wand on her.**

"**I don't think so Malfoy!" I scream and then we're dueling. I take my eyes off of her for a second to check on Frank when I'm thrown back forcefully into a wall. I can feel my eyes rolling as I try to stand up. Someone grabs my arm and steadies me.**

"**Black, are you okay?"**

"**Minister?" I ask opening my eyes. "What are you doing here? You need to get out!"**

"**Absolutely not, these are my workers and my ministry and I shall fight with them!" It was then that I knew that I had worked for the greatest minister to ever live. No other minister would dare to get their hands dirty.**

"**You are without a doubt the bravest and best minister I have ever met." He smiles at me charmingly, before turning around and entering the battle. I shake my head out while Frank tugs on my arm.**

"**You're okay right?" I nod. I force my way through the crowd of people.**

"**Does that hurt Mudblood?" I turn around as I hear a voice scream. A scream I recognized as Mrs. Dechamp. "Crucio!" He shouts and she scream louder. "That's what you get you filthy mudblood!"**

"**Crucio!" I scream at the man. He falls onto the floor with pain, screaming and twitching. "Does that hurt you slimey death eater? You bloody coward!" he continues screaming with pain and I finally release him once he was knocked out. Frank was already helping Mrs. Dechamp up.**

"**Thank you Xeomara, you truly are a remarkable witch." I nod, but in truth I didn't feel remarkable. I felt dirty and wrong.**

"**You little bitch!" A voice screams, a curse hits me on the back and I grunt with pain.**

"**Avada Kedarva!**" Frank yells from beside me, the man falls dead. A loud crackling laughter erupts from beside me. I knew that laugher. I turned towards the sound and see a tall woman with dark and wild hair, her eyes black. It was then that I knew who she was.

"Ah Hello Bella."

XX

**-Sirius' POV-**

"Padfoot!" Remus yells from downstairs. "Jade made breakfast! Get your arse down here!" With a sigh I get up from my bed and pull on some sweat pants. "Padfoot!"

"Bloody hell, I'm coming!" I yell back, as I run down the stairs. I push open the swinging kitchen door and take my seat next to James. Everyone else was already eating.

"Hello James, Lily, Alice, Jade, Remus and Peter!" I say quickly.

I get a mixture, of hey's and hi's back.

"We have a meeting tonight after work Padfoot, don't forget." Lily says to me.

"I know it's at-" I stop then. "What time is it?" Lily rolls her eyes.

"It's at 7, Pads." James says, I grin at him and pile food in my mouth.

"Right thanks."

"That's disgusting! Don't talk with your mouth full!" Alice says from across the table. I salute her and swallow.

"Yes mum."

"Hurry up and eat, everyone. Moody will kill us if we're late." Lily says.

"Relax Lils, we've got time." I say leaning back in my chair.

"Chair down." Alice reminds me.

"Sorry mum." She rolls her eyes.

"Oh just hurry up would you!" I hurriedly shove food in my mouth.

"There I'm done, happy?" I ask sarcastically.

"Yes." Everyone says back.

"Alright I'll meet you all back here for dinner at 5, then we'll go to the meeting?" Jade asks.

"Yup." Alice answers.

"Alright be careful." She adds before walking out the door, her engagement ring glittering off her finger.

"I can't believe I'm actually getting married." Moony says.

"I know, in a month. Are you excited?' Lily asks happily.

"I've waited my whole life for her." I look away.

"See you late mate?" He nods. With a pop we all apparate to the ministry.

"Black, Potters, Little Longbottom you were nearly late!" Everyone glares at me. I just shrug. "Hit the work outs." I roll my eyes. After running two miles with James we switch and hit the pool.

"This feels amazingggg." James says happily.

"Yeah until we have to start doing laps." He grimaces. We do at least eighty laps in the pool, before heading over to lift weights.

"So, They come back in two weeks." James says as he spots me.

"Uh- yeah." I say.

"Are you excited?" I stop and sit up.

"What if things changed?"

"What do you mean?" He asks me curiously.

"I have no clue what she's been through over there but it can't be good. You ring burns every other night. What if this changed her?"

"You love her right?"

"Stupid question." I remark.

"Well than you take the good with the bad. So what if she comes home different. She'll still always be Zee." I nod. And slap his arm.

"Thanks Prongs."

XX

"My ring his burning." James announces as we sit down to dinner. I freeze my fork halfway to my mouth, Alice's glass breaks, Lily drops her fork, Peter spits his water out, Jade drops falls out of her chair and Remus drops his plate. Even after four months of this happening, none of us are used to it, sometime we were a little relieved because it meant she was still alive, and we would have known if Frank had died wouldn't we?

"She'll be okay, she's coming home to me in two weeks. She knows this. She'll be okay." I say out loud. Everyone nods and the rest of dinner is eaten in silence.

"Um how about we leave early?" I saw breaking the silence. Everyone nods gratefully.

"Molly!" I say kissing the very pregnant red head on the cheek. "Aren't those kids ready yet?"

"I sure as hell hope so." She says and then eyes me curiously. "What's wrong?"

"James' ring is burning again." She pales.

"Don't worry Molly it's bad for the babies." She nods her head and swallows thickly.

"Where's the boys?" She waves her hand as she says,

"Around the house somewhere." I grin and head towards the living room.

"Charlie, Bill!" I say loudly. The little boys perk up run up to me.

"Sirius!" They both yell. I grin and ruffle their hair. "When is Zee coming home?"

"Two weeks." They grin.

"So about that prank…" Bill starts I grin and lean forward.

"Padfoot! Get your arse in here the meetings about to start!" Lily yells. I say good bye to the boys and take my seat at the large table next to Lily. She still looks pale but James looks like a ghost.

"Still burning?" She nods.

"It's been two hours." She nods and closes her eyes.

"Hello Everyone and Welcome!" Dumbledore states from the head of the table. "Well you know the drill, Arthur you start." He nods.

"I followed Avery home, and checked everywhere and I couldn't find it. I even went as far as to look inside his house. They must have it hidden somewhere different." Albus nods.

"Three death eaters came into St. Mungo's yesterday. Naturally I had to treat them all but I might have slipped a little truth potion into their drinks. The farthest I got is that they were planning something before I was almost caught." Hestia says.

"Same for me as well, I also heard that they were planning something when I was patrolling hogsmeade the other day. Heard it from Narcissa but Bellatrix shushed her before she could continue." Jade says.

Everyone went and Dumbledore began giving out assignments.

"It stopped." James says. "It stopped." A minute later a loud knock sounds at the door. My eyes widen and Lily grabs my hand.

"State yourself." Albus yells, the man lets out a string of French.

"Albus let him in! It's the head auror at the French Ministry!" I yell. Albus points his wand at the door and it flies open. Everyone gasps at the sight of the man, his robes are torn and half burned off, he has blood dripping from his left arm, his eye is black, and he's holding his leg, large burn marks cover the left side of his face.

"Is Xeomara Black okay? And Frank Longbottom?" I blurt out.

"Boy, I'm sorry but I don't know." He says solemnly. "Albus we need you, the death eaters all of them, at the ministry, they're trying to take it over!" His hand starts shaking. "So many people have died already, we can't handle them alone, please come."

"Of course."

"After tonight, I'm sending Black and Longbottom home, they've been through enough." He says and then with a crack he's gone.

"Everyone listen up." Albus yells. "Everyone stay with your partners, and everyone use any means necessary. Healers, I want you to start getting people out of there as fast as you can." Everyone nods; I'm sitting at the edge of my seat. "GO!"

XX

"Very good Black, you are talented aren't you?" I'm panting heavily, as I let off another curse that he blocks. "Pity you'll be dead tonight." I do my best to glare at the male but the truth is I really don't know what I have left. My hands and face are covered in painful burns that are bleeding madly, my head is still cracked open, my jaw is broken, my stomach was cut open and I could barely stand. The death eater shots another curse at me and the pain of it brings me to my knees.

"Say good bye." He taunts. "Ava-"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" A familiar voice shouts. I sigh in relief as the death eater falls to the ground. Suddenly someone is there blocking my view. _James._

"Don't ever say you don't need me again." He doesn't say it mean; he says it like someone who wants their best friend back. He lifts me up and I cringe in pain but ignore it as tears start falling down my cheeks.

"James." I say as he wraps me in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry. I came but I was too late." I sniffle. "I love you, you have no idea how hard it was to sit there and do nothing as my ring burned every day."

"I love you too!"

"Speaking of," He says pulling back. "Why did it stop?" I look down and notice my ring finger empty. "We'll find it."

"Ava-"

"Avada Kedavra!" Lily shouts. I turn and look at my best friend, her flaming red hair was wiping around her face her green eyes ice cold. She turns towards me and they soften. "Zee." She says in pulls me in for a hug.

"You know, now is not the time for this!" A voice says while shooting off a hex. It was Jade.

"She's right you know." Remus says appearing beside her.

"I don't bloody understand why- Zee." Sirius says.

"Where is Frank?!" Alice yells coming towards our group.

"He's safe, I got him out."

"What?!" James asks.

"I- Stupefy!" I scream and the guy behind him falls to the ground. "I sent him to St. Mungo's. He injured terribly and then I came back here." Alice throws herself at me.

"Thank you!" I nod.

"Alice?"

"What?" She asks me.

"Go home." She smiles widely and with a crack she's gone. "Everyone try and stay together. So much people have died already." With that being said we all turn around and officially return to the battle, killing, stunning, and torturing as many people as many death eaters as possible. The smell of burning bodies makes me almost want to throw up by I swallow it. I couldn't wait for this to be over but there were so many of them.

"Black!" I turn around and freeze when I see Gaspard there, he looked terrible. "Go Home." He orders.

"But-"

"We've gotten things under control; most of them are starting to leave. You've seen enough, I already approved it with the minister."

"He's okay?" Gaspard swallows thickly. I reach forward and hug him feeling tears well up inside my eyes.

"No, he died bravely. Come back for his funeral?" I nod.

"Of course." He pulls back.

"Take your friends and go!" I nod.

"James! Sirius! Lily!" I scream. I start running around stunning them as I run, suddenly I run into Albus, "It's time, round everyone up and get going!" he yells and I nod and start running again.

"Lily!" I say as I spot her. "Help me find everyone, we're leaving." She nods. James and Sirius were together leaning against the wall for support, both of them bleeding and burnt.

"We're leaving." I say and they stand up straighter.

"James!" A voice yells and we turn around to see Remus and Peter running madly.

"We're leaving." I announce.

"I heard, but I can't find Jade."

"Everyone stay here, Remus let's go." He nods and reaches for my hand. We start sprinting through the duelers hexing as many as we could. A loud scream erupts through the yells of curses. The sound made my heart stop and I didn't understand why. I look up and what I see makes Remus and I stop dead in our tracks. Jade was hanging in mid air shaking madly. She was obviously being tortured. Her eyes open and she spots us a few yards away.

"Zee! Remus!" She yells loudly before repeating Remus' name over and over again. We unclasp our hands and start running towards them trying to get a better aim.

"Stupefy!" I scream and it misses. "Dammit!" I yell as I try again and still miss. Moony doing the same. The sound of her yelling Remus' name was the only sound being heard. Just when we got closer the death eater screamed,

"Avada Kedavra!" The curse hitting Jade as she fell onto the ground. My heart stopped.

"AVADA KEDARVA!" Rem yelled hitting the guy scare in the chest. We ran over and the second Remus got there, he fell to his knees and let out one of the worst screams I had ever heard in my life, a complete scream of agony. I fell to my knees beside him as tears pooled out of my eyes. As we kneeled there my arms around Remus shoulder it was like nothing could touch us. All the spells and curses went over our head and I'll never understand why nothing touched us or how we could still be alive after sitting there in silence for so long. It was like we were protected by a shield, but it was one neither of us casted. Finally the sounds of spells in the distance cut off and I could see many people's feet surrounding us. I looked up into the sea of faces and found the four I was looking for. They squeezed their way to the front and Lily upon seeing Jade screamed almost as loud as Remus and fell backwards, James caught her. She put a hand to her mouth and sobbed loudly. James eyes locked with mine and I could feel the sadness pouring off of him as he too started to cry. Sirius dropped to his knees on the other side of Remus and I could tell his shoulders were shaking with sobs. Loud sobs were running through the crowd of people but I didn't care. Most of them didn't even know Jade like we did. Most of them didn't care about Jade like we did.

"Remus, you have to let them move the body." Albus says. I look up and see that his face was wet with tears. Hestia who was trying to control her sobs moved to pick up Jade.

"No." Remus says not yet crying.

"Remus please we have to-"

"No dammit!" He yells.

"Remus, she's gone." I say softly. "Please Remmie, they'll take care of her." He pulls his hands away from Jade's and allows Hestia to take her in her arms and apparate.

"Let's go home." James says. We nod. Sirius stands up, and I do the same pulling Remus with me. I keep a firm hold on his arm and turn on the spot.

"Remmie." I say softly. He pulls away from my grip as four other cracks erupt beside us.

"Is this some sort of sick joke?!" He yells. "Am I never allowed any happiness?! I waited my whole life! My whole dammed life for someone like her! Someone that made me happy! Someone who knew about my faults and loved me anyway! I am werewolf for fucks sake! That must be the reason why. God, or whoever the hell is up there, they don't like creatures like me! It must be my fault she's dead! And after I was finally happy, I finally fucking happy she's gone! She's fucking gone! We were supposed to get married next month! Me! Married!" I grab his arm tightly.

"Remus of course you're allowed to be happy."

"Fuck you Xeomara!" He spat. "Get off of me!" He yells.

"No." He grips my shoulder and I cringe. He starts physically shaking me with each word.

"Don't you see? I'm not made to be happy." I cringe against the pain.

"Remus you're hurting her!" Sirius yells.

"Shut up Sirius." I snarl. I reach up and grab his arms.

"Remus, it's okay. It's okay to be upset." He shakes his head. "Cry." I plead. "Please just cry." The gentleness of my voice finally gets to him and he falls to his knees bringing me with him as he cries. His sobs tear at my heart. I change our position sliding back against the wall and placing his head on my lap, and run my fingers through his hair as he cries.

"I'll stay with him." I say to the others. "Go get fixed you and go to bed." They nod and with a crack they're gone.

"I loved her." He sobs. "She was the only one who I could ever be with." I let tears run down my face at his words.

"Remus, I'm so sorry." He takes in a shaky breath.

"Don't apologize." He manages out.

"Remus you deserve happiness more than anyone I know."

"No I don't." he moans.

"Remmie you do." His shoulders start shaking. "She loved you so much, so much Remus. Some people never have that, ever. You're one of the lucky people to have found it."

"I know." He cries.

"Just get some sleep you're tired okay?" He nods, but his crying doesn't stop, but after awhile there is only silence.

The clock chimes again and it been four chimes since I've heard it which means it's probably about 3. I haven't slept at all, and I really thinking about that question. Is this really some sort of sick joke? Jade was one of the sweetest people anyone could ever meet. She was nice to everyone. I mean everyone. She was such a light hearted person and she made Remus so happy. And now I'm wondering if that was what she was here to do, to be Remus' angel.

"Love?" a voice whispers. I look up to see Sirius in front of me.

"Hey." I whisper back.

"Do you want me to take him upstairs?" I shake my head. "Are you sure?"

"Go to bed, I love you." I say as I absently stroke moony's head.

"Love you too." He says limping back up the stairs.

XX

Light flood the living room and I still haven't slept, thought Remus was still sleeping and I knew for a fact and from experience that this was probably all he would do for a while. Lily and James walk downstairs, Lily's eye's puffy and red as were James.

"You haven't gotten checked out yet, you're a mess." Lily states. I shrug my shoulders.

"Let me take him." I shake my head. "But I-" A soft pop cuts him off.

"Hello." Dumbledore whispers after seeing that Remus was sleeping. "I was coming to announce that there would be a meeting today." I nod, it expected as much it was the same way with every death. "Molly also gave birth to two sons, identical Fred and George." My lower lip trembles and then he adds, "Jade's parents were not yet informed."

"I'll tell them." I say. Everyone looks down at me.

"Maybe that's not a good-"

"You don't know what I've been through James Potter!" I say cutting him off. "None of you would be able to handle telling them. I've done it and I can." He looks unsure. "I want to." James takes a deep breath. I run my hand along my jaw.

"Get cleaned up." I nod and James takes Remus from me carrying him up the stairs. I stand up shakily with a hand from Lily.

"Accio first aid kit!" Albus says and suddenly they're in his hands. I lift up my singed robes as Lily tapes the large gash on my stomach that I would get healed later, while Albus starts wiping the blood of my face, and putting a cooling charm on the burns. I felt a little better physically of course. Albus with another flick of us wand fixed and cleaned my tattered robes.

"This is an interesting first way to meet your bestfriends' parents." I say before turning on the spot. I arrive at the house and knock lightly on the door. It's pulled open by a woman holding a baby of almost a year.

"Mrs. Green?"

"Yes?" I swallow thickly.

"I'm Xeomara Black, Jade's-"

"Best friend, lovely to meet you." I smile sadly.

"I wish we didn't have to meet on these terms. I'm sorry to inform you that last night Jade was killed by a death eater in France." Her hand goes to her mouth and I hurriedly grab the baby before she falls to floor with a loud scream. Her husband comes running. As her mum keeps screaming "My Baby! My Baby!"

"I am so sorry." I say as her dad comes into view. He takes one look at all of us before he starts sobbing. Then even the baby starts wailing. I take in a shaky breath trying to hold back my tears. He helps his wife up and says' to me,

"Come in." I nod and walk inside the homey house and sit into the living room.

"Forgive me." Mrs. Green says wiping the tears from her eyes.

"There is no need."

"How did it-"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"Absolutely." Her father answers.

"Remus and I were trying to find her because we were supposed to be going home. When we found her she was in mid air screaming his name while being tortured with the cruciatus curse. We kept aiming shots at him trying to get her down but we were so far away that we kept missing by the time we got there he had said the two words and she fell and then Remus killed him." Her mum let's out another sob and I rock the crying baby back and forth in my arms. The baby who looked so much like Jade.

"How is Remus?" I lift one hand up and wipe a tear of my face.

"Not good, he really loved her. He said that because he was a werewolf that he wasn't supposed to be happy."

"That's not true! You'll tell him to come visit us won't you?" Her mum says.

"Of course."

"I've heard a lot about you from both of them. You were a great friend to my daughter and she loved you a lot. She loved all of her friends."

"I'm so sorry!" I say crying, but trying hard to contain it. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save her." Her mother and father both crying fully also.

"Don't ever say that! Don't blame yourself. It was just her time. She died the way I knew she would have wanted to, saving lives." My lip started trembling. "She loved doing that most of all."

"She was the sweetest person I have ever known." Her mum gives a watery smile.

"She was." Her father holds out his arms for the baby.

"Will you be making arrangements for the funeral or..?"

"Yes, dear I'll owl you with the details." I nod and wipe my face being careful of my jaw. She stands up and wraps me tightly in a hug.

"Thank you for taking care of my baby, thank Remus for me too. Tell him not to be so hard on himself; he deserves as much happiness as everyone else."

"I will." I say pulling away and walking towards the door.

"Come visit us won't you?" I nod, and turn on the spot. Sirius kisses me as I walk through the door.

"How are you?" I shrug my shoulders.

"Sore, tired, angry, upset." I say. He holds me tightly, I lean into his embrace just standing there never wanting to move.

"An owl came for you, from the French Ministry. It said that a funeral for Devault was being held Saturday." I nod.

"I'll have to owl Frank, he'll probably want to go as well."

"You're going?"

"He was the best minister I had ever seen. I liked him a lot, more than our Minister actually. And besides I have to get my stuff from our flat and turn in my papers and get my transcripts so I can an auror here." He nods.

"You should get some sleep." I nod and walk past him and up the stairs into Remus room. I take out a pair of pajama pants and wife beater and slip it on before climbing into bed next to him. I curl up to him and allow myself to sob. None of knew it now or at the time but around the same time that Jade Green my bestfriend was murdered right before my eyes, Fred and George Weasley took their first breaths of life.


	48. You Don't Know What I've Been Through!

**I own nothing but my OC'S! thanks for the reviews!!!**

Chapter forty eight- You Don't Know What I've Been Through!

"Baby, wake up." Someone said gently in my ear. I take in a deep breath and roll over; my eyes blink open and I see Sirius standing above me.

"Hey." I whisper back my voice thick with sleep. I look carefully to make sure Remus was still sleeping before turning back to Sirius.

"Frank's here." I nod, and rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"You've been in here all day, you missed the meeting but that's okay." It was then that I noticed the redness of his eyes.

"You okay?" He swallows thickly and I can see his eyes filling up.

"I'm fine, come on." He gently lifts me to my feet and drops his hold on my waist and grabs my hand instead. I walk down the stairs sleepily with him next to me. Everyone in the living room was sitting in complete silence, Lily was crying onto James' shoulder while he sat there with a blank expression on his face, Peter kept swallowing as if trying to swallow a lump in throat, Alice was crying into her hands, and Frank had his hand on her back. Frank looked up and met my eyes.

"You're awake." I nod as he stands and pulls me into a tight hug that I never want to let go off. When you go through what Frank and I went through together, you connect, in a way that no one else could understand. And I know it wasn't the best circumstances but we got closer. A few tears leak out onto his shoulder. After what could have been years he pulled back and stared into my face.

"The funeral is Saturday, Gaspard owled me." I nod.

"He owled me too, I promised him before we left that I would go back." I lean in to his ear, "I don't want to go back." He sighs deeply.

"I don't either." He whispers but then says loudly. "I'll go back as well, besides our clothes are still in the flat."

"You're leaving?" Alice asks raising her head. Lily, James, and Peter looked up as well.

"Alice, I need to go back for the funeral and such, besides our papers are there."

"You don't have to go back."

"I do." He says firmly. She turns her head away from him.

"How long will you be gone, you know we have Jade's funeral." Lily says and everyone tenses up.

"I'll be back in time. I'm just worried about leaving Remus." Sirius slides his hand back into mine.

"I'll watch over him while you're gone love." I smile in thanks. After all while off all of us sitting there in silence Lily speaks up.

"The babies were beautiful Zee, you should really go and visit." I smile envisioning two small red haired boys.

"I will." Another moment of silence. "How was the meeting?" I ask tentatively.

"They changed some assignments around." James states monotone. "You, Frank, and Remus will have to go see him to get yours." I nod, James obviously knowing what I was really asking says, "It was sad, actually it was bloody terrible."

"I'm glad I missed it." Franks says. "I would have hated going there." It gets quiet again.

"How was France?" Alice asks searching for a topic. I start panicking, Frank grabs my hand tightly.

"It was France." He finally puts out.

"Yes, I figured as much Frank." Alice says still a little bitter that we were going back.

"Our flat was boring, it actually creeped me out a bit. The whole place was off white, except for the wooden floors. There was nothing on the walls and both bedrooms were empty except for the bed and a desk." I put in.

"Bet it was different from our black bedroom huh?" Sirius asks me.

"Yeah it was…" I trail off.

"Frank I think we should go." I say standing up.

"So soon? But you never told us how France was." Lily says. Frank stands up just as quickly as I did.

"You're right; we should really get going so we can be all packed up and such." He leans down and kisses Alice deeply.

"I'll be back in two days. I love you." I turn to Sirius, who kisses my forehead.

"See you soon?" I close my eyes.

"Of course."

"Hey!" James yells. I turn in his direction. "Come here." I walk over to him as he stands up and pulls me into a bone crushing hug. "You weren't leaving without saying good bye again." I lean my head against his shoulder breathing in his scent which was oddly calming. "I know you've been through a lot. I know you're acting different but don't hide from me okay?" I nod as I step back and grab Frank's hand.

"See you in two days." Franks turns on the spot and with a pop we land back into our flat. I turn towards him and said the only think I could think of,

"Tea?"

XX

"Gaspard." I say as the handsome French man pulls me into a hug. "How are you?" I ask as he pulls away and I can see the thick red rimming around his eyes.

"I've worked with him since I became an auror, he was the one that nominated me. I miss him." He says simply. "Le condamner je le manqué." (dammit I miss him.) he says dropping his head.

"Sorry mate." Frank says patting him on the shoulder.

"They want me to be minister." He blurts out. I raise my head in shock.

"What?"

"The ministry members that survived nominated me to recreate the French Ministry."

"You'll be wonderful." I tell him giving him a small smile. He shakes his head sadly.

"I'm not cut out to do this job, I'm no Devault."

"They asked you to do this because they thought you'd be best for the job." Frank says.

"Yeah but-"

"Take the job." I order. "Take the damn job Gaspard. You're the only one that can do it right. Just take it." He takes a long drawn in breath.

"I'll do it."

"Alright, now let's get them papers." Franks says.

"You just sign here for your release." I nod as he hands me the quill. "Are you sure you both want to leave." I exchange a look with Frank.

"I would love nothing more than to stay and help, really I would but I need to be home. I just lost my bestfriend." He nods.

"If I asked you to stay it would have been for pure selfishness. I know you must love him." I swallow at the choice of conversation.

"I've loved him since I was 11, I just didn't know it yet." He nods. "You're a great man Gaspard, if things were different, maybe but they're not and I'm not right for you." Frank moves uncomfortably in his seat, and coughs loudly. Gaspard shakes his head.

"Right, well here you are." I lean forward and sign my name, before Frank does the same. "Well you're set."

I stand up and give him a small smile. Franks says,

"We'll see you tomorrow."

XX

The funeral was filled with people, I mean all different sorts of people. I even noticed the muggle prime minister, whom I promised I would introduce myself to one day. Gaspard waved us up front with the rest of the surviving ministry which was 38 people out of almost 400 hundred and something.

"I'm glad you came." He says kissing my cheek and shaking hands with Frank.

"He was the one of the greatest ministers I've ever known." He nods.

"Today we are here to celebrate the life of a man, who did what ever he could for his people, a man who was brave, strong and caring. A man who died fighting for what was right. He-" I tune out the rest of the ceremony, only catching bits and pieces of the people who spoke about him. I was holding Frank's hand while in my mind I kept replaying the scene where he helped me up over and over again in my head, the fierce look he had on his face and how sure of himself he was, how he wanted to protect the ministry.

"Zee?" I shake my head of my thoughts and turn to Frank. "It's over." I take in a deep breath and stand up.

"Let's go see the muggle minister." He quirks an eye brow. "I promised him I would introduce myself." He nods.

"Excuse me? Minister?" I say tapping the French man on the shoulder. His wife and him turn around, and stare at me expectantly.

"Who are you? You seem almost familiar." He says his accent thick.

"I'm auror Xeomara Black. You know Mallory Darling." His eyes twinkle, and he takes both of my hands in both of his.

"You saved my own and my wife's life." He says. "How can I ever repay you?"

"It's my job sir, there is no need."

"And would this be Mr. Darling?" He asks motioning to Frank. He takes his hand back and shakes Franks.

"Frank Longbottom sir."

"Pleasure, do you know the other two men?" I smile.

"As a matter of fact, I didn't know it at the time but Jack Farr, was actually my husband Sirius, and Danny was my bestfriend James."

"Thank them for me will you?"

"Yes sir."

"Sad day isn't it? I've met him quite a few times over the years what with all of those attacks." I nod.

"It sure is. He was a brave man."

"Gaspard will do wonderful as minister." He nods. "Sir, we really should be getting back, I need to get home to my family."

"You're very young to have a family, how old are you?"

"I'm nineteen sir, and I meant my friends. I don't have any children." He laughs softly.

"It was lovely meeting you, Maybe I'll see you again in the future."

"If you need some protection request me, I'll help you out." He smiles and kisses both of my cheeks.

"Good Bye Mrs. Black, Mr. Longbottom." We turn away from the minister and I grab Frank's hand and lead him back to Gaspard.

"It's time I get home Gaspard." He nods.

"You'll come back and visit?" I think about home much I hate the place and the bad things that happened here, but then I remember all the good people I've met (most of whom who died.) but the ones that survived, I would miss them and if they ever needed me I'd be back so I told him so.

"We'll come back someday." Frank says. "Or if you need us, you know where we'll be."

"Okay." He leans forward and kisses both of my cheeks and then shakes hands with Frank.

"Good luck." He smiles.

"You too, take care of yourselves okay?" I nod.

"Good bye." We turned around and as we walked away I hoped I would live, and he would live so we could see each other again because someone like Gaspard was someone you weren't likely to forget. I didn't love him, and I obviously didn't like him in that way, the way he liked me, but he was a good man and someone I genuinely liked and wished happiness for.

"Think we'll see him again?" Frank asks as we gather our stuff together.

"I hope so."

XX

We apparated back to James' house where for some reason we were all staying now, I guess it just didn't feel right not being together after we just lost Jade. I heard clattering in the kitchen and nodded to Frank. We set our things on the couch and walked into the kitchen. The entire room was silent, Lily was drinking a cup of coffee slowly with James rubbing reassuring circles on her hand, Alice had her face covered, Peter was staring out the window, Sirius was pushing food around on his plate not eating it, and Remus was simply staring. He had this blank faraway look on his face.

"I'm home." The all stop what they were doing and look up at the door. Alice gets up and runs at Frank throwing her arms around his neck as they start kissing. I sit down between Remus and Sirius. I kiss his lips in greeting and he squeezes my hand.

"Hey Remmie, did you eat today?"

"No." I look him straight in the eye.

"Maybe you should try some toast, how does that sound?" He looks away from me.

"Whatever."

"Okay." I say gently as I get up and make his toast.

"How was it?"

"Terrible." Frank and I answer in unison. Then I add on, the muggle minister wants me to tell you thank you for saving his life and his wife's life." James nods.

"So you got to introduce yourself?" Sirius asks.

"She insisted on it." Frank puts in. I set the plate down in front of Rem.

"Here sweatheart. Eat." He eyes it carefully before picking it up biting off a small piece.

"How's the ministry over there?"

"Not good, there's 38 members that survived." Frank says to Lily.

"They nominated Gaspard Franco for minister." I say.

"The head auror, that came to the meeting?" I turn to James and nod. "Did he take it?"

"Zee convinced him too." Franks says and I raise my eye brow.

"And how did she do that?" Alice asks.

"He apparently has a thing for her, but she politely told him she's been in love since she was 11." Sirius squeezes my hand and kisses my forehead.

"He's a great man; he'll do great as minister. They just need a lot of help over there."

"I'll go." We all turn towards Remus.

"Excuse me?" Sirius asks.

"I'll go to France."

"Maybe that's not such a good idea mate." Frank interjects.

"Shouldn't you stay home with us, your family?" Lily asks him. Remus tenses up.

"I want to go to France."

"Remmie, I don't-"

"I'm owling Dumbledore." He says getting up and walking out of the kitchen.

"He should stay here." I say.

"I agree." Frank says.

"Maybe it's not such a bad idea if he goes, it might maybe get his mind of off some-"

"NO!" Frank and I yell in unison cutting Peter off.

"What is the matter with you two?" Lily asks looking back and forth between us.

"Nothing- I just don't think he should go." I tell them.

"Exactly, it's just not a good idea." Frank adds.

"You can't stop him if he wants to go." Lily says.

"I know, but I can try."

That night I slip out of Sirius' arms after laying there for a few hours listening to the screaming in my head. I creek the door open and tip toe down the stairs and push open the swinging door.

"Zee?" I hear a voice ask. I squint in the darkness, and light my wand. Frank was sitting at the table with a cup of tea in front of him.

"Frank." He conjures a cup and a pot of tea and pours me a glass as I sit down.

"Old habits die hard, huh?"

XX

The next morning all of us dressed in black made our way to the cemetery. I was exhausted from not sleeping the night before; my hands were intertwined with Remus' and Sirius' as we walked. There were rows of seats filled already except right behind the front row where Jade's parents and her baby sister were seated. When her mum spotted us she walked over after handing the baby to her husband.

"Remus." She says hugging him tightly, sobbing onto his shoulder, he drops my hand and wraps his arms around her waist her shoulders shaking. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, how are you?"

"She was my baby, my first baby." She cries. She pulls back and Remus pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and pointer finger. My hand starts to shake in Sirius, who grips it more firmly. "Come, we've saved you seats." We follow Mrs. Green to the row behind her and sit down.

"Hello Xeomara."

"Mrs. Green, Mr. Green." I say greeting them with a kiss on the cheek. I take Remus' hand now that we're sitting down.

"Today we are here to celebrate the life of Jade Green-" The minister starts. The sound of sobbing echoes through the room, the large of it coming from Alice, Mrs. Green, Lily and Hestia. One by one each person stands up and talks about Jane, finally Lily stands up shakily.

"I'm not just saying this because people normally do at funeral but I mean this. I mean every word I'm about to say. Jade was an angel. I believe she was sent to earth by whom ever to save lives. And she's saved many, including Remus. Remus was someone that was always down on himself always unsure, but she changed him. She made him see the good in things and taught him what it was like to be loved. She was nice to everyone, always worrying about other people. A great cook as well. Made me breakfast every morning when we lived together." A few people laugh at this including me. "She was one of the best friends I've ever had and I'll always remember her. She's not someone you could easily forget. You raised a wonderful daughter Mrs. And Mr. Green." Lily finishes and walks over to the coffin were Jade layed. Lily pressed a finger to her lips and then pressed it to Jade's forehead. She whispered something I couldn't hear and walked back to where we were seated crying, hugging Mrs. Green as she went. She collapsed in James arms, burying her head in his neck. I look up at the sky blinking the tears back from my eyes. I heard sniffling next to me and at first I thought it was Remus but after confirming that it wasn't I turned my head and realized it was Sirius.

"Love, are you okay?" I whisper, while his head was bent and tears were running thickly down his face.

"I-I'm fine." He say taking his hand from mine trying to wipe the tears off of his face. I just take his hand back and pull him towards me laying his head on my chest, and finally let tears fall down myself.

I listen carefully as the minister says the ceremonial words and the casket lowers itself in the ground. I didn't watch this part as the Potter's were buried but I watched it now. After what I saw in France, nothing could compare to what that, even watching your best friend, someone who you thought as a sister get buried, even as your friends and husband cries next to you, the sobbing ringing in your ears, but maybe Remus was right maybe everything was just one big joke. No one would ever know if it was and if everyone just put on the earth for a reason but one thing I know is that the people who died the 300 and some people that died, they didn't deserve it, and neither did Jade.

XX

**-Sirius' POV-**

It's been three days since the funeral and three days since Remus and Peter left for France. Zee had a fit when he left, she screamed and threw things at him, begging him not to go, it was like watching James and Zee again because Zee did not say good bye to Moony and neither did Frank who did just as much yelling as Zee. They were different. Zee left an arrogant easy going person and came back up tight and stiff as did Frank. Alice came and talked to me about it today, and she had noticed it too, everyone had. But right now, I was too caught up with my own problems to question her about it. I knew that made me seem like a bad person but I couldn't help it. I had gotten so close to Jade, it would now be like losing Lily. Jade was someone who I spent a lot of my time with, she was my patrolling partner, we talked about endless things. I couldn't even watch her get placed into the ground. I roll over and it was then that I noticed Zee missing, and this wasn't the first time, she had gotten up every night and left the room. I slip out of bed and walk into the hall way. I walk forward about to walk down the steps when something small collides into me.

"Ow." The voice whispers rubbing her shoulder.

"Alice?"

"Sirius?"

"What are you doing?" we ask together.

"Looking for Frank." She says, as I say "Looking for Zee."

"Frank's been leaving his room every night." She explains.

"Zee too." She shrugs her shoulders as we make our way down stairs. I'm about to walk into the kitchen when the sound of voices make us stop.

"I still here them screaming." Frank says.

"Do you think it will ever stop?" She asks him. I exchange a look with Alice.

"I don't know Zee."

"I can smell them burning, I can see the mangled bodies." She cries. "I want them to stop."

"I do too."

This happened this every night for the next week. James said he's talked to her a little bit but it was mostly about her worry for me, and that she kept avoiding the subject of France not today because today James and I were going to get it out of her.

"Sirius, maybe we shouldn't. She seems really bad off right now." James says as we walk up the stairs to where Zee was sleeping. I shake it off.

"Zee? Wake up!" She starts stirring and sits up wiping the sleep out of her eyes, by this time I was mad. "What is wrong with you?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Every since you've been back you've been acting different."

"You can talk to us Maurie." James tells her.

"I've been acting different?" she asks again her eyes flashing dangerously.

"You and Frank both have."

"You don't know what I've been through!" She yells loudly ripping the blankets off furiously and standing up. "You don't even have a clue!"

"I don't? Well than tell me! Tell me dammit, why you've been acting different. Why you get up every night and sit in silence in the kitchen with Frank." She shakes her head. "Talk to me dammit!"

"Do you have any idea what it's like to walk up to an attack sight and smell and see bodies burning? To see mangled bodies, that are crammed and shoved into small spaces? To see blood running down the street like a river? To hear the sounds of people getting tortured and screaming. Did you ever have to tell the mums, the daughters, and the wives that they're loved ones have been murdered and hear them scream until they fall on the ground? Or see the fathers, the sons, and the husbands fall to their knees and sob as you hand them their loved ones wand? Sometimes they didn't even get a wand; they got a slip of paper. Do you know what it was? A paper stating the room number they could go find their loved ones body at in St. Mungos. Did you have to live every day thinking you were going to die? And not be able to tell the ones you loved back home that you loved them? That was what it was like every day for me, for Frank." She finishes bitterly. I'm completely shell shocked. I couldn't say a word. "So don't you dare come and tell me that I'm acting different!" She says running out of the room with tears covering her face. I can hear her in James' bedroom crying and hear Lily trying to calm her down. I'm sure the whole house heard what happened. I looked at James faces to see that he went completely stark white.

"I can't even fathom-" He starts. "I can't even-" He cuts off and sits down on the bed, I sit down next to him.

"So Zee cracked?" Frank asks from where he was leaning against the door with his arms crossed angrily over his chest.

"Yeah." I says.

"You should have waited Sirius. It was hard for her, it was hard for me. I found her like that in the kitchen, the first month in, completely silent drinking tea. It was the first night after she had to tell the families, we've been doing it ever since." I close my eyes. "Go talk to her." He orders, as Alice comes up behind him and slides her hand up his back. "Go!" James and I exchange looks before getting up and walking into the other room. Zee's head was buried in Lily's neck sobbing loudly. She's been through so much, she needs this.

"Zee, sweetheart, it's okay." Lily keeps whispering over and over again. Lily spots us in the door way and sighs in relief. "Oh thank merlin." James walks right over to her and takes her from Lily's arm. Lily in turn comes over and stands next to me, wrapping her arm around me. "She's had a tough time. Let's give her some time with James, it usually calms her down." I nod as we leave the room. We sit on the bed in Zee's room, well are room, in silence. Twenty minutes later, James walks in with a calm Zee in his arms. I immediately stand up and start walking towards hers. I couldn't help but think how adorable see was with her red rimmed eyes and puffy eyes, and the traces of tears on her cheeks.

"Are you okay?" I ask her as she falls into my embrace; she doesn't answer but buries her head deep into my chest and squeezing me tightly. I close my eyes and lean my head down and rest it on top of hers. When we pull back and I open my eyes I realized James and Lily had left us. Zee's lower lip starts to tremble.

"I need you." She tells me. She reaches her hands up and puts them around my neck pulling me down for a kiss. I lean forward as she leans back as my arms wrap around her waist pulling her closer to me. I couldn't help but think that I needed this too. I need to kiss her to have her close to me. I pick her up without breaking the kiss and she wraps her legs around my waist sucking furiously at my bottom lip. I walk us backwards and turn around throwing her on the bed coming down on top of her. Her mouth breaks from mine.

"It's been four months." She says on a laugh, and I realize that the ice broke and that this was the Zee I loved, but I still can't help but correct her,

"Four months too long you mean."


	49. Meeting Fred and George

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for the reviews!**

Chapter forty nine- Meeting Fred and George.

**-Xeomara's POV-**

I finally felt like I was getting back on track, sure it had only been a week since the attack, a week since I lost my best friend, and a week since I've been home but I felt more like the old me. Sirius on the other hand was taking Jade's dead badly, sometimes I feel like he couldn't even talk to me. He spent most of his time talking to James, and sometimes even Lily but she barely could get anything out of him. I've yet to hear from Remus and I'm not all that surprised he's probably busy up to his ankles in work. He's going to hate it there, I know he is. Frank and I tried stopping him; I wish I would have tried harder, because now he won't ever be the same. None of us have been back to work yet and we've still be living at James' and Lily's, and trust me; none of us were ready to go yet. Lily was taking the death badly as well; James had to force her up every morning. James was hiding something from me; I wasn't sure what it was yet but every time I tried to read him he blocked it off.

I blink my eyes open and reach for Sirius but find that he wasn't next to me. I frown and look at the time realizing it was a little past 1. I still couldn't get used to sleeping at night, so Frank and I's night time teas were still going on. I sit up and walk down stairs still in my pajamas. Frank was lounged out on the couch, sleeping. I wall past him rolling my eyes and push the swinging door and walk into the kitchen. Lily and James were seated at the table eating lunch, and Alice was making something.

"Finally up?" Alice asks handing me a cup of coffee. I smile in thanks and sit down.

"You really should start sleeping at night." Jimmy tells me with a firm glance.

"Yeah… about that-" I look around and notice I haven't seen Sirius. "Where's Sirius?" Lily bites her lip and looks down. "Where is he?"

"France."

"Excuse me?" Clearly I must have misheard.

"He's in France." Lily repeats. My heart sinks and I start breathing heavily.

"Why?" I ask, feeling my blood boiling. "What the hell is my husband doing in France?" They all exchanged glances. "ANSWER ME!"

"He-"

"Xeomara are you okay?" Frank asks bursting through the door.

"Sirius is in France."

"What?"

"Lily told me Sirius is in France and I don't know why." I tell him. He places his hands comfortingly on my shoulders.

"He said he needed to work a few things out." James answers.

"Work a few things out.." I say in an off handed tone.

"Yes."

"And is he just staying for the night visiting Remus and Peter-"

"He was hired as an auror for the French Ministry." Lily cuts in. My eyes widen. "He took the job, Zee, I'm so sorry."

"He took the job." I say angrily.

"Look Maurie, Jade's death hit him pretty hard. They were really close and I think he needs some time away from here. He's been thinking about it since Remus and Peter took the job, and then I'm guessing he decided last night and well he was packed this morning and then he left."

"He didn't say good bye. I didn't even- Wait." I say realizing something. "You knew?" James bites his lip. "Of course, it makes sense. That's what you've been hiding all week."

"I wanted to tell you Maurie it's just that-"

"You said he has things he needs to deal with, do those things include me?" I interrupt.

"Of course not!" James says but for some reason I'm just not too sure. I stand up angrily pushing Frank's hands off my shoulders, take of the ring Sirius gave me and slam it down on the table.

"I'm leaving." Ignoring the protests, I turn on the spot and apparate to the one place outside of James' that I felt comfortable.

I walk up to the burrow, and knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"Molly it's me." I say my voice thick. Immediately the door is pulled open, and Molly grabs my arm and pulls me in. She sits me down at the large table and puts a cup of tea in front of me.

"What's happened?" I wipe a hand across my face as more tears slide down.

"Sirius left." She looks startled.

"What?"

"He went to France this morning, after being hired over there for auror. He didn't even say good bye! He didn't even tell me he was considering it!" She reaches across the table and grabs my hand. "I don't know what I did wrong! I just came back and he leaves!"

"Honey, you didn't do anything. From what I heard he was real shaken up about Jade. He probably just needed some time away." I shake my head.

"I just can't-"

"Xeomara?" I turn towards the sound of Arthur's and allow him to pull me into a hug. "What's the matter?" He asks joining us at the table.

"Sirius got a job in France and he took it without telling me, he even left without saying good bye." He frowns.

"He'll come back."

"Zee!" I smile through my tears as two small bodies launch themselves at me.

"Charlie, Bill!" I say hugging them and ruffling their red hair. "How's my two favorite boys?"

"Tired." Bill says frowning.

"And why's that?" I ask rubbing the tears off my cheeks, looking into their bright blue eyes.

"The babies won't stop crying!" Charlie complains. I smile widely.

"Are they sleeping?" I ask Molly.

"Yes, but would you like to see them? I nod quickly and hurriedly follow Molly up the stairs and into the bedroom on the right. There was a large wooden crib in the middle, I walked over to it and looked down at the tiny red haired babies sleeping on their stomachs. I marvel over the little sounds of breathing and how tiny they were.

"Oh Molly!" I say happily. "They're beautiful." She picks up one of the boys carefully and gestures towards me.

"Would you like to hold him?"

"I don't know Molly, I've never really held a kid and well-"

"None sense, you'll be fine. Meet George." She says handing me the baby. He feels like and soft in my arms and immediately curls up to me. He starts squirming a bit.

"He's moving." I say amazed, brushing his forehead softly. He blinks open his little chocolate brown eyes, and squeezes my finger with his little hand. I look up at Molly with adoration written all over my face.

"Perfect isn't he?"

"He's really is beautiful." I say looking back down and kissing his forehead. "I've never held a baby before; actually I've never even known anyone who's had a baby." She smiles.

"Would you like to meet Fred?" I nod, and Molly replaces the baby in my arms with the baby who was lying in the crib. When she handed me Fred he was already awake staring at me with those big brown eyes.

"Hello Fred, I'm Xeomara." I say softly. "I'm going to teach you the ropes kid, just you wait. You and Georgie, will be playing pranks in no time." Molly chuckles and rolls her eyes from where she was rocking George gently. "This is really amazing." I remark never wanting to let him go.

"Did you not want kids?" Molly asks curiously.

"Well, I mean I've thought about it and I did want kids, but I've just never really wanted a baby more than I've wanted one now. It really wasn't on my top priority list." She nods.

"We can take them down stairs if you'd like." The rest of the day I spent playing with the boys, it was really relaxing and kept my mind off of things. At about 5, I laid down on the couch while Molly started making dinner. I had George securely in one arm and Fred in the other, Charlie and Bill were on the floor already asleep. I listened carefully to the little sounds that the babies made until I drifted off to sleep.

**-James' POV-**

"She's been gone for three hours!" I say pacing throughout the living room.

"James, she needed to cool off I'm sure she's fine." Alice says from where Lily, Frank, and her were sitting on the couch.

"She could be hurt, I mean she was really upset what if she did something really stupid?" Lily rolls her eyes.

"Exactly James, she was upset. Her husband left her James." I frown and bite my lip.

"He didn't leave her." My eyes met hers and the green eyes that I loved so much pierced mine.

"He did and you know it."

"Why?" Franks asks angrily. "Why did he leave her? What did he tell you James?"

"He said that he needed to get away, that he couldn't handle anything right now."

"So he left her?"

"I think-" Lily starts. "I think he was trying to distance himself from her because he's scared he'll lose her too."

"That's stupid!" Alice explodes. "That's so bloody stupid! The next time I see him I'm going to hex him into oblivion.

"Not if I don't get to him first." Frank mutters. I smile at how protective Frank had gotten of Maurie.

"Is he staying with Peter and Remus?" I nod my head.

"They bought them a bigger flat." Lily nods her head.

"I think I'm gonna go look for her." I tell them.

"James maybe you shouldn't-"

"Lily, I know my sister."

"Yes, James I know but still-"

"Lily I'm going." With a crack I apparate to Hogwarts. She always liked visiting Dumbledore maybe she went there. I walk up the familiar staircase to the headmasters office and knock politely on the door, not caring that he could be with a student.

"Enter." I walk in and close the door behind me. Dumbledore raised his eye brows.

"James?" I give a faint smile.

"Has Zee been here?"

"I haven't seen Xeomara since the funeral, what happened?"

"Well, Sirius left this morning."

"And he didn't say good bye?" Albus guesses. I nod.

"He didn't even tell her."

"She must have been very upset about this. The love of her life leaving her." I nod.

"She's been gone for almost four hours now, and well I- you know how I get." He smiles.

"How could I forget, you get nervous if she's out of your sight for a few minutes." I smile sheepishly.

"Well I guess I should be going." I start turning towards the door.

"James, there is a spot on the right corner of my office where you can apparate." I smile in thanks.

"See you Monday." He nods as I turn on the spot and arrive at godric's hallow. I scan the cemetery hoping to see her along the people visiting their families. I walk through the kissing gates and to my parent's grave. I was sure she'd be here. I stare at the engravings on the headstone.

"Hi mum, hi dad." I say sadly. "Things have been really messed up lately. Everything is out of control." I knew I wasn't going to get an answer back, I shrugged and walked on. When I realized she wasn't at Regulus' grave or Jade's I apparated the Molly's remembering that she always found comfort in the burrow. I walk up to brilliant house and knock on the door.

"Who is it?"

"Hi Molly, it's James." The door's pulled open and Molly ushers me inside. I hug her tightly and kiss her cheek in greeting.

"Hello James! It's good to see you."

"You as well."

"I suspect you're looking for Zee?" I nod eagerly. "Come on." She says and turns to walk towards the living room. "When I left she was playing with the-" She stops dead and I step into the room beside her. Molly has a fond smile on her face. I turn towards the couch and see Zee sleeping peacefully with the twins wrapped tightly in her arms, Bill and Charlie, were on the floor right beside the couch. I smile at the sight, as Molly and I walk back into the kitchen.

"Well she was playing with them." She says with a smile, then frowns. "She's really upset James."

"I know Molly-"

"She came over here crying her eyes out." Molly shakes her head. "He should never have left her."

"Of course he shouldn't have." We both whip our heads around to see a sleepy looking Zee with both of the babies in her arms. I immediately jump up and take one out of her arms and holding it tightly to my chest smiling as I do.

"Say Hi to Fred James." She tells me.

"Hello Fred, I'm James." I say as he plays with my fingers. "They're- it's amazing!"

"Now you sound just like Zee." Molly says fondly setting the table for dinner.

"Molly I'm-" Arthur says walking in and then stops when he see's us. "Hello James! Feeling better Xeomara?" She shrugs her shoulders and leans down to kiss George's head.

"Are you ready to go home?" I ask looking at her. She nods and Molly takes the baby off her hands while Arthur takes Fred.

"Thank you so much Molly, tell the boys I said good bye. I'll come back soon." She says leaning forward to kiss her cheek.

"You better, come anytime you need me." She smiles and kisses Arthur good bye.

"I'll see you Monday."

"Good bye!" They call as we walk out the door. I take her hand so I know she's coming home with me and turn on the spot.

We arrive with a pop in our living room. Lily, Alice, and Frank had not moved from the spot.

"Where were you?" Lily snaps looking at Zee.

"Molly's?" She says as if it were a question.

"You left four hours ago without word of where you were going!"

"Sorry." Maurie mumbles. Lily's face softens and she pulls Zee into a hug.

"No I'm sorry, I'm just stressed out."

"It's fine Lils, why don't you get some sleep you look tired." She nods and kisses me long and hard before returning upstairs.

"I'm going back to work tomorrow." Zee announces.

"I think I am as well." Frank adds. Alice bites her lip.

"I don't know if I'm ready." Frank pats her hand.

"It's okay, Alice." She smiles tearfully and leans her head on his shoulder.

"Who's going to be your partner James?" Frank asks, Maurie tenses.

"Moody."

"You're working with Moody?" I nod.

"Wow." Maurie comments.

"I know." It gets quiet again as we all just sit there, Maurie squirms uncomfortably.

"I think I'll go make some dinner."

**-Xeomara's POV-**

I arrive at the ministry and to the auror's offices by 8 the next morning.

"Little Black!" Moody comments as I walk in. "I didn't know you were coming in today." I give him a small smile and sit down at my desk.

"Yeah, Frank should be coming in soon as well. I needed to get my mind off of things, and what better way to do that then capture some death eaters?"

"Very true, what about Potter, Little Potter, and Little Longbottom?"

"I'm not sure about James, but Lily and Alice? They're still really upset."

"Understandable." He starts looking through papers and hands me two files. "While you've been, these particular death eater's have been doing a lot of damage. We want to capture them. I've been looking for this one," He says gesturing towards the first file. "for four months." I open the first file and see the name Igor Karkaroff. There was a long list of people he's killed in the last month and half muggles and muggle-borns alike. I read down the list and stop at the one name.

"He's killed Barty's brother?" I ask in surprise.

"That's what got him essentially on the most wanted list." I nod my head and grab the other file. Amycus and Alecto Carrow.

"The Carrow's?" He nods. I start reading the long list of crimes they committed. "These people make me sick."

"Little Black?" I look up and stair into Moody's eyes.

"Yes?" I say a little put off.

"Nevermind." I glance at him nervously but let it go.

"Are there any leads?" I say pointing to the files.

"Karkaroff was said to last be seen in Stoatshead Hill, and the Carrow's? They were last seen in France after the ministry almost fell." I nod.

"We should get started." I say standing up.

"Today?" I nod my head.

"I guess we could." He says eyeing my curiously. I turn around and walk towards the back door and into a large room filled with supplies we could need. I grab three invisibility cloaks, poly juice potion, bag filled with hair, extra wands, a tent, and three knives. When I walk back to the office's Frank was there talking to Moody.

"Hey partner." I say to Frank as I enter, handing out the knives, the extra wands, and the cloak. I grab my knife and stick it in the back of my pants and cover it with my shirt, before packing a bag filled with the supplies and put a shrinking charm on it shoving it in my front pocket.

"Moody filled me in." Frank says as we walk through the ministry and towards the elevator, I push the button and we start sliding down.

"Who are we going for first?" I ask Moody quietly.

"Let's start with Karkaroff first and then once the other three get back to work we can split up." I nod my head. We exit the elevator and head towards the front doors and walking out.

"Stoatshead Hill, where have I heard that before?" I stop and think carefully and then it hits me.

"It's right near Molly's house!" I say in a panic.

"I'm sure they're fine Little Black. Let's go." I exchange looks with both of them and turn on the spot. I arrive on top of a little hill, with Moody and Frank next to me.

"Moody!" I stare at the figure out of breath that was running at full speed.

"Diggery?" I say in shock. I haven't seen him since we graduated. He came at a full stop in front of us with blood caked on the left side of his face.

"What happened?" Moody barks.

"The man, the one they've been looking for. He attacked out house, my wife, my son!" He pants out.

"Who?!" I ask sharply.

"Long black hair, goatee., gangly looking bad teeth sounded like a Bulgarian accent."

"Karkaroff." Frank snarls.

"Are they okay?" I ask, he nods. "Take them and yourself to St. Mungos, ask for Hestia, she'll heal you up.

"Which way did he go?" Moody questions.

"Straight through that forest, I was chasing him but someone, another death eater got in front of me." Moody turns around at the new information.

"Who?"

"I didn't see his face but he apparated after Karkaroff got away!" I nod my head.

"We have to go, be careful." Frank, Moody, and I start sprinting through the forest at top speed. We casted charms looking for human presence.

"Maybe we should split up?" I ask, after we've been running for twenty minutes without nothing.

"I'm not sure."

"Look, we've been pretty loud and there is one of him and three of us, I'm sure he's heard us. We need to be more discreet." Moody thinks it over for a second before nodding.

"Cloaks on, I want you to scream loudly if you see him. I'll go continue north, Black go west, Longbottom go east."

"Be careful." Frank says squeezing my hand. Without answering I slip the cloak on and start sprinting the opposite way. I start getting lost in the forest running every which way. I stop after an about 3 hours of looking breathing heavily when I see a flicker of movement out of the corner of my eye.

"On the right!" I hear Moody scream. I turn to my right and point my wand at the tree.

"Reducto!" The tree blows apart revealing Karkaroff, getting up from where the blow had him falling back.

"Igor Karkaroff, you are under arrest." I state pointing my wand at him.

"I Haff no intention of being taken!" He yells shooting a curse at me, I fly back into the tree spitting hair out of my mouth.

"Black hurry!" Moody yells from in front of me, and I see him chasing Karkaroff, suddenly Frank is there beside me helping me up.

"Come on." I grab his hand and we start running after them, shooting curses as quickly as we could. I watch as Karkaroff turns around brandishing is wand and twirling it quickly, suddenly a fire erupts through the trees, separating us from him.

"We lost him." Moody says as approach him.

"That slippery bastard." I say with a glare. We take out our wands and extinguish the fire with our wands.

"Let's head back." Moody tells us after we clear the fire.

"Right the dammed report." He says as we walk in the office cleaning the ash off our robes. I nod my head and join Frank as we sit down and start writing a detailed report on what happened.

"Mad-Eye?" I call out after I finish.

"What Little Black?"

"Did you get the report on the attack of Diggery's home?" I watch as he rubs a hand across his face.

"Yes, you two might as well head home. We'll get a fresh start tomorrow; I'll let you know if anything happens." I nod my head, as I place the things back in the room and exit the office with Frank. He glances at his watch.

"Long day." He comments.

"What time is it?" I ask rubbing my temples as we step off the elevator.

"Around eight." I let out a low whistle.

"Damn."

About three minutes later we're walking through the front door of James' house. Only James was sitting in the living room.

"Where are Lily and Alice?" James looks up.

"Sleeping." I nod my head.

"Long day?"

"We've been chasing Karkaroff through the forest."

"Still haven't caught him yet?" James says shaking his head.

"No, the damn bastard is too quick." I comment. "And I had him too- Uh!" Frank pats my shoulder.

"Don't beat yourself up. We'll get him."

"What happened?" James asks as we sit down.

"Well we split up after awhile and I guess Moody saw him because he was screaming at me to follow him and he entered where Zee was. Moody called out that he was on the right and she blew up the tree he was sitting behind causing him to fly backwards. She had him and getting ready to tie him up when he shot a hex that made her slam into a tree. I helped her up and we chased after him but he set the ground on fire separating us, and he got away." Frank finishes.

"Damn." I rub the bump on my head. "You can't get everyone Zee." He says with a shrug. I scowl at him.

"You up for work tomorrow?" Franks asks him.

"Yeah, I think it's time. You looking for him tomorrow?"

"Every day until we catch him." I reply. James barks out a laugh.

"Alright well-" He stops when we hear a tap on our window.

"James that's Moony's owl!" I say excitedly. He walks over and lets it, then joining us on the couch again.

"It's addressed to all of us." James says as he opens the letter. "It says:

_Prongs, Stripes, Lily, Frank, and Alice,_

_I just wanted to write the let you know Peter and I are okay. We've had a pretty hectic week trying to reform the ministry. I'm working over here in the department of law enforcement, along with Peter. It's only been about a week but nothing much but a few minor attacks have happened. It seems that many of the death eaters started heading home. We ran into the Carrow's last night, and I remember that they were on the wanted list right now, so I thought I'd let you know. Padfoot arrived this morning he seemed a little down. He doesn't know I'm writing this obviously because I'm sure he'd probably hit me but he cried all morning, I mean all morning. He told me that he didn't say good bye to you Zee and I'm sorry he didn't. It was foolish and stupid of him but I think he's just got a lot going on right now. And I'm sorry too Zee, I just needed to get away. I knew something bad most have happened to you here and that you wanted to protect me but I need to be here. I don't want to argue with you because well, if something bad happened and the last thing we did was argue….well that wouldn't be good. James, Frank, be the man of the house and make sure you watch after Lily and Zee. I'll murder you if you don't. I know you're probably wondering how I'm doing, since my fiancé just died a week ago. I'm going to be honest; I've been keeping myself busy. Wormtail says I've been keeping myself too busy but I need some sort of distraction. Maybe I'll try and come home one weekend soon or you all could come visit me here. Gaspard has been really nice about the werewolf situation saying any friend of Xeomara couldn't be bad. I guess he really does have a thing for you. To be honest some sick part of me wants Padfoot to meet him really bad, I think it will be amusing. I'm really sorry I left all of you. I miss you all a lot. I want you all to be careful and do your best to stay as safe as possible. I'll owl you when we can meet up, it may not be for awhile though. I love you all._

_Love always,_

_Remus._

_p.s. Wormy noticed I was writing this and told me to send his love."_

"Moony with his long was letters." I say as James finishes.

"Well at least their okay so far, maybe the worst is gone over there." Frank says hopefully. We sit quietly for a minute.

"Okay tell me the truth, what are me and Sirius right now? Are we still together or are we broken up?" James and Frank exchange nervous glances.

"I'm sure he just needed to get away." Frank says nervously.

"Yes, but how am I going to know!" I say putting my head in my hands.

"If he writes to you, you'll know." James says simply.


	50. Moony Comes Home

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for the reviews!**

Chapter fifty- Moony Comes Home.

Sirius didn't owl me. I waited to the first cheek, and nothing came, then the second week and I got nothing. Then the weeks turned into a month and that month turned it to two and I still got nothing. I stopped waiting. Sirius and I are just not longer together, because apparently he wrote to James. I can't deny the fact that I'm hurt because everyone knows I am. I just try not to show it much, mostly by working all the time. I've started taken double shifts, like Moody does so I've been working with him a lot like when the rest of the auror's leave the office. This June is hotter than I can remember, or maybe it's just because I've been running through the forest day and night trying to look for this damn Karkaroff. I'm not stopping til we find him. Lily, Alice, and James came back to work around a week or so after I did and they started looking for the Carrow's which brought them to France for the day, but they told me they didn't see Moony or Wormtail. Moony has written to me though, and France has gotten quite a bit better since Frank and I went there. There isn't as much attacks and they're not a big as before now the war is kind of just spread equally through England and France. Though the only thing I'm waiting for now, is to catch voldemort and his damn death eaters. I'm ready for this to be over.

"When the hell are we going to catch him?" Frank says angrily as he walks in and sits at his desk next to mine. I tosh him the knife I had gotten out for him, he caught it without even looking.

"We'll catch him Longbottom." Moody grumbles as he walks over to us and I hand him his knife as well. I stick my own in the back of my pants.

"It's been six months since you started looking for this bastard. He'll have nowhere to hide soon. We're getting closer every day."

"That may be true, but we now have Evan Rosier to look for and Travers, and Mucilber and Antonin Dolohov."

"Well here's my idea, I say we just scan the country side and stop looking for one death eater at a time. We know they didn't leave England because all of them are still attacking places and to be honest the location of the attacks are getting closer together, so they might be trying to meet up." Moody eyes me for a second.

"And then when they do meet up we can get them all together in one." Frank finishes with a grin. Moody thinks about it for a few seconds and nods his head.

"Alright, get your stuff together." I walk into the back room and start grabbing the supplies we'll need grabbing three of each, and stuffing the rest of the stuff into an enlarged back before I put a shrinking charm on it and stuff it in my pocket. When I walk back in Frank and Moody are talking to James, Alice, and Lily.

"Hey." I say walking in. Lily gives me a tired smile. Jade's probably still on her mind every minute.

"Little Black, they're coming with us today." It's not that I didn't love my friends, don't get me wrong it's just that I've been kind of a loner these days. I moved back into my flat and I don't ever go and visit because of all the work I'm doing so, being with them would make me uncomfortable.

"Do you think that is a good idea sir?" Moody raises an eye brow at me. "The Carrow's are without a doubt still in France. We can't just forget about them, they were our top priority. If we leave them I'm sure they'll do something stupid. I know them and they are absolutely relentless." Mad-Eye sucks in a deep breath runs a hand over his scarred face.

"You're right. Little Longbottom, Little Potter, and Potter, You're to go to France again today, I want you searching all the large forests. If you don't find him by 5 come back. I'm not sure if we'll be back yet, but finish the report and then go home." James looks at me and narrows his eyes, I haven't meet his eyes in 2 and a half months and I can't meet them now, I turn my head.

"Fine." James says, and I can tell he's angry.

"Be careful, stay together." Moody tells them. I gather up the rest of the stuff, Frank, Moody, and I start heading for the door, I stop when someone grabs my arm. I turn around to face Alice.

"Don't be a stranger." She tells me. I give her a light smile which is the only thing I can give.

"Okay, be careful. If you need help-"

"Let you know?" James asks bitterly.

"Yes." I say simply before walking out. I run to catch up with Moody and Frank as they step onto the elevator.

"I know why you did that back there little Black." Moody says.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I lie turning and facing the wall. Surprisingly he drops it, though that may have something to do with Frank. We step out the door and Moody turns to us.

"Same woods as before, yes?" we nod. "Go!" I turn on the spot apparating right into the dark woods. The black clothes I'm wearing stick to my skin because it's already way to hot out.

"Okay, we're splitting up. Use whatever means necessary to capture them, I don't care if they're dead or alive got me?" We nod our heads.

"Be careful." Frank warns as Moody starts walking away. He gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"You too." We go in separate directions and just walk aimlessly through the forest. I take in a deep breath and place a cooling charm on myself. These are the times when I wish I had a distraction. I distance myself from all my friends except Frank and when I'm not with someone I think about Jade and Sirius constantly. I just don't understand what I did wrong. Maybe my life was too complicated for him. I mean I lose everyone and I'm not always the happiest person I can be but maybe the things I've been through he just can't deal with. I don't know what the case is but, it would really be helpful if he'd at least let me now. I wipe a bitter tear off my face. Dammit sometimes he can be such a damn coward. How could he not tell me he was leaving? I at least deserved a good bye, didn't I? Even Moony said good bye to us, even though I was mad he still just didn't pick up and leave. I just don't understand at all.

I lose people all the time; I mean what do you expect it's a war going on. Just the other day it was said that Traver's helped murder the McKinnons. I've known them for years. Everyone around me is dying, everyone around us is dying and he decided now to pick up and go? What an arsehole. What a selfish arrogant arsehole. But I don't want to see Sirius anymore, I want to see Remus. I need to know that he's really okay. Jade meant everything to him, and then he watched her die right in front of him. I want to be there for him, that's my thing it helps distract everything. If someone is upset I help them, because then I don't think about what's upsetting me. Sure it's a stupid way to live because I always run from my problems as Sirius and James tell me I do, but it works for me, and then when I'm ready to deal with the problem I do. And right now I am so not ready to deal with the problem so since I can't take care of anyone I started working, a lot.

I wipe a bead of sweat off my forehead and glance down at my watch, three hours. It's been three hours since we've been looking, and I haven't seen a flicker of anything. Not one damn thing. I start walking again. I walk and search for at least three more hours. I stop when I hear a loud bang. I search the trees with my eyes hoping to see something, anything. I notice a tree down a little ways so I start running to it. Then without warning a hex hits me and I fly grab my leg which had started to bleed.

The laughter rings through my ears. "Ah Black, how lovely to see you." I look up and into the eye of Travers, standing next to him was Evan Rosier, and Karkaroff.

"I agree, this is a fine day for us to meet." I say standing up straight.

"You haff been looking for me for months." Karkaroff says.

"We ha**ve** been." I say putting emphases on the VE.

"Same you're all alone." Travers taunts with a glint in his eye.

"Where are your masks?" I say back with a glare.

"Oh these?" Rosier says taking out his mask and throwing it on the ground. He then points his wand at my chest. "We won't need these today."

"And why is that." They all smile widely.

"I figure we owe you to at least be able to see the men that are the cause of your death." My right hand starts to shake. I've never been alone before with these three, sure in school I've hexed and dueled along but this is nowhere near the same.

"I'm dying today?" I say trying to cover up my fear.

"Oh yes." Travers says simply and that breaks the ice and curses and hexes start flying at me, I dock and shield some of them, but some get passed my guard and I feel them cutting into my skin.

"Damn you!" I snarl as we continue fighting back and forth, but I find it surprises no one had brought out the killing curse, or actually any of the three unforgivable curses. So I bring them out.

"Crucio!" I shout pointing my wand at Traver's who falls to the ground twitching in pain. I grin madly for a few seconds breathing in and out through the pain.

"Crucio!" Someone shouts at me, my wand drops for my hand, as it feels like a thousand hot knives have run through me. I don't scream, but I want too, I want to so bad, but I won't give in to the curse. Finally he releases it and I take in a long breath.

"Accio!" I reach for my wand just as it flies out of my reach and into Rosier's hand. "All alone without a wand." Dammit! I knew I forgot something when I left, I forgot the extra wands. Now I'm going to be honest, I'm scared. He leans over top of me, and I kick him hard in the head. He grabs his head in pain as I start to stand up. He punches me round the face, and I grimace but pull out my knife. He tackles me to the ground and we start struggling, his hand on the knife trying to get it out of my hands, but who am I kidding we all know he's way stronger than me, he takes the knife from my hands and stands up wiping a bloody lip.

"You've got nothing now, do you?" Someone comes from behind me and pulls me up into a sitting position by my hair and holds on. Rosier crouches down to my level with an evil smile on his face. I got nothing left so I spit in it. He growls and lounges forward with the knife start right above my eye brow and all the way down to my cheek bone cutting right over my eye lids. I hiss at the pain, making sure I don't scream.

"That hurt didn't it?" I don't answer. "How about this." He takes the knife a make a cut underneath my chin, blood starts pouring down my robes. "Nothing yet?" I don't answer again. "I'll try this then." He takes the knife and cuts into my robes and cuts across my scars. I bite my lip against the pain and that seems to give him an idea. "Hmm, seems that one hurt a little bit, but I won't stop until you scream. So you should just give in now and scream so I can kill you." I don't open my mouth. I watch as the knife comes closer to my lips, he starts making little cuts along the bottom of my lip, and then he pulls my mouth open and cuts along the inside of my mouth, blood fills up my mouth and runs down my face connecting with the blood from my eye, chin, and shoulder. I start getting lightheaded but I wasn't going to give in. If I was going to die I was going to die with pride. He stops asking me to scream now and just continues cutting everyplace he can, my legs, arms, my hands. All the while the three are laughing. The person holding my hair pushes me down so I'm face in the dirt. "This will get a scream out of you." And then the knife plunges into my back and I let out the loudest scream I ever have in my life, I scream and scream and scream until everything goes black.

XX

I blink my eyes open but pain shoots though the right one, and I can't see out of it. Am I blind? I stare up at the white ceiling, not knowing where I am. I can't move my legs or my arm and I start panicking, my chest rises and falling quickly as my breathing accelerates. Suddenly someone is blocking my view, my breathing doesn't calm down.

"Zee?" I recognize the sound of his voice and I notice that it's Moony. I breathe out a sigh of relief and close my eye and then open it again.

"M-" He puts a hand to my sore lips.

"Shhhh." He says. "I'm here." I let the tears fall down my cheeks, and I look down to see my whole is basically taped up.

"I-I w-was so scared." I sob. He goes to touch me but then stops and sits down in the seat very close to my bed.

"I would hug you Zee, but I can't touch you without hurting you." I nod, as I try swallowing the thump in my throat.

"Remus is she-"

"Frank?" I croak out.

"Oh honey." He says and I can hear his footsteps running closer to the bed. He looks down at me and I see that his eyes are red and puffy. My breathing accelerates again. "Don't get worked up it's not good for you." I nod my head and my lip starts quivering. "Are you in pain?"

"Yes." He closes his eyes. "What happened?" Frank and Remus exchange looks. "Tell me, please." I cry out.

"I didn't get anything all day, not one flicker of movement. I found Moody and we were going to find you when we heard you scream. We start running to go find you and when we did you were on the ground face down, blood pooling around you with a knife in your back. Traver's and Rosier were still there. Rosier hexed Moody and a chunk of his nose is now missing but Moody was so mad that Rosier did that to you that he killed him on the spot. I captured Traver's and he's in Azkaban right now."

"Karkaroff was there." I tell him. His eyes widen.

"He was there?" I nod my head. "Dammit, the damn bastard got away again."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't you apologize to me Xeomara, don't you dare." Frank orders.

"What's wrong with me? I'm not paralyzed am I?" Frank shakes his head and I sigh in relief.

"They just gave you a potion so that you can't move; they don't want you opening your injuries while they're trying to heal. You can't move from the neck down." So that's why I can nod my head. "You're cut everywhere." He says sadly.

"How long was I out for?"

"We found you about three hours ago. James wrote Moony and-"

"Where is James?" I ask my voice going back to normal.

"At Azkaban-"

"What?"

"He's the one that took Traver's from me, I suspect he's taking his frustrations out on him. He's really mad. He's also mad at Moody because he killed Rosier, and James wanted to kill."

"I figured he would be." Then I remember someone else. "Lily and Alice.

"They're here but Lily freaked out so bad when she saw you that Alice had to take her out of the room." I look towards Remus, and he smiles sadly.

"I came back alone." I close my eyes and a tear slips down my cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Di-did he even care?"

"Of course he did, he was a right mess but he said he couldn't come back. Peter told me to owl him when you're okay."

"You're not going back." He shakes his head.

"I'm here to take care of you."

"Take care of me? Remus that's silly. I'll probably be back to work in a week and you'd be bored. All I do-"

"Zee, you're not going back to work in a week." I stare at Frank wide eyed.

"Why not?" I ask panicked.

"Because-"

"Because you've been ruddy stabbed in the back that's why." Moody grumbles as he walks in the door, his nose tapped. "I'm not letting you walk back into the office for at least a month."

"A MONTH?!" I yell in outrage. "I NEED TO GO BACK TO WORK! I CAN'T NOT WORK MOODY! IF I DON'T I-"

"Hey!" A voice yells angrily as they walk in. James walks right up to the foot of the bed and glares at me. "Xeomara Elizabeth Black, you shut your dammed mouth right now." I swallow thickly and close it. "If you keep yelling like that you'll be here longer." He adds softer. "Remus will be there to help you get back on your feet, because we still have to work. I want to catch these bastards." I nod my head. James rubs a hand over his face and sighs deeply. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just so-"

"Frustrated?" I put in. He nods.

"You've been avoiding everyone but Frank and Moody like the plague and then this happened and well…I can't have you not talking to me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." He says running a finger through his hair. Suddenly I feel like I can move again and the pain comes back full force. I lift my hands to my face and examine them, they're heavily tapped and I can see some dried blood.

"You can move." Remus announces. "Should she be moving yet?"

"I'm not sure, I'll go check." Frank says getting up and running from the room. I turn to Moody.

"So I'll see you in a month?"

XX

A week passed and finally yesterday around noon I was taken home by Remus. He stayed with me every moment in the St. Mungo's which I was grateful for because I hated hospitals. I wasn't really allowed to walk or shower by myself, so that's where Remus came in, though he refused to shower me, so Alice and Lily would do that. I have yet to look at myself in the mirror and I won't until I'm fully healed.

"What do you want to eat?" Remus says walking into the living room where I was laying on the couch.

"Chocolate."

"Chocolate isn't a meal Zee." I roll my eyes, well my one eye.

"Fine, toast?" He returns to the kitchen and come back out with some toast and a cup of tea. He helps me sit up, and I bite my teeth against the pain my back. He sits down next to me and flips on the TV.

"How ya feeling today?" I carefully bite into my toast trying to avoid the sore spots on my lips were thankfully already healed.

"Mm, better." I say around the food in my mouth. I look at my hands as I take another piece of toast. We took the tape off of them yesterday and my palms have scars going down the middle, not very noticeable but still and my knuckles are scarred.

"That's good. I was thinking we could take the rest of the tape off today, well except for your back." I nod my head. "You up for it?"

"I guess." Fifteen minutes later I'm standing in front of my floor length mirror in just my bra and knickers with Moony behind me. Right now, I have something covering up the my right eyes, my shoulder is taped, I have a lot of taping around my torso because of my back, my legs are taped at the thighs and the calves, and my one upper arm is taped and on the other my forearm is. He starts working first on the ones on my leg; I see a thick scar on my calves and my thighs. He then moves towards my arms, and the one of my forearm is along the vein, and the one on my upper arm is on the inside.

"Wow." I breathe out touching the line along my leg. He then takes the cover off of my eye and I just stare at it, It's thicker and deeper than the other ones. It starts right above my eye brow and down along by eye lid to my cheek bone. I'm now thanking Merlin that I had closed my eyes. "I used to be pretty." I say looking at my face sadly.

"You're beautiful." I snort.

"Oh don't make me laugh Rem I'm hideous." He shakes his head.

"No you're not. Look the scars from me have faded to almost nothing. I'm sure this one will too." I shrug my shoulders.

"When can I take this one off?"

"The healer says he wants to check it before you do, so I'll take you into St. Mungo's next week."

"Great, more hospital visits."

"I wrote Sirius." I look at his eyes through the mirror and turn around picking up my big tee shirt and pulling it over my head as I do. "He's glad you're okay."

"Lovely." I say walking slowly back toward the couch.

"Don't be bitter Xeomara. He's going to come back someday. What are you going to do not talk to him?" Remus says catching up to me and lifting me in his arms.

"I'll talk to him." I say as he sets me down on the couch. Remus raises an eye brow. "Okay maybe not at first, but we've been through too much together, to never talk to him again." He nods, and it falls silent as we stare at the TV.

James, Lily, Frank, and Alice visit regularly. Molly even came a few times, but today was the first day I was allowed to leave my house in two weeks. My back was completely healed, and I was itching to get back to work but I still had two more weeks left. I had cut my hair short again like I did seventh year. Remus told me that I only do that because I was upset. I smacked him.

Moony took my hand and apparated to the burrow, because I was dying to see the little boys. I knock on the door, and suddenly Molly's there pulling it open and pulling me into a hug. I smile widely loving the feeling of finally being out.

"I figured you come early to the meeting." She says pulling back.

"Of course I would, this is my first time out in two weeks!" She smiles and we sit down at the table while she walks back in with the boys. She hands George to me, and Fred to Remus. I watch as Remus smiles brightly down at the baby and starts playing with his little hands. He would have made a great father. I look down to George.

"Hi baby, sorry I haven't come in a while." He makes a little gurgling noise and smiles. I close my eyes and just marvel at the feel of him in my arms.

"I bet your dying to get back to work." Molly says sitting down from across me.

"You bet I am."

"She's been complaining about it since her second day in the hospital." Remus adds on. I lean over with my free hand and smack the back of his head. "What you have!" Molly laughs.

"So you've been staying there then?" She asks directed to Remus.

"Well yeah, I-"

"He basically lives there. He sold his house before he left for France because he's an idiot and now he lives with me." I say with a smile.

"Well that's good. How've you been Remus?" She asks looking at him intently. He falters for a little bit and looks down. When he looks back up they're tears shining in his eyes, which make both mine and Molly's fill up.

"I miss her." He says simply. I swallow thickly and run a tear that fell from my eye grimaces when I felt the nasty scar. Molly reaches across the table and pats his hand.

"It will get easier." I know she was thinking about her brothers when she said this. 'We all miss her." She says smiling. I nod my head and look away from the deep conversation Remus and Molly had just started and tune out their voices, just staring at George. I rock him back and forth until he falls asleep. The sound of the doors opening, make my head jerk up. The order members start filling in. I stand up slowly, and take Fred from Remus.

"I'll take them upstairs Molly."

"You don't-"

"Let her go, she wants to start doing things." Remus says. I smile gratefully at him and kiss his cheek. I walk into the living room and up the stairs to the second floor. I place the sleeping babies softly in their crib and kiss their soft foreheads. I head back down stairs and take the seat Remus had saved for me.

"Hey partner." Frank says from across the table. I grin at him. "I miss you on the job."

"Miss you too, have you caught Karkaroff yet?" He shakes his head.

"The damn bastard keeps slipping through our fingers." Moody grumbles. "It's almost like he's trying to stay in one spot to piss us off."

"And it's working." I say with a smile noticing Moody's expression.

"Damn straight."

"The Carrow's?"

"Nothing, Sirius has been helping us look as well." James says and looks at me.

"James, you can talk about Sirius in front of me, I don't mind." He shrugs. "How is he?" I ask.

"Not the same." Lily answers truthfully. "He's more reserved and doesn't joke around as much. He's pretty down."

"Does he like working for Gaspard?" Lily smile widely.

"Gaspard is really hard on him." My eye brows furrow in confusion. "He knows that Sirius left you, and he's a little bitter towards him. He cursed him out in French for ten minutes." A smile comes to my lips.

"I hope Gaspard isn't too hard on him. I'll tell him to let up a bit."

"Don't do that! I'm sure it's amusing! I can picture Gaspard cursing at him, it would be hilarious!" Frank says with a laugh.

"Franklin!" I yell. He rolls his eyes.

"He deserves it." He mutters under his breath.

"I heard that."

"Heard what?" He says innocently.

"Hello everyone!" Dumbledore says walking his blue eyes twinkling. They land on me and he smiles. "Hello Xeomara, how are you doing?"

"Good, I'm ready for work."

"Don't count on it, you got two weeks left." Moody says. A few people laugh.

"Alright, you know the drill everyone get started." Albus says. I sit on the edge of my seat as I listen to the stories of the attacks and the spying and such. When Dumbledore dismisses the meeting he calls me up. I walk over to him and he hugs me tightly.

"I'm glad to see you're okay. And I see you've cut your hair again." I smile sheepishly.

"Yeah well…" I say tugging on the end of my hair.

"You will be back to Knockturn Alley on July 1st. You'll be relieving Hestia at 12 midnight. So you should try and be back from your first day of work by at least eight so you can get some sleep." I nod my head. "I'm truly sorry about Mr. Black." I look away.

"Some things just aren't mean to be."

"I wouldn't be too sure about that." I turn my direction back to his face, and our eyes lock.

"What do you mean by that?" He smiles softly, his eyes twinkle.

"He'll be back. I don't know when, but I'm usually right about these things. So trust me, he'll be back."


	51. Sirius is a Prat

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for reviewingggggg! I've just seen the sixth harry potter movie and it was a hundred times better then the fifth so anyone that hasn't seen it yet, is in for something good =)**

**XX**

Chapter fifty one- Sirius is a Prat.

**-Sirius' POV-**

I knock on the office door, "Enter." I pull open the door and turn towards Mrs. Dechamp, who narrows her eyes at me.

"She's a wonderful girl." Is all she says before she points towards the Minister's office and gestures for me to go in. I step inside the office and greet the minister even though he hates me (as do many other's here.).

"Take a seat Black." I sit in the chair right in front of his desk. "I suppose you're wondering why I've called you in here."

"Yes sir." I reply.

"I wanted to let you know I received a letter for Xeomara today." I make my face as blank as possible.

"That's good." I say dryly. He rolls his hazel eyes at me and stops playing the minister roll, he leans forward in his seat and gives me a knowing look.

"Honestly Black, everyone knows you still love her. You just made a stupid mistake, which I'm sure, is fixable by the way." I stare at the wall behind his head not wanting to meet his eyes. "I know you didn't ask me to but I'm going to read you what she has written to me:

_Dear Gaspard,_

_There are a number of reasons I'm writing you this letter firstly because I heard through the grapevine that you've been giving my husband-ex husband- ah whatever the hell he is right now, a hard time. Now as much as I appreciate you doing that for me, I'm going to have to ask you to let up a bit. Sirius is a great person and an excellent wizard. Just try and get to know him, you two are more alike than you think and trust me you'd like him. Besides according to Remus he already gave him a good talking too-"_

"Talking to? More like a punch on the mouth." I grumble. Mr. Franco grins slightly but continues on.

"_The second reason is I'm replying to the letter you sent me while I was in St. Mungo's. Everything you heard was indeed true. And it's left me with quite a bit of scaring, which now makes those French girls probably ten hundred times prettier than me. Remus has been taking care of me since I got out which you know I absolutely hate. I would have written you earlier it's just that my knuckles were- well you get the point and besides Remus wouldn't let me. He doesn't let me do anything by myself. Even though the stab wound on my back as pretty much healed he's still carrying me just about everywhere, the kitchen, my bedroom, the bathroom, around James' house. I'll never admit this to him but I'm actually glad he does. Ever get stabbed in the back? It hurts like a bitch._

_Now for the third reason I'm writing you. Frank and I miss you. We were wondering if you'd like to meet us for dinner tomorrow night. I know it's short notice and all but James and I are going on a mission for the order the day after and besides I'll be quite busy now that today is my first day back at work. So as of right now July First is my favorite day! Anyways back to the dinner plans, I was wondering if you'd come here because well even though we miss you, we don't exactly miss France. Just owl me if you can make it. I have to cut this letter short or I guess long because Moody's actually yelling at me at the moment telling me to wrap it up so we can go search for the slippery bastard (Karkaroff) Oh and tell Sirius, him and the other aurors better step their damn game up and find the Carrows. And warn him not to make me come up there because I will, I can guarantee I'd find them faster. We're sending James, Lily, and Alice up there now so look for them._

_With love,_

_Xeomara._

_P.S. Frank says hello._

"This owl came about five minutes ago." He informs me. I nod my head. "Wonderful girl isn't she?"

"Yeah."

"She seems to like going to work." He adds.

"Franco what are you getting to?" I ask him beating around the bush.

"I will be letting up on you, only because Zee has asked me. But I don't care when you do, but your arse better go back to her. Now go meet your friends and get the hell out of here!" He yells.

"Yes sir." I say all but running out of his office. I collide with James in the hall way bit catch his shoulders before he falls.

"Hey mate." He says clapping me on the back.

"Lily." I say kissing her cheek.

"Sirius."

"Alice." I say kissing her as well.

"Hello Sirius, are you done being a prat yet?" she asks the smile not leaving her face. I ignore the question.

"How is she?"

"Better." James says. "A lot better actually, I think she's happy because she gets to work again. Personally I would have kept her off for another month; the wound on her back is probably really painful."

"She said that it hurt like a bitch and still does and is glad that Remus carries her around."

"Dammit, I knew she lie- How do you know that?" James asks narrowing his eyes.

"Franco read it to me in his letter, because apparently he thinks I should know what she's been up to." Lily nods her head.

"She seems to think she isn't beautiful anymore." She says.

"Well she only got stabbed on her back right it wasn't-"

"Pads, it was worse, much worse." Alice says giving me a small smile.

"Well uh- we actually told Moony not to tell you how bad it was but to narrow it down she's lucky to be alive." My face is heating up in anger.

"And none of you decided to tell me this?" Lily bites her lip.

"I'm sorry, it's just that-"

"I don't care; let's just go find the damn Carrow's." Lily nods and starts handing me supplies.

"Alright, we'll split up now. Lily, Alice call us if you need us. Got it?" Lily nods not even bothering to say good bye as her and Alice start sprinting towards the other side of the woods.

"She also mentioned in the letter that you two are going on some mission for the order?" I say after it's quiet for a few minutes. James points his wand behind the tree and finds nothing then answers,

"Yeah we leave the third, Lily's pissed naturally and everyone is mad that Maurie is going. Molly and Remus almost had a fit. But it the end Albus allowed her to go." He says as I check behind another tree.

"Where are you going?" James shakes his head.

"Sorry pads, can't say." I figured as much. "We should only be gone a week, I'll owl you when we get back." I don't say anything and I guess he takes that for an okay. We both continue to search the woods looking for any sign of things. We'd only been in the woods for two hours when a slivery doe is standing in front of us.

"You might want to come see this." It says in the voice of Lily, than we follow doe exchanges looks as we go. We're taken to a large clearing. In the middle of it are a grinning Lily and Alice and tied up at their feet are Alecto and Amycus Carrow. I look over Lily and Alice and see no sign of struggle or injury.

"Merlin, how easy did they go down?" James asks with a smile.

"Too easy." Alice comments giving Alecto a little kick in the ribs.

"We should take them back to the ministry." Lily says. "Sirius it's been fun but I doubt we'll come over anytime soon." Lily says kissing me.

"When are you going to stop being an idiot and come home?" Alice asks kissing me as well.

"I don't know." I reply truthfully.

"Well we miss you pads." James says. "Before careful and hopefully I'll see you soon." He kneels down and touches Alecto before apparating with a soft pop, Lily does the same with Amycus and Alice is left standing there.

"She's a right mess without you. Frank said she's not the same, since we wouldn't know because she won't see anyone but him, Remus, and Molly. I just wanted you to know what you did to her." She says before turning on the spot. I run my hands through my hair in a way of frustration before I also turn on the spot and land outside the French Ministry.

XX

"She was a right mess Black." Franco says as a way of greeting as I walk into his office two days later. "Nothing like the Xeomara I remember." I just stare at him, waiting for him to continue. "She has a scar that goes from her the top of her eye brow down over top of her eye lid to her cheek bone. She's damn near lucky she closed her eye." I cringe as he says this, imagining Zee getting cut like that. "She's covered in scars, her arms, legs, chin, and shoulder. But she's still as beautiful as I remember." He adds.

"Is she healed?" I ask nervously wringing my hands.

"Her back still hurts, and since your friend Remus was worried about her, since she had been working all day and the day before that, that Frank actually had to carry her. She wasn't too happy about the public embarrassment. She hit Frank on the back of the head the second he placed her in a seat."

"Sounds like something she would do."

"She was stressed out because she's yet to find Karkaroff, though she's extremely happy those two girls caught the Carrow's. She said and I quote 'I've been so stressed out that I actually enjoyed their screams when I took them to Azkaban.' Sweet girl, huh?" He says on a laugh. "Well I just wanted to let you know what you did to her. Have fun at work!"

XX

**-Lily's POV-**

"Hesita they've been gone for three days already and I haven't heard a word." I say as I take another sip of tea.

"Lils, it will take some time. You can't expect them to be done sooner and I'm sure they probably aren't allowed to contact you."

"You're right, they're just probably not allowed."

"No one else is worried and you shouldn't-"

"They haven't contacted us once! Once!" Remus screams pushing open the kitchen door.

"Okay I take that back." Hestia says looking at Remus' clearly worried facial expression.

"She shouldn't have gone, she was still injured. I can't believe I let her go!"

"James will take care of her; you know how protective he is of her." Hestia says trying to make him feel better.

"Well I'm protective of her too! And Sirius and Wormtail would be worried if they were here right now to, except-"

"Sirius is being a prat?" I fill in.

"Yes." He says unconsciously. "I mean not actually." He adds on. I give him a knowing look. "Okay, okay he's being a prat." I smile.

"He's been gone for what? Three months?" They both nod. "He'll be back, he could never fully leave her."

"Yeah but the thing is, what happens when he comes home? He can't just go to Xeomara and expect it to be the same." Remus says. "She is really torn up Lily." I rub a hand over my face.

"Maybe it will all work out." Hestia says. "They seem to really love each other." I shrug my shoulders. "Okay Lils, I have to get back to work. See you both later." She says standing up and walking towards the door.

"I'd hate night shift." I grumble. I refill my tea cup and conjure one for Remus.

"Thanks." He says looking down.

"You're really nervous aren't you?" He nods his head.

"You know everyone always just assumed that she was closest with James and Sirius but she wasn't. We were all close to her, James a little more so but we are all protective and we all care about. She's the sister I never had, just like you turned out to be when you started dating James." I look up at him in surprise. "We were each other's family. That's the way it's always been with us, but we all knew that Sirius and Zee didn't see each other the way I saw her or the way she saw me or James. We all knew they'd end up together." I smile, I never really heard about the stories of them when they were younger.

"Tell me about when you guys were younger." He smiles widely.

"I'm not sure what happened before I went in their compartment, I suspect that is a story you know." He says his eyes twinkling. "Well Peter and I walked in and the was the three people there, two tall black haired kids with untidy and messy hair and a small black haired girl with the brightest blue eyes I'd ever seen. They were all sharing a bench and laughing madly. I was a little nervous the full moon had only been a few days ago. So I asked if we could sit there, the boys didn't answer but Zee got up, took my hand and pulled me and Peter both into the compartment." I smile thinking of an 11 year old Zee. "So we exchanged names and which houses we wanted to be in which obviously the house of Gryffindor. It was like we sort of just clicked, we all got along so well and then we spent every day together."

"So that's how the great Marauder's became friends." He nods his head.

"Yeah pretty much. It was a great first year, except for the night when I made excuses to leave."

"Who figured that one out?" I ask taking another sip of tea.

"Xeomara of course, her family wasn't the best to her as you know so she had only a few books which she could read and seeing as she barely left her room she read them each many times. She came across werewolf in one of the books and compared the symptoms to me. First week back to school she barged into our dorm and demanded that I tell them."

"How shocked were you?"

"Completely, so she held my hand while I told them, both of us were crying. And Sirius was mad because we didn't tell him, James was shocked, as was Peter but she took Sirius' anger for being disgusted. She pointed her wand at his chest and threatened to hex him. Then she told them how angry she was at all of them and we started to head down towards the door when Sirius started yelling, he now had his wand pointed at Zee and was saying how he didn't care what I was and he was mad that she thought that way, and after that she ran to Sirius and he caught her and they both sat on his bed crying. James then came up and hugged me, and well after that we all basically just cried." I give a little laugh.

"We were a family, if one of us cried the others did too."

"You guys all have an amazing friendship. I wish I had friends like that." He looks at me and takes my hand.

"You do."

XX

"Moody, do you have that file on the McKinnons?" I call to him the next day at the office.

"Yes." He says and then sends it my way. I nod my head in thanks and start reading over the report, the deaths, the times and such. "Little Potter we have to go to the department of mysteries soon." I nod my head, and continue reading the file so I could hand it over to Crouch when we arrived.

"Travers!" Crouch barks from the stands only a few rows in front of me. I hear Moody chuckle when Travers flinches, and Dumbledore who was also sitting next to me shoots him a look. "I want to get right to the point today; we don't have time to waste. These are the known charges against you: Murdering the McKinnons, One of the people that helped murdered the Prewett brothers, assisted Evan Rosier in fatally injuring auror Xeomara Black, torturing of muggles Mandy and Alex Medea and are known to be one of You-Know-Who's biggest supporter."

"His names Voldemort." I snort under my breath.

"Atta girl." Moody whispers from beside me. Dumbledore shoots both of us a look this time.

"I-I was under the imperius curse! I did not know!"

"LIE!" Barty screams. "You will be given a lifetime sentence at Azkaban Prision, should you find some way to escape which I highly doubt that, you will be killed." Travers doesn't even nod his head. "Take him!" He shouts. Moody and I get up from our seats and walk down the aisle til we reach him; Moody jerks him up to his feet while I point my wand at him. The dementors give of an uneasy chill but I focus on Travers wanting to do nothing more than to kill him right now. Once we get outside we apparate to Azkaban. The prision that is located completely around water stands talk and shaky. We give the name at the desk and I grab the key from the lady as we walk up to the high protected prision floor.

"Don't have anything to say now, do ya boy!" Moody barks to the shaking man as we walk. This is the first time I have ever been to Azkaban and I never wanted to come here again even though I knew I'd have to. Dementors glide around everywhere, the prisions are chained and look completely mad, talking to themselves, whistling or humming, and some just scream continuously, they don't stop. I hurriedly stick the key in the door, and Moody pushes him inside.

"Good luck Travers." I say closing it. I turn the lock and put the key in my pocket, we walk down the hallway and only after a few minutes do I hear his screaming.

XX

"Eat some chocolate." Remus says to me when I come home shaking madly. He breaks off a piece of chocolate and hands it to me; I can barely put it in my mouth because I'm shaking so badly.

"I-I h-hate it there." I stutter out. While I bite a piece of chocolate and take a sip from my tea.

"At least you didn't pass out; most people do the first time they walk in there." I nod my head.

"Have you ever been there?" He nods his head.

"I went, when I worked for the French Ministry. Wormtail passed out the second we walk through the doors." I nod my head. I shiver again and bite of another piece of chocolate. "The chocolate will help, it always does."

"Remus did you ever think about becoming a teacher?"

"W-what?" He asks shocked.

"You're brilliant; you'd make a great teacher." He shakes his head.

"Lily, no one wants a werewolf to teach their children." I smile widely.

"Where is that Gryffindor courage?" He narrows his eyes at me. "When you finally decide that you are worth something, be a teacher."


	52. Finally Getting Back to Normal

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for the reviews!!!!!!!! **

**XX**

Chapter fifty two- Finally Getting Back to Normal.

**-Xeomara's POV-**

James and I had been home for months now after the failure of a mission, rumors had been going around that there was someone who knew how to defeat Voldemort but as I said it was a failed mission, so we didn't get anything from it. It's been five months since Sirius left, which also meant five months since Jade's death, and five months since the Weasley twins were born, bringing us to the middle of September. And things were going back to normal, I could walk without my back hurting and I could work all day like before, without getting exhausted. I even got around to hanging out with my Family again. And I couldn't have been happier. Remus still lived with me, obviously as if he had anywhere else to go. We were always at James' house though, Remus and I, Frank and Alice, and various order member's that we were friends with. Another large reason that I went over there epescially in the mornings is because I had to teach Lily and James to cook, because sad as it may seem they were almost 20 years old and still couldn't coke to save their lives. The order work was still as crazy as ever, attacks almost once a week and a whole lot of patrolling. Voldemort wasn't showing himself as much as his death eaters, the only people that have seen him were Remus, Alice, And Frank who barely managed to escape last month and no my duties have insisted of taking care of Remus as well. And since Frank and Alice have both been out of work, Lily and I have been working together and Jimmy was still with Moody. But there was thing I was sure of, no matter how happy I had gotten in the last two months I would never be over Sirius.

"Frankkkk." I whined, from where I was sitting on the floor. He looked down from the couch with a raised eye brow. "Come back to work." I demand.

"You think I don't want to?! I want to get out of this damned house!"

"We could have died Frank, and all you can think about his wanting to go back to work!" Alice shouts from the other couch which she was laying on. All and all they looked a right side better than they did when we first found them. They were all bloodied up, and completely passed out. Needless to say it was the first time I ever fainted on the job.

"Yes Alice, but we didn't! And I'm ready to get back to work." I shake my head.

"Do you two ever get along?"

"Yes." They both reply. I roll my eyes.

"Well, when did they say you guys could get back?"

"Two weeks." I groan.

"I hate that bastard."

"So do I."

"He's ruined everything for me; he killed the only parents I knew because I didn't want to be a death eater." I bite my lip and turn my head. "And he wants you two dead because you won't be death eaters either. Apparently in his eyes that equals to _Mudbloods._" I spat out the word. "He won't stop."

"No, he won't." Alice agrees solemnly, I look up and stare into Frank's eyes.

"But I _will _live to see him dead."

XX

"Remus are you sure you'll be okay while I'm at work?" I call from the kitchen as I make a cup of tea.

"I'll be fine!" He yells back annoyed.

"Yes, but you still probably need help doing things maybe I should take off again." I say biting me lip.

"You will do no such thing!" I roll my eyes, grabbing another cup and walk into the living room. Remus was propped up on the couch surrounded by pillows. I silently hand him a cup of tea. "Thanks." I study the gashes on his face that have been taking an unusual amount of time to heal. "They'll heal." He says noticing my frown.

"When?" He flicks my lower lip that when out into a pout.

"Soon, they healer told me it will be just a little longer than usual that's all." I frown again remembering the story I was told of how it happened.

"Remmie?" He looks up from his cup of tea.

"Huh?"

"Why did you stop fighting?" His amber eyes stare into my blue ones and I can tell he's trying to think of a way to put it.

"I didn't have anything left to give." I knew that feeling; I felt it in France right before James came and saved me. If he hadn't of came, I would have died. I reach my hand forward and cup his cheeks. The thought of him not caring if he died ran through my head and I shivered. Maybe it was too soon for him to be back fighting I mean I knew Jade had died five months ago but it still had to be fresh in his memory. Could he maybe have been glad he was going to see her?"

"Live for us, Remus." He looks shocked.

"I-What?" I shake my head and stand up.

"Just remember that okay? I'll see you after work." I turn on the spot, leaving with a small pop.

James and Lily were already in the office when I arrived. They didn't notice me because they were both looking at files, so I sat down at my desk and pulled out another file, the person I had still yet to catch, Igor Karkaroff. I read his file over and over. Enraged I slam it down on my desk.

"Maurie?" James asks, looking nervous.

"We need to find this bastard!" I say shaking my head. "Moody!" I yell into the larger office.

"Little Black." He calls back.

"I want to go look for him." He walks out of the office and leans against the door way.

"Actually I came across some new information last night." I quirk an eye brow.

"Go on."

"Apparently Antonin Dolohov was the one who helped kill the Prewett Brothers." I furrow my eye brows now. "He was one of the five, the other three are dead." I decided to change my game up.

"Let's go after Dolohov, then we can-"

"Whoa girl." He says interrupting me. "We don't have any leads on him, none at all." I groan loudly.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Wait for him to kill someone else?" Lily says angrily.

"We have no idea where he could be. We just have to listen harder to things we're missing but, right now we need to worry about Karkaroff."

XX

Twenty minutes later I find myself searching through the same damned forest I have been for the last five months with Lily at my side.

"Did you ever think of dating again?" She asks suddenly causing me to stop. Lily realizing that I had stopped turned around to face me.

"Dating?" I ask my voice only a squeak.

"Yeah well I mean it's been five months-"

"I'm aware of the time limit thank you." I input. She keeps going.

"There are many guys who wouldn't mind taking you out, and maybe you'd have fun. Maybe you can find some else, instead of waiting for Sirius." I narrow my eyes.

"I am not waiting for Sirius." She clucks her tongue.

"You can say that until you're blue in the face, but I know you _are_ waiting for him."

"I'm not." I protest again.

"Whatever, the point being maybe you should try dating." She says starting to walk forward. I follow behind her more slowly, looking behind trees and looking for anything.

"I can't." I finally tell her. This time she stops and whips her head around.

"You can't?"

"I'd compare every bloke to Sirius, and no one, no one compares to him." She looks me over for a few more seconds before starting to walk again. She didn't bring it up again. We walked on and on and the hours seemed to drag on forever, at promptly 8:15 we got a message from Moody telling us apparate to the ministry, and we'll start the same time tomorrow. So we did as we were told.

"Little Black, Little Potter." Moody says as we walk in.

"Did you see anything?" I ask hopefully. He shakes his head.

"Not a damn thing." Jimmy replies.

"Alright Stripes, Lily let's get out of here." I start heading towards the door when I stop and call over my shoulder to Moody.

"I'll be listening tonight." I tell him with a wink.

XX

"Remus!" I call as I enter the flat or penthouse whatever, and notice that he wasn't in the living room. I then proceed to check in the kitchens, bedrooms, bathrooms. The only place left was the roof. I head up the familiar set of stairs that led to one of my favorite places. And there he was laying on the roof, his hands behind his head looking up at the stars. I don't say anything I just silently walk over and lay next to him and glance up at the thousands of stars in the sky. I see Canis Major constellation immediately.

"Do you think she can see me?" He asks breaking the silence after a few minutes or maybe it was twenty. I take a deep breath not taking my eyes off the stars.

"I don't know Remus. I'd like to think so." Then my eyes land on the Regulus star, the brightest one in the constellation of Leo. And then my mind becomes filled of memories off him, each one flashing quickly before my eyes.

I'd like for her to see me." I close my eyes tightly for a moment before opening them again.

"Do you think she'd like what she sees?" I ask but really I was thinking of Regulus and The Potter's. Would they like what they'd see if they could see me?

"No." He answers truthfully, and it's like he's also answering my question.

"Me either." I say shaking my head. "But she's up there Remus. She is up there somewhere, and one day you'll see her again." He doesn't comment on that but instead states something else.

"You know what I don't get?" He asks loudly, turning to face me. I also turn on my side and look into his angered face. "I don't get why, if you can be with the one you love, you don't." My mind goes to Sirius. "He's so stupid, so incredibly stupid. He loves you, and he has the chance to be with you but he chose to leave you anyway," My eyes scan over his face trying to read him. "Just because he was scared, but at least he can be with you. I had Jade, my angel, taken away from me and he isn't even grateful for the time he has."

"Remu-"

"That's why when he came to France I got mad at him, that's why I hit him. I just go-"

"You hit him?" I ask my jaw dropping.

"Punched him in the mouth." He says sounding not at all sorry. "He doesn't seem to understand what he's missing. I'd give anything, absolutely anything to have Jade back. And Stripes there is another reason for this conversation."

"Oh, and what's that?" I ask my voice thick.

"I know Lily was planning on asking if you'd thought about dating yet. And I want you not to do it."

"W-why not?" His eyes bore into mine.

"It won't help you get over Sirius, and it will just be a meaningless relationship for you. Wait for him, Zee. He'll come back."

"I won't date anyone else Remus." I tell him seriously. "But I don't think I can wait anymore either." He opens his mouth but is cut off by the beeping of my watch. "Duty calls." I say sarcastically. I stand up slowly and stretch. "You'll be okay?"

"Eventually." He answers.

"I'll be back around 4." He nods. I lean down and kiss his cheek. "Good night!" I say leaving with a crack. I bring my cloak higher around me, shielding myself from view as I step onto the eerie road that belonged to Knockturn Alley. I slip past the run down shops and into an alley way. Docras Meadows is standing against the wall waiting patiently.

"Hey Dorcas." I whisper as I walk towards her. She looks into my direction and lowers her wand.

"Sweet Merlin, you scared me." I shrug in response. "I haven't seen anything tonight, it's been pretty dead, so if you're lucky you might get to relax." I smile at her.

"Let's hope so." She smiles and with a wave of her hand she's gone. I walk through the streets slowly and stop when I hear a low raspy voice. I look at the grey hair and growing whiskers on the face, and when he smiles I see a row of pointed teeth and at that moment I realized who he was. I stepped forward to kill the man who is the sole reason that my bestfriend was a werewolf.

"Fenrir." Someone says from behind him. My eyes dart to the next man. He was tall, skinny, with dark hair. I noticed something about the way he sounded like-"

"Mulciber." I knew it. I tapped my head and felt the familiar feeling of a dissillusioment charm. I walked silently closer.

"The Malfoy's are waiting for you." He says coldly. Greyback shrugs his burly shoulders.

"Then I'll be there, eventually." Mulciber grabs hold of his arm tightly.

"I will escort you." He grips him tighter. "Now!" A crack echoes off the wall and with a sudden jolt I realize it's not from apparating, I like the bloody idiot I am, stepped on a piece of wood.

"What was that?" I start backing away. Greyback smiles widely and I can see his nose sniffing me out. In an instant the charm is being taken off of me by Mulciber's wand.

"Well, look what we have here, Xeomara Black." I twirl my wand in my between my finger tips.

"Good Evening, Mucilber, Greyback." I spit out the last name.

"Little hostility towards me I see. Prejudice against werewolves? And here I thought you didn't agree with your Pureblooded parents." I narrow my eyes.

"You seemed to have infected my best friend." He grins toothly.

"Ah, but little girl you seemed to forget, I have infected many."

"She hangs around with that Lupin." Mulciber tells him.

"Ah yes, Adam Lupin offended me greatly." He says rubbing a hand over his face. "I told him he'd pay for what he did to me." I stop twirling my wand and grip it tightly in my hand. My blood boiling and my eyes flashing. "Let me take care of her Mulciber."

"I'll help you out a bit." Before I can say anything his wand his pointed at me and I feel light, and free like I could do anything. A tingling sensation is spreading throughout my body.

_Go to Fenrir Greyback._

_Ye- No why would I do that?_

_Go to him._

I take a step forward then stop. _No._

_Don't resist me girl! Do as I say!_

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

_GO TO HIM! _The voice shouts in my head. It was then that I realized I was under the imperious curse. And that's when it broke and with a snap I had all the feeling returned to my body.

"Nice try Mulciber. Your useless attempts won't work on me." Greyback growls and lunges towards me. He grips my throat tightly in his hand. He leans down his breath hot and sweaty on my skin. I feel his tongue slide out and lick the base of my neck.

"You taste delicious, my dear." He says against my throat, I try and suppress a shiver. Unnoticed to him I point my wand and mutter a curse, he flew back hard and hit a wall.

"You idiot!" Mulciber screamed at him. "We have to leave now!" I point my wand at his chest and the second the jet of light leaves my wand he apparates with a loud pop, another one follows shortly. I step back angrily and wipe the salvia off my neck. Damn, I lost them. The rest of the night I spent just aimlessly walking around seeing as nothing else happened. At around four I walk over to the meeting spot and see Arthur already there waiting for me.

"Hello Zee." He greets kissing my cheek.

"Arthur-"

"You look upset dear, what happened."

"I ran into Fenrir Greyback and Mulciber. They got away at the last second but I can add another charge to Mulciber." I say happily.

"Oh and what's that?"

"Using the imperious curse on an auror."

"He used-"

"He didn't succeed." He nods. I yawn loudly.

"You should head back and get some sleep." I nod absently and lean forward to kiss his cheek.

"I'll be over tomorrow." I say before apparating to my flat. I unlock the door and walk in. The TV was on and there was two glasses on the coffee table. I shut the TV and take the glasses into the kitchen placing them in the sink. I wipe the counter down and quickly wash the dishes. After the kitchen's cleaned I walk back into the living room and fold them large blanket up. Once everything is set in there I shut the light off and peak into Remus' bedroom. He was sleeping with a book on his face and the light still on. I quickly grab the large blanket from the couch and carry it into his room. I take the book off his face and place it onto the bedside table; I unfold the blanket and place it over top of him. I then flick the lights out and head to my room, closing the door softly behind me.

Finally after changing into my pajamas I climb into my sheets loving the feeling against them on my legs. With a wave of my wands the lights turn off and I'm laying in my black room starring up at the ceiling. Usually this is where I would to take the time to think about Sirius and Jade and everyone else I missed but today I was too tired to think and too exhausted to care. Without a second thought I rolled over and was asleep seconds after I closed my eyes.

XX

"Molly!" I say kissing both of her cheeks as I enter the burrow.

"Hello Zee! Arthur told me about last night." I grimace.

"Moody was a little angry I let them slip away but what could I do, you know?" She nods. We walk into the kitchen and sit down to a cup of tea like we normally do. She looked like she was glowing, something I've seen before.

"I have something to tell you!" She bursts out but is interrupted by the cries of the babies. "Oh!" she says standing up. I get up quickly and follow her past the two boys whose heads I kiss as I pass and up the stairs into the twins bedroom. She reaches down and pulls Fred out while I quickly scoop George into my arms.

"Hey there Georgie, how are you sweetheart?" I say softly kissing his forehead. I follow Molly back into the kitchen while George plays with my hair tugging on it with his fingers.

"You had something to tell me." I prompt. She looks up from Freddie with a large smile on her face.

"I'm 3 months pregnant." My face to lights up.

"Oh Molly! That's wonderful news!"

"We're trying for a girl." I shake my head.

"Good luck; there hasn't been a girl in the Weasley family for several generations." She shrugs and kisses Fred's forehead.

"Maybe we'll break the tradition." The second she says this, my mind runs over Sirius who broke a tradition of his own, by ending up in Gryffindor. Then I start to think about how we are no longer together and then about how we can't have a family of our own.

"Oh darling!" Molly says softly, she most have noticed the frown on my face and the sadness in my eyes. "Sirius will come back." I shake my head.

"I don't really want to talk about that right now. How about we talk about you and the new baby? I want to know everything, starting with how exactly you told Arthur……"

**XX**

**Okay this is the part where I apologize. I like the idiot I am, mixed up the dates and made Fred and George born later than they were supposed to. They were supposed to be born April 1, 1978 and the year they're in right now is supposed to be 1979. Which means regardless of the mix up I still had to make Molly pregnant with Ron who is born on March 1, 1980 and in order for him to be born then I had to make her three months pregnant in September. I'm so sorry for the mix up! I would go back and change it but seeing as Fred and George's birth are at such an important time in my story I can't exactly change it can I? So I hope you can just over look this minor or major detail! Again I apologize!!!!! I'm just really really sorry! I feel like an idiot! Anyways thank you for reading the chapter and review if you can.**

**With love,**

**smithchickx13**


	53. Maybe it Was Just Wishful Thinking

**I own nothing but my OC'S! thanks for the reviews!!!!**

**XX**

Chapter fifty three- Maybe it was just wishful thinking.

October started bringing in the chilly weather, and it was colder this October, more than normally. The wind whipped around me as I walked wordlessly through the woods with Frank by my side. He had come back to work only last week, as did Alice. I was grateful naturally, that I had my normal partner back. I was still a little wryly around Lily ever since she had taken to start talking about Sirius with me. She says I need to talk about my problems otherwise I would never get over him and move on. How can thick can she be? I will never stop loving Sirius. I spent a lot of time with Molly as I usually do but this pregnancy has made her sick more than usual, so I keep myself busy by taking care of her since Remus is fully healed and doesn't need me to mother him anymore (as he puts it.)

Today we weren't in the normal woods look for Karkaroff but in the woods near the Malfoy Manor. I took all of my self control not to just burst into the house and curse the life out of Lucius and Narcissa and I'm sure her good for nothing sister Bellatrix was there. Mostly likely my dear cousin was there as well.

"Merlin Zee, calm down." Frank says breaking the silence. I glare at him.

"You weren't raised with those people; you'd want to kill them just as much as I do." He punches my shoulder lightly.

"Focus Xeomara." He orders. I roll my eyes and continue looking for the Mulciber, and hopefully Greyback. We've been here for hours already and as the night started to fall it started to get colder. I was dressed in my usual work clothes, black robes but they weren't nearly enough.

"OY!" I screamed loudly as a jet of green light flies past my head. Mulciber knowing he was found stepped out of the trees with a grin on his face. Even I had to admit he was handsome, but his personality and choice of friends ruined the attraction for me and for the simple fact that when I was younger he used to try and dance with me at the large pureblood parties.

"Mulciber, you are under arrest for the use of an unforgivable curse." I say my wand pointed directly at his throat.

"Ah Xeomara, there is only two of you. What makes you think I'll come easily?"

"You think you could take me and her?" Frank asks his cockiness getting to him. Mulciber doesn't answer instead he sends another jet of green light nearly missing Frank.

"Stupefy!" I scream in his direction but he blocks it. I stumble back from the curse. His wand now aimed at my chest.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" He shouts the same moment I shout "EXPELLIARMUS!" Red and green collide in midair and this time we both stumble back.

"Sectumsempra!" He shouts. I didn't block it in time and it the jet of light ripped through my clothes and through the skin on my arm, blood immediately started pouring down.

"Learned from Snivelly have you?" I ask coldly. "Ventusdium!" This was my absolute favorite spell. A huge gust of wind came from my wand wrapping around Mulciber. I heard his scream and I smiled victoriously as it begin twisting and twirling his body. I waved the spell off and I looked down at the unconscious Mulciber. "He shouldn't have played against me." I say with a little laugh. Frank rolls his eyes.

"Incarcerous!" Frank then yells and large chains come from his wand and wrap themselves around Mulciber. "Mobilicorpus!" His body is raised from the ground levitating in mid air.

"Expecto Patronum!" I shout and a large sliver tiger stands in front of me. "Moody we've have Mulciber. Follow the tiger." And with a wave of my wand the tiger starts rushing away from me. It's only gone for five minutes before it returns with Prongs and Moody.

"Excellent you two!" Moody bellows walking forward. "Wind spell?" He asks me. I nod. "Works everytime!"

"You're bleeding Stripes." James tells me.

"Something he picked up from Snivellous." I say waving him off.

"Well, Azkaban it is for him. I'll alert them and let them know you're bringing him in. Go home when you're finished, right the report from your houses it's passed your hours."

"Later then." I say with a wink. I turn on the spot apparating to the large prison surrounded completely by water, Frank appearing beside me.

"Aurors Xeomara Black and Frank Longbottom." I say to the witch at the desk. She nods her head and hands me a thick, long key. "Thank you."

"Hand the key back when you leave, dear." I nod my head. We started the long journey to the high security section of the prison. If I thought it was cold outside it was below zero in here, but I knew it was only because of the Dementors. My right hand shook madly, my wand almost falling from my hand. Frank said nothing but I could see Mulciber's body moving up and down because Frank seemed to be shaking as well. I could see all my bad memories start forming in my mind but I push them away. The force of it taking all my strength. Now not just my hand was shaking but my whole body. My body felt drained, like I'd never be happy again. I almost wanted to groan against the pain forming in my head. Finally we reached the cell; I tried and failed three times to unlock the door because of my shaking. On the fourth try it open and Frank then levitated the body into the cell. I shut and locked the door again. The walk back was quiet as well as I tried my best to stay conscious. We reached the desk in record time both of us had sped up trying to leave the place.

"H-Here." I said all but throwing the key at her. Without waiting for her we walked out the door, I breathed in a sigh of relief.

"I-I'll see y-you tomorrow." Frank says his teeth chattering. It was only then did I notice my own teeth were chattering.

"B-bye." I say quickly disapparating. Just like the cell, I couldn't get the key into the lock. After a few minutes I gave up and started banging on the door. Remus pulled open the door and took one look at me before dragging me into the house. I was shivering violently and my head was pounding. He quickly wrapped a heavy blanket around my shoulders and set me down on the couch. He left me in the living room and I could hear him bustling around in the kitchen over the sounds of my teeth colliding together. He came back into the living room at the same time the front door was opening. James walked in and just like Remus took one look at my shivering body and placed himself next to me and took me in his arms. Remus held in his hands and cup of tea and a large piece of chocolate.

"H-how did yo-you know?" He sat down next to me and wrapped his arms me as well, after placing the tea and chocolate on the table.

"James told me you caught Mulciber and that you were going to Azkaban." I nod my head. I shivered in both of their arms for a few more minutes before finally calming down. First my teeth stopped chattering and then my headache slowly faded and then the shivering ceased. They unwrapped their arms from around me and I moved the blanket off of my body, accepting the cup of tea and piece of chocolate from Moony.

"You alright?" Jimmy asks looking at me nervously.

"M'fine. I just wasn't used to the whole Azkaban thing. I hate it there." I bite into the chocolate and take a sit of the steaming tea letting it warm my body.

"Here let me heal this." Remus says taking my still bleeding arm. He ran his wand over it a few times muttering under his breath. When he was finished the bleeding had stopped and in it's place was another new scar.

"Wonderful. I'm completely hideous." I said glancing down at the scars on my body with disgust.

"You are not ugly, not even close." James protests.

"But what did you expect that you could go through all this without getting any scars. You act like we don't have any scars." Remus says. Well he's got me there. Remus has scars across his forehead and on his chin, along with covering his chest and back. James has quite a few on his arms and back and there is also one scar on his face that runs on the side of it.

"I know, it's just that I used to be pretty!"

"I knew you were still egotistical somewhere deep down." Moony says on a laugh. After that James, Remus, and I forgot all about the war and our problems and just hung out like we used to, laughing madly, drinking some fire whiskies, and joking around with each other.

The next thing I knew it was morning and I was in the middle of a sleeping Jimmy and Rem. A loud sound echoed through the apartment waking up both boys. We both looked around frantically, me holding my sore head. Damn hangovers. The door slammed open and Lily strode in.

"No note? No call? I call home and you weren't there!" Lily shouts. We all cringe at her tone. "What is wrong with you three? Hungover?" I grin sheepishly. "Oh honestly!" She says walking out of the room, all three of us just collapse back onto the bed. What could have been hours later she walks into the room carrying hangover tonic. I grimace as the vile taste slides down my throat but I feel instantly better.

"Sorry Lils, I came over because Zee went to Azkaban last night and then after she got settled we ended up talking and drinking and then next thing I knew you were here!" James says trying to console Lily. She shakes her head and kisses him quickly.

"I'm sorry I just got nervous."

"Perfectly understandable." I comment. "I just don't know how we made it from the living room to here."

"Not a clue." Remus puts in. James just shakes his head. Lily rips the covers off of us, with a smile.

"Alright you three get up, let's go out to breakfast."

**XX**

Mulciber's trial came the week after and naturally he was found guilty and thankfully I didn't have to go back to Azkaban just yet, Moody took him for me.

"Molly, just give me the boys." I say after Arthur led me into the living room. She was sitting on the couch, her stomach showing slightly even though she was now only in the middle of her fourth month, both of the twins were in her arms squirming and making noises. She looked dead, she had dark circles under her eyes and her face was paler than usual. She looks up and tries to sit up.

"Oh no, I'm fine dear." I roll my eyes and take Fred from her.

"Hey there Freddie, how it hanging little one?" He gives me a tug on my hair and small smile. I smile back and start bouncing him a little on my knee. "This one giving you more trouble?" I ask her. She yawns before answering.

"Yes, the worst yet. Even my first pregnancy wasn't this bad."

"He's going to be a trouble maker then." I decided.

"So sure it's not going to be a girl?" She asks with a teasing glint in her eye. I shake my head.

"Not a chance." I sit back on the couch, with a tired sigh. I had another long day at work, we've gone back to searching for Karkaroff and he's just too slippery to catch. "Thought of any names yet?" I ask after a few moments of silence.

"A few."

"Well?" I prompt.

"If it's a girl I was thinking Rose." I smile.

"That's a beautiful name."

"Arthur thought so too. And if it's a boy we were thinking Ronald." I nod my head.

"So either little Rosie or little Ronnie, yeah?" she nods.

"I was-" She stops as a loud bang sounds through the house.

"Xeomara!" Arthur shouts running into the room. "The death eaters, they're here right in the woods!" The second he says that Moody's patronus lands in front of me.

"Little Black, the woods by the Weasley's!" It shouts, before it fades. I hand the baby back to Molly just as Billy and Charlie enter the room.

"Molly take the boys upstairs, into the attack." I tell her. She stands up quickly, Bill takes one of the boys and starts running up the stairs, while Charlie takes the other.

"Molly, you are not coming!" Arthur shouts as she follows us to the kitchen door.

"Arthur!"

"Molly, go upstairs with the boys and lock the door." She nods at me and tears fall down her cheeks. Arthur kisses her deeply before running out the door.

"I'll look after him." I tell her kissing her cheek. When I step outside all I can smell is smoke. Then in the woods up ahead is fire, and lots of it. The trees were falling down and they were making their way up here. Could they have figured out this was head quarters? A few other's start apparating in front of us their wands out as we sprint. I see Dumbledore his wand waving, water shooting madly out of the tip. It knocked down many death eaters and starts putting the fire out. I run with my wand out shooting hexes and curses at passing death eaters.

"Zee!" I hear someone shout. I turn my head towards the sound of the voice and see Alice sprinting towards me.

"Where is everyone else?" I ask her. She shakes her head.

"Lost them in the fire." Two masked death eaters appear in front of us and Alice immediately shackles them together. I twirl my wand in the familiar motion I haven't used in quite a while, purple light shoot from my wand hitting them like a shield. Both men flew right into a large patch of fire screaming madly. Without even thinking twice about them burning I rush into the fire searching for my friends with Alice at my side. The fighting and cursing stopped then, and all the black cloaked figures started disapparating. Still run, I stop, but only because something large ran into me. I grimace and look up into the face of James. He offers and hand and pulls me up to my feet.

"Thanks." I mutter.

"You two alright?" He asks looking over Alice and I. We both nod, seconds later, Frank, Remus, and Lily run over.

"Oh thank Merlin you're alright!" Lily screams throwing herself at James and kissing him deeply. Frank and Alice do the same. I could tell Remus was thinking about Jade and he knew I was thinking of Sirius.

"We need to find Arthur." I tell him. He nods and we start looking through the unconscious bodies of death eaters and order members. Finally standing next to Dumbledore covered in soot was Arthur. I rush at him and hug him.

"I told Molly I'd watch you and then when I couldn't find you, I got nervous!" He pats my shoulder affectionately.

"It's alright."

"Xeomara, Remus." I look into the piercing blue eyes of my old Headmaster.

"Hello Albus." We both reply with a smile. "They had to of known."

"My thoughts exactly." Moody grumbles as he walks up to us. "Little Black I want you to round up all the death eaters and take them back to the department of mysteries, waiting for you there will be veritaserum. I've asked the other's to go as well. Find out what they were doing here and have the new recruits take them to Azkaban." I nod my head.

"Tell Molly I'll be over tomorrow, I-"

"No need you are to report back here when you are finished with what you have heard-"

"But the death eaters will-"

"Not return tonight." He answers. Without a word I start apparating death eaters quickly to the department of mysteries when I grab the last one I see, I return to the department along with him. When I arrived there my friends were waiting for me looking over at the faces of 10 death eaters. The trainees standing in the back. One of the death eaters I noticed was my cousin.

"Ah my dear cousin, how lovely to see you!" She sneers at me and starts screaming at me in french. Her tall body struggling to get out of the ropes. "We are in England dear, no need to try and be superior. She glares.

"What were you doing there tonight?" James voice bellows. No one answers. "Answer me!" He yells again.

"Why should we tell you Potter?" A short and stocky man asks with a glare. "You're a disgrace to the wizarding world, marrying that filth." Before James can react I lunge forward, the only sound made me was the sound of my fist hitting his face.

"Speak again about her like that again and I'll cut your tongue off." I warn. He opens his mouth again but I cut him off. "Since you want to talk so much, you can, I'm sure give us the answers we need."

"What makes you so sure?" He asks. There is a hiss of laughter running through the group.

"Because this filth has something in her hand that will make you spill your deepest secrets." Lily answers coldly stepping forward. She carries a little bottle in her hand. "Open up." She tells him. He spits in her face.

"OY!" Frank and James yell together.

"Won't open your mouth then?" She says. "Let's do it the hard way, Imperio!" She says her wand pointing at the death eater.

"I see how the ministry works cousin, you're allowed to use the unforgivable but we are not?" The man opens his mouth and Lily pours the potion into it. I ignore Maria.

"State your name!" James barks stepping closer.

"Thorfinn Rowle." He answers back.

"Do you know who we are?!" Frank shouts.

"Yes." He points at us each individually. "You are Frank Longbottom, Alice Longbottom, James Potter, Lily Potter, and Xeomara Black." I nod my head.

"What was your business tonight?" I ask him stepping closer.

"To find you." He says looking right at me. We all gasp in shock.

"Shut up you thickhead boy!" My cousin shouts. James waves his wand impatiently and suddenly everyone in the room is asleep except us and Rowle.

"You said you were looking for me?" I ask.

"Yes." He answers back.

"What exactly were your orders?" Alice asks.

"To capture you and bring you back to him." I shake my head.

"What exactly did Voldemort says pertaining to me?"

"Voldmort gave Yaxley orders to follow you around. He said you were getting too strong and too powerful. He also said he wanted you and that if you wouldn't comply that he would murder you himself. He said no one else was to do it, even though Bellatrix and Maria both volunteered for the job-"

"Get to the point what were you ordered to night!" Franks yells.

"I told you, bring her back to him."

"Where is he? Where is he?!" I scream.

"He's at a different place every time, we were to summon him."

"No doubt using this!" I say drawing back his left sleeve to look at the dark mark. I look away in disgust.

"You have been useful tonight." James comments.

"Shacklebolt!" I yell to the young black wizard. He was really the only trainee I knew by name.

"Mrs. Black." He says walking forward, using his deep calming voice.

"You and the other trainees are to take them to Azkaban." He nods his head, and starts turning away. I place a hand on his arm.

"Make sure you drink a cup of tea and eat a large piece of chocolate when you return home." I say in a softer voice.

"Yes Ma'am. Thank you," I nod my head.

"We need to head out." Alice says. I nod and turn on the spot. Without waiting for someone to answer the door we walk right in. I'm immediately engulfed in a tight hug by Molly. We take our seats at the table.

"Well?" Moody barks. All of us exchange looks.

"They wanted Zee, sir." Frank says looking up at Dumbledore nervously. James' and my eyes lock and our thoughts pour into each other's heads. He's nervous because they after me and I am too, now that it finally hit me. A loud gasp goes around the table. Remus grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly.

"Xeomara?" Dumbledore asks.

"He wants me to become a death eater, this time more than ever. If I refuse he's going to kill me." His eyes become sad.

"She'll have to go into hiding of course!" Molly shouts.

"I will not go into hiding! I have a job to do and-"

"This is your life we're talking about! Who cares about your job?!" She yells back.

"I do! And what life would I have if I go into hiding?" She looks down.

"You're in danger." I shake my head.

"We're all in danger." I have her there and she knows it.

"We cannot force her into hiding if she does not wish it." Albus says. I nod my head.

"For now, you will just have to be extra observant."

**XX**

The next two weeks bringing us the end of October (Halloween was tomorrow) were the most stressful weeks I've ever had. Firstly all my mates did was talk about how Voldmort had sent all his death eaters our just to capture me. Secondly I wasn't allowed to go anywhere alone. When I went to do patrolling, someone came with me, when I walked to another department in the ministry someone came with me. I wasn't even allowed to be at my house alone. I mean did they honestly think I couldn't handle myself? Here I had thought that life was finally getting back to normal.

"So what do you want to do tonight?" Remus asks when I returned from work.

"Well I was thinking our usual, eat candy-popcorn-chocolate,-hex each other-watch movies-talk about stupid stuff-kind-of-night was sounding pretty good." He broke out in a large grin.

"Stressful day?" I shook my head.

"More like stressful week." He nods his head.

"Alright go to our candy stash and I'll go make the popcorn." I nod my head as in walks into the kitchen and I walk over to the closet and take out our big box of candy. I place it on the floor just as I hear someone knocking.

"I'll get it!" I yell to Remus while walking to front door. I open it and my breath catches in my throat.

Sirius Black was standing in front of me his eyes roaming my face; I could feel his eyes looking over my scar, his gaze was so intense I was like I could almost feel him touching. I stared back at him in shock, what else could I do? I haven't seen him in half a bloody year, six whole months!

"Zee, I was just coming to- Oh." Remus says stopping dead behind me. Remus tugs on my arm pulling me backwards as Sirius walks in shutting the door behind him.

"Hey mate." Sirius says towards Remus. His voice still sounds the same, charming and low- just like his laugh.

"Hey, I'll just leave you two."

"Remus John Lupin don't you dare!" I say finally speaking up. Sirius gives him a pleading look. He walks over and hugs me.

"Forgive him Zee." He says in my ear and pulls back. "I'll be back, I promise." And with a crack he's gone.

"Traitor!" I scream even though I know he can't hear me. And then it's just us and I take this silent moment to look over him. He didn't get any taller than the last time I had seen him, his face was a little tanner, and his eyes were a little duller, and his hair a little longer. I also noticed a scar right below his temple. All in all he didn't look much different.

"Leave."

"Xeomara I-"

"Leave! Go back to France! I don't want you here!" I scream.

"But I-"

"Go back to those beautiful French girls! Leave Sirius! Just go!"

"Xeomara-"

"I HATE YOU!" I scream. He visibly flinches. "Dammit Sirius, I hate you!" I can feel a lump rising in my throat but I push it down, I will not cry in front of him. I watch him turn around and open the door; before he leaves he looks at me again.

"You deserve so much more than an apology." The door slams closed and I fall to the ground in a mess of tears. I was breathing heavy, and shaking, loud sobs coming from my throat. No more than two minutes later the door burst open again and Remus and James barge in. Without a word they are at my side in seconds. James lifts me effortlessly into his arms and carries me into the bedroom.

"Shh, Maurie. It's alright." He says laying me down on the bed. They both lay down beside me and curl into my side, Remus was stroking my hair and James had a death grip on my hand. None of us said anything because really what was there left to say. Like I said before, I thought I was getting back on track and then I was targeted by the death eaters and then my husband- ex-husband- whatever the hell he is, came back. Maybe it was just wishful thinking.


	54. Merlin Knows Why

**I own nothing but my OC'S! Thanks for the reviews everyone! Sorry for the wait I was down the shore!!**

Chapter fifty four- Merlin Knows Why.

A loud bang on the door sounds through my ears causing me to stir out of my sleep. I try to roll over to read the clock but I'm stuck in the middle of James and Remus who are squishing me. The loud knock sounds again. I push James on the floor who lands with a loud thump and step right over him and towards the front door. I pull it back and there stands before me is Mad-Eye.

"Moody, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" He steps forward causing me to move back into my flat. I shrug my shoulders and shut the door behind him.

"Little Black, how fast can you be ready?" Is the first thing he says to me. I rub my eyes listening to the faint sounds of James and Remus talking.

"What time is it?" He looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"2 in the morning, but that's beside the point, go get dressed I need you." I start walking towards my bedroom.

"I'll get dressed while you fill me in." James was now back on the bed sitting up as was Remus.

"What the hell, it's 2 in the fuc- Hey Moody." Moody grunts in greeting. I take out a pair of black skinny jeans and start sliding down my sweat pants.

"So tonight I was- What the bloody hell are you doing Black!" Moody yells. I stop, where I was pulling up my pants mid thigh.

"Getting dressed?" He rolls his eyes. "Just fill me in would you?"

"Fill you in for what?" Moony asks.

"I'm needed apparently, now stop interrupting." I start pulling up my pants again while Moody starts,

"Tonight Karkaroff was spotted in the woods that border line France and England." I nod my head as I slip on a tight long sleeved black tee shirt. "He, according to what I've been told, tortured two muggles that saw him walking around. These muggles have been cured and their memories wiped but the ministry is having a fit and they want him caught."

"Well then let's go." He looked over my outfit from where he stood in the door way.

"You're not wearing that." James comments.

"Jimmy?"

"It's freezing you'll get sick." I roll my eyes.

"Oh bugger off, I'll owl you when I get home." They nod their heads while I kiss both of them good-bye. "Under no circumstances is Sirius Black ever allowed to enter my home, do you understand?"

"Yes I-"

"Black is back?" Moody interrupts.

"Tonight." He looks now studies my face and I feel his gaze lingering on what was probably my red swollen eyes.

"Let's get a move on Little Black." He throws a knife at me as we start walking out of the bedroom that I catch effortlessly. He also hands me a bag that I knew was filled with an assortment of potions, extra wands, and dittany. I shrunk it as we were walking out the door and stuck it in my pocket. I shiver against the night air as we walk down the flight of steps and into the alley was so we could apparate. He grabs my arm and spins the spot. With a jerk I land on the out skirts of a forest. We look at each other and nod before stepping into the forest. It was almost completely dark but we didn't light out wands not wanting to cause attention. We relied on our hearing and such to detect sounds. After about a half hour we nod again which means to split up. I took the left side and he took the right.

I wipe the sleep out of my puffy eyes again. I'm guessing we fell asleep sometime after my crying stopped. I was still shocked that he was gone for six months and then just like that he shows up at my door. _How dare he?_ _How dare he do that to me? _ Remus told me to forgive him, but how could I? How could I when he just left me, like it didn't matter to him, like almost three years didn't matter? How could-

"Imagine how the dark lord would reward me." I hear a voice says from behind me with a thick accent. I stiffen and turn to face the man I've been hunting for months, and this time I wasn't letting him get away. Before I fully turned around a spell hit me in the chest and I flew sideway's into a tree, my neck instantly started throbbing. I straighten myself up gritting my teeth.

"Reward you for what?" I ask calmly.

"For your death of course, I failed so many months ago with Rosier and Travers, but I won't this time." I eye him, he was frail, most likely from being on the run from so long, and he looked weak. I could take him, I was better at defensive spells then he was dark arts.

"Shall we duel then?" I ask twirling my wand between my fingers. He seems nerved by my calmness. He doesn't answer my question but soon there are three jets of purple light streaking my way. With a casual wave of my wand I deflect it, sending him tumbling towards the ground, and I couldn't help it, I laughed. What a perfect way to work of my frustrations on my husband then to duel a dark wizard? I wait patiently for him to stand up.

"Ventusdium!" but he counters it by shouting, "Incedio Maxima!" The fire and the wind mix and explode sending us both flying back. I could feel burns erupting on my skin, but I ignored it and used a spell Albus had taught me, I swished my wand and suddenly there was water everywhere circling and extinguishing the fire. When it clears I see him standing there waiting for me, his robes signed and his face black.

"Avada Kedarva!" He shouts the green jet of light comes towards me, but at the last second I leap out of the way shouting, "Impedimenta!" The spell slows him down and he falls backwards. I laugh again, but my laughing dies short when he screams, "Expelliarmus!" I feel my wand leaving my fingertips and I stare in shock as it falls into his out stretched hand from where he was kneeling on the ground. I did the only thing I could do, ignoring the fact that he know had to wands I rushed at him and tackled him on the ground. We began struggling, and I growled when he landed a punch on my eye.

"You really aren't like your family, you're muggle fighting dear." He taunts, enraged I elbow him in the face. After awhile and many punched received on both ends I got my finger around his hand and snapped his wand in two, now he wasn't playing around anymore. He pushed his feet up and kicked me hard in the stomach; I flew back a few feet, clutching my stomach. "What to do now, little girl?" He had my wand pointed at my chest. A blinding light came towards me as he hit me with a stinging jinx. "Petrificus Totalus!" My whole body locks up and I can't move, no matter how hard I try. I can't even scream, and it was then that I remember the extra wand I held in my pocket. I was so mad and angry at Sirius and worrying about taking out my frustrations that I bloody forgot! I feel a foot come down on my nose and a loud crunching noise. I want to scream out in pain as my nose shatters, but I can't. I then feel various other kicks to my arms, legs, stomach, and finally another crushing blow to the head.

"Hey boy!" I hear a voice scream.

"Moody!" I yell, but of course he can't hear me. The last thing I hear is the sound of laughing before his boot connects with my head again, and finally I pass out.

XX

"Mrs. Black?" A hear a voice ask, it sounded like it was coming from the end of a tunnel so far away. "Mrs. Black?" it asks again and I feel that it is coming closer until finally. "Mrs. Black!" and my eye pop open. The first thing I see is a very white, very familiar ceiling, then I see the white walls, and then I think, _oh bloody hell, I landed myself in the hospital again!_

"Ah, Mrs. Black finally coming too." I groan and lay my head back on the pillow, I hate hospitals. "I'm Mr. Leslie." He says and I see a hand in my line of vision, I automatically reach out with my own hand and shake his. "You've been asleep for quite a while, we had to I'm sorry."

"What?" I ask, honestly, what in the bloody hell was this bloke talking about.

"You were brought in my Alastor Moody at around 4 this morning, but you started waking up when we tried healing you and well you had a fit and demanded that we leave you alone and let you go back to your house. When we wouldn't you, how you got the strength I'm not sure, hit one the healers in the face, and we needed to heal you so I poured sleeping draught down your throat." I sit up then and stare at the man who seemed to be in his late forty's.

"Oh, um sorry?" I say. "I don't really like hospitals." He nods.

"Yes, well if you let us heal you earlier, you wouldn't have had to stay here all day." I grin sheepishly at my stupidity. "But never the less, you are going to be released now. I contacted your family, and someone is on their way." I nod my head.

"So what exactly happened to me?" He looks at the paper he's holding.

"A few broken ribs, a shattered nose, a cracked skull, broken arm, dislocated shoulder, and a bruised neck." My eyes widen in shock and I reach my hand out to touch my nose. "You're all healed up now Mrs. Black. Someone should be- oh here he comes now." Well it was either, Frank, Remus, or James they would never send-

"Sirius?!" I ask in shock as he enters the room.

"Hello Mr. Black, she's ready to leave now, I trust you signed the papers."

"Yes, thank you." He turns to me then.

"What are you doing here?!" I demand.

"Picking you up, now let's go." I narrow my eyes and swing my legs over the side of the bed, the second my feet land on the floor, I start to sway only to be caught by Sirius.

"Easy dear, you'll still be a bit dizzy from the draught." I angrily shove him off of me.

"I'll be fine walking on my own." I tell the doctor, and him.

"Yes, but-"

"Thank you for healing me, good bye." I say stalking out of the door, hoping I keep my footing. I walk right passed the all the other doors, and into the elevator, I don't wait for Sirius but press the button for the bottom floor and descend, but by the time I make it down there, Sirius is standing by the doors waiting for me.

"Steps." He explains. I grit my teeth. Without warning he grabs my arm and turns on the spot. We land inside the penthouse and I immediately rip my arm from his and step away from him glaring.

"I am going to kill those boys!" I shout. "Who do they think they are sending you to come get me?!"

"Oh would you shut up!" I open my mouth in shock.

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me. I want you to be quiet and let me explain."

"No, get the hell out of my house!"

"It is my house too you know, we bought it together."

"That was stupid of me." I mumble. He glares. "Don't you understand Sirius, I hate you! I hate you!" I yell and I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. "Don't you see what you've done to me?! Do you have any idea what you leaving did to me?! Any at all?! Merlin you are so selfish! I thought you had changed! I grew up with you Sirius you were my best friend but everyone knew how much of a player you were to girls, but when we got together I thought it would be different, I thought after almost three years you would be different! But of course you weren't! What did you get bored of me? Decide to go shag some French girls? I'm sorry I'm not pretty enough for you, and I'm sorry I'm not exactly the happy go lucky type of girl, or the dumb ditsy types that you usually date. But I at least deserved a note, or some sort of good bye!" By this time, the tears were falling thickly down my face. I groan loudly, and stare at him. He was looking completely shocked and dare I say angry, his eyes were burning with anger and his lips were thinned.

"You think I left you because I got bored of you?! Or because you weren't pretty enough?! What the fuck is your problem?!" He yells.

"You!" I scream. "You are my problem! And I don't think, I know!" I say stubbornly.

"And you say I didn't change?! You didn't either, you are still as stubborn as you were the day I met you. You only think what you want to think, why you would ever think that I left you because I was bored, I don't know. After three years of course you meant something to me! For fuck's sake you still do! I never got bored of you!"

"Oh that's rich, lie your way out of it." He takes a step forward but thinks better of it and stops.

"I didn't shag any French girls; I didn't even go there for that reason. And them, better looking than you? Don't make me laugh."

"I wasn't trying to." He shakes his head.

"You are the most beautiful girl I ever met in my entire life, you _are_ my perfect girl. Why the hell would you think differently?"

"Look at my face!" I cry. "Look it at!"

"I am." He tells me, "What's wrong with it?"

"Uh! You are so infuriating! Do you not see how ugly it is, with all the scars?!" I shake my head. "That doesn't even matter, if I was perfect for you then why did you leave?!" He stops dead. "Why did you leave?" When he doesn't answer I pull out my wand that I retrieved from the front desk. I shoot a bat boogey hex his way but he blocked it sending me flying back into the wall. He then walked towards me and once he got close enough I took two steps off the wall and raised my right hand to punch him, he caught my wrist easily, and he did the same with my left when I tried punching him and then we just stared at each other. His eyes portrayed everything, hate, anger, passion, love, lust, sadness, regret, and I expect my eyes were saying the same. And then it all got too much, and our lips crashed on each other's as he slammed me up against the wall. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist not breaking the smoldering kiss. He cupped everywhere, my back, my legs, my bum, my breasts. My hands were trailing up and down his back and I could feel him shivering underneath me. We tumbled back onto the ground with a loud thump that I knew must have hurt, he growled but not from the pain. I broke my mouth away from his and started sucking furiously at his neck. I pulled away after he started fumbling with my shirt that I now just noticed it wasn't mine, but his. He pulled the large black teeshirt over my head, exposing my naked chest. Without thinking I reached over and tugged his shirt off as well. He pulled my mouth back down to his, running his hand through my hair while mine rubbed his chest, I broke my mouth from his again and kissed all the way down from his neck to his stomach and back up, his stomach muscles clenching after each kiss. I chuckled deep in my throat and he growled at me again, and roughly flipped me over so he was laying on top of me. Without warning he slipped my sweat pants off my legs, when they reached my ankles I kicked them off, while he decided to tease me the same way I had done to him. I moaned a little and started working at the belt and button on his jeans. I slid them down, and he did the rest of the work. Finally I arched my back as his hand brought my head up to kiss him again. I sucked and bit on his bottom lip, while he pushed into my, not once breaking the kiss. Nothing would ever compare to this night, no matter how many times we have sex, nothing would ever compare to this.

The next thing I knew I was waking up in bed still naked with my head on his chest and his arms securely around my waist.

"Finally awake?" He asks. We both shift so we're facing each other but his arms are still wrapped around me and my fingers are playing with his silky locks. I nod my head. "I told you before love, you deserve so much more than an apology, but I am really sorry. But did you not think it would be hard for me too? I left- I left because I was scared." My eye brows furrow in confusion.

"Scared?" He laughs a little bit.

"Yeah, I couldn't lose you. What if you died like Jade had, and what if I had to watch? I just didn't even want to think about that happening so I thought if I left then I wouldn't even have to go through that. I was stupid, so terribly stupid but I wasn't thinking logically at the time. I had just lost a best friend, I was grieved and stupid. There is really nothing else I can say but I love you." I tried to dig up some anger but all of it was washed away. Remus' words rang through my ears _forgive him_, and I was going to do just that because really, I can't picture myself without him.

"Promise me you won't leave again." I say staring into his eyes that were filled with regret. "Well unless we have an agruement, then I give you permission because we do usually get out of hand when we have those." I add on with a smile. He closes his eyes and breathes in a sigh of relief.

"I promise, and the same goes to you." I smile at him and feel tears welling up in my eyes.

"I love you." And it felt so good to say it again.

"Say it again." I laugh, not this again.

"I love you."

"And again."

"I love you, now would you stop making me say that and just kiss me." He chuckles and pulls my mouth towards his and kisses me once, twice, thrice on the mouth softly. He removes his arms from around me and pulls something out of the drawer beside him.

"James gave me this today." He says, I sit up and look at my ring he was holding in the palm of his hand.

"I slammed it down on the table when I found out you left; it was before I disappeared to the burrow for the day. James had a fit when he found me." Sirius smiles faintly. "I was hoping I didn't lose it."

"You didn't." He says as he slips it back on my finger where it belongs. He then reaches his finger out and runs it down the scar on my eye softly. "They lied to me."

"What?"

"They told me you all that happened was you were stabbed in the back and they said you were healed quickly. If I had known how bad it was, I would have come back sooner. You were tortured with a knife; if that bastard was still alive I march right into Azkaban and kill the son of bitch." I take his hand off of my scar and into my own.

"Moody killed him, and I was in bed for so long. I couldn't leave, Remus wouldn't let me. And even if you did come back I doubt we would have had a great make up like we did earlier, I wouldn't have been able to move." He laughed loudly, my laughter joining his. "What time is it?" I ask suddenly.

"Eight." I look at him in shock.

"I slept all night after that?" he nods.

"It was probably stupid for us to do that anyway, you had just gotten out of the hospital, and oh yeah." He says. I raise an eye brow. "One, I got my job back, two Moody caught him and Igor Karkaroff is now in Azkaban." I grin madly. "He looked right beat up when I saw him, burns all over his face, broken nose, bloody lip."

"Well he took my wand and I sort of tackled him." I say sheepishly. He rolls his eyes and takes me back into his arm. I nuzzle his neck and lay my head there. I just breathe in the scent I've missed, and I place a kiss there.

"Merlin knows why, but I really do love you." I tell him. His laugh rings off the walls again.

XX

"Jamsie!" I yell as I walk through his front door later that day, my hand intertwined with Sirius'.

"Merlin Maurie!" He yells walking out of the kitchen and throwing himself at me. "Stop going to bloody hospital!"

"It wasn't by choice James." I snap. "I hate that damn place."

"Oh quit arguing you two!" Lily yells walking through the kitchen door and smiling widely. "And James if you weren't so worried you would have noticed that those two are holding hand and her ring is back on her finger." Lily grins at me and hugs and kisses both me and Sirius.

"So how'd you guys get back together?" Sirius and I exchange a look, and then both start cracking up. They stare at us for a moment wondering what the hell was so funny.

"Do you guys really want to know?" Sirius asks with raised eye brows.

"Uh gross!" James yells. "Come on Sirius, she's my bloody sister!" This time Lily and I start laughing.

"That is really gross Sirius; I don't need any mental images." Frank says walking in the room with Moony and Alice behind me. He hugs Sirius. "Nice to see you mate." And kisses my forehead. "For merlin's sake, be careful." He tells me, after sitting down on the couch.

"So am I kicked out of my house?" Remus asks laughing.

"Of course not!" Sirius and I snap simultaneously.

"Just asking!" He yells holding up his hand. I start laughing, then stop when I realized something.

"Where's Wormy?"

"He's not coming back." My eyes widen. Peter not coming back? He's been my friend for years. What the hell? "He's going to floo back for all the meeting and such and he said he'll come visit occasionally." I frown. Sirius lifts up my chin with his fingers. "He likes it there."

"I don't care." I grumble. At the same time Frank says, "I have no clue why." James rolls his eyes.

"I'm gonna miss the little rat." Now I roll my eyes.

"Honestly Jimmy!"

"What?" He asks confused.

"Never mind."

"So, what should we do tonight?" Sirius asks. The James, Sirius, and I look at each other and grin identically.

"Oh no, not this again."

"Hogsmeade!"

"No, aboslut- What? Hogsmeade?" Lily asks us. We just grin at her and nod our heads. "I expected something like, stealing a car, or jumping off a cliff into the lake, or pranking someone, or sneaking into Hogwarts, but hogsmeade?" We look at each other again and exchange looks.

"Flower," I start.

"You just gave us-" Sirius says, while James finishes,

"A wonderful idea." She looks up at the ceiling, while everyone else starts laughing and mutters,

"Why me?"


	55. Of Course

**I own nothing but my OC'S! I want to apologize again for lack of updates I was down the shore on vacation again! But I'm back and I'll also being trying to update my other stories as well! Sorry!**

**XX**

Chapter fifty five- Of Course.

-**Sirius' POV-**

"Darling!" Xeomara calls from the living room.

"Hmm?"

"We've got a wedding invitation!"

I finish putting my pants on and open the door. Zee was sitting on the couch with her feet tucked underneath her, her hair back to her natural length and a sad smile on her face.

"Who's love?"

"Aubrey's." I gesture with my hands for her to continue. "Aubrey Williams."

I stop dead, and my blood runs cold.

"Reggie's Aubrey?"

She turns her head away from me and I see her forehead crease. I walk over to the couch and sit down. She lays her head back and places it on her lap. My one hand takes the letter she's holding, while my other goes to stroke her hair.

_Dear Zee,_

_It's been a while since we've seen each other, yeah? Regulus' death was tough on you and even after you seemed to get over it, I just never found the right time to thank you. I know it's been almost three years now but I figured now was a good as time as any. You did so much for him, more than anyone else had. What I'm about to say to you may come as a shock, but trust me when I say I am still every bit in love with Reg as I was my sixth year. I'm getting married. It's a complete marriage of conveyance. He's a childhood friend who lost his fiancé and well….. I lost Reg. I don't love him even remotely as much as Regulus or even the same type of love, but this works for me; it works for both of us. Our parents are happy, and we're happy with each other. I knew I was never going to find anyone else, so I figured why not. His name is Jason Stewart and he's wonderful. _

_I tried owling you sooner but every time I looked you up, you were somewhere unknown, like the four months you stayed in France and then you're friend died and I never knew where to find you. The wedding is in three days and I know its sort notice but I'd love for you and Sirius to come. The wedding is being held at my family home right near the Diggery's. It starts at one. I'll understand if you can't make it because I'm sure you've been quite busy. You've made an excellent Auror out of yourself or so I read in the paper. I could also understand if you'd feel uncomfortable coming. Well I really have to get back to some last minute details, so please consider it._

_Love,_

_Aubrey Williams._

"Well." I say placing the letter down and placing my other hand through her hair as well.

"We can go can't we?" She asks, looking up at me with her big blue eyes.

I nod my head yes.

"Thank you!" She says hoping up and throwing her arms around my neck, kissing me lightly on the lips. I roll my eyes at her enthusiasm but relish in the feeling of her being back in my arms. The night after we got back together, naturally we did go out with our friends and even Lily had a fun time despite sneaking into the castle. Though Zee and I still had many things to work out, like the fact that she was being closely watched more than ever by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. And the fact that her for six months. But it's December now and everything worked out.

"Sirius?"

I shake my head from my thoughts and look down at Zee who laid her head in my lap again.

"I'm tired." She whines.

I roll my eyes and chuckle a little bit.

"Go on then, sleep." She rolls over and my fingers return to her hair gently brushing through. Then softly, she mumbles.

"I love you."

XX

"You look fine!" I tell her for the hundredth time that day.

She scrunches her nose up.

"I look downright huge." I laugh. "Don't laugh! It's not funny Sirius! I gained like twenty pounds!"

"Exaggeration." I point out because she did not gain anywhere near twenty pounds, if we want to be technical it was like five, but I'm not about to tell her that. She'll cry and think she looks bad. But I find it kind of cute, it's not like she looks fat. She just looks healthier than before, I always said she was too skinny.

"Love, you look beautiful."

She places her hands on her stomach and sighs loudly. "Let's just go inside now."

She leads me inside and to where everyone is sitting down on the chairs. I sit down next to her and grab her hand and squeeze it.

"Are you okay?" I ask as her one hand starts shaking slightly. "Zee?"

She shakes her head. "Oh me? I'm fine Sirius."

"Sure you are, what's bothering you?"

She bites her lip and looks down at our joined hands.

"This should be Reg's wedding."

There is nothing I can say to that so I just squeeze her hand.

The wedding went great and Aubrey looked beautiful, Reg would have been so happy. Zee cried during the wedding which in turn made me laugh a bit, but I shut up when she hit me in the back of the head rather hard.

"It was beautiful Sirius, and you're just a romance hater!" I roll my eyes.

"When have you ever cared about stuff like this?" Her eyes brow furrow.

"Hmm, good question."

"Zee!" I turn around and see Aubrey running towards us. She throws her arms around Zee who hugs her back tightly.

"You look beautiful Aubrey! It was a beautiful wedding." Aubrey pulls back and a few tears fall down her cheek.

"Tell me, that he wouldn't be mad at me." She says then, staring right into Zee's eyes which glazed over a little bit.

"Aubrey, Reggie would be happy that you're happy."

Aubrey takes in a deep breath and sighs.

"Thank you for coming."

"Zee we have to get going." I tell her, grabbing her hand.

"I'll see you later Aubrey, we'll catch up." The girl nods and kisses Zee's cheek.

"Yes we will."

"Thank you, I needed to get out of there." Zee says once we get out of the house.

"No problem love." I say pulling her towards me and kissing her deeply. She responds with the kiss by wrapping her arms around me and mine got to her hips.

"Mmm, let's walk to Molly's." She says as we pull back.

"I don't know honey, is it really safe?"

She narrows her eyes and rips her hand from mine.

"I'll see you at home then." She says walking away very quickly.

"Zee!" I say running after her and grabbing her arm. "Wait, I meant is it safe for you?"

"I know Sirius." She says while pulling herself away from my grip. "That's why I walked away; I'm perfectly capable on my own."

I catch her arm again and run my hand down it til my fingers are intertwined with hers.

"I'm sorry love, forgive me?"

A smile twitches around her lips,

"Of course."

XX

-**Xeomara's POV-**

"I feel horrible!" I moan while sitting at Lily's Christmas night. "Alice it's all your fault!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get you both sick."

As we speak, Lily, Alice, and I are all laying down in my bed and we all are indeed sick. Alice started throwing up first, then I did, then Lily and it's been like that for two days.

"Hey!" James says walking into the room. "What are you guys doing?"

We all sit up quickly. "Girl talk!" I blurt out. They would be so worried if I told them that we were sick, and well then we couldn't exactly go to work could we? I mean it's just a stomach flu.

"Oh well, I guess I'll just leave you guys to it then." The second her walks out the door we flop down on the bed. A familiar turning in my stomach brings me sitting up again and sprinting towards the bathroom. I lean over the toilet and throw, whatever else was left in my stomach, up. I flush the toilet and groan, laying my head on the cold toilet seat.

"You alright in there?" Lily calls to me.

"Yeah!" I call back bringing myself into a standing position and walking back into the bedroom. "Dinner didn't taste any better coming up." I mutter.

They girls both laugh. "They didn't do such a good job did they?" Lily asks, referring to the boys making our Christmas dinner.

"Not at all." Alice says, breathing deeply.

"You know, maybe getting sick isn't so bad." I start. "Maybe I'll lose a couple of a pounds." I finish while looking at my stomach the looks bigger then it normally does.

"Yeah, I always eat a lot around the holidays, so maybe you're right." Alice says looking down at her stomach that didn't look fat to me, but whatever.

"I just-Shit!" Lily says getting up and running towards the bathroom. I cover my ears with my hands as she throws up loudly into the toilet.

"Uh." I hear Alice moan from beside me. Lily comes back and lays next to me again.

"Love."

I turn towards the door and see Sirius leaning casually against it in all black, his arms crossed against his chest.

"You ready to go?" I nod my head and sit up.

"Good bye, I'll owl you tomorrow. We can talk again." Both girls grin at me, before I turn around and start walking towards Sirius who puts and arm around me and call his good bye's to the girls as well.

"James! Remus! Frank!" I hear a muffled of yeah's back. "I'm leaving!"

"BYE!" They chorus. I raise an eye brow.

"We might have been drinking." Sirius informs me. I shrug my shoulders. He grabs my hand and turns on the spot. I feel suffocated for a few minutes before landing in our flat. My stomach rolls and I try breathing deeply to control the nausea.

"Are you okay?" I feel like that's all he's been asking me lately.

"I'm fine, just tired." And I feel like that's all I've been answering lately, but I was tired. I drug my feet over to our bedroom and quickly undressed in to something more comfortable and climb into bed. Before I knew it Sirius was climbing in next to me. He move all the way over and lays his head on my shoulder while he runs his fingers lightly on my stomach. I resist the urge to yell at him to stop. I didn't exactly like him to look at me naked these days, not until I lose weight.

"I love you." Sirius says quietly into my shoulder. I close my eyes and a smile plays across my lips.

"I love you too."

"You would tell me if something's wrong with you right?" My eye brows furrow in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, just go to sleep." I bite my lip and close my eyes again letting the light feeling of his fingers on my stomach lull me to sleep.

It felt like I'd only been asleep for a few hours before I'm waking up with my stomach rolling. I push Sirius off of me and start running towards the bathroom.

"Zee?"

He calls after me, but I just kneel down in front of the toilet and throw up violently into it. I feel a hand rubbing my back and my hair being pulled back. I groan and reach my hand up to the flush the toilet. Beads of sweat collect themselves on my forehead and my skin feels burning hot.

"Love?" Sirius asks gently, stroking my hair. "Come on." He says lifting me into his arms and carrying me back over to the bed.

"I'm-"

"Black! Little Black!" I turn my head and see Moody's Patronus. "Death Eaters are in the department of mysteries. We need you!" It disappears just as I'm jumping up and throwing new clothes on.

"Maybe you shouldn't go." Sirius says, while he gets dressed as well.

"What?!"

"Well you were just throwing up and I-"

"They need me." I protest, throwing my black tee shirt over my head. I hold my hand out and Sirius takes it. I spin on the spot and land directly outside the ministry.

"Frank!" I yell, as he runs towards me, Alice on his heels.

"Zee? Sirius?" I hear James call.

"Listen just everyone grab you partners and GO!" Moody yells. I kiss Sirius on the lips before taking Franks hand and running towards the entrance. Instead of taking the elevators Frank and I take the stairs, running at full speed down them. Lily and Alice took the other set of stairs and Sirius and James took the elevator.

"Okay, which door?" I whisper as we get to the lower level. I see Alice and Lily out of the corner of my eye from the opposite direction.

"This one!" He says as he pushes open a door, and then we're on a landing with a set of steps leading down to the rooms, and Sirius and James are already there.

"Anything?" They ask.

"Not one damn thing." Lily and Alice are walking in then.

It's quiet as we all just stand there on the landing, when I hear something from behind me. My head turns with the sound creating a shield charm as I do. A jet of purple light is thrown away from me.

"Well, look what we have here." Lucius taunts. He lands directly in front of me with a large smile on his face.

"Ah look my dear sweet cousin is here." Bellatrix says landing next to him.

"And mine as well." My cousin Maria says from behind her mask. And then suddenly there are at least ten of them, landing around us. My eyes search their faces for a sign of recognition but I don't recall any of them, but the first three.

"Hello Maria." I say, speaking up first.

"Yes, we haven't seen each other in quite a while, have we?"

"I guess not." I say while fingering my wand. "But then again it's not exactly a bad thing is it?"

"Well, I know your mother has been dying to see you. But then agai-"

"Enough Maria." Malfoy commands. She smirks.

"You're right!" She points her wand at Frank who was standing right at the top step. I make up my decision in a split second. I throw myself in front of Frank as the spell goes off. It hits me in my chest as I hear more screaming erupts and I fly backwards down the stairs, the last sound I hear is the sound of my body hitting the floor.

XX

My eyes blink open and again their staring at a white ceiling.

"Why?" I say loudly, rubbing my eyes.

"You're awake!" Sirius says loudly, and suddenly he's there smoothing my hair back and kissing my forehead. "How do you feel?"

"Like I got ran over by one of those muggle things what are they called again?"

"Car?"

"Yes, that's it." He smiles and lifts me up in his arms.

"Where are we going?"

"The healer told me to bring you into Lily's room when you're awake so he can talk to us all at the same time. Said it would be easier."

"Lily's hurt? Is she okay?" He rubs my cheek.

"She's fine now, and Alice was hurt too. We were just waiting on you." He pulls open a door and I see Lily laying down, with Alice sitting on Frank's lap in a chair and James next to Lily. Sirius places me down on the edge of Lily, and places his hand in mine.

"Lily, Alice? Are you guys okay?"

"I'm worried about you, I just got hit with a stunner-"

James cuts off Lily, "Four stunners at one time." He corrects.

"You flew down a whole flight of stairs." Lily finishes as if he didn't interrupt her. I cringe.

"I just got hit with some weird curse." Alice says with a shrug. "I'm fine now."

"That's good." But it wasn't my voice that said it instead it was healer-

"Mr. Leslie?"

"Ah Xeomara Black, I haven't seen you for at least two months." I try and shrug my shoulders sheepishly.

"Okay well I have some good news and bad news."

"W-what?" Lily asks nervously.

"Well all of you three are okay, no ever lasting damage." He begins. "You actually can all leave tonight, though there's something else." He stops and looks at Lily and Alice. "Lily Potter and Alice Longbottom you are both three months pregnant." Their eyes widen in shock, but they don't say anything. "Xeomara, you were three months pregnant as well but the fall you took….the baby didn't make it." It was quiet to quiet for a moment, while I just stared at him. I felt Sirius rip his hand from mine and I watched as he walked out the door and didn't once look back. The only thing I could think of at that moment was _of course, of course it was me._


	56. Soon

Chapter fifty six- Soon.

-**James' POV-**

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. Maurie lost her baby? What kind of sick world was this?

"I'd advise for you to stay in bed for a least a week. Losing a baby is a tiring experience. I'm very sorry."

"Did you know what it was?" Maurie calls after him.

"A girl." Healer Leslie says with an incline of the head before heading back out the door.

My eyes go to her face, and mine aren't the only ones. Sensing this she stands up very shaky on her legs.

"I'm fine, honestly. You guys are allowed to be happy. It's an amazing thing, Congratulations." And then she's stumbling out of the room and back into hers.

"James." Lily says brining my eyes back to her face. She was crying, and her hands were shaking. I looked and saw that Alice was crying too, even Frank.

"This is all my fault. If she didn't jump-"

"Frank, she's not going to be mad at you. This is not your fault."

"James!" Lily yells. I look to her. "Go after your sister." I kiss her forehead and I get off the bed and leave my pregnant wife, I wasn't going to do to Maurie's room yet. I, was going after Sirius.

I found him on the last floor, "Sirius!" His head whirls around and he walks over to me.

"You can't just leave her in there Sirius! She just lost her baby, your baby!"

"Exactly _she _lost our baby." I just stared at him. "I'm going home James." Anger boils up inside me and before I know it I raised my hand and punched him around the face.

"You bastard, go ahead Sirius leave. I'll pick up the pieces for you just like we had to do last time."

He places his hand to his lip which was bleeding before turning away. I watched as he ran into Moony and pushed passed him angrily.

"Prongs!" Moony says running up to me. "James what happened?"

"Xeomara lost the baby."

"Wait- What? She was pregnant?"

"They all are, well in Zee's case was." Moony stares at me and his eyes water.

"Lily and Alice are pregnant." I nod my head. "Oh Zee, is she okay?"

I shake my head. "She acted like she was but I know better. Sirius only heard that he lost the baby before he left. He didn't say a word just got up and left."

"Dammit!" Remus curses. He pinches the bridge of his nose and breathes deeply. "Show me to her room?"

"Yeah, come on."

The first thing I heard before I opened her door was crying. I pushed it open quickly. Maurie was curled up on her side facing the wall, her shoulders shaking. I rushed over to her as did Remus.

"Zee? Love?" He says sitting on the edge of her bed stroking her hair, while I went on the front side of her and looked into her face. Her thought poured into my head and I had to blink back tears from the pain she felt.

"I just got him back!" She cries. "And he left me! Again!"

"I-"

"Mr. Potter?" I turn my head into the direction of the door and see Healer Leslie standing there.

"I'll be right back, sweetheart." I tell her kissing her forehead.

"Yes?" I say once I get outside the door.

"Mr. Black is he coming back or-"

"I'll sign the papers. I'm taking her home with me." I say cutting him off.

"Very well then." I take the paper he's holding and quickly sign my name on the bottom. I hand it back to him as he hands me the release papers for Lily. I sign them as well.

"Okay well you guys are good to go. Make sure she stays in bed for a week. It's not just physically tiring but she'll be drained emotionally for a while. Keep a close eye on her."

"I will; thank you." I walk away, going into my room.

"Lily, love." I say kissing her cheeks. "I'm happy." I tell her. "Really I am."

She shakes her head. "You're not James, and that's okay. How can I expect you to be happy when you're sister lost her baby."

"I do want this baby though, Lils." She smiles and kisses my forehead.

"I do too."

"I'm brining Maurie home with us, Sirius left. He's- he's so angry." Her eyes turn sad. "I punched him in the mouth." I admit feeling guilty.

"Oh James, honey." She says running her fingers through my hair. "He'll forgive you. But right now I want to go to Sirius'."

"I do too." Alice chimes in.

"What?" Frank and I ask in unison.

"Well, we're pregnant. Maybe it would be better if we weren't around Zee at first and besides Sirius needs someone too. It was _his _baby too, James." Lily says her green eyes melting into mine.

"So you and Alice will go there. Remus, Frank, and I will stay with Maurie." She nods her head and kisses my lips.

"Help me up, dear husband." She says with a smile.

I place my hand under her arms and pull her up to a standing position. It's then that I looked down and notice the small bump on her stomach. I try and suppress my smile but fail miserably.

"What?" She asks looking down.

"Not a thing. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Tell me how he's doing." She nods and kisses me one more time.

"Ready Alice?" I watch as Alice kisses Frank before walking over to Lily. She grabs her hand and they walk out the door together, talking quickly.

"James." Frank starts and when I look at his face I can see guilt written all over it.

"Frank, please." I say shaking my head. "It's not your fault."

"I should have been paying attention, I should have blocked it." He says, his eyes starting to water. He turns his head away from me and punches the wall. "Dammit!" I walk over to him quickly and place my hand on his shoulder.

"Frank. It's not your fault." He looks down and quickly wipes his eyes. "We need to go help Zee now, can you handle that." He looks up, his face now dry and nods his head.

"Good, come on."

When I walk into Zee's room, Remus was now in bed next to her. Her head was buried completely in his neck and she was crying hysterically.

"Sweetheart." Remus was saying. "Sweetheart, you need to breathe."

The sight of her like that tore at my heart. "Maurie, we're going to take you home now."

She looks up at me and her eyes meet mine. "James." She says, but not aloud. It sounds in my head. "Maurie." I say back. "I'm so sorry." "Just take me home."

I walk over to the bed and pick her up from Moony's arms.

"We're taking you back to my house, okay?" She nods her head and curls up to my chest.

"Moony are you staying with us?" Frank asks, as we start walking down the hall way.

"Yeah, Lily and Alice?"

"Staying with Sirius." Moony nods his head,

"Alright good. Let's just get her home, she needs her sleep."

I place her on her bed, while Moony looks through the clothes she keeps here and grabs a pair of pajama pants and a large tee shirt that I was sure was mine. He hands them to my while I undress her quickly and place her pajamas on her. I place her under the blankets and climb in next to her; Moony does the same on the other side. While Frank lays himself at the end of the bed. She curls into me and I place her arms around her. The crying starts up again loud and her breathing becomes unsteady.

"Oh, love." I murmur to her as she cries. The sound of her crying didn't stop once that night.

XX

**-Lily's POV-**

"Sirius!" I say banging on the door. "Sirius I know you're there let me in!"

The door opens and Sirius is standing there his lip split.

"What? What in Merlin's name do you want?!" He yells. "Did you come to hit me too? To yell at me? I want to get some sleep so if you don't mind could you make it fast?!"

"Sirius, we're not here to yell at you." Alice says softly placing her hand on his arm. He stops, but his breathing picks up and he turns his head away.

"Come in." We walk in exchanging looks while he shuts the door behind us. I turn around again and see Sirius with his head against the door his shoulders shaking.

"Come on, love." I say wrapping my arm around him and pulling him away from the door. Alice gets on his other side as we walk him into his bedroom. It's then that he starts crying. It's loud and I feel tears welling up in my eyes as well.

"Alice, get me some pajamas for him." I say. I cup Sirius' cheeks in my hand, so he'll look at me.

"Tell me."

"W-what?" He stutters.

"Tell me how you feel."

"It's my fault!" He explodes. "James, Frank, Remus, and I were talking today about you three. I was saying how it looked like Zee gained weight and they agreed with me and then we were talking about how you all were acting different and always tired. Remus said maybe you guys were pregnant, but we didn't know for sure. Then Zee threw up before we left and I was almost sure of it, but she said she was fine and I thought she'd tell me if she thought so, so I just l-let her go."

Tears spill down my cheeks. "No, Sirius. It's not your fault." He shakes his head.

"It is my fault."

Alice is there handing me the pajamas. I gently undress him and place them on his body.

"Why don't you lay down Sirius?" I say placing the covers around him and climbing in myself. I wrap my arms around him, running my fingers through his hair, while Alice lays on the other side her fingers intertwined with his.

"I-I can never f-face her again! I killed our baby."

"Sirius, it wasn't you." Alice says gently. "It's just something that happened. It was no bodies fault."

"I'm so sorry I'm being like this. You two are both pregnant. You don't need me to damper your mood. You guys can go."

"I'm staying." I tell him firmly.

"And I'm happy for you too, I really am but-" His crying picks up again. I close my eyes tightly, as more tears fall down my own face.

"Why don't you try getting some sleep?" Alice tells him.

It was a nice suggestion, but no one get sleep that night.

XX

"I'll be right back." I tell Sirius and Alice the next morning when a knock sounds at the door. I slip out of bed and into the living room pulling open the door.

"Little Potter."

I usher Moody inside.

"I've heard what happened; I've just been to your house."

"Did you talk to her?" He shakes his head.

"No I've just talked to Remus. Molly was just arriving as I was. She's sitting with her now."

"What did Remus say?" I ask sitting down on the couch and wiping my eyes.

"He said she was up all night crying. She's not doing so well."

"W-what happened to the Death Eaters?" He looks down.

"Escaped. All of them."

"Dammit!" I curse angrily turning my head away from him. He places a large hand on my shoulder.

"I think congrats are in order."

"Thank you Moody."

"You are still allowed to work, obviously if you'd like. I'm not allowed to place you in field work though."

"I'll still be in. I just can't leave him yet."

"I understand, I'll have the younger ones do something for a change now. I'll see you soon." He gives me a soft kiss on the cheek before walking out the door.

I sit in there for a few minutes before getting up and turning on the spot. I land outside of my house just as Molly's walking out. Her stomach large now, since she's going on about 6 months. I give her a soft small and hug her.

"Our kids can play together." She says with a smile. "Due in July right?"

I nod my head.

"She's not doing well at all." She says then.

"Either is Sirius, I left him with Alice for a few moments so I could go and see James."

"I was just going to stop over there. I'll see you later, dear." I kiss her cheek before walking up to my house and walking inside. I heard noise in the kitchen so I walked straight in there.

James was sitting at the table, his eyes red and blood shot with a cup of tea in front of him.

"James?" He looks up and his eyes meet mine. He covers them though with his hands.

"Lily." The sound of my name coming from his lips sounds desperate, sounds pained. I'm at his side in seconds gently rubbing his hair.

"It will get better." I tell him. "I promise it will."

"It's just she wanted that baby so badly."

"She can try again James. The healer didn't say anything about not being able to have children. She'll be okay." He sighs and looks up.

"How's Sirius?"

I sink into the chair next to him.

"Not good at all, he cried all night. He thinks it's his fault."

"What?"

"He told me about the conversation you all had last night before he went home and he said he should have pressed for more information, especially after she threw up in front of him."

James shakes his head.

"It's not his fault." He looks up at me then. "You told him that right?"

"Of course I did!"

"Frank thinks it's his fault too." I snap my head back to his. "He said that if he was paying attention and blocked the spell, it would have never happened."

"That's silly." I say. "It's not his fault either. It just happened."

James nods his head. "I wish it didn't."

"Me either, but I did." I say. "All we can do is help them get passed it."

XX

**-Xeomara's POV-**

I feel pathetic, all I do is cry anymore but I can't help it. I'm tired and miserable and I'm not the best person to be around. I should have known. I'm a girl for fuck's sake. I should have picked up the signs. Increased appetite, gaining weight, throwing up. I'm not stupid, but yet I didn't know. How could I not know? But even if I did know, I still don't regret jumping in front of that spell. I'd probably do it all over again. Maybe that's another reason why I'm crying. I wanted this baby though, I wanted it so bad. I just didn't know how much until I lost it. A girl, a little baby girl.

Three days have passed and I've yet to get out of bed. James, Remus, and Frank have barely left my side for more than a few minutes. I just, I can't stop crying.

"Sweetheart." Remus says from beside me. "You've got a letter." I sit up shakily and he hands me a piece of parchment.

_Xeomara,_

_I was reading the prophet the other day and I read that you lost a baby. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. You would have made an excellent mother and I would have liked to have a Grandchild. I want you to know that you are an admirable woman and you shouldn't regret saving the life of your friend. You are brave and strong willed and I hope that you can move past this. I'd hate for this to ruin who you are. Please take care of yourself and tell my Son, that I'm sorry. Stay safe out there._

_Sincerely,_

_Orion._

My tears drip onto the page and Remus takes it from my hand.

"Orion?"

"My father in law." I correct. "He writes to me sometimes."

"How are you feeling today?" He asks gently, placing the letter down and pulling me into his arms.

"Tired." I tell him truthfully. "And sad. And angry. Remmie the list goes on."

"I know."

"I just wanted her so much."

"Her?"

"The baby was a girl, Rem." He pulls me tighter against her.

"I keep trying to picture what she would have looked like. I think she'd have my dark hair obviously because Sirius and I both have it, but I pictured her with her father's eyes. The shining grey eyes."

"She would have been beautiful." Moony says then. "But try not to think too much about it. You'll never feel better if you do."

"I know it's just-"

"SIRIUS!" I hear Alice scream from down stairs.

"Mate, maybe you shouldn't." I hear James says then.

"I'm going to go see my Wife. So if you'll excuse me." It's then that I hear his voice and it's closer than the rest. Suddenly he's there pulling the door open. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. Big dark circles were underneath his eyes that weren't shining like normally. His messy hair was messier than normal and he wore a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt.

"Sweetheart?" Remus says in my ear.

"It's okay." I whisper back. Slowly Remus untangles me from his arms and presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth.

"I'll be downstairs if you need me." He says seriously before walking towards the door. He stops in front of Sirius and pulls him into a hug. He whispers something that I can't hear and then leaves, shutting the door behind him.

It's quiet as we both continue to stare at each other. My lip trembles and I finally say,

"Just hold me."

That was all he needed to hear, he crossed the room with long stride and lays himself on the bed pulling me closely to him. I could hear his heart beating loudly in his chest and I just listened to the sound, hoping for it to put me to sleep. I cried then, and I could hear him crying as well. And this time I wasn't sure if I was going to stop. It took what felt like hours to get myself under control.

"It's my fault." He whispers into my hair.

That makes me look up and stare in his eyes. He goes into this long explanation about some conversation the boys had and about how it was his fault. I barely listened to him, finally I cut him off.

"Stop." I say softly. "Sirius this wasn't you fault. It wasn't Frank's either. It just- it just happened. If anything I should have realized what was happening."

"Love, you were worried about work and other things." He says. "I'm sorry I left you in the hospital. I just couldn't face you when I thought it was my fault. I felt so guilty. But I had to see you today. I couldn't leave you, not again."

I gently lean forward and kiss a tear off his cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Me?" He asks shocked. I nod my head. "I wanted to the baby I wanted-"

"Her." I supply.

His voice chokes. "Her?"

"Yes."

"Oh." He says blinking his eyes furiously.

"I wanted to have her too." I admit. "I wanted her more than anything, now that I know. I just wish I knew sooner."

"We can try again." He says then looking into my eyes. The feeling of dread that had been on me passed and I felt better than I had in days.

"You'd really want to?"

"I'd really want to." I cup his cheeks in my hand and kiss him. His mouth is soft on mine and I just never wanted to let go.

"Not now though, you need to get better first." He tells me, kissing me once more.

"But soon." I tell him.

He smiles and nods his head. "Soon."


	57. Bitch

**I have not updated in a little over a year now, which truthfully I have no logical reason for, but I cannot leave this story unfinished so, I **_**am **_**going to finish it. There isn't much of the story left, but it also will not stop with Lily and James' death. There will be a little bit after that to show how everyone is handling the deaths and such.**

**Well enjoy **

**And I'm terribly sorry about how long of a wait there was.**

**-Smithchickx13**

Chapter fifty seven- Bitch.

**A year later.**

**-Xeomara's POV-**

Today was Harry's first Christmas. Naturally James and Lily invited us over Christmas morning but I didn't have the will to get out of bed. It still hurt sometimes, seeing how happy they were with a child when I was incapable of having my own. What kind of woman did that make me? A failure. That's what kind of woman I was.

I had tried again as soon as I could and was pregnant by February. I fell sick in June and it was instantly put on bed rest. Sirius wasn't there. He and James had gone on a mission for the order in May and would be gone for two months. Lily was due in July. We had hope though, that he would return in time to see his son born.

For those two months I had moved back home and Remus moved in with me for he played the roll of baby sitter for Lily and I. On the morning of July 31st , I walked into the bathroom and instantly collapsed. Lily had found me, blood pooled around my legs and screamed for Remus.

"_Remus! Remus!_" I remember hearing her scream. "_She's collapsed there's blood everywhere!"_

And then I had blacked out.

The stress of seeing me like that sent Lily into labor. Remus took us both to 's.

And I had lost the baby.

Remus sat with me all day, Frank coming in and out, briefly leaving his own wife and son, who had be born the day before. _Neville._

Sirius had burst through the door around 7 and just by looking at me, he knew. He knew our daughter didn't make it.

Later that night Harry was born and I couldn't look at him for weeks. Nor could I look at Neville. I threw myself into work like I never have before and in fact I hardly saw anyone. Sirius had assured me that nothing changed but I couldn't help feeling like I failed him. And really I still feel that way.

Shaking my head I think about the first time in which I saw Harry.

He was a month and a half old at the time and just lying there in his crib. A puff of messy black hair and the brilliant green eyes of his mother. He stared up at me, the most innocent of looks on his face and I was stuck. I lifted him into my arms and he attached himself to my finger, holding it tightly in his little hands. I remember crying and apologizing again and again for not seeing him sooner, even though he couldn't understand me anyway. I barely let him go again.

Except today. Today was Christmas and I couldn't help but feel jealous towards James and Lily, even Alice and Frank. They had their sons, but my daughter. She wasn't here.

"We have to get up lov- Oh." He says suddenly staring at my eyes. "You're already up."

I nod my head.

"And?" He prompts.

"I'm not going."

He simply stares at me.

"I'm not feeling very well today. I'm tired, I had a rough night. I just want to go back to sleep."

I got like this sometimes (mostly though on the weekends when I didn't have work) where I couldn't force myself out of bed. Sirius was usually patient with me, but today he wasn't.

"It's Harry's first Christmas. We're not going to miss it." He stated firmly.

I rolled over in bed, facing the wall. "You can go, I'll just stay here and sleep." I mumble.

"Fuck that Xeomara." He grabs my arm and flips me over. "We are _both _going."

I rip my arm out of his grip. "Fuck you Sirius, leave me the bloody hell alone."

He throws the blankets violently off of his legs and storms out of the room.

_One, two, three-_

Remus bursts through the door and raises an eye brow at me.

Of course he had gone to him. That's what he did when I got too handle on these depressing days of mine. After all he still lived in our flat. For once Sirius and I firmly agreed on something. That Remus would not be permitted to live by himself until this whole war was over. Even though he bitched and moaned, I got my way and he was still staying in one of the guest rooms.

"Get up." He demands of me.

I glare. "No. Go away."

He crosses his arms over his chest and leans against the door. "I'm not going away until I see that you're getting up and getting dressed."

I just stare at him.

"Lily and James are waiting for us to open Harry's gifts and eat breakfast if you-"

He stops after realizing my flinch at Harry's name.

"You don't want to see the baby."

"No." I admit.

He slaps his hand against the wall. "I thought you were over this. He's alive Zee, he's here and he loves his Godmother very much. Go spend Christmas with him."

Sirius peeks his head in the room. "You have five minutes to get the fuck up. Or I'm hexing you and dragging you by force, understood?"

"Fine." I spat, throwing the covers off and standing up. "But don't expect me to speak to either of you." They stare at me. "Get the fuck out!"

And with a wave of my wand I push both boys out and slam the door in their faces. I flick my wand once and the door was locked. I walked into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face. I glanced up and stared into the mirror, looking at the drips of water on my cheeks. I no longer looked healthy like I did in the year after Hogwarts. I was back to my old wasted self, too thin to be considered healthy, dark circles under my eyes and too many faded scars to count.

I look away from the mirror and scoff. _I probably would have been a bloody horrible mum anyway. What with ending up in the hospital all the time-_

"Xeomara!" Sirius yells.

"I'm bloody coming!" I call back.

Before dressing quickly and exiting the room. They both open their mouths to speak but before they can I disappear with a small pop, landing on James' front steps. I take the key I grabbed off the nightstand and unlocked the door.

James ran at me the second the door was open, already knowing it was me.

"Happy Christmas, Maurie!" He screams throwing his arms around me and kissing my cheek.

"Happy Christmas."

He raised an eye brow. I look away towards where Lily and Harry were sitting on the couch.

"Happy Christmas, Lil."

She smiles at me. "Happy Christmas, now where exactly are Sirius and Rem-"

"We're not speaking this morning." I interrupt quickly. "But they'll be here soon."

Lily and James exchange a look but I ignore them both and walk over to Lily. "Hand me my godson, please."

She smirks and places him in my arms. He gurgles happily and smiles up at me, instantly tugging on my curls.

"Hey mate, Happy Christmas." I whisper in his ear.

He places his open mouth on my face in a kiss. I hold him tightly against me and close my eyes.

Two loud pops make me open my eyes and see Sirius and Remus stomp through the door.

Remus glares in my direction. "Quit acting like a bitch, Xeomara."

To be a smart arse I place my hands over Harry's ears. "No cursing in front of the child Remus." I look down at Harry. "Uncle Remus is so mean; who does he think he is, huh?" I ask him.

Harry smiles at me.

Sirius walks over to me with his arms outstretched. "Now hand him-"

"I'm sorry to intrude, but may I come in?" Says a voice from the doorway.

Lily walks up to him ushering him inside. "Of course not Albus, no need to apologize.

"Happy Christmas everyone." He says, his eyes twinkling as they land on the baby. "I'm sure you're excited for Harry's first, yes?"

"Oh yes." Lily says, staring at the baby for a second. "He's been in quite a good mood all morning, I'm sure it will be a good day."

He nods. "Yes."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Albus, is something the matter?"

"Oh no." He answers quickly. "But I do wonder if I could acquire your presence today." He says towards me.

"Order work on Christmas?" James ask, looking at Albus.

"Auror work actually. Alastor's already on his way there and he sent of me to come and retrieve you."

James looks surprised.

"Why her specifically?" Sirius questions when James doesn't.

"There's been an attack." He says in answer. "A Goblin family over by Nottingham."

I quickly hand off Harry to Sirius who begins to cry.

"Zee maybe you shouldn't-"

I cut Remus off.

"Take me there?" I ask holding out my arm.

Albus takes it without question and quickly leads me out of the house.

"Bye all!" I call over my shoulder. "Love you harry, darling!"

And then we disapparate.

**XX**

Walking up the house I could already see what a mess is was. The shutters were hanging off the siding, glass broken out of the windows, and the front yard was ripped to shreds. But the worst part was, the undeniable stench of blood. I briefly looked at Albus. He placed a hand on my back and ushered me forward.

I took a step inside and instantly froze. Blood covered all the walls and was dripping into puddles on the floor. From where I was standing, I could see a little girl an open wound on her neck, there wasn't any blood dripping from it. There wasn't any blood left.

My stomach lurched. I pushed past Albus out the front door and retched into the bushes beside the house. I stood up and wiped my mouth and watering eyes.

_I owed it to this family to be strong._ I thought in my head. _I owe it to them._

I stepped back inside, my head raised high and walked over to the little girl. I kneeled beside her and placed my finger tips of her eye lids, sliding them shut. She was only a child, what could Voldemort possibly get out of killing a child? I stood up angrily and walked over to where Moody was interrogating a death eater.

"You fucking bastard!" I screamed and slapped him full across the face. "She was a little girl- you scum-"

Moody grabbed my arm. "Black, enough."

"No fuck that!" I scream and point my wand at his throat.

"You're going to kill me? Over a couple of Goblins?" He laughs. "Shame you missed my master, he was just here. I'm sure he would have _loved _to see _you._"

I ignore his second comment. "Those Goblins were way better than you will ever be."

The Goblins to the right of me, most likely friends of the family, stared at me in shock.

I sigh once. "_Crucio._"

The man falls out of the chair and onto the floor screaming hysterically.

"Xeomara-"

"I am an Auror Mad-eye and Crouch gave us specific orders to use the cruciatus curse."

"If necessary!" Mad-eye barks. "He's already captured."

I glare at Moody and lift the curse. "Didn't realize you had gone soft."

The man was left panting on the floor.

I spit at him. "Well Selwelyn. You're going to have an excellent time in Azkaban."

I lift him by his shirt and pull him into a standing position, only to push him back in his seat. "I'm done with him, I'll collect the bodies."

Moody looks at me for a moment and then shakes his head. "Go on, I'll call you when this one needs to be taken."

I smirk at him once more. "Glady." And then I stomp off.

**XX**

"You know, having that patronus here is helping out the other prisoners." Selwelyn says. "Giving them a breath of fresh air."

I stroke the tigers head absently. "If I don't have it, they'll suck out my soul." I tell him truthfully. "And I don't really fancy dying."

He scoffs, "They wouldn't dare attack you."

"What exactly do you know about Dementors? They're not exactly bright creatures. The dark I have inside of me, is plenty to attract them. And like I said, I don't really fancy dying."

He shrugs his shoulders.

"Would you like to make yours?" I ask with a raised eye brow. "I wouldn't mind the extra protection."

"Can't." He tells me.

"You can't what?"

"I don't know how to make one."

I begin to laugh. "You? One of Voldmort's death eaters don't know how to do the Patronus Charm? That's laughable, really."

"You're a sadistic bitch, did you know that?" He spat.

I pretend to think on it for a second. "In fact I did know that and what I also know is that you kill people for a living. If that's not sadistic," I open the cell door and throw him in. "Then I don't know what is." I slam it shut and lock him in there.

"Mark my words, you'll lose bitch. You'll lose, _everything._"

"Funny." I say with a slight smile. "I was going to say the same thing to you."

And without waiting for him to answer I walk off and apparate directly the Molly's house. She answers the door instantly.

"Oh Happy Christmas- is that blood?" She demands, pulling me inside.

"S'not mine. Got a cup of tea I can borrow? I don't mean to barge in on Christmas, you already ate yes?"

"Yes for tea and yes we already ate." She says, beginning to bustle around the kitchen. "Are you hungry dear, would you like a bowl of soup?"

"No thanks Molly, not really hungry. Rough day at work." I say picking up the cup of tea she sat in front of me.

"What happened?"

"Goblins. Voldemort murdered a family of them. I arrested Swelelyn, but Voldemort was gone by the time we got there." I tell her. "Bloody coward."

"What did you say happened to the Goblins?" Arthur asks, walking into the kitchen and dropping a kiss on my cheek.

"Murdered. Ranghorn family. It was a mess, blood everywhere. The walls, the furniture." I shudder and take another sip of tea.

He shakes his head and sinks down in the chair. "Bloody shame, that is."

I nod.

"I'm told you put up quite the fight this morning."

I raise an eye brow at her.

"Remus stopped by around lunch. Seemed to think you'd be here."

I shake my head. "I was at work all day, just got off. And yeah I just couldn't-" I stop.

She covers my hand with her own. "I understand why you couldn't. I really do."

I smile at her. "How's little Ronnie? Doing alright?"

She nods. "He's with the boys. You can go and see them if you'd like."

I nod my head and stand.

"Wait before you do." She says.

I turn a look at her. She waves her wand in my direction and the blood is cleaned from my robes.

"Right. Thanks."

She smiles and waves her hand.

I step into the living room and instantly eight year old Charlie runs up to me. "Aunt Zee here's!" He yells throwing his arms around my leg. I pat his head, and then Bill not to be out done by his younger brother of two years, runs up to me and hugs me as well.

"I miss you Aunt Zee you haven't come to visit in a while."

I lean down and smile. "Sorry boys, I've been very busy at work. Happy Christmas."

"Happy Christmas!" They say back in unison.

"Aunt Zee!" Percy suddenly yells, I kneel down and wrap my arms around him.

"How are you Perce? Get anything good for Christmas."

"Mummy and Daddy got me lots of books!"

Bill and Charlie roll their eyes and I shoot them stern looks to which they smile innocently.

"Where are my little buddies Freddie and Georgie. They better come and give their Aunt a kiss."

Both said boys turn to me a waddle over, walking much better than I expected two year olds to walk. They both kiss me sloppily on the cheek and giggle.

I brush Fred's hair out of his eyes.

"And Ronnie?" I ask, looking towards Bill.

He points to a spot on the floor where the little baby was laid on a blanket, rolling back and forth.

I smile fondly and pick him up, to which he smiles and just like Harry tugs at my curls. "Hey there baby, Happy Christmas."

He gurgles in response.

"Aunt Zee, Aunt Zee!" Charlie yells to get my attention. "Can you tell us a story?"

"I don't know I haven't-"

"Please you haven't told us one in forever!" Bill begs.

I look over my shoulder when Molly says, "Why not Zee?"

I sigh and give in. "Alright, alright. Sit down then."

Bill and Charlie grab the twins and sit them down in front of the couch, following them. I sit with Ron on my lap on the floor in front of them. I take a deep dramatic breath before telling them about the time a dragon chased me in the Forbidden forest.

**XX**

"I think you should go and talk to them. I'm sure they're all at Lily's." Molly says to me, rocking a sleeping Ron back and forth.

"I was a right bitch. And they all know I was."

She gives a pointed look. "So go and apologize."

I frown.

"You really need to get over this pride business."

I sigh.

"Go." She tells me.

I just stare at her.

"_Xeomara!_" She warns.

I hold up my hands and stand up from the table. "Alright. Alright, I'll go."

She smiles.

"See you later then dear."

I roll my eyes. "Bye."

And then disapparate.

When I walked in the house, they were all sitting in the living by the fire. Remus had the baby in his arms. When I closed the door they all jumped slightly and the baby turned and looked at me. A beautiful little smile spreading on his face. He held out his arms towards me and I easily plucked him from Remus' arms and give him a kiss on the cheek.

No one spoke.

I sigh loudly. "I was a right bitch today."

"Yes, yes you were." Sirius agrees. "But I understand."

I swallow thickly and bend down to kiss him. "Happy Christmas love."

He smiles against my lips. "Happy Christmas."

Lily grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to her on the couch.

I squeezed her hand tightly.

"Where's wormtail?" I ask, directing the question towards James and Remus who had yet to show any sign of forgiveness.

"Stopped by earlier." Lily answers when they don't. "He had go back to work though."

"I'll just have to write him later I guess."

"If you weren't being such a bitch then you would have seen him." James tells me.

"James-"

"I'm sorry that my son lived and your daughter died." He says suddenly. "I'm sorry every fucking day, but there is nothing I can do about it and there's nothing you can do either!"

"James." Lily warns.

"No." I say shaking my head at Lily. "He's right. I can't do anything about it."

James rubs a hand over his face. "Bloody hell, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay James, it was the truth." I admit. "I need to stop being such a bitch. I'll try. I really will."

Remus stands and walks into the kitchen. "Firewhiskey?" He asks me.

I smile at him. That was Rem's way of forgiving me. He didn't have to say anything else.

And that's how I knew everything would be alright.


End file.
